The Stoner's Guide to the Real World. Chapter 2.

[Crypes]

[A pack or Marlboro Reds later, I got off my ass and decided to get things started.]

After escaping the party, the stoners were left with a choice. Come along, or go back to life as normal. Ahahaha! Like you couldn't fucking guess which one they picked!

The stoner's van sped down the highway out of state, the original crew acting like they'd done this shit a hundred times while the newbies did their tripping out. Behind the bus there was nothing but civilian cars. No one following them, no one apparently caring about the massacre that had occurred several hours ago. Nash had patched Axel up pretty damn well for what he had, and Crypes was spacing out. Obvious enough anyways. He was driving with his feet and smoking off a cigarette that gave off blue smoke. Every once in a while, the bus would swerve, scaring the living shit out of the motorists nearby. The people inside didn't notice of course. The Van was built too well for that.

Flicking the spent cigarette butt out the window, Crypes hit the autopilot and walked into the living room. "So, how are we all doing on this fine runaway day?" He said, taking out his pack of cigs and offering them around. The one he pulled out had a red ring around the filter, and unsurprisingly let out red smoke after he lit it. Nash winced and passed, continuing the game of Gears of War 2 he had going.

[The Gypsy Queen]

Hand still shaking, Ceri reached and took the cigarette Crypes offered, putting it between her lips and waiting for Bob to light it, as he inevitably would.

She'd barely slept but for her random passing out from sheer exhaustion, and hadn't moved from Bob's side since she'd tended to Axel's shoulder, an experience that still twinged in her mind... experiencing someone else's pain was not fun.

She didn't know what to say, or what to think. Her mind was reeling. She could feel the relative calmness around her, but it only made her panic more. She couldn't go home. She couldn't risk those feds getting anywhere near her mother, given her mother's... history. But she didn't want to give up her life for this... to become some kind of outlaw. She had school. Classes. Her mother would be worried. She didn't want any of this.

Finally, she leaned her shoulder to Bob's, hoping to draw some kind of stability or reassurance from him, one of the last familiar things in her life. Eyes closed, she let the sensations, the emotions, roll over her, feeling everyone on the bus out carefully, learning their ebb and flow.

She didn't answer Crypes, keeping her eyes closed and leaning against Bob, waiting still for him to light the cigarette between her lips.

[Mad-Madam-Mimm]

"Nah, thanks." Billie mumbled, her gaze customarily at everyones' feet. "M'trying to cut down." She looked over, seeing the empath... what was her name? It had been shouted at her briefly during the panic... Cherry? Sherry? "Hey... Ceri. You like cream soda?" she smiled, reaching in her backpack, taking out an old coke bottle with the label ripped off. It held a creamy, fizzy liquid. "It'll calm you down. It's all legit, I swear." She managed to meet her eyes, and flashed a happy, concerned smile. She knew what having your life turned upside down like this was like. Hell, she'd had so many flips in hers, she wasn't entirely surprised she sometimes had trouble finding the floor. "To be, or not to be-that is the question..." she muttered, seemingly oblivious as she continued to rummage in her bag and pulling out a sketchbook and a tin of pencils.

"Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune... Or to take arms against a sea of troubles and, by opposing, end them... Crypes." She looked up as the pecil tin opened with a clatter. "Where we headed?"

[John]

Barry laid on a couch inside the bus. He was reading one of the comic books he had retrieved from the shop before they hit the road. It was the only thing he asked for, other than being allowed to come along. He had grabbed his rarest comics, along with all the money he had in the safe. Combined with the money he had gotten for selling the module to Crypes and Nash, it seemed he would be okay for a while.

The thought of travelling with people wanted by the feds didn’t phase him in the leats. He was far too stoned most of the time to care. The only things Barry was concerned about at this point in time, were being stoned, the safety of his new friends, and if he should get up and make himself another White Russian. Something that would be a little difficult at the moment for Barry had finished off the bottle of Kahlua he had bought.

There was also his power which he practiced with as much as possible. At one point, he actually stuck his hand and head through the wall of the bus and smiled and waved at a few of the cars. The sight of Barry doing this nearly caused an accident, and he promptly stopped.

Now Crypes was offering up smokes to the group and Barry was not one to say no. For the last two days he didn’t say much of anything as he was unable to stop ending every sentence with “man”. he wasn’t trying to do it, it just seemed to happen without him even realizing it. Barry took the cigarette and nodded his head at Crypes.

“Thanks man.” Barry’s eyes were half closed and he winced slightly when he said the word. “Can we stop for supplies man? I need more Kahlua man.” Barry paused for a moment and smiled at Billie. He had the utmost respect for Billie for the way he had been treated by her. Hell, if not for her, he would most likely would have been arrested or worse.

“And Billie asks a good question man. Where are we going man?”

[Pope Jako III]

Bob took out his Zippo, flicked it open and lit the flame he reached down and lit the cigarette between Ceri’s lips. Bob was not really concerned with what was going on as far as he was concerned this whole comic book, super stoner hero shit could suck his massive black Jamaican dick. But Ceri was here and wherever she went he went it was just that simple. Besides he liked these guys, he knew Barry from the comic book store already, good guy really, and Crypes seemed to know more about what was going on than anyone else, plus that Nash guy had actually fixed his watch, which was as close to impossible as it got! With of course the exception of flying, walking through walls, controlling fire, metal, and wind. Okay so not really all that impossible but still bloody difficult.

[The Gypsy Queen]

Ceri inhaled slowly, turning her head to rub her cheek against Bob's shoulder appreciatively. She took the cream soda Billie offered her, smiling tiredly at the other woman.

" To die, to sleep - no more - and by a sleep to say we end the heartache and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to - 'tis a consummation devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep..." she closed her eyes, head rolling lazily on Bob's shoulder. " Does it ever stop?" she opened her eyes to look at Billie quietly, inhaling the sweet smoke and blowing it out through her nose. " Does it ever stop? I can feel... everything. It's all in my head... I'm so tired." She didn't finish.

So tired but so afraid to sleep.

She pulled the cigarette from her lips, holding it between her index and middle fingers as she offered it to Bob, feeling the emotions roll over her from everyone on the bus. Her eyes closed again, eyebrows scrunched as she fought to keep the waves at bay.

[Pope Jako III]

“Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, Creeps in this petty pace from day to day, To the last syllable of recorded time; and all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow.” Replied Bob as he blew out the smoke before offering the cig back to Ceri. he didn’t have a real way to help but he could substitute he steeled himself and let waves of calmness, strength, and happiness come off him hoping the brand-new empathy would catch them.

[Mad-Madam-Mimm]

Billie flushed a little as Bob and Ceri started quoting Shakespeare back at her. She had to stop doing that unintentionally, it made her seem weird... weirder, anyway. she coughed into the back of her hand.
"It won't... stop. I don't think so, anyway. You'll be able to control it better the more you smoke. Of course, if you don't smoke for ages it kinda dims out too. Your first trip is always dodgy though, so I wouldn't worry too much. You just gotta get used to it."

She looked up from her sketchpad suddenly, flushing bright red. She smiled awkwardly up at Crypes. "Or... so I've heard. Right Crypes?"
She coughed again and pulled her plaid shirt tighter around her. Goddamit, she had to keep herself in check. She was acting like someone who knew everything. This was Crypes' bus; he probably wouldn't appreciate her turning up from no where and then declaring herself as good as the book. Her liips trembled and she stuck her eyes back to the page, beginning to sketch. She was still practicing, but she'd found out lately she had something of a natural flair for cartoons and charicatures. She just had to keep it shut, and keep her head down.

[Crypes]

Crypes nodded as he took another drag from his cig. "Yeah, things clear up eventually. Takes a little bit, but everyone gets their bearings in around a month. Uh, give or take." He briefly remembered the time he'd accidentally bent a bus in half as he said this, however. "Eventually...."

"Anyways, we're headed to Nevada for a bit. Get to a safe zone called the Industrial. News line says that a meeting is going on up there, and we should be safe as long as it's going on. The uh, high council is a bit too dangerous for the feds to take on openly. Especially when they're all together."

The alarm from Startrek played at that moment over the bus speakers as Nash giggled over how witty he was. Crypes however, swore under his breath as he walked up to the front of the bus. "Fuck!" he shouted as he looked out the window. Nash was next to the window. "Fuck...." he said.

The next in line to walk up to the window would be one of the newbies, that only saw a herd of cows crossing the suddenly stopped bus. The bus slowly began backing away as one of the cows took notice and began walking over.

[The Gypsy Queen]

Still exhausted, Ceri stayed sitting down, watching Crypes curiously. His ebb and flow had changed, although she could see no noticeable difference with her eyes. But it had.

Through the haze of exhaustion, her ever thinking mind sharpened, zoning in on the shift in emotion. She straightened in her seat, watching Crypes closely, gripping Bob's shoulder to alert him of whatever was happening.

With a shaky breath, she expanded her empathy radius, reaching to feel for some threat that Crypes saw.

" What is it?" she asked in the mean time, eyes still on Crypes. " Something's out there, what is it?"

[Crypes]

"Cow." He and Nash replied. Crypes jumped out the bus door and picked up a rock. The cow, seeing this, began picking up speed. Crypes moved away from the bus as the stupid thing continued to follow him. When the bus was out of harm's reach, Crypes threw the rather large rock to hit the thing on the head. "Moo?"

Crypes covered his head with his arms and was blown ten feet away to land on his ass as the cow detonated with a loud boom. Nash, who was watching the herd had only "Shit!" to say, as all of them turned their heads towards the bus and began walking closer. Nash jumped into the driver's seat immediately stomped on the gas. "Hang on!" Was all he had time to shout before the bus screeched backwards, and then sideways.

Crypes barely had time to dive into the bus before it would've run him over. "Drive motherfucker! Drive!" He shouted. The cows were in full charge by the time the bus had spun around and Nash was shouting "FUUUU!!!!" as the bus tore away, barely ahead of the damn things. Poor guy, he wouldn't be able to look at a hamburger for days....

[John]

Barry sat in silence, listening to the ladies and Bob recite Shakespeare. He found it just helped to add to the surrealism of the situation. Even with Crypes explaining that the hallucinations would fade in a month or so, Barry found that they didn’t really come as frequently. That is to say, although he was hallucinating all the time, the only thing he saw anymore was what appeared to be a small angel with black wings that resembled Amy Lee sitting on Crypes shoulder, whispering lord knows what into his ear. It was the way things went for the most part, and Barry was just happy to be along.

His happiness was interrupted by the sound of Romulans attacking. Reaching for his phaser, Barry jumped to his feet and realized he was still on the bus, though there appeared to be a herd of cows on the road. Crypes went out to investigate when Barry saw something that actually made him laugh out loud. The cow exploded sending Crypes flying through the air. It wasn’t Crypes misfortune that made him laugh, it was the decidedly odd behaviour of the cow; that and the pot seemed to be affecting him slightly.

Nash immediately yelled for them to hang on as he slammed his foot onto the gas pedal. Barry lurched and grabbed a hold of the couch and fell into it from the momentum. Crypes had managed to dive back onto the bus and they sped away. Once the bus was moving normally, though how Nash drove did give a broad definition to the word normal, Barry got back up and moved over to Crypes.

Barry was trying hard not laugh. And the fact that the Amy Lee demon was eating little bits of the cow, which no covered Crypes, did nothing to help. Reaching for a towel, Barry handed it to Crypes and then started to snicker a little.

“I would say don’t have a cow man, but I think that cow had you man.” Barry turned and walked back to the couch, still trying to hold in the laugh.

[Mad-Madam-Mimm]

Billie had been caught off-guard when the bus lurched into action, and swore to herself as all her pencils rolled to the back of the bus, closely followed by her own stumbling form.
"Yark!" She'd yelled. Perhaps not as sentient as Nash, but she was more preoccupied with not smacking straight into the back window. As she grabbed her pencils from the floor and closed them back into the tin, she grumbled and pulled herself up, her button nose pressed against the glass, before her face became a mask of confusion. Staring back at her, with doe eyes and thin black lips, drooling long strands of saliva, was a cow, jigging up and down as it lolloped after the bus.
"Huh...." She mumbled, mentally reprimanding herself for the whole "acting like I know it all" train of thought. She stumbled back up to the top end of the bus, biting her lips. "Nash... is this as fast as we can go? Because they're catching up. And looking very passive agressive right now." She didn't know what she was expecting, but this was the stoner bus. Maybe a turbo boost or an oil slick or crazy glue spurting out teh back? Tansforming into a jet fighter? There woudl have been something, right?

[The Gypsy Queen]

Ceri was physically tossed against Bob's body as the bus suddenly accelerated, but rather than being frightened, she found herself getting mad.

" You have got to be kidding me!"

She was exhausted, helpless to the whim of other people's emotions, barely able to keep her own from flooding out of her, her best friend could call up a tornado, she'd been forced to leave her home and life, and now exploding cows?

It seemed like the ridiculous icing on a incredulous cake. And right about then, she gave up on what she'd been trying to do for days. There was no hope in trying to rationalize her situation. No amount of logic, math, science, or even advanced physics could help her break any of what was happening to her down to a logical sequence. And while it terrified her on one level to be unable to rationalize her life, on another level, it filled her with a resigned peace.

This was it now. Super powers and exploding cows.

Well, at least she wasn't alone.

Bob's body hit the bus wall next to Billie, cushioning Ceri's impact somewhat. She used the opportunity to get her footing back, urgency pumping steadily out of her.

" Billie's right, they're gaining!"

[Crypes]

Crypes took the towel and cracked up when he heard what Barry said. "Heheh, oddly good, dude....Now, lemme think here. What do do about the cows?" he said, blinking when everything suddenly turned green. It was like someone was shining a flood light into the bus. A green flood light. Nash twisted and turned in his seat to get a good look around as everything just stopped. The bus, the cows, everything. Not like, stopped in time. No, more like chilled out. Then all the cows all looked up and started running away from the bus the moment they saw what was up there.

Crypes and Nash started laughing until they saw one of the cows slowly floating up. Their faces turned to looks of horror as the unseen thing in the sky pulled the panicing cow in, "No! Don't do it!" they shouted at the thing reeling the cow in. The cow slowly made it's way above the window before the unmistakable sound of the thing exploding was heard above as the green light went out. Crypes facepalmed, and Nash hit his head against the glass as a flying saucer hit the ground and skidded off the road. "Man, for dudes that can build a spaceship, they aren't all that bright...." Crypes said, shaking his head. "C'mon Nash, let's see if they need a lift."

[John]

Barry watched in silence as the spaceship hit the ground. He didn’t need to say anything, the wild eyed expression on his face said more than words ever could. He looked at Crypes and mouthed the words “What the fuck man”. Barry started to make his way to the front of the bus. He had never seen an alien before(well not a real one) and wanted ot go check it out. Looking at Crypes, he could see the little demonic Amy Lee staring at him and shaking her head.

Barry didn’t know why Amy was shaking her head. For that matter he wondered why, if she was in fact a hallucination, she was wearing clothes. I mean if it was in his imagination, why wasn’t she naked? Barry started to wonder if he might be turning gay and then quickly dismissed the thought as he looked at Billie and Ceri and envisioned them doing things to each other.

It was with the thought of clothes that Barry realized that maybe he should stay put. He suddenly felt like that guy on Star Trek. You know the guy in the red shirt who beams down to the planet with Kirk, Spock and McCoy. The guy whose only line in the episode would be “Captain, I found something” followed by a blood curdling scream. Barry would not be that guy.

Picking up the joint the had dropped when the bus swerved earlier while trying to avoid the cows, he lit it. Taking a long haul, and then finishing his drink, he passed the joint to Bob.

“So, is it just me, or is there no possible way that this could get any weirder man?” Even as Barry asked the question, he knew he would most likely regret it later.

[The Gypsy Queen]

" No."

The word popped out of Ceri's mouth before she actually thought it.

" No, no, no... no-no, no and no." She repeated herself, standing and storming to the back part of the bus. She paced there for a moment, before storming back to the front. "No, you know what? Just no. That isn't possible. I'm not seeing an alien spaceship. It's your freaky-ass pot again!" She took a long drag from the cigarette, blowing the smoke out of her nose.

She crossed her arms, still standing up, glaring at Crypes. " We're not talking to the hallucinations, because talking to hallucinations is not a mentally sound decision." she told him blatantly.

[Mad-Madam-Mimm]

Billie stood in stunned silence as everyone else reacted to the... spaceship (apparently) that had crashed down beside her. Barry seemed to be doing his best to take all of it in his stride (even if it did mean being permanently inebriated somehow), while Ceri was stuck in denial.
"Saying something can't happen, when you've just watched it happening, is incorrect." she mumbled, her tone suggestign she was reciting from something, although it obviously wasn't Shakespeare. She attempted a reassuring smile, before grabbing her pack from the floor. "And if you've done nine impossible things this morning, why not round it off with a breakfast at Milliways?" She stood by Crypes, waiting for him to make a decision. She didn't just read Shakespeare.

[Pope Jako III]

Bob looked at the spaceship that was currently in front of the van. “Ok that’s it I’m done!” “I am done this has gone on long enough man. I refuse, no way, no how, I don’t care if I can control wind, and graves over there can manipulate metal, a man can only take so many mind fucks in one day man.” So until tomorrow morning man, none of you exist, cows don’t explode, and a spaceship didn’t just crash land in front of this nonexistent bus.”

[Crypes]

Crypes sighed. "Bunks are upstairs, so you can crash through the nonhappening pickup of our hitchhikers from another world. C'mon Nash."

They both stepped out of the bus and headed for the wreck. "Yo! Grey dudes! You alive out there?" Nash shouted, holding out a beeping device. "We got two of them alive in there somewhere. Go knock and see if they're awake."

"Fuck that man. You know how they make those things better than I do, and I still know enough not to touch it."

"But the radiation isn't fatal! It wears off in about a day!"

"Well in the meantime, glow crotch is fucking creepy. So knock on the door yourself!"

Nash sighed and chucked a rock at where he thought the door was. And then another rock. And another until they both heard chuckling followed by the stereotypical stoned surfer voice saying, "Dude, the earthling threw a rock. Heheh." Followed by baked sounding laughter. "How goes it earth dudes! We are from a planet far far.....uh....elsewhere."

"No shit, Steve." Crypes said, shaking his head as he turned to look at the short grey alien. "You and Joe pull this crap every year. And you know, I just realized that your names are fucking weird."

"Dude, Frank isn't much better of a name."

Crypes blinked and held a staring contest with the alien for several moments before turning away and walking back to the bus. "C'mon man. We're going to get some breakfast. Or, dinner. Or something. You in?"

The aliens nodded and followed him bus. Joe started a conversation with Nash that continued inside, and Steve took shotgun, waving at a passing car that nearly crashed after seeing an alien. The driver would then go on that night to tell his friends about the craziest flashback he'd ever had. Steve giggled and called the guy a tweaker before turning around and giving the stoners a big "Whazaaaap, earthlings?"

[John]

Barry’s jaw dropped open and his joint fell to the floor as he watched the aliens get on the bus. Crouching down to pick it up, he placed back into his mouth, stood up, and looked back at the aliens. Once again his jaw dropped and the joint hit the floor. Crouching down, he picked it up and this time held onto it.

Staring at the aliens, Barry couldn’t help feeling that he had all of a sudden been placed into an episode of Stargate: SG1. Except that there was no bus in the show. And an absence of marijuana. Not too mention that he wasn’t Daniel Jackson. Despite all this, Barry had the most profound thought, and didn’t keep it silent.

“Wow man!” Okay so it wasn’t that profound, but it was the only thing he could think of to say that wouldn’t make him sound like an idiot. Of course Barry didn’t realize he sounded like an idiot back in chapter one. So in his mind all was well. Not sure of what to do, he extended a hand to the aliens and smiled.

“Um.. I’m like, Barry man.” Shaking the alien’s hand , Barry moved over to Crypes and leaned in close to whisper in his ear. There was one thing that didn’t make sense to him about all this. Well actually, there were a lot of things that didn’t make sense about all this. But this one particular thought screamed in his mind and he needed an answer for this mystery.

“Dude. Why aren’t they wearing any pants?” Not realizing that Barry hadn’t ended his sentence with “man”, thoughts of being anal probed entered his mind. And not in a good way.

[Mad-Madam-Mimm]

Billie raised her eyebrows as she saw the little grey beings enter the bus. Her eyes were wide and her fingers started twitching, possibly because they brought with them a renewed stink of marijuana, making her brain do backflips in between begging and panting. Well, partly that, and partly the whole outer-space thing. But at this point in time, she was really learning to just go with stuff that happened. Pot gives you superpowers, you wake up in utterly bizarre places, you live with an old woman who gives you bottles of cream soda that... anyway, you deal. Caught off guard by this thought, Billie tucked what was left of the cream soda back into her pack, looking around with her usual meek twitch.
"Oh day and night, but this is wondrous strange..." she was whispering, her eyes layered with excitement and fear as she turned to look at the... visitors. "And therefore as a stranger give it welcome. There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy. Um..." she started to snap out of it, waving furtively but not moving any closer. "I'm Billie."

[The Gypsy Queen]

Ceri stood stock still, blinking and clinging to Bob's shoulder, half hiding behind him.

The only part of her brain still functioning was the part that was sensing emotions, and a wave of amused calmness rolled slowly over her, like she was sitting on the beach in front of Bob's family home in Jamaica, letting the waves roll over her gently.

Ceri blinked again, relaxing her fingers as they dug into Bob's shoulders, peeking out from behind him curiously. The rest of her was recovering from shock, and the curious, intelligent part of her was wanting to ask questions, like where, how, when, and why.

But it was the stoner in her that won out eventually. She took a long drag from the cigarette still dangling between her lips and then pulled it away as she blew sweet red smoke out.

" Rock on." was all she said.

She figured she'd snapped and couldn't handle one more weird thing, so she'd just stopped dealing with it all together.

[Pope Jako III]

Bob was looking at the vans newest guests for about 3 minutes before shouting: “wait, wait, wait! Aren’t you guys supposed to be like seven feet tall with green skin, and like killing things?” Ceri shook her head at Bobs statement she almost face palmed when she remembered that Bob was a huge Predator fan. “Or like nine feet long with no eyes, a second mouth and acid blood?” He is also a large Alien fan. “Man everyone knows what aliens look like. They made movies about them for god’s sake!” Bob looked at Ceri who was just rotating between him and the aliens he turned back around before busting up laughing “HAHA hey Ceri could you imagine, Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Predator, an alien, and Sigourney Weaver sharing a joint?”

[Crypes]

(Disclaimer: I don't believe the moon landing was actually faked. I just thought it would be funny as hell if it really went the way the stoners say.)

Steve laughed and let out a long, "Duuuuude. That'd be funny as hell. But you're thinkin' about some other aliens. We're the greys. The fucking Asguard, man. Not the dudes with the stealth or the mouths. We could probably find a few of those dudes if you want. Uh, after the towtruck comes back with our ship." The alien looked around and walked back to the fridge. He pulled out a beer and chugged it in a few seconds. He noticed everyone looking at him and blinked. "Oh, my bad. Anyone else want one?"

Crypes raised a hand and gave a "Yeah" before the beer appeared in his hand. He looked over to Barney and laughed. "You forgot to say 'man, Dude. But they don't wear any pants because it's warmer than you think out in space. You know the moon landing? Faked. When they finally made it up there they were able to walk around in jeans and tee shirts. With scuba tanks of course, but aside from the lack of air it's pretty hospitable up there. The moon suits were just a joke to get other countries wasting their time worrying about pressures and temperatures. Pretty sure some of them are still worrying about that shit."

And back in the corner, Nash and Joe were toying with a strange rod that made sparks and a ray gun. Just because.

[The Gypsy Queen]

Quietly, Ceri stepped to the bar, poured two shots of Crown, handed one to Bob, and cannonballed the other herself. The burn of alcohol searing down her throat snapped her out of her reverie.

Somewhere in her head, she was sputtering about space, vacuums and lack of atmosphere, but she didn't argue. She was beginning to learn that her logic had no place in her new life.

But empathy did.

Far be it from her to ignore a new tool in her arsenal, one she was beginning to see as beneficial, if not immensely annoying. Her first task was to feel out Crypes, whose ebb and flow hadn't changed. He was amused... which was more than he was thirty minutes ago. She didn't bother with the other Stoners. With the possible exception of Nash, they had no idea what was going on. Instead, she went to work on the aliens, slowly and subtly.

It was like trying to map a crevice in the ocean, blind and deaf.

[John]

Barry thought for a moment he might actually not be stoned for a moment. Crypes was right. He didn’t say “man.” Not to mention being in the presence of pants less aliens who apparently had no genitals, was a tad sobering. Barry had sometimes thought he would’ve liked to have been an alien. Fly around in spaceships and go to really cool planets. But as he hoped to have sex at least one more time in his life before he died(and odds are he wouldn’t) he now dismissed the thought.

Glancing around, he grinned a little when he saw the Amy Lee demon on Crypes shoulder, giving Barry a thumbs-up and smiling. He was stoned, so things weren’t that bad…yet. Barry had a feeling, that between exploding cows and aliens, things weren’t likely to stay calm.

Barry took a long haul off his joint and walked to the bar. Stepping up he made himself another White Russian and immediately downed. Mixing a second drink, he took a sip and placed it on the bar. Barry brought up his bottom lip to soak the beverage out of moustache and handed the joint in the direction of Ceri.

“Is it possible for this to get any weirder?” Somehow Barry couldn’t help feeling he would regret asking that.