PDA

View Full Version : [challenge]



sneakyonfoota
01-27-2010, 04:00 PM
Request something.

If I don't deliver in 24 hours then I lose.

Keep the requested length under 2 000 words, please. I'm not a bloody machine, and I'm certainly not that bored.

Miss Devil
01-27-2010, 04:11 PM
I want a story of bubbles. be creative XD

sneakyonfoota
01-27-2010, 04:14 PM
Bzzt. Wrong forum for that. Try again.

Miss Devil
01-27-2010, 04:16 PM
Sowwy... In outta it.. -yawns-

sneakyonfoota
01-27-2010, 05:39 PM
Right. This one will be paced like a children's storybook.

It will be notated as such to describe the accompanying illustration to the illustrator, with the prose kept as normal.

This story is bad and I feel bad. But it took all but twenty minutes to write up, so there you go.



"A Story of Bubbles"



Pg. 1

[A small, shadowed and otherwise androgynous child from afar, yet close enough to see what s/he is doing: dipping a bubble wand into a plastic jar of bubble solution.]

No text.


Pg. 2

[CU: the child is stirring the wand in the solution.

SFX: stir, stir]

No text.


Pg. 3

[CU: the child's lips, puckered and blowing

SFX: fwoo~]

No text.


Pg. 4

[divide into three panels:

Panel 1: CU: the loop of the wand, a bubble starting to form but not separate

Panel 2: CU: the loop of the wand, the bubble becoming more spherical, a face starting to form on it, its eyes screwed shut with effort and a tight mouth

Panel 3: CU: the loop of the wand, the bubble is free, the face has an effort face; eyes tightly shut and lips curled into a slight sneer

SFX: bip!]

No text.


Pg. 5

[the bubble makes a gentle, lilting path through the air, up and down and up again: at each crest show the bubble and illustrate the path with dashes a la Indiana Jones. The first face is tired or sleepy--just waking up, the second face happier, the third face more like "Whee!"]

No text.


Pg. 6

"I'm... I'm alive!" said the bubble. "I'm alive and it's fantastic!"


Pg. 7

And the bubble danced and bobbed and rose and sank. It was having such a grand time, doing what a bubble does best.


Pg. 8

[Another bubble appears--illustrate with a snaking path from off-panel into Bubble's view.]

"Happy birthday!" greeted another bubble.

"Happy birthday!" the bubble greeted back.


Pg. 9

[Center the picture around the second bubble. In the foreground have the first bubble and the background have a whole crowd of other bubbles.]

"Let's play!" suggested the other bubble.

And they did.


Pg. 10

[As described.]

And the bubbles played. They lifted into the air, then snaked and darted as they gently descended, some clumped while others separated, but they all laughed giddily as they did.


Pg. 11

[Show the bubble happily next to a bubble in the middle of popping--show it bursting, maybe with a happy face.

SFX: *bip!*]

But then the bubble noticed something.


Pg. 12

[Show the bubble distressed as the bubble friends start popping all around him.]

One by one, each of the bubble's friends disappeared until but one other remained.


Pg. 13

[Show bubble being sad, but the second bubble smiling but with grateful tears.]

"Thank you for playing with me," said the other bubble. "Let's play again... Next time."


Pg. 14

[The second bubble pops, the first is distraught.

SFX: *pop~♥*]

And then the bubble was alone.


Pg. 15

[Sad bubble, pleading while crying.]

"Is... is that it?" whimpered the bubble. "Is that all?"


Pg. 16

[As if in slow motion, the bubble's surface begins to tear away from a point on its skin. The bubble catches the moment as it happens."

"N-no! I'm not--!"


Pg. 17

[He pops.

SFX: *pop!*]

No text.


Pg. 18

[The child screws the lid back onto the bubble jar.

SFX: screw, screw, screw]


Pg. 19

[The child walks toward off-panel.]

No text.


Pg. 20

[The child walks off-panel]

The moral, dear children?

Life is but a breath.

Miss Devil
01-27-2010, 05:57 PM
cool. I like. Try this one using math as the main focus.

sneakyonfoota
01-28-2010, 05:51 PM
Nearly dropped the ball on this one. Only scribbled down a pair of vignettes that I was going to bridge into an actual narrative... Oh well, despite the poor quality, nobody can say that I didn't deliver.

...Upon reading it I can only cradle my brow and shake my head.



"The Unfathomable Math-Cop"


Briefed by the captain, Detective Inspector Becker bursts into the office, hastily shouldering on his jacket.

"Math Cop! Let's roll!" he barks to his partner.

The order was hastily shh'ed by a scruffy detective of disheveled dress--shirt tails sloppily hanging out of his trousers, his waistcoat buttoned crookedly and sleeves rolled unevely. He was bent close against a chalkboard, his face, front and hands all covered in white dust.

"Silence!" growled Math Cop. "Can't you see that I'm solving Fermat's Last Theorem?"

D.I. Becker donned his trillby.

"But... it's already been done."

Math Cop arched his back and howled at the ceiling, "Not in BASE 13!"



~


The case was done, the killer caught and led away in handcuffs by a constable into the back of a patrol car.

"You did good work, Math Cop," said Becker, clapping a hand on his partner's shoulder. The slovenly detective seemed pensive and unresponsive, however. "What's the matter?"

"There is but one regret that I have, Becker..." muttered Math Cop after a strained silence.

"And what's that, Math Cop?"

"What is the equation for LOVE?!"

MATH COP!

Kirra
01-28-2010, 05:53 PM
I would love to hear one about the daily life of mobsters.

John
01-28-2010, 06:54 PM
How about something from the perspective of a cockroach.

sneakyonfoota
02-04-2010, 04:11 PM
Didn't forget about this--just had a busy babby week.

Lots of snot, diapers and crying.

A shower seems like a luxury.

sneakyonfoota
01-26-2011, 09:10 PM
Paulie's life was tough.
"Legitimate business" ain't
like in the movies.



My cheap way of fulfilling Kirra's request. I'm not too sure of the rules of English haiku, but I considered "business" a two-syllable word based on phonetics.

People who complain are probably the types who pronounce the first R in "February" and thus cannot be trusted.

"Ain't" felt like a grey area, since contractions usually produce single-syllable, single-word.

I feel that I can put my conscience at rest, though I admit that I am not truly satisfied.

sneakyonfoota
01-26-2011, 09:13 PM
Oh,what'sthat?It'sreallytinglyontheantennae.Isitfo od?Oh,yesit'sfood.Oh, whatwasthat?Eek!It'smoving!Oh,isthatfood?Yummy.



Imagine this repeated in an infinitessimal number of permutations.

/copout