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V
11-12-2012, 06:19 AM
The World of Cacti
I really hate that name, if someone could come up with something better that would be awesome

Rated M to make it cooler. Probably just contains some swearing and some violence.

Welcome to - a wild tale about the many members of RPA or something. Join V as he attempts to salvage his life and power around RPA. Nothing serious here, just an attempt at another RPA story! Imp couldn't have all the fun

[I]Starring: V, Koti, Wattz, Kris, Troy, and whoever else gets shoved in here.
if you want to be in it send me a message and I can put you in somewhere....


Chapter 1: The Downfall of V

The ruins stretched across the hillside. Smoke rose from many places filling the sky above, and in some places the rubble still was aflame. Only a few rooms remained of what had been once a tall structure. The Fortress of Thorns was no more, the mansion destroyed by a mighty force.

V, owner of the smoking rubble, stood at the edge clutching a letter in one hand.

Around him lay the Elite Cactus Guard, V's faithful soldiers that had stood in the way of the onslaught. Many were dead but others continued to groan from injuries or as they died alongside their comrades. But V couldn't focus on them right now, nor on his destroyed mansion – there was something worse on his mind.

Besides, those soldiers weren't elite, probably just some trainees – and this mansion wasn't even the good one.

After some further contemplation V headed toward the village at the base of the hill. He needed to get a group together, some wild adventurers ready for a … er wild adventure. And everybody knew there was only one place to find worthy companions. The local tavern.

Except this was more on an inn. Close enough. The problem was that it was early in the morning, most adventurers would be sleeping off the previous nights fun. V found the inn's common room empty of patrons. He strolled up to the bar where the Keeper of the Inn awaited.

“So you're going after Merry G then,” commented the Keeper.

V stood and stared back dumbly before finally saying, “how do you know it was her?”

“The cursive V on that letter in yer hand, only one person could have written that,” the reply came with the Keeper pointing to the letter.

He looked down at the paper noting the twirly lettering, “I guess so. I'm looking for some adventurers, do you know anyone about?”

Keeper rubbed his bearded chin as he thought, “well since no one is here, I can't be sure.” Just when the dejected V turned to leave, he asked, “what did you even do to earn the wrath of the fairy admin?”

“Oh I stole her shoes,” V said flippantly, waving a hand as if it was the littlest thing.

If Keeper had been drinking something he would have spat it across the room. A horrified look plastered itself upon his face. Reaching for a drink he spluttered out, “you did what!?” He held a hand on his forehead covering the worried lines, he lifted the glass to his lips and said, “please tell me it wasn't the red ones...”

“You don't understand,” revealed V, “I stole them all!”

This time Keeper spat his drink.

“Fucking hell man!” He gasped out.

“BWAHAHAHA!” A new voice laughed out, “very audacious V!”

“Insane!” Keeper muttered looking to the newcomer.

She had appeared out of thin air it seems, which was very near likely. Watching them she sat on one of the tables, her blonde hair waving in the wind of her magical arrival. It was the Witch known as Wattz. She strolled over to them. “Welp, I'm in. So what do we do, go up against Merry?”

“What? No,” V waved the idea away, “I'm not that crazy.”

“Could have fooled us..”

“Alright I am, but we'll save that for another day. Alas the Cacti Army is in danger,” V lifted the letter and threw it on the table for them to read.

Or that was his intention. Instead the paper landed on a candle and suddenly burst into flames. Within seconds there was nothing left but ashes. “Gah!” V threw his hands in the air, “why is there even a candle there!”

Keeper shrugged.

“Bah! Merry informed me about something known as the 'Poison of the Plants' – do you know what that is?”

V was feeling pretty smug, sure that neither of them would have any idea about the poison. After they admitted that he would announce his recently acquired knowledge with a flowery performance.

“Yup,” Keeper replied. Wattz echoed him, “yup, me too.”

“Well it is this- what!”

“We already know.” Sighed Wattz, waving him to continue on.

“I see,” he glared at them. V was often late to finding out information and gossip. “I must obtain the Poison before someone else does, otherwise the Cacti Army will be destroyed.”

“And your power around RPA will cease to exist,” piped up Wattz, reinforcing his words and the disaster that would befall his life if it occurred. “Do you know where the Poison is?”

“Yes, all the way over the other side of RPA. Luckily I have a Map!” He exclaimed those words, holding so much excitement over something so trivial. V pulled a scroll from his back pocket, waving it at them both. It was a gift from his brother Imp several years ago, he'd carried it about ever since. There weren't many cartographers at RPA, maps were a treasure. “We need to head through General first.”

“Should be easy enough,” Wattz said.

“I wouldn't be so sure,” Keeper said cautiously, “how many enemies have you made over the years V?” Who began counting them off on his fingers as Keeper spoke. “Besides Merry – there is Imp of course, Storm wants you out of the way for his Squirrel army, Siks probably does too -”

“This Poison wouldn't be his style, that ninja does things subtly.”

“Unlike you – where was I... Then there is Kris, no one knows what you did there-”

“Hey! It isn't always my fault!”

Keeper and Wattz looked at him with disbelief. V looked between them and mumbled something under his breath about no one ever believing him. Keeper continued, “my point is, anyone of these could come after you now. With your army destroyed right now you're vulnerable.”

This hit V hard, he began to shake with fear his eyes darting around the room. The Keeper was right, there was so many people who could be after him. Wattz shifted and the floorboards creaked, V jumped. Over in a corner he thought he saw someone huddled in the shadows. He breathed out, thinking 'calm down', there was no one there. It was just his fear getting the better of him.

Over in the corner listening in was a huddled figure. It was Troy. Evil Troy. The dark minion to the despicable one known as Kris. He was listening in the V's increasingly despairing situation with interest. Soon he will report this all to his master. Perhaps this time he would be rewarded and set free, he closed his eyes and thought of freedom. It had been so long.

“How do you feel?” Asked Wattz suddenly, “do you still hold power?”

V sensed the capabilities still within him, however diminished they were. He practiced a few of his infamous stabs into thin air.

And destroyed a table.

“Seems a little weakened.”

Keeper groaned looking at the sudden mess. “This always happens with you adventurers.”

“Yup, good old adventurers. C'mon Wattz, Keeper, we've got Poison to find,” V said making his way to the door with Wattz by his side.

“Hey wait! I never agreed to come with you. V wait up, can we talk about this! You'll find others along the way. You don't need me...”

“At least pay for the table!”

~

Next time!

After reporting to Kris, Troy joins his master in the hunt for V hoping to stop him. Meanwhile V and his group travel the desert that is General.... however he's gotten them lost. While they try to find out where they are, their pursuers close in.

Imp
11-12-2012, 07:07 AM
A hilarious read. XD

I happily await more and will now subscribe.

Kris
11-12-2012, 10:38 AM
God! XD

Storm
11-12-2012, 01:19 PM
http://memberfiles.freewebs.com/44/23/61392344/photos/Funny-Animals-With-Guns/Squirrel%20Commander.bmp

Squirrel Approved :D

Definately subscribed to watch as the Drama unfolds :D

Evil Troy
11-12-2012, 09:02 PM
Lawl! LAWL! This is great! Can't wait to see more!

Wattz
11-12-2012, 09:32 PM
Bahahaaaaa, oh man good stuff XD. Can't wait for more!

Mysteria
11-12-2012, 10:38 PM
Consider me subscribed!

V
11-13-2012, 11:18 AM
Thank you everyone, you people are the best! :D :D :D

Sinderella
11-13-2012, 05:54 PM
D'awhh, this is awesome, V!

Kris
11-16-2012, 03:05 PM
Next chapter. when?!

V
11-25-2012, 06:29 AM
Now with a new name!


Chapter 2: The Rise of Kris

A giant staircase weaved its way up the cliff face; Troy scrambled hastily up each cold stone platform. As he rose light seemed to fade all around and the shadows darkened, the air grew hazy. Lightning began to flash as Troy reached the top. Before him, The Fortress of Doom.

Yelping he crossed the small field to a pair of ancient gates, they creaked open as he approached allowing him to enter. The closer Troy came to the fortress, the louder the thunder, the more the sky cracked with lightning. At least it wasn't raini- “Curse you!” Cried Troy, as the black clouds soaked him in an instant.

Troy stumbled along blindly through the heavy rain and into the manor. Panting he closed the door behind him and leaned against it.

Inside was an opposite extreme, the air was stuffy with heat. Quickly Troy shed his outer skulking cloak and placed it on the rack.

The great hall was before him, and he saw his mistress awaiting upon her throne. Before her was a beaten man held between two of her faithful servants. Troys echoing footsteps broke her concentration on the poor fellow, she sighed. “And this was just getting interesting.

“Go, take him from my sight,” Kris commanded, “he may join the others...”

Troy came to a stop before her dais, with the servants dragging away the man who was screaming. Troy had never been to see the others, he shivered and stared after them.

“I was in the middle of something,” Kris said coldly.

“Forgive me!” Troy wailed. How he despised the one known as his master, “I bring dreadful news!”

“Why is it that whenever I send you out to learn information, you return with 'dreadful news,' I should kill you again to teach you a lesson. But... carry on my ever faithful servant, Troy, tell me what is it that you have learned?”

By some cruel twist of fate Troy had been granted immortality after pledging his life to Kris. She was …. fond of testing his abilities to remain alive. “The Cacti V, his place of power has been destroyed, his soldiers wiped out!”

Kris frowned, “I believe I must educate you on what the word dreadful actually means,” Troy seemed to shrink at those words, “for this is simply wonderful!”

“There is more!” Troy stuttered.

“Oh?”

“It was the Fae, Merry, that destroyed his mansion. I was skulking in the tavern, blending into the corners, when he arrived carrying her letter - V sought adventurers.”

“What? To go after Merry?” Kris laughed, “seriously Troy, could this news get any more joyous.”

Troy muttered the next bit, “he doesn't mean to go after her. Merry has told him the location of the 'Poison of the Plants' and he set off with 2 formidable travelers.'

“What?!”

Kris was out of her throne and pacing the dais deep in thought. “Her attack, surely a feint. She has sought allegiance with the cactus, now guides him to the poison. To what end I do not know, if he gains it....

“We must stop him before it is too late.”

Troy seemed to cough and splutter out the words, “she attacked because he stole her shoes.”

“Details Troy, I'm sure if allowed the time they would work that small thing out.” Kris waved away his statement, and concluded, “they must be working together.”

Troy waited for her to speak something more but she stated at him expectantly. “Well?” Kris demanded, “bring my chariot of destruction.”

“The.... uh Jeep?”

“Yes the Jeep, and be quick about it.” Suddenly she held a whip in hand, Troy took one look at the lashes, gulped and scurried away.

~

Wattz looked from the Keeper to V and then back again. Keeper rolled his eyes and shrugged. V held his parchment close, oblivious to the silent conversation between them both. He rotated the map slightly and cocked his head to the side as if it would help him read it better. His face was scrounged up as he thought it over. Wattz stared off into the distance and hummed while she waited, the Keeper crossed him arms.

After they had waited too long for V to come to a decision, Keeper interrupted, “are we on the right path?”

V pushed the map together and peered over the top at both of them. He opened his mouth and closed it. V looked at the map in hands then back to them. “I think we're lost.”

Wattz stared at him and uttered, “we've been standing here for half an hour.”

V looked at his arm, “oh right, no watch.”

Keeper rubbed his forehead, “should have stayed at the Inn.”

“It's not my fault!” Cried V. They gave him disbelieving looks. “Seriously, my map.... isn't a map at all. Just a blank scroll of parchment!” He turned the map around to show them an aged bit of paper free of ink. V waved it at them until Wattz snatched it.

“Gimme a look at this.”

She placed the map on the ground unrolling as she knelt. The two guys peered around the map as well. Magically as Wattz unfurled, drawn lines appeared. When she had finished, the realm of RPA was present for them all to see.

“But that wasn't there before!”

“So we started here...” Wattz pressed a finger to the Fortress of Thorns. “Now we are in General.”

“Aye, which is here,” V pressed his own to the section. The map lines disappeared, he lifted his finger and they reappeared. V frowned and pressed it down again. The lines disappeared and reformed repeatedly until the Keeper tugged his hand away. “Damn Imp! He gave me a map I would be unable to read!”

“Never mind that! Where do we need to go?” Keeper demanded, wishing this journey would end soon.

“Oh right, this way.” V traced his finger from his previous mansion to General and then beyond, moving in a straight line. V stood up and looked about, turning until in the right direction. “Let's go!” He cried, racing off over the sands of General.

“Um.... Hang on a moment V,” Wattz said, “there's a -”

“Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

“- Canyon ahead.”

Keeper and Wattz both sighed and began walking toward the canyon and staring down into the abyss after V.

~

Next time!

V awakens from his fall and finds himself in a place he fears to visit... the Downtown Clubs area. Afraid to enter many he enters Mary Sue's Tea house, only to find things not as they should be. Meanwhile, Kris and Troy catch up to Keeper and Wattz.

Imp
11-25-2012, 06:33 AM
Glad to see you enjoy my map. ;)

Kris
11-25-2012, 08:13 PM
Brilliant XD

Kris
12-27-2012, 08:29 PM
When is the new chapter @_@ ?

V
01-17-2013, 11:22 AM
Soon I hope Kris!

V
03-20-2013, 01:50 AM
Wasn't this meant to go up months ago?


Chapter 3 : Gone Clubbing

“Ugh.”

V picked himself up from the floor of the canyon valley. Somehow, he'd managed to survive the fall, tumbling down and down, screaming until he lost consciousness from one too many hits to the head. That or, the shocking sight of one of his cacti brethren sticking outside the canyon wall looking withered causing him to faint. Sounds like something pathetic he'd do. Either way he woke up in a pile of trash in a messy alley way.

An alley way? In the bottom of a canyon?

“Oh no....” V managed to whisper out aghast.

Carefully he scraped his body along the closest wall, the uneven layering of bricks digging into his arms. His shirt got snagged. It was hard to untangle. Once he reached the end of the alley he looked out into the street. Just as he feared.

The Downtown Clubs section. A place so dark and damp and defiled that you couldn't take two steps without suffering some ailment or corruption. V shuddered, trying to force himself into the brick wall and hide. He could deal with Madness, Games, and the weird dating area of Ask Member. But Downtown Clubs was a poison to him.

Shambling along, he could see people within the clubs, just beyond the entrances looking at him. V pulled his coat around him. (He's been wearing one this whole time, totally.) Somehow he managed to be the only one walking down the street, made everyone know he didn't fit in here. Doors shut after he passed them by.

Suddenly his eyes gazed upon the holy word painted nicely on a sign ahead. It drew him like a beacon. Tea.

His hesitancy of being there was gone, drawn forth by his love of the drink. And he rushed straight into Mary Sue's Tea House.

~~

The Jeep pulled up. Before the engine had died, Troy scrambled to the drivers side. Opening the door for Kris, he held out his hand. Kris scowled and pushed him out of the way. They walked up to the pair staring over the canyon.

“Hey Kris,” Wattz said cheerfully without glancing up. Keeper nodded to Troy.

The four of them looked over the edge into darkness. Long ago V's cries had faded, Keeper had shivered at the echoes. Especially the loud crunch sound of a body bouncing off the canyon wall. Briefly Wattz had attempted her witchcraft but it was to no avail. Wherever V had went it was a place free from magic.

“Oh well, V's gone.” She commented, “bwahahaha, this was a lengthy adventure!'”

Forlorn Kris continued staring over the edge, well beyond it was perhaps sane to do so. The other three whispered behind her back, before Troy settled things “her nemesis is gone, she's allowed to feel lost.”

“Troy!”

Quickly he scampered over to her, “yes, Mistress what is it youuuuuuuuarghhhhhhhhh!!!”

And he was toppling over the edge. Gone. Following V down into the darkness below. As he fell to one of his many deaths, he heard Kris whisper in his ear, “follow him, no doubt V is up to something.”

With that down Kris clapped her hands cheerfully and turned to Wattz and Keeper. “A lengthy adventure you shall receive Wattz dear! We've got to stop V from finding the Poison of the Plants.”

“Sure why not! I'm always up for an adventure.”

Keeper nodded menacingly, and cracked his fingers. “I'm in.” Squinting, he added, “I've got something to settle with V. He broke my table.”

The three of them gathered around the map, RPA stretched before their eyes. Wattz pointed out where they were, in General. She commented on how V said the Poison was all the way over the other side of RPA. Keeper pointed out that he hadn't told them of its supposed location. “Drat,” muttered Kris before an idea formed.

“We all know V right? Well... he tries to do things in the simplest way possible...” Kris pointed to V's mansion and the Inn, then dragged her finger across the map to General. “We just have to – Gah!”

With her touch, the map caught aflame and was ash in moments. A few seconds later her phone was buzzing. Kris lifted it to her ear, the unmistakeable cackle of Imp was all she heard.

“Tried to touch V's map, did you Kris?”

“Immmmmmmmppppppp!”

“Oh yeah - Be of the look out for an Ork.” With that Imp hung up.

As if nothing had happened Kris continued, “We just have to continue in this same direction, without deviating much. We'll find where ever V intended to go soon enough.




From a high place nearby and obscured from their view, a mysterious stranger watched. Bandages covered this person from head to toe, just some wide eyes showing. In a muffled voice, they say to themselves, “I.... return.”

“Should have left a mouth hole.”

~~~

“Well, well, well,” Queen Cleopatra said, her ethereal tones resonating throughout the tea house. Her posture was impeccable as she said on her throne, glancing toward V. His wild rabid eyes from being within Clubs section too long darted about the tea house. “Just the one I was looking for. But my, what has gotten into you?”

“Tea! I require tea!” His hands twitched about, as if struck by madness.

Cleopatra sighed, “don't we all. But alas...” Her voice trailed away.

“No...” Whispered V, suddenly realising who was missing. He flung himself down, bowing before the queen. “Where is she?”

Cleo leaned forward, “I warned her about you, but she wouldn't listen. 'He's virtually harmless' she said to me. But now she's gone!”

She looked away from him, forcing V to ask again, “Ruby, where is she?”

“This is all your fault V. If only you'd kept to yourself, we all told you to. This is beyond just your army.” She scolded him. Cleo unfolded a bit of paper and read,

“I've captured Mary Sue, she'll be returned once V. Returns. My. Shoes.

M.G”

V pounded the floor with a fist, Merry was an even more dangerous adversary then he had first feared. The minor attack on his mansion was just the beginning. Now Mary! What next would she do, V had to end this before it became a catastrophe.

“Good, you see how grave the situation is,” commented Cleo. “I would attend you.... but I have imported Queen duties to attend to. But, I have enlisted on of my subjects – friends, to aid you...”

From the darkness came a laugh, followed by the bells of approaching footsteps. V swore, he didn't know if this was good or bad.

~

What happens when Troy awakes?
Who is that mysterious person?
What's up with that Ork anyway?

None of these will be answered in the next chapter.

G
04-01-2013, 11:48 AM
XD XD XD

Pure gold.

V
04-01-2013, 12:11 PM
Excellent, thanks G XD

Chat Noir
06-20-2013, 07:44 AM
:lalala:

I must have more of this. I MUST!

V
06-20-2013, 07:55 AM
one day... I hope XD... it is at the bottom of my large pile of things to do .

Kris
06-20-2013, 12:53 PM
You must!

Chat Noir
12-27-2013, 05:40 PM
Is this still at the bottom of your huge pile of things to do?!

I hope not!! :D

Storm
06-18-2014, 04:39 PM
Don't make me send out the Squirrels to pillage the world for all their peanut butter cookies! We wanz a new chapter!

*yea, they will pillage for cookies anyway, but this way, we kan blamz uuuuuuuuuu * :D

V
06-19-2014, 05:42 AM
Hahaha, thanks Storm.

Been thinking I might restart this anew. New plot and characters.