(I've Based my work on this:
The Rendezvous Storyboard Animatic)
I have passed through this door so many times before, just to see you. You only appear in my dreams, when I escape my horrible reality; My abusive self focused family, the lame social life, the horrible school experiences.
You are there, calm, willing, wanting. My whole world, in a meadow of nowhere and everywhere. Just us two, in a fragrant pillow of flowers.
How often have we go through this cycle? you always show me the way back to the door and it's so bitter sweet. I can't wait for the next time we meet.
***
Ever since I found you, my sweet drug of freedom, many moons of happiness passed by me. I am lately unable to rest. The stress of life and growing, and the increasing pressure and horrible experiences making me restless.
I am often thinking what is wrong with me, and can't bring myself to adjust. Even if I try a little I am pushed back. Your lovely image, my prince, has almost cleared itself from my mind. I don't wish for it, my drug, my tranquility... help me find the door to you...
***
There, through the door I am here, in our field. It took forever to finally rest easy. So much stress, so much to bear and endure. You don't ask. Maybe because you know? Maybe because you don't really care? Maybe you just want us to spend the time we have together by sharing good and honest memories, rejoicing with the fun and easiness, forgetting the horrible pain that is bound with the mortal world.
It's hard to live, you know. It's hard to reach so high and be above it all. Maybe that is why it's so hard to find peace...
I have overworked myself in everything to reach high ground and be so exhausted -- so I could just collapse the moment I reach my bed. Open the door for me, do not make me work so hard to get to you... to that happiness... to the pure memories and safety...
Why is it so hard to live?
***
I've... begun using a more... radical means to get here. My legs barely carries me to the door, but it's so easy to pass into it once you find the way.
I've hurt myself not once... just so it will be easier to sleep... to reach you... to reach here...
Often I wonder if you are the reason I find this world so much better. I think it is, because you mean the world to me... so this world is so much part of you as it is me...
Once again, you don't ask. Just accept me the way I am...
I only wish the others were the same...
Why is it so hard to live?
***
I think... I think something about you grow sadder each time I come here... as if... as if you know that I'm using indecent methods... or maybe... maybe you don't want me here? Are you like... all the others...
Are you judging me?
***
Maybe because the way I acted... or maybe because it was too often... I've been found out... They taken all my means to reach my world.
To reach you...
Oh my prince of dreams, if you only knew.
They make sure I breathe, sleep, eat...
Why does it matter to them now?
They were unbothered now... I was passing by them as if I was air, my cries never reached them. You were my escape, my freedom, but now, in a new twisted and scary way they have bound me once again, abusively forcing me to their ways... even my small escape is now a thing to look down upon.
Why are they acting like this of all a sudden? Because people know? Because it was brought up to them by others?
Why my cries were never heeded?
Why only the opinions of others mattered?
Why my suffering not good enough to be heard...
And their ways... They never talk... They never try to talk...
They are shackling me... bounding me to machines and strangers that do the work for them. I've tried to escape... so many times...
I've tried to reach your world my prince... our world... my world... so many times...
Why is it so hard to live?
***
Why are you crying my prince?
Yes... yes, this is the door... the door you always walk me back through when the dreams end. Aren't you happy? I finally did it! I finally reached beyond. We can be happy... together... in our world just the two of us, in happiness...
You make me look around and for the first time I'm... dreadful.... and scared... of this world...
I watch my door back to my... other world... shatters and breaks...
Have I overdosed?.... Cut too deep? Drank too much?
Stop with the worried face, I slam on your chest, be happy, I am here, you are here... no more goodbyes, no more cruel world.
You kiss me. For the first time. Honest... loving kiss... I can feel you are sorry... worried... loving... but also... cold...
So cold...
Why are you cold?
Your visage and my garden washes away as the last trail back is gone. No more door. Only you...
And you are... not a prince... but death...
Cold, crying death, unwilling to accept me as a soul to be planted in this garden. You never wanted me here because you wanted more for me, knowing that we will meet eventually.
Tell me... are they crying for me... in my other world? Are they missing me? Are they smarter? Do they even care? Do they want to listen to me now?
Death... twisted... cold... and loving... like a grave... I don't mind... I wanted this after all... warm and accepting... a womb to be reborn... with a meadow of nowhere and everywhere.
You are not as pretty as I thought you are... but you are not rejecting me anymore are you... death... Eternal prince of dreams...
I kinda... wish... to live....
If only I could live...
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