G
04-27-2011, 06:54 AM
Went on myspace today, remember that site? XD And read some of my old blogs, looking for a certain one a friend had asked me to find.
Anyway, found a whole bunch of old poems from the last few years,so I thought I'd post them somewhere since from the state of that place, I can't see myself visiting myspace anytime soon.
Man, I was a melodramatic little girl XD
Anyway, feel free to comment etc.. :)
26 Oct '09.
They say
I have a way with words.
So why is my mind blank at every opportunity
to speak to you?
When I've reviewed
Every metaphor I'd use,
Practising profuse
And what's the use?
As soon
as you get too close
All the words are gone.
All I want to ask is where did I go wrong?
And tell me how to carry on.
and why am I so weak?
But when I get the chance to speak,
sentence incomplete.
My heart sinks to my knees
concentrate.
breathe.
too late.
I always hesitate,
the moment fades away.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to say what I need to say.
22 Nov '09
-The way*you looked at me with that something in yourt expression and said, "God, you're so fucking beautiful!"
The way I woke up with*you lying there beside me, still asleep.
The way I knew no matter what happened now
It was real; It had to be mutual . .
No matter if I've laid awake every night since counting sheep.
The way I sat by the roadside
and cried
On the way home.
The way I went to sleep alone,
but I could feel you in my bones. .
&Even so long after,
I can still feel you.. .
I'm sorry.
But it's true..
The connection was real
I feel
I apologise.
Coz I shouldn't be surprised
that we capsised
when it could've been high tide,
it happens to me every time.
but you're in my mind.
just to let you know.
In the light,
&Baby you shine so bright.
24 Jan '10
All these thoughts and hopes and dreams
and wonderings of what this means
and pondering on in-betweens
are splitting me right down the seams
and falling from between the threads
unravelling each word you've said
circling around my head
Really i want to find some clue
that tells me everything was true
but really*all i need to do
is put a hold on thoughts of you
and maybe focus more on me
and why it is i think i need
somebody else to make me happy
when alone i am complete.
21 Oct '09
Well I like you that must mean you like me,
coz' how could I feel so much unless you do?
Should've known you would come back to bite me,
nothing*real can come from what starts in untruth.
But I blinded myself to everything but you
As I do
Seems I always do.
And you looked so beautiful
that night, the last time.
I should've known you weren't real at all,
but it felt right, the last time.
Then in the morning light I saw
our blood dripping from your bedroom walls,
We all fall down,
Broken on the ground.
Well your chemical cocktails' no excuse,
for the lies that you laid all around me.
Guess the marks on my skin spell the truth,
of what kind of beauty you really found in me.
Did you realise,
I was emotionally tied?
And you lied with your eyes.
And you told me your heart was just like mine.
And you looked so beautiful
that night, the last time.
I kinda felt*you weren't real at all,
but I felt like it could be the last time.
Then the morning sun comes to call,
and her face stares straight at me from nowhere at all.
We all fall down,
I hope you found what you were looking for.
You said it's okay we're making love,
I'm calling your bluff,
I think we just fuck.
I think we're pretty fucked up.
And don't you feel even a little guilty,
I gotta say I feel kindof filthy,
and I can still see
You whispering your sweet little nothings,
and I told myself that I meant something.
Really it's all very touching
and untrue.
And I won't try to call it a mistake
coz' I knew it was wrong and I did it anyway,
I guess now all I can do
is try not to think about how you
Looked so beautiful,
that night, the last time.
I should've known you weren't real at all,
But it felt right, the last time.
Then in the morning light I saw
our blood dripping from your bedroom walls.
We all fall down.
25 March '09
do you remember/once/you said/I'm in love/so stupid/but too much/to resist/do you remember when we first kissed?/so foolish/so/so electric/what hope did we have of stopping it/coz you said/there's this something in my head/inside of me/I don't know what's happening/this fire is too hot to hide/I gotta say what's on my mind/so let it burn baby bright/I know it's hard/to look away/by day/but we'll always have the night/ours is the night.
6 march '09
You infuriate me with your smile,
coz i start to d* r* i* f* t . . .
and then you eye connects with mine,
and our silent conversation drowns everything else out,
and we're intertwined.
You can't deny there's somthing,
but I can't escape the something missing.
We had it once before...
but it slipped away.
Things change,
and nothing moves backward
not time, not us.
We had our perfect moment,
when there was only you and me,
and noone else.
And we could be content with ourselves
but you slipped too,
and i stayed
in those days of bliss
and wasted away on reminiscence.
And it took all these months,
of first pretence and then acceptance,
of tears and lies and false smiles,
and body to body with no meaning,
for the realisation to strike.
I cannot be what you need.
I wish it were a fault in me,
some err in myself I could change.
But you are surrounded now by a fortress of ice,
that even the fire I feel cannot melt.
And it's strange to think that,
after so long of needing nothing else
i must now go without the only thing
i've ever felt I really needed to survive.
But that's how it is.
I have to stop fighting and denying the truth.
I have always and will always be yours,
andi will not pretend this fire will diminish,
but this chapter is finished,
and as much as i hate to know
i have to let go
there is more to this story than just 'unhappily the end.'
So i'll try to turn the page and let the story start again.
And you and me may never again be lovers,
but I love you enough to be your best 'just friend.'
31 jan 09
it's just this game we play together,
ill say "baby, i'll love you forever,"
and you can tell me that i'm all you'll ever need,
i close my eyes
and in my mind
you're not lying to me.
29 sep 08
I'm so sorry that i could never measure up to you,
And i apologise for all the love I put you through,
Please forgive me, i didn't realise that you were always right,
i'm so sorry that i i cared enough to put up a fight,
when you said it was the end of the ride.
12 jun 08
I'm sure i figured out a reason i should go on without you,
But these days I can't seem to remember what it was,
I thought that*I could find that "I can do it,"
But I've found*I need*"I can do it because..."
And all these lovesongs playing on the radio,
Give a small smug smile and sing straight to me,
And you hands tear into my chest and,
Use my heartstrings to strum the melody,
And there's an aching in the back of my head,
That, hard as*I try,*just won't seem to go away,
I just need to find something, anything,
That will help to take away the pain,
I've tried every kind of intoxication,
But even that doesn't work so well these days,
My head may be spinning in circles,
But the thoughts inside are still the same,
And I know that I should just be happy,
That I was ever loved by*you at all,
But I was kind of hoping maybe this time,
That I wouldn't have to fall.
It's never hurt so much before.
12 jul 08
So what does this mean?
This bullshit I've been hearing.
What's with it ?
What's true ?
They say you did.
Surely you didn't?
You couldn't have.
You aren't supposed to do this.
Not to me.
Never.
How could you?
But
Surely you couldn't have!
Fuck it.
I'm so confused.
I love you.
Really I do.
Don't tell me none of it was true...
The only thing worse than losing you
Would be to find out I never had you to begin with.
12 jul 08
I came pretty close this time,
to just giving up.
On what?
Just everything.
But i know that if i give up,
i lose any chance i may have had at success.
So i can't.
Not really.
x
I sometimes wonder exactly what it is about you that could inspire such strong feeling in me, ME, when i've done my best to close my heart to exactly this emotion.
It's not as though you're perfect.
Except in every way.
I know that doesn't make any sense, but little does when you're in love.
Your imperfections are perfectly suited to you.
x
But
He's been on my mind a lot lately.
Sometimes he even overtakes the thoughts of you.
Though rarely.
I don't know why.
Perhaps because of the similarity i see between the two of you.
I want to know him, though.
And not just the part that concerns you.
That's what's got me so confused.
x
I don't think you'd see it the way i do.
If you knew.
You'd tell me you aren't similar at all.
Not in the least.
You'd tell me you were disgusted.
Jealous too, but you wouldn't tell me that part.
x
I dreamed of you last night.
Like i do far too often.
This time was different though.
You asked me "Georgie, how many people have you kissed since you last kissed me?"
Just kissed.
That's all you asked.
I was silent for a moment.
My reply?
"Do you want me to tell you how many people I've kissed, my love?
Or do you want to know how many I wasn't pretending were you?"
I'd never thought of it like that before.
But you smiled.
God, I love it when you smile.
Especially when it's because of me.
x
I wasn't pretending with him though,
That night on the couch.
Oh god, the couch.
I hadn't thought of that.
This reminiscence is killing me.
x
I don't know why i didn't have to pretend.
It's not that I'm in love with him.
I know unequivically that I will never feel that emotion for anyone but you. I'm just...Intrigued.
Attracted.
x
I love you.
I really do.
Don't ever think otherwise.
But is it wrong for me to smile for a few swiftly passing moments, and for it not to be pretend.
I've been doing that a little more lately.
I like the feeling.
I guess you can't fully appreciate happiness until you're incapable of feeling it.
x
Do I really mean as little as i seem to?
Or do you do this intentionally.
To try and help me move on?
It doesn't help.
Nothing does.
I just can't.
And more importantly, I refuse.
x
Do you really care as little as you seem to?
Or is that you were certain.
Do I confuse you?
x
Is there really nothing left of what was there?
Or do you just not want to think about it.
Do you still feel it?
Feel more than you can let yourself feel.
Or am i seeing things that aren't there again.
These damn hallucinations.
x
I used to put two and two together.
"I miss you" and "I want to see you"
Meant so much more.
I used to come up with affection.
But i thought it was all just wishful thinking.
Until you told me it wasn't.
Until you told me there was something.
Now there's nothing?
x
I love you.
I really do.
Don't ever think otherwise.
But is it wrong for me to try and find happines with someone other than you. Don't get the wrong impression.
It's not that I think I will find it.
In fact I'm quite positive that I wont.
But I have to try.
x
I think I know where my happiness comes from.
From the place my head rests when you wrap your arms around me.
Out of your chest, and in my ear.
Does a few backflips round my brain and I hold on a little tighter till the dizziness subsides.
Then it settles in the pit of my heart.
x
I'm waiting, love.
For you to turn around and realise there's noone else.
Realise this little girl has loved you all along.
Realise she always will.
But what if that day never comes?
No, Let's not dwell on the dark side.
I'll just assume it will.
There's no life without hope.
No hope without love.
Love I have, and plenty.
So hope can grow from there.
x
Everything happens for a reason.
I just hope my reasons are enough.
11 jul 08
I've heard some things.
But it's all just He Said/She Said, isn't it?
And didn't us kids say we wouldn't play those games?
We're all a little old for that.
So i guess not kids anymore?
But still, i'm typically teenage now, or isn't that right?
Well, that's what He Said.
She Said it was nothing.
He believes it because he wants to.
And that makes it easier, when you want to believe.
I don't.
He Said you kissed her?
Just because you felt like it.
And She kissed you back but he doesn't want to know about that part.
But*who kissed who now?
That's the hard part.
I wasn't there.
I didn't see.
I don't know.
There's only one bad guy.
He doesn't want it to be her.
I don't want it to be you.
So I guess we're even, me and him.
He Said he can't understand why I Said that even after everything you're still all I want.
I Said I didn't expect him to understand.
Just to be a friend.
And tell me it was all going to be okay.
Even if he knows it isn't.
She Said she's not the enemy.
She Said she's sorry for telling me.
Maybe*I should hear what you say?
But when I think about it...
I don't need to ask.
Because if it's true I don't particularly want reality.
What Did I Say?
I'm Saying I'll go on believing that it meant something.
It meant something to me.
And you're a damn good actor if to you it didn't.
But He Said...
And She Said...
They're both wrong.
They have to be.
They are in my head.
I'll go with what We Said.
I like those words better.
They don't hurt anyone.
As long as you don't say them out loud.
I'll post more if I find more : ) Please let me know what you think.
Anyway, found a whole bunch of old poems from the last few years,so I thought I'd post them somewhere since from the state of that place, I can't see myself visiting myspace anytime soon.
Man, I was a melodramatic little girl XD
Anyway, feel free to comment etc.. :)
26 Oct '09.
They say
I have a way with words.
So why is my mind blank at every opportunity
to speak to you?
When I've reviewed
Every metaphor I'd use,
Practising profuse
And what's the use?
As soon
as you get too close
All the words are gone.
All I want to ask is where did I go wrong?
And tell me how to carry on.
and why am I so weak?
But when I get the chance to speak,
sentence incomplete.
My heart sinks to my knees
concentrate.
breathe.
too late.
I always hesitate,
the moment fades away.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to say what I need to say.
22 Nov '09
-The way*you looked at me with that something in yourt expression and said, "God, you're so fucking beautiful!"
The way I woke up with*you lying there beside me, still asleep.
The way I knew no matter what happened now
It was real; It had to be mutual . .
No matter if I've laid awake every night since counting sheep.
The way I sat by the roadside
and cried
On the way home.
The way I went to sleep alone,
but I could feel you in my bones. .
&Even so long after,
I can still feel you.. .
I'm sorry.
But it's true..
The connection was real
I feel
I apologise.
Coz I shouldn't be surprised
that we capsised
when it could've been high tide,
it happens to me every time.
but you're in my mind.
just to let you know.
In the light,
&Baby you shine so bright.
24 Jan '10
All these thoughts and hopes and dreams
and wonderings of what this means
and pondering on in-betweens
are splitting me right down the seams
and falling from between the threads
unravelling each word you've said
circling around my head
Really i want to find some clue
that tells me everything was true
but really*all i need to do
is put a hold on thoughts of you
and maybe focus more on me
and why it is i think i need
somebody else to make me happy
when alone i am complete.
21 Oct '09
Well I like you that must mean you like me,
coz' how could I feel so much unless you do?
Should've known you would come back to bite me,
nothing*real can come from what starts in untruth.
But I blinded myself to everything but you
As I do
Seems I always do.
And you looked so beautiful
that night, the last time.
I should've known you weren't real at all,
but it felt right, the last time.
Then in the morning light I saw
our blood dripping from your bedroom walls,
We all fall down,
Broken on the ground.
Well your chemical cocktails' no excuse,
for the lies that you laid all around me.
Guess the marks on my skin spell the truth,
of what kind of beauty you really found in me.
Did you realise,
I was emotionally tied?
And you lied with your eyes.
And you told me your heart was just like mine.
And you looked so beautiful
that night, the last time.
I kinda felt*you weren't real at all,
but I felt like it could be the last time.
Then the morning sun comes to call,
and her face stares straight at me from nowhere at all.
We all fall down,
I hope you found what you were looking for.
You said it's okay we're making love,
I'm calling your bluff,
I think we just fuck.
I think we're pretty fucked up.
And don't you feel even a little guilty,
I gotta say I feel kindof filthy,
and I can still see
You whispering your sweet little nothings,
and I told myself that I meant something.
Really it's all very touching
and untrue.
And I won't try to call it a mistake
coz' I knew it was wrong and I did it anyway,
I guess now all I can do
is try not to think about how you
Looked so beautiful,
that night, the last time.
I should've known you weren't real at all,
But it felt right, the last time.
Then in the morning light I saw
our blood dripping from your bedroom walls.
We all fall down.
25 March '09
do you remember/once/you said/I'm in love/so stupid/but too much/to resist/do you remember when we first kissed?/so foolish/so/so electric/what hope did we have of stopping it/coz you said/there's this something in my head/inside of me/I don't know what's happening/this fire is too hot to hide/I gotta say what's on my mind/so let it burn baby bright/I know it's hard/to look away/by day/but we'll always have the night/ours is the night.
6 march '09
You infuriate me with your smile,
coz i start to d* r* i* f* t . . .
and then you eye connects with mine,
and our silent conversation drowns everything else out,
and we're intertwined.
You can't deny there's somthing,
but I can't escape the something missing.
We had it once before...
but it slipped away.
Things change,
and nothing moves backward
not time, not us.
We had our perfect moment,
when there was only you and me,
and noone else.
And we could be content with ourselves
but you slipped too,
and i stayed
in those days of bliss
and wasted away on reminiscence.
And it took all these months,
of first pretence and then acceptance,
of tears and lies and false smiles,
and body to body with no meaning,
for the realisation to strike.
I cannot be what you need.
I wish it were a fault in me,
some err in myself I could change.
But you are surrounded now by a fortress of ice,
that even the fire I feel cannot melt.
And it's strange to think that,
after so long of needing nothing else
i must now go without the only thing
i've ever felt I really needed to survive.
But that's how it is.
I have to stop fighting and denying the truth.
I have always and will always be yours,
andi will not pretend this fire will diminish,
but this chapter is finished,
and as much as i hate to know
i have to let go
there is more to this story than just 'unhappily the end.'
So i'll try to turn the page and let the story start again.
And you and me may never again be lovers,
but I love you enough to be your best 'just friend.'
31 jan 09
it's just this game we play together,
ill say "baby, i'll love you forever,"
and you can tell me that i'm all you'll ever need,
i close my eyes
and in my mind
you're not lying to me.
29 sep 08
I'm so sorry that i could never measure up to you,
And i apologise for all the love I put you through,
Please forgive me, i didn't realise that you were always right,
i'm so sorry that i i cared enough to put up a fight,
when you said it was the end of the ride.
12 jun 08
I'm sure i figured out a reason i should go on without you,
But these days I can't seem to remember what it was,
I thought that*I could find that "I can do it,"
But I've found*I need*"I can do it because..."
And all these lovesongs playing on the radio,
Give a small smug smile and sing straight to me,
And you hands tear into my chest and,
Use my heartstrings to strum the melody,
And there's an aching in the back of my head,
That, hard as*I try,*just won't seem to go away,
I just need to find something, anything,
That will help to take away the pain,
I've tried every kind of intoxication,
But even that doesn't work so well these days,
My head may be spinning in circles,
But the thoughts inside are still the same,
And I know that I should just be happy,
That I was ever loved by*you at all,
But I was kind of hoping maybe this time,
That I wouldn't have to fall.
It's never hurt so much before.
12 jul 08
So what does this mean?
This bullshit I've been hearing.
What's with it ?
What's true ?
They say you did.
Surely you didn't?
You couldn't have.
You aren't supposed to do this.
Not to me.
Never.
How could you?
But
Surely you couldn't have!
Fuck it.
I'm so confused.
I love you.
Really I do.
Don't tell me none of it was true...
The only thing worse than losing you
Would be to find out I never had you to begin with.
12 jul 08
I came pretty close this time,
to just giving up.
On what?
Just everything.
But i know that if i give up,
i lose any chance i may have had at success.
So i can't.
Not really.
x
I sometimes wonder exactly what it is about you that could inspire such strong feeling in me, ME, when i've done my best to close my heart to exactly this emotion.
It's not as though you're perfect.
Except in every way.
I know that doesn't make any sense, but little does when you're in love.
Your imperfections are perfectly suited to you.
x
But
He's been on my mind a lot lately.
Sometimes he even overtakes the thoughts of you.
Though rarely.
I don't know why.
Perhaps because of the similarity i see between the two of you.
I want to know him, though.
And not just the part that concerns you.
That's what's got me so confused.
x
I don't think you'd see it the way i do.
If you knew.
You'd tell me you aren't similar at all.
Not in the least.
You'd tell me you were disgusted.
Jealous too, but you wouldn't tell me that part.
x
I dreamed of you last night.
Like i do far too often.
This time was different though.
You asked me "Georgie, how many people have you kissed since you last kissed me?"
Just kissed.
That's all you asked.
I was silent for a moment.
My reply?
"Do you want me to tell you how many people I've kissed, my love?
Or do you want to know how many I wasn't pretending were you?"
I'd never thought of it like that before.
But you smiled.
God, I love it when you smile.
Especially when it's because of me.
x
I wasn't pretending with him though,
That night on the couch.
Oh god, the couch.
I hadn't thought of that.
This reminiscence is killing me.
x
I don't know why i didn't have to pretend.
It's not that I'm in love with him.
I know unequivically that I will never feel that emotion for anyone but you. I'm just...Intrigued.
Attracted.
x
I love you.
I really do.
Don't ever think otherwise.
But is it wrong for me to smile for a few swiftly passing moments, and for it not to be pretend.
I've been doing that a little more lately.
I like the feeling.
I guess you can't fully appreciate happiness until you're incapable of feeling it.
x
Do I really mean as little as i seem to?
Or do you do this intentionally.
To try and help me move on?
It doesn't help.
Nothing does.
I just can't.
And more importantly, I refuse.
x
Do you really care as little as you seem to?
Or is that you were certain.
Do I confuse you?
x
Is there really nothing left of what was there?
Or do you just not want to think about it.
Do you still feel it?
Feel more than you can let yourself feel.
Or am i seeing things that aren't there again.
These damn hallucinations.
x
I used to put two and two together.
"I miss you" and "I want to see you"
Meant so much more.
I used to come up with affection.
But i thought it was all just wishful thinking.
Until you told me it wasn't.
Until you told me there was something.
Now there's nothing?
x
I love you.
I really do.
Don't ever think otherwise.
But is it wrong for me to try and find happines with someone other than you. Don't get the wrong impression.
It's not that I think I will find it.
In fact I'm quite positive that I wont.
But I have to try.
x
I think I know where my happiness comes from.
From the place my head rests when you wrap your arms around me.
Out of your chest, and in my ear.
Does a few backflips round my brain and I hold on a little tighter till the dizziness subsides.
Then it settles in the pit of my heart.
x
I'm waiting, love.
For you to turn around and realise there's noone else.
Realise this little girl has loved you all along.
Realise she always will.
But what if that day never comes?
No, Let's not dwell on the dark side.
I'll just assume it will.
There's no life without hope.
No hope without love.
Love I have, and plenty.
So hope can grow from there.
x
Everything happens for a reason.
I just hope my reasons are enough.
11 jul 08
I've heard some things.
But it's all just He Said/She Said, isn't it?
And didn't us kids say we wouldn't play those games?
We're all a little old for that.
So i guess not kids anymore?
But still, i'm typically teenage now, or isn't that right?
Well, that's what He Said.
She Said it was nothing.
He believes it because he wants to.
And that makes it easier, when you want to believe.
I don't.
He Said you kissed her?
Just because you felt like it.
And She kissed you back but he doesn't want to know about that part.
But*who kissed who now?
That's the hard part.
I wasn't there.
I didn't see.
I don't know.
There's only one bad guy.
He doesn't want it to be her.
I don't want it to be you.
So I guess we're even, me and him.
He Said he can't understand why I Said that even after everything you're still all I want.
I Said I didn't expect him to understand.
Just to be a friend.
And tell me it was all going to be okay.
Even if he knows it isn't.
She Said she's not the enemy.
She Said she's sorry for telling me.
Maybe*I should hear what you say?
But when I think about it...
I don't need to ask.
Because if it's true I don't particularly want reality.
What Did I Say?
I'm Saying I'll go on believing that it meant something.
It meant something to me.
And you're a damn good actor if to you it didn't.
But He Said...
And She Said...
They're both wrong.
They have to be.
They are in my head.
I'll go with what We Said.
I like those words better.
They don't hurt anyone.
As long as you don't say them out loud.
I'll post more if I find more : ) Please let me know what you think.