I have an issue

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I have an issue; I would like outside opinions
Topic Started: 19 Nov 2008, 07:04 PM (102 Views)
Anne Bonny	19 Nov 2008, 07:04 PM Post #1
The Pink Lady Posts: 3,964 Group: Administrators Member #637 Joined: 5 March 2008 Favorite theme: RPA 2: Standard	So, I was talking with my husband the other day because we were updating our health insurance and all that. He gets life insurance through his work, and he told me (after having worked there almost a year now) that I'm not the beneficiary on it. Our little nephew is. Ok, so I'm trying to process this. Yes, we both make about the same amount, so I'm not reliant on him to survive or anything like that. I understand the purpose of life insurance is to make sure the beneficiary can keep up their standards of living and all that if something happens to the person being covered by the insurance. But we certainly don't support my nephew, either. He's got two parents with good jobs. So... I don't know. I'm actually really offended. But at the same time, am I being selfish here? I mean, I know my hubby thinks the world of my nephew, and if something happened to my guy his dying with would probably be to be able to put my nephew through college or soemthing like that. But... shouldn't I be taken care of too? But, I guess I can take care of myself just fine, but it would be nice to know that during a period of mourning or whatever I wouldn't have to worry about the financials and my hubby would be providing for me. Outside thoughts please! This has just been preying on my mind lately.



Heraldic-Angel	19 Nov 2008, 07:37 PM Post #2
Addict Posts: 566 Group: Members Member #1,543 Joined: 17 October 2008	I think you have in a sense answered this for yourself considering this thread name. "I have an issue." It is not wrong or selfish to want to yourself to be taken care of also. That's part of what marriage is about... you take care of each other and any children you might have as a result.



Ladie Luck	19 Nov 2008, 07:42 PM Post #3
Veteran Posts: 2,051 Group: Members Member #375 Joined: 26 October 2007 Country: United States of America Gender: Female	I defintely think you need to talk to him about. You can't let it eat away at you in the back of your mind. That's not good for you! I'm sure he has his reasons. Maybe they're good, or maybe they're exactly what you are assuming they are. He might have some other explanation that will help you understand why he made the decision. I'm sure he didn't expect you to be bothered by it, least of all offened in any way. I think you need to speak up and talk it out. It's good to vent to us but he's the one that needs to know you're feelings. I would be jealous too, very jealous so at least you're handling it fairly well already.



Rippuvan	19 Nov 2008, 07:45 PM Post #4
Mary Read, The Pink Pirate Posts: 2,790 Group: Global Moderators Member #1,420 Joined: 3 September 2008 Country: Netherlands Gender: Female	I think he should've talked it through with you, before making your nephew the beneficiary. Other than that, I can understand why you're upset about it. I would be, too... But yes, talk to him about it, let him know how you feel and let him explain why.



Anne Bonny	20 Nov 2008, 05:24 AM Post #5
The Pink Lady Posts: 3,964 Group: Administrators Member #637 Joined: 5 March 2008 Favorite theme: RPA 2: Standard	Well, we're not really planning on having kids, at least for now. So it would just be me. Do you think that should be taken into account? Like, my nephew would have more use for the money growning up and being a young adult? Of course, I'm not hoping for my hubby to kick the bucket, whether I get paid or not. Just wanted to say that too!



Raccoon	20 Nov 2008, 06:21 AM Post #6
Member Posts: 45 Group: Members Member #1,647 Joined: 18 November 2008	Forgive me for stepping in if I am too much of a newb, but I must say that I cannot blame you for being confused. Isn't there a way where he can split the benefits between you and the nephew?



Anne Bonny	21 Nov 2008, 05:51 AM Post #7
The Pink Lady Posts: 3,964 Group: Administrators Member #637 Joined: 5 March 2008 Favorite theme: RPA 2: Standard	Hm. I don't know. But that would be worth looking into. Wow, Racoon! You're smart!



Rippuvan	21 Nov 2008, 11:58 AM Post #8
Mary Read, The Pink Pirate Posts: 2,790 Group: Global Moderators Member #1,420 Joined: 3 September 2008 Country: Netherlands Gender: Female	Anne Bonny 20 Nov 2008, 05:24 AM Well, we're not really planning on having kids, at least for now. So it would just be me. Do you think that should be taken into account? Like, my nephew would have more use for the money growning up and being a young adult? Of course, I'm not hoping for my hubby to kick the bucket, whether I get paid or not. Just wanted to say that too! Hm. It could be that that's why he made your nephew the beneficiary? But still, he should have discussed it with you aforehand, you are his wife after all.



That Guy	21 Nov 2008, 02:14 PM Post #9
Roleplaying Saint Posts: 3,701 Group: Members Member #1,191 Joined: 20 July 2008 Country: United States of America	Your nephew..? That makes little sense to me. I honestly don't know why he would have picked your nephew over you... I might have found that a bit offensive myself. But either way, you've gotta talk to him about it. Letting it pick away at your mind isn't good for your health. Trust me, I know.



Nuviev	21 Nov 2008, 03:46 PM Post #10
Regular Posts: 407 Group: Members Member #1,541 Joined: 15 October 2008 Country: United Kingdom	I would echo having a chat in that regard. It might be because he sees you as generally being "okay" financially that you wouldn't need it. It's difficult in this day and age for people to be quite certain where the social boundaries are, when it's "okay" to be chivalrous and when it isn't. I've had many a male friend tell me they're never certain whether or no they should even open a door for a woman anymore. Maybe your spouse sees you as just such an independent woman, and thought if he put you on, it would imply that you aren't capable of taking care of yourself. Honestly, I don't know as I'm not there peering into your personal life, but what it DOES mean is somewhere there's some communication issues that need to be discussed, which might cover more than whose name is on the insurance. Good luck. Edited by Nuviev, 21 Nov 2008, 03:46 PM.



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