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Thread: First poem ever, bare with me lol

  1. #1
    signofthevirgo
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    Default First poem ever, bare with me lol

    sick of trying, if your all just lying
    all it has done is confuse me
    mentally, emotionally, cant you see?
    i dont know how long you expected us to last
    all we did was clash
    & like the ghost of christmas past,
    your gone but now your back?
    the scars remain, & I still feel the pain
    like opening an old wound once again..
    but i must get tougher,
    because life only gets rougher
    being on your own,
    never felt so alone
    miss those soft lips, just like a feather.
    our minds strenghten when were not together
    & we grow stronger when were apart
    but i know that someday-despite what they all say,
    each and every different day
    but there has to be some truth in this...
    cuz i dont understand why i get this perpetual bliss
    by just the thought of your kiss

  2. #2
    Arch-angel of Epica
    Kris's Avatar
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    Default

    Aside of minor spelling I like the rhyming and the emotions in this.

    I do suggest however to add capitalizing and punctuation into it, because I think you really put a work, thought and feeling into this and I believe it can be made even better.

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