"Trust me. It'll be as easy as pie."
Brenna eyed Jane from her side of the picnic table suspiciously. "Easy as pie? Have you ever tried to make pie? It's not that easy. First, you have to blend together the different materials to make just-"
"Pft," Jane interrupted, "Fine. It's easy as eating pie. Okay?"
"No... cause that involves stuff, too. Like getting a place setting, washing up, finding a knife, getting-"
"OH FORGET I SAID ANYTHING. It's going to be easy, okay?"
"I don't think so..." Brenna responded, looking down and avoiding Jane's eye.
"What? Why not? Wait... Is this still about the history test?"
"That, and the science project, the library books and about a thousand other things."
"Fine. I admit I was wrong then. BUUUUUT this time, it'll be different. It's going to be easy, and we will not mess up anything at all."
"That's what you said last time."
"But this time, I know it won't. I promise."
With a sigh, Brenna got up from her seat. "Fine, I'll do it. I assume we'll meet here?"
Jane responded, still seated and with a big grin, "Thank you. See you at 10."
"Sounds good. Now I've got to go, if I don't get home soon my mother will kill me." Brenna turned, and began the walk from the park to her house. As she left, she could hear Jane shouting behind her. You won't regret it, the other said. "Yeah, right." Jane muttered under her breath. She regretted it already.
It was 10:00am on the first Saturday of May. Most of the world was already awake- well, at least most of the natural world. And the park was no exception. The birds were chirping, the bees were buzzing, and the dogs were pulling on their leashes, attempting to take bites out of the frisking squirrels.
And at a particular old picnic table, located under a particular old oak, a young girl sat, scribbling in a fuzzy pink notebook. She looked up, then at her watch, then, with an exasperated sigh, went back to writing. Then, from up a small footpath, another young girl came running. They were about the same age, but this one had long black hair instead of medium length brown. As she approached, the one sitting closed her notebook and looked up.
"Sorry... I'm... late... Jane." the one with black hair said, it between pants, "I... got.. here... as... fast... as-"
"It's okay, Brenna. Your mom always makes you do weird stuff. Sit down. Rest a little. I'll go over the plan."
Brenna sat, and Jane turned to the back of her notebook and pulled out a couple of sheets of loose leaf paper.
"So," Jane began, eagerly, "Here's the plan." she leaned in close to the still panting Brenna and began to whisper: "The balloons are already at my house. I got my older brother-"
"You got Daniel to help us?!? How'd you do that?"
"Well, he wanted to help."
"More like he's waiting for us to get in trouble..."
"No, he wants to help. Anyway, he went to the store and rented some helium tank-"
"Wait... Where'd you get the money for that? "
"Well, some of its from my allowance. And I got the rest from the fountain."
"WHAT?!?"
The fountain, famous enough that the word "the" included in its title, was a centerpiece of the city park. As such, it was rather wide, almost a full fifteen feet in diameter, and taller than the girls themselves. At the bottom, as around the bottom of most fountains, was a ring of coins. They were mostly pennies, of course, but there were also some dimes, nickels and quarters, and even a few presidential dollars. That there was plenty of money in it was not in question, rather, the question how she got the money out without getting seen. In fact, once she recovered from shock, Brenna asked that very question.
"How... how... how did you get into the fountain?... Did anyone see you?"
"I snuck out two nights ago." Jane replied, in a nonchalant voice, "It was the middle of the night, and no one saw me. Oh wait... the night guard did, but he just smiled and turned the other way."
"I can't believe you did that."
"We needed the money more than the fountain."
"Still..."
"But back to the plan." Jane interjected, and then looked at her papers, before turning back to Brenna, "You brought the paper, I hope?"
"Of course. And some markers, too."
"Good. We'll go do it at my house. This first part's really easy. And when we finish, we can have pie. My mom's baking."
"There." Brenna finished the last touch on the card, adding another almost perfectly symmetrical five petal flower. She scooted her chair pack to admire her work. Flowers and vines filled the cover, encircling the neatly printed words "Happy Birthday". She gave a pleased sigh. "Everything's perfect."
"What you write in the inside?" Jane asked. She was finishing off a slice of pie on the other side of the table. Behind her, a short helium tank squatted on the floor, surrounded by at least a dozen colorful balloons.
"Dear Mr. Brung," Brenna began, reading, "I hope you are having a happy birthday. May it bring everything you wish and may you have many more. With love, Brenna and Jane." she paused, then continued, "P.S. Sorry for all the times we picked the flowers in your yard."
Jane sighed, "We only did that once."
"Uh, no. We've done it at least ten times."
"Well, most of the time we did not take that much."
"Still..."
"Whatever. Anyways, now that your finally done, we should get going." Jane got up
"Wait, I want to eat my pie first."
"You can do that after. It's almost one, and we need to get going cause I have flute lessons at three. And I really want to do this. Besides, it won't take long. I told you, it will be as easy as-"
"Fine." Brenna got up, and began to head slowly towards the door. She was pretty sure about the short part, but much less certain- actually, she doubted it completely- about the easy part.
Suddenly, her free hand- the other was holding the card- was grabbed by Jane. Dragging Brenna in one hand and the balloons in the other, Jane rushed towards the door. "Operation try to get into Mr. Grumps house has begun!"
"It's Mr. Brung." Brenna muttered. All she could do was hope Jane would remember when they walked across the street and got to his door.
~~~
Ding Dong
Jane pressed the doorbell, then squeezed against the wall, trying to hide behind the doorframe. Brenna did not even attempt to hide: it was pointless considering the balloons. Instead, she just stood in the doorway, in plain sight for whoever came to open the door. And the person who came would probably be Mr. Brung.
Mr. Brung was an older man, probably in his late fifties or early sixties. He had been living in this neighborhood for years, alone, and, although friendly enough to adults, could not tollerate kids. In fact, he had gotten such a bad reputation that most of the kids, Jane included, just called him Mr. Grumps. But it was not really his fault, after all, they were always trampling on his lawn and picking all his flowers. And the older kids in middle school and high school- they were worse! They often skated on his driveway late at night. And just last week, they had egged his house.
"Oh!" exclaimed Jane suddenly, "We forgot flowers! We need to go get some. Mr. Grumps loves flowers. Here- hold these." She shoved the balloons into Jane's free hand, and jumped off the porch.
"Wait!" Brenna called, "We don't have time to go to the store. We already rang the doorbell!"
"Don't worry." Jane replied, "I'll just pick a few from Mr. Grumps' yard."
"What? St-"
But it was too late. Jane had already broken off a few white bell shaped flowers, which was soon followed by some purple ones, and then a couple more white ones, but these separate. Brenna cringed.
"See?" said Jane, "I told you I wouldn't take long. Mr. Grumps still hasn't come to the door. He's a slow old person.
Brenna was about to respond when the door creaked open, revealing Mr. Brung. He stud there, in a long sleeved button up shirt, and blue jeans and books. His eyes glanced over the girls, and then- he saw the flowers Jane was holding. He suddenly closed the door, without saying anything, not even giving Jane enough time to finish saying the word "happy".
"My," Jane said, turning to Brenna, "Isn't he grumpy. Well, that didn't go as planned. Let's go back to my house and finish your pie." She hopped off the porch and started skipping back across the street.
Brenna began to follow, but as she was about to step off the porch, she turned back towards the door. She paused there for a bit, feeling sorry for old Mr. Brung. "Sorry" she whispered. Then, she turned around, and went back to Jane's house.
She found Jane waiting at the table. "Here's your slice." Jane said, pushing the plate towards her, "Mom said I couldn't touch it until you at least had a bite, so here's a fork. Try It. It's really good."
The pie did indeed look delicious. It was apple, and everything about it looked amazing. The apples looked crisp, the crust was a perfect golden brown, and the sugary glaze looked as sweet as could be. It was big, too. Almost an entire fourth of the pie. Jane had done a bit of pleading with her mother, and it seemed to have worked. Both girls stared at it hungrily.
Then. suddenly, Brenna stepped back. She looked at it one more time, as if questioning something, then turned to Jane and said, "I think I'm going to give this to Mr. Brung. Wait, no. I am going to give this to Mr. Brung."
"Wait, what?" Jane replied, startled, "Why would you do that? He's so mean. Plus-"
"It's his birthday. Plus, you picked his flowers. Again."
"But I only picked a few? He shouldn't be so mean. We needed them!"
"No, we didn't. So I'm going to give my slice of pie to him as an apology."
"Fine. I'll help you."
"Fine. But this time, let me lead."
"What? I never do anything wrong."
Brenna stared at Jane, "Never?"
"Okay," Jane responded meakly, "I messed up last time. We'll do it your way this time. I promise."
Brenna smiled, and the two of them headed towards the door.
"Operation make Mr. Brung happier has started!" Jane yelled, running out the door and across the street.
Brenna smiled, and followed Jane as fast as she could go without toppling the pie.
~~~
Ding Dong
This time, Brenna rang the door bell.
They waited, silently for the door to open. As soon as it did, and before Mr. Brungs could close it, Brenna spoke "HappyBirthday.Sorryabouttheflowers.Here,havesomepi e." She said it all in one breath, wanting to get it all out, apology and all, before Mr. Brungs closed the door on them again.
But he did not close the door, at least not right away. Instead, he looked over the girls closely, and then at the pie in Brenna's hand. Then, he smiled.
:You know girls," he began, "You're not so bad when your note in my garden. Thanks for the birthday wishes, and the pie. Apple's my favorite. But... I can't possibly eat that big of a slice all by myself. Why don't you come in, and we can share it."
As the two girls followed him into the kitchen, a sudden thought came to Jane, and she whispered it to Brenna, "See, I told you getting into Mr. Grumps' house would be as easy as pie."
"Yeah," Brenna responded, still whispering, "But don't forget, getting the pie is still quite difficult."
Kicks
08-30-2014, 05:53 AM
They told me it would be as easy as pie.
They lied.
And now they're dead.
But it didn't start out as this. And I didn't realize they were even liars until it was far too late. The sad truth was that I suppose, in a way, I had been asking for this all along. But I thought it would be so much easier than this. They told me it would be as easy as pie, after all! What liars. Dead liars.
Survival was never an easy thing. No, not in the new world. Not in these times. These cold, hard, dark times...
So how did it start? It goes back to the beginning. The very beginning. It all started with a spark. And that spark? Well, to say the least it ignited to a forest fire on steroids. It's a funny joke I like to tell myself in the worst of these awful times because my dad had been a firefighter before all of this. All of this hell.
And a literal hell it is.
We saw it in on the news first. But I doubted we were told the full truth about it. I don't know what it was that made me believe it was a lie. That all those reporters were liars. That all my friends were liars. Dead liars. I hate reminding myself of that. But I can't help it. No, I certainly can't even stand to think that I can't help it. But... but it's the truth. Because I know by the time I'm done writing this journal entry, I will be dead too.
My teacher had turned the news channel on in class. She said that it was important to keep up on current events. It was something we did every Monday. What a funny Monday that was. It almost seems unreal to have turned it on right at the perfect time. Right at the moment when we saw the factory ignite and blow.
The news reporter had been telling us that the workers had been evacuated after a short in some kind of circuit. I don't know. I can hardly even remember half the words she used. All I remember and know is that they were blaming it on a bad electrical unit.
That and the class's reaction when they saw it explode. We all knew soon it would reach us. A fire like that couldn't be contained so easily. No, not when it erupted from a chemical plant.
Was it seconds? Minutes?
Maybe it was decades.
But the alarm in the building went off. Lock down. We were going into lock down.
And that's when my friends turned to me. They turned to me and told me that surviving this would be as easy as pie. They said that my dad and many others would get to work on this in no time. And that everyone would be safe.
I had hope it wasn't a lie. But the smoke we choked on was anything but a lie.
It was when it poured in beneath our classroom door that I realized... no. No we weren't going to be okay. Nothing about this would be 'easy as pie'.
Maybe it was crazy. But I had seen weirder things on television.
It was in the instant that I saw the smoke come under the door that I knew the reporter was a liar. Why was our building on fire too? Did our building have bad electrical work?
No. Something bad is going on. I don't know what. But it's no coincidence. Fire sprinklers... I knew they should have went off. But they didn't. I don't know why.
I just grabbed my jacket, forced it over my face, and did something the rest of the class didn't think of. I forced the door open. It felt like I was holding onto the world's hottest potato. But it was only momentarily. And then I was running down the hallway. Running and running... to what?
The basement.
Why did I think of the basement? Shouldn't I have went through any other door but to the basement?
But I ran to it anyways. And here I sit in the dark. Wondering... thinking... why? Why did everyone think this would be as easy as pie?
"Jenelle!" A voice shouted from my bedroom door. "Sweetie, what have I told you about writing past ten? Get to bed. You can finish your story in the morning."
A sigh passed through my lips. I hesitantly closed my notebook and peered down at my pen for a few brief seconds.
"Jen." The woman began again from the doorway. "Your bed is over there." She pointed in the direction towards the bed.
I knew where it was. But did that mean I wanted to go to it? No. I always felt such hesitance when having to stop writing. All I wanted to do was to continue writing until... well last time I had to stop because I fell asleep. But dreams were just as amazing as writing was. In a way, I thought of them as quite similar. Both places took me to places far off. Places in another world, different dimension, different... everything!
I stood up from the computer chair when I realized I had been staring down at my pen too long again. I knew any longer and I would get an impatient, rhetorical "what are you waiting for?" from the foster woman.
I nodded my head quietly, obediently. And with a shuffle I escaped to the confines of my bed. The lights were off within seconds of my head having found my pillow.
I closed my eyes, just in case she were still watching me. Impatiently I waited to hear her walking away. I could guess she was going to check on the other kids. It was an educational guess. I had heard her do it many other nights before.
Nothing about this was as easy as pie! Everyone should have known that! So why lie?
I was shaking in the basement from fear... from... panic? I didn't know what else to call it. Panic seemed to fit me pretty well.
Would I make it out of here? Would they come in time? What was happening? Was anyone coming at all?
My questions were put to a stop when suddenly something mystifying happened. It began small... like one of those firebugs I saw all the time during the summer. It flared into a monster within seconds.
Fire?!
No. No it wasn't fire... It was...
"What-?" I began breathlessly.
I didn't know what it was about it. But I was on my feet again. I was dragging myself to the colossal red image. And when I was within centimeters of it, I reached out my hand... and I touched it.
Soulio
08-31-2014, 05:06 AM
Dealing with people was not an easy task for David Kifram. He had never been one for social interaction, and he surely was not a fan of it either. He rarely went out of his house, and when he did, he almost always did it to go grocery shopping, buy a game, or go see a movie. Other than that, he worked at home online, he rented most of his movies online, and interacted with people online.
His friends told him to get out and live life. So did his parents. Hell, sometimes he swore even his dog did as well. But he never changed his lifestyle.
And then came the day the world went to shit.
Gunshots and screaming, looters and murderers ran wild in the streets, stealing from people, breaking into houses. It was a miracle that no one tried to get into his apartment. When he occasionally looked out his window, he saw lawlessness and anarchy, murders and things no man should see.
The newscasts said that it was the apocalypse, some kind of mass genocide. It wasn’t until the dead began to move around that the governments really started to break down. Sure, they were slowly losing power thanks to the sudden deaths of millions, or maybe even a billion people, but when the dead began to move around and kill even more people, that was when the governments just lost control.
David did his best to stay in his house for as long as possible. It was a safe place high above the streets. He had plenty of food and drinks to keep him from dying of hunger or dehydration. The biggest thing he had to worry about was protecting himself in the event anyone tried to get inside his home.
The best thing he had was a mock katana hanging on his wall from a stupid convention he had gone to a few years ago. At best, it would disorient anybody for a few seconds; maybe give David time to run away? He didn’t know.
And then the power went out. David knew this day was coming eventually. He had read enough apocalypse stories to know that eventually, the power would go out, and then he’d be screwed. He had been hoping against hope that something would prevent that from happening, but deep down, he knew that this would not be the case. So, he packed a bag up with as much consumables as possible, grabbed his Katana, and headed out of his door into the dark, scary world of the apocalypse.
Every alley was like a hallway of horror, filled with guts and limbs and blood. There was the occasional undead thing munching on a dead corpse, but even then, they ignored David. Most likely because they were so engrossed in their meals that they didn’t have the undead thought process to chase after meat. Or maybe they just didn’t smell him. That also was a good reason.
He scavenged for supplies every now and then, and every so often, he hit the “jackpot” and managed to find some cool snacks.
What his biggest find was, however, was a pistol on the dead body of a police officer. It was fully loaded; something David was very surprised to see. He somewhat knew how to fire a gun, but if he found someone who had ever fired one before, he’d most likely be killed.
His next step was finding someone willing to team up, maybe find a group of people that would be willing to bring him in, and help him survive. Maybe even find a safe haven.
Three Months Later
David pulled his bow up, and prepared an arrow, waiting patiently for the deer to turn around so that he could let loose the arrow.
He barely looked anything like he did three months ago. Since then, he had gained a lot of muscle, learned how to fire a bow, a gun, and even a slingshot. He couldn’t have done it without the group he had found. Sadly, they all scattered at one point due to a zombie attack on their camp.
But about a week ago, David managed to find a large group of people holed up in a warehouse. They had long since blocked it off, and gathered supplies. But they still needed more food, especially with the increase of people that kept finding the haven. David had immediately volunteered to assist them in gathering food, and after showing off his skills, he was appointed one of the Gatherers along with a few others, and at least one of them always came back with something.
To him, doing this was now Easy As Pie. He had to laugh at how he was a few months ago. A recluse with virtually no life, social skills akin to that of a potato, and skills only useful before the apocalypse.
The deer finally turned, and David let the arrow fly. It flew straight into the neck of the deer, and it let out a guttural groan before collapsing.
This was the one thing that he still had trouble doing. Whenever he had to kill an animal that he wasn’t able to kill from a distance, he had to look away, and distance himself from everything. This was far from Easy As Pie.
He managed to kill it, and after about an hour of moving and tugging, David finally managed to pull it in front of the gates, where he was let in and aided by one of the much bigger people.
After slamming the thing down onto a table, David and the resident animal skinner began the tedious process of skinning the animal, and then cutting the meat.
This process would take about an hour and a half, but David still desperately needed to learn how to properly do this on his own. He didn’t want to depend on this guy to do all of the skinning, because he was old. If he didn’t die of old age, he’d die of a heart attack from the occasional zombie attacks.
After this was finished, and other tasks were done, David finally was able to rest. He soon fell asleep, letting his worries of the day disappear for the day.
One down, many, many to go. >=3
I emerged from the underground tunnel to a bright, luscious forest. I was blinded by a burning light that soon revealed itself as the sun. I looked back into the darkness for JJ to follow behind me. His scaled arm pushed itself out, I grabbed ahold of it and pulled him forward. We both went ahead before tumbling to the ground with him on top of me. I quickly pushed him off of me, I don’t really like being touched. He stood up before I did, offering his hand to help me. It was nice of him to return the favor.
I stood up looking behind me to find a large tower that didn’t seem to have an end and kept going up for miles. I walked over to it to knock on it’s door, but something came from the sky. It was a snowflake shaped ninja star that buried itself deep into my arm. I quickly fell to my knees in pain. I pulled it out and started flashing red.
I looked up to see a small penguin shaped figure falling until it was directly in front of me. I was right, it was a small, little penguin that looked sort of cute. That was until it pulled out a second ninja star, aiming at my head. I ducked. I looked back to it, but this time it had a sword and was running towards me. It’s flippers clacking like a pair of squeaky boots.
It stopped directly in front of me, “I’m Fudge. Nice to meet you, last chance to leave this building before I have to end you here and now,” it said it’s voice sounding much like a small child.
“Uh.. Hello? I’m just trying to get the crystal and be on my way. No need to fight…” I reached for my gem to see if it could allow me to use any of it’s power, but it was cold and not working. I looked to see if JJ could sneak up on this Fudge character, but he was nowhere to be seen. “How about we just talk this out?”
Fudge shook his head, “I’m afraid I can’t let you live now that I know you’re after my crystal,” with that he ran toward me with his sword in his flippers ready to go in for the kill. I tried to open the door in an attempt to get away, but he was too close so I turned to face him. I pulled out my boomerang in an attempt to defend myself. He thrust his sword in the air, but I blocked it with my boomerang by sheer luck. His second attack wasn’t as lucky for me as he pulled back and slide his weapon into my leg. I started flashing red as he pulled it away making me fall backwards.
I noticed there wasn’t a cut where I was stabbed like I never got hurt. The pain only lasted for a few seconds. Still, I screamed out in terror to appear as if I was hurt. I’m not sure letting the enemies know that I couldn’t be damaged. So I faked it, holding my leg where I was previously cut. “Please no!”
He simply laughed, “Beg all you want, but I’m still going to have to end you,”
I wasn’t scared. I had confidence that I wouldn’t die on this day. But, I knew for one thing I wasn’t going to let this penguin beat me up. Plus, if he did kill me my secret would be ruined. At least I thought so… I pulled out my starfish gem begging it from within my head for it to give me some sort of power. And, with that it started to glow a bright white color, burning so much I had to push it back into my pocket. My grey hoodie turned white and Fudge’s face lit up with horror.
I stood up as he swung his sword, the blade shattered against my skin of steel. He stepped back as I kicked him high up into the sky only for him to come back down face first. I slid my boomerang back into its sling and then stepped on his fallen body. For a moment I thought I had won. I thought this was easy as pie. I thought this was over. It was not. I was wrong.
Fudge stood back up looking unharmed, “Fine. Meet me at the top of the tower and fight me for real. The real battle is like something you’d never imagine. I have never been defeated in battle when at my full power. Something not even your magic rock could do in a million years,” and with that he vanished in a cloud of smoke.
JJ ran over to me, “Are you okay?”
I was a little mad as my white jacket died back down to a solid grey, “Where were you? I was getting my butt handed to me and you were doing what exactly?”
“I was looking for a way for you to win against the boss. I think I found a way you’ll be able to beat him. His weapon suit is not something you can take on as easily as you just did. You’ll just have to move on to the next route and come back here later,”
“No, I can handle this. Don’t bother coming with me I can do this on my own,” I moved towards the door.
“Sire, I am supposed to protect you from danger at every cost. You cannot possibly take on this boss with a boomerang, Butterball, and a magical stone that only works when it wants to. If I helped you, or better yet we go on a side-quest to get more powerful weapons. You haven’t even fought a monster before and the dungeon will be filled with them… Please, come with me,”
I thought about it for a second, but I was so angry at him that I didn't want to listen. I moved closer to the door, “I have to do this,
JJ pulled out something from his backpack which looked like a white-bladed sword with a dragon symbol carved into its handle. “This sword cannot be destroyed and always comes back to it’s master. It’s a weapon you used to use in your earlier days and is your destiny weapon. But, it has some flaws… Please, take it with you as a gesture of good faith,”
I stepped closer to him only long enough to snag the sword. It fit perfectly in my two hands. I slid it into a sling on my back that I didn’t notice before now. I then moved closer to the door and opened it up wide. I looked back to JJ, “I’ll be out in fifteen minutes tops. Be careful out here. No idea if that penguin with come back,” and then I entered into the place JJ was afraid for me to go to. It couldn’t be that dangerous, right?!
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