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| The Darkest Hour; Don't look under your bed. | |
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| Topic Started: 10 Oct 2008, 03:43 AM (223 Views) | |
| Persephone | 10 Oct 2008, 03:43 AM Post #1 |
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After looking through some random crud, I found this! Now, this was originally an old story that turned into an Rp found in RPGC somewhere. I dunno if I should complete this since, like many things, I don't finish. Now, after reading this - should I make the effort? The first half of this prologue is like a script since it was done when I wanted to help do voice overs for an anime thingy (lulz), the second half goes into the story. Help me decide whether or not I should give this another go! Mind you, it's long! Please vote and comment if you do read this. :s I need to know!!! Searching... ... ... ... Audio/Visual File found... Downloading file... ... ... ... ... ... Download complete A complete picture fills the screen. A young woman sits on a sofa facing a man with an odd shadow at his shoulders. The man wears chains around his wrists and ankles while wearing a spiked collar. The interviewer looks uncomfortable; the man is as still as a statue. Interviewer: So... lets start where we left off a week ago, shall we Caleb? The man, Caleb, only nods. Interviewer: You've told the other doctors you're being hunted. Why is that? Caleb: ...They know. Interviewer: Know what? Does it have something to do with your sister's death? Caleb: I can't say. Interviewer: Why? No one else will know of this. Just say what you have to say. Caleb: I'm not that stupid or insane. You're recording this. Interviewer: Yes, but only to help understand you more. Caleb... answer the question. Caleb: I can't. Interviewer: You can't or you won't? Caleb: Both, but I can hint. Interviewer: Does it have anything to do with *skims through papers on the clipboard* Jillian? There is a noted stiffness to the subject's body. His fists clench, and for a brief moment you can see the face beneath the great amount of thick, unkempt hair. Handsome and dangerous. His eyes hold a coldness that doesn't thaw. Interviewer: So, it does have to do with this Jillian. Who was she to you? Silence ensues. It becomes tense, more drawn out than it should be. Caleb looks as if he is trying to control whatever emotions that threaten to overcome him. Suddenly, he regains that calmness and speaks. Caleb: Have you ever heard of the Grimm's' tale, Beauty and the Beast? The woman is a bit surprised by this question. It is the first time Caleb has initiated a conversation. Interviewer: My daughter loves the Disney version. Caleb: *snorts* Figures. Interviewer: Is it significant to you? Caleb: Lets just say for shits and giggles that I'm quite beastly. Jillian was an angel. Interviewer: So you two were... lovers? Caleb: Were? No. Are? Yes. You look surprised. Didn't think someone could love this basket case, huh? Interviewer: No, it isn't that. In the records, Jillian is stated to be dead. Her body was found half a year ago, around the time of your sister's death. Why we are here now, as you know. Caleb: Sometimes, you have to look at a different angle to get the real view. Interviewer: What are you saying Caleb? Caleb: Does your daughter like Sleeping Beauty too? Or... Snow White? How about the story Rapunzel? Interviewer: Erm... yes, yes she does. Why? Caleb: I don't suppose you tell her the stories of the Boogeyman too? Interviewer: Caleb, lets stay on topic shall we? Caleb: This is on topic. Does your daughter believe in the Boogeyman? Interviewer: Well, yes, but it's just a phase as all children go through. Caleb chuckles gently and leans back in his seat. The chains rattle and the dark shadow at his shoulder seems to expand slightly. Caleb: Sometimes, you have to look at a different angle to get the real view. Interviewer: You already said that. What do you mean, Caleb? What does that have to do with this session, your sister or Jillian for that matter? Another long pause, but it isn't tense. Caleb seems thoughtful, though his face is unseen. His posture is that of contemplation. Caleb: Every tale has some truth to it; it's just how you want to look at it that makes the difference. Interviewer: ...Are you saying you didn't kill them? Caleb nods; a small smile is hidden behind his locks. Interviewer: You mean something else as well? Caleb: You're smarter than the other doctors. I can't say anything, but I can hint to everything. You just have to put the pieces together and believe the end product you come up with. That, I know you can do. The woman seems more relaxed now. She returns the smile and continues skimming through the papers. Interviewer: Who is hunting you? Caleb: I told you I can't say, but I can hint. The things that go bump in the night. Interviewer: The boogeyman? Caleb: In a sense. Interviewer: Back to what you meant about the tales. What else is there? Caleb: As I said, every tale has its truth, whether it be all truth or semi-truth. So think of what I said earlier again. You have to look at a different angle to get the real view. There is a moment's pause before the woman stops to look at the patient again. Her brow is furrowed, possibly in disbelief. Interviewer: Those fairy tales are true? Every one of them? Caleb: Did I mention you're smarter than the other doctors? None of them wanted to believe me; of course, I am the one in chains so that does pose a problem for trustworthiness. Interviewer: I don't think I should believe this. Caleb: You're the doctor, and you've been with me for a month. Figure it out. Interviewer: Okay, so lets say if these tales were real. The people based on them lived a long time ago. If you're "The Beast" as you say - Caleb: Hinted. Interviewer: - hinted you are. You'd be dead already... Caleb: Getting warmer. Interviewer: And Jillian is dead... Caleb: Even warmer. Interviewer: But you two are still lovers even after death unless she wasn't actually dead... Caleb: You're hot. Interviewer: And you said she was an - The doctor stops before she finishes the statement. It is so beyond reality that she can't say it; however, Caleb grins happily. Caleb: And the lady is on fire. Interviewer: Jillian is literally an angel? Caleb: Ding-ding-ding, we have a winner! Why didn't I talk to you sooner? It would have saved me months of tedious "Yes" and "No" questions. *Leans forward with an impish smile.* Since you figured that one out, what does that make me? Interviewer: *Quite shaken* ...a... a... Caleb: Are we playing hangman? Let me help you out. You can buy two vowels. Interviewer: A... d-d-d... Caleb: 'D' is not a vowel. That's a consonant. Didn't you learn that in school? Damn, has the academic level of this generation really hit a new low? Interviewer: My intelligence is just fine, thank you. I'm more worried about my own sanity now. Caleb: Don't worry about sanity, Doc. It's actually what's keeping you from realizing the truth. You still need to answer my question. Interviewer: I can't believe I'm actually considering this. You're a demon? Caleb: *Another wicked grin.* Beastly, hm? Interviewer: So, a demon being hunted by the boogeyman? That sounds very far fetched. Caleb: It's an adventure; what can I say? Interviewer: That still doesn't explain Jillian or your sister's body. How can anyone... are you okay? Interference. Static. The video suddenly goes pitch black. After a moment, screaming and the sound of tearing flesh occurs. Caleb's voice is calm and mocking. Caleb: I was wondering how long it would be until you found me. The voice that responds is guttural, deep, and multitoned. Voice: A debt must be paid. Caleb: I know. Jillian is still paying it because of you and Clara. Voice: They sleep. We feast and live. That is the debt, and now you must pay it too, Warden. Caleb: Once the higher ups find you all, you're dead. Then you'll have to deal with Perrin, and we both know how she handles things. Voice: Oh, I am counting on it. Caleb: Since we got that cleared. Get on with it. The voice chuckles maliciously. Voice: With pleasure. WARNING WARNING WARNING FILE CORRUPT DELETE ... ... ... ... Download deleted  Adults tell children stories about the boogeyman, and how if they don’t do what they’re told he will come and get them, eat them, or whatever sounds more gruesome at the time. Though I have nothing against fair discipline, many parents really don’t know what they’re talking about today… nor do they think what they say could actually be real. For instance, lets say said adults tell their children the same thing, the child still doesn’t obey, and then at night poor little Billy or Timmy is swept off by said Boogeyman and eaten for dinner - what then? Will the parents mourn their child? Will they forever loathe themselves for saying something so terrible that it came true? Or here’s a thought, will they just push the blame on something else, like a neighborhood thief or kidnapper on parole? Mainly, if you guessed, would be the latter - for no one would like to think it was their fault because, seriously, who would believe such stories were real? So that’s where we come in. I am, among others, called a Warden or Ward; whatever suits you best. My job is to make sure these “tales” stay tales and out of human eyes. So your boogeyman bluff can stay as it is, a bluff. And the real thing can be locked in our little parallel cell in the ‘E.V.’ where all the other things that go bump in the night are. Simply put, any paranormal activity - we take care of it. You have a ghost or residual problem, give us a ring - or we’ll just know. If there seems to be something wrong with a friend who is possibly possessed, we have a Priest and an Exorcist right on the line for you. It’s our job to know every little thing that goes on in this world, and when I mean everything… I mean everything. No, we’re not gods. Far from it… though we do have a secretary at the desk who’s a demi, but that’s beside the point. The point is who can do a job with the paranormal better than people of the supernatural themselves? Does that bother you? Don’t worry; we don’t bite - though I can’t be too sure about the few resident vamps lurking about. Lazy bums. Well, as I was saying, as Wardens we protect you all from the nightmares of the other world. We don’t live among you, though some of us do like to stay close to the humans. You all do seem to have a knack for trouble. Our world is like your world, just really, really, really… dark. A constant night made for the people around here - which is why those monsters can’t go into your daylight. We die or lose our power for a time. That is your savior. The sun. So don’t take advantage of the day. When dusk arrives. Hide. Don’t look into any shadowed corners outside of your home. Don’t go playing Bloody Mary in front of the mirror. Don’t look into your closet in the middle of the night just because you heard something. Don’t be wandering the streets. And don’t, I repeat, DON’T look under your bed. Once you’re in their hands, in their element… we won’t be able to save you no matter how much power we have. You follow those rules, you’ll live. You don’t… well; we can’t save everyone from the Boogeyman. So why am I still here, talking to you all now? Well, there has been a little… problem… concerning the E.V. Apparently someone let some of the ‘darker’ monsters out, and they so happen to be the ones that cause the most damage. Rogue Vampires, Poltergeists, rogue Werewolves, Succubae and Incubi, the demons, the children eaters, the soul eaters, the crazed zombies (who are more annoying than hard to detain), and other baddies that would be on our classified list, are all in your world… again. We have dispatched our best Wardens for the job, including me, but there is one teensy-weensy problem. They walk in the daylight. We can’t. Though we still don’t know how in the world they accomplished that; we are still investigating the issue. So, what we ask of you all, or the few of you who know of us - take heed and be careful. You who know will see this now, in a mirror or a puddle of water, or anywhere where your reflection may be seen. We can’t protect you during the day. Even the ones who live in your world to watch over you. We are rendered powerless when the sun is up, so you must, must learn to fend for yourselves, at least until the night arrives. Until we can find who is behind all of this, and the sun is down, we will protect you all, but for now… your life is in your own hands. Follow the rules. Be prepared. And NEVER go into the darkness alone outside. That is all. … Good luck. Edited by Persephone, 19 Oct 2008, 03:01 AM.
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| musezone | 14 Oct 2008, 05:39 AM Post #2 |
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!!!! I love it. I really think you should continue. If you do, you should keep writing it in script form. (Maybe with some monologues in between to clarify emotions and thoughts of the main character, like you've done.) It makes things so much more...cinematic. I see it in my head like a movie. The dialogue is intense and hooks me instantly. The only thing I'd be careful about is clearing up any confusion the reader might have. I'm sure you'll slowly reveal more and more as the story goes on, but I thought I'd point it out. Keep writing! Please! |
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| Persephone | 15 Oct 2008, 02:52 AM Post #3 |
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Oh thank you! I was actually contemplating doing just that.  I already have a few monologues down, but I dunno. If anything, if this turns into a real script, it might just end up being used as an audio roleplay. I have no idea. o.o Or an audio story for giggles. Be pretteh cool auditioning people for that sort of thing, but I digress.Thank you again!  Don't hesitate to comment and give me some constructive criticism. I wish to leeearn! ^.^ Edited by Persephone, 15 Oct 2008, 02:55 AM.
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| Persephone | 20 Oct 2008, 10:36 AM Post #4 |
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So, I thought reeeeeally hard about it, and I have come to the decision of making this in script form. Now, I'm doing this for fun so hopefully you all enjoy it. You can find a partner and make the characters your own! Instead of chapters, these are scenes. There will also be a list of characters edited in for future reference, not now, of course. Setting and such will also be given before the scene starts; sometimes I'll even add music clips to scenes (Why? Because I'm playing this in my head so listen while reading the scenes XD), but a forewarning, some of the songs are on a screamo side, not all, but some. If this turns out all right, I might even make this into some kind of voice over thing as it was originally intended for. With that said, I give you Scene 1 of The Darkest Hour. It's reeeeally short, but that's the point. It's supposed to match the time span of the song, or at least how I read it. -shrug- SCENE ONE The Day of Night The world is blue and deep. There is a faint light ahead: the moon, but it seems to ripple as if a wall of liquid is in front of it. There is nothing to hold on to. Nothing in sight except the vast shades and tones of moving blue. Water. The world was water. The young man within the waves falls deeper, hands extended. He looks almost peaceful, tranquil. Narrator: I never thought I'd die with so many things unfinished. I never thought that I'd regret so much when I came to the end of the road. There was so much to this world that I didn't see... A young woman is in front of the man. Her eyes are open like the other person's, but they are a striking blue that glows within the darkness of the deep. Her face is calm like his. There is also a smile there. Happy. Content. Narrator: I would've lived normally if it wasn't for her, but even now... I don't think I regret it as much as I should. The world I thought was real was gone when I first laid eyes on her, and I knew, even if I denied it back then, that this was meant to be. Everything I knew. Everything that I had calculated to the nearest percentage, was no more because of her. The woman leans forward and kisses the young man gently. His eyes close as he awaits for the final good-bye. Narrator: This world... this place... I don't think I'll ever forget it... The two sink deeper into the waters, holding each other tightly. They don't let go. Narrator: ...especially her. Edited by Persephone, 20 Oct 2008, 10:43 AM.
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| Gabriel Zero | 1 Jan 2009, 04:03 AM Post #5 |
 
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 more ? |
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