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View Full Version : Keb - A recipe for Booze, Blood and Mayhem.



L
06-09-2010, 07:08 AM
Chapter 1:
And these are nice Goblins!

The mountain range where our hero's life begins has no name and is far from any real civilization – it remains untouched by human or elf influence or by the touch of war. Near the bottom of that mountain, as these creatures don't like heights, on the edge of a massive forest is the home of a small goblin hoard known as Clan Ironbrain to no one – not even themselves. They call themselves something I can't really repeat here, so I'm just going to call them Clan Ironbrain to protect everyone's innocence.

This Clan, which numbers no more than a hundred, lives out a tough, uneventful life. They survive on fish from the river which passes directly through their little village and spend their days doing pretty much nothing, except for one particular day of the year which I'll get to soon enough.

If an elf ever passed through this village he would probably say that these Goblins were stupid. While they could talk (though no one knows where they learned how) there was little else the little monsters could do. None of the Goblins bathed, their homes were nothing more than a ragged mix of mud and sticks and they still caught dinner with their hands. Dinner of course was eaten raw – it's a little known fact that Clan Ironbrain created sushi. Their sushi didn't involve seaweed or rice. Neither did it taste particularly good. But invent it they did, though they never received credit for this act. The Elf would have shaken his head and kept walking, pretending to have never seen the Clan in the first instance for fear of being laughed out of his city.

Since no Elf has ever passed through the home of Clan Ironbrain, though, we don't have to worry what he was thinking now, do we?

It is widely considered by this Clan that the night Keb Ironbrain was born is, without a doubt, the worst night in the history of all things. In fact, Keb's Birthday has become a holiday for the remaining clan mates in which they spend the whole day rolling around in mud and howling at the moon for forgiveness.

The moon has never really cared though, on account of it being an inanimate object with no thoughts or feelings. Clan Ironbrain are yet, some 100 years later, to figure this out.

-

The night Keb was born was dark and stormy - a normal night in this mountain range – and the little mud and straw house where Keb's mother was in labor bulged at the seams – as she did - as the mud softened from the water.

Frequently members of the Clan would die from their house collapsing on them, but the survivors never seemed to realize that they should probably try making houses that didn't kill them.

The labor itself was intense and lasted for hours. Finally little Keb Ironbrain was born, wailing and flailing his little arms as all babies are prone to do when they suck in their first breathe of real air.

For Keb, that first taste of fresh, chill air disgusted him and he's hated it ever since.

-

Keb, 5 years old, crouched by the river fiddling with a long, dried branch that he had stripped of its off shoots. The branch long piece of vine tied to it while the other end dangled in the water.

When it tugged, Keb excitedly yanked it from the water with a fish squirming on the end of it. When it landed in the dirt next to him, Keb quickly grabbed it and started ripping in to its flesh with his dagger shaped teeth.

Many of the Clan looked on, shaking their heads.

-

'The boy is a DEMON!' (Well, what was actually said was a high pitched 'ThbyaDAMON!' but I'll translate)
What passed for a chief in the Clan jumped up and down excitedly as most of the Clan huddled around him in one of the cramped houses. Keb, snarling and biting at anything that came within a foot of him, was tied to a tree stump that poked up from the ground in the dead center of the house.
'FACK YOU!' Keb spat on the Clan Chief, then bared his teeth in a savage grin, 'Keb not bad!' Even at such a young age Keb was capable of articulating himself much better than the rest of the Clan, another thing that always managed to stir the others up in to a frenzy of hate and rock pelting.
The other Goblins scurried around, some jumping, others throwing things at the young Goblin.
'He strange, defective, must die, not contaminate Clan!' The chief pointed at Keb with a stick, thought for a second, then smacked Keb over the head with it, drawing a small ounce of blood. 'Must die, must cleanse evil – kill Keb!'
A chorus of high pitched yelling from the rest of the clan nearly deafened Keb and the Clan leader, but all of it was support for the chief's plan (except for a mouse in the corner, but it was squeaking for everyone to shut up more than in support of Keb)

Keb had no time to prepare a plan of anything as he was assaulted by many sharp claws – some tearing at him, others untying his binds and others yet dragging him out of the tent. The Chief stayed close, smacking him over and over with the stick. All Keb could do was squirm, yelling out words that he had created himself and sounded particularly vile, even for a Goblin. The mass of Goblins would not be stopped though, and before any of them thought any better, tossed him in to the deepest, widest part of the river.

The Goblins of Clan Ironbrain can't swim.

Unfortunately for them in this instance, the river that runs through the center of the village is only chest deep on even the smallest Goblin, at the deepest point, so they don't need to swim.

Keb took a moment to splash and flounder in the water, mostly due to the shock of being thrown in to the lake and the coldness of the water, before realizing this point.

He recovered his wits and stood in the water. Looking around he realized he had an opportunity and moved towards the opposite shore where that part of the village was mostly deserted. He was already out of the water before any of the other Clan members realized and stopped their insane giggling and howling.

The giggling then turned to shrieking and howling as they realized that their fail-proof death sentence was, indeed, failing. Then stones started flying past Keb's head as he began to run out of the village and towards the large forest where no Goblin of Clan Ironbrain ever ventured.

None of the Goblins stopped to think that they could just cross the lake, as Keb had, and follow their escaping prey. They simply stood and screamed and threw rocks in frustration.

Keb has always been infinitely grateful for their stupidity.

The exiled Goblin ran in to the forest without so much as looking back at his former home. He didn't stop running until he was exhausted and could no longer force himself to put one foot in front of the other.

So Keb, exiled, homeless and hungry (as always), began his new life – one which would eventually lead to Fable.

L
06-16-2010, 10:58 AM
Chapter 2
Keb, Dwarfs and... Fabric?

60 years later


When Keb first saw the city of Norburg his first reaction was to run away from such a monstrosity. In 60 years of traveling the goblin had never seen a large city and Norburg was a city that could intimidate even the most hardened man. Its walls towered 70 feet high and 25 feet thick. Every part of Norburg screamed 'unassailable'. Since Norburg had never been attacked in its entire history many of its citizens argued that the walls were unnecessary, though the Kings had always maintained it was because of the walls that the city had never been attacked.

The resulting logic-loop could make a person's head pop, so best not to dwell on that thought too long.

By this point in his life Keb had traveled widely on his own little continent and he stumbled into many villages, small and large. The reception he received was almost always... exciting. More often than not he was stoned out. A few times villagers had cowered in fear in their houses. He had, however, managed to learn the basics of civilization – basic reading, money, trade.

In one village, a man – not quite right in the head – had mistaken Keb for his long-lost pet iguana and proceeded to try and hug Keb. The Goblin bit the man's finger off and put an end to that.

For those interested, the Iguana had indeed run away from its overly-affectionate owner and was now relaxing in a life of luxury with the hottest girl-iguana on the planet. The nightmares of his owner's affection still haunted him until he died of old age.

But never had Keb seen such a massive construction as Norburg before this morning.

Keb hobbled down the massive stone path-way leading towards Norburg. His eyes never left the tall rock walls and he could see large creatures in armor walk along the top wall with long pointed spears.

Luckily for him there were few people on the road early in the mornings and most of them walked by the curious little goblin with only a slight look of disdain or curiosity.

Keb was still looking at the city's fortifications when he walked straight in an old woman. The woman was not much larger than Keb, hunchbacked and had large bald patches amongst gray hair. A rotted tooth poked through her closed mouth and her long pointed nose had been broken in the distant past. She wore rags and nothing on her feet.

The woman spat on Keb, smacked him with her walking cane and pushed the Goblin out of her way as she attempted to continue walking. 'Stupid little fuck, watch where you're going or I'll serve you up for dinner. That's all your kind is good for'

Letting out a savage snarl Keb pounced on the woman's back and hammered at her with his claws. She let out one short scream before Keb slashed her throat to silence her. When the woman lay in a pool of blood on the paving, Keb dragged the crone by her hair in to the trees that lined the path, all the while muttering to himself. 'Stupid woman. Keb not dinner. Keb make YOU dinner!'


-


He heard the crashes first. Then yelling. Rbir placed the pen on his desk calmly and looked up at the closed door of his office.

Rbir could make out the voices of at least 2 of his enforcers in the commotion. He could also hear another, high pitched voice swearing.

'Problem?' The man sitting in the chair opposite from Rbir leaned back against the back of the chair. He toyed with an odd curvy stone dagger. Black curly hair draped over his shoulders and he had a crease in his brow and glint dark, green eyes.

Drunk fool's wandered in to the shop again, Rbir thought. He smiled at his guest. 'No, Nothing I'm sure. Just a customer getting enthusiastic. Let me go sort it out and we can get back to the Mage' he said. He stood and made his way to the front of the shop.

Rbir the Dwarf was stocky. Long blonde hair and beard tied up in multiple braids and anyone would think he was a typical, run of the mill, Dwarf.
Rbir, however, ran the largest fabric warehouse in the lands. He was brutal in his business dealings, a sly money man, and he knew style. In all, Rbir was a wealthy business man.

He was not, however, a fighter. Rbir spent a fortune on mercenaries to act as enforcers for that ugly job. The Dwarf could tell precisely the thread count on any fabric that came through his stores – but had no weapon training. He could color match dresses with sublime ease, had even dressed the King's daughters numerous times for galas – but the sight of blood, especially on clothing, made him turn green and sickly.

The day Keb wound up in his store was a day Rbir would never forget in his lifetime.

As he stepped out of his office, Rbir was greeted with the site of a goblin, shabbily dressed and dirt caked everywhere, attempting to squirm free of Draf – his largest Enforcer. As Rbir walked in to the room he noticed there was blood trickling down Draf's arm and face. Two other Enforcers had blood on them as well. Unconcerned, Rbir turned back to Draf and the goblin. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the blood dripping down on his rugs – expensive, rare, rugs – and his face turned red.

'What in the god's names do you fools think you're doing!' he said.

The sudden shout from Rbir stopped Keb and Draf in their tracks. Draf looked to his employer, his face turning red. Keb, however, couldn't have cared less about the Dwarf shouting, bit the large man's nose.

With a large yelp, Draf loosened his grip on the goblin, giving Keb all the time he needed.

Keb squirmed from the bear hug the massive Draf currently had him in, deftly dropped to the floor, and bit – hard – in to the Enforcer's ankle.

He ran for the entrance, past the shocked Rbir. Before leaving though, with Rbir, the Enforcers and customers watching on, Keb defecated on one of the large rugs that was rolled up on a stack. Then he ran, hard, from the shop, yelling curses behind him as he went.

After a second of complete, utter silence, Rbir broke it by shouting at his hired goons. 'Follow him you idiots, get him! Kill him!'

The men ran out of the shop after Keb.

The large man, now standing behind Rbir, chuckled softly. The sound coming from him was less amusing and more creepy.

'Kill that Goblin... and I'll tell you everything' was all Rbir said.