Cfavano's Battlegrounds

[Cfavano]

[CENTER]



Wins
Losses
Draws
Susan
Shazam
Power
Flow
Total
League
score
Badge


Cfavano
2
2
3
153
10
123
95
371
0








Name
Wins
Losses
Draws
Ranking
(Pos)
Ranking
(Score)
Health


Delita
0
0
1
0
0
(dead)


Juliet
0
1
0
0
0
(alive)


Haytham
1
0
0
0
0
(Alive)


Hidan
0
0
2
0
0
(Alive)


The God Emperor
1
1
0
3
18
(Alive)






Arenas

#1 The Imperial Palace -

http://images.wikia.com/warhammer40k/images/b/b5/Imperial_Palace_Terra2.jpg

The Imperial Palace is not just a single building but a massive interconnected series of continent-wide fortifications comprised of cyclopean and pyramidal structures that extend for several kilometres into the sky and for several dozen kilometres beneath the surface of Terra. The Palace is said to have 4,029,854 chambers in its entirety. This complex is divided into two security perimeters which essentially function as separate urban regions, the Outer and Inner Palaces, both of which are marked by thousands of landing pads for small craft and monstrous defensive weapons systems.

The Imperial Palace still possess the scars of the terrible conflict that raged around it during the Battle of Terra more than 10,000 standard years ago. The heart of the Inner Palace contains the Sanctum Imperialis, the Hall of the Golden Throne, deep within the Inner Palace past the Eternity Gate where the Emperor of Mankind resides, his dying and decaying body interred within the arcane mechanism of the Golden Throne in stasis.

The Imperial Palace is as heavily populated and just as active as any hive city of the Imperium. In fact, it probably has a higher density of population per square mile than most hive cities. Billions of Adepts from all branches of the Adeptus Terra work in the Imperial Palace complex overseeing the affairs of Mankind. The Outer Palace has become a grim slum inhabited by millions of destitute people who have no employment beyond the few scraps they can squeeze from the tables of the more fortunate Adepts. While the Adeptus Custodes is responsible for the overall security of the Imperial Palace and directly polices the affairs of the Inner Palace, security within the urban zone of the Outer Palace is normally provided by the Adeptus Arbites. The Arbitrators are particularly concerned with providing security outside the many Imperial governmental office buildings of the Outer Palace where thousands of people queue up every day to seek employment in the Adeptus Administratum, even if only as menial serfs. Such employment is better than the desperate fight for survival that confronts so many of the men and women who make their homes in the squalid back alleys of the Outer Palace. Arbites shock troops are always on hand to brutally suppress the inevitable queue riots that break out every day as the grim lines of the desperate poor jockey for position.




#2 Mount Bervenia

http://images.wikia.com/finalfantasy/images/4/45/Mount_Bervenia.png

The largest active volcano in all of Ivalice, this mountain has wide rivers of flowing lava, and islands and paths of basalt. While it does not erupt very often, lava is constantly flowing, and the bones scattered around show that it is frequently used for fighting, and a wide array of monsters make this environment their home



#3 Keyblade graveyard
http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/105/8/0/kingdom_hearts_birth_by_sleep___keyblade_graveyard _by_soxxeh-d4w92lt.png

This desolate and lifeless world is where, long ago, Warriors fought for control of the χ-blade. Now, all that remains are fields upon fields of lifeless keyblades, their magic gone. These still function as weapons, but there is nothing special about them. There are wide roads separating the acres wide squares of graves, as well as mountains and valleys.



#4



#5


#6


#7


#8


#9


#10

[Eddren]

Man and machine both flew back as Nightmare Moon, her Nightmare Magic giving her far more mass than she truly had, poked an enormous head in and through the building. Angrily, she set her eyes on the God-Emperor of Mankind. "YOU! It is people like YOU that have caused everypony to forget about me!" In a fit of rage, she focused, vines shooting out of her horn to grapple the throne, ripping it to bits and forcing him out of his sleep.

[Cfavano]

As her vines pierced the hyperbolic shell, they were blasted back by a massive force, and obliterated them. Standing there, is the God-Emperor in all his radiance. His wounds, healed. Immense psychic force radiates off of his body, distorting the very air. He gazes up at the Daemon, and grimaces. He raises his hand, and teleports to right in front of the face, and blasts it point-blank with a massive beam of golden force.

[Eddren]

The head dissipated on contact with the beam, showing the much-smaller Nightmare Moon. Stars and clouds wrapped around her horn, blasting in an ivory cone of destruction at the Emperor in retaliation. For all his Psychic power, she seemed completely unfazed, and in fact, her Nightbolts came flanking, now, zapping down with black lightning.

[Cfavano]

He glares up at the cone. Right before it hits, he disappears, and reappears above Nightmare Moon without warning, slashing at her left wing with his Holy Power sword. "Burn, Daemon."

[Eddren]

Glaring up at the evaded attack, Nightmare Moon unfolded her wings suddenly, horn glowing like the moon. She poofed, a vortex of Night Magic threatening to swallow the God-King up while the Alicorn was nowhere in sight. However, the Thunder Bolts now wheeled to strike at him again, lightning arching down for another go. Their eyes seemed to glow with malicious delight as they struck for the vengeance of their Mare in the Moon.

[Cfavano]

The Emperor curls up into a ball, his entire body glowing with purple energy, Before Extending his limbs again. "Be purged!" A large spherical explosive wave blasts out from him, tearing open a hole in realspace as a warp storm rages for a few seconds, Causing a series of megaton level explosions, destroying the bolts, slamming into Nightmare Moon and leaving a city-wide part of the inner palace naught but smouldering wreckage. After the storm Dissipates. The Emperor Slowly descends to stand on the wreckage of a landing pad, to watch as the dust settles.

[Eddren]

The void of night was gone, and Nightmare Moon stood at the edge of the landing pad, wings fluttering as she removed some dust from her wings. Large cuts criss-crossed her body, although she didn't seem bothered in the slightest by it. Glaring upward, she released another spell from her horn. The crater slowly filled with creepers and cretins, goblins and ghouls, until finally they flowed upward, seeking to engulf the Emperor in a living wave of hatred and fear.

[Cfavano]

The baddies cover his entire body, then, his aura flares to life, Disintigrating the baddies nearest to him, and keeping the nes not near him away, and causing them to cringe with fear, as he glows like a miniature sun. "I have fought the Chaos gods for countless Millennia, Daemon. Your parlor tricks faze me not!" He laps back off the pad as he swings his free hand to the left. Following his command, a ruined tower, the size of the Chrysler building is sent flying through the air at Nightmare moon.

[Eddren]

It crashes through, though Nightmare Moon is nowhere to be seen. As the dust-cloud rises, her visage can be seen projected through it, that haughty expression glaring back at the man even as a horn is thrust into his back. "You dare call me Daemon? You simpering whelp, I'll reduce you to the forgetful little babe you are for that!" Twin Cyan orbs glared with ice into his back.

[Cfavano]

To her surprise, her horn is stopped by his armor. It pierces it some, and creates a chink, but fails to wound. "That's because you are!" He spins around and backhands her with his claw hand, which is charged with matter-disrupting energy. "I have peered into your soul. It is as black as your coat. Equestria will forever hate you as you are. But I see in you a spark of good. End this path you walk, and there is hope. Keep going, and it will only mean your end."

[Eddren]

She was shoved to the side, though the energy he held seemed to do nothing more than severely burn her. A crack appeared in her horn, but an influx of magic seemed to fill the crevices and quickly that magic burst outward as she formed into a colossus of an Alicorn once more, booming down at him "Those ponies abandoned my beautiful creation! They deserve no good, but all the blackness I can grant them!" She then brought a massive hoof down on the God-Emperor, seeking to crush this puny existence like she would crush all who dared forget she who held the night!

[Cfavano]

As her hoof Comes down, He raises his holy Power sword, who's edge can cut through diamonds as if they were but butter, angling it so the point goes through her Hoof. With his other hand, he Braces himself against the hoof. The platform he's on begins to crumble and bend underneath, as he goes down on one knee. "You do not truly believe that. Deep inside, I see a sad and lonely little filly. Isn't that right, Luna?"

[Eddren]

Though the man may have caused the floor to crumble and bend, it must have been by his own weight, because her hoof seemed to seem to strangely--and perfectly--stop on the tip of the sword. However, her enormous form crumbled as well, revealing instead a Thunderbolt on stilts, who stuck his tongue out at the Emperor before swinging a stilt at him and shooting a bolt of lightning. Meanwhile, Nightmare Moon watched regally from on top of the palace, glaring down at him. "A sad filly? I am beyond sad! What you fools have done is to disgrace me in the highest, and I will never forgive you for that!" Her Equestrian voice was empowered by the magic of her horn as it was turned into a verbal assault.

[Cfavano]

The lightning surges through him, causing immense pain, But, he allows the lightning to flow through his body, and shoot back up at the bolt, overloading it, and making it poof. He teleports up to NM, but does not attack. "I've never done anything to you. Nor have I ever even wanted to be worshiped. Is why you hate me so much, because I remind you of your sister, Celestia? Who, even as you were being sealed away, her eyes were tearful."

[Eddren]

"And you mean the Sister who allowed her Day to rule, and my Night to SUFFER?!" Nightmare Moon, fully enraged by such a blatantly ignorant statement, rammed her horn toward the mans' chest. Her horn glowed black, and stones shot from everywhere, turning to eyes and teeth and all sorts of far more horrible, indescribable things. The kinds of things that made Children permanently scarred.

[Cfavano]

As soon as she got close, He grabs her Horn, holding her In place, as he forms an impenetrable barrier around both of them, encasing them in a sphere. "I mean the sister who always loved you. I know she loved you, and so do you. 10 millennia ago, I had to make a decision similar to hers. And it was just as hard for me." Focusing, he passes on to her all of his memories of the final hours of the Horus Heresy.


((note, what follows is not part of my post, but a description of what she sees))


Throughout the war, which lasted 7 long years, in which billions of Lives were lost, I could do nothing to help my people, for I was forced to combat the Daemons attempting to attack Terra... But all that changed. Horus, my Most Beloved Son, who betrayed us, and took half of our forces, seeking to become Sole Ruler, The champion of the Dark gods of Chaos, Had finally made it to Terra. I learned that He had Lowered his flagship's shields, Inviting e to fight him. I led the assault, followed by some of my soldiers, and another one of my sons, Sanguinius. Upon teleporting into the ship, Horus used his dark magic to separate us, causing us to have to fight our way through to the bridge. Sanguinius got there before I did, and engaged his brother. He lost... But then I stepped forward. And what I saw... Chilled me. My son was not how I had remembered him. He had grown stronger, been bloated with the Powers of Chaos. I could feel the Evil coming off of him. (she can, of course, feel and see everything he 'experiences' in this memory). I fought him. But I could not bring myself to use the full extent of my powers on him. He ripped off one of my arms, and shattered my internal organs, wounding me mortally.

It was then that a lone one of my guards caught up to me. Horus then used his power to flay the man's skin from his bones. I knew then that with his cruelty and casual disregard for human life, mankind would suffer greatly under his rule. While he was doing that, it gave me enough time to focus the rest of my waning power, and channel it through a chink in his armor that Sanguinius made, and killed him, destroying his soul utterly, and denying the gods their champion. I saw, right before he died, his face cleared, and he smiled at me in gratitude.

[Eddren]

"HAH! You think that a mere betrayal by your son is enough to bring you to my level?" Her horn glowed, and she was outside the barrier. It glowed again, and the world seemed to be falling into chaos. Mouths would open up beneath the buildings, chomping them up until they were fully gone. Tentacles reached up, grabbing men and throwing them into said mouths. "ALL OF THE WORLD ABANDONED ME!"

[Cfavano]

"No." He slowly walks towards her. "You pushed them away. You were, and are afraid. Your fear turned to anger, then to hate, and now you suffer for it. You are still Luna. You seek to be loved. But what does it take, to be loved? 500 trillion people love me. Do you want to know why? It is because I never asked for it. I never asked to be worshiped, praised, loved. Nor did your sister. Think about it. Did she go around shouting 'love me' and smiting those that didn't?"

[Eddren]

"No..." Nightmare Moons' voice grew dark, "She just made my creation completely ignored..." She stabbed forward with the horn again, though quickly disappeared before the hit connected, and she reappeared elsewhere. Her horn glowed, and the God-Emperor of Mankind found himself fighting in very pink undergarments. Ladies undergarments. "Try talking down to me in that!"

[Cfavano]

"No, she didn't. All things in the universe rely on balance. And it was not your creation." He faces her, and his armor reforms from the underwear. "No one makes the night or day. Night and day are a phenomenon created by the rotation of planetary bodies." As he says this, the sun begins to rise. "You see? Celestia is not here, yet the sun rose. Try explaining that."

[Eddren]

"Quite simply, Celestia is far more powerful than you give her credit for." Nightmare Moon returned curtly, "After all, for all your...Temporary...Power, you could not possibly deign to know the workings of those behind the most powerful aspects that drive your world." With a spell from her horn, the moon rose on the opposite horizon, blatantly ignoring the sun before it. "Because it is by our lack of interference that your world does not fall apart."

[Cfavano]

"So, then, you do still think highly of her. You think my power temporary? I was born as powerful as I am now, 48,000 years ago. Much older than you. For all your power, you are mortal. I am not" An image appears in front of NM, of her old, wrinkled, and grey. "You will fade, and who will remember you? Look deep inside. Deep inside. Who was there for you, pleading with you, until the end?"

[Eddren]

Nightmare Moon laughed haughtily at him. "You think you're so far beyond me? Child, you know nothing of how time works. We live not in the same world. Do not presume to think that you were there before I existed, as I have been around since far before any of...This...Was around. The only thing our two worlds share in common is the moon, which has been around since long before you have!" With a Flare of her wings, she sent her Shadow-Bolts zooming off after the Emperor, lightning primed to strike once again.

[Cfavano]

"Have it your way" He flies around, having the bolts chase him. "But, chronology aside, you act as if you are naught but a filly 'give me attention, I want all the attention. Everyone abandoned me, they should love me even though I killed them'. How petty." They are but inches from him as he flies towards NM and once he is but inches from her, he teleports behind her, and hits her with her own attack.

[Eddren]

His attack connects, but she lashes out with her hooves at his face, as well, taking advantage of the momentum to force in a hit. "Honestly. Teleportation is the most base of our magics, even my Sisters' apprentice can do such parlor tricks. Did you expect me to not know how to counter that?" She whirled around, now, and the ground below him became a twister from hell, hands reaching out to grab him as she glared at him with a superior expression. "This is what you get for denying me my proper gratitude!"

[Cfavano]

When her hooves hit They pass into his body, but what was his body, is not. it is instead, a portal. She is being pulled into a purplish red portal. Tentacles reach out to siphon her power away. The Real God-Emperor Steps out from behind some rubble, some distance away. "Is that base? That is a portal into the area of the Warp controlled by Nurgle, The chaos god of Rot, pestilence, and entropy." He body is covered in a cocoon of warp energy. "Your powers will be mostly drained. But you will not die."

[Eddren]

"Base as can be." She snorted, but her horn glowed again and, not ten seconds before she was supposed to pass through the portal, she pushed herself back out. As the cocoon had not yet existed, she was free to move. Another ten seconds later, and Nightmare Moon stood before the portal, which she quickly dispelled with a bit of magic, shaking her head. "To think you'd speak so easily of time, and forget that I can readily transport through it!"

[Cfavano]

"There is something you have failed to take into consideration, child. Your magical energy? It's finite. I, however, draw upon the energies of the warp, an entire dimension. What can you hope to gain? Do you think beating me will make you loved? If anything, you'll gain even more enemies. 500 trillion, in fact. But, here I am, reasoning to an infant. You claim to be abandoned, but it was you, who abandoned her. You left, and started killing ponies. All your hardship? Is because of you."

[Eddren]

"And your ignorance shows again, Mortal." This time, she did not give him the grace of a response, simply dragging the moon down from the sky. An enormous mouth opened up, seeking to devour the God-Emperor. "I banish you!" She screamed at him, stamping her hoof as Nightmare Energies flooded the area.

[Cfavano]

"No. I am done talking. I will not let you share Horus's fate." He teleports, and then reappears right in front of nightmare moon. He then grabs on to the sides of her head with his hands, and beings pouring his energy into her. He is attacking the evil and hate inside her, attempting to drive it out, while drawing the real Luna up to the surface.

[Eddren]

Extra Post(Unecessary.)

[Cfavano]

um. My post was the last. It's easier for anna to judge if it ends in an attack.

[Eddren]

Nevermind that. Was being stupid. Actually, we added in, like, six-seven unnecessary posts.

[Cfavano]

no, 30

[Eddren]

Actually, it's 25. As was set by SQJ on page 2 of OOC. Top of the page.

[Cfavano]

I know, just edit post 32 to be nothing like IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE

- - - Updated - - -

then he changed it to 30 and it's impossible for it to be 25, it's uneven. One player has one less post.

[Eddren]

To be honest, I ended it in an attack, so I don't see why we need the 31st one. =/

[Cfavano]

because The first post was post 2, the last was 31. 2 is one more than 1 what is 31-1?

[Eddren]

Oh, silly me. Again with my forgetting to do basic math.

[Cfavano]

tonight's just not your night, is it? did you see the pictures I put in the 'I challenge you' thread?

[Eddren]

Mmhmm.
And nope, it's not my night, actually. I literally stared at two of the four girls I hang out with blankly while laying on my backpack, trench-coat doubling as padding against the floor and a blanket. And not a single thought went through my head that I clearly remember. It was like I was dreaming. Except if I were dreaming, they would have been happier looking.

[Cfavano]

wow. personal?

You like them? And did you like my little narrative? And the correlations I made? Get this, and I'm not making it up. Horus was the primarch of the legion of Space marines known as the 'Luna Wolves'

[Eddren]

Well, they're two of my best friends. Of course I like them. But I was staring at them, more or less because I was vaguely confused as to why they weren't talking, either.
Anyway, yeah, I know about the Luna Wolves. Personally, that'd be the kind of actual PET I'd keep. Except I'd call it a Dusk Wolf, and it'd be a manifestation of my will. As it turns out, I really enjoy the night, too. It's cool, peaceful...I can hide well in it...Nobody tries to annoy me...

[Cfavano]

*hugs* My little anti-socialite. Is that why you like NM?

[Eddren]

*Returns* NM is great because she's got such a bitter past. It gives her a depth as a villain that most stories don't give their villains. Though I wish her redemption story were a little more well-thought-out as well.

[Cfavano]

That's what I was aiming for. A sort of....intervention, as it were. But, still, I DO think the God-Emperor is much older than her.

[SQJ]

-Every post in a thread counts, and is measured, you can't actually have an OOC conversation here. Also, since I’m here if you want to give characters details like you did in that huge post, PM it to him.-

[Cfavano]

sorry >_<

[SQJ]

I am Pure and I will be writing up your judgement. I can safely say that this was one hell of a close battle with an expected result.

But not because it was fantastic there were a great deal of issues. Issues I plan on elaborating on in detail so as to increase the posting skill of your characters and ensure your next judges give you much higher ranking points.

This is all around the next battle for me.

First things first.

The plot. There's something that was bothering me and my co judge in this. The opening post seemed completely random. I had no idea what was going on and we were both confused by what was being said, and why. It would have been so much better if within the posts there was some form of explanation as to what was happening. The further in you guys went into your plot the more confused we were until we just had no idea what was happening all, so you can imagine how badly the posts with a majority of dialogue were judged. Assuming that the reader knows nothing about the character from the start and going on is always the best method.

Next is the word counts. Oh my god there were so many posts that just go right over the word counts I'm pretty sure the numbers are high into the tens. Any post that went over the word count instantly lost two points from the flow category. And you guys simply lost so much.

Next is the issue of positioning of attacks, some of the attacks were great and those were generally collected together at the start of the RP. A typical story plot starts slow and gains speed until the climax, yours was entirely the opposite. You guys both started strong with powerful attacks that were exciting but then each of your posts were dropped down to moves which didn't flow as well as the initial posts, which makes sense. I mean if you kick of at the speed of light then where else can you go but down.

Grammar and tense was also a huge problem for myself and the other judge. At first one started with with present tense and the other used past tense, then I think you guys both got a little confused with each other in posts. And there was just present as past tense mixed all over the place. I feel that tense is something you guys should go along with together. Otherwise while you guys have a great posting session it will be confusing for everyone else who has to actually read it.

Both of your Power statistics took a massive knock because of your use of powers. Yes, granted your power ability lists were vague enough to simply incorporate every single attack that was used. But there were so many attacks used that seemed to fall under the vague unmentioned heading that it ended up being another reason your entire battle battle lost momentum. A very strong suggestion I would make that you simply work on fleshing out your character ability sheets enough so it seems like your character is being resourceful instead of creating a spell to suit the situation.

Now understand the reason we judges went into such detail is because we see the blatant raw potential hidden between all of you. We know you guys can make it. I know you guys can be absolutely awesome and could be creating absolutely divine battles.

Recommendations.
*I recommend using your hyper powerful characters less often as a tool to create better posts. Put them on hold and try characters with very limited powers in order to force your characters to be resourceful, so we can see your characters get hurt, see them struggle, gasp for breath, sweat, bleed. If anything a powerful character is a potential disadvantage in a battle.

*Consider your characters abilities, try to spread them out across 30 posts before hand and see how to make them last those 30 posts. Also forces you to be more resourceful.

*Write a clear lists of spells and abilities for your characters(in the character sheet), like spells your characters are likely to use considering that you know their personalities best(You created them)
No matter how powerful, no matter how godly or amazing your character is there are bound to be spells that blind sight them. They can't have an answer for EVERYTHING

*Always ALWAYS ALWAYS keep track of your word count.

*A tip is to try act out the physical attack and make sure the moments you feel or see are also seen, felt on the page.

*Be careful of your spells, success of all attacks rely on your opponent. Do not guess for him or her. Which is why long term effect spells or combos are far more tricky than the blatant spells.


And now for your scoring.

This was a long 2 day process with a 15 round point system that accumulated your scores for your individual posts. Please don't think we ever took this lightly.

Eddren Night Mare moon

Power

8/30

Flow

6/30

Susan

15/30

Total: 29/90

Cfavano

Power

11/ 30

Flow

9/30

Susan

14/ 30

Total: 34

No shizzam this game thanks to those high word counts.

WINNER

The God-Emperor of Mankind


The evil within nightmare moon was too powerful, too intense. I clung on tightly as the pony began to thrash against the heavy armour. A massive force of energy struck The go emperor right in the chest. tearing at the armour stripping it's shell bit by bit. The god Emperor’s grip tightened as his fingers closed on the horn of the pony, his arm wrapped around its neck. The pony's hooves toughed soil as it teleported into land the pushed the god king back, it's magical power still aiming a dire threat of death at the god's chest.

The Emperor's feet duck into the earth but the earth gave way before either of the warriors grounding an earth into sand, as the literally crashed right through dunes through desert.

The near liqiud sand gave way to cool tough grass staining both parties, wood splintered and exploded as forests passed and then walls of rock surrounded them. Caving and encasing them only to give way as though they were the wind.

The armour passed and the God emperor's chest lay explodes, his physic power now the only thing saving him fro being torn from his flesh as his own portal draw the magic from the Pony.

Much of it's collor had faded and it's intense speed slowed, it had been an hour since it had last teleported in an attempt to slam him into anything.

The gallop turned to a jog, then a trot to an exhausted walk. Both parties were spent but The god king still had just a little more enough to teleport them into an orc home world. Surrounded the god emperor toppled over on top of the pony who dropped under the weight of the human god.

The god's fists slammed down. Nightmare cried out it's front legs shattered under the impact. It's cry became muffled as it's jaw shattered under another more severe impact on it's face. Which was followed by another and another, flecks of blood sprays spiralling in all directions, new bursts always finding a new home as the cries grew weak. Heavy thuds of impacts turning into splashes of bloody gore where there was n skin and bone the thud against. Nightmare's legs stopped kicking His magic parted from him. His body decimated. The god emperor teleported away, leaving the rest for the orcs to feast upon.

[Jacogos]

Richard vs. Juliet
Post #1

Resting on a recliner pool raft in the middle of the lava, Richard sipped out of a half coconut shell, a fruit smoothie passing through the straw and through his face mask.

“Ahhh…” he sighed, adjusting his sunglasses. “Now, if only I could do something about the lack of sun…” A few undead had been fanning him with palm leaves, until one had dipped too low. Now they sat in time-out, fiddling with their weapons.

[Cfavano]

Richard hears a "HIYAH!" as an undead is sent crashing into him. Standing on a rock is a teenage girl. "Gimmie a J! Gimmie a U! Gimmie an L! Gimmie an I! Gimmie an E! Gimmie a T! What's that spell?" She does a forward flip in the air, before landing among a group of undead, and blasting them away with a wave of sparkles, and then posing. "Juliet! And I'm gonna kick your undead butts!"

[Jacogos]

Richard vs. Juliet
Post #3

Richard sent a fireball up at the undead, burning him to cinders before he landed on the warlock. Tilting his sunglasses down slightly, he peered at the cheerleader.

“Hooker assassin?” He said amusedly, not even getting up. “I hope she came highly recommended.” Snapping his fingers, he went back to his fully-clothed sunbathing as a volley of fireballs soared towards her.

[Cfavano]

"Hooker? Eww, as if." Clapping her pom poms, Juliet begins with a series of forward cartwheels, and, using that momentum, changes into hand springs, curving her curvy body around the fire balls. Getting to the edge of the pool, she springs herself high, then lands on richard's crotch heels first. "Hi." She then springs off richard with enough force to sink his floatie, and she lands on the bank.

[Jacogos]

Richard vs. Juliet
Post #5

“Ooooh, the undead jewels,” Richard groaned. Then, as he was shoved under the magma, he held his hand up dramatically.

“Nooooo, not in the lavaaaa..!!” He cried, gurgling the last word. Moments later, he burst up, wrapped in flames with his eyes glowing.

“Imagine that. No damage,” he said with a chuckle. Holding his arms out in front of him, a beam of flame shot at Juliet, ready to engulf her in fire.

[Cfavano]

"Ready, okay!" She cartwheels to the right to dodge his beam. After jumping into the air, Juliet begins to chant:

"I Will, I Will,
Rock you down,
Shake you up,
Like a volcano about to erupt,
Mighty, mighty Juliet's here to stay,
I'll rock you all night, and rock you all day!"

After, she takes out her blaster, and begins blasting at Richard with the high-caliber slugs.

[Jacogos]

Richard vs. Juliet
Post #7

“What the hell is th-“

Slugs ripped into Richard, opening holes that weren’t meant to be in him. As the barrage ended, he looked down as his wounded body in surprise. “Well that’s new.” Shrugging off the damage, the warlock began glowing green as bodies rose from the ground in the dozens.

“Hey look!” he shouted at his new horde. “Brains!” The zombies immediately ran for Juliet. Meanwhile, Richard floated to the far side of the lava.

[Cfavano]

Juliet looks to the right and the left as the horde surrounds her. "Oh, Poo." As they descend upon her, all looks lost. However the loud roar of a powerful motor is heard, and the horde is blown away as Juliet spins on one foot, her whirring chainsaw held horizontal, and trailing blood and rainbows. She stops, smiles, and winks. "Killing zombies gives me total wood!"

[Jacogos]

Richard vs. Juliet
Post #9

“Not sure which is more annoying… the voice…” He mused, one hand on his chin. Fwoosh'ing, Richard held his hand forth and sent a rain of fire at the woman, happily sacrificing some undead that were charging her again. "Or the special effects..."

Afterwards, Richard slapped on some swimming goggles and prepared himself, and then did a perfect jackknife dive into the lava, complete with a dainty plop of lava being displaced.

[Cfavano]

"Ooh, it's getting hot in here." Her chainsaw disappears and she begins dodging the fire using a variety of gymnastic moves, including cartwheels and flips. "So, mister zombie, are you gonna fight..." She springs on to a rock. "Or are you gonna be a pussy and hide the entire time?"

[Jacogos]

Richard vs. Juliet
Post #11

“Sounds like a challenge.” Suddenly, Richard is holding a Rock Band guitar, hands flaming as he wails on it. “LET’S GET READY TO ROCK, THEN, PRINCESS!” he cries, pretending to rip a few power chords on the fake guitar.

As a bonus, he shoots a few energy bolts at her, in the shape of musical notes, complete with staff lines. “Suck on those, baby,” he said with a wink.

[Cfavano]

"Ugh, what are you, another Dark Purveyor? I've had enough of musician zombies!" She leaps over the first note, and then slices the second in half. Suddenly, the main body of her chainsaw changes into an engine, complete with exhaust pipes. "Here I come!" She slams the tip down, and the chainsaw whirs, pulling her along, and she runs with such speed that she leaves a trail. Getting to him, she pulls it upward, to cut him in half.

[Jacogos]

Richard vs. Juliet
Post #13

Bracing himself, Richard used the guitar to block the chainsaw. As expected, the motorized weapon tore the fake instrument in half, leaving Richard with two broken pieces. Flinging them aside, Richard materializes a green energy guitar, complete with spikes on the body.

“Then listen to this!” he said, swinging the fully-solid energy weapon at the blonde’s head. Afterwards, he sunk back into the lava, preparing a new attack.

[Cfavano]

Juliet raises the chainsaw to block the guitar, but only succeeds in slowing it down as it thwacks her in the head. "Ow." Putting her hand to her head, she feels blood. "You ruined my hair!" Juliet climbs closer to the top of the mountain, where the pools are shallower. She pops a lollipop into her mouth, while answering her phone. "Yes, daddy, I'm fine. This necromancer is just a big pussy."

[Jacogos]

Richard vs. Juliet
Post #15

“Would a pussy do this?” Richard cried as he rose from the lava, the magma following him in a literal wave of molten fire. Riding it with a surfboard, Richard held a hand up in demon horns.

“Cowabunga, bitches!” he yelled as the magma came crashing down on where Juliet was gabbing on the phone. During this, his cloak caught on fire, and he had to stamp that out post-haste.

[Cfavano]

She puts her phone away, and then jumps up on a rock to avoid getting hit. She then leaps off of the rock at Richard, twisting her body around, so slam him in the face with her ass. "Take that!"

[Jacogos]

Richard vs. Juliet
Post #17

Instead of moving, Richard takes the ass to the face. However, as she’s suspended there on his head, he attempts to wrap his arms around her waist, bending backwards inhumanly and, basically, trying to suplex her into the lava.

“SUPLEX!!” he cries, the words forming in midair somehow. Batman would be proud.

[Cfavano]

As Juliet is grabbed, she screams. "PERVERT!" And a big, sparkly aura bursts out of her body, solidifying the pond of lava they are on. It also gives her strength to break out of Richard's grasp, and Mickey (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoDxSgoVHG0) echoes off of her. She flips away, and thrusts her chainsaw at him. "Sicko!" She then does a pirouette and brings the saw down, aiming for his head.

[Jacogos]

Richard vs. Juliet
Post #19

Eyes widening, Richard lets go of Juliet, still in the tiger suplex position. Seeing the chainsaw come out again, Richard takes a breath and spins himself, break-dancing style, his legs coming up as he basically inverts himself while spinning. As this happens, one leg knocks her chainsaw aside while the other aims to kick her in the gut.

In closure, he lays on his side with his hand propping his head in a sexy pose. “Word.”

[Cfavano]

The kicks slightly staggers Juliet, but her sparkle aura protect her from injury. She jumps into the air above Richard, and then comes down on him from above, trying to drive her chainsaw through his chest like a stake, while she performs a split. "Didn't your momma ever tell you not to hit girls?"

[Jacogos]

Richard vs. Juliet
Post #21

“What was that? Sorry, I was staring at your cleavage,” Richard stated bluntly, repositioning himself slightly so that the chainsaw would miss slightly to his right while still being in his lazy pose. Then, body catching on fire, Richard lifted his leg at the perfect time, white bony limb coming up at a 90 degree angle to, quite literally, cunt punt her.

[Cfavano]

"Pervert!" Her trained reflexes allowed her to jump away right as his foot was going to come up. Her uniform was scorched from the fire, but otherwise undamaged. In midair, her saw changes to the blaster, and she unleashes a volley of shots at him. "Learn some manners!"

[Jacogos]

Richard vs. Juliet
Post #23

“I’ll have you know that I am QUITE well mannered!” he says, a monocle appearing out of nowhere on his left eye as he sips from a tea cup, pinkie extended. He seems to be seated on thin air, right leg crossed over the other and quite unphased about the blaster-shots. His fire seemed to be snuffing them out.

“A spot of tea, skank?” he offered, grasping a teapot from the air beside him.

[Cfavano]

"Ooh, are you trying to make me mad?" Juliet's aura disappears as she sucks on a lollipop. "I've barely warmed up!" She revs her chainsaw once more. She drags the blade along the ground behind her as she charges at him. As she approaches him, she flips her chainsaw to the front, activating her dash, and then leaping into the air, spinning like a drill with the saw as the point.

[Jacogos]

Richard vs. Juliet
Post #25

As the woman spirals toward him, Richard closes his eyes and bows, hands together in a typical monk-like salute. Then, as she comes closer, Richard sidesteps, turning to the side as she flies past and karate chops down at her midsection before she is out of range, crying out, "HYYYAAAAAAHH!!”

[Cfavano]

Richard's mistake was assuming that The chainsaw was the only attack. As Juliet spun, it had caused a cone of air to whip around her. And as his lowered his hand toward her, he would feel the immense force of it, could tear him apart.

[Jacogos]

Richard vs. Juliet
Post #27

Richard blinked as he suddenly was without an arm, watching as it flew off and landed in a puddle of lava, sinking down slowly.

"... Oh," he said, blinking, watching as the girl continued to spiral away. With his remaining left arm, Richard summoned up a torrent of cold and launched it at Juliet, intent on freezing her solid while she was still airborne. As he did this, he also moved towards where his arm had landed.

[Cfavano]

Juliet noticed the cold burst chasing her, and stabs the tip of her saw in the ground as an anchor, she halts her forward motion, and sucks under the cold. However, her pigtails got hit and they shatter. Holding her hand to her head, she feels the damage. "YOU RUINED MY HAIR! THAT'S UNFORGIVABLE!" She charges him again, aiming a low swipe meant to cut off his legs.

[Jacogos]

Richard vs. Juliet
Post #29

Grasping his arm that was on fire from the lava, Richard held it in his hand like a weapon, waiting for her to close in. His eyes squinted in readiness, and he leaped up in place at the last moment. Legs pulled up like a leaping bird, Richard extended his dismembered arm to grasp at her face, his body setting itself aflame.

"Your existence is unforgivable!" he said darkly, his murder-face on for the first time this fight.

[Cfavano]

She is hit by the slap, leaving a hand-shaped burn across her cheek. Juliet then hops backwards a few feet. "It's time to end this... In a single strike." She raises her chainsaw above her head, and the blade is pointing diagonally behind her, like a samurai. She suddenly rushes forward and swings once at him, aiming to cleave him in two. Then, she stops a few paces behind him.

[V]

testing post

[DoughGuy]

(Works fine, thanks mate)

BATTLE FINISH


As Juliet charges Richard with the chainsaw he reaches into his robes and dramatically pulls out the Fork of Truth! Holding it up to block the chainsaw he covers it in a blazing fire. As the chainsaw collides with it the fork cuts straight through the metal, snapping the blade in 2. Stunned by her chainsaw’s destruction Juliet is helpless as Richard swings the fork at her neck, decapitating the woman and sending her head tumbling to the ground.

Reattaching his arm as he walks over to her, Richard bends down and picks up her head with his right hand. “I’ve got a surprise for you!” he says smiling. He holds up his left hand to show her boyfriend’s severed head she normally carries around. “You 2 look so happy together.” Richard says, hearts of fire forming in his eyes. He attaches both to his belt and walks off into the sunset, happy to have reunited the happy couple.

Battle Winner: Richard

Hey there, Bee Bear and I will be your judges for tonight. If you have any problems with the judging please PM both of us so we can discuss them. Now without further ado the score.

Cfavano
Flow: 14/30
Susan: 29/30
Power: 19/30
Shazzam: 0/0
Total: 62/100

Jacogos
Flow: 19/30
Susan: 29/30
Power: 30/30
Shazzam: 10/10 for post #73
Total: 88/100

Match Winner: Jacogos

Judging Notes

This was a very enjoyable fight to judge. Richard is a very fun character to read and Juliet’s personality allowed for many great moments of interaction between the 2. Jac once again you were an excellent writer for Richard. Cf it was great to see you improve from your previous battle with Jac in all areas, keep it up.

Just a quick note please mention which arena you are in in the first post of a battle. Makes it easier for the judges.

In terms of flow first off Jac. Most of your issues were small ones which kept cropping up and causing a little confusion each time. There was some awkward tense switching early on and later on you had a couple of posts over the 75 word count. Your biggest problem however was an overuse of commas in places that didn’t need them. The problem with them is that constantly pausing for a comma ruins the flow and can make the text feel like its stuttering. Overall you just need to be a little more careful with your posts.

Cf your flow was your biggest problem again. First up a small issue which is addressing your character by their name every post, straight up. When switching between character perspectives its important to make the distinction straight way. Never refer to them by a pronoun first, always by name. There were a few posts that Bee and I also felt were ... lacklustre in terms of quality. They looked rushed and unedited. Remember to double check everything before you post. You also had a problem with overusing commas and, in one post, full stops. As I said with Jac this creates a bad stuttering feel. Try to cut down and only place them where they are needed. There were also a few very short posts by you. The problem with a short post is you don’t give enough description of what you do. They don’t follow on from the last post well due to their lack of information. Finally you had some follow on problems. Posts where your actions at the start of your post didn’t match your actions at the end of your last one. Make sure to reread your last post before you start your new one to prevent this.

On susan you were both very good. Jac you had a single post where you didn’t give enough which cost you one point. Cf you lost most of your susan in your short posts where Juliet did not speak or anything besides attack. Remember to use any extra words you have for susan.

On Power Jac you were perfect. There is one suggestion we have to make though. Richard’s Materialisation magic could be expanded upon. When he summoned the guitar we originally docked you points for a non CS weapon (since you used it to block) before we realised you could summon it. Just giving a small description in the CS listing what it does and its limitations would really help.

Cf you were fairly good with power but you made a few mistakes. First of all you used non CS abilities in the battle. Juliet’s sparkle aura mentions nothing about improved defences yet in post #70 you said it protected her from damage. That’s the sort of thing you have to be careful about since it may be true in game, but unless it’s in the CS we have to dock you for it. There were also some times when you failed to account for your opponent’s reaction. Like in post #64 when you rubbed your head then climbed up a mountain in front of Richard only to answer your phone. That’s a lot of actions where Richard was apparently standing around doing nothing. Remember to keep it realistic. Finally you had a single issue with the autohit rule. In post #54 you jumped onto Richard, a valid move, but then pushed him into the lava and leapt away safely, that’s not. By dictating actions after the autohit you didn’t give Richard a chance to counter the autohit. This was also a case of not giving your opponent a chance to react.