[M] When Darkness Falls - [Karma&Ashen]

[.Karma.]

Hate, was a wasted emotion. What did it help to hate? She did know werewolves stank, and most would try to kill her on site. So she always had her guard up, but hate? She had hidden most of her feelings away including hate. Plus, this dog had done nothing to her, he was actually kind of... endearing.

She laughed out loud at his comments about devilishly good looks. He did have a drawing quality about him, something different. She had met many men in her years, but he had something sweet, maybe naive? Something that she couldn't pinpoint that made her want to stay and talk to him. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn't attempted to kill her. With werewolves she had sworn it was pure instinct that made them want to kill her kind. Just like with vampires it was their love for the kill and it was odd to find one that was different. They were usually the loners.

After she got a good little laugh. "Of course, who wouldn't want to sit and gaze upon a shaggy dog." She winked. She actually found him quite attractive. His eyes were best part. "Miles, I have not tried to kill you because you have given me no reason to try and kill you. I don't kill just because." She smiled again trying to keep the conversation light. "Plus, you smell too rotten to eat." She leaned in and sniffed, not keeping into account his personal space at all. "The hate that our races have fostered stems far before even I was turned..."

She started walking so they weren't standing there awkwardly anymore. She hoped he would follow. "...I always thought it was some type of instinct that wolves." She stopped herself from calling him mutt or dog, so he would keep talking and walking with her. "...that wolves were born with it, but I don't feel hatred coming from you.." She wasn't sure why she wanted to keep him talking to her, maybe she was lonelier than she thought. It was nice to share a conversation with someone that didn't smell like food. Maybe that was the difference in smells, it may not be a bad smell that werewolves had, it just wasn't the smell of food. It didn't make her mind see different colors. It was nice.

[Ashen]

Miles actually raised an eyebrow when she'd said she did not kill just because. That was news to him, who had read and heard that vampires did just that. He did not flinch when she invaded his personal space, just became a bit agitated and waited for her to get away from him. Miles did not feel threatened around this creature of the night. He did not trust her, though, and he did not like anyone close to him as a general rule. When she started walking away, he let out a sigh.

But she continued to speak, and it would appear as though she wanted him to follow her. He had nothing to lose, so he did, and listened to her voice. "That's pretty funny," he said. "I was taught the same thing about you. That you had instincts to hate and instincts to kill. I guess I never fully believed in the whole hate instinct, though. I mean, is hatred an instinct?" He paused for a moment and laughed out loud. That was the type of question that would get him smacked if Ducharme had heard him. The older werewolf would accuse him of being "too philosophical" and would tell him to "just take things as they are, dammit."

Soon Miles continued walking, matching the female's pace. "Another thing," he said, his voice a bit quieter than before. "I was not born a wolf. I was born a boy. The day that... puerile sophomore bit me--" Miles stopped himself and seemed to realize she wouldn't understand what he meant. He cleared his throat and used dumbed-down words. "The day I was bitten, the wolf in me was not born. Monsters are not born. It was the day it emerged. So even if wolves are born with a hatred--which is, of course, unture, as wolves are incapable of emotion and therefore cannot hate, but I digress--even if wolves were born with something like that, I would not have it, because the wolf in me was never born, only manifested." When Miles looked up at her his cheeks seemed to color a bit. He hadn't meant to go off on a rant, and if he wore glasses, he'd most likely be fiddling with them awkwardly. He mumbled an apology for ranting and turned away. Was he blushing in front of a vampire? He would laugh about this later.

[.Karma.]

"You." She looked into his eyes. "Are not devoid of emotion." She laughed as his cheeks turned red. "See there is some emotion right there showing in your cheeks. "Now I have met some vampires, that are actually devoid of emotion. Something happens when you live thousands of years, you become callous and cold. Emotions are useless. At least that is what my maker told me."

She tried to turn off her emotions. Sometimes it worked. Especially when she was hungry, but they always came back. She had a place in her mind she pushed them too. There were times when they became too much, but she never would let anyone see that side of her. That side of her was weak. Vampires are meant to be strong. The ultimate predator. What kind of predator broke down about their prey every once and awhile.

She realized she had gone lost in thought again. He was making her think. She loved that. She hadn't found a being in quite some time that actually challenged her mind.

"Does something without a soul have the capability of feeling?" She decided to ask him another difficult question to see what his answer was. She didn't think he would automatically go with what everyone thought... that no they couldn't feel and as most vampires thought there was no reason to feel. Why was she having this conversation with a young wolf? She had a maker, there were plenty of vampires to ask, and she knew where to find them. But she avoided them.

"Manifested huh.." That sent her into another quiet phase mulling it over in her head. It made sense. "So would you say the hate then is... indoctrinated?"

[Ashen]

The fact that Victoria pointed out the color of his cheeks just made them turn a deeper hue. He stumbled over some words, producing a childish babble that made no sense. Giving up, he sighed and turned his attention to her. Maker... She had used the word maker. Perhaps that was what she called the vampire that had turned her. He wondered what kind of relationship Victoria's maker had with her. If they were close. If the turn was intentional. If Victoria had ever wanted to be like this.

Her question surprised him. Miles was not used to deep questions. In his pack, he would get scolded for going into too much detail. Otherwise his attention to ambiguity would be shrugged off all too easily. Was she asking such a deep question on purpose? The very idea excited him. His eyes light lit up a little. They searched her face, almost as if to prove to himself that this was real. That she was really there, and that she was really asking him to think. He averted his gaze and looked far away, contemplating his answer. Satisfied, he turned back to her.

"Well," he started. "My mother is a natural redhead, and she loved me very much. She was fully capable of emotion." He smirked and shook his head. "As for you," he said softly. "I do think you can feel. Of course, I have never been a vampire. I never want to be, no offense. But I do not know how you would be able to carry on... without feeling. I don't even mean just feeling for other people. Love is a weird thing, and I don't want to touch at that here. I mean... How does an artist paint a beautiful ocean if he does not feel the waves moving his brush strokes? How does a writer describe the chill of a wintry day without first feeling the breeze caress his skin? A chef cannot properly cook a meal if he does not feel the succulent combination of spices peppering his tongue when he takes his first bite; if he does not feel the satisfaction of all those for whom he had cooked. Anything you could possibly do, Victoria... What is it, if there is no feeling in it? Whatever emotion it is when you do things... You have to have something. Without feeling, without emotion... You are nothing, and it is nothing you will create. I think this all depends on what you consider to be a soul. Are soul and feeling inseperable? I do not think I can say. But I do think I can say that you do feel."

He was only partially satisfied with his answer, but it would have to do. He had already gone on too long, and he needed to shut himself up. But when she brought up hate, well, he just couldn't. "Did you say... indoctrinated?" His eyes got wide and even seemed to sparkled. "Indoctrinated. You could not have said taught? You could not have used initiated? Planted and grown?" He was getting excited; his words were blending into each other. "You used indoctrinated. That's... that's bloody marvelous. How many people even know what that word means, let alone would use it in a sentence? How--" Miles stopped himself and stopped walking. He took a step away from her and seemed horrifed for a moment. Then, just as suddenly as he had stopped, he burst into laughter. "Getting riled up over words!" he laughed. "Look at me." Miles rolled his eyes at himself. "Y-yes, I think hatred is taught. Indoctrinated."

[.Karma.]

She almost felt bad for the way she made him stumble on his words, but it was cute. "How endearing." She smiled as she walked along she kept her speed at a normal human speed.

She really liked him. She couldn't help it. Her maker would be very disappointed in her right now. In all her time without a companion, the one person that she had found that had kept her interested was a werewolf. He would tell her it was a trick that he would kill her as soon as he could. It might be true, but he was smart and he was capable of deep thinking, didn't just go along with the norm and it was exciting.

At the comment about red hair she actually laughed out loud. "So maybe I was soulless to begin with!" She laughed but it calmed as he gave her a profound answer, exactly what she hoped for. "But artists, cooks, writers. Those are all things that you are before you are turned. So, is it only because you can remember those feelings that you are capable of art, writing and cooking when you become soulless? Or is it that you are feeling them in that moment?" These are all things that she had pondered over her hundreds of years, but never really capable of figuring out. Did she feel guilt for killing because she knows she should, or because she actually felt guilty? Did it make her think of things long gone? Like her own life being taken from her without her consent?

His surprise made her look at him to see what he was ranting about. That sparkle in his eyes was addicting. She wanted to keep putting it there. She didn't even think about her choice of words and how most people tend to use easier words to explain what they thought. She was still walking along when he stopped and and burst into laughter, his own laughter made her laugh as well. It was like they were children, but she couldn't help but laugh with him. "Why are you so astonished?" She watched as he tried to compose himself but she couldn't help but go into a fit of laughter again herself. A conversation about hate and feelings and they could do nothing but laugh. This was different. Good different. She couldn't remember the last time she truly laughed. Not a pretend laugh to lure her prey a true laugh with someone. It was almost scary.

[Ashen]

He had a silly grin as she laughed at his joke. His smile soon faded into an expression of concentration. When she finished speaking, Miles shook his head softly. "Perhaps you were a cook before you were turned," he said softly. "Perhaps you were an artist, a writer. But... what if you weren't?" He raised an eyebrow and let his words settle before picking up again. "Let us say that you were all of these things before you died, Victoria. Let us say... I know not how old you are, and I know better than to ask a lady for her age, so for the sake of argument, let us say you were born... in 1790. A woman born in the late 1700's, growing up in the early 1800's... You would have had very little rights. So let us say you were bitten when you were... seventeen. 1807. As a seventeen-year-old girl in this time, you would have never known how to do many things. Women simply were not allowed to know. So, you would have never learned... archery. Now let us skip to today. It is over two centuries later. Women have rights now. You can shoot all the arrows you care to shoot. Does this mean, if you were to pick up archery today, you would never have a feel for it? That you would never put feeling into it? I really do not think it does, milady." Milady... so perhaps his vocabulary was slightly outdated. He shrugged his shoulders. "You would never remember how the bow felt in your arms. Not until well after you had died. I do not think all of your hobbies now are the same hobbies you had in 1807, are they?" He smirked again. "Besides. Four times I have made you laugh during this conversation. Four times... That's a personal best for me, I think. If you felt nothing during those laughs... No, those didn't sound empty at all."

When Victoria asked why he was so astonished--and astonished was another word greater than surprised or shocked, its duller counterparts--he could only shrug. "My pack does not like me using big words. Well, Duke doesn't like me using big words. But he is an asshole, so I use them anyway. He's also an idiotic asshole and doesn't know what half the words I say even mean. He doesn't like me and finds fault with everything I do. Err, why am I astonished... I'm just not used to big words being part of the vernacular. It's a good astonished, I assure you."

[.Karma.]

She pondered for a moment what he said. Running it through her head. "I think you're right, Miles." It made her feel good inside. That had been something she had spent many years contemplating and she had never come to an answer. Now this man answers it for her in one night. "Oh, and I was born in 1749. You were close. Am I really greying that bad already?" She smiled and looked at her still perfectly dark red hair. Stuck like it was when she was nineteen.

She smiled at him using the word vernacular. Now who was using big words? "Well when I was turned, I spent a lot of time learning. Something that wasn't considered really necessary for women in my time. Especially women of my station. But something I always wanted to do. I spent years and years just learning as much as I could. Learned to read, and then I read books, poetry, everything! Learned different languages. Longer words just became more natural I guess? I even went to college several times." She laughed looking up into the sky.

"Miles, what time is it?" She wasn't sure how long until dawn. What time was it when she ate? How long did she walk before she saw Miles? How long had they been talking. She had lost track of time which was not good for vampires.

[Ashen]

Miles made a mental note of the year Victoria was born. He was pitiful at math. He had never really taken a liking to numbers. His forte had always been words. He could not do the quick math in his head to find out how old she was, so he would remember the year and find a calculator later. He didn't let any of this show and just shook his head. "You do not look a day over twenty," he said to her. "Not a single grey hair. Not that I can see. But I mean, dogs are color blind, aren't they? So who knows? Maybe your entire head is grey." He stuck out his tongue a little, a childish gesture that he had never quite grown out of.

He got a little excited as Victoria explained her early days. She learned to read and she learned different languages... Reading. Reading was most of what Miles did. "I, too, have taught myself many things," he told her. "I taught myself a language, and I taught myself to read every book Beck has. And trust me, he has plenty! He even has one book in Chinese. I... I can read it, but I can't understand a word of it. I just know how the characters are pronounced. I really love reading, especially poetry. If you have a poet, I can probably recite one of their poems. Especially a German poet, they are my absolute favorite..." His voice trailed and once more he had to stop himself. "Rambling about poetry now, honestly Miles," he scolded himself, shaking his head. "I sound like such a nerd to you, don't I?" But he was smiling as he said it.

When she asked for the time, he looked up and stared at the sky. Like any creature that lived away from society, he could tell the time of day by looking at the sun. The sun, however, had already set, and Miles was clueless. "I can't say that I know," he admitted. His eyes grew wide for a moment with a realization. "Oh, is it eight? Beck is going to kill me today. I ruined those bills..." He was mumbling more to himself than her. He seemed to decide something, then shrugged. "Oh, what the hell. They can kill me later. Did you have somewhere to go?"

[.Karma.]

She laughed. "Oh you got jokes, huh?" She pushed him gently a soft smile on her face. He stuck his tongue out and she reached out to grab it, missing on purpose as they walked along.

Poetry and books some of her favorite things. Along with science and psychology. In her years she would honestly just like to know as much as her mind could possible hold. "I don't know Chinese, that's not one of the ones I've learned, but if you give me another 10 years or so, I'll go to China, learn the language and come back and read it to you?" She moved her hair out of her eyes and gazed at him thoroughly. She was always taught all dogs were imbeciles.

How could he think that she would presume he was anything more than brilliant. Nerd is more of a derogatory term and she loved it that he was well read. So instead of giving an answer she stopped and looked at him.

" Es war, als hätt' der Himmel
Die Erde still geküsst
Dass sie im Blütenschimmer
Von ihm nun träumen müsst

Die Luft ging durch die Felder
Die Ähren wogten sacht
Es rauschten leis die Wälder
So sternklar war die Nacht

Und meine Seele spannte
Weit ihre Flügel aus
Flog durch die stillen Lande
Als flöge sie nach Haus"

She smiled and kept on walking then, saying nothing, hoping that it made him understand that she did not think him a nerd at all, but more of a gift.

Victoria looked to the sky with him, she wanted this night not to end. "I never have anywhere to go specifically, but I do burst into flames if the sun hits me and I'd prefer to avoid that at least for today." There had been times when she had thought otherwise. When she was just a young vampire she once tried to stand out in the sun, it was after her first kill. She didn't have the perseverance or the stamina, or really the bravery to stay long. Her maker had laughed at her for not having the balls to finish the job.

[Ashen]

Miles had to study the vampire's face to figure out if she was serious about reading to him. Mortal enemies enjoying a book together, and a book in Chinese at that. Ten years... Miles wasn't expected to live for another ten years. He had about half of that left, if all Beck had told him was true. That was why he didn't put too much faith in the proposal, but something else came to mind. He hesitated before suggesting it. "Maybe we can go to China together sometime," he said quietly, almost as if he didn't want her to hear. He wasn't supposed to be vacationing with the enemy, but... he wasn't all that opposed.

When she started speaking nonsense, Miles tilted his head and tried to listen more closely. It took him only a second to realize she was speaking German, and only another second to realize she was reciting... no. She couldn't be.
"Night of the Moon?" Miles breathed. "Victoria, are you reciting Mondnacht? The poem by Joseph Freiherr von Eichendorff?" He bore a look of total bewilderment. For anyone in America to even speak German excited him. But she knew a famous German poem? She knew Mondnacht of all things? He could not contain himself. A sound errupted from him, something like an excited squeal. He grabbed her hands and was nearly bouncing on the balls of his feet. "YouknowGermanpoetrythisisunbelievable," he said, so quick it all sounded like one big word. He released his grip on her hands and took a step away in an effort to contain himself. It failed. "You don't... I... Never in my seventeen years have I ever met someone who knew of that poem, let alone could recite it, and in such flawless German! Beckett doesn't even read it as pretty as you, and German is his native tongue! German poetry and prose is my favorite thing in the world. It was all I had when I was trapped in the house during the first few years. I don't... I can't... Victoria, you're... you're perfect, you're fehlerfrei*." In that moment, Miles saw past the age difference. He saw past her pale skin, her dark makeup, her fangs. In that moment, Miles fell in love with her.

He cleared his throat. "It's not late enough yet," he told her. "I don't think you'll have to worry about roasted vampire for a few hours yet."

*fehlerfrei - German, flawless