The Story Police {IC}

[Tunnel 17]

Some stations were cluttered,trash and other undesirables were strewn about their little plane of existence.Others were threadbare,only what is needed and nothing more.While still others went above and beyond the theory of the latter and had literally only what you needed to survive.Morgan Freeman/Stephen Fry (From now to be called Morphen Freefry) was one of the latter.His "station" was an endless white expanse with literally nothing but four beds and a desk.He was due to receive his next shipment of soldiers soon,he seemed to go through them like napkins so he'd decided to start them off easy this time.

He already had two portals set up,one to allow them to enter his plane from the great hallway and another to allow them entrance into the wonderful world of Mortal Kombat,where a relatively minor Mary Sue awaited dispatching.The team he'd had handed to him was a rag tag band of misfits,practically guaranteed to succeed through pure stereotype.A schizo named Eon,some girl with a paladin complex called Cancer,a bloodthirsty psycho called Copper and some quiet freak named Mobius Strip."Well,he better not do any stripping in here."Morphen laughed at his joke.


The aforementioned quiet freak was currently striding across the great hallway,blissfully unaware that he was being insulted by his new squad leader as he tried not to think.Thinking was normally a good thing,it was normally a very good thing;but in the hallway as long as your train of thought stayed on its tracks you would never get anywhere.You would be trapped in this giant maze with its anachronistic parts.An old west floor with a futuristic organic roof that pulsated in rhythm to your heartbeat and a pair of modern walls painted in horribly clashing colors.I mean,green and pink?I know you're supposed to be an eldritch abomination that defies all known Euclidean geometry but seriously?

That was one of the more normal bits of it.In order to waylay his mind Mobius was currently thinking of whether androids dreamt of electric sheep which branched off into whether the electric sheep dreamt of anything and before he knew it he was at the door he'd been looking for and wondering if you could reproduce the roller coaster blackout affect with a noose.Just on a hunch he turned around and nodded,the only way out or in was blocked by a collapsed roof,the hallway freaked him out sometimes.He cracked his neck and coughed,thought about how he could have done that without a mouth,and opened the door into his new Station.

[Familiar]

It was the simple things in life, sometimes, that truly made it worth living. A loving family, A peaceful day, a smile. Copper didn't have any of these things, but he had heard on more than one occasion that they were worth obtaining. Well, at least one of them anyways; family and peace had never really seemed all that interesting to the dusty looking figure; they were always the same, never changing, boring. Smiles on the other hand, Copper didn't think he would ever get bored of the smiles. Seeing that look in a Sue's eye when they caught a glimpse of his joy, feeling his lips curl upwards even as the OC's dropped, showing as much tooth as humanly possible and then stretching it just a little further; it was a lot of fun. Of course, he didn't have a mouth at the moment so focusing on it was rather academic. For now he satisfied himself with merely attempting to smile.

'Let those fancy symbols preen' Copper though to himself, 'all of that intricacy means no flexibility. You should be able to do this, the symbols the same if it has a curve in it, you aren't changing it... Just curve the bottom line...' (X^2 -1) minutes later Copper found himself standing in front of the door that he supposed would take him to his new home.

He had heard of spartan, but this was ridiculous. Just beds? seriously? 'On the plus side, maybe it means that we'll be in the field most of the time...'
Regardless, Copper generally felt like having something to look at, something other than just beds at least. Well, there was one other thing, another operative 'Nice colour...' that he supposed was named Infinity, or maybe Mobius, could even be Ouroboros if you looked at some of the newer examples. Why supposed? well, whoever the black figure was, he hadn't said a word to copper thus far, and it was probably more fun trying to guess what his name would be than actually finding out.

'Still though, it would be nice to have some air of mystery about your name' Copper thought wistfully. What was his symbol? Copper. What was his name? Copper. What colour did they decide to make him? no points for guessing... And with that thought in his head, Copper sat down on one of the rooms sparse furnishings and waited to see what would happen next.

[AliceMalice15]

Eon skipped lightly down the hall her thoughts switching between colors, mathmatical equations, various scientific therories, and what she would eat on her first assignment. As she skipped down the hallway she passed under the organ roof she looked up and giggled. 'Ooh,'she thought, 'that's entertaining! I may have to visit here often!' Eon shrugged and continued skipping until she reached the door to her new station.

Walking in she immediately spotted her new squad mates. Placing her hand on her hip she looked them over. Then she looked up an sighed.

"These are my squad mates," she asked sounding peeved, "The one is too obvious, and the other looks like a total downer. Do I really have to put up with them?"

Then her mood switched again back to happy and she giggled.

"Hiya I'm Eon," she said perkily, "your name must be Copper. like the element! Sorry about that comment a minute ago. I'm just a bit bipolar. This is going to be fun!"

[Lady Celeste]

Cancer made a point to only look ahead as she passed through the great hallway. It was pleasantly weird, true enough, but thinking too much about it only made her dizzy. Besides that, sometimes it was just better to walk slowly and enjoy the view as much as possible without getting lost, and in this mindset it made the hallway look all the more beautiful in its own special way.

The station, however, lacked the creative originality she'd come to appreciate in the hallway, the rather plain sight of only four beds and a desk leaving her somewhat uneasy. Her apparent squad mates did little to settle her nerves in that respect, with one guy making an almost futile attempt to smile for some reason, another male just keeping to himself in the corner, and a female doing most of the talking in the room - quite unusually at that. Well, until either of the men on this squad decided to speak up, perhaps a little chat with the girl would help ease the transition a bit.

"Oh I'm sure it will be." She stated simply, walking toward the only bed thus far that wasn't occupied. "Especially afterward when you get to make fun of your kills. Why the Mary Sues insist on making that so easy is beyond me." For the time being she sat onto the bed and observed the three, waiting for the response that would no doubt come from at least one of the males, assuming they heard right. "Eon, hm? I'm Cancer, like the sign. Or the disease, depending on what species I'm talking to."

[AliceMalice15]

Eon frowned as another girl walked in and began talking. When she was done Eon snorted and rolled her eyes mood changing faster than the temperature of the air.

"Oh yeah really something," she scoffed, "a girl named after a disease, with a brain the size of a Mouse's toenail. Jeez the things I have to put up with. The Sues don't make it easy it's merely how they are. Geez I'm tired of you people."

Win stretched out on her bed and looked up at the ceiling. Then her mood switched again and she began to giggle incecently. 'This is going to be a long mission,'she thought burying her face in her pillow, 'I really need some meds.' Eon began to cry into her pillow as her mood once again changed.

[Familiar]

"The one is too obvious," 'Ouch.' "I'm just a bit bipolar. This is going to be fun!"

Copper had worked with Bipolars before, they were a surprisingly common sight within the force. Mostly it was the paired symbols, Gemini and the like. Actually, Gemini had been on his last team, and she was one of the major reasons why this Eon being a bipolar made this whole situation a little better. They were insane, if other people were to be believed there was a strong possibility that HE was insane... Bipolars and him made a good match, laughing and screaming at the chaos created. One thing that he noticed about Bipolars; they generally seemed to stay happy as long as something was burning in their general vicinity.

That was when Cancer elected to make her appearance, and while it was fairly apparent that she was sane, at least compared to Eon, she did have a very apparent and very potent hated for the Sues. He couldn't say anything about the as of yet silent partner, but the other three of them made it very clear that this wasn't exactly going to be one of those 'in and out' stealthy type groups. That suited Copper just fine.

"Yeah, I'm Copper, horribly obvious isn't it..." It was a statement, not a question. "Regardless, it's a pleasure to be working with you. I had the pleasure of working with Gemini on my last squad. And yeah, the post-mortem mockery has always been one of my favourite parts as well; you ever been to a Bond 'fic? God those are fun. Nowhere else does sending somebody off with an egracious pun seem quite as appropriate as in one of those." Gaah, all this talking was killing him, he was just itching it get to the real thing.

It seemed as though agreed with him in this, or, something. It was never easy telling what bipolars were on about, one of the quirks of the condition he supposed.

"So, Voice," Copper looked up and into the pure white middle-distance as he began speaking, he never really knew why but it had always seems appropriate. "Where exactly are we going on this one?"

[AliceMalice15]

Eon's mood brightened up again and she lept across from her bed on to Coppers wrapping her arms around his neck.

"That's ok," she giggled, "I kinda like it. It's simple and easy. Kinda rolls off the....er tounge... And what does working with Gemini have to do with anything?"

Then she flipped backwards landing between the beds and dissolved into giggles. This was fun. Then she found some dust and she screamed scrambling back over to the otherside of Coppers bed. Eon ended up in a corner of the room with her knees up to her chin staring wildly around as if she expected to be attacked.

[Familiar]

"Hm? Ah, I grew up -ish, kinda." It was always hard, at least for Copper, to try and use standard human expressions on creatures like himself. "Erm, I'm not explaining this well. My first team, while I was still getting broken in, comprised of myself, Silver, Gold and some poor bastard named Unununium." It was at this point that Copper elected to break from his narrative to snicker slightly to himself.

Unununium still cracked him up. None of them had gotten out well on the names, predictability and all, but Un didn't even get a proper symbol. They had just stuck three U's on his face and called it a day. The sheer laziness of it always made Copper laugh. "*Ahem* Anyways, we were all elements in the same group on the periodic table. I had always kind of assumed that they did a theme naming thing. You're in a certain batch you get a certain sort of name. Am I wrong?"

Man it was taking a while for the Voice to come around... wait, how could something take a while here? Time wasn't even linear! But then how exactly could he have gotten there before? Copper quickly closed off that lane of thought. Working with bipolars was all well and good, but he didn't really have any desire to become one. For now he simply laid his head back against the bedpost and tried once again to smile.

[Lady Celeste]

Cancer huffed indignantly at the insult. Well, if that's how Eon was going to be... she let it drop for now, sitting cross-legged at the bed she'd commandeered and closing her eyes. Meditation was more necessary for her older sister, Scorpio, than it was for her, but it still had its benefits. That, and Eon's impulsive ramblings were already annoying her, and this was just day one! For now she just let it all drop, her conscious mind seeping inward to drown out the voices surrounding her now. One thing was for sure; the sooner her first mission came, the better.

[Tunnel 17]

Mobius was in awe.He'd been in a few different groups before,they'd all been very down low on how everything.You went in,killed the Sue,disposed of the body and went out.Everything was simple and quick,this group sent chills down his spine.He seemed to be the only one who hadn't spoken and the only one who hadn't chosen a bed yet while everyone else snarked and insulted the others.Maybe they'll all kill each other and I'll get reassigned?he thought,the edges of his symbol twisting to create the illusion of a smile.

"I really should just send you all into My Immortal and just let it shell shock you into some semblance of sanity."The voice surprised and scared Mobius with its suddenness and intensity,causing him to reflexively turned white to hide better in the room."Unfortunately the higher ups have told me that I can't just chuck you into a random story and wait until you come back out since leaving your corpses there 'violates canon' and I have to go in and get you.So I've set up a minor sue,you'll have to kill some guards to get to her but she herself will probably be too busy throwing snot and tears about the place to fight back."

The voice spoke so suddenly yet it didn't wait for them to listen and kept on speaking as if it didn't care whether they heard it or not,which listening deadpan manner in which it spoke was kind of a good guess.The air in the Station crinkled and popped for a few seconds before a stack of copies materialized on the desk,"Read them.Memorize them.Those are scripts for the story,they'll tell you what happens in the story and they might just save your asses."Mobius stood there for a few seconds before speaking,"So,so..um...when is the mission?"

"Next sleep cycle."The voice said,"I'll give you a while to mingle and read the story before I send you into the fray."The voice went quiet and Mobius looked around at his mates,"Suppose it'll be as easy as he says it will be?"

[AliceMalice15]

When the voice began to speak all of Eon's attention went to it and she sat up with her legs crossed under her. When it finished she looked over at Mobius a slow smile spreading across her face.

"Well," she said, "I guess we'll find out won't we? I'm Eon n'y the way, but you probably already knew that. What's your name?"

Eon began to flip quickly through the pages of the book. Though she was bipolar she could read over 20000 word per minute. Eon finished the entire copy in less than 10 minutes. Then she smiled up at her group mates and set the copy aside.

"This one sounds like fun," she chirrped, "I can't wait to try some of the food!"

[Familiar]

Copper had never really been a huge fan of the Mortal Kombat series. Sure he'd heard about it, even played some of the games once or twice in some of the more 'normal' universes he'd been to. He knew the main characters of course, but he didn't claim to know the nuances of the plot or the finer points of the supporting cast. Despite that, despite all that, he could still tell before even the end of the target profile just how horribly our of sync this character was with the rest of the universe.

Morgan was probably right in saying that this wasn't the sort of sue that would put up too much of a fight when cornered. Still, it could be worrying if some of the canon characters started to get in their way. Sub Zero might be a problem in this one... Not to mention all of the Lin Kuei guards and Shang Tsung who would be hostile for pretty much anyone. Still it was an introductory mission, get to know the team and all that. Copper wanted to make sure that this went off without a hitch. He had heard rumours of My Immortal; a fic so legendarily bad that no team had yet to conquer it.Copper had no desire to enter that particular realm of madness, and if what he needed to do to ensure he stay out of it was make this voice happy, than so be it.

After finishing his skim through the story, all he could do was stare at Eon incredulously. "You're looking forward to the food? You're presented with this setup, in a universe where massive deathtraps and hilariously brutal finishing moves are both commonplace and you look forward to the food?" Copper paused to sigh, perhaps slightly melodramatically. "Ah well, we'll work on it." Adding under his breath "I'll have you acting like a credit to your mental instability before this team is though, I promise you that."

"So, " Copper added to the group as a whole. "We got some time, anybody got any cunning plans? or y'know, interesting stories, something?" Leaning back against his bed's metal frame, Copper attempted to get comforable and settle in. This could be a long wait.

[Lady Celeste]

Cancer took one quick, skimming glance through the transcripts provided by the Voice, and she knew just by that that she didn't need to read through the whole thing to understand who she was up against. "Don't get too comfortable about this, any of you. The Sue alone is no threat, but she's one of an army, and their creator has enslaved the Mortal Kombat fandom as a whole for years now." She said firmly, only to huff out a sigh and fall back against the bed. The latter sentence had just brought back a flood of memories she'd hoped to completely repress.

Now that meditation was pointless with her concentration broken, she may as well proceed with the planning stages. "The creator's main target is always Sub-Zero, as I'm sure the script already says, but we also have other canons to think about. She's also been known to brainwash Frost, Shao Kahn, Kano, Mileena... I could go on all day. And to top it all off, I've seen her invite her boyfriend and various other friends to join in her sick games, and the end result is even worse." She practically threw her script to the floor and dusted off her hand, half-expecting there to be some sort of filth there, and then she turned away. Cancer hadn't even begun to fully explain her personal experiences with this Sue, and to be honest she'd really rather not need to do so.

[Familiar]

"Hang on," Copper said, not entirely sure of what he was hearing "your telling me, that this girl, invites her BOYFRIEND to come on and help her obsess over a fictional male character? That's just wrong. Seriously."

Copper tossed the file in his hand off the side of his bed with a contemptuous glance. before turning that gaze to his bed. This had to be one of the weepier Sues he'd seen in a while, but the MK guys were no slouches. With his powers he could probably put up a pretty decent fight against the straight physical combatants like Kano, Mileena or Baraka, but against someone like Sub Zero or Shang Tsung he didn't fancy his chances. Come to think of it, did agents even have souls for Shang Tsung to drain? Regardless.

"Alright, I don't know how you guys are used to operating, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and take a wild guess that at least one of us," Copper paused momentarily to look at Mobius "is slightly stealthy. The Sue's stuck in the middle of a base, filled to the brim with trained fighters, both bit characters and major players. My idea is this, me and anyone else that have offensive powers show up at their doorstep, make lots of noise, and then try to hold them off for as long as we can. The stealthier members of our little group o in the back, sneak down to the bowels of the place and pick the Sue off without anyone knowing. How's that sound?"

[AliceMalice15]

Eon smiled as wide as possible at the thought of making noise. That was one thing she was exellent at. Eon stood up and began to spin about the room like a top. When she stopped she fell to the floor giggling and holding her head.

"Whoo hoo," she said happily, "this is going to be fun! I can't wait! No one can make more noise than me!!!!"

Eon giggled and stood up nearly falling down because she was dizzy. Then she looked up at the ceiling and raised her arms . She was so excited!!! This would be a fun mission. She couldn't wait to get started!

[Lady Celeste]

Cancer opted to let the entire story drop with Copper's remark, though the barely audible flare of nostrils answered Copper's first question for him. He then saw fit to relay his idea for a plan to the others, which actually made sense, except for one crucial point.

"She can teleport." Cancer pointed out. "Don't ask me why, but for some reason the creator always saddled me with a Sue who could teleport anywhere she wanted whenever she wanted to. The minute she sees an attacker she can't handle, I'm willing to bet she'll just pop away and come back when we drop our guard." The script should have explained that, but it was very much worth repeating. "No, we need someone on the inside to gain her trust before we move in. I should still have my old informants based in this story, assuming they weren't killed or forced out like the rest of the friendly forces." She said nothing more on the matter, if only for now. Who was to say the Network didn't already catch wind of their assignment? If any of their bugs were to make it in here, any slip of the informants' names could put them in danger.

[Tunnel 17]

"Well..um...stealth is kind of my specialty."Mobius responded to Copper's gaze over at his direction."I can sort of blend in with the background,see."In a moment Alex's black skin would slowly lose color until he matched the perfect white of he background.Even his symbol faded and went away,though you could still make out that something was there if you focused a bit.The air where Mobius had once been spoke"It..it doesn't really work if you're actively searching for someone since the air kind of distorts around me but..uh...it can still work if I'm standing still or they're not looking."

Killing wasn't his thing.He hated Mary Sues as much as anyone else here,it seemed to be built into their systems,but murder was something he partook of in very sparing amounts and having to kill someone in cold blood was a little disconcerting.He'd done it before,several times in fact,and each time it came a little bit easier."Well actually we sort of can't be spotted by her guards because we technically don't belong or exist in the world.Secondly,I guess I could sneak behind her while she's crying and while you're making all that racket to take her out quite easily."

[Familiar]

"Great, " Copper said excitedly. Things were starting to actually be put into action, "so now we have two plans..." He turned briefly to face Mobius, before adding "I know that the guard themselves won't be too much of a problem, but, and this is entirely guess work given how much the Sue shifts around in this story, she has more than one Canon around her. Kano, Mileena are both out of character enough to notice us, Frost and Sub-Zero are basically 'In-Name-Only' so they're definitely threats. I'm not even sure if Shao-Kahn is in this anymore, but he was OOC too. The goal would be to get them out of the way, not necessarily all of the small fry. Hopefully that will give you enough time to try and get to the Sue without her seeing you. Then..." Turning to Cancer now, "if that little plan fails, she'll go running off to her allies and we can try some backstabbing of a more, metaphorical, nature. That work?"

[Lady Celeste]

"Works for me." Cancer nodded. "But first I have to make sure they're even available. I may need to do some scouting for other friendlies before you try anything." She turned ever so slightly toward Eon. The girl had been yammering on about how excited she was to be going on this mission, but not once had she ever mentioned a plan of any kind. Cancer knew she would probably regret this, but this was a team effort so it still had to come out some time.

"Any plans you want to share, Eon?"

[AliceMalice15]

Eon stopped talking and became very still when Cancer spoke to her. Then she looked up and scratched her chin thoughtfully. Then she nodded to herself before gazing over at Cancer.

"Actually," she said, "there may be a way to have the characters get rid of the sue naturally. I've found that the power of suggestion works quite well. Especially with those of the evil alignement. Though this Sub-Zero character seems like he'd be able to get rid of her easily. Heck he'd probably see it as an improvement."

Eon shrugged nonchalantly and stood up stretching her arms and shuffling over to her bed. Flopping down she yawned tiredly. This thinking stuff made her sleepy. Eon giggled and scrunched up into a tight ball.

"Well I'm gonna take a nap," she yawned, "wake me up when we get ready to leave. Geez thinking is hard work."