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Lacey
01-21-2010, 05:53 PM
So, this is a collection of stories based on events in my life. They have no order, they're just...there. Things that haunt me and that dwell inside of who I am.

Enjoy.

Lacey
01-21-2010, 05:54 PM
Hide

She stepped, then she fell.

The Jell-O like legs, she was used to. The sense that she’d been on the merry-go-round far too many times to count didn’t bother her.

Her arms no longer supporting her scared her to death. The fact that her sight didn’t turn into a dark tunnel cued her that something was different this time.

When she hit the ground, she felt nothing.

It was as if she were watching the world through someone else’s eyes. She didn’t mind that at all.

Until she started shaking.

And that shaking turned to violent convulsions.

Her head hit the vacuum. There was only a vague tingling sensation where she hit the hard plastic. It was perfect, not feeling the pain. It was absolutely wonderful, if you forgot about the spasm.

Then it stopped.

No slowing calmly.

It just stopped.

It took a moment for the feeling to come back to her. Her mother asked if she was okay.

She lied.

She hid in that place she’d found.

Watching life through another’s eyes.

She wasn’t allowed to not be okay. Too many people counted on her.

So she’d hide.

It was easier to hide from it.

The trance seemed to work, as she went throughout the day in an almost suffocating routine.

No one knew.

Except her.

But that didn’t matter.

The morning stayed in her head. She couldn’t hide. It was there. Always there.

The numbness wasn’t enough to convince her body that the convulsions were nothing.

It didn’t work.

No matter how many times she repeated to herself.

It couldn’t be okay.

The bed that was her refuge welcomed her and she delved into worlds not
her own.

Wrote things she wished were true.

Until the dark came and swallowed her senses.

It was okay now.

It would be until the alarm woke her and told her otherwise.

Eventually, the hiding would work.

It had to.

It just had to.

Lacey
01-21-2010, 06:14 PM
Death So Sweet

Love drifted down.

Like butterflies, like snow.

Slow, deliberate.

She fought the love. The love never lasted, the ever present feeling that she’d thought she’d always feel faded like everything else. It passed away, just like they said it would.

It all passes away.

Tears cascaded down her cheeks. Scars to everything she’s known. Everything she’s done or hasn’t done comes back to her in a single moment. Pressing on her.

And it falls on her, leaking through the mass of regret and pain. Of moments unforgettable no matter how much she tries.

Her heart lurches within her.

Someone like her doesn’t deserve such love. Because of her, the best friend she’s ever known died.

Because of her stupidity.

Her choices.

The love prods her, wanting her to give into it’s warmth.

She must remain cold. It’s safer when she’s cold. A love that wonderful has too many risks. Too many future tears.

A sob escapes her thick throat and her eyes pours their rain. She refuses to unclench her waiting fists. To let her muscles relax and take in the ever present love.

Music surrounds her and the love flows on it like a feather on the breeze.

Without her permission, the love surrounds her. Holding her in the darkness she’s known so well. It reveals the light within her that she’s hidden so well.

It got past her defenses so easily.

Her stone-chiseled heart still fights but the tears carve lines of flesh into her that she can’t ignore. Wouldn’t even if she could.

The love touches those lines and she shudders.

Suddenly she doesn’t care. Her fists loosen-her emotions ease out of her hard shell.

She surrenders to it.

Just as she expected, it starts to pour within her.

Drifting, always drifting.

It’s killing her ever so softly.

That’s okay with her.

She’d relinquished herself to it and so her life now belonged to the love that possessed her. Caused her to giggle like a child in the arms of her father.

She was dying for that ever present dream to love.

To live.

Bravado
01-22-2010, 05:31 AM
I understand.

Flex
01-22-2010, 07:43 AM
I LOVE how you write. *wub* That first story, in particular--AMAZING.

Lacey
01-24-2010, 06:39 PM
Thank you very much, both of you! I really appreciate.

I feelses so special and warm and fuzzy inside.