[M] What Once Was Lost [Namingtoohard & Ashen]

[Ashen]

[The following roleplay is rated mature for reasons that may include but are not limited to strong language, suggestive themes, violence, and possible drug use. Reader discretion is advised.]

The classroom brimmed with the anticipation of a summer vacation, and Dr. Thomas Vetere struggled to reclaim control of his students. The humidity of Gloucestershire was always something to be admired, but even with fans blowing hot air around the lecture hall the permeable discomfort remained. Dr. V cleared his throat again, calling the attention of his students once more. "This will be the last assignment you are expected to complete," he reminded. "For most of you, this will be the last thing you turn in before you graduate. Recall that failing this project will cause you to fail this class, which will postpone graduation. There are no exceptions." A few students groaned. "I am giving you a day off to dedicate to this assignment. None of you are expected to be in this lecture hall on Wednesday. Use this time wisely to conduct your research and finish your project. With that, I wish all of you a good night."

The university students filed out of the large lecture hall. Most muttered something about how unfair this professor was, while others enthused about their summer plans. One student remained in the lecture hall. He was the last one to stand, and he eagerly approached Dr. Vetere. He cleared his throat, and waited until his professor's wise brown eyes were trained on him. "Dr. V," he started, "you know I respect you immensely, and I appreciate the assignments you have given thus far. They have all been very enlightening. Your class is my favorite, of course, but I just have a slight... problem with this final project."

Dr. V looked over the student before him. Luuk Schnell was his best student by far. The kid was a genius, often getting into quarrels with professors and outsmarting them. He was studying to be a historian, which is what landed him in the history professor's class. Dr. V had come to know a lot about Luuk; the kid seemed to be in his office more than the professor himself, and they often got into long discussions about the history of the world. He was intelligent, the professor had to give him that, though his penchant for arguing had undoubtedly gotten him into trouble in the past. Now, he looked down at Luuk with a smile. "Go on then," he urged.

"Well, you see," Luuk started, already talking speeches with his hands, "a family tree is a fun idea as a project, though I wonder if perhaps it might be better suited as a high school project. Not, of course, to discount the amount of time you must have put into coming up with such a project, I think it could be--"

"I've a meeting in ten, Luuk," Dr. V interrupted. "Please, get on with it."

Luuk nodded. "Dr. V, you know I'm adopted. I've searched every ancestry site out there, I've talked to every historian I could find. I don't know anything about my family, and I don't know how to figure it out. I don't think it's entirely fair for a project like this to hold so much weight when students like me cannot properly complete it."

Dr. V put a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "Now Luuk," he said softly, "you're a brilliant student. I am positive you will find a way to ace this final assignment." Retracting his hand, he turned back to the folders on his desk. "Now, if you will excuse me, I ought to meet with my peers. Best of luck to you."


~~~

Luuk Schnell hated history. He found wars, genocides, and other such man-made disasters to be interesting, but the majority of the world's long story was so incredibly boring. He was incredibly good at it though; the kid's photographic memory had helped him a lot throughout the years, even allowing him to skip a few grades. He had been held back for behavioral issues, but really, Luuk had just been bored. Challenging his teachers had caused him to receive several diagnoses for different behavioral disorders he knew he didn't have. Now, he was studying at the University of Gloucestershire to become a historian. He was here on a full academic scholarship, and he'd been studying for six years now. His scholarship had warned him that they would not be paying for his tuition forever, and they had told him six years was the limit. It was longer than most, but he had nowhere else to go.

He'd been tossed around foster care a bit as a kid, had never really found somewhere to fit in. Now, the twenty-five-year-old lived at his university, surrounded by the countless sources of knowledge abound.

He'd be graduating that month with a degree in history. As much as he didn't like it, he hoped that, somehow, learning about the world's history would somehow teach him about his own.


~~~

An hour later Luuk sat at the desk in his dorm room, staring blankly at the document on his computer screen he had started two weeks ago, when this project had first been assigned. Never in his life had he felt so directionless when it came to school. He sighed. This would be the first academic assignment he'd ever fail, and it was completely out of his control. No​, he told himself, he was not going to fail this. He just didn't know where to begin.

[Namingtoohard]

The metal gate squeaked loudly as she undid the latch and pulled it open, cutting through the far-flung sounds of the morning traffic. Natalie winced slightly at the sound, letting slip a rather unladylike curse as she glared at the inanimate object with displeasure. Not for the first time, she found herself wondering why the property’s owners did nothing to fix the problem. It was certainly a well-known one, considering that even the neighbours were likely able to hear it.

Pushing such petty thoughts from her mind, Natalie stepped from the concrete slabs of the sidewalk to the soft gravel within, taking care to shut the gate behind herself again. She followed the outlined pathway through the modest front garden, twisting and turning to avoid damaging a handful of infringing plants that had grown over the edges of the predefined walkway. Despite setting a rather leisurely pace for herself, she reached the house’s front porch in a matter of moments.

The building itself had changed little over the past ten years. Squat and plain, it was hardly a marvel of modern design or engineering. Despite its rather modest construction, though, the building was well-loved and maintained. There was no obvious signs of damage, and only a few flakes of peeling paint suggested at its advanced age.

Natalie stepped up onto the wooden porch, curling one of her hands into a fist. She would reach out and knock sharply on the front door, ignoring both the brass knocker and the more modern doorbell. A muffled call answered her from within, followed by the sound of hurried footsteps. After a few brief moments of waiting it was pulled open from within, revealing a short, plump woman with long brown hair.

“Natalie! It’s so good to see you!”

A smile flickered across Natalie’s face, and she stepped forward to greet the other woman, allowing herself to be pulled into a warm and friendly hug.

“Its been too long, Sarah. Sorry for dropping in so unexpectedly” she offered as the two separated, smiling wanly. The older woman was having none of it, however, and brushed her concerns off without missing a beat.

“Oh, you’re always welcome here, dearie. Come in, come in. I’ll make us some tea” Sarah answered simply, quickly slipping back inside. She hurried off quickly, disappearing in the direction of the kitchen.

Natalie would take her time in following, glancing about that the homestead’s interior briefly. Her eyes flickered from the well-worn and well-loved chairs to the photo frames scattered about, depicting Sarah and the rest of her family in various configurations. At one point she even almost tripped, having accidentally stepped on a small plastic truck.

“Are the boys around?” she would call out, continuing her trek towards the kitchen. Sarah was quick to respond.

“No, they’re both out at the moment. They should be back soon, if you aren’t in a rush”

Natalie would move to join her friend in the kitchen, where two cups of freshly-made tea stood ready. Taking one to hand, the two women would seat themselves, delving into the idle chatter of old friends. A growing distaste began to grip Natalie throughout the course of their discussion as they spoke of simple things, though if Sarah noticed her friend’s displeasure, she refrained from calling attention to it.

How can you be content with such squalor, Sarah? This is such a far cry from the world that is your birthright, your calling. Would you still welcome me so if you knew what I had done? The choices I have stolen from you?

Their discussion continued for some time, until they were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and closing once more, followed by a frenzy of stampeding feet. A tall and thin man by the name of Jason would step through the doorway a few moments later, pausing briefly as he caught sight of the unexpected guest.

“Natalie! What a pleasant surprise”

Another round of greetings followed, before Jason disappeared back the way he had come, insisting he would bring their son down to say hello

Are the feelings you all have for each other genuine, or just another result of my meddling?

Within moments, a young boy of fifteen ran into the room, moving with all the latent energy of youth. He quickly sprinted over to give Natalie an enthusiastic hug, moving with all the vigorous energy of youth, and this time her smile was genuine. He was not Jason and Sarah’s biological child, but none of the trio knew that fact.

“Auntie Nat! You came to visit!”

“Why do you sound so surprised, David? I’m here almost every second week ” she would offer with a laugh. With everyone present, the discussion became a lot more animated, and Natalie felt the knot in her chest ease somewhat.

At least somebody got what they wanted out of this. Hardly worthy compensation for all it cost, but…well, its something

Natalie’s visit would continue for another half an hour or so, before the woman would finally make her excuses and begin the slow process of departing. She was only allowed to go after several repeated goodbyes, made with the promise she would return soon. She would finally emerge from the plain little building and retrace her steps along the gravel path from earlier, her fortnightly check-up completed. The family certainly seemed happy enough, and there were no cracks showing. Her magic was still in full effect, despite the fact it had been over ten years since she had originally altered their histories.

Truthfully, Natalie wasn't quite convinced that was a good thing anymore.

[Ashen]

Luuk awoke to his door barging open and a laugh echoing down the hall. He startled and turned sharply to see his roommate, undoubtedly returning from some party, the smell of alcohol emanating from his body. Luuk rubbed at his tired eyes and turned back to his computer. His paper, now three hundred pages long, was filled with series of nonsense his head must have typed when he fell asleep on his keyboard. He sighed and stood up from his desk. It wasn't like him to just doze off like that. How tired was he? He shook the thought and headed to the makeshift kitchen in his suite to make himself a cup of coffee. On his way, he muttered a greeting to the man now standing at the door.

The other man's distant blue eyes scanned Luuk. "Lucas!" he said loudly, a name he used to playfully make fun of his roommate. "I had such a wild night, you wouldn't believe the shit I've seen today."

Luuk knew he was fortunate his scholarship paid room and board too, but he couldn't help but wish they had put him into a dorm room by himself. The dorm suite he shared with his roommate was nice, but he got a new roommate every year, and he always got stuck with the party-goers. He had considered moving into a nearby apartment, but passing up the free housing would have been stupid of him.

Watching the dark liquid from his Keurig pour into his mug, Luuk replied sarcastically, "Really, I would just love to hear all about it."

"Well!" Luuk jumped when his roommate slammed their door and bounded to where he was standing. He threw an arm around Luuk's shoulders and began. "I went to Gary's house to hang with the guys--you remember Gary, he came here one time, fat guy, long red hair, he was the one with that blonde babe--"

"Uh-huh," Luuk interrupted. He tasted his black coffee. After a few minutes of ignoring his roommate's drunken babble, he cut in, "Look, Frankie, I think it's time you went to bed." He helped the younger man to his room and shut the door on his way out.

He was glad to be without distraction again. Though an irritating occurrence, Francis Thompson waltzing into their room at late hours of the night was not uncommon. Luuk had to admire the strength of the first-year's liver. Bingeing on a Monday night with classes that Tuesday morning; Luuk wondered how the kid wasn't failing all of his classes. He shook his head. He didn't have time to worry about his party drunk roommate. He took his coffee and sat down at his computer again, getting right back to work.

Frank stumbled back into the common area several hours later. "Shit, I remember none of last night," he mumbled. "One hell of a hangover. Must have been a great time." He looked at Luuk. "You're up early."

Luuk looked up from his computer. "Huh?" The clock on his wall displayed 8:09. It certainly wasn't the first all-nighter he'd pulled in that very room, and with this project looming over his shoulder, it probably would not be the last. He turned back to Frank. "I have to get this project done."

Frank shrugged. "Guess I'll leave you to it." Heading back to his room, he called, "It reeks in here. Could you clean the kitchen up when you're done there? I'd do it of course, but I have to get to Psych."

"Yeah," Luuk replied quietly, still not paying attention. He only looked up from his computer again when he heard his roommate leave. In the hours he'd searched for any bit of information about himself online, he'd found nothing about a fifteen-year-old orphan from a decade ago.


~~~

The ringing of his phone was an echoing siren to his sleep deprived senses, and he impatiently drummed his fingers on his desk waiting for someone to answer. When he finally heard a voice on the other line, he sighed in relief. "Karen."

The woman on the other end hesitated. "Luuk?" she asked. "Oh, Luuk, how lovely it is to finally hear from you again. It's been months now. Funniest thing, Anthony was just asking about you the other day--"

"Sorry for not calling sooner," Luuk interrupted. "Hey, Karen, I need your help." The serious tone in the man's voice stopped the woman's cheery ramble. "I'm trying to complete this really important project, and I need to find out about my family, the family before I came to you. Please tell me you have something I can use, some kind of clue about where I'm from, anything."

The line was silent for several long moments. "Oh, Luuk," Karen murmured with all the disappointment of a mother who could not give her child what he needed. "I've told you so many times. We weren't told anything about your life before we took you in, and we tried so hard to get the agency to tell us anything. I know you don't want to believe it, honey, but there's just no record of who you were before you lost your memory. I'm sorry. Can't you ask your professor for some other kind of project? Why can't you do the project about us?"

"It has to be my birth parents," Luuk replied. "It's to study how people have traveled and how that immigration has led to certain patterns in sociocultural-- never mind." The first in his family to go to college, Luuk had to remind himself not to explain his studies to his foster parents. "You really have nothing?"

Karen paused. "I'm sorry," she finally admitted. "Remember they thought you were from the Netherlands, because of the spelling of your name, but that's a long shot. I'm sorry, Luuk, I know how much this means to you."

Luuk didn't know what he expected. He'd had several foster parents over the years, but Karen and Anthony were the closest people he'd had to real parents in his life. He had even adopted their surname, Matsumura, as his middle name, not wanting to replace the name he remembered from before he lost his memories. If they couldn't get him his history, no one could. "Yeah, I'll ask about an alternate project," he replied, knowing full well he had no intention of doing just that. "I'm sorry for bothering you. Say hi to Anthony for me." He hung up and slumped down in his chair, as long as when he'd started.


~~~


When Frank reentered the suite, he jumped as he saw Luuk. "Have you moved at all today?" he asked. "Dude, you were sitting in that same position hours ago."

Luuk duly looked up. "I've been busy," he said, though he had nothing to show for it.

"Busy my ass." Frank let himself into Luuk's room. "Listen, zombie. You have to get out of this room." He picked up the empty coffee cup on Luuk's desk. "Did you go to your classes today? Have you even eaten? Get the hell up." He pushed Luuk out of his chair and gently shoved him towards the door. "You need sunlight," he said. "It's dinnertime already. Stop overworking yourself and take care of yourself. Go. Get something to eat. I'm not letting you back in this room until you had a full, well-balanced meal in your hands."

Luuk grew irritated with his roommate, but he knew Frank was right, and he would not win this fight. He ducked into the bathroom instead. "Give me a minute, would you?"

Inside, Luuk caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. His grey eyes looked haunted, so blank and creepy. His slow-growing beard was starting to show, but its dirty blonde color blended well with his tanned complexion. The hair on his head stayed in the same position it had been in when he'd woken up on top of his keyboard. At any other moment, the man would have laughed at how pathetic he looked. Grabbing a comb, he tried to fix himself up. Once finished, under Frank's watchful eye, he headed out of the dorm and off in search of something to eat.

He just didn't understand what he could do. If the foster care agency didn't even have records of him, what did that leave him? Could he force himself to remember? When he was young the doctors told him he had textbook amnesia, that his brain had probably locked away something traumatic that had happened before he was fifteen. Was there any way to unlock those memories? Whatever trauma he must have endured, Luuk was dying to know. Maybe a look into psychology would help him... Glancing at the time on his phone, he debated sitting in on a psychology lecture, but remembering Frank's promise, he decided against it. Regardless of this project, he had to take care of himself. Making a note to check the library for research on trauma and memory later, Luuk grabbed a chicken salad from a restaurant and, with food in hand, he headed back to his room.

[Namingtoohard]

Natalie circled the wooden table, examining it closely. She stepped around the simple piece of woodworking at a slow pace, eyeing it with a strange sort of intensity that seemed overbearing, given its poor make. Every little crack or scratch in the wood, every little splinter and chip, was noted and fixed firmly within Natalie’s mind. Her attention to detail was nothing less than extraordinary – of the sort that you would expect from a professional craftsman or artist.

The mage currently stood within the confines of her own home – a small apartment not some fifteen minutes’ drive from the city centre. Whilst most people would have dismissed the small collection of rooms on the seventh floor as bordering on tiny, Natalie found it a perfect fit. It seemed the perfect size for her, and bore all the personal decorations and touches that transformed an ordinary house into a home. A knitted blanket was draped across the two-seater couch, and photo frames filled with smiling faces dotted the walls. Mementos dotted the benches and coffee tables, and there was just enough clutter to balance right on the precipice of messy disorganisation.

Today the furniture in the living room was pushed right back to the walls, to make way for the simple wooden desk that was currently the subject of Natalie’s focus. The simple mass of carved and butchered mahogany had not been a particularly masterful piece when it had first been created, and was now damaged and scarred beyond its years. Well used and on the verge of being dismissed as scrap, Natalie had bought it for a steal, at a fraction of what the original wood would have likely cost.

After a few moments spent contemplating her newest acquisition, Natalie would move to the next stage of her inspection. Kneeling down alongside the table, she would reach out and gently place her hands on the cold wooden surface. She would feel the grain of the wood beneath her fingers, searching out every knot and curve within the wood. She would pick at the edges where it had begun to wear away, and the chips where it had started to splinter.

Slowly, very slowly, she began to feel out the edges of the wooden desk’s existence.

Plain mahogany, cut and sanded by machine. Probably by an amateur craftsman who was neither particularly skilled or passionate about his work. Sold for a quick penny to a family with multiple kids, where it was used and abused until it ended up in this sorry state

Lost in thought, Natalie pondered the seemingly simple object that sat in front of her. She was beginning to understand the shape of it, the place that it occupied in this world. The choices and actions that had shaped its history, and led to it becoming the ragged and damaged piece that sat in front of her today. True insight, gleamed from simple observation and a genuine attempt at understanding…with the occasional assumption thrown in where the information on hand was found lacking.

Natalie’s skill at appraising objects in this manner was unmatched in this modern day and age. The knowledge she had gained thus far was only the beginning of what she was capable of – had she cared to try, to spend more time on this project and devote herself to the task further, Natalie could have discerned much more. As remarkable as this ability might have seemed, it was only the beginning of what Natalie was capable of. A mere shade of her considerable ability, albeit an important one. In any case, with her inspection finished, too, it was finally time to move on to the main event.

Turning away from the table, she would stroll over to the kitchen counter, plucking from it both a small paintbrush and a jar of black paint. With chosen tools in hand, she would make her way back over to her couch, where it sat in its new position against the outer wall. Dropping into one of the seats, she would open the jar of paint, before setting it down on the floor, next to her feet. Taking the paintbrush in her left hand, she would lean down and dip it into the jar briefly, before straightening up again.

Holding her right hand out in front of her, Natalie would begin her work. She threw herself into the task wholeheartedly, acting with an artist’s precision and care. She started with a large circle, painted right around the edges of her palm, using the whole of the brush to make the line full and thick. Once it was complete, Natalie would move on to the more complex part of her work. She would begin to fill in the circle with a veritable mass of interconnecting lines, painted with just the tip of the brush, to keep the lines thin.

The pattern started off simple at first, but would grow increasingly complex as she continued, slowly becoming a veritable maze. One that seemed to twist and contort, doubling back on itself repeatedly with no visible beginning or end. To anyone without the same gift as Natalie, it would appear an incomprehensible and pointless mess. To her, though, every line and gap was filled with meaning, chosen and crafted deliberately for the purpose she had in mind.

Her work was punctuated only by short breaks, which were spent either glancing across at the table to remind herself of some small detail, or to dip her brush back into the paint. Once she was finished, the woman would spend a few moments looking back over her work with simple satisfaction, a smile playing at the edges of her mouth. Being careful not to smudge or mar the paint on her hand, she would rise and stroll across to the table.

Overcome with anticipation, Natalie would press her palm into the table’s surface firmly. The reaction was almost immediate. A strange tingling seemed to spread through her arm, and her hand seemed to sink into the table’s surface briefly – just half an inch or so. Next, a series of strange black lines would radiate out from her hand, sneaking their way out across the table’s length. Seemingly embedded within the surface of the table, they were as intricate and complex as the work Natalie had completed just moments ago.

Natalie would finally withdraw her hand, and watch as her magic ran its course. The black lines would spread to encompass the entirety of the table, before fading to match the wood’s natural colour. When they disappeared, though, the fruits of Natalie’s labour bore fruit. Where the table had once been run-down and damaged, it was now a veritable masterpiece. The wood was of the highest quality, undamaged and otherwise flawless. It looked as if its construction and care had been undertaken by a master woodworker, and it had been lovingly maintained all its life. Natalie had even gone so far as to write in a few delicate engravings that made it look as if vines were crawling up the table’s legs.

Overcome with satisfaction, Natalie would spend a few moments observing her finished work fondly, allowing herself to revel in her achievement, small though it may be.

This is what the magic of my people was meant for. Not that abominable misuse that I was forced to…

Natalie quickly tried to push that thought aside. She was familiar with where it led, and didn’t particularly want to go down that path again.

Almost involuntarily, she found her gaze drifting to a small box that sat alone on one of her less cluttered shelves, strangely distinct from the rest of the mess. Maybe if she had another project she could focus her attention on – something with meaning, that she could pour weeks of work into – then things would be different.

A problem for another day.

[Ashen]

Luuk jumped at the ding his phone made to signal a new email. He glanced over at it, for the first time seeing just how late it was. His email was from his linguistics professor, a zany man whom interested Luuk enough to take his elective class. It had been the class he'd missed that day, and the kindhearted professor, knowing the star student did not skip classes, had sent the email reminder to finish up some assignment due two days ago. The thought brought a smile to the kid's face. He pushed away from his computer and rubbed at his eyes. 3:17. He was surprised his professor was awake at this time, and even more surprised that he still was. He still had nothing to show and, aggravated, he threw the lid of his laptop down and collapsed onto his bed. Maybe he would have better luck finding out something in the morning. For now, he needed to end his no-sleep marathon.

The exhausted student could not sleep long. The fire alarm four hours later forced him out of bed. He stumbled to the door, remembered last-minute to throw on a shirt, and exited the building. He found his roommate already outside, laughing with a couple friends. Luuk sighed. He couldn't wait until this week was over.

At Frank's insistence, Luuk grabbed himself breakfast and prepared himself to not skip his other classes today. He had trouble staying away in his first class, passed out in his second, and was glad to come back to his room for a nap. With the stressful history class canceled for the day, he had the rest of his day to himself. He decided to get back to his project, searching the most niche places for any kind of hint on who he might be.

Another several hours of research yielded nothing, so Luuk sat in front of his laptop with a drafted email to Dr. V glaring at him. He didn't know what else to ask for. Dr. V was a good professor, but he was known among his students as a hardass. Luuk had a feeling nothing he did would matter. And then what? If he failed this project, he would fail the class, tarnishing his otherwise esteemed transcript. He'd have to leave school because his scholarship would no longer support him. His job choices would be limited, his entire future would be limited, but for some reason, he wasn't all that concerned about that. He'd make things work out, he always did. It was more than just a project; he had to figure out who he was and why he could remember nothing.


~~~

That night, Luuk had just about given up on finding information online. The school library had offered little help, obviously, even after he'd combed through countless decade-old articles and newspapers. Now, back in his room, he picked up his controller and started up a video game. His brain was fried and he needed some way to relax. Luuk was grateful for the chance to become a completely different person, a sorcerer with a dream of saving the world. With every spell he cast, he could feel himself drifting further from reality. If only his history lay somewhere in some magic spell, somewhere. Luuk laughed. If only the world were that simple.

[Namingtoohard]

When Natalie was younger, it had been a generally known and accepted fact that her kind hated technology. People with their magical gift couldn’t analyse them anywhere near as effectively as other objects, which tended to show signs of use in a manner that seemed much more obvious, and they had no way to work their craft on files that might lay within a computer’s hard drive.

Today, however, neither of these issues were the source of her frustration.

Natalie had spent most of the morning pacing up and down the length of her small apartment, interrupted only by short breaks spent staring at the empty email that currently sat on her laptop’s screen. The small typeset curser seemed to be mocking her with its steady blinking, teasing her about the vacant space that accompanied it.

After another lap of her apartment, Natalie would force herself to sit once more. With grim determination, she would once again put her hands to the keyboard and force herself to write.



Luuk,

You don’t know me, but the two of us have met before. Once, when you were just a child.

If you are satisfied with your life as it currently is, then I suggest that you go ahead and delete this email immediately. However, if you have always felt like there is something wrong…that something is missing from your life, then we should meet.

-N

Natalie would spend a moment looking over the newest form of her letter carefully. She had already written, rewritten, and deleted several others. Most of them had proved much longer, but she had made the conscious decision to refrain from including any details that could unfairly influence the youth’s decision. Or so she thought, at the very least. Apparently she had misjudged just how enticing an offer of insight into Luuk’s past might be at that very moment, while he was most desperate.

She would move her mouse towards the send button, before hesitating, right on the moment of decision. After a few seconds, Natalie would push her chair away from the computer again, rising to her feet and beginning another lap of her apartment.

Was this the right thing to do? She had already tried to play god once, and had ended up regretting it for the last decade of her life. Would her interference here make things better, or would she only be dooming both a young boy and herself to death, and the rest of her kind to extinction? Did she have any right to burst into his world like this, and drag him out of his old life?

Worry gnawed at her insides like a dog with a bone, and after several minutes of repetitious internal arguing she felt no closer to a decision.

Natalie was so caught up in her little monologue that she almost jumped out of her skin when her phone began to ring; blasting its annoying trill loud enough to echo right across the apartment, and cut right through her thoughts. Swearing under her breath, Natalie would turn quickly, and begin a rushed search for the damned thing. Just where had she left it again?

After a few indecisive moments spent throwing pillows around and lifting up objects, she found it – tucked away between two of her couch’s cushions. Making a hasty grab for the thing, she quickly hit answer and lifted it to her ear. The voice on the other end she recognised immediately, cold and though it may have seemed.

“Its time for your weekly update, Natalie” it reprimanded her, sounding none too pleased. Inwardly, the woman let out a soft sigh.

“…nothing to report” she would answer, a hint of disappointment and resentment creeping unbidden into her voice. If the man on the other end noticed it, actively chose not to comment.

“No cracks? Your handiwork still binds them all?”

“None that I’ve been able to find. The spell holds” Natalie answered. She had tried explaining to her supervisor several times that she had done her work specifically with magic that had no time limit, but apparently that wasn’t enough of a reassurance. Either they thought something might still happen, or simply didn’t trust her.

“Good. Keep it that way”

Just as curtly, the man would hang up. No goodbye, no further instructions. Just her standing orders to continue monitoring, and then the steady beep of her phone informing her that the person on the other end of the line had hung up.

Natalie’s insides tightened. Beneath the hatred and disgust that she felt, both at him and at herself, her resolve seemed to harden. She couldn’t continue like this forever, and would do what was right.

She threw a small glance over towards the polished wooden box that sat on her shelves, once again contemplating its contents, before catching herself. Moving with new purpose, she strode back over to the computer, throwing herself down into her seat once more. After one more quick revision, she would reach over and hit the ‘send’ button before her resolve faded and indecision took hold of her once more.

The deed done, she would sit there in silence for a moment. After a few seconds, the woman would let out a soft sigh. The weight of her decision weighed heavily on her shoulders for a moment, before Natalie banished the thought. This was only the first step, and hardly one with irreversible consequences. If things didn’t work out, or she changed her mind, she could always simply decline to push things any further…and all this was assuming that the boy she had chosen would respond in the first place. Perhaps he was more than happy with his new life.

Despite all her worrying, when Natalie rose, she felt lighter than she had in years.

[Ashen]

Luuk didn't know how long he had been playing his game, but when he finally shut it off and crawled into bed, he reminisced about a time when his sleep schedule was almost normal. This history project in particular was the source of his severely adjusted timetables of late. Now, at close to four in the morning, the young man felt the exhaustion wash over him. He reached for his phone to turn off his alarm for that morning--where was the harm in missing another class?--and noticed a long stream of notifications. Most were emails, pointless documents his university thought it necessary to send him. His bill was available, graduation preparations were underway, the university store was having a sale on bedspreads--but what was this? Luuk noticed a strange email from an unknown sender sitting among his spam. He couldn't remember the last time he had received such an odd email, so he opened it up and prepared to flag it, too, as spam.

The contents didn't make any sense. Luuk sat up in bed, thoroughly confused. Whoever this person was, they knew his name. While not an uncommon name, they had even spelt it right. While that wasn't entirely unusual--how many spam sites had found his name in the past?--the words after that... Once, when you were a child. Luuk remembered none of his childhood, and he had spent the last ten years looking for it. ...something is missing from your life... we should meet... What kind of sick joke? Luuk hoped out of bed and turned on his computer to stare at the same email, as if a wider screen would reveal something hidden between the lines. He read the email a dozen times before turning away and clenching his fists. "Who the hell signs an email with just N?" he blurted, aware that he was talking to himself. "Frank, I swear, if this is one of your pranks, I'll..." He turned back to the email and read it again. Was this what he'd been looking for all along?

Luuk sat down at his desk and clicked the reply button. Even if it was a prank, what did he have to lose? The possibility of knowledge, of finally finding any clue about his childhood was too great. Luuk didn't care what he'd have to do, he didn't even care how much this doubtless spam was charging; he had to take it.

Meet me in front of St. Paul's Thursday at 15:00.


Luuk couldn't give his email a second thought before it was being shot through cyberspace. He was too eager, and now that it had been sent, he realized he should not have been so direct. What if this N couldn't meet him so soon? What if he or she was too busy at three in the afternoon? What if St. Paul's, the church only a quick walk from Luuk's suite, was too far away? He shook his head. He hoped this person would respond if the arrangements were not suitable. Besides, Luuk felt safest meeting with this total stranger at a church. If he really was going to get scammed, maybe he could count on the person being religious and not wanting to disgrace their god by scamming in front of a place of worship. Luuk checked the time again. He was going mad. Climbing back into bed, he turned off his alarm and tried to go to sleep.


~~~


After a pitiful night's sleep, Luuk woke to the sound of someone down the hall screaming and having way more fun than he was. He checked the time on his phone, groaned, and got up. He could hardly sleep with the thoughts racing through his head. Luuk racked his brain trying to remember anyone he had ever met with a name starting with N, but of all the people he could think of, he didn't think any of them would send a message like this. One of his first foster mothers, some old lady named Nina, was probably dead by now, and even if she weren't she wouldn't touch a computer with a ten-foot pole. Nathan was the name of a mail carrier from when he lived with another set of foster parents, and there was a Nick somewhere in high school... He still had no leads, and exhausted, he readied himself for the day.

It was twelve by the time Luuk finished his breakfast. He was showered and shaved, silently wanting to look presentable on the off chance that this N was someone who would help him. He was ready to wait the three hours in front of St. Paul's, too excited and anxious to do much else, when it finally occurred to him to check his email. A part of him was hoping N couldn't meet with him, but a larger part of him was praying they could. Regardless, he just hoped for some kind of response.

[Namingtoohard]

Having responded to Luuk’s return email with a rather simple and equally vague confirmation, Natalie would wait for Thursday with nervous trepidation.

When the day finally came, she would rise early and follow her morning routine for the most part, dressing for cold weather and cooking a simple breakfast for herself. As the time grew steadily closer, she felt her nerves continue to build, and quickly decided that she wasn't in the mood for lunch.

On her way out the door, Natalie would pause in front of the hallway mirror briefly, giving herself a quick once-over to make sure she was presentable. Her gaze would sweep over her lengthy brown hair, which she had left out on this particular day. Her facial features, which were somewhat soft and poorly defined, with a handful of small wrinkles beginning to form around her mouth and eyes; an unwanted hint towards her age. Her figure was a little on the larger side - not so much so that one could properly call her overweight, but enough to show that she didn't spare much thought for her physical fitness.

Her clothes were relatively plain and simple, picked more for warmth and comfort than style. A pair of simple boots with a small heel, some black cargo pants, and a beige cardigan that was pulled closed at the front, hanging down just past her waist and totally concealing the shirt underneath. The ensemble was complete with a knitted scarf that wasn't a particularly good match, but provided a good measure of warmth, and held a touch of sentimental value besides.

Leaving her apartment a good hour and a half earlier than necessary, Natalie would drive towards the cathedral where they had agreed to meet. Predicting some measure of traffic once she got closer to the city centre, especially given the time, she would park several blocks away and walk the remaining distance towards their arranged meeting place. A quick glance at her watch revealed that she was still going to be relatively early - roughly an hour or so, all things considered - but that fact didn't phase her. The waiting was sure to be the worst part, but it would give her some time to prepare herself mentally for what was to come.

She would pull herself up short when she finally caught sight of Luuk, hesitating briefly as she watched him. It had been a good long while since she had seen the boy, especially in person, but she recognised enough to identify him. Natalie had spent some fair amount of time keeping tabs on his life and actions, just as she had with all the other families that had been affected by her actions on that fateful day.

A small voice in the back of Natalie's mind whispered that it wasn't too late for her to abandon this venture. The man had no idea who she actually was, since she had refused to use her normal name and email, and had never contacted him directly before. If she so wished, it wasn't too late to walk away. She could turn on her heel, fade into the crowd, and let the matter drop. He would waste a few hours waiting around, certainly, but eventually conclude that her email had been nothing more than some sort of spam or an obscure prank. She could go back to her life, and everything would return to the way it had been before.

The way it had been before...

Steeling her resolve, Natalie would take a few deeps breaths as she tried to calm herself. Pulling her scarf a little more tightly about her neck, she would finally take that first step. Another followed, easier than the first. Slowly, she strode towards Luuk, moving towards him with a clear sense of purpose.

When she drew close, all thoughts of planning seemed to vanish from her mind. All the carefully created speeches she might give him, all the plans she had for how to open this conversation, disappeared in that instant.

"You're Luuk, right? I'm Natalie. Its nice to finally see you again" she would offer by the way of greeting. Feeling a touch awkward, she would hesitate briefly, glancing around at the cathedral that stood beside their meeting point as she searched for the right words to say. The right way to ease him into this conversation. There was no need to open with anything too brash, about their joint history and her magic. Better to get to know him a little first; get a feel for his personality, judge how he might react, and maybe see how well the spell she had cast on him so long ago was holding up.

"I..I was a friend of your parents, many years ago. Your birth parents" she would finally offer, directing her gaze back across at him. She used the word 'friend' somewhat loosely, but there was no way for him to know that. "We should find a café or something. Some place out of the wind, where we can talk normally"

[Ashen]

Finally Luuk's exhaustion was catching up to him. He was glaring at everyone who walked by St. Paul's, and the monotony of the countless passersby, the noisy cars, and the long grey roads were causing him to doze off. He shook himself awake and continued to think. He had to remember something, anything. As more people filled the streets, Luuk prayed he would recognize at least one of them. A few were classmates of his, a professor he'd had years ago, the barista at Costco. He checked the time on his phone and realized he still had a couple hours to kill by the time he was supposed to meet with his N.

He'd always thought people watching was often a waste of time, and now he regretted not doing it more. Luuk plopped down on the stairs of the church and rocked a bit to keep himself awake. He had music playing in one ear now, opting to keep the other open in case someone called for him. ACDC drummed against his beating skull, but Luuk refused to leave that step. They would be here, and Luuk would get his answers. Finally, his life would be complete. He began dreaming of this N. Perhaps that was the first initial of his father, his birth father, and finally his parents were coming back for him. Maybe N was the name of the fiend who kidnapped him and erased his memories. Luuk laughed aloud. Maybe he'd offer the idea to the Creative Writing Club later.

Suddenly, Luuk heard his name. He was on his feet in seconds, and for the several that followed he steadied himself from the dizzy wave that came with moving too fast. The person who had called him--Natalie... She was just a plain lady. They couldn't have been related; Luuk's grey eyes didn't match hers, his nose was much sharper, his cheekbones higher. Her long dark hair was thicker than Luuk's dirty blonde waves, which he awkwardly ran a hand through as he studied her. She didn't even appear old enough to be a mother, or perhaps Luuk was just a bad judge of age. Realizing he still hadn't said anything, Luuk cleared his throat. "Ah, yeah," he mumbled, but he had no words past that.

She suggested going somewhere else, and for a moment Luuk was reminded of age-old childhood lessons of stranger danger, but he scolded himself. While this girl didn't look weak, she certainly didn't look strong, either. Not quite the athlete himself, Luuk was still sure he'd be able to outrun her, or if absolutely necessary, beat her in a fight. He nodded awkwardly and started walking, pulling his jacket tighter around his form. "There's a coffee shop a couple minutes away," he said, nodding down the street. As a raindrop fell onto his cheek, he commented, "Probably better than staying out in the rain."

The coffee shop was perhaps five minutes away, and Luuk wondered if he had ever experienced a worse five minutes. He had a million questions but he was unsure how to ask any of them. This woman--who was she? Why was she here? A friend of his birth parents? Who were they? But despite his questions, despite his need to know, he could not find the words to speak. What could he ask? He knew nothing about the woman trailing behind him, so he could only remain silent in the awkward trek down the street.

Once inside the coffee shop, Luuk turned sharply to Natalie. He was easily half a foot taller than her, maybe more. Who was this woman to approach a man like him? Finally he could take it no longer; Luuk blurted the firsts of the millions of questions that came to his mind: "Who were my parents? Where are they? How did you know them? Why did they leave me and why are you here now?" His voice sounded much harsher than he intended, as if he were making demands. Realizing how he probably looked both to Natalie and to the people nearby, he cleared his throat and apologized. "Would you like a coffee?"

[Namingtoohard]

The short walk to the coffee shop was a welcome diversion, and gifted Natalie with a few precious moments to get her thoughts in order. She spent the first few moments reminding herself that she wasn't technically doing anything wrong by meeting up with Luuk here and now, trying to untangle the bundle of nerves and worries that seemed to have formed in her chest. She was merely fulfilling her duties in checking up on the dozens of people who had been placed under her care, as dictated by her superiors. The fact that she had suddenly decided to have this meeting face to face wasn't technically a breach of protocol...or so she told herself, at the very least.

The coffee shop Luuk had chosen proved to be rather quaint. The atmosphere was relaxed and calm despite the fact that there were already a handful of other people inside, presumably seeking refuge from the budding rainstorm. The soft burble of polite conversation filled the room, clearly audible whilst remaining indistinct. Natalie spent a few brief moments glancing around, hands shoved deep into her pockets, before she would glance back across at Luuk as he quickly flung several questions her way at once. A wry smile flickered across her features, a hint of amusement dancing behind her eyes as she decided to answer the last one first.

"I'd love one"

Only when the two of them were both seated with hot drinks in hand would she finally turn her thoughts to the first wave questions that Luuk had posed. His eagerness was almost palpable, and she almost felt bad for making him wait so long. Natalie watched him in silence for a moment, both hands cupped around her coffee for warmth, before she took a deep breath. Steeling herself for what was potentially going to be a very awkward conversation, she finally began to speak.

“Your mother was a history professor. I met her through work, and she eventually introduced me to your father. He was a professional athlete – a soccer player, if memory serves” she finally started. Natalie would pause briefly to lift her coffee to her lips. Both the warmth and the taste were welcome, but ultimately the drink provided a convenient excuse for her take a second to pick her next words.

“They didn’t give you up by choice, if that makes any difference to you. They…the two of them died while you were still very young. You were orphaned, not abandoned” Natalie added. She paused again, but less for personal reasons this time, and more to give Luuk a chance to digest this information. She kept a close eye on him throughout, of course, curious as to how he would respond. He had already shown a vested interest in his missing birth parents, so would the news that they had already both passed away visibly shake him?

[Ashen]

The smell of cinnamon, though usually calming, seemed invasive as it wafted from Luuk's drink. The hand holding his cup was shaking and he silently cursed himself for it. The coffee shop was nice, and many students often came here to have a quiet spot to get work done or meet up with friends, but now, it had a whole new meaning. Would this be the place his entire life became clear?

Luuk set his cup down and sat on his hands. His eyes burned into Natalie as she spoke, teaching him about parents he never remembered knowing. A history professor... It figured. Luuk would laugh at the irony later. He'd been studying history so long that he'd forgotten the appeal of other subjects, but man did he hate history. He wondered what kind of history his mother specialized in--did she get excited teaching about modern wars, or perhaps she was more into ancient civilizations--but he figured those questions would come after the painfully long line of others in his mind. His father was an athlete--that was interesting. He'd always been quick for someone who didn't regularly work out. Was that because of his father? Luuk readied his new questions--what university does she teach at? what team does he play for?--but Natalie's next words crushed his hopes of ever meeting his real parents.

They were dead. Luuk's gaze fell to the floor, though his expression gave little away. His parents were dead. All the time he'd spent looking for them, hoping with all of who he was that they'd like him, they'd be proud of him, and they were dead. He should have suspected as much, but then why did it hurt like this? Luuk cleared his throat. His parents didn't hate him; they never would be able to. Suddenly his whole life felt like a waste.

Eventually Luuk looked back to the bearer of bad news. All of his questions were suddenly forgotten. Whatever desire he'd had of getting to know his parents was gone, replaced with a bitter emptiness he refused to acknowledge. He looked down at his cup, the light liquid still steaming. "Why are you here," he asked, though the emotion in his voice was now gone. "Did you just come to tell me the people I'd spent years looking for are dead? Why?"

[Namingtoohard]

Natalie had known a great deal of adoptees and orphans in her life. Not a big number on paper, but certainly more than most people could claim familiarity with. In her experience, the vast majority of them viewed the topic of their parentage one of two ways. They either regarded them with overpowering curiosity as they wondered what they were missing out on, or with total disinterest and disregard for those who had abandoned them. Natalie already had her suspicions, but she watched Luuk closely even as the words slipped from her mouth, trying to gauge his reaction. His downcast eyes were enough to give her a clue, and in that moment she felt a wave of sympathy roll over her.

Natalie waited out the pause that followed in something akin to thoughtful silence, punctuated only by another brief sip from the warm coffee that she held cupped in her hands. The deadpan nature of his voice was enough to confirm some of her thoughts, and while she prickled a little at the accusatory words, Natalie did her best to suppress any annoyance she felt.

"I came to give you answers to any questions you might have. To give you an opportunity to learn something about them, instead of spending your whole life wondering" she answered, meeting his gaze calmly. Another half-truth, but a more earnest one. Hopefully something in him would respond - the aspiring scholar part, if not the child.

"You might not ever get the chance to meet them, but you can still get to know them a little, through me. Maybe learn a little something about yourself in the process" she offered, before giving a casual shrug; one that seemed perhaps a little too nonchalant, given the current topic of discussion. "But only if you want to, of course. I'm not going to force you into it, if you'd prefer ignorance to grief."

[Ashen]

The more this Natalie spoke, the more Luuk grew to dislike her. She spoke with an authority he didn't understand, and though he wanted to dissect her, find out every little detail of her, there were several things stopping him. She was right: this was his chance to get to know the people who had given him life, who had raised him for those distant, forgotten years. How could he ever get to know two people in just a few wasted questions, a few quick breaths? One conversation would never be enough, but what choice did he have?

The boy was silent for a long while, staring into his steaming cup and pondering his words. As an academic, he was used to mincing his thoughts for minutes before offering his opinions, but as a curious orphan longing to know more, he could not choose a single question. What did he want to know most? He wanted to know what perfumes his mother wore, what dish his dad loved to make, what date was regarded as his parents' favorite; he wanted to know the intimate details, but he doubted this woman could tell him all that. The more he thought, the more frustrated he got. Why was it so hard to ask something? Natalie was waiting, and he had a plethora of good choices, but suddenly none of them seemed enough. There was no question that would let him know his parents like he wanted to.

So he changed his focus. "I want to know about you," he said, surprising himself. University had taught him the importance of being critical of his sources, and he still knew nothing about this woman claiming to have known the people who had remained hidden from him for years. "I don't believe you're here just to give me answers. You would have come earlier. I agonized over my family in my adolescence; surely then would have been a better time to offer answers. Why now? And what would you get from this?" He kept his gaze with her, daring to look away. Luuk was surprised by his gall, his somewhat aggressive tone. Was he ruining the only chance he had to find out more? But he needed this, needed to get himself going. He needed to know something.

He wrapped his hands around his mug and started again, this time trying to keep his voice more level. "I want to know who you are. Some friend of my parents' isn't a good enough answer. You're more connected than that, otherwise you wouldn't be here. So tell me, what are you trying to gain?"

[Namingtoohard]

True to her word, Natalie didn't try to push or beguile Luuk any further. She had spoken her piece, and now the rest was up to him. It was possible that he would simply decide to stand up and walk out, but somehow Natalie doubted that he would. He had reacted so strongly to the news of his parents' deaths just a few moments ago, she somehow doubted that he would let this opportunity slip him by.

She pursed her lips in distaste when he decided to choose a different tactic altogether, instead questioning her motives for approaching him. It was an intelligent line of thought, and perhaps somewhat expected considering the roundabout method she had used to approach him. She had been hoping that the topic of his parents would prove enticing enough to distract him, but apparently she had misjudged. Her wish to pique his curiosity had come true, but not in quite the manner she had expected.

What was it that people said about being careful what you wished for?

"I suppose asking you to believe that I'm simply trying to do the right thing is out of the question, then" she answered, a wry smile flickering across her features. She averted her eyes then, staring out the window of the coffee shop for a few quiet moments as she tried to gather her thoughts. Just how much could she share without giving the whole game away? How much did she need to reveal so that he would be satisfied enough to avoid pushing the topic beyond the limits of what she was prepared -or able - to say this early on?

"To put it simply, I fucked up. I was in a tough spot and made a mistake that pissed off a lot of people, your parents included. I never got to make my peace with them before they passed away" she offered, finally turning her gaze back from the window to Luuk. Taking a shaky breath, she continued.

"I suppose that this is my way of trying to make it up to them, at least in part.

[Ashen]

Luuk couldn't tell for sure, but it seemed like Natalie was irritated that he'd asked about her and not the celebrities of the conversation. She turned away, breaking eye contact--did she have something to hide? Was she about to lie to him? But her words cleared his traces of doubt, and he turned away too. Her words offered him little information--how badly was this fuck-up? Had his parents suffered because of her? But the way she seemed to shrink behind her coffee mug, the way her voice was met with a slight quake; this girl was guilty, pathetic even, and Luuk had no right to dig into a painful past she did not want to relive.

And yet. While Luuk didn't want to make this girl uncomfortable, she was the only source of information he had and was undoubtedly invaluable to him, but he wanted to know more. He was starving for knowledge, and he needed to be satiated. Did he keep pressing and risk losing his only informant? That question caused his headache to intensify. He opened his mouth, then closed it, thinking otherwise. Luuk looked to his cup and he gave a long, exhausted sigh.

"I have no memory of them," Luuk admitted softly. "It's weird, but none of my foster families could find any information about them. I should have suspected they'd be dead, but it makes no sense that they would just disappear like that. Yet... I think a part of me knows they would appreciate you reaching out to me."

His breaths were starting to even out, and Luuk took a sip from his drink. "You said my mum was a history professor," he murmured. "What sort of history did she teach? Where was she from herself? And Dad, he played football? For what team did he play? Did he travel a lot for it?" Luuk was conscious of the pacing of his questions, but he couldn't help the quantity of them; they poured out of his mouth, endless. He hesitated after a while, apologized for bombarding the poor woman, and looked around. "Perhaps it would be better to learn all these things not all at once." He reached into his pocket and grabbed the receipt from the coffee shop, then grabbed a pen from another pocket. Luuk scribbled his name and phone number and even put his school address. "I'd like to talk to you more, Natalie. Actually... I think you can help me save my grade." He chuckled softly. He'd almost forgotten about his project entirely.

[Namingtoohard]

A wry smile twisted up the corners of Natalie's mouth - Luuk's reward for both his attempt at comforting her, and the barrage of questions that followed. Whilst she was grateful for the boy's kind attempts at reassurance, she felt a little awkward for making him feel that such a thing was necessary in the first place. Still, she had gotten what she wanted, and that was enough a cause for celebration, regardless of the means she had used - or been forced into using - to accomplish it.

"Maybe not. There's no need to rush into this" she offered rather simply, forgoing his barrage of questions for the time being. Truth be told, she wasn't entirely certain that she would be able to accurately remember everything Luuk wanted to ask of her. There was no need to spoil their first meeting with that little fact, however.

Her smile when she took the receipt with Luuk's number scrawled onto it was much more genuine. Natalie immediately reached for a pocket, quickly producing her phone. An older model, it was perhaps a year or so out of date, and covered in plenty of scratches and marks that hinted at its age. Holding her phone in one hand and the scrap of paper in the other, she registered it under Luuk’s given name. After a few moments spent typing away at a speed that most teenagers would likely find appalling, Luuk's own phone would buzz. When he checked it, he'd find a short message from a previously unknown number, greeting him with an ambiguous 'hey'. Contact details exchanged, Natalie turned her attention back to the topic at hand.

"Your grade? I wasn't aware that this was a purely intellectual pursuit for you" she answered as she slipped her phone away again, a hint of amusement dancing behind her eyes. "Well, I’d be happy to try and help you out. You know how to find me now, so hopefully we'll be able to arrange another meeting soon. One where I'll actually be able to answer some of your questions properly."

Downing the rest of her coffee in a few hearty sips, Natalie pried the plastic lid from the cup and set about licking the foam from the inside in what most would consider a rather childish display. After she was done the woman rose to her feet, chair scraping against the ground softly as she absentmindedly pushed it back.

“In any case, it was nice to meet you. Oh, and thanks for the coffee. Can’t remember if I said that the first time.”

[Ashen]

There was something different about this woman now, Luuk realized. It was as if, now that she had met with Luuk, there was a weight off her shoulders. How heavily had this been weighing on her? He watched her new smile, a wider and cheerier one, and he watched the way she licked the lid of her coffee cup. Luuk turned away, smiling himself. He was no good at ages, his only hint was that Natalie was probably around his parents' age, whatever that was, but in that moment, she looked nothing more than a relieved kid.

He stammered a bit, shaking his head. "It's not purely intellectual," he said quietly, though he recognized that it was a joke and he let the subject waver. Luuk considered something, then asked, "Do you mind if I do send you a list of questions later? It's alright if you can't answer them all, but I do have a hefty autobiographical project due soon, and my entire university career depends on it. No pressure, of course." He flashed her a grin. Somewhere along the line of this conversation, he'd come to terms with the conditions surrounding this project, and he felt more relaxed about it. He still had a lot to do, enough that he might have to skip some classes and drown in some more coffee, but at least now, finally, he had a lead.

They said their goodbyes, a little too formally for his tastes, and Luuk got up to leave. He looked outside, at the rain still slightly trickling down umbrellas and aggravated passersby's faces. Bundling himself up, Luuk set off back towards campus, back to his room, and he plopped down on his bed. He took out his phone and added Natalie to his contacts, then wondered how long he should give her before he sent her his questions. He considered calling Karen, but he thought to wait a little longer, to find out, without any doubt, that Natalie was one hundred percent legit. So, Luuk made his way to his desk, opened his laptop, checked the assignment sheet again, and he started writing with what little information he had.

As he often did while he was writing papers, Luuk lost track of time. He jumped a bit when his computer made a notification noise. He had an email from Dr. Vetere, his history professor. The email was just to check up on Luuk, something not uncommon for the too-nice professor. Luuk assumed Dr. V checked up on most of his students. In the email, there was a question about his project, a simple Have you found anything yet? that intrigued Luuk. He replied instantly saying he had new ideas, and he thanked Dr. V for checking up. The professor's timing was curious, but Luuk didn't waste much time pondering the coincidence. He instead texted Natalie.

Hey. I'm going to send these to you now, but you can get to them whenever.

He typed up the list of questions required of his project, throwing in a couple extra as well. After he hit send, Luuk could feel it get much easier to breathe. Maybe he wouldn't fail after all; maybe he'd finally be satisfied.

[Namingtoohard]

After a quick confirmation that she would do her best to answer any questions sent her way, Natalie finally departed the little coffee shop. She stepped through the doorway and back out into the rain beyond, before making the short walk back to her car in haste. After a brief delay spent scrambling to extract her keys from her pocket, Natalie slipped inside, only moderately wet and in an astonishingly good mood. Now that their first meeting was over, she was astonished by how much better she felt. As is so often the way with these things, any feelings of anxiety had vanished completely, and Natalie found herself wondering why she had ever been worried in the first place.

The trip home seemed to pass rather quickly, and before she knew it Natalie was home once more. She slipped back inside and promptly turned on a small gas heater that sat in the corner of her living room, which began its work in earnest. After laying out fresh set of clothes out in front of it, she retreated to the bathroom for a warm and relaxing shower.

Once she was changed, Natalie spent the rest of her evening in a rather leisurely manner. A simple yet tasty dinner, a rather self-indulgent serving of ice cream for dessert, despite the cold, and a few carefree hours spent practicing her craft. Unlike last time, she didn’t bother with a proper forgery, like she had done with the coffee table earlier. Just a few simple exercised to practice her penmanship, with some music on in the background for good measure. All in all, it had shape up to be a very good day.

When her phone chimed to alert her to a message from Luuk, Natalie glanced across the room at it briefly. After a few moments spent finishing her current practice task, she quickly set down her pen and moved to answer it. She picked up her mobile, only to scowl when she remembered the ink on her hands. A few moments later, after she had managed to wipe off her hands - and the phone - she sent him a preliminary reply.

I can’t promise that my memory will be perfect, but I’ll answer as much as I can

Fully aware that Luuk was probably working under some sort of time frame for his project, Natalie did her best to answer the questions that followed in what little of the evening remained. Some of them went unanswered due to a lack of knowledge on her part, and she had to settle for a best guess at a few where her memory was slightly spotty. She finished it off the morning that followed, and sent her full response off to Luuk well before midday. True to her word, he would quickly find himself in possession of a partially completed list of answers. Enough for him to begin his project in earnest, at the very least, and hopefully satisfy something of his personal longing at the same time.

[Ashen]

Luuk awoke to his loud roommate's footsteps in their common area. He groggily sat up, cursed himself for falling asleep at his desk again, and peered his head into the main room. "Frankie?" he murmured quietly. "It's four in the morning..." After getting up and straightening himself, Luuk checked for a response from Natalie. There was nothing; had he sent too many questions? What if she wasn't the real thing after all? Trying his best to push his anxieties aside, Luuk hopped into bed. His head resting on a real pillow this time, he told himself everything would be figured out in the morning, and he went to sleep.

When Luuk got up to start his day, he was disappointed to find a lack of notifications on his phone. Give her time, he kept reminding himself. He hopped over to his laptop and looked through what he had written so far of this project. There were too many blanks, and he had written just about all he could have with how little information he currently had. Deciding there was nothing he could do, he set off for his other classes and tried to distract himself from the assignment.

His phone went off during his lecture, a piercing sound that he'd forgotten to silence. Luuk tried to ignore the eyes that turned to him. It was a feat that his professor hadn't heard it; otherwise, she didn't think this interruption worth stopping her explanation of environmental factors of some war. Luuk hadn't quite been paying attention, but now his focus was completely subsided; Natalie responded. He read over her message a few times, learning the facts of his parents, of himself, for the very first time. He spent several minutes thinking on her answers, and he didn't look up until he realized everyone was staring at him. His professor, evidently, had asked him a question. Luuk mumbled a kind of apology, grabbed his backpack, and scurried out of the lecture hall in the middle of class. He had more important things to do than learn last-minute details about some war he didn't care about. He had a paper to write.

Back in his room, Luuk threw down a shot of whatever alcohol Frankie had been keeping in the fridge. He sat down to write, learning more as he went along. His parents were foreigners who had met in the UK. His mother ended up teaching here; his father ended up playing here. Natalie didn't know much about his grandparents, which would penalize his project enough, but there were loads of other things left blank too. Luuk couldn't blame her, of course--it wasn't her fault his parents hadn't told her maiden names and birthdates--but he wished he could find out more. Even with their names he could get nowhere. Why had his parents had no online presence? Luuk wrote furiously, writing what he could, though as the hours ticked by, he realized he was not writing to his trusted Dr. V anymore. Somehow, somewhere in his now six-page paper, his audience had shifted to a young boy, alone, looking for answers he didn't know he would ever find.

It was suppertime by the time Luuk finished writing. He had more to go still--no paper less than twelve pages would even be accepted by the strict Dr. V--but he was satisfied with what he'd started. In addition to the essay, he had to draw family trees with more than just names. Since he didn't know his grandparents, Luuk focused more on the culture, on his mother's native Netherlands and his father's Germany. He had researched both country's histories, the languages, the intricate traditions. Hours of work he'd poured into this project in a single day, where most of his class had had weeks. Finally spent, Luuk poured himself another shot of Frankie's alcohol, making a mental note to pay the kid back later. Realizing he had never responded to Natalie's text message, Luuk grabbed for his phone and started a quick response.

You're a lifesaver. I owe you a few more coffees for all of this

Hitting send, Luuk turned away from his computer and sighed. He had progress. That was more than he could have said just days ago. Checking the time, Luuk collapsed onto his bed again. He would make himself a meal shortly, but all he wanted to do was lie down and bask in the comfort of knowing he finally knew something​.

[Namingtoohard]

For the second time that week, Natalie found her evening routine interrupted by the tell-tale buzz of a mobile phone on silent. After a few tense moments spent scrambling over furniture in search of the damnable thing, she was rewarded with just enough time to glance at the caller ID before answering. That way, she was able to keep most of the concern out of her voice when the voice of her ever-distant handler reached her ears.

“You decided to contact the Schnell boy directly”

Monotonous, formal, and straight to the point – that was her mystery employer. It was, apparently, time for the conversation that Natalie had been dreading ever since she had first made direct contact with Luuk. Not for the first time, she found herself wondering just how he was getting his information. Still, if the man on the other end of the line was upset or angry with her sudden change in tactics, his voice certainly didn’t give it away.

Natalie tried to take that as a good sign.

“Yes”

“Why?”

Natalie dry-swallowed once. Took a brief moment to squash the butterflies she felt fluttering in her stomach. When she spoke up again, the woman did her best to sound casual, almost flippant. Not at all like she had already prepared an answer, fearing this moment as inevitable.

“The boy had started showing some signs of distress loosely related to my work. I decided that a more hands-on approach was necessary” she started. The voice on the other end declined the chance to comment, silently prompting her to continue. “I decided that a face to face meeting would give me the chance to judge just how severe the problem was, and put me in a position to take quick action if needed”

Truth be told, Natalie sounded a lot more confident than she felt. Or did she merely hope that was the case?

“Is it going to be an issue?”

“I don’t think so, but it’s a little early to say for sure. I may need to meet with him again, just to make sure”
A tense silence followed, during which Natalie could feel her heart in her throat. Several imaginary scenarios ran through her mind, largely driven by fear as to what he might do. Anything from cutting off all contact with Luuk to more drastic action seemed plausible, given that the people her contact represented had already proven themselves willing to kill in the past. She was starting to wonder if the line had gone dead when the man on the other end spoke up again.

“Continue your duties for the time being. If something like this happens again, you will contact us before you take action.” It wasn’t a question. Regardless, Natalie was suddenly overcome with relief.

“Yes sir”

A single beep let her know that the line had gone dead, and Natalie let out a soft sigh. Quickly flickering over to Luuk’s most recent message, which she had seen but not yet replied to, she quickly thumbed a reply.

I'll gladly take you up on that offer some time. Just name the time and place

Truth be told, Natalie was feeling surprisingly eager to meet up with Luuk again, though logically she knew there was no reason to rush. After a few scarce moments, she quickly typed and sent another.

If any more questions spring to mind, just let me know. For your project or just personal curiosity

Natalie quickly reminded herself that Luuk might want to focus on her project, or might not even be interested in meeting again now that he had the information he required. Even if he did get back to her, it might be a while until she was able to reveal her true intentions. In this, as with all things, she quietly counselled herself to be patient.

That didn't stop her from grinning as she sat down and resumed her work, however.

[Ashen]

Luuk had to force himself to get up at 5:55. He'd been too comfortable to get up a moment before, but at this rate, he was going to be late to Dr. V's class. The night class started at six, and it would take Luuk five minutes to walk to the lecture hall, but he'd intended to grab some food for himself before heading to class. For a brief second the tired man considered skipping, but Dr. V's attendance policy was stricter than most. Luuk hopped out of his bed, his relief at having completed so much of his essay now gone, as he scrambled to find his backpack, stuff his laptop into it, and run out the door.

As he made his way there, Luuk realized this would be his last class in university. He was graduating in just over a week; next week contained only final exams and due dates for finishing papers and projects. After six long years, he was nearly done with university. With the family tree project hanging over him, he hadn't even noticed. What was he going to do? Most of his peers had a plan, but Luuk was only at this place to learn more about his parents. Somehow, he'd gotten closer to that goal; he supposed he was ready to leave university after all.

He walked into class at 6:01, to worried looks from peers and a stern glare from his professor. Dr. V was in the middle of saying something. Luuk slipped into his seat in the front and tried to pay attention. He was talking about the assignment more. It was due in five days now, but the professor was encouraging early submissions. When he finished exhausting his students with talk of their grades, he started his final lecture. All of his students were all too eager to leave, to put the finishing touches on this cursed project and be done with their school years for good.

After class, Luuk prepared to leave when Dr. V stopped him. "Can I get a moment with you?" asked the tired-looking professor.

Luuk turned around. "Oh, sure," he responded. "What's up?"

"I noticed you seem cheerier than usual," Dr. V commented. "Have you figured out on what you will focus your assignment?"

Luuk sat back down, knowing this conversation would probably be a lengthy one. He was in no rush to leave the hall; he was sure he was done working on his paper for now. Of course, there was more work to be done. In any of Dr. V's classes, there was always more work to be done. Luuk figured he would get to the rest of his project tomorrow, maybe even finishing it the day after that. He had most of what he needed, and an 80% was much better than the 0% he had before he'd met Natalie. He was happy to sit down with his favorite professor and talk all about his plans.

And that he did. Luuk sat with Dr. V for nearly an hour. He told him he'd met someone who had known his parents, and that she was helping him work things out. He was writing about his parents' migration to the UK, how they might have lived in their home countries, how their coincidental meeting caused them to move to a foreign country. Luuk was ranting, waving his hands around to accentuate his words, all too excited to talk about these things he didn't realize added such a sparkle to his eye. By the time he was finished Dr. V had a similar shine in his old brown eyes, and Luuk appreciated knowing his professor truly did care about his life. With a formal bow, Dr. V wished Luuk good luck with finishing his assignment, and he headed out of the lecture hall.

It was nearly 10 at night when Luuk finally left the room. His stomach gurgled loudly, and he remembered that he'd skipped tea that day. He prepared to go back to his dorm, but he stopped himself. Tonight was a night for celebrations. Tonight, he would treat himself to dining out.

On his way to a fancy restaurant, Luuk noticed that he had two texts from Natalie. He thought to reply to them on his way to the restaurant, but he stopped himself. He opened them again when he was seated at the restaurant. His mind wandered to the woman he had met with. Natalie had come out of thin air, with an unprovoked email timed all too perfectly. Was that just a coincidence, or did Natalie know things he did not? Was there more to this mystery woman than just a connection to his late parents? Luuk's thoughts were interrupted by the waiter who came to his table. He'd been too lost in thought to pay attention to the menu, so he pointed to the first thing he noticed, some seafood and rice dish that he wasn't particularly in the mood for, and wandered back to his thoughts. Luuk wondered just how much more he could ask of her, how much more he would see her. Looking around, a thought occurred to him. He wanted to know more about her, about this ghost of his forgotten past, and he knew text messages would not get him where he needed to be.

How would you like to go out to eat sometime, or even tonight if you're not busy?

It was late, and Luuk was foolish for trying, but he still sent her the address of the restaurant he was at. If Natalie could make it tonight, that'd be great, but he would easily go out with her elsewhere on another day. He was just glad to be on the right track again, and it was all thanks to his mystery girl.

[Namingtoohard]

By the time 10pm rolled around, Natalie was more or less ready for bed. She had changed into her pyjamas by this point, and was currently curled up on her couch with a book, content to whittle away the time until she was ready to turn in for the night. The ping of her phone cut through the peaceful silence that had settled into Natalie's apartment, and quickly drew the attention of its sole occupant. Just who would be messaging her at this hour? More than a little curious, she quickly put her bookmark in, set her book aside, and reached across to pluck her mobile phone from where it sat on the coffee table adjacent.

She was pleasantly surprised to see Luuk's name pop up on the screen, and quickly moved to open his message. The rather unexpected invitation to dinner within made Natalie pause, plagued with indecision. She was virtually ready for bed, and rather tired besides. At the same time, however, another meeting was exactly what she had been hoping for. Especially one that he had taken the initiative to set up. After a few moments, she quickly thumbed a reply stating that she was on her way, before pulling herself up off the couch to go and get ready.

Disappearing into her bedroom, Natalie spent a few moments rifling through her clothes, searching for something that was both clean and suitable. After finally settling on some faded jeans, a striped shirt and a grey cardigan, she headed for the door, pausing only to grab her keys and wallet on the way out.

Traffic proved light on the way to Luuk’s chosen restaurant, but that was unsurprising given the hour. Parking proved a little more challenging, but after just a few minutes of systematic searching she was able to find a spot that wasn’t too far. After zapping her car and double checking that it was locked behind her, she was faced with only a few short minutes of walking to the resturant’s front entrance. And as much as she would have liked to take it slow and enjoy the cool night air, she didn’t want to keep Luuk waiting any longer than he had been already.

At the front door she was greeted by a waitress who seemed much too cheery for such a late hour of the evening. Natalie strongly suspected that the woman’s smile was forced, but if that was the case then she hid it well. Too many years working in customer service, most likely. After a short conversation spent explaining that no - she wasn’t dining alone - and yes, her dinner partner was already here, Natalie pushed her way into the restaurant good and proper. A brief scan of the scattered tables and their occupants was enough for her to spot Luuk, and Natalie quickly made her way towards him. After weaving back and forth between several other tables, she was finally able to join him.

“Good evening” Natalie offered casually as she helped herself to a seat, slipping into the chair opposite Luuk. After a few brief moments spent making herself comfortable, she would continue.

“I was rather surprised when I got your message. This seems like a pretty late time to be going out for dinner, and pretty fancy for a student besides. It’s not finals week or something, is it?” A soft chuckle slipped from her lips at the thought. Luuk was probably rather busy, given the assignment that he had mentioned last time, but end of semester exams seemed an entirely different breed of evil.

Natalie reached for a menu then, quickly flicking it open to the first page. She spent a few minutes eyeing the contents, before glancing at Luuk again over the top of the laminated paper. “Have you ordered yet?” Truth be told, she had already eaten dinner earlier that night. Natalie would still allow herself to indulge in something small, though, if she could find anything that seemed appetising. Maybe a dessert.

[Ashen]

It wasn't long before Luuk received an answer to his text, a confirmation. He was surprised Natalie was taking him up on his offer to eat so late at night and at such a place, but nevertheless, he was excited to see her again. In the short time they had known each other, Natalie had already managed to give him such comfort, such assurance, and he had to repay her somehow.

He twirled the straw in his cup as he waited both for Natalie and his meal. He had no idea how far she lived from the restaurant, and for a moment he wondered if he had inconvenienced her by asking her out to somewhere that might have been a great distance from home. His anxieties faded when he saw her walk into the restaurant. She looked modest, a bit underdressed for a restaurant like this, but then, in his faded jeans and old T-shirt, so was he. Luuk had to admire how comfy she looked, how she didn't seem to mind how she appeared. He nodded his head towards her when she located his table and he greeted her warmly. "It's basically finals week," he replied with a shrug and a light chuckle. "Next week is, anyway, but I've got a whole weekend to prepare for that. I thought it would be nice to treat myself to a nice meal to celebrate being done with classes, and I wanted to celebrate finally knowing... anything about who I am and where I come from. And I thought... Why not enjoy that dinner with the woman who made that possible, you know?"

He waited for her to look over the menu. Luuk nodded at her question but insisted he had nothing to do that night and didn't mind waiting for her to pick something she'd like. As she looked over the menu, he let her eyes wander. She had a home-like quality about her that he couldn't help but notice now. He wanted to know more about her, but he didn't even know where to start.

Luuk waited until Natalie decided on something to order before he spoke up. "My project is going well," he began. "Your answers have been very helpful. I made a lot of progress on it, and I wanted to thank you again for the help you've been." He sipped at his glass of water, planning which questions he'd asked. "I wanted to know a little more about you, since you seem to know so much about me." He looked her over again, guessing at the answers to his questions but trying not to assume anything. "What do you for a living?" he went with, figuring that innocent enough. "Do you have a family?" He didn't notice a wedding ring, but then, loads of married women didn't wear theirs, either. He paused, then turned away. "I'm sorry if I ask a lot of questions. It's annoyed a lot of people before, so if you need to tell me to shut up, by all means." He offered her a lopsided smile. "Oh, and... I didn't wake you up or anything, yeah? I really appreciate you coming out here to see me, especially on such short notice. Do you live far?" He turned back to her, then looked away sheepishly. "Right, sorry, too many questions. I'm just... excited to get to know you, is all. If my parents were close to you, I trust you're a good person."

[Namingtoohard]

Natalie continued to watch Luuk over the top of her menu when her dinner companion began to speak. She refrained from answering verbally, but her facial expressions were telling enough. A small smile flickered across her features, and a hint of softness, or tenderness, seemed to creep into her expression unbidden. After a few quiet moments she gave him a simple nod, before turning her attention back to her menu good and proper.

She spent a few more moments going over the potential selections, before finally coming to a conclusion. Without any further ado, Natalie quickly folded her menu closed, before setting it down on the table in front of her. A quick glance revealed that most of the waiters were currently busy with other people, and Natalie quickly decided that she wasn't going to force the issue. She was in no major rush to eat, having come more for the chance to talk than the promise of food, and they currently had other matters to deal with. Still, it was only a matter of seconds before Luuk began bombarding her with questions, and a soft chuckle slipped from her lips. Last time she had dismissed it as curiosity about his family, but now she was starting to think it more a personal quirk.

"I work in restoration. Mostly buying up old furniture and antiques, fixing them up, and selling them again. Occasionally I'll get a client who wants me to repair something, but not often" she answered. The half-truth flowed off her tongue easily, well-practised as it was. "As for family, I'm not married, if that's what you're asking. No kids, either. Just a small apartment in Kingsholm, and a few friends I'd consider close enough to be blood"

Her answer was interrupted briefly when one of the servers she had glanced at arrived at their table, notebook and pen in hand. After a rather polite exchange, she quickly ordered herself one of the molten lava chocolate cakes from the dessert menu. After handing her menu back to the server, Natalie watched as she left them behind and disappeared into the kitchen, before glancing back across at Luuk.

"What about yourself? Are you with a foster family, or staying on campus at the moment?" she asked. She had seemingly discounted the possibility that he had moved out and was currently living on his own, supporting himself in full. She already had a rough idea of what his life was like, given how she was required to keep tabs on all the people placed under her care, but Natalie didn't see any point in letting Luuk in on that little secret. No, such a thing would only prove harmful at this point.

[Ashen]

Luuk was an attentive listener, and as Natalie answered his questions his eyes seemed to study her. Ever the scholar, the man had a habit of staring without realizing it, but he caught when the waiter arrived at their table and he looked away as if to study someone else or some decor of the restaurant. He nodded along, processing her answers, painting his mental portrait of this strange lady. "I see," he murmured in response. "You'll have to show me your work sometime. Restoration is fascinating. I used to follow someone who would repaint dolls for a living." He looked back to her. "I'm sure you would have a field day in my parents' house. All of Karen's furniture looks like it's from the 1800's. I'm not sure even you could help modernize the place." He chuckled softly, reminiscing about the home he'd grown to know well. In his grey eyes there was a light, an appreciation and maybe even love for the family he still had.

He listened to her questions, somewhat surprised that she would want to know about him. Luuk thought for a moment, and he prepared to answer but, seeing the waiter bringing his food, he paused as to not be interrupted. He thanked the waiter for his paella and poked at it with a spoon. Had he ever had paella? He looked back to Natalie, suddenly feeling awkward that he was the only one eating. "I'm on campus," Luuk answered, poking at bread left on the table when he'd first ordered. "I'm on an academic scholarship. I'm lucky. The commute from home would kill me in petrol prices." He ripped off a piece of bread and tossed it into his mouth. Luuk continued talking while he chewed, taking care not to drop his food. "I was thrown around foster care for a bit though, yeah. People didn't want a kid with an attitude problem and a need to find his birth parents, I guess." He shrugged, too used to the reality of his adolescence. "But then Karen found me, and we just... clicked."

The presence of food in his hands didn't seem to stop him; Luuk still waved his limbs with his words, talking too animatedly. "Karen was never supposed to keep me," he went on, giving a dramatic wave of his hand, "but she said God told her I was the one. I didn't buy that then and don't really buy that now, but she saw something in me. I spend my summers with her. I consider her a mother. She never had much, but she always gave to me, always eager to help. She's a large part of why I am how I am. I'm probably the reason she has a full head of grey hair now." He smiled again and dipped his bread in his paella. "I still keep in touch with other foster parents. Well, occasionally. I forget to most of the time. I try to keep a positive relationship with them. Show them my appreciation, you know?"

Luuk spotted a waiter walking towards them with a chocolate-looking cake, but the waiter kept walking. He turned his attention back to Natalie. "You only wanted dessert?" he asked. "I didn't mean to pull you away for just that." But he didn't seem all that bothered as he shrugged his shoulders and turned back to his drink. "Oh, I wanted to ask," he said suddenly. "It might not be your kind of literature, but since you made it possible, I figured I would ask anyway. When I'm done with my paper, would you want to read it? Dr. V--he's my history professor--he's got some weird requirements as far as projects go, but I hope to make it a... somewhat enjoyable memoir. You don't have to, of course. Just thought I'd offer."

[Namingtoohard]

Natalie nodded in something akin to gracious acceptance when the boy expressed interest in her work, visibly pleased by the interest he showed. Whilst it seemed a little early to tell if he was truly curious or merely being polite, it was a promising start. All the more so when considering her eventual plans for Luuk, should everything end up working out as she hoped it would.

"I'd love the chance to look, at the very least. I'd even offer her the sort of heavy discount I usually reserve for close friends" she answered honestly, quite enthralled by the idea. The opportunity to test her skills, better herself, and start a rather new and worthwhile project for an appreciative audience, was more than enough to draw Natalie's honest attention. As the discussion wore on, though, she gladly let the topic go, more or less content for the moment.

She proved the perfect audience as Luuk began to talk about his family life, a small smile gracing her features. Natalie was certainly starting to get the impression that he enjoyed the sound of his own voice, or though it impossible to dwell on a single topic for so long. Still, she didn't mind. It allowed her to sit back and listen, observe...and in any case, the history of his living arrangements was certainly an interesting enough to hold her attention. To gain some insight into the life of a child she had met, but never really known, and the carers who had previously been nothing more than names without faces. Still, she nodded in acceptance almost immediately when he offered to let her read his project, once it was all finished and polished and submitted.

"It probably isn't, truth be told, but I'd like to read it regardless. It'll be interesting to see what you came up with just from the little information I was able to give you" she answered, before turning her attention to the dessert that the waiter had set down in front of her while they were chatting. She picked up her spoon quickly, and paused only to give Mec a sly look.

"I admit it. Sugar is a....weakness of mine. You don't get a figure like this by eating healthy and exercising" she answered, pausing only to open up her mudcake with the edge of her spoon. It took all her self-control to stop from drooling. "As far as I'm concerned, this was well worth the trip."

She took her first mouthful, and spent several moments savouring the taste. Natalie smacked her lips greedily, and looked set to dive into the rest of her cake, but she decided to speak up first.

"Truth be told, I'm almost surprised you're so open concerning your upbringing. I haven't exactly spoken with many children in your situation, but it doesn't strike me as a topic they would generally be eager to discuss" she started, before pausing. A frown flickered across her features, albeit briefly. "Though it sounds silly now that I say it out loud."

[Ashen]

He was grateful that Natalie seemed so interested in what he had to say. Luuk loved his history professor, but knowing Natalie would be looking at his paper too, he felt motivated to put even more effort into this all-consuming project. The B or A he'd need to graduate was one thing, but Natalie's approval was the closest he'd ever get to his real parents'. He promised he'd send his paper the second he was finished, already thinking of ways to make his interpretation of the project even better.

Luuk watched her as she poked at her dessert. This girl was unlike the others he'd seen. She was by no means shaped by a model, but she was charming. She owned her body and her homey fashion sense, and Luuk had to admire that. Looking her over again, he had to admit, she was pretty. He wasn't one to chase skinny blondes anyway. Chase? Was it weird to think of a friend of parents as an attractive person? Luuk shrugged it off. He still didn't know how old Natalie was, and anyway, what did it matter? They were barely acquaintances, for now. Meeting her eyes again, he hoped they'd be more than that. He wanted to get closer to the person his parents chose to hang out with, the cute little whittler who'd wandered into his life.

He was brought out of his thoughts at her words. "You don't sound stupid," he assured her. "I think that's valid. I mean, for people like me, talking about the hard stuff always seems to be touchy. Me, I don't really get that. If you don't talk about it, it almost denies that it even happened, right? And it did happen, and it made me into who I am. I'm not ashamed of it or anything. If anything, I'm happy to talk about it. Finding my parents has been my goal since I was a kid, but Karen's been more helpful in that goal than anyone else. Well, except you, now. Of course I'd want to talk about her, and how we found each other. That's something most other people can't share, yeah? My mom found me, and we clicked. Most people just get stuck with whatever lady brought them into the world, you know?"

She was eating her dessert faster than he could eat his goopy rice dish. Luuk drew a few spoonfuls, giving himself a moment to think on it. He shrugged his shoulders and swallowed. "I don't mind talking about it," he continued. "That's who I am. I don't want to pretend things didn't happen. Besides, it's not like it was anyone's fault it all happened. That's just how the cards were dealt, yeah?"

[Namingtoohard]

Natalie’s expression was thoughtful as Luuk spoke at length about the reason he was so open with his personal history, and the nature of his relationship with the woman who had become his mother. His thoughts on the topic were definitely insightful, and offered a perspective that she hadn’t previously considered. She had heard it said before that a dad and a father weren’t the same thing, and Luuk’s sentiments definitely seemed to echo that same line of reasoning. Regardless, the more he spoke, the better Natalie felt she was becoming to understand. Not who he was, so much, but the sort reasoning he followed. Yes, she was becoming more and more certain that he was a good choice for what he had in mind.

Still, she felt a twinge of guilt as he shrugged off his own circumstances, dismissing them as the workings of fate. What sort of person might he have become, if not for her meddling? Not for the first time, Natalie had to remind herself that she had done what she had for their sake, just as much as hers. That she wasn’t responsible for those who had died - only given a second chance to those who had remained.

“You’ve had a lot of time to think this over, clearly.” She paused briefly then, opting for another spoonful of chocolate as she tried to figure out the best way to phrase what she wanted to say.

“The cards may have been dealt that way, but that doesn’t mean it was fair. It doesn’t matter if it was just bad luck or the dealer had an ace hidden up their sleeve. Everybody deserves the chance to know their parents” she added, pointing at Luuk with her spoon, before hesitating briefly. “I...lost both of mine when I was relatively young. I wasn’t even there to see it happen. But, looking back, the pain was well worth it for the chance to know them”

After a second spent dwelling on the thought, she cleared her throat noisily, trying to clear the air before the atmosphere became too somber. Perhaps talking about her own parents like that hadn’t been the most sensitive thing she could have done, but it was too late for that now.

“Would you change it, then? If you had the chance to...reshuffle the deck, so to speak.”

[Ashen]

Luuk regarded Natalie for a second, chewing over her words. She was grateful for the chance to have known her parents at all, even if knowing them created an unspeakable pain, no doubt. But, wouldn't some people argue it was better to not know that pain at all? He turned away, wondering how he felt. He'd known his parents, in another life. In this one, he'd spent hours upon hours searching for parents he'd never know. Was that better? The tears he'd shed, the sleep he'd lost, the countless brick walls he'd run into; were those better than keeping his memory, remembering how he lost them, how he knew he would never see his beloved parents again?

Her question pulled him out of his thoughts, and suddenly his grey gaze fell to the floor in deep thought. Would he change things? If he could fall into his mother's warm hug or relax at his father's reassuring voice, would he accept those things? "Of course I'd want to know my parents," he said softly, eyes still trained to the floor. "But if doing so would erase these past several years without them, I'm not sure I can answer that." He brought his eyes back to Natalie. "I am who I am because they were gone. Because I was thrown around different families so much. Because I met Karen and was believed in. I can't say I wouldn't have been okay with my parents raising me instead, but I definitely wouldn't be who I am now. And I don't know that I want to part with who I am for something that would affect me in ways I wouldn't even know."

Luuk shrugged his shoulders and sipped at his water. "No," he settled on. "No, I wouldn't reshuffle the deck. I've gone through a lot of heartbreak trying to know my parents, sure, but if not that, I'm sure in another life I would have gone through a lot of heartbreak for something else, you know?" He ended his small speech with a shrug and picked at his food. He'd come out to this restaurant for a meal, but Luuk was finding that he liked talking with Natalie far more than he liked eating overcooked rice and fish and clams. "You propose interesting questions," he told her. "It's... reassuring. You're like my professors." He smiled warmly at her. "I'm still confused about the how and the why, but... I'm glad you're here."

The waiter wandered over to their table and looked over Luuk's and Natalie's emptying plates. "Is there anything else I can get for you?" he offered.

Luuk sat up a little straighter and turned to Natalie. He wouldn't keep her for dessert; he wasn't feeling anything sweet anyway. He glanced at his phone and only then was he aware of the time. "Oh, wow, I've kept you out long, haven't I?" He turned back to the waiter and mentioned bringing the check, then turned back to Natalie with an apologetic smile. "Let me cover your dessert," he suggested. "I don't mind, and I'm the one that dragged you out here anyway."

[Namingtoohard]

Content to sit back and listen for the time being, Natalie set about finishing off what little remained of her dessert, even as she listened to Luuk talk through his thought process. It sounded like he was doing so just as much for his own benefit as hers, as if voicing his thoughts aloud would help him come to a conclusion. When he finally arrived at his decision, Natalie nodded once in acceptance. Truth be told, she had no idea which answer she had expected him to choose, or which she would have preferred. Her question had been born out of nothing more than a moment of idle curiosity. Despite this, however, his decision felt...right, somehow. Whilst a part of her wanted to question him further, however, she found herself smiling at the kind words that followed.

"What a wonderful compliment" Natalie answered honestly, unable to keep the pleasure out of her voice. She hesitated then, mulling over the rest of his little speech carefully, as if trying to find the right words. After a few moments, Natalie set her spoon down on her plate with a gentle clatter, before finally speaking up once more. "I know I didn't do the best job explaining myself last time. Its been a long time, and those don't make for the most pleasant of memories. Even beyond that, it'd take a great deal of context to explain properly" Natalie started. After a moment she realised that she was rubbing her forehead with one hand, and forced herself to place both of her hands on the table in an attempt to stop herself fidgeting.

"Just give me a bit of time. A chance to get to know you a little bit better, think things over...try and figure out the best way to broach the topic" Natalie finished, giving her companion a wry smile.

It was at about that time that the waiter arrived at their table. Natalie acknowledged the man with a brief glance and a simple nod, all whilst setting about the simple task of rifling through her pockets in search of her wallet. Perhaps it was simply the fact she was sitting down now, or that she had just finished eating dessert, but why did jeans always seem to get tighter when one needed to get something out of them? Regardless, she wasn't planning on letting Luuk get away with paying for her twice in a row.

"Oh, I don't mind. You covered me for the coffee last time, after all, so its only fair that I get this one...and besides, you're a student" she answered, her tone dismissive, and the implications behind her words clear. Pulling her wallet clear, she quickly flipped it open and plucked a card from its depths. The next time she spoke, it was to the waiter himself.

"I think we're done. Just the bill, thank you" she answered, offering him the card as if the matter was settled. Apparently she didn't know Luuk well enough to know better just yet.

[Ashen]

Luuk pondered her words. He hadn't expected her to offer more than he'd already gotten, but now that the offer was there, the young man found himself wondering just what Natalie wanted to say. She wanted to get to know him better first... but why? Was there some big secret she held, something that would make things fall into place? The more Luuk thought on it, the more his mind filled with impossible scenarios. It was best to not guess at things, he decided, but even if he logically knew that, his mind would always wander.

Natalie brushed off his offer to pay for their meal and offered the waiter a card. Luuk pouted, "There's a big difference between coffee and an entire meal." He turned down to his dish, trying to remember the numbers next to its name on the menu. A part of him, a large part of him, hated being paid for, as if this woman covering his tab somehow injured his fragile masculinity. After a moment though, Luuk realized how childish that was, and he shook his head. He'd cover next time, he decided. He'd make it up to her, all of this, and eventually, he'd find out whatever she was still hiding.

Luuk muttered a small thank you for the food. While he waited for the waiter to return with her card, he thought back to earlier in their conversation. "Soon I won't be a student anymore," he said. "I'm... working on getting a job, which in all honesty I should have already had set up by now. However. I'm sure to have more free time soon, and I'd think I'd like to maybe see some of your work, if you're willing to show it. Maybe you can even show me how you restore your furniture? Karen was always telling me I needed to pick up new hobbies, so who knows? Maybe I'll even dirty my hands with it too, you know?" He noticed the waiter returning and offered Natalie a smile. "Only if you're willing to share that with me, of course. It could be fun. But don't let me harass you while you're doing your thing. I get that too." He waited for the waiter to return her card and prompt her for a signature. "Would you like me to walk you to your car?" he suggested. "It's dark."

[Namingtoohard]

Forgetting about the waiter almost as soon as he had stepped away from the table, Natalie quickly turned her attention back to her dinner companion. She listened politely at first, thinking his words some sort of prelude to an offer or promise he would return the favour when he was finished studying. The reality was a little more surprising, the conversation quickly moving in a direction that she hadn't expected. Luuk had already expressed some level of interest in her work, but some small part of her had wondered if he hadn't just wanted to be polite during their first meeting. This time seemed different, however. The way he offered to outright try his hand at things himself...well, she struggled to think of his words as anything but genuine. Natalie found herself smiling at the thought.

"I'd be happy to give you the tour. Its not often I get the chance to show off the process itself" she answered, her smile widening a little. Perhaps this was the opportunity that she had been so desperately waiting for. The chance to see how open he was to the sort of thing she was capable of, away from prying eyes. A chance to finally share her secret, after all these years. "And if you decide that you want to get your hands dirty, I'll be happy to show you the ropes."

Natalie quickly and graciously accepted Luuk's offer to walk her back to her car, and just in time for the waiter to return. Her card vanished first, returned to her wallet with quiet efficiency. She signed the spot he had indicated next, her penmanship nothing less than exquisite, before rising to her feet. With the last of their affairs sorted, she didn't see any point in lingering any longer. Not at this time of night, at least.

The evening air was predictably brisk as the two of them stepped out of the restaurant and into the street. Natalie shoved both of her hands deep into her pockets, before starting the walk back towards her car. She settled on a rather leisurely pace despite the cold, content to relax and enjoy the evening ambience for a little bit, before the chill started to cut a little too deep. The stroll gave her a good chance to mull over an idea that had been forming in her mind for the later part of the evening, and when they rounded the corner and her car came into sight, she spoke.

”So, I was thinking...there’s a chance I might have an old photo or something of your parents lying around somewhere. I’m not certain, and it’d take a bit of digging, but I could try and find it for you. If you were interested, of course” Natalie said. It was an awkwardly worded offer at best, but an earnest one. It seemed like the sort of thing Luuk would be interested in, but she thought it better to ask, just in case.

[Ashen]

As soon as Natalie agreed to have him observe and maybe even join her in her work, Luuk immediately began thinking of the things they could do. Maybe old furniture hunting would help him use his degree after all, assuming he could date any of the old pieces to the eras of history he'd studied. Beyond that, however, he was more interested in getting closer to Natalie, to uncovering more of the mystery of him, and if all it took was learning some fun little way of passing the time and making furniture look pretty, all the better for him.

The air was crisp when they finally left the restaurant. Luuk hadn't gotten a chance to check the time, but once more he was suddenly self-conscious that he'd kept Natalie out too long. He enjoyed the walk to her car, breathing in the fresh cool air and walking at a slowed pace. Natalie seemed to be enjoying herself too, and he was at least thankful for that. She found her car and broke the nighttime silence with a suggestion, as if she even had to ask.

Luuk let her finish speaking, though his answer was clear. "Of course I'd love to see them," he blurted the moment she finished. "Sorry, I mean. Don't inconvenience yourself searching, but if you do find it..." His voice trailed as he thought of it. It was just a photograph, something so small, but to him, it was seeing the parents he couldn't remember, the parents he'd never know. It was the culmination of years of searching for those two faces and finally being told he had the chance to see them, if only as a snapshot. Boyish excitement coursed through him, and he had to struggle to keep himself from jumping on his heels.

Calming himself, he once again thanked Natalie for joining him. "I'll keep you updated on the project," he said, "and I'll let you know when I'm free to work on some furniture, yeah? I do look forward to it." A chill rushed past him, causing him to shiver slightly. "I shouldn't keep you," he realized. "Safe travels home and all, and you'll be hearing form me soon." He flashed her a wide grin. "Thanks again, Natalie."

[Namingtoohard]

Luuk's reaction was almost exactly what Natalie had expected, but she found herself grinning at his outburst nonetheless. His enthusiasm was endearing, and more than a little infectious. There was no telling if she'd be able to manage it for sure, but the idea that she could give him such a gift seemed well worth any effort she would have to put into searching. She unlocked her car with the press of a button and climbed into the driver's seat, but hesitated a moment before pulling the door closed behind her. Instead she took the opportunity to glance back at Luuk one last time, still smiling, and even went so far as to give him a little wave of farewell.

"I certainly hope so. Enjoy the rest of your evening and all that. Or what little remains of it, at least"

Once they had both said their goodbyes, she was quick to start the engine and pull away from the curb. During the drive home her body seemed to act on autopilot, navigating turns and traffic almost automatically, whilst her thoughts repeatedly drifted back to the idea of a meeting at her home, and the possibilities that came with. For the first time since she had begun this foolish venture, it seemed like things might actually work out in her favour. That she had a chance of succeeding, and - perhaps more importantly - not being caught. Even if there was still a great deal of uncertainty, a number of variables and possibilities to be dealt with, this was progress. For the first time in years, it felt like she had a tangible goal. Something she could actively work towards, instead of just maintaining her current skills and routinely fulfilling her duties. It was a good feeling. Liberating, almost.

When she finally pulled up outside her apartment, Natalie almost wanted to start straight away. It had been late when she had left, however, and a sense of general weariness was doing its best to drag her towards bed. She reluctantly obliged, collapsing onto her feather mattress as soon as she had managed to change.

The next morning, as soon as she was fully awake and fed, Natalie set about dragging all her old collections out from the hidden corners of her apartment. Dusty old boxes filled with paperwork, trophies, framed photos, and other keepsakes. Things she had taken from the families that she had worked her magic upon after judging them too dangerous to be left behind, hidden and waiting to be found. Truth be told, she should have destroyed the vast majority of them years ago. At the time, however, she had found herself unable to do so. It had seemed wrong, somehow, after the other violation she had committed. For years they had collected dust under her bed and in the back of her closet, a painful reminder of what she had done. The cost she had made everyone else pay, and the burden she had chosen to bear. Now, however, she had a reason to go looking through them again. One beyond melancholy, mourning, or regret. With any luck, she'd find something of Luuk's parents hidden amongst it all.

It was time to begin her search.

[Ashen]

Once Luuk got home and changed into a pair of sweatpants to sleep in, he dropped down onto his hardened mattress and stared blankly at the ceiling. He wasn't the least bit tired, despite the long day he'd had, and despite the severe lack of sleep he'd been getting. He glanced to the other side of the room, where Frankie was already snoring loudly. Luuk lay down for a bit longer, hoping sleep would come to him, but how could it? If Natalie really did have a photo of his parents, this was huge. What did they look like? Did he have his father's eyes, his mother's hair? His mother's smile, his father's nose? It was just a photo, he told himself, he needed to sleep, but the more he tried to push it away, the more he knew he was not going to sleep.

Luuk managed to fall asleep, but only after planting himself at his desk and sketching the possible faces of his parents. When the shrill sound of his roommate's alarm stirred him from his light sleep, Luuk looked down at the thick pencil mark crossed through the oval he'd started for a face. He'd drawn his mother last night, or what he assumed she looked like: perfect pale curls, wide shining eyes, his pointed nose and angled chin. He didn't know how long he'd been drawing, but he looked sadly at the other side of the paper, at the incomplete image of his father, a mystery still. Glancing at the time flashing on his laptop, Luuk figured it was time enough to start his day.

He was free for a few days now, so he busied himself with finding out when his final examinations were scheduled. He had tests throughout the week and only a single weekend to prepare. Luuk looked over his textbooks and research articles, his encyclopedias and atlases. This was it. As long as he passed these tests, he'd make it out of here alive, accomplished even. Who would have guessed? He cracked open a geography textbook from the seventeen hundreds and glanced over its pages. Geography would be his first test, Monday morning. It was an easy class, and a quick glance of his maps was all he would really need, but even that proved difficult. His mind wandered to Natalie, to their dinner the previous night, to that photograph.

After failing to revise anything, Luuk sent Natalie a copy of his schedule for that week. He was free most afternoons and all of Tuesday, and he asked her if she would be willing to meet up whenever she was also available. He then got back to his textbook, only interrupted when Frankie returned from wherever he'd gone that morning and asked who Luuk suddenly had the hots for. Irritated, Luuk left the room in search of a meal and some fresh air.

When he returned to his room, thankfully to Frankie's absence, he decided to funnel all of his energy into his project. There was nothing else he would be able to concentrate on at this point, and he could at least be productive with his time. He researched for hours about his parents' homes, graphically designed maps and trees of his own, and occasionally added a paragraph or two to his essay. He was making great progress, but his eyes fell to his phone. He was mad at himself for hyperfocusing on Natalie, on that photograph, but he'd been waiting for this for years. Shaking his head, he returned to his project and eagerly awaited a reply.

[Namingtoohard]

Natalie's next few days passed in something akin to normal fashion. She spent her time checking up on those she was charged with looking after, paying them visits or sending them messages as appropriate. As always, she spent a good measure of her free time practising her craft, determined to at least maintain her skills, if not outright improve. Again, old furniture proved to be the object of choice, though she found herself craving something more. A harder task, a bigger challenge, something to push herself. The rest of Natalie's time was split between the messages she exchanged with Luuk, and the search that she was conducting on his behalf. In the days that followed she managed to dig through the vast majority of old memorabilia that she collected, in preparation for the eventual visit he had promised her.

Speaking of his visit, Natalie found the idea made her both excited and nervous. This was her opportunity to prove to him that magic really existed. Show Luuk her magic, and inform him that it was his, too. Would he believe her, or think she was merely playing some sort of prank on him? Accept it, or call her crazy? A physical demonstration would be a hard thing to argue against, but...well, there was no telling how well he would cope. Still, she was committed to trying. He had wanted to see her work, and Natalie was determined to show him.

When Luuk sent over a copy of his current schedule, picking out a moment when they were both free proved to be relatively easy. Once they had managed to confirm the date and time, she was quick to message him a copy of her full address, along with a few questions. Simple queries, such as how he managed to plan on getting there, and if it would be easier if she picked him up from the nearest subway station or something else along those lines.

Once they had everything arranged, she spent the rest of the day almost feeling giddy with anticipation. The next few days were spent in a hurried frenzy as she tried to get ready, despite the fact that there was relatively little to do. All of her boxes of memories were stored away, tucked back into the nooks and crevices from whence they came, hidden out of both sight and mind. She cleaned up her apartment as best as she was able, though the end result wasn't quite clean per se. It just seemed to revert to its usual state of organised messiness, instead of the veritable trash pile it seemed to become when things got out of hand. Her nervousness seemed to grow as the week wore on, and by midday on Monday she was forced to admit to herself that there was nothing more to do but wait.

Like it or not, Natalie was as ready as she was going to be. Tomorrow would be the day, and she simply had to wait for it to begin.

[Ashen]

The weekend passed without much fanfare. Luuk had been invited out by a few classmates, a "pre-finals celebration" as they called it, but Luuk had politely declined. He wasn't one for parties, not when he had things to do. Instead, he spent his days adding finishing touches and revising where he could. By the time his first final rolled around, Luuk was exhausted but satisfied with the work he'd put in that semester.

The final was a breeze, and Luuk was sure he'd gotten at least ninety-five percent of the questions correct. He headed to his second of the day early, a test in Western European history, which proved to be a challenge. He was sure he walked out with a passing grade, and by late afternoon, Luuk headed back to his room to celebrate being done for the day. There, he threw himself onto his bed and checked his phone. He had to admit, texting Natalie like this was... nice. Luuk hadn't often talked with any of his classmates outside of school, and he liked the excitement he felt when his phone vibrated or the smiles he got thinking of what they would do when he did visit. He wanted to see how she lived, learn more about this mystery woman. Typing her address into his GPS, he debated how he would get there. It was too far for a walk; he'd end up taking the train and walk from there, not wanting to inconvenience Natalie by making her pick him up. After telling her as much, he lay back on his bed, smiling to himself. Even if he didn't have a job yet for after he graduated, or any sort of plan whatsoever, he felt, finally, at least he had a friend.

That night, he read over his family tree project again. He typed up a lengthy but thorough conclusion and finally stopped. Was he done? Luuk looked over it again, glazing over his introduction, double-checking his charts. After all this time, this project, this autobiographical anthology of history and geology and genealogy and culture--his entire university career was summarized by this twenty-four-page paper. Luuk set it to print and reached for his phone to text Natalie, to thank her and offer to email it to her, but he stopped himself. He was going to see her tomorrow. Maybe he'd bring his paper as a surprise, as an accomplishment possible only because of her.

He slept well that night for the first time in what felt like ages. He awoke late that morning and drowsily made himself a coffee. Checking for any updates from Natalie, he prepared for his day. Would she care at all about his project? He'd tucked it into his backpack, but suddenly he was having second doubts. She had said she wanted to read it, but had she just been polite? Shaking his head, Luuk grabbed his steaming coffee and sipped at it. It wasn't up to him to question her. She'd said she wanted to read it, so he was going to offer it. Grabbing his backpack and looking over its contents for his wallet and the train ticket he'd bought online, he headed out the door.

On his way to the station, Luuk noticed a florist on the street. He hesitated, wondering if Natalie would appreciate such a gesture. Would it be sending the wrong message? He didn't want to make her uncomfortable, but she looked like the kind of woman who liked flowers, so maybe... He spent several minutes trying to decide before finally silencing his thoughts and making up his mind.

With his backpack lazily slung over one shoulder and a bouquet of tulips in his hand--"Roses will make her think you're proposing something romantic!" the young and peppy florist had assured him--Luuk walked from the train station and to the address he'd saved from Natalie's text. He stopped in front of an apartment complex, a quaint place that already felt homey just from the outside. Luuk rapped his knuckles against the door of her apartment and stepped away from the door. Would she mind Luuk asking questions and prying into how she worked? Would she mind him tossing his project onto her, his enthusiasm too over the top? Had she ever found that photo? As always, his thoughts were running far too quickly. Luuk stood, humbly dressed in jeans and a button-down, hair brushed back and beard trimmed. The smile on his face suggested he was going to visit a close friend, and absently he wondered if he'd overwhelm her and lose his chances to get to know her completely.

[Namingtoohard]

By the time the day of Luuk's visit finally arrived, Natalie was almost beside herself with anticipation. Like a young child the day before Christmas, she both slept rather poorly, and woke several hours earlier than was strictly necessary. Fully aware that attempting to sleep any more was likely pointless, she hauled herself out of bed despite the ungodly hour. Natalie felt surprisingly energetic for someone running on so little sleep, but quickly set about preparing some instant coffee regardless. Even if she didn't feel like she needed the boost in that particular moment, today was going to be a big day, and she still had to feed her caffeine addiction.

The earlier parts of the morning were spent going through the motions of her normal morning routine. Breakfast first, closely followed by a shower, and then a fresh set of clothes - a simple pair of grey tracksuit pants and a white top, all designed for comfort more than style. She didn’t bother with shoes either, since she didn’t plan on leaving the house. The remainder of her free time was spent doing a few menial tasks around the apartment, more with the intention of killing time before Luuk's arrival than actually accomplishing anything meaningful. She made sure the apartment's messiness was within tolerance, checked her emails, and made sure that she was up to date with her work - all punctuated by frequent glances at the clock. As the moment grew closer nervousness began to overtake her excitement, and her focus shifted to double-checking everything she had prepared over the past couple of days. Everything was perfect, but going through the motions helped ease her anxiety, even if only a little.

When the knock finally came Natalie was quick to hurry towards the door, and pulled it open within mere moments of Luuk's knocking. She greeted him with a warm smile and a cheery hello, before her eyes widened in surprise at the sight of the flowers in his hand.

"Oh! Are those supposed to be for me? You didn't need to do that." Natalie was unable to keep the delight from her voice, the words bursting past her lips before she could stop them. She spent a brief moment staring at the flowers in delight, before reaching as if to take them from him. Only too late did she realise that she was blocking the doorway, and Mec was still standing out in the hallway. She quickly stepped aside, waving him into the apartment enthusiastically, and affording Luuk his first view of the cluttered, messy, and undoubtedly homely interior.

"Come in, come in. Feel free to take a seat, or have a look around. Just make yourself at home, really. I’m just going to go see if I can find a vase or something for these. I’ll be right back”

Natalie disappeared into the kitchen for a moment, leaving Luuk with a chance to look around and explore a little, if he so wished. The almost cramped confines of the apartment offered a surprising amount, considering Natalie’s work. Her coffee table was still pushed up against one wall to make space for the one she had been working on the other week, and those were hardly the only antiques scattered about. The place was still something of a mess, even beyond those, but in a much more mundane sort of way.

After a handful of moments spent doing some rather loud rummaging, Natalie returned with a stained glass vase held between her hands, now filled with water. She moved with some semblance of care as she carried it out from the kitchen, not wanting to disturb the flowers or spill any water. She set it down atop the coffee table currently situated between lounge and television, before turning her attention to Luuk good and proper.

“Can I get you anything? Coffee? Tea? A snack?” she asked politely, almost the vey picture of hospitality. There was an air of routine about the question, as if she felt the need to establish an answer before they moved on to more interesting topics.

[Ashen]

Natalie didn't take long at all to come to the door, as if she had been waiting for him all this time. Luuk greeted her with a smile and a cheery hello. She seemed to accept the flowers gratefully, the validation that Luuk hadn't realized he'd needed for the simple act. "Karen taught me to not show up to someone's home empty-handed," he murmured, an explanation, though he wondered if it were more than that. He had no idea how to thank Natalie for all she'd given him, and he figured some silly bouquet was a good enough start.

She disappeared in search of a place to put the tulips, so Luuk took the opportunity to survey the place. He looked over the living space, filled but not cluttered, and took special note of the furniture. Had this been furniture Natalie had fixed up herself? Crouching down next to a table, he examined the wood, the designs. The wood was flawless, a deep black; was it painted? It hardly appeared so, the paint so evenly spread across the entirety of the wood, and shimmering engravings climbing the legs of the table. Had Natalie really worked on something like this? Overcome with bleak curiosity, Luuk reached out to touch her handiwork, feel the grooves of the aged wood. The beautiful centerpiece looked touched by magic, as if some wizard had stolen this from Natalie's grasp and returned it only after kissing it with some complex spell. He wanted to know how it worked, what it looked like before and how Natalie had made it look like this. So lost in the artistry, Luuk didn't notice Natalie coming back.

He jumped the slightest bit when Natalie spoke to him, and suddenly red ran to his cheeks. Here he was, rubbing his hands over something she must have spent hours on. Think, Luuk, he scolded himself. You are not setting a good impression. He cleared his throat awkwardly and stood, brushing off his pants. "Sorry, I just--" he mumbled, his hands moving awkwardly in front of him, forming the words his mouth would not. He paused and tried again. "Did you do this? The craftsmanship is really beautiful, and the pattern along the legs... You've got a real talent." He glanced down at it again. "What tools do you use?" he asked. "Where do you get your inspiration from? Is this a personal project, or do you work on commission?"

Suddenly, Luuk brought his eyes back to Natalie. Question after question like this would annoy her, and he still hadn't even answered hers. "Oh," he said, an afterthought. "Sorry, um, no, I'm alright, thank you. I had a coffee before I left my dorm." His eyes caught on the tulips, now housed in a beautiful vase. "Did you make that too?" he breathed, awe creeping into his voice. "How many materials do you know how to work with, anyway?" Before he could stop himself, he was approaching her, eyes glued to the saturated glass. "I underestimated you," he said. "Who taught you?" His light eyes darted to hers again. Stop, he told himself, and he straightened. "Sorry, sorry," he muttered, shrugging. "I ask way too many questions. I'm just... amazed at this."

[Namingtoohard]

Whilst she didn't mention it specifically, there was no doubt that Natalie had caught sight of Luuk as he admired her work. As so often seemed to be her way, she waited patiently whilst her guest let fly with several questions at once, a small smile flickering across her face. Far from the normal look of polite patience, however, this one contained something more. An undisguised hint of pride. It had been a very long time since she had brought someone here of their own accord, and received praise from someone other than a buyer admiring their new property. This felt more meaningful, somehow. Knowing what Luuk really was, and what his admiration might really mean. Of course, that still left her with the tricky task of figuring out where to begin answering the myriad of questions he had put forth.

"No need to apologise. I'll take your curiosity as another compliment" Natalie answered, still smiling. "I generally stick to wood and ceramic, for the most part. I tend to find those easier, and the results more satisfying. I've done a little worth with leather and glass, occasionally, but nothing quite so remarkable as this." While she spoke, Natalie joined Luuk alongside the coffee table he had been admiring just a few moments before. "I...may have left this one out a bit longer than necessary, just for the opportunity to show it off" Natalie admitted, grinning a little sheepishly. She looked down at the table then, and reached out to brush its lacquered surface with her fingertips gently. A surprisingly affectionate gesture. It was hard, sometimes, letting go of the things she had worked on. The ones she was more proud of, at the very least. Still, the knowledge that there were other people out there who made use of her work made it a little bit easier.

"My parents taught me, though I don't think they ever expected me to go so far as to make a business out of it. At this point I've been doing it for longer than they ever did. I'm probably better at it, too" she added, punctuating the last part of her statement with a shrug. Her tone was overly casual - she wasn't bragging, but nor was there any room for false modesty. Tearing her eyes away from her latest piece, she turned her gaze back towards Mec again.

"Did you still want the chance to watch some of my work? It'd have to be something relatively small if you wanted me to finish it today. Probably a chipped mug o But in any case, I'm willing if you are"

[Ashen]

The way Natalie spoke, the way she displayed her work without arrogant pride nor undeserved modesty, made Luuk appreciate her as an artist even more. She was just honest, a simple woman with amazing talent trying to make a living, and Luuk found himself hanging on her words. He wanted to know more about her parents, about what kind of artists they were, but mostly he wanted to learn more about Natalie, about a woman he knew little about, but a woman who continued to surprise him every time he spoke to her.

And then came her question. Luuk met her eye, an excited sparkle behind his own. "Is that a serious question?" he asked. He motioned towards the table, than to the vase in her hands. "If I can walk out of here with any sort of clue as to how you make things look so beautiful, I'll be happy. Do you mind if I take notes?" He reached into his backpack for a notebook and pen. He was already scratching away at the paper when he spoke again. "I don't mind what you work on. That is, you don't have to finish it today. If there's anything you've been working on already, or some new project you want to start. If you wouldn't mind, I'd love to come back and watch the whole process, if it takes longer than today." He looked up at her again, knowing he was being overeager, but not seeing irritation in Natalie's eyes. "If that's alright?" he added a bit sheepishly, not wanting to offend her, but wanting to watch whatever part of her job she was willing to show.

He noticed how she hadn't answered some of his questions, how she didn't tell him what tools she worked. He figured he would see for himself soon enough, but a quick survey around the room left him clueless. Wasn't that unusual? Wouldn't an artist display her tools, or was Natalie more concerned about keeping her home looking clean for her guest? Luuk wished she hadn't gone through the trouble; a clean house was a house not easy to study. He shook his head, trying to not think of Natalie's home as a thing to be studied. He glanced down at his pad again, at the words he'd written in his notebook: Natalie's art, passion, passed through family, tools--? Was this as close as Luuk would get to having a parent teach him a skill passed down through generations? He scoffed at the idea; Natalie was no mother, was just a friend, and he was getting too far ahead of himself. He looked back at her, smiling. "I'd be delighted to watch, and maybe even help? Don't let me get in the way though."

[Namingtoohard]

"Oh, go ahead and take all the notes you like"

Despite the fact that Luuk hadn't even bothered to wait for an answer, Natalie answered his question with a dismissive wave. Inwardly, however, she found herself amused by the prospect. Just how well would he manage to maintain his composure when she showed him the truth of her craft, and revealed just how she really worked? Would he still be able to think of notes then, or would that notion be thrown entirely out the window in the face of what she was about to show him? Either way, they were about to find out.

"I'm afraid that I only prepared for something small today, but if you're interested enough to come back then maybe we can try something a little more ambitious" Natalie answered. Whilst she spoke, she busied herself rummaging about in the kitchen for a moment, before returning with several objects bundled together in her arms. She waddled over to the table, before setting them out one by one. First came an old ceramic mug, white in colour, with a sizeable chip near the rim. Next came a simple folded napkin, accompanied by both a handful of brushes of different sizes and a jar of what looked to be ink. When everything was arranged to her satisfaction, she helped herself to a seat.

Natalie's movements held an air of ceremony as she removed the lid from the jar, and then picked up her brush. Normally she would have spent several moments examining her object before attempting any sort of magecraft, but this one was relatively simple, and she had prepared in advance to avoid making Luuk wait. Still, as she dipped the brush into the ink, she realised how odd this must look to her guest. Even if he knew little about restoration, bare logic was probably enough to tell him that this wasn't exactly a traditional way to start.

"I like to make sure my hands are steady before I really get started. Its become a tradition of sorts. Indulge me for a moment" she offered. It was true, technically, even if not in the way that her words seemed to imply. Even so, it probably mattered little. She only needed to make it through the next few moments, and then everything would become clear.

She started by inking an open circle on the inside of her palm, as close to a perfect as she could make it. Next came a few simple lines, all bisecting each other at various points. To any other person - Luuk included, if he cared enough to step around behind to try and watch exactly what she was doing - they likely seemed meaningless. Irrelevant, if not outright erratic. To Natalie, however, they meant a great deal. More than simple method, there was a measure of intent to her madness. She'd pause only once during the rather short process to glance up at Luuk again, a simple question slipping from her lips.

"What's your favourite colour, Luuk?"

When Luuk spoke his answer, Natalie would finish off her little art project with one final flick of her wrist, before setting the brush down on the napkin she had prepared. She'd clean it of in just a moment, but for now she didn't want to risk smearing or otherwise ruining the strange ink piece she had just finished drawing on her own hand. She turned her attention back to her guest good and proper now, smiling cheerfully.

"Alright, I'm ready. Now watch closely"

Without any further delay, Natalie reached out and picked up the mug she had presented earlier, holding it so that her palm was pressed flat against the side of the thing. For a moment it would seem as if nothing were happening, before the mug slowly began to change. Black started creeping into its surface, as if the ink from Natalie's palm were bleeding into the mug's ceramic surface somehow. Once it had spread to cover the entire thing, the black would begin to fade, leaving a brilliant silver in its wake. What's more, the chips and cracks that had been visible earlier seemed to have vanished altogether. There were none of the usual marks of repair, without even the slightest cracks visible. It was almost as if the chip had never existed in the first place.

Without any sort of preamble or fanfare, Natalie set the mug down between them. Throughout the entire thing she fought to keep her expression neutral, devoid of any amusement or giddy joy that might suggest she was playing some sort of trick or practical joke on him. Instead, she kept her attention focused on Luuk, watching for any sort of reaction. This would be the telling moment. When she would find out if her gamble had been successful, or she had made some sort of terrible mistake by inviting him here like this.

[Ashen]

Luuk was silent as Natalie retrieved her supplies, absently writing in his notebook. She returned with a chipped mug and... paintbrushes? Luuk looked them over quizzically, but said nothing. He jotted down the differences in the brushes, the color of the paint. Was she intending to paint over the chip? But the mug was white. The paint--was it ink?--was dark. He looked to Natalie, questions burning behind his eyes, but he said nothing. He told himself to not interrupt her work, to watch and learn, but this wasn't making much sense.

Then, she grabbed a brush, and she dipped it in the paint. Luuk looked around at her supplies, searching for some piece of ceramic he must have missed before. Was the paint not paint at all, but glue? That might explain things, but what was she gluing? There were only the brushes here, and the mug, and a napkin. Luuk's pen rested lazily in his hand, his mind too active to take any notes. He listened to her explain, still just as confused. Steady her hand? But then she started painting herself, onto her hand. Bewildered, Luuk watched her, trying to work through what she was doing. Was she just toying with him? Had she invited him to her home just to make a fool of him? He looked to her eyes, to the concentration in her face. It didn't make any sense. He looked back down, at his notebook, and started writing again. Tools -- paintbrushes, ink?, napkin. Paint onto palm for practice? As he looked at his notes, he just grew more confused.

And then her question. "What?" Luuk responded, now more convinced she was just messing with him. "Silver?" he mumbled, confused at its relevance. She set the brush down, and finally she was ready to start. Was she not going to use the brush? Then what was she using? She picked up the mug and just held it, and Luuk was sure she was joking now. Nothing was happening. Luuk was just about to call her out, to ask her why she'd bring him here if she was just going to get his hopes up, but then he noticed it. The paint Natalie had used on her palm crept across the mug, covering every spot and filling in the cracks and chip all on its own. Luuk stared in awe at the performance, his mouth aimlessly opening and closing as if to ask questions his lips could not form. He looked to Natalie, questioning, then looked back to the mug. Then, the ink turned silver, leaving the mug glimmering, spotless, perfect.

In another moment, Natalie placed the mug down. She was acting natural, as if this were something she'd expected to happen. Luuk looked to her hand, to her eyes, searching for any clue, any indication that this was even half as wild as he thought it to be. The pen and notebook fell from Luuk's grasp to the floor, forgotten. He grabbed for the mug before he could think otherwise. He rubbed his hands over the mug, expecting the paint to come off or even smudge, but it was as if the mug wasn't painted at all. The chip had miraculously fixed itself, and Luuk felt at it, wondering if he'd imagined it all along. The mug was flawless, brand new. Luuk stared into the mug, expecting something to happen, but nothing did. Finally, he looked back to Natalie, speaking for the first time since she had begun her craft: "What?"

He motioned towards the mug, trying to form words but tripping over his thoughts. "I don't, you, uh--" He stammered, trying to voice his confusion. "How did you--?" he asked. "I mean, the ink, what is that, and how did you--the chip? The cracks? Is it glue? Is it cement? It's too shiny for cement. How did you--?" He mumbled more incomplete questions before finally setting the mug down again. Looking back at Natalie, he just said, "Huh?"

[Namingtoohard]

Natalie tried her hardest to remain stoic throughout Luuk's understandably surprised reaction, but it seemed that she were fighting a losing battle. Despite her best efforts, the corners of her mouth twitched upwards into something resembling a smile. There was joy in that expression, yes. It went beyond the simple amusement of someone who had tricked a friend, however. There was pride there, too, and perhaps even a hint of excitement. It had been years since she had shared this with someone. Since she had been able to share it with anyone. It felt like a great weight had been lifted off her chest, to finally share her knowledge after all this time.

Rather predictably, Luuk responded with his usual barrage of questions, even if they were a little more confused this time. It seemed that some vestige of his curiosity remained, even when hewas unable to rationalise what he had seen. As per usual, Natalie waited throughout before attempting to answer any of them. In the meantime, she set about using the rag she had selected earlier to clean off her brush, before attempting to wipe away the faded and smeared ink stains that lingered on the inside of her palm. The chances of someone seeing them and questioning her about it was relatively slim, but it was better to avoid taking chances, and they could interfere with future magic if left unattended to, with potentially disastrous results. When she was done, she finally set everything down and folded her hands together on the table in front of her, before turning her attention to Luuk good and proper.

"You wanted to know how I do my work, and now you've seen it for yourself. I call it restoration for the purposes of supporting myself, but you'd probably call it magic" she answered, giving him a wan smile. "I would have told you earlier, but I sincerely doubt you would have believed me, and its not really the sort of thing one shows off in public." She knew better than anyone else just how bad of an idea that was. Mostly because she was the only one who remembered what happened the last time magic became public knowledge.

"Both of your parents were able to do, before they were killed. That was how we originally came to know each other, all those years ago. I dare say that you could too, if you so wished. The ability is usually hereditary, though its not a sure thing. It tends to skip a generation every now and then. Either way, I'd prefer if you kept this to yourself.

Natalie tried to keep her tone casual, but not with total success. There was no denying her excitement, especially considering the possibilities that her words suggested. She didn't notice the slipup that she had made, with the bulk of her focus on how Luuk might react to this news. Learning more seemed like a given, considering his inquisitive nature, but she wouldn't feel totally content until she heard his answer directly.

[Ashen]

There was a smug satisfaction in Natalie's eyes while Luuk stumbled over his words and thoughts, and he couldn't make sense of that, either. It seemed she had invited him here with the sole purpose of making a fool of him, but that wasn't nearly as important to him as what he'd just witnessed. He wanted to know how this magic worked, how he could recreate it later, how she made it seem so flawless.

But then Natalie mentioned one little thing that turned Luuk's jittery eyes, now perfectly focused, to her. "What?" he repeated, now more incredulous. His parents had been able to do this, too? His parents were wizards? Was that what he could call them? He shook his head. This wasn't a video game; magic wasn't real. He turned back down to the mug again. It was the only explanation that made any sense, and he couldn't deny that. He bit his lip, trying to form any words that would lead him to more information, more of an understanding of this confusing phenomenon. But Natalie went on, as if knowing he would not be able to speak. "I dare say that you could too," she said, and suddenly Luuk felt that everything he'd learned about himself since meeting Natalie had been wrong.

A boy with amnesia, without parents, a boy descended from magic-making people; could that have been real? Luuk's gaze fell as he tried to work through his past decade. Had the magic been responsible for his lack of memories before ten? And his parents, had they gone because--wait. "Hold on," he said, bringing his eyes back to Natalie. "Before they were killed?"

She'd slipped it in there, that small detail about his parents. He'd known they were dead, but killed? "Why would anyone kill them?" His voice was quiet, childlike. "What... what did they do? Am... Am I in danger, too?" He looked to his hands, the hands of a man used to writing too many essays, playing too many video games. What else were these hands capable of? He looked to the mug, wondering if he could do something similar. Of course not; he would have figured it out by now. ...Right?

"How... How do I... try?"

[Namingtoohard]

Natalie was so excited by the prospect of having someone to share her secret with that she didn’t realise her mistake until it was too late, and Luuk began to question the exact fate of his parents. Her smile faded as the realisation hit her, smothering her joy like a wave.

Her first instinct was to play it off and try and explain that she had simply been referring to the other driver, but Natalie stopped herself before the words could slip past her lips. She’d spent so much time lying to people, Luuk included, just to get to this point. He deserved a little bit of truth now. Besides, if learning about this was going to put him in danger, then it seemed only right that he know before making his decision.

“The…official story is what I told you before. As far as public record is concerned, the two of them did die in a car accident together” Natalie started, sounding infinitely more hesitant than she had before. This was hardly an easy topic to discuss at the best of times, even for her, and she’d had years to try and process it. “There was a time when our magic was public knowledge. A group of humans turned against us, and started killing practitioners almost indiscriminately. I suspect your parents were caught in the worst of it, and the car crash was a story created to cover up the death of public figures”

Natalie’s voice was quiet as she spoke, barely more than a whisper. This retelling was an incredibly watered-down version of events, but even so, it took just about all Natalie’s control to keep herself calm. Given how hard it had been for Luuk to find out his parents were dead in the first place, she doubted he would take to this news any better. Still, she pushed onwards.

“So, perhaps you can understand why I’ve had to be so…secretive. If there are any other practitioners out there, then they’re still in hiding. As far as I’m aware, I’m the last person actively practicing magic.”

It was at about this point that Natalie realised she had started fidgeting with her tools, and she forced herself to be still, folding her hands together on the table in front of her.

“If you want to learn, then I’m more than willing to teach you. Still, if you agree, then you’ll be accepting similar risks. If you end up getting discovered, it could very well mean deaths for us both.” Natalie added, her gaze fixated on Luuk’s face. She waited a few moments for her words to sink in, before finally continuing. “If you want to forget about this whole thing, I won’t judge you for it. But if you still want to try, then all you need to do is paint a circle onto your hand, and press it into the mug. If you have the ability, we should see the same colour-bleeding effect as before, though it won’t actually change anything.”

With her explanation complete and her conscious satisfied, Natalie pushed the ink pot and brush towards Luuk’s half of the table, enough so that they were well within his reach, before withdrawing her hands. She had said her piece, and now there was nothing for her to do but wait and see what Luuk’s decision would be.

[Ashen]

Luuk was silent as Natalie explained what she'd said, paying attention to everything at once. Her demeanor had changed, as if he wasn't supposed to ask the question he obviously had to ask. Was it such a touchy subject for her? Natalie had known his parents after all; was she still sore about the loss of her friends? Luuk couldn't know the loss she felt, and perhaps he was poking where he shouldn't have been. But he had to know, even if it hurt her, even if it hurt him; he had to know what had happened to the parents he was only just meeting, years after their death.

When she had finished speaking, Luuk remained silent. Humans had turned against his parents... Did that make them not human? Was he human? His gaze dropped to his hands once more, as if some light, some spark would take hold in them, showing him all that did not make sense. His parents were murdered by people who wanted to eradicate magic from the world, who wanted to kill him, too. Did Natalie know where those humans were? Did she live every day in fear? He met her eye again, trying to see the words she wasn't saying. Suddenly, the chatterbox had nothing to say, too lost in his whirring, nonsensical thoughts. He couldn't understand any of this, but suddenly he knew there was a new responsibility on his shoulders, a responsibility to protect himself, and Natalie too.

She spoke again, this time explaining to him how the ability dormant within him should work. He swallowed hard, caught somewhere between disbelief and excitement, shock and horror. "O-oh," he mumbled, watching her push the tools of this craft closer towards him. Luuk hesitated. A part of him wanted to still believe this was a joke, that any second now confetti would fall from the ceiling and Natalie would yell something like, "Fooled ya!" before reality came crashing back down. But a bigger part of him wanted to try, wanted to connect with his parents in this simple but unexplainable way. He picked up the paintbrush, light and foreign in his hand. He juggled it between his right and left, wondering if he should use his dominant hand or the hand Natalie had used, but ultimately deciding it did not matter. He dipped the paintbrush in the ink, watching the thick black liquid drip from the bristles and back into the pot. Was he really about to try this...?

He was too logical for this. Luuk prepared to set the brush down, ready to turn on Natalie. How dare she toy with him about his parents, play with his emotions like this. But a part of him stayed his hand, begged him to continue. Despite his better judgment, he raised the paintbrush to his hand and drew a circle, shaky and sloppy. He then picked up the mug and looked to Natalie, as if asking what he should do next.

Luuk couldn't fathom how much he was taking on. He could be killed for this, he and Natalie both, and the truth of that shook him to his very core. But there was a boyish excitement that remained adamant, a fascination with the occult, a need to know everything about his parents that was humanly possible. If the threat of death came with that, so be it. If he had to fight for the right to survive in a world his parents could not, he didn't know that he was ready for that, but he would die trying to find out.

[Namingtoohard]

To Natalie’s ears, the silence that followed her little speech was almost deafening. The air felt pregnant with tension, both heavy and suffocating, and she spent the entire time turning her own words over in her mind. Could she have explained things in a more logical order? Could she have worded things in a more cohesive way? Her thoughts were a whirling maelstrom of doubts and hindsight, all largely pointless and irrelevant now that her moment had passed.

A part of her wanted to start chatting again. To try and prompt Luuk towards an answer, whether it be a yes or a no. Natalie did her best to suppress the urge, however, fighting to keep her hands still and her expression neutral. She had just dumped a great deal of information on him at once – a great deal of it likely very shocking, if not outright confronting. Confirmation that his parents were dead had already seemed rough on Luuk, and now here she was, suggesting that they had been deliberately murdered. No, she owed him the chance to digest all this and make his own decision, despite how badly her anxiety might be urging her to action.

Her shoulders dropped slightly as Luuk finally set about painting a circle on the palm of his hand – a little bit of tension flooding out of her now that his decision was supposedly made. She would gesture for him to press the circle against the side of the mug, cupping it so that the entire thing was in contact with the ceramic surface. That was it, really – there were no mystic incantations to mutter, spirits to invoke, or anything else of the sort. Now they simply watched, and waited to see if the spell would take.

Provided that her intuition proved correct, and the paint began to bleed into the side of the mug, Natalie would let out a shaky breath. One that she hadn’t even realised she had been holding. With her suspicions confirmed and Luuk supposedly okay with the responsibility he was accepting, she could finally relax a little. All the secrecy, all her work, was finally coming to fruition.

“Well. I suppose that’s it, then. You’re really one of us” Natalie offered, leaning back in her chair. She hadn’t realised just how nervous she had been about the possibility of him walking away until now, when that burden had finally been lifted.

“It feels good to finally have someone I can discuss this sort of thing with. Its been years since I've met anyone who can do the same thing that I can. Even if they only just found out themselves” she added, smiling freely. After a second, it occurred to Natalie that she was probably oversharing a little. She hastily cleared her throat, before quickly trying to push past it with a matter that was probably a little more immediately relevant.

“In any case, I can start teaching you the basics right away, if you would like. But if you’d prefer a little more time to let everything sink in, then I don’t mind waiting. We can always keep today casual, if you’d prefer” she offered, doing her best to sound considerate. Whether or not it was working, however, was another issue entirely.

[Namingtoohard]

Double post. Pls ignore

[Ashen]

Luuk continued to do as he was told, following Natalie's gestures and waiting to see if anything had happened. He was still for several moments, mug in hand, wondering if he was supposed to feel anything. When he didn't, he shifted uncomfortably, as if to tell her it hadn't worked, that he wasn't worthy. Luuk was about to set the mug down when he saw it, the ink gone from his hand, fading into the ceramic Natalie had already colored. He stared hard at his hand, half-wondering if he had written anything at all. He looked back to Natalie blankly, wondering if that was it, if it was over, if he really was one of them.

His thoughts were too mush to make sense of. Natalie's words weren't helping, more information in an already full brain. He hesitated, trying to form the proper questions, but he didn't even know what he wanted to know. She hadn't known another mage in years? Just how rare were they? What would this mean for their future? But he didn't know how to ask any of them, questions fallen like ice, shattering before they passed his lips. "I'm... not sure I can handle the basics right now," he admitted. He looked to the notebook he'd had, the notebook that could not contain what he'd just witnessed, experienced. How could he take notes on what science could not describe?

Luuk looked again to the mug, and then to the ink. "It's just like," he started, but his question fizzled on his tongue. He shook his head, trying to dismiss his incomplete thoughts, but they came back ferociously, demanding answers. Luuk stood suddenly, his chair nearly falling with his abrupt force. "I need time," he said. "This doesn't make sense, it's not real. I mean, it's real. I just. I'm..." Unable to speak, he willed his lips shut. "I sound like an idiot," he announced, then bit his tongue. "Are there sources on this? Can I research it?" But he assumed there wouldn't be, and he waved off his questions before Natalie could answer them. "Never mind," he mumbled. Defeated, he threw his notebook back into his backpack and sighed. What a day.

In his backpack, he remembered, was his history project. He had finished it and wanted to show Natalie, but in light of everything that had occurred, he felt that he was no longer able. With all this new information, he realized now that it was incomplete. How could he write a history paper about his lineage and leave out the fact that they were capable of wonders such that the current world didn't know? Would Dr. V fail him for fabricating such strange tales, or would the tired professor, for some reason that defies logic, believe him in all this madness?

Luuk tucked the project back into its folder. He couldn't show Natalie now, not with the holes now littering his paper. He would fix it, tonight, and bring it back to her tomorrow. "Are you doing anything tomorrow?" he asked. "I want to learn more--I do. I need some time to think, and to write, you know? I... I need some time alone." He motioned to his hands. "With all this."

[Namingtoohard]

Natalie couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed when her guest decided that was enough for one day, but she quickly tried to squash the thought. She had known in advance that she would be dumping a lot of information on him today, and it was probably best that she give him some time to process everything at his own pace. She had waited several years for this moment, and had accomplished something she had been dreaming about for nearly as long. What was an extra day, compared to the stretch that she had already waited? What was it, compared to the things she had just done to Luuk’s perception of himself, his life, and the world as a whole? She was starting to sound a little bit like a broken record, but her offer was genuine. Even so, she couldn’t help but jump a little as he abruptly stood, and chuckled softly at the unexpected little insult that slipped out amongst all his confused mutterings.

“You don’t sound like an idiot…or not without cause, at least. I know its probably a little difficult to wrap your head around…well, everything.” Natalie offered, doing her best to sound empathetic. Truth be told, she had never experienced quite the same sort of shock – she had grown up with her parents to teach her this sort of thing, after all. Raise her to it. She had grown up knowing what was possible, and what she was capable of. Luuk could hardly say the same. “God knows I probably could have done a better job explaining everything to you, if I had prepared a little more. I got so caught up in getting to this moment that I didn’t stop and think to actually think about how I’d go about it when the time came. So you can blame that one on me, if you like”

Whilst she spoke, Natalie rose to her feet, but in a less volatile manner than her guest. She pushed the chair back and rose in one smooth motion, the wooden legs scraping against the floorboards quietly. Given Luuk’s choice, it seemed that there wouldn’t be any more magic today, which gave her something to do with her hands whilst they spoke. She set about cleaning up and packing away the small collection of things she had gotten out for her demonstration, though she continued to chat all the while.

“I can definitely make time tomorrow, if you think that will be long enough for you to digest everything. Just text me in the morning and let me know or something, yeah? Either way, I’d advise against trying against anything yourself until we’ve at least covered the basics. Things can go wrong in rather unpredictable ways if you aren’t quite sure what you’re doing” Natalie offered, her tone casual, despite the implied consequences. Once she was done, she was quick to move back Luuk’s way.

“If you want hang around for a bit and chat about something a little more straightforward, you’re more than welcome to stay. But if you’d prefer to just take the extra time to think things over, then…” Natalie continued, before giving something akin to a casual shrug. “Either way, its been a pleasure.”

[Ashen]

Natalie was being so kind, so nonchalant, that Luuk had to wonder if she had any idea what kind of existential crisis she had just dropped on him. He could barely focus on the conversation, too busy letting his mind wander far into the realm of what was previously known as impossibility. "I'll text you," he responded somewhat hastily. Would a single day be enough time to process all of this? No, and he knew that, but he also knew himself. Luuk wouldn't stand to be ignorant of the basics for long, and even with an ounce of understanding of this new skill set he possessed, he would be jumping in headfirst, eager to see where he'd get.

"I think," he continued, eyes still vacant, mind still wandering, "I'd like some time to myself." He glanced back towards his notebook. How would he study the notes he didn't take? What if his memory, pristine as it was, failed him this once? He shook the thoughts, struggling to focus on Natalie again. "Yeah, I need to go home, figure some stuff out. I've got an exam tomorrow anyhow, and I ought to prepare for that. Probably." He didn't even know which of his remaining finals was tomorrow, but he hoped it wasn't an important one. With all of this, he knew there was no way he'd get any revisions done.

Luuk thanked Natalie for inviting him over and exposing him her magic. He thanked her for trusting him, for showing him he was capable of such talents. He was still stumbling over his words when he turned to walk away from her home, now a treasure trove of magical secrets. He had a feeling he would be there again, many times, learning more than he'd ever image.

Contrary to what he'd told his new mentor, he did not go home to his dorm. Instead, Luuk found himself in his university's library, gazing at the towering shelves filled with titles no one would care to pick up. There had to be something, he told himself, and so he began to look. He scoured the library, searching for anything with a mere mention of magic in its title, summary, or first few pages. Mostly, he turned up with fantasy novels, young adult fiction and children's tales, with the occasional memoir of a medieval woman accused of witchcraft. The titles on Wicca didn't help, nor did the rest of the books his library had of unpopular religions. He only left the library when, at closing time, the staff was forced to kick him out. By then, he had more questions and fewer answers than he knew what to do with.

He went back to his dorm and sat at his computer, continuing his search for magic for only a few minutes. It was fruitless, he realized, and he was just wasting his time. Instead, he pulled up the draft of his project, the essay of his family, the piece he had intended to give Natalie. Avoiding going to bed at an ungodly hour, just barely, he got himself in bed just as he finished his new last sentence. Maybe now, finally, his project would really be complete.

Luuk woke late that morning and stumbled his way to the giant lecture hall. His professor only raised a brow at him as he entered, panting, a minute before his exam was to start. He looked over the tiny bit of notes he could before the exams were distributed, and he came out of the room an hour later with far less confidence than he was comfortable with. Another test done, he texted Natalie about when he was free that day. He then returned to the library, this time to re-edit and pour over the words of his project, hoping it didn't sound as barbaric as he thought it did.

[Namingtoohard]

Every bit the image of a courteous host, Natalie acted both polite and patient as Luuk packed up his things and prepared to leave. She didn’t bother peppering him with questions, or make any further attempts to try and convince him to return soon. Had she known that he had an exam tomorrow, she likely would have tried to insist on another day, but there was no helping that now. Instead, she settled for walking him to the front door once he was ready, and then said her farewells.

It all had a strange semblance of normalcy, considering what the two of them had just discussed. The thought brought a small smile to Natalie’s lips as she watched Luuk head down the stairs, back towards ground level. When he had rounded the corner and disappeared from view, she lingered for just a few moments longer, before finally slipping back inside.

She had cleared her schedule in the leadup to today’s meeting with Luuk. Natalie had anticipated him staying for a little longer, even if he hadn’t wanted to start his first actual lesson. Now that he was gone, she found herself with a surprising and unexpected lack of things to do. Even so, it was hard for her to feel disappointed with the way things had turned out. She certainly could have prepared better, but Luuk had seemed open-minded enough, despite the stumbles. With nothing planned for the rest of the day, Natalie decided to do the one thing she always did – practice. It certainly seemed like a good idea when she considered the fact that she might end up teaching in the near future.

The next morning, Natalie woke rather early, feeling something like panic. She made a quick grab for her phone, and let out a soft sigh of relief at the total lack of notifications that greeted her. It wasn’t Luuk’s text that she had been worried about – quite the opposite, really. It was thoughts of her supervisor that had her heart rate up, after what she had done yesterday. A quick glance at the clock followed, and she let out a soft groan as the realisation that it wasn’t quite 6am yet sunk in. She lay there in the dark for a few moments, silently cursing herself and debating whether it was worth trying to get back to sleep, before reluctantly pushing back the covers and climbing out of bed.

Her day started much the same as the previous one, with both a shower and healthy dose of coffee to help her wake up. Unlike the previous day, Natalie was supposed to go out and check up on one of the families that were under her care. Even so, she was happy to leave that until the evening, just in case Luuk did decide to meet up again. In the meantime, there was little for her to do but pass the time and wait for his message.

When it did eventually buzz, Natalie was quick to reach for her phone. She couldn't help but smile when she saw the message, and was quick to thumb out a reply to Luuk inviting him over as soon as he was ready. From that point onwards, her day became an entirely different sort of waiting game. Natalie found herself glancing at the clock more and more frequently, and even trying to estimate exactly what time Luuk would likely arrive.

[Ashen]

It wasn't long before Natalie replied, and almost just as quickly Luuk was heading to the train station again. His mind hadn't quieted once since he'd left Natalie's apartment, and now, he was finally going to get some answers, or at least some demonstrations. He didn't know how much he was going to learn today, or at all, but he knew Natalie's teaching had to be better than his university's literature collection on the matter. She had mentioned other mages, so Luuk found it odd that there was nothing about magic across the entire library. Almost like mages had been snuffed out entirely. Just what sort of danger was he stepping back into?

He stepped off the train and started to Natalie's apartment, all the while rehearsing what he would say. He needed to not trip over his words this time, lest Natalie think him even more of a bumbling idiot. Luuk struggled to slow his thoughts, to calculate his words. After careful consideration, I thought I'd ask you a bit about how your magic manifested. You were taught--how? Was it always an ability you knew you possessed? He'd prepared questions for this, and he had about half an infinity more swirling in his head. Are there other mages who can teach me too? Would they do their magic differently? He went over each question, and by the time he reached Natalie's door he had a good idea of what he wanted to know.

When he saw her, same cool air as the day before, came relaxed composure in the face of this impossibility, Luuk's script dissolved on his tongue. He didn't even utter a greeting before he was bombarding her, asking her about the workings of his strange art. "Do you have any tomes?" he started, making a sign with his hands as if to mime opening a book. "Anywhere I can read about this? I couldn't find anything when I looked and I thought if anyone you would have something or if not maybe we could write something together some time but of course I need to learn first so where do I started what are the basics?" Never out of breath, Luuk looked on with eager eyes, dying to absorb any information Natalie was willing to give.

It was only as an afterthought that Luuk sheepishly said, "Oh yeah, also, hi." He waved at her, cheeks reddening. He'd specifically prepared so that he wouldn't do this. Shaking his head, he motioned towards her apartment. "Sorry, I just... I get so excited, you know? I love learning stuff, and this stuff is stuff my mum and dad knew, stuff they lived, and I've always felt like I could never feel connected with them, all my life, they were just ghosts I didn't know, but I finally have a way to connect with them, and I want to know everything I can. I'm... I'm rambling again, sorry." Luuk chuckled softly. Natalie was probably annoyed with him, and he wouldn't blame her. He never shut up; how could he? He just entered his quest as a video game character. He wanted to learn it all.

"Here," he suggested, "instead of me asking questions, why don't you show me what you meant to in whatever way you feel is most appropriate? You should be the one to decide what that means." He hesitated, noticing something else. "First, can I come in?"

[Namingtoohard]

Natalie quickly decided to try and do something productive with her time, instead of just sitting around twiddling her thumbs and waiting for Luuk to arrive. She began by setting out several of the tools she usually used to perform her magic – brushes, ink, and even a few different calligraphy pens - as well as a few small items that might prove useful as demonstration or practice pieces. Once she was satisfied that everything was ready, Natalie made some small attempt to clean up her apartment. The chances she made any sort of substantial progress before Luuk arrived were minimal, but it felt good to make an attempt. Better than sitting around and just trying to pass the time, at least.

She was relatively quick to answer when the knock finally came, abandoning the clothes she had been in the process of packing away to go greet her guest. All smiles and good cheer, she was ready to invite him inside, only to be cut short by a barrage of questions. Her eyes widened at the sudden outpouring, surprise written into the lines of her face. Whilst this was hardly an unusual occurrence with Luuk around, she had at least expected them to get out of the doorway first.

“Hello to you too, Luuk. Come on in” she offered once he was finally done. She was quick to step out of the way, gesturing for him to come on in. Once they were both sequestered away inside her apartment, the front door closed behind them, things began much as they had during yesterday’s visit. Natalie quickly told Luuk to make himself at home, disappeared into the kitchen, and asked if he would like coffee, tea, or anything else she could readily provide. When she returned, be it with one cup or two, Natalie finally felt something resembling ready. It was finally time for them to begin.

“Given what you said earlier, I assume you’re committed to going down this path, despite the inherent risks of discovery” she started. Whilst she spoke, she set her mug down on the table, before helping herself to a seat. It wasn’t a topic that she wanted to dwell on, but it felt important enough to try and confirm. Pending any sort of acknowledgement or confirmation from Luuk, she would continue.

“First of all, let me preface this by saying I’ve never had any sort of apprentice of my own before. So please, bear with me a little if I’m not quite as…articulate as I could be. The last time I went through anything like this was back when I was a kid, and my first mentor was teaching me” Natalie offered. She took a moment to clear her throat, the gesture greatly exaggerated, as if it might distract from this admission of inexperience.

“As far as I know, there aren’t any published books left about this sort of thing. I don’t have any left in my possession, at least, and I imagine the vast majority were destroyed during the time we were…targeted. If there are any left out there, then they’re probably hidden too well for someone like me to find. Our skills were, more often than not, passed on verbally between generations. Writing is hardly one of my greatest skills, but we could try and come up with something, if that would help you” she offered, punctuating the final sentence of her little speech with a nonchalant shrug.

“I hadn’t planned on giving another demonstration after yesterday, but if you would like one now that you’ve had some time to adjust, I’d be happy to oblige. In any case, I just figured that we’d begin with a simple explanation of the basics, and then a few practice exercises, if that’s alright with you.”

[Ashen]

Instead of scaring him like they were probably supposed to, Natalie's warning only excited Luuk further, reminding him of his convictions. This was dangerous work, the likes of which he had never even imagined before. Just days ago he had been an ordinary university student ready to apply to ordinary jobs and live an ordinary, unfulfilling future, but now he felt that he was keeping a secret, reclaiming a birthright, and the drama of it all was intoxicating. "I accept the risks," he said calmly, and he was about to add more when he stopped himself. That was all. He would decide what those risks meant later.

Her warning left Luuk wondering of a childhood he might have had. Did his parents pass on this art to him? Did his father chuckle when Luuk didn't get his magic just right? Did his mother guide his hand over different objects, explaining in that soft of way mothers always do? Had Luuk been as eager a student then as he was now? He only replied with a nod. Whatever teaching style Natalie chose, Luuk would follow suit. All this information was inside him already, deep inside the confines of his memory that had been locked away for so long. Now, Natalie only had to unlock that, and he knew he could figure all of this out.

As she continued to speak, Luuk just felt like an idiot. Of course there were no books about it; how would any of them survive? How would any of them be understood by a population without magic? He nodded sheepishly. Writing a book... That caught his attention. "You'd want to write a book with me?" he piped in. With just the suggestion his mind was left wandering, flipping through the pages of a book he'd co-written, a book about magic. It was such a far fetched idea, yet it intrigued him. "Let's see if I'm any good at this first, yeah?"

Luuk took the same seat he had yesterday, and he clutched his cup of tea, still unsipped, already forgotten about. "I won't say no to another presentation," he said. "Maybe this time I can take actual notes instead of just... staring. Sorry about that." He reached for the same notebook, opened up to his half-finished notes. "Do you always use brushes?" he asked, motioning towards those she had laid out. "Does the tool matter? Could I use crayons if I wanted to?" He picked up one of her brushes, turned it over, studied it, and put it back down. He scribbled a note into his book about it. "What did you have planned for the day? More mugs?" Luuk had fountains of questions for her. Where she lacked experience in teaching, Luuk had too much experience in learning. He was ready to learn everything he could, but he watched Natalie's reactions, watched how she treated his questions. He didn't want to overwhelm her, and so he tried to keep them steady. "We can start when you're ready," he suggested.

[Namingtoohard]

Now that the moment had arrived, Natalie couldn’t help but wish she had spent a little bit more time preparing for this moment. She had been so focused on things actually getting to this point that she had neglected to plan out any of the actual lessons she intended to give, and now wasn’t quite sure where to start. She could run through the basics in her mind easily enough, but explaining them in a way that would be easy to understand for a beginner was another matter entirely. Thankfully, she did have one saving grace. On this particular occasion, Luuk’s perchance for asking dozens of questions in as many seconds undoubtedly worked to her benefit.

“The tool does matter, but not for the reasons you’re thinking. You could use just about anything, theoretically, and find a way to make it work. That said, precision is an important part of what we do, as you’re about to learn” Natalie answered. Whilst she spoke, she set about getting her tools ready – unstoppering her paint, selecting a brush, and laying out the object she intended to transform. This time, instead of a mug, she laid out a single fork in the space between them.

“Most people develop their own preferences. Carvings tend to be the most useful, but they’re significantly more difficult to manage. I prefer brushes, because its easy to vary the width of your lines in the middle of each stroke. I can’t imagine crayons would have any real benefits, but you’re welcome to try” she answered, a small smile flickering across her features as her gaze flickered up towards him. Ready to begin, she laid her hand out on the tabletop, palm facing up, so that he might be able to watch her work.

“We begin with a circle, which dictates the length of the transformation. A closed circle dictates a permanent change, whilst a broken one indicates a temporary one. The bigger the gap, the shorter it will last” she offered whilst she worked. Naturally, she started by doing exactly as she had described, marking around the outer edges of her palm in a circle. “The size doesn’t matter per se, but its easier to be precise with a larger area. Smaller ones, of course, are more subtle.”

Natalie seemed to relax whilst she worked. The words seemed to flow easier once she had started, as if beginning were the biggest hurdle. Even beyond that, there was something comforting about getting to work her craft. The familiarity found in practicing the gestures she had spent her entire life perfecting was soothing, in its own way. The longer she continued, the more convinced she became that she knew what she was talking about. Yes, she could do this.

“Learning about the markings is probably the hardest part. It’s probably a little bit like learning an entirely new language, I imagine. For now, it’ll suffice for you to know that each little deviation in the line dictates what change you are going to inflict upon the object” she continued. To make her point, Natalie began painting a line through the middle of her circle. Partway down, she shifted the line to the left slightly with a tiny diagonal stroke, before finishing it off with another straight line. Her work done, she reached for the fork that she had laid out a few moments earlier. Within moments, she was no longer holding a fork, but a spoon instead. She’d hold it up for Luuk to examine briefly, before laying it back down on the table again. Her work done, she’d set her tools aside, and set about wiping her hand clean with a towel she had set up earlier.

“Cleaning up is important, too. You don’t want any old markings to interfere with your next transformation, or give you away to anyone who knows our secrets” Natalie said. When she was done, she lay the towel aside, before turning her attention back to Luuk good and proper.

“In a moment, I’ll have you try for yourself. An actual transformation, not just a simple test, like last time. Something simple, of course, and I’ll make sure you don’t manage anything too catastrophic. First, though, show me your hands” she answered, holding out one of her hands as if expecting him to place his within it.

[Ashen]

Luuk scribbled away in his notebook, thankful for the opportunity to take down all the details he definitely wouldn't forget anyway. His handwriting was rushed as he tried to catch every detail. All this talk about shape sizes and patterns and a whole new language; was Luuk even up for that? He'd been able to do some amateur magic before, sure, but just how much could he perfect this foreign ability when he hadn't even known of its existence days ago?

He paid careful attention to how she drew her circle, writing down the dimensions he guessed at and replicating it in a sketch under his notes. Then, Natalie began to work her craft, and he watched as the ink dissolved into the tool again. In only moments, tines curved and combined, forming into the small scoop of a spoon. Luuk tried to write down how it happened, but even after having just seen it, he could come up with no words to describe what had transpired. Hesitating, pen in hand, Luuk sat there, once again bewildered. Just a few little curves, a few lines of ink, and it was like the object as it was known had never existed in the first place.

"So it's not just color," Luuk said, finally finding words to write down. "You can change the shapes, too..." He mumbled inaudibly for a moment, then scratched out something in his book and turned his attention back to the spoon. Natalie was wiping her hand, explaining the importance of that, so he jotted notes down about that, too. Anyone who knows our secrets... Luuk wondered how many people knew of this still, how safe he was in talking about it. Brushing those thoughts away for another time, he set down his pen and read over his notes. It still seemed so strange, even after having watched it twice now. Hopefully his notes would help later, because he wasn't sure, alone, he'd even have the confidence to attempt this again.

Natalie startled him. She wanted him to try a transformation? But what if he messed it up? He stayed silent, overthinking through all the possibilities. Natalie trusted him. He couldn't mess this up. He nodded, then cocked his head. "My hands?" he repeated. "Uh, sure." He set his pen into his notebook and rested it on the table. Luuk had calloused hands, the overworked hands of someone asked to write too many papers. They weren't dirty, nor were they smooth. He focused on them, eyes fixated on protruding veins, deep wrinkles, too-long nails. Suddenly aware of how much better they could look, Luuk awkwardly kept them in his lap. "They're clean," he insisted. "If that's what you're looking for."

[Namingtoohard]

Natalie stayed silent as Luuk set about finishing off his notes, muttering softly to himself all the while. She could have interjected at any time. Spoken up to confirm his newfound suspicions about the capabilities that her demonstration had just revealed. It would be easy enough to explain things in greater detail, to answer all his questions. Walk him through everything she knew and spoon-feed him conclusions that she herself had already drawn, years and years ago. Where was the benefit in that, though? Better to let him muddle through on his own, as her parents had let her do back when she was a kid. If the answers proved more satisfying, and his understanding more complete, then the struggle would be worth it in the long run.

She waited patiently for Luuk to comply with her request, even through the sudden bout of reluctance that seemed to come over him. She was sitting there sharing secrets that had not seen the light of day for over a decade. Ones that called into question the very nature of what most humans would consider possible. Luuk had decided that he wanted to explore these new limits, despite the risks. Yet here he was, having second thoughts when it came to something as simple as allowing her to look at his hands? Natalie couldn’t help but chuckle softly at the thought.

“I’m glad to hear it, but I’m afraid that isn’t really what I had in mind” Natalie answered, once she had managed to reign in her amusement. “It probably goes without saying, but our hands are important for our work, and I like to think that you can tell a lot about someone by looking at them. Not good or bad, mind you. I’m not here to judge. At least, not in that manner. Just…details.”

She rapped the knuckles of her outstretched hand against the tabletop gently, as if to illustrate that she were still waiting for him to give in and comply with her request.

“Our hands are the main way that we interact with the world. If the eyes hold the secrets of the soul, then your hands reveal your substance. You don’t have anything to hide, do you, Luuk?” she asked, a hint of mischief echoed in her tone as she tried to goad him. A few seconds later, another thought occurred to Natalie, and her gaze hardened a little. She scrutinised him again for a moment, eyebrows furrowed. “You aren’t one of those people who does all your work by computer, are you?” she asked, voice conspiratorial. Oh, she’d promise him a lot o time spent practicing his penmanship if that was the case. She doubted it, considering the notes she had seemed him take, but…well, better safe than sorry.

[Ashen]

Luuk wanted to go back to his notebook, to jot down what Natalie was saying about hands and their importance, but he thought it better to not write everything down. That would make anyone uncomfortable, and the last thing he needed was a teacher wary of him for being too enthusiastic about learning. He offered his hands to her, wondering what they would tell her, what secrets they held. It was like giving a palm to a fortune teller, he thought, and he wondered if Natalie were capable of such things as divination. Brushing it off as fantasy, he looked down at his hands again.

Subconsciously, he knew Natalie was joking when she asked if he had anything to hide, but Luuk still became self-conscious, defensive. "No," came his immediate response, but he paused. Did he have anything to hide? How would he know, anyway? What other secrets did his childhood hold, secrets Natalie could find out with just a glance of his fingertips? He was being paranoid, he realized, and he shook his head. "Not that I know of," he added.

But then Natalie paused, and she seemed to consider something. Luuk raised a brow at her. "Well, I guess?" he responded. "I mean, I study history, you know? I write a lot of papers online, a lot of compiling of sources, synthesizing arguments, that sort of thing. I take most of my notes by hand, and even write whole paragraphs out if I'm stuck in a place without my computer. Sometimes I'll type things out on my phone. I should show you the notes for my big family tree paper, actually... If I were to type it all up, it might even be longer than the paper itself." He spoke freely, shamelessly, knowing he was not unlike most of his peers. Looking over at Natalie, at her expression, a perplexed one crossed his features. "Is that... bad?"

Luuk wondered how all this must have looked. Was Natalie about to scold him for being on the computer too much, just like his foster mother Karen had done for so many years? His gaze dropped again. Regardless of what his hands would tell Natalie, he had to wonder. What was his substance? What made him who he was? He was just a lost boy looking for answers in all the wrong places. He didn't have substance, not really, but maybe this woman, this distant friend, the closest thing to kin he had, maybe she would find something in him.

[Namingtoohard]

A satisfied smile turned up the corners of Natalie’s mouth when Luuk finally gave in, making the decision to reply with her sudden – and clearly unexpected - request. A soft chuckle slipped from her lips at the surprisingly forceful denial that followed, but she refrained from commenting any further. Instead, the woman-turned-teacher chose to count her blessings and focus, now that she had been given the very thing that she had asked for.

With her hands positioned beneath his, Natalie began her examination. She cast her gaze over both of his hands to begin with, making note of any obvious wrinkles, callouses, or scars that were immediately visible to the naked eye. Once she was done, Natalie would release one of his hands, so that she might gently run her fingertips over the palm of the other. She hummed thoughtfully to herself for a moment, before turning Luuk’s hand over, so that she might see what sort of condition his fingernails were in. Without even realising it, she had begun to lean forward in her chair slightly as she poured over the details, much as she would suss out the history of an object for her work.

The evidence clearly corroborated Luuk’s story. These were far from the hands of a labourer, but neither were they the soft and well-maintained hands of someone who was just a little too pampered. Of course, she could have guessed as much just from what she knew of him already. That was only the beginning of her assessment, though. Did the untrimmed nails mean that he was too busy to care about them, or did he simply not care? Every little detail held several possibilities, all of them intriguing in their own way.

Natalie offered up a quick thanks to Luuk, before withdrawing her own hands, signalling that her examination was over. She folded them on the desk in front of her, seemingly satisfied, as her mind returned to the topic on hand, following on with the information that Luuk had just offered her.

“That would be wonderful. I’d love to see what sort conclusions you were able to draw from the information I provided you, as limited as it was. More for personal curiosity than because it has any sort of relevance to today’s lesson, though” she answered – a not-so-subtle way of directing the conversation back to the matter at hand. “There’s nothing wrong with doing your writing electronically, per se. Its more that penmanship is very important to our work. A steady hand works wonders, and those who spend all their time typing tend to be less…practiced. Maybe we’ll get in some calligraphy practice at some point, just to be safe.”

She made no mention of the inspection she had just conducted, and any insight she might have gleamed from it. Would Luuk be willing to let it go, or would he insist on her sharing her thoughts?

[Ashen]

Natalie was studying his hands, taking note of details Luuk couldn't even guess at. He had no idea what it was for, exactly; his hands were not dirty, so what more could Natalie be looking for? Her touch tickled his palm but he remained still, not wanting to ruin the awkward level of concentration she had. Finally, when she finished, she only thanked him, adding nothing more to follow such a serious inspection. Luuk hesitated, uncomfortable. What did she think? Was she reconsidering everything? Did she think, from some whispers of his palms, that he was no longer worthy of their magic?

And just like that, the subject was changed. Luuk chewed on his lip, overthinking. He pulled his phone from his pocket and opened to his notes. Multitudes of notes scattered across the screen; Luuk had forgotten about most of them, about project rubrics and test study guides. He still had notes from college, even some from high school. "I keep meaning to go through these," he mumbled to himself. He opened his most recent, a several-pages-long note sheet on his project. "A lot of this is from before we met," he explained. "At the end is the stuff after that. Here." He scrolled down for several moments. When he finally got to the bottom, he realized how little he had here. "I got excited and went straight to writing most of it," he said, a boyish blush crossing his cheeks. He handed his phone to Natalie anyway.

He also set his notebook down so that she could look at his penmanship. It was nothing spectacular, he thought, but it was legible to him, and he recalled some substitute teacher or another at one point complimenting his penmanship. "I've never done calligraphy," he admitted. "I don't think I'd be good at it... But if you think it would help?" Luuk tried to remember learning cursive, tilting all his letters against whatever felt natural. Would it be like that? He shrugged his shoulders. "I can understand needing a steady hand, but..." He jerked his, unasked questions still tingling on his palm. "What... did you see? Was it bad? You can't just stare at someone's hands like that and not comment. I mean, I guess you could, but..."

He was tripping over his words again. Luuk straightened, sitting taller. He narrowed his eyes and looked at Natalie's hands, wondering how they differed from his. "Sorry, I guess I'm paranoid. You just... you exposed me to this new world I know nothing about, and I'm just afraid I'll be... not worthy, or something. Is that stupid?" He chuckled softly. "Yeah, I'm stupid," he said before she could even answer. "Never mind me. If you think I should work on my steadiness, then I can do that, easy."

[Namingtoohard]

Natalie waited rather patiently as her companion pulled out his phone and started going through it, presumably in search of the project notes that he had offered to let her read. An amused smile graced her features at the idle comments he made about needing to clean up, and Natalie couldn’t help but throw a glance around the rest of her apartment. It seemed that they had more in common than just the magic they shared, then. When he offered it to her, Natalie was quick to accept the phone, and promptly began to read.

Truth be told, Natale would have preferred just about any other medium over a phone. She could put her personal preferences aside momentarily for something like this, though. The woman began to read quietly, pausing only to scroll further through his notes whenever it proved necessary. Natalie would pause briefly at Luuk’s admission to glance at him, a soft chuckle slipping from her lips, before she turned her attention back to his work once more.

Natalie would forget the phone momentarily when Luuk decided to push his notebook towards her, so that she might cast an eye over his writing. She paid little enough attention to the pages’ contents, and more to the quality of his writing itself. The woman hummed thoughtfully to herself for a moment as she contemplated what she was seeing, and was rather quick about coming to a conclusion this time. She turned her attention back to Luuk good and proper, pushing the notebook back over towards him with her free hand. She kept his phone held in the other, but it rested against the wooden surface of the table idly, momentarily pushed from the forefront of her mind by the latest turn in their discussion.

“Well. I don’t need to look at your hands to know that you’re a bit nervous about this whole thing” she answered in an attempt to lighten the mood, a soft chuckle slipping from her lips. Once it had faded, her demeanour became a little more serious, and she would continue.

“Your nails aren’t particularly well cared for, which suggests to me that you’re either busy enough that you don’t normally get to worry about them, or you simply don’t care about personal hygiene. Given what I know of you so far, though, I somehow doubt it’s the latter” she started, her tone conversational. “You have your fair share of wrinkles and callouses too. Nowhere near as much as anyone who does day labour, but enough to prove that you’ve done your fair share of hard work. All information that corroborates your earlier story” she finished.

“I do think you could use some practice for your penmanship, but your skills are sufficient enough for us to begin. Either way, I should probably set you up with some basic equipment before sending you home today. Remind me if I forget. For now, though, I think we might be getting a little sidetracked. Like we’re filling up on bread and forgetting the main course” she answered. Despite her words, or perhaps to prove her point, Natalie would glance back at the phone again, presumably picking up where she had just left off a few moments earlier.

[Ashen]

When Natalie joked, Luuk opened his mouth to protest. I’m not nervous, he wanted to say, but he knew Natalie would see through his fib. Of course he was; how could anyone not be? He had been waiting for this without even realizing he’d been waiting for it. The apprentice mage had no idea how easily he could ruin all of this.

After having his hands criticized, Luuk awkwardly tried to half-hide them. He’d write a reminder later to find some hand sanitizer somewhere, some better soaps and a not-dulled nail clipper. Would he have to buy lotion? How did he even shop for that? But he was getting ahead of himself, so he dismissed the thoughts for now. At any rate, he was glad Natalie saw him for the overworked student he was, or the overachieving one he never quite meant to be but always seemed to fall into. “I’ll work on that, yeah,” he mumbled, thankful she at least didn’t think him a total slob.

Luuk returned his attention to his phone, still opened to the scattered notes about his paper he’d saved. “Oh, yeah,” he said, “I was going to bring it to you—I mean, well, I did bring it to you, yesterday, when I came here, I thought I had finished it, but then you showed me I had more to add.” Absently he wondered whether Natalie would even want him to add something so taboo. Her warnings from the previous day crept back to him. If his paper fell into the wrong hands—if the wrong person found out about his magic, what would happen to him? To Natalie? I’ll be ambiguous, he decided, knowing he wouldn’t be satisfied with not mentioning it at all.

“I don’t want to spoil any of it,” he continued. “I mean, more than the notes already spoil. I’ll let you read it for yourself when I’m formally finished. It’s due Friday, so either way, you’re not going to be waiting long.” Saying the due date aloud suddenly made things more real. How many hours had he poured into this paper, how much emotion, all for it to become just a grade, a diploma? “But,” he said, trying to refocus, “I promise you’ll get to read it.”

Something else caught his attention, however. “You said you wanted to send me with equipment?” Mentally, he was already guessing at what sorts of pencils or brushes she might have been referring to. “Is this like homework? What kinds of things did you mean?”

[Namingtoohard]

Natalie hesitated in her scrolling briefly when Luuk mentioned that his work wasn’t necessarily complete anymore. If the information she had provided him at their last meeting meant that there was more he wanted to add, and the notes he had brought her last time – and likely the ones that she was reading right now – were likely incomplete….and given what they had discussed last time, she couldn’t help but find the notion a tad alarming. She had warned him off going public with this sort of information, though. He had enough sense to avoid exposing them so soon, surely.

“If that’s the case, then I don’t think there’s much point in me going through the rest of these now. I’ve seen enough to whet my appetite, so I’ll avoid spoiling any more and just wait until Friday to see the finished project” Natalie answered. She reached out across the desk to hand Luuk his phone back, though she hesitated briefly as he reached out to accept. “Just be careful” she added simply when Luuk reached out to accept it, before withdrawing her hand. Hopefully that gentle reminder would be enough.

She pushed the thought aside as the discussion turned to that of equipment, and Natalie quickly gave Luuk a small nod of confirmation. Given the demonstrations that she had given him, she doubted much of this information would come as a surprise, but even so, she was quick to answer.

“I wouldn’t call it homework per se. More just a collection of calligraphy pens and brushes, along with some ink and paint. Stuff that you can use to practice…and to start doing your own work with, eventually, when you’re a little more experienced” she said. The woman cast a glance around the rest of her apartment, as if searching for something. “Most of my sets have seen some level of use, but I’m certain I have a few pieces around that I can afford to spare. Ones still new enough to serve. You’ll doubtless develop your own preferences in time, but until then…” she said, before giving something akin to a casual shrug.

“In any case, I think we’ve gotten a little too side-tracked. Discussion is all well and good, and these are all important issues, but everything else is irrelevant until you’ve learned how to actually do this. The basics at the very least” she answered. With a quick gesture, she tried to draw Luuk’s attention back to the table, and the things that lay on it. She quickly pushed the open pot of paint and the brush that she had just used a few moments before towards him, her mind clearly made up.

“Like I said, we’ll start with something simple. Start with the circle, just like last time we met, and I’ll walk you through the rest, one step at a time.

[Ashen]

Luuk looked back on the objects in front of him, tools long forgotten within the context of their conversation. Had he even sipped at his tea? He couldn't remember, but now he was embarrassed at how full the mug was. He didn't want to seem ungrateful, so he grabbed for it and took a long sip. He'd sidetracked the conversation long enough; he was god at that. Now it was actually time to do this, to mimic Natalie and reclaim this power he was just as excited about as he was terrified.

The various pens laid out for him were suddenly intimidating. He'd been using pens all his life, scribbling notes and doodles into too many books, but now, they seemed different. Luuk picked up a pen with a sharp edge. Was this used for calligraphy? He poked the tip of the pen with his finger, not even flinching at the sharp touch it returned. There was a danger in this tool not quite present in the others, and for some reason, he was drawn to that. He juggled the pen between his fingers. "Just a circle," he reminded himself.

His line was shaky, fine ink running too easily over cracked hands. His circle was more elliptical, stretching further towards his thumb than the rest of his fingers. He hesitated, wondering if he should retry it. Maybe it didn't even look so bad and he was paranoid. "How's that?" he prompted, motioning his hand towards her. He had pressed too hard; ink was beginning to bleed from his line to the crevices of his skin. "Is now too late to mention I have never used a pen like this?" A soft laughter filled the air for only a few moments. This was his pen, he knew; none of the other tools Natalie brought seemed adequate. If all of this was new anyway, what did it matter if he was using a new tool, too?

Luuk looked back to the spoon on the table, the spoon that had been a fork before their discussion had distracted them from Natalie's magic. The curve of the tool, the width; it was so different from the fork it had been, yet so small. She had been showing him something simple so that he could gain confidence about his own skills, but even this easy transformation seemed daunting. "Will I be turning it back into a fork?" he asked, motioning a chin to the utensil. What a cool party trick, he thought, but he then remembered Natalie's warning, the dark side of their secret, and he straightened. Balancing his pen loosely between his fingers, he looked back up at Natalie. "Now what?"

[Namingtoohard]

Natalie did her best to remain silent as Luuk went about his task, going through the early motions of the transformation that she had asked him to attempt. She didn’t remain quiet because she had nothing to say, but rather because she wanted to avoid distracting him. To avoid the risk of interrupting his focus and accidentally foiling his efforts. When her student went so far as to show him his attempts, Natalie was quick to comply, leaning forward in her seat slightly so as to get a better view.

The results were…mediocre, at best. The circle was much sloppier than Natalie normally would have liked, and had Luuk been further into his training, she likely would have demanded that he redo it. It was technically close enough to serve, though, and he was using an unfamiliar tool, so Natalie quickly decided that she could afford to be a little more understanding. Just this once, she’d give him something akin to a free pass.

“You certainly wouldn’t win any awards, but its serviceable for our purposes today” she concluded rather simply. There were several simple pointers that she could give him, but Natalie chose to held her tongue, lest they get side-tracked, or he insist on redoing it. Those could come later, once Luuk had been given his first taste.

Natalie responded to his question about their transformation with a simple nod, before she rose from her seat. She stepped around the table casually, moving to stand behind Luuk. With one hand resting on the back of his chair, she’d lean over him slightly, looking at his work from over his shoulder. In that instant, she was reminded of a high school teacher, who was silently observing a student’s answers during a test. Unlike an official teacher, however, she wasn’t prevented from giving him instruction.

“Now, imagine that the timeline of this spoon was represented by an invisible line, drawn right through the middle of the circle. The point where they connect at the top is when the object began to take shape, and the point at the bottom is the current moment in time” Natalie said. Whilst she spoke, Natalie ran a single finger across the middle of Luuk’s palm, tracing out the supposed path this invisible line was supposed to take.

“Now, to transform this spoon back into a fork, we need to change something very early on in the object’s history, so the alteration we make is going to take place right at the start of the line, near the top. Like so”

This time, Natalie traced a slightly different path across the middle of Luuk’s palm. She started right at the top again, with a small section of line that continued downwards, much as the first one had. Then she’d introduce a sharp diagonal tilt, veering the line off to the left slightly, before continuing downwards in a line that ran parallel to the first. Like the first, it would end where it met the bottom of the circle, just slightly to the left of where the first one had ended.

“Now, paint the second line on your hand. I’ll double check it, and then you’ll apply it to the spoon” Natalie finished. She’d pull her hand back, out of Luuk’s way, before straightening up again. The pseudo-teacher would be happy to demonstrate again or offer more advice should her student need it, but the next part was up to Luuk.

[Ashen]

Natalie validated his circle, though Luuk knew he'd have to acquire a steadier hand. His future circles would be perfect, he promised himself. With Natalie's approval, Luuk started to feel like maybe he could do this. She explained the circle, talking about the spoon's timeline displayed now in his palm. Luuk wondered about the logic of all this, about the studies that must have been published about this, and how interested he was in reading them. It was a shame the world had been rid of such literature that must have existed at one point. He wondered if there would ever come a time where he could write about this ability he had, if people would ever look to him to teach them about this thing he knew next to nothing about.

As Natalie spoke, Luuk was already collecting questions to ask her. Did everything have a timeline? Could he alter the history of anything he wanted with enough practice? Did this magic work on people? Just what kind of power did his people possess?

Now was not the time for philosophy, so Luuk dismissed his curiosities and refocused on what Natalie was telling him. He looked at his circle and tried to imagine an entire life being drawn with just a single line. The metal this spoon-fork had been molded from, the flame that had shaped it, the food it had touched, the shelves and drawers it had seen. Without knowing any of it, Luuk wondered how he'd be able to see into this object's history and rewrite the laws of time and memory. But he trusted Natalie, and he trusted in this gift his parents had passed down to him.

Luuk took his pen and drew new lines into his hand. He traced the shapes Natalie had made, trying his best to keep things neat and steady. When he finished, he set the pen down and watched the ink drip, blurring some of his lines. Luuk moved to fix it, to wipe away bleeding ink with his pinky, but he stopped himself. The lines were mostly intact, and the parts where they strayed remained inside the circle. Wiping them would only smear them, ruining the whole thing. As long as his mistakes didn't interfere with his actual magic, he figured exactness wasn't required quite yet.

He set the pen down and looked over his hand again. "Like that?" he asked, turning to look at her. The way she stood over him, watching his work, reminded him of a hopeful teacher. In that way, she looked like Dr. V, his beloved history professor, and he was amused at the comparison. How would Dr. V react if he saw him now, fiddling with magic, defying the history he'd spent his whole university career studying? He let the smirk fall from his lips and turned his attention back to the spoon. With his unmarked hand he grabbed it and wrapped his fingers around it. "So now I'd just... hold it like this, right?" he asked, but he soon set it down again and scolded himself for jumping ahead. "I'm sorry, what should I do next?"

[Namingtoohard]

Natalie remained patient as her new student set about following the instructions that she had set out, painting out the same invisible line that she had demonstrated just a few moments earlier. She continued to hover for the time being, watching over Luuk’s shoulder whilst he worked through the simple instructions that she had given. Watching and appraising, and trying to do so without any more serious judgement. Did Luuk currently feel as nervous as she had, once upon a time, with her own teachers observing her work in such a manner? Now there was an amusing thought/ Had they tried so hard to be impartial then? Had they found it funny in the same way Natalie currently did? She had to stop herself from chuckling, lest she distract Luuk from his work.

A small frown wrinkled Natalie’s features at the sight of the ink drips that had followed. Even if they weren’t severe enough to impact the magic itself, she couldn’t say that she approved of the messiness. It wasn’t really Luuk’s fault, but even so. Perhaps she should have chosen a different medium for them to work with. Foresight was always twenty twenty, however. Natalie simply dismissed the thought for now, deeming it a lesson learned for next time.

Natalie did chuckle a little at the questions that followed, even as Luuk picked up the spoon. Both his enthusiasm and his attempts at restraint were endearing, after a fashion. The excitement spoke well about his willingness to learn, and the apology showed some level of self-awareness. He could be quite good at this, she thought….provided he had – or developed – the self-control necessary to avoid jumping the gun whilst actually working.

“That’s more or less it. You already have a rough idea as to how this last part goes, after our last meeting. So go ahead and apply your circle whenever you are ready” Natalie answered, trying to sound casual about what remained of the whole ordeal. The teacher took that as her cue to stroll back around to her side of the table, where she retook her seat. Much like the first time, Natalie folded both of her palms on the table in front of her whilst she sat. Natalie would wait and watch whilst Luuk did his thing, applying the sigil to the spoon. There would be no surprises here. They had already proved that he was capable doing what she had asked, and Natalie’s view of his work had left her confident that it would succeed.

Once the transformation was complete, Natalie would allow Luuk a brief moment to absorb the reality of what he had just done. To express his amazement, or celebrate his success, or however else he chose to react to the magic that he had just performed. Once he was settled again, and ready to proceed, she would continue.

“ If we were working with objects larger than cutlery, and a more complicated sigil, then I’d tell you to apply it as evenly as you can, to avoid accidentally distorting any of the lines. With something as small as a fork, though, there’s not much you can do…and very little can go wrong with such a simple circle” Natalie offered once he was done. Just a small detail for him to keep in mind in future, once they progressed to more ambitious projects.

“The rest of this lesson will likely just be practicing the foundations, now. Most people seem to think it sufficient to practice until they get things right, but we don’t have the luxury of being so relaxed. We practice until we never get them wrong” Natalie added, a slightly mischievous smile flickering across her features. They’d soon find out if Luuk remained quite so enthusiastic after he had practiced the same few basic elements a few dozen times over.

[Ashen]

Natalie was trusting him. As she took her seat, Luuk stared down at his hand. It was time to prove that the first time hadn't been a fluke. Logically, he knew it couldn't have been. After all, how could he have accidentally performed magic? But a part of him, however small, still wondered if he'd be able to turn this spoon into something else. He tried pushing his thoughts aside, concentrating at the task in hand, and believing in himself and in Natalie's instruction.

And just like that, he was staring at a fork. Luuk only stared in awe at it for several moments, studying the way the tines bent the slightest bit. Those holes hadn't been there before; he had done that. He uncurled his fingers around the utensil and traced it with his free hand, feeling the spikes that made it a fork. "I did it," he breathed, and a prideful smile met his lips. It wasn't perfect, and he could have done without all the securities and doubt, but he had done it. Once again, his parents' gift had come through after all.

It took him a few minutes to calm down. He just stared at his creation, his mind at war. So much of him wanted to not believe in what he had done. It didn't make any sense; he'd been learning science since before he could remember. But so much of him wanted to continue, to barrel straight through every task Natalie gave him until he could perform magic as flawlessly as she--perhaps even better. The thought brought an amused smile to his lips. After reminding himself that he'd need to continue, he set the fork down and turned his attention back to his teacher.

"Don't worry," he assured her. "I've been in school for how long now? I'm good at practicing things longer than I need to." He picked up the fountain pen again and poked it at his palm. He started drawing small circles, one on top of the other, practicing the symmetry of them. "Do you have any stories?" he asked absently. "Back before you were as practiced as you are now. Did you ever try something that backfired?" He was trying to keep the conversation going, but he also wanted to know more about his teacher. Knowing that she might have made mistakes long ago gave him hope that he would get this right eventually.

[Namingtoohard]

Now that she was seated again, Natalie was quick to pick up a brush of her own, fully intending to get in some practice alongside Luuk for the time being. One could argue that someone of her experience and mastery didn’t really need it, but she would have disagreed. Natalie hadn’t gained her skill by passing up opportunities to improve, even in the simplest of areas, and it would get a good example for her new student. Besides, she often found that there was something therapeutic about going through the motions of her craft, even if she didn’t intend to use them. The familiar movements put her at ease, and the lack of ambiguity that accompanied such clear-cut work often helped her clear her mind. There were no differing angles or interpretations to consider. No weight to any of the decisions she made. Simply input and output. Action and result.

She dipped her brush in the ink even whilst listening to Luuk speak, and a soft chuckle slipped from her lips at his words. The student did make a very good point, now that she thought about it. Still, she liked the idea of challenging his tenacity in this way. Even if she was expecting – and hoping – to lose.

The request for a story did catch her a little off-guard, however. Natalie paused for a brief moment, brush suspended above her skin, as she considered this unexpected question. She had to cast her mind way back to the early days of her schooling to come up with the sort of thing he had asked for, and that wasn’t something she did often. For a few moments she remained silent, unable to so much as tell what one he would likely find most amusing, before eventually deciding on one. One of the less dangerous ones, at the very least.

“During my early years, there came a point where my growing confidence well outstripped the limits of my new abilities. I was sitting a park with a few of my friends for lunch, and when we started talking about my studies, I decided that I was going to try and show off for them a little” she started. Natalie sounded a little hesitant at first, but seemed to settle as she fell into the familiar rhythm of her stories. She finally begun her own practice, too, without so much as a hiccup.

“I swiped an orange out of Jason’s hand and declared that I was going to transform it into an apple for him, in front of everyone. I’m sure that I thought it would be as simple as transforming a fork into a spoon at the time, but if I had stopped and thought about it for half a second, I would have realised just how terrible of an idea such a thing was. But I was young, and foolish, and enthusiastic, and insisted on trying anyway.”

Natalie paused for a brief moment as she considered just how much technical detail to include. Would Luuk care enough to hear about it? Most likely. There was a good chance that it would distract his attention from the task at hand, however, and most of the talk would likely go over his head, accomplishing little more than spawning another wave of questions. That decided, she was quick to continue.

“For the sake of simplicity, we’ll just say that the orange didn’t approve of my half-assed attempts to transform it. I managed in some small areas, but not others, and it didn’t take kindly to the weird half-state that it found itself stuck in. So, it imploded. Not violently, mind you. But enough to shower all of us with chunks of fruit. I never did live that one down” she finished, a soft chuckle slipped from her lips as she completed her first set of sigils. A few wandering thoughts about said friends welled up inside her, but the woman did her best to shove them down, without ever letting them see the light of day. This was meant to be a funny story, not a time for reminiscing and regretting.

[Ashen]

Luuk was surprised to see his teacher picking up her tools and beginning to work on something of her own. He paused, waiting to see if she would take the fork again, or if she had something else in mind, but it seemed she was just aimlessly practicing alongside him. ...Why? Luuk tried not to stare, tried to keep his attention on his own circles. She was just practicing. As long as she had had this ability, as long as she had had to perfect her work, she still wanted to practice. A smile met his lips. He had to admire her for that. Maybe he'd never quite catch up to her, not at that rate.

He chuckled lightly at her story, imagining how he might have done the same thing to his friends in his younger years. But her anecdote also brought a sadness as he realized he never would have that naive, childish approach to this. Did he have that once, long ago? In a world where mages were less extinct, might he have toyed with his magic to his friends and parents, just as Natalie had? And now he would never get the chance. He swallowed the bitterness that rose with that thought.

Luuk looked at his hand, now covered in ink. Absently he thought back to schoolteachers warning him against writing on his hand, and he chuckled at the thought. If they could only see him now... Natalie's earlier words wove back into his thoughts. Would magic always be a taboo? Or would he find his place in this world, a place where he knew where he was, where he didn't have to hide? He glanced at Natalie, watched for a few moments as she worked. Maybe, he thought, that was right here.

He didn't know how long they stayed like that, but by the end, Luuk's left hand was all too sore, and his right was more black than pink. He grabbed for a napkin and began blotting away the excess ink. How would he ever get this ink out of his skin? Luuk glanced at his phone, looking over the numbers on the top of his screen. "I don't want to overstay my welcome," he mumbled. "I should probably be getting home. I have... so much to do, now." Plans to revise gave way to plans to continue researching this weird talent, adding to his paper, practicing his drawing--maybe even with his non-dominant hand? "Thank you," he told Natalie. "For all of this. I appreciate having somewhere to be that isn't just... my room, or the library, you know? And this is fun." He smiled warmly at her. As he put away his notes and zippered his bag, he thought to when they could next meet up. Was he planning too hastily? Maybe, he thought to himself, it would be better to plan later. Luuk stood, and he awkwardly shifted. "Thank you for inviting me," he said. "I'll keep practicing, and writing, and next time I'll bring my completed paper. Promise."

[Namingtoohard]

At some point during the later half of their practice session, Natalie found herself more or less satisfied with the number of practice circles she had painted. She put her brush down with a soft clatter, before raising her ink-stained hand up to her face. Instead of more physical practice, she settled for a closer, unobstructed inspection of the work that she had already done. The woman spent the rest of her time criticizing her own work in silence, seeking out small imperfections so that they could be noted and corrected in future attempts. There was no point in extended practice if you only ended up ingraining your mistakes further, after all…well, for someone of her skill, at the very least.

When Luuk decided that he had practiced enough for the moment, Natalie was quick to look up from her own work. His mumbled words were enough to make her glance for the nearest clock, which hung on the wall behind her. After twisting around to sneak a glance at its hands, her eyes widened in surprise. Just when had it become so late? She’d clearly lost track of time whilst they were working, and it was now much later than she had expected. She quickly turned her attention back to Luuk once more, nodding along in understanding as he excused himself, before rising from her seat.

She found herself taken aback suddenly by the unexpected compliment that followed. The surprising warmth that such words hinted at towards her and her humble home. A smile quickly blossomed on Natalie’s face at that. That was undoubtedly one of the nicest compliments she had received in recent memory. Of the genuine ones, at the very least.

“You’re always welcome back here, Luuk. Regardless of whether its for another lesson or a more casual sort of visit” Natalie answered, sounding undoubtedly pleased with the way that things had turned out. Ever the picture of old-fashioned hospitality, she’d insist on walking Luuk towards the front door and opening it for him, pausing only briefly to ask if he was certain that he hadn’t forgotten anything.

“I look forward to reading whatever you come up with” Natalie answered simply. She only just stopped herself from repeating her thoughts from earlier, about how interesting it would be to see what he made out of her idle memories. “We aren’t far along enough yet for me to assign you any sort of homework, but some more practice wouldn’t go astray. I’ll understand if you can’t find the time, though. School has to come first, hm? Now you get home safe.”

And just like that, the two of them went their separate ways. Natalie would wave her new student goodbye, before closing the door with a soft click once he had wandered down the steps and out of sight.

The next days proved a little busier than those previous. Natalie made a few more day-trips to visit the others under her care. Those who had no idea who and what she really was, or what they themselves had once been. The work was easy enough, if a little emotionally wearing. The second day after their lesson, once Natalie found herself back at home for the evening, she’d send her new student a quick message. One that would, hopefully, lead up to their next lesson, or at least visit.

'When did you say that assignment of yours was due again?'

[Ashen]

By the time Friday morning rolled around, Luuk had just about exhausted himself to collapse. School has to come first, Natalie had said, but Luuk had spent most of the last couple days working on his magic. He'd drawn so many circles on post-it notes, notepads, and his own hands that his roommate had asked him, concern in his eyes, if he'd suddenly joined a cult. It amused Luuk, who even used the idea in his paper. His parents were deeply connected to their religious affiliation, he'd written, and though he kept his details vague, he wrote a bit about this magic, more to put it into words himself than to have anyone read them.

Luuk was pulling his paper out of the printer as Natalie's message came through. He had printed two copies, one for Natalie and one for his professor, and today he was to get rid of both. Finally, the subject of all of his concentration over the past several weeks would be done with, and he could move on in his life, this new life, with magic and circles and too much ink in his palms. He hastily stapled his papers and sped towards Dr. V's office, texting Natalie a reply.

"Turning it in now! Can I come over later?"

He stopped in front of the door decorated with quotes from various men throughout history. Through the window, Luuk could see his favorite professor reading some paper. Luuk knocked and didn't wait for an answer before barging in. "I've finished," he announced, all but slamming the paper on the professor's desk.

"Ah," Dr. V replied calmly, "Good morning, Luuk." He set his paper aside and picked up Luuk's, looked over the first page. "So you found your muse after all."

Luuk nodded. "I don't know how you knew I would, but I did. Thank you for this opportunity, actually. I've learned a lot about myself and where I come from."

Dr. V flipped through the first few pages of Luuk's paper. "That was the point," he replied. His voice was even, and even though he had stacks of papers to read and grade, he was patient. "I'm glad you got something out of this. You're graduating this semester, aren't you? What do you plan on doing now?"

Luuk turned away. "Haven't really thought about it," he admitted. "I'll find something. Don't worry. I think I'm interested in... religion, nowadays. I might look into that."

"Oh?" Dr. V paused at one page, read over a few sentences. He'd found what he was looking for. "Well, I'm happy for you. It's been a pleasure to teach you over the years. I'll be in touch with you about this assignment and your overall grade soon, and I should see you at graduation."

Luuk nodded. "Thank you for putting up with all my questions," he said. "I know I've been annoying. But I've learned a lot and I appreciate you and I hope we can talk again." He glanced at his phone, hoping for a response from Natalie. "I might drop by again, but right now, I've got somewhere to be. Good luck with grading those papers, and I'll see you around." He sped off just as quickly as he'd come, eager to show his paper to the only other person who would care.

She hadn't yet responded, but Luuk, getting ahead of himself, started towards her house anyway. If she were busy or something, he would pretend to be walking around the neighborhood, visiting some other friend, going to some store. But he hoped Natalie would be available, because he was finally done, and he had her to thank for that.

As he sat on the train towards her neighborhood, it began to dawn on him that his university life was over. He, like many of his peers, should have sought a job ages ago, should have found a place to live, should have found something to do. He was exhausted and soon to be homeless and unemployed. Still, the euphoria of his new magic kept him alive. The details, he figured, would fall into place later.

The train rolled to a stop, and Luuk grabbed his bag and walked onto the platform. He looked to his phone again, hoping Natalie had responded, not knowing what exactly he'd left behind in his favorite professor's hands.

[Namingtoohard]

Not long after she had texted Luuk her question, Natalie began looking for something to do. A way to pass the time whilst she waited for his reply, as it were. Her gaze drifted around the interior of her apartment, before settling on an old vanity that was tucked away in one corner. The old wooden piece, covered in several chips and marks, had been sitting there for months. She’d brought it home intending to turn it into another one of her restoration projects, and had simply never gotten around to it – a familiar story, relevant to a great deal of what she had laying around.

She managed to move her coffee table aside, drag the vanity into its former place in the middle of the room, and start inking up her hands before her phone finally buzzed, signalling that her young apprentice had replied. Natalie glanced up from her work at the sound, and quickly located her phone where she had left it, lying on the nearby couch. The mage almost moved to reach for it, but stopped herself just in time. She glanced back and forth between her inked up hands and her phone in silence for a moment, an annoyed scowl flickering across her features, as she found herself torn. On one hand, she was eager to know what it was Luuk had to say. On the other, she hated being interrupted whilst she was working, and didn’t want to have to clean her hands up to answer it only to start all over again. After a moment of indecision, she reluctantly decided that Luuk would have to wait for a few moments, and turned her mind back to the task at hand.

Once Natalie was done mending some of the more superficial damage to the vanity, she finally reached the point where she would need to wipe her hands clean and start over in order to progress. Finally presented with the opportunity, she’d take a brief moment to finally check her phone properly, and send Luuk the reply that he was waiting for.

“Sure thing! I’ll leave the door unlocked. Just let yourself in when you get here”

Whilst she typed, Natalie would take a few steps towards the front door of her apartment, quickly throwing the latch back to make good on her promise to her apprentice. This way, she could continue her work without having to stop and potentially ruin whatever she was in the middle of just because Luuk decided to knock at an inopportune moment. That done, she would set her phone down once more and turn her attention back to the project at hand, text conversation already forgotten as her mind started formulating her next step.

By the time Luuk finally arrived, Natalie would be covered in paint once more. Both of her sleeves would be rolled back, and her hands and forearms would be covered in multiple circles of her own creation. More complex than the ones that they had studied thus far, but easily recognisable nonetheless. The mage would look up from her work at the sound of her front door opening and closing, glancing back over her shoulder as Luuk let himself in. A smile blossomed across her features at the sight, her work momentarily forgotten now that her young student had arrived.

“Luuk! Its so good of you to join me. I’d offer you something to drink, but I’m afraid it’d be a little bit of a struggle for me to make it at the moment” Natalie offered. She punctuated her words with a glance down at her own hands and a soft chuckle slipped from her lips as the words ‘occupational hazard’ sprang to mind. She quickly pushed the thought aside, however.

“So, how did it go? What did your professor say?” she asked, before hesitating for a brief moment. “Actually, I don’t suppose you would’ve gotten your results just yet, now that I think about it. Rather, how do you think it went?”

[Ashen]

No sooner had Luuk gotten off the train than did his phone go off, signaling Natalie's response. She'd be leaving the door open for him, so what was he waiting for? He made his way to her apartment and, thinking he might have been coming too quickly--she had just sent the message, after all--he did a few laps around her block before finally approaching her apartment. True to her word, she had left the door unlocked, so he let himself in and called her name so that she knew he was there. "I am free!" he followed with, and he half walked, half ran from the front door to greet her.

He was so excited about showing her his finished project that he didn't immediately notice the ink smeared all over her hands and arms. Once he did, he studied the symbols, trying to guess at exactly what she was doing to the vanity. Was he interrupting? But Luuk shook the thought; if Natalie preferred to work, he would simply observe. This was far different from the spoons and forks they had already worked on. No, this was much larger, with new textures, new patterns to memorize, new shapes to draw; he hardly knew where to direct his attention first.

Natalie was apologizing. Luuk waved her off, briefly considered offering to get her a drink, but then got distracted remembering the reason he had come. "I'm sorry I didn't bring flowers or anything," he started, "but I did not come empty-handed. I've got something for you." He set his backpack on the chair across from Natalie and rummaged through it for only a second before pulling out his paper. He offered it to her, but, remembering her hands, hesitated and set it on the table, away from her supplies. "That's the final copy, until I feel compelled enough to revisit it, though I don't see that happening any time soon. Dr. V--that's my professor--he said he was glad I got a lot out of it, and that that was what he was looking for, so I can't have done too poorly. I'm proud of it, I think. He'll probably take a few points off for going above the page limit, but that's hardly a problem in the long-run."

Luuk animatedly talked about his paper and his conversation with his professor, accentuating his words with his hands. "The grades will be in soon!" he added, "so I should find out for sure in a few days." He motioned towards it. "You helped so much with this. If not for you, I don't think I'd be graduating this weekend. Speaking of, you haven't met my mum. Er," Luuk looked away awkwardly. "My foster mother. Karen. She's probably going to want to attend, but once that's over, maybe we could get dinner together. I'm sure she'd love to meet the woman who saved my grades." Luuk made a mental note to tell his mother about Natalie at all. The graduation, he knew, was more for Karen's benefit than his. He didn't care much for the formalities, but he was her success story, the one that didn't go wrong, and he knew it meant a lot to her. Besides, as things were, he'd likely have to move back in with her starting that weekend, too.

Luuk shook his thoughts. "But that's a lot of me ranting. What are you working on?" He approached the vanity, tried to pick out the changes she'd already made. "I've been practicing my circles a lot since last time. I'm probably about ready to learn some more."

[Namingtoohard]

Feeling more than a little amused by Luuk’s declarations of freedom, Natalie couldn’t help but smile. Even before he had given himself the chance to start speaking about specifics, that alone seemed like a good sign. The student probably wouldn’t be feeling so much like celebrating if he had any doubts about whether his paper would get him over the line or not, after all. It wasn’t long before Luuk produced the extra copy of said paper that he had promised her, and Natalie felt her curiosity piqued. Just what had he managed to take away from her words, and how had he twisted them to be something he could share with confidence? Natalie couldn’t wait to find out.

She reached for the paper when it was offered to her – partially out of reflex, and partially out of eagerness. Thankfully, Luuk was quick to realise that such wasn’t probably a good idea just yet, and his hesitation quickly reminded Natalie that she was still covered in ink, saving them both from potential disaster. She quickly dropped her hand, and instead eyed the essay where the student – her student – eventually set it down. As eager as she was, there’d be time for it later, so the mage quickly turned her attention back to Luuk good and proper. There was something endearing about his excitement over the topic, though she did find herself caught a little off-guard at the mention of his foster mother, and the graduation ceremony.

“You know, it had totally slipped my mind that there was still an actual ceremony for you to attend. Too caught up in everything else going on, I suppose” Natalie answered, sounding vaguely amused by her own forgetfulness. She brought a hand up to scratch at her chin idly for a moment as she pondered the thought, before catching herself. She paused her hand away and glanced down at her fingertips, her lips curving downwards as she caught sight of the black smudges there. All too aware that she likely now had a matching black streak on her face, she pushed onwards regardless.

“In any case, dinner sounds like it could be fun. I’m not sure how well meeting your foster mother might go, but its been too long since I’ve gotten out of the apartment.” Natalie briefly wondered if dinner afterwards meant that she’d also be expected to attend the ceremony itself, but promptly pushed the thought aside. The details could come later, once Luuk had actually gotten his results. Instead, it was time they focused on the lesson at hand – or her own work which could conveniently become a lesson, now that Luuk had asked.

“I told you that I most of my income comes from restoration projects, yeah? I bought this thing for next to nothing because of all the damage. So I’m going to repair it as practice, and sell it for a profit.” Whilst she spoke, Natalie stepped up alongside the vanity. She picked out one of the marks she had identified earlier – this one a dent in the wood from when someone had dropped something – before glancing at her arms. After selecting one of the appropriate markings, located on the outside of her left forearm, she applied it to the area around the dent, careful not to touch any of the others to its surface. Job done, she’d take a small step back and watch as the same black streaking effect they usually witnessed seemed to ‘fill in’ the damage that had been done, leaving the surface pristine once it faded.

“Technically speaking, I could do the entire thing with a single sigil, if I felt so inclined. But in reality, such a complex circle would take more effort than most of these smaller ones. So I’m cheating a little and taking care of the easier tasks now, to make the next step simpler. Work smarter, not harder, right?” she answered, throwing a sideways glance and a wink in Luuk’s direction.

“I’d love to go over your paper right now, but there’s no point in making you wait while I plod my way through it, so we’ll get you working on something first, since you’re so eager. Help yourselves to those paints and brushes, and I’ll have you copy out a few of the sigils I’m currently using. We’ll talk a little bit about what some of the markings mean and how you decide when to use them, and then you can get practice by fixing up my vanity whilst I start reading. Sound good?”

[Ashen]

This means of magic was different from what he had watched before. He considered for a moment making a career out of his magic like Natalie had--wouldn't that solve his current issue of finishing school without a job lined up?--but looking over Natalie's arm of tattoo-like symbols, he doubted he would be able to perform anything near what she could any time soon. She was a master at work, studying her piece and deciding which mark would be best for her vision. How had she chosen which circles to ink into her skin? Was that something that came with experience? As the questions piled up, Luuk kept his mouth shut, unwilling to interrupt her concentration.

He nodded in response to her question, and as he prepared to study her, he pulled up a chair and dug for a notebook. Luuk tried replicating some of her circles in his notebook, planning to ask Natalie what each of them meant later. He was sure he could write an entire novel on the different types of sigils in this magic, if one hadn't existed already. "So they work like a language," he filled in, mumbling only half to himself. "Building blocks for bigger pieces, like words into sentences..." As he spoke he scribbled a few notes for later. His book was quickly filling with unintelligible gibberish to any who might have stumbled upon them... He chuckled at the thought. How was that different from any other of his notebooks?

As Natalie explained her circles, Luuk took hasty notes, and eventually realized they were causing him to pay less attention to her. He put his book away and tried to remember the marks she made and her explanations for them. "There are so many," he muttered, sweeping his gaze over her arm again. It was daunting, attempting to learn them, but the impossibility of it made him want to try harder. He tried his best to memorize them, even repeating after her when she pointed to a specific circle or two. Finally, after she had explained most of the marks to him, she moved aside to let him work.

Luuk shifted awkwardly, unsure whether he was ready to work alone yet. He picked up the paintbrush she'd used and began drawing circles into his own arm, trying to mimic the ones on hers. "So we'd want to use this kind of circle..." he said, carefully following the lines in one of hers. "This would be to fix this dent, right?" He then pointed to one of the marks on the vanity, forgetting that his hand was inked. A bubble of ink fell onto the furniture. He wiped at it with his clean pinky, only barely making it better. "I can fix that later, right? Um, where were we?" The flustered student, he cursed himself for appearing so clumsy. He was better than this, he knew. Was it that he wasn't meant to be a mage after all? Luuk shook his head. "No, the circle should be like this," he said, drawing some lines clashing with the circumference, making a near replica of Natalie's circle now. "And then I'd just press it." He sounded more confident now, but his last remark was still a question, and he glanced at Natalie to make sure he wasn't messing up anything else.

[Namingtoohard]

Had she not known Luuk quite as well, she might have been surprised by his insistence on taking notes. She had intended for this to be more of a theoretical, back-and-forth discussion than a speech to be copied down and revised. Even so, she was hardly going to deter such an eager and experienced student from learning in whatever manner he knew was most effective for himself. She’d pass on the opportunity to take a seat herself, confident that her lesson would prove most effective when she could freely reference the circles she had already drawn onto her arms, and launched into her speech, in which she’d try and summarise the building blocks of what she was doing.

She began with some basic information on how the decision process worked. A brief reminder of how their magic worked by altering the history of an object to enact a physical change, followed by a slightly more in-depth explanation as to how you had to understand – or at least make an educated guess – into the history of the thing you were modifying. How if you misjudged things and the distinctions you specified didn’t really apply, then your spell would fail to hold, and the mage would accomplish nothing more than successfully wasting their own time.

The next stage was slightly more complicated. Talk of how the different markings were used to specify different changes, using the work she had already done. Natalie gesture to one of her arms with her other hand, pointing out the individual symbols she was using to repair dents, scratches, and watermarks, and the features that made them distinct. Whilst she didn’t say so outright, it quickly became clear that the number of different possibilities was obscene, and the various ways they could be combined would be near-infinite.

Natalie started to wind things down when she felt Luuk had begun to grasp the core principles of what she was trying to explain, not wanting to overload him with too much information too soon. She’d settle down alongside her student as he moved on to copying out the circles onto his own arm, holding one of hers out to act as a guide, whist casting a critical eye over his work. The stain he left behind drew a small smile out of the woman – or rather, his hurried apology did – but it wasn’t long before Luuk had crafted circles identical enough to hers that Natalie judged them safe to use.

“That;s pretty much it.” Natalie straightened up then, withdrawing her arm now that their word was done. A brief wince would flicker across her lower back as it protested, but the grimace disappeared as quickly as it came. Satisfied, she’d take a few steps back towards the lounge, from atop which she’d grab an old rag, and begin cleaning off her own arms. Whilst she did her best to rub the stubborn ink away, she’d offer Luuk a few finishing words. A reminder, and some encouragement.

“I know all of this might seem a little daunting at first, but you have plenty of time to wrap your head around it all. This isn’t like some fantasy novel, where some people are born with magic more powerful than others. The only things that matter here are speed, precision, and creativity. All of which will come with practice” Natalie finished. She’d toss the dirty rag aside when she was done, before moving to claim Luuk’s paper. Now that they were finished covering what she had wanted to explain today, the mage was fully intent on making good on her earlier promise, letting Luuk practice by doing her work for her, whilst she settled down to read her paper.

“Truth be told, you probably don’t even need to remember all of them individually. Thinking about it now, I could probably improvise-“

Natalie cut herself off mid-sentence when the door to her apartment swung inwards suddenly. The movement drew her attention, and she glanced towards the front door just in time to watch a man dressed in a pair of boots, black cargo paints, a white shirt, and an unzipped jacket stepped over the threshold. The man had a rugged face, exaggerated by his stern expression. Natalie was quick to frown at the unexpected arrival, in no small part because of what Luuk was currently doing. She had left it unlocked so Luuk could let himself in, but hadn’t she asked him to lock it behind him? Natalie suddenly wasn’t certain. Even so, she was quick to speak up.

“I’m sorry, can I help you?” she asked lowering Luuk’s paper and taking a small step forward. If the stranger had heard her, he didn’t show it. The man’s gaze swept around the room briefly, before he kicked the door closed behind himself. Natalie opened her mouth to speak again, but any words died on her tongue as the man reached into his jacket and withdrew a sleek Beretta M9 pistol with attached silencer. The mage remained frozen as the man levelled it at her, her attention fixated on the metallic barrel as the moment stretched on.

She could see him tense as he prepared to fire. Could imagine his finger pulling back the trigger. But there, his gaze flickered towards Luuk briefly. A touch of uncertainty, perhaps?

During that brief hesitation, Natalie’s mind quickly supplied several possible ideas.. She’d planned for similar eventualities when planning to take on a student. They were all useless now, though, whilst she didn’t have any ink or paint to work with. She could be fast – two or three strokes would be enough – but not fast enough to stop him from simply pulling the trigger as soon as she began to move. If she could distract him somehow, or take advantage of his hesitation, then maybe she and Luuk could both get out of this alive. But how?

[Ashen]

Luuk concentrated hard on what he was doing. Natalie's words flowed through his mind, guiding him, reminding him of all the things he needed to do to make this work. She made him chuckle when she said this wasn't like a fantasy novel. Wasn't it? Wasn't all of this magic its own kind of fantasy? He cleared his thoughts, resuming the work on his hand to perfect his artwork--or, as close as he could get to perfect, inexperienced as he was.

He only saw Natalie grab his paper out of the corner of his eye. His mind was elsewhere now, and though he wanted Natalie to like his paper, he wanted her to like his magic even more. This was more important, this art he hadn't known, and he wanted to impress her with results, not words. He nodded along with what she was saying, and he tried to set his symbol into the vanity when a sound caused Natalie's words to fall. Luuk stopped and straightened. Had Natalie been expecting company? Had he been interrupting? He turned away from the vanity and cast a gaze over the man now in Natalie's home. From the looks of things, he was no friend. He looked to the owner of the home, hiding his arm, keeping silent, letting her deal with whatever all this was.

But Natalie didn't seem to know this man at all. Luuk kept a wary eye trained on him, all the while wondering what he was here for. Wasn't he only here because Luuk hadn't locked the door behind him? But why would someone just randomly walk into a house that wasn't theirs...? Luuk's thoughts stopped as the man pulled something from his pocket, and suddenly Luuk's face went white. That was a gun.

Just what was going on? Luuk grew still, confused. Did this man know Natalie? Whatever she'd done, it certainly wasn't worth barging into her home ready to--he wouldn't. But why else would someone bring a gun, and at that, one whose call would not even alert the neighbors? But Luuk noticed the hesitation. This man knew Luuk wasn't supposed to be here. He only wanted Natalie. Where did that put him?

He had to do something. Luuk stood slowly, trying not to cause the gunman to make rash decisions. What could he use...? He thought of his arm, of the many circles on it. Changing this vanity into a more polished version of itself was hardly the type of thing that would intimidate someone like this, probably. Did he know anything about their magic? Would it scare him off? But then, shouldn't he leave things to Natalie, who was far less likely to get them killed?

Luuk knew he had to stop thinking. Moments were ticking by and he had to do something. "I don't think you belong here," he announced. His voice wavered; did the gunman notice? What was he even doing? "I think you should leave. Do you need me to show you the door?" He approached cautiously, trying to place himself between this intruder and Natalie. If he could buy her some time, he trusted her to be able to do something. Luuk motioned to the door with his left arm, one free of the symbols etched into the other, wondering if it would make a difference. He didn't understand any of this; if he did, maybe he wouldn't feel so powerless. Was this man here about magic? What sorts of enemies did Natalie have, anyway?

He took another couple steps, now directly blocking Natalie. Was he about to take a bullet for her? Surely this man wouldn't kill him too? He tried not to think about it, not to look at the dark barrel aimed now at him. "I don't know what business you have with her, but I've got friends expecting me soon. If they don't hear from me they'll send the cops here in a heartbeat." It was a lie; Luuk didn't know if anyone would care enough about him to check up on him. But did it matter? If this man thought he might get caught, would he lower his weapon and leave? What other choices did Luuk have? "Maybe you should think twice," he said, forcing his gaze to the man's eyes. His hands were shaking. Wouldn't this man see that? Wouldn't he see the ink, these markings, all across his arm? Luuk swallowed the lump in his throat, praying Natalie would be able to do something with this pathetic diversion.

[Namingtoohard]

Whilst his attempts at talking the stranger with the gun down weren’t quite the distraction that she had been hoping for, Natalie couldn’t help but feel heartened by the fact that Luuk hadn’t frozen. She doubted that he were truly trying to talk the man down, given the circumstances. It seemed far more likely that he had come to the same conclusion as Natalie herself, and was trying to provide her with the opportunity to make a move that would allow them to escape relatively unscathed. Hopefully she wouldn’t let him down.

That said, she couldn’t help but feel a little torn when her student willingly stepped in front of her, placing himself directly in the path of the gun’s barrel. On one hand, Natalie couldn’t help but admire that Luuk was willing to place himself in harm’s way to try and protect her, even if her assessment was correct, and it was only to serve as a distraction. On the other, she was older than him, and the teacher here besides. It was her responsibility to look after him, not the other way around, and Luuk intentionally placing himself in harm’s way made her sick to her stomach with both worry and guilt. Natalie tried to fight the feeling down, but it looked to be a losing battle. All the more reason that she act, as quickly as she judged safe, and take advantage of the opportunity that he was trying to provide her with.

Now that the gunman’s view of her was at least partially obscured, and his attention was seemingly focused on Luuk, Natalie risked a small, shuffling step backwards. She held her breath, waiting for him to yell out for her to stop, or for the gun in his hand to spit hot death, and was relieved when nothing happened. Had he actually not noticed, or did he think she was merely afraid? Natalie didn’t know, but either way, she intended to take advantage of his oversight. She chanced a second small step, and then another, and another, slowly shuffling backwards until she was backed right up against the coffee table. With her gaze still fixated on the stranger and her hands hidden behind her back, she ran her fingers across its surface blindly, searching for a pen or a brush or anything else that she could use.

After a few seconds of blind probing, her hands closed around a discarded marker – originally just another forgotten part of her home’s ungodly clutter, but now, a precious tool that very well might just save their lives.

With her hands still hidden behind her back, Natalie set about the task of drawing the sigil she wanted on the inside of her palm. Working blind was dangerous, but with a gun pointed at them, it suddenly seemed the smaller risk to take. Natalie felt that she had little choice but to trust her own ability, her own experience, and hope that her hands weren’t shaking badly enough to ruin her plans. Thankfully, the sigil that she planned on using now was simple enough. Hopefully so much so that she wouldn’t screw it up now, at such a crucial moment.

Once she was done, Natalie would crouch down as slowly as she could manage, before pressing her palm into the floorboards underfoot. Like always, the ink on her palm seemed to bleed into its surface, darkening a small area around it. Nothing seemed to happen at first, each second dragging on for what felt like an eternity as she waited to see if her efforts would bear fruit. The cold hand of doubt reached into Natalie’s chest, grabbed her heart, and squeezed as the moment dragged on. The silence was broken only by the harsh words of the gunman, who had finally noticed – or simply had enough of – Natalie’s strange behaviour.

“Hey, you! What do you think you’re-“

His words were cut short as a tremor seemed to run through the entire room, accompanied by a loud crack, causing all of its occupants to stumble. Natalie would straighten up, a satisfied grin on her face. Her aggressor, by comparison, seemed a touch uncertain now. He’d glance around the room briefly, before brandishing his weapon at Natalie anew.

“What did you do?”

Whilst Natalie didn’t have the time to respond, the answer to the stranger’s question would become clear enough. Almost as soon as the man had finished speaking, the very ground that they were standing on gave way. The floor itself collapsed inwards suddenly, dumping all three residents into the apartment below in a shower of wooden splinters, plaster, dust, and pieces of Natalie’s furniture.

Natalie landed hard on the floor below. Having been the only one prepared for what had just happened, however, she was the first to recover. She had been lucky and avoided landing on anything, and despite the pain, it seemed that everything still worked. She staggered to her feet and started stumbling towards where the gunman had fallen, coughing and spluttering all the while. Natalie threw herself at the man as soon as she was close enough, falling atop him and grabbing at his wrists.

It quickly became clear that the gunman was physically stronger than her, but he was both hurt and dazed, and Natalie had the element of surprise on her side. She’d manage to knock his gun away, sending it sliding across the floor and out of immediate reach. Even then, she’d continue to struggle against the man, seemingly determined to subdue or incapacitate him completely.

[Ashen]

Luuk was certain the other occupants of the room would hear his heart drumming against his chest. He could only pray he looked more composed than he felt as he stared down the man who would take his life. No, he couldn't think like that--but how could he not? With the gun trained on him, with lifeless eyes boring into his soul, what chance did he have of making out of this alive?

But behind him, he heard the cautious footsteps of the real target. Natalie had some kind of plan. If he could just keep this distraction up a little longer, would they be able to get out of this mess? He forced his gaze back to the gunman's face, trying to keep his own expression neutral. When he noticed the gunman's eyes going for Natalie, Luuk made some movement, some sudden flick of the hand, a sharp step; anything to bring the attention back to him. He didn't even know if it was worth the effort. Was Natalie really planning on saving them, or was she just trying to get away? She wouldn't leave him here alone, Luuk believed in that. But whatever she was planning, he just hoped she'd execute it soon. He would not be able to keep his composure for long.

But finally, the man pulled his attention away from the terrified student. Luuk dared to glance back, to see if Natalie had figured out something. Before he could guess at what she'd done, the floor started to shake. An earthquake, here? Coincidence could not have granted such a blessing; this must have been Natalie's doing. What she'd done had only aggravated their assailant, however. Was Natalie trying to get him mad enough to fire? But then the earthquake grew stronger, and Luuk felt himself falling. The earth was swallowing them whole, and as they fell, he could only hope Natalie would be safe during this.

He hit the ground, hard, and winced at the pain that rose from a new wound in his back. He'd landed on something sharp, and it didn't take long for the thick liquid to pour towards his waist. Dazed, he frantically looked around for Natalie, for the gunman. His own coughing fit drowned out hers, but he still saw her make her way towards the stranger. Luuk struggled to stand; was shaky on his feet. He tried to swallow the pain. Natalie needed him.

The gun, at least, was no longer in enemy hands. Natalie was holding him off, but from the looks of things, she wouldn't be able to for long. Luuk stumbled towards the two, but his eye caught on the jet black thing half-buried by the vanity they had been working on. Panicked, Luuk grabbed the weapon. He held it awkwardly, afraid of the power now in his hands. He pointed it at the gunman, but his hands trembled. Would he be able to...? Did he even know how to work this thing? What if he hit Natalie by mistake? Swallowing, he lowered the gun, and he approached the two, knowing his inaction would likely lead to death.

So rather than firing, Luuk did the next best thing. He swung the gun, smacking the man across the nose, twice, thrice. Luuk didn't know where the violence in him came from, nor the strength, but by the time he was finished the man had stopped fighting Natalie, and speckles of his blood were on the weapon. Luuk stood there, petrified. Had he just beaten a man? Was he dead? It was unlikely, but the possibility shook him. His grasp on the gun tightened, and he looked to Natalie. "We... should go," he suggested, quiet, as if afraid of his own voice. He looked to the gun, too dangerous, too red. He couldn't leave it here, not when the man could pursue them. So he clutched it tightly, and on his stumbling legs, he silently left behind what he'd done.

[Namingtoohard]

Even though she had disarmed him already, Natalie continued to grapple with their assailant. She groaned softly as the two of them struggled against each other, determined to win out before he could get his bearings. Natalie didn’t know who he was, nor could she be certain why the man had decided to come after them, but none of that mattered right now. It didn’t matter how much pain she was in after that fall, or what she had been forced to do to her apartment. She wouldn’t stop, couldn’t stop, until she was certain that both she and Luuk were safe again. In the short term, at the very least.

For all her good intentions, however, it quickly became clear that Natalie was fighting a losing battle. She hadn’t been quick enough, or strong enough, or had seriously underestimated the man. Regardless of the reason, he was quickly beginning to overpower her. Within seconds, the man had gotten a hold of one of Natalie’s wrists, even whilst his other hand pushed at her face. She had a few seconds at best until he managed to throw her free, after which he would inevitably move to reclaim his fallen weapon.

And then Luuk was there. Her student had apparently managed to retrieve fallen gun without Natalie realising, engrossed in their little struggle as she had been. The first she knew of his presence was when she watched him smash his new weapon across the man’s face. Her attacker’s nose broke under the impact, and Natalie felt a few specks of blood splatter her face and forearms. The man went limp beneath her – either unconscious or dead, though the former seemed much more likely. Inwardly thankful for his timely intervention, Natalie sat back on her haunches, and let out a shaky breath. It took her a few seconds longer to unclench her fists, after which she’d finally turn her attention to Luuk good and proper. She responded to his words with a simple nod of agreement.

“Right. We…we should get out of here, before anyone realises what has happened. We’ll go to my car. See if we can find somewhere safe to hole up” Natalie answered, once she trusted herself to speak. She tried to calm herself. To sound calm and steady, even if she didn’t feel it. Her voice sounded weak and steady even to her own ears, however.

She climbed to her feet, and was pleasantly surprised when they didn’t immediately buckle underneath her. Natalie made for the front door, and had almost reached it when a sudden thought made her pause. She glanced back over her shoulder and surveyed the wreckage for a moment, her lips pursed into a thoughtful frown. Her eyes would pick out a familiar-looking cabinet, now bent and broken. Temporarily abandoning her ideas of a speedy escape, she began to walk towards it, carefully picking her way through the ruins of what had once been the ceiling…or the foor, she supposed, depending on your perspective.

She knelt down once she reached the cabinet, and spent a few brief moments sifting through the wreckage. It took her a few seconds of purposeful digging, but Natalie would eventually find what she had been looking for – a small wooden box. One that had been sitting on the shelves in her apartment, until just a few moments earlier. Relief flooded through Natalie, and she clasped it to her chest for a brief moment. A quick glance was all she needed to tell that it was very much worse for wear. The lid no longer sat properly, one of the hinges was twisted and bent, and its wooden surface was now marred heavily with scratches and chips. The main structure seemed to be intact, however. She simply had to hope the contents were too...and hopefully in slightly better condition. When she straightened up again, box clasped in her arms, she felt a little more stable.

"Alright. Let's go."

Leading the way, Natalie would slip out the front door. She’d make certain to close it behind her, before leading her young charge down the steps and out onto the street. The mage remained silent throughout, mind swirling as she tried to come to terms with what had just happened, and make sense of why. It was only when they had reached the pavement and found her car that Natalie patted down her pockets with a free hand, and realised her mistake.

“Ah, fuck. I didn’t have any of my stuff with me when he came in, and I didn’t think to grab it on the way out. My keys, my phone, my purse…”

Her gaze would drift up to the complex that towered above him, her expression pinched. Was it worth going back for them, or were they better off just taking the subway? Covered in blood and dishevelled as they were, the two of them were bound to attract attention, but it didn’t have to be for long. She was yet to decide where they might go, but right now Natalie was content to deal with one problem at a time. She was also yet to realise that some of the blood covering Luuk was his own, given how messy and disorganized things currently were, though it was only a matter of time.

[Ashen]

Thought had abandoned him. Luuk could feel his legs moving him out of the wreckage, away from this place that had once looked like a home, back onto the streets, but his mind was stuck elsewhere, in front of that man, swinging a weapon he never thought he'd see with his own eyes. That couldn't have been him, beating that man--right? But who else would it have been? His grip around the gun tightened. Held up to his chest like this, he was hardly concealing this new weapon. Someone was bound to call the police on him like that, especially with the blood on his face, dripping down his back. They would take him away, strip the freedom he had just earned--and wasn't that what he deserved, now?

But when Natalie spoke again--had he even heard her the first time?--he blinked the world into focus again. She had forgotten her things inside her apartment...? Luuk cast a glance towards the front door, face paling. He couldn't go back there. He couldn't let her go back there. She could return when the coast was clear, maybe, if it was ever clear. Right now, Luuk knew he had to get the hell away.

He grabbed Natalie's hand, still clutching the gun with his other. He couldn't find the right words, couldn't find any words, so instead he would lead her. He started for the train station, but after only a couple minutes of walking he stopped. Wouldn't the other passengers be wary? Wouldn't someone stop them, try to find out what was wrong? And what was he doing still holding this? Luuk fumbled with the gun, awkwardly shoving it into the waistline of his pants, at least mostly concealed. He didn't know how bloodied his back was. He shook his head. Walking would take too long; they had no other choice.

Luuk couldn't remember the walk from Natalie's apartment to the train station being so long. His pace quickened, though his pain advised against it. If Natalie spoke at all, he certainly wasn't in the headspace to hear her. He silently led her to the train station, bought the tickets for the train back to his dorm, and paced while he waited. They were safe, but Luuk was still processing it all. Everything had happened so fast. Was this his fault? If he had never met Natalie, would they be in this situation? Why couldn't he have been okay with not knowing anything about his parents? About this magic? About people trying to kill him? But now, no matter what, he knew he couldn't forget any of it.

If anyone had noticed the two of them on the train, Luuk certainly hadn't paid them any mind. The gun sat awkwardly against his stomach while he sat, reminding him of its presence. When the train pulled up to his stop. He was quick to get up and start away from the public eye. He could only assume Natalie was following him as he led her through campus and to his dorm. It was only when he was inside his room, door firmly locked behind him, that his reality finally caught up with him.

He was back at his dorm with Natalie. Without warning, he'd brought a woman back to his shared living space, after they'd nearly gotten killed. She had nothing, no phone or wallet, and he had taken her away from her home. Luuk turned to her sharply, disbelief caught in his throat. "My god," he murmured, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-- Did we...? Are you okay?" Finally a coherent question. Before she could answer, Luuk lifted his shirt and pulled the gun from his pants. "What--?" he started, struggling to find the words. He looked back to Natalie. Taking a moment to catch his breath, finally, he asked, "What was​ that?"

[Namingtoohard]

It was only during their short walk to the train station that the adrenaline began to bleed away, and the reality of everything that had just happened finally began to sink in, leaving Natalie feeling empty and lifeless. Her gaze was distant and hollow as Luuk went through the routine motions of buying the tickets, and getting them onto the correct train. Some small part of Natalie’s mind whispered that she should be the one doing all these things. That it was her responsibility, as Luuk’s mentor, to be the one who looked after him. And yet, she found herself unable to focus, as memories from days long past rose from the corners of her mind, both unbidden and unwelcome.

She remembered having to do this once before. Running away. Being forced to leave behind everything she owned, and everything she loved, for the sake of survival. She remembered hearing fresh news of dead friends and family. She remembered the way they had looked afterwards, those that she had managed to see in person. She remembered creeping away in the dead of the night to try and argue for her life, fighting an uphill battle against people’s ingrained and well-demonstrated prejudices. And she remembered watching any sort of recognition fading from the eyes of those she had cared for, time and time again, and she performed both her greatest and most terrible of works.

Natalie had known this outcome was a possibility, when she had decided to reveal the truth to Luuk. She had thought that she was stronger now, or that she had less to lose. That if she failed, then it wasn’t worth her being here anyway. So why was she struggling so much now, after the fact? Even worse, how was Luuk going to cope with this situation, that threatened to destroy the life he had spent years building for himself? Would he resent her for dragging him into all of this after all? If something happened to him…but no. Nothing would happen to him. She’d make sure of it.

Something vaguely resembling cognisant thought returned when the two of them approached Natalie’s dorm. She finally seemed to stir a little, drawn out of her stupor as she took in the unfamiliar sights, and realised where they were going. At long last, she finally focused her attention on the things that actually mattered, and began turning over the pieces of their current predicament in her mind. When the two of them were finally ensconced within Luuk’s dormitory room, Natalie quickly helped her to a seat on the bed, hugging her small wooden box to her stomach. She didn’t trust her legs to support her at the moment. When she spoke, her voice felt equally shaky, though there was no avoiding the use of that one.

“I suspect,” she started, before immediately cursing the quiet uncertainty in her own tone. “That one of the people who wanted our kind dead all those years ago found out what I was doing, in trying to train a new apprentice. Though I have no idea who, or how. A random stranger just so happens to walk into the apartment of the only two mages left in the country, and pulls a gun on them without saying a word? No questions asked about money? Call me a sceptic, but I doubt it’s a coincidence.”

“The real question is what we’re going to do about it. But perhaps I’m getting a little bit ahead of myself” Natalie added after a brief pause, a wan smile flickering across her features. She finally turned her attention away from Luuk to observe the rest of the room, as if she were only just seeing it for the first time now. “In any case, I think I’d rather avoid staying here for any longer than necessary. If someone out there really does know what we’ve been doing, then I don’t imagine it will take them long to find us here. As soon as they realise their initial plan failed, they might try and come after us again.”

How would such words sound to Luuk’s ears? Would just lofty conclusions be seen as mere delusions and paranoia, or would everything he had just witnessed be enough to lend credence to her musings? Natalie had no idea. Truth be told, Natalie would have loved nothing more than to be mistaken. But until they knew for sure…well, it seemed better to prepare for the worst, considering the stakes.

[Ashen]

As Luuk stood in the middle of his room, panting, the events of the past couple hours replayed in his mind. He had gone to Natalie to deliver his paper, to work on his magic, all things that now meant so little. As the adrenaline drained, pain blossomed across his back. He pulled his shirt over his head and turned it over. A red stain now bloomed across a quarter of the shirt. Luuk winced when he saw it, then tossed it aside, not wanting to deal with it yet. He tried to feel the wound, and his fingers came away bloodied, though not too severe. It would easily heal on its own, but he barely had the mind to clean it now.

He kicked the chair from beneath his desk and collapsed into it. He listened intently to Natalie's explanation, though his gaze was elsewhere, suddenly scrutinizing the state of his room. If he’d been expecting company, he might have cleaned up a bit, called Frankie—ah. If his roommate were to come in on this now… He’d cross that bridge when he got to it, if he got to it. It didn’t cross his mind that Natalie might have been paranoid about any of this; as she spoke, Luuk knew their lives were in danger.

“Then we should leave.” His words were logical, but he wondered how possible this suggestion was. His life up to this point had been relatively normal, and he had been scheduled to graduate in mere days, to go out into the world an educated man, find a good job that he’d love… And now what? Was he supposed to give up on such a life just because this secret had been exposed? To whom? Who would seek to destroy them like this? Luuk looked to the gun, taunting. Whatever it took, he couldn’t go back to who he was a few hours ago.

He shifted awkwardly. “Where do we go?” He scanned the room again, this time wondering how quickly he could pack the essentials. If he disappeared now, he’d miss his own graduation, but everything he’d worked for, all that he was, was within him. He didn’t need a graduation, or the paper they would likely mail to his foster mother. He was lucky, then, that he hadn’t found work yet; less to leave behind. Luuk got up again and started pacing, reaching for things he could bring with him: a laptop, a gaming console, some books, framed photos. He stopped himself to turn back to Natalie. “And what… do we do?” he added quietly. “We can’t just run from them forever, right? Sooner or later we’ll have to figure out what all this is about, and do something about it. They can’t just make us leave like this.” Though he spoke boldly, he was ready to keep leaving, as long as he didn’t have to face another situation where his life was on the line.

He sat down again, overwhelmed. Was it even safe to plan while they were so panicked? Was it safer than waiting, perhaps until someone caught up to them? His eyes gravitated towards the gun. “You should take it,” he mumbled, though he made no motion to pass it to her. “I don’t think I can hold it anymore.” He blinked hard, willing himself to look at anything else. “I think we should calm down, first,” he said shakily. Could he even calm down, now? “I don’t know if I can think of a plan. Unless you’ve got an idea?”

[Namingtoohard]

Luuk was unsettled. That much seemed obvious, given the tone of his voice, and the nervous restlessness that seemed to have taken him over. The way he kept standing and sitting, the way he paced back and forth, all seemed like solid enough evidence of that. And who could blame him, after what they had just experienced? Natalie wasn’t feeling particularly calm herself at the moment, and she had the benefits of prior experience to draw upon. Even so, Luuk’s mentor tried to steel herself, or at least steady her tone. Even if she wasn’t feeling particularly confident at the moment, she would just have to try and fake it. If that would help Luuk relax, then maybe they’d both have the chance to settle down and think.

Her gaze drifted over towards the gun when Luuk mentioned it. Natalie set her precious little box aside and rose, taking a few steps over to where Luuk had left the gun. She glanced down at it briefly, but made no move to touch it herself. She wasn’t feeling up to that. Not just yet, at the very least. Instead, she placed both of her hands on the desk and gazed out the window in silence for a moment, as if casting her attention over the greater campus. In reality, she was just trying to buy herself time to steady herself. To think about what she could possibly say. There was no need for Luuk to know that, though.

“We aren’t going to run forever, Luuk. Just long enough to buy us some time. Just until we figure out what the hell went wrong, and the best way to fix it.” Natalie tried to keep her voice steady this time, with a small amount of success. She had at least one idea already as to how they might get a little bit more information, but it was one that she’d rather not resort to unless absolutely necessary, and so she kept it to herself for the moment. “Once we’ve managed to catch our breath, you’ll pack a bag with any essentials and we’ll get back on the subway. Go find a cheap motel that neither of us have ever visited before, where they won’t know to look for us. Somewhere we can think. Plan out our next move without having to worry about them kicking in our door again…in the short term, at the very least.”

Natalie seemed to find some measure of control the longer her speech went on, as if the mere act of talking out her ideas was convincing her that they were possible. Feeling a little bit steadier than she had a few moments ago, now that they had some semblance of an idea as to what came next, she finally trusted herself to do something a little more active. Natalie turned and strolled over to the same chair that Luuk had been sitting in just a few moments earlier. She grabbed the backrest and dragged it into the middle of the room, so that it sat between them.

“But first, you’re going to sit, and I’m going to have a look at whatever the hell it is you’ve done to your back. Neither of us are going anywhere until we can be certain that you’re okay. And before you try and argue, we wouldn’t exactly be conspicuous out there if you’re bleeding over everything” she added. Whilst she spoke, Natalie pointed at the chair with one hand, practically demanding that he obey. How had she not noticed earlier that he were bleeding? Natalie didn’t know, but the thought was worrying, for reasons all its own.

“With any luck, we still have a bit of time before our new friend comes to, or his employer realises that he hasn’t returned, so we might as well make good use of it.” Her words contradicted her earlier statement slightly, but her priorities had shifted, now that Luuk had drawn attention to his injury. Either way, she hoped that this was the more accurate assessment of the two. “Do you know if there are any first aid supplies anywhere around here?”

[Ashen]

Luuk barely heard Natalie’s words, distracted as he was, but the severity of them pulled him back to reality. They would stay somewhere new, somewhere away from here, somewhere safe. He nodded imperceptibly, already trying to think of the hotels he’d passed on his errand trips around town. It had never been something he’d needed to consider, but now, he wondered just how much was riding on their decision. If they didn’t move, or if they moved somewhere too near, too obvious, what would happen to them? A shiver ran down his spine. The sudden pressure he felt was suffocating, and though he’d always thought he’d handled stress well, Luuk suddenly was struggling to breathe.

Just until we figure out what went wrong. He stopped and watched Natalie, tried to find the answers to his unasked questions in her face. Had this been his fault? The question returned to him, insistent. He repeated all of Natalie’s warnings to himself, all the stories about their people, about what happened, about what could happen. Had he ruined something, somehow? He’d followed her words, hadn’t told anyone about the magic he wielded, but it was possible someone had overheard them discussing it, maybe. As different possibilities of varying likeliness shrouded his thoughts, Luuk struggled to find any explanation for this, anything that made sense in this now nonsensical world.

The sudden movement of the chair drew his attention, and he turned to Natalie with a question in his eyes. “What I’ve done to my back,” he repeated quietly. That wasn’t how he had remembered it, but now was not the time to point blame for something so insignificant. “I’m fine,” he assured, though he walked over to the chair and dropped into it. “It was just when I fell, I think I landed on something, but it’s not too bad. We have more important things to worry about.” Though the dulling pain stretched across his back, the actual wound was much smaller, extending only across a shoulder blade. He’d been cut by something sharp, deep enough only to make a mess. The pools around it seemed darker against his pale skin, seemed worse by the way the shirt had spread them, but his wound was no longer bleeding heavily. Before Natalie could get much a look at it, Luuk was up again, moving to his bed and kneeling by it to retrieve a deep container stored under it. He wordlessly pulled out a first aid kit from it and walked back to the chair, mumbling quietly, “I’m fine.”

It had been a gift from Karen when he’d moved to campus for the first time, and though he hadn’t had many opportunities to use its contents, Luuk had replaced the creams and expired tablets every year. He took some bandages from the kit and handed them and the kit itself to Natalie. He gave his back to her again as he awkwardly drooped across the back of the chair. When had he last been fussed over like this? Natalie’s kindness felt misplaced between the events of their day, but he was thankful for them. He turned to look at her from over his shoulder. So busy worrying about him; he wondered what she was thinking, what thoughts she was ignoring to tend to him.

He turned back around with a shake of his head, then took out his phone and pulled up a map. As Natalie cleaned his wound, he bookmarked several motels. “How far should we go?” he asked, scrolling out to expand his search. Without a car, they were limited in where they could go, lest they pay hefty fees in public transportation or walk long distances where the trains failed them. Going back for Natalie’s car would benefit them, but not now; Luuk knew there was no way he could do that now. He handed his phone to her, showing her the list of bookmarks he’d chosen. “Do you recognize any of these? We can book a room online and head out…” He looked around the room again, at the things he’d need to pack, the things he’d need to leave behind. Everything was happening so fast, but with all at stake, he didn’t have time to mourn his belongings. “As soon as we’re ready,” he finished quietly.

[Namingtoohard]

The feeble attempts Luuk made at brushing aside her concerns were met with nothing but stern silence, and an unconvinced expression that made it all too clear Natalie wasn’t going to relent. The knowledge that he had been hurt and bleeding for so long only served to help reaffirm Natalie’s convictions, and convince her that tending to his wound was absolutely the biggest priority right now, lest the situation worsen. When presented with the first aid kit that Luuk had fortunately had the foresight to keep nearby, Natalie would spend a few brief moments rattling through the contents, taking quick inventory of what she had to work with, and only then would she move to take up a position behind Luuk, turning her attention to the wound in full.

A quick glance was enough for her to tell that the wound was no longer bleeding quite so heavily, which made for a good start. Natalie had completed a first aid course years ago, and whilst she hadn’t had much reason to practice her skills outside of a classroom in recent memory, one thing she did recall clearly is that bleeding was always to be treated first. Satisfied that she had a little more time yet, the mage decided to start by cleaning up around the wound, so that she might better see what she was doing in the steps to come. She plucked a tube of saline solution from the first aid kit and quickly cracked the seal on it, before drizzling it over the wound gently. A spare bandage held in her other hand made quick work of the coagulated blood that had spread across Luuk’s back, away from the incision itself. The saline solution would help to serve as a disinfectant in some limited capacity too, though Natalie suspected that it would sting a little.

Once it was clean, Natalie spent a little time focusing on the wound itself. The cut was smaller than the amount of blood had led her to expect originally, but she was having some trouble accurately judging its depth. It didn’t look as if anything was stuck in the wound itself, which was another plus, but Natalie wasn’t quite as confident in that assessment as she would have liked. Would a bandage do in the long term, or would stitches be required? As she puzzled over the question, her gaze slowly drifted to the box she had carried with her all this time. The contents could certainly help her here, but…no. Now wasn’t the time.

Her musings were interrupted when Luuk spoke next. Natalie would hastily set down the tube of saline and reach out to take his phone when it was offered to her, dirty bandage held suspended in her other hand. She’d flick through the options at a slow and clumsy pace for a moment, before catching herself. Sternly reminding herself that she had more important things to do, Natalie would reach out to hand it back to him. The searching would give him something to do while she worked, and he was doubtless better with technology than she was.

“Lets try and narrow it down a little. What are our priorities at the moment?” Natalie spoke out loud, turning the question over in her mind as she plucked a clean bandage and a dressing from the first aid kit. What did they realistically need most, in the short term? Would more crowded areas help them better blend in, or only raise the chances someone spotted them? So many questions, so few plain answers. Thankfully, the next part of her treatment was simple enough, leaving her with enough attention to try and consider it.

“Try and find somewhere within walking distance of a public transport. We’ll want to go far enough from here to avoid being found easily, but close enough to come back here or visit my apartment, if necessary…though I’m not quite where exactly to draw that line. Having some shops nearby would be a big help, too. A shopping centre would be ideal, but I’ll settle for any sort of phone retailer, to start with…oh, and a bank would be good.” Even while Natalie spoke, a few basic ideas were quickly springing to mind. Nothing so complex as to constitute a proper plan, but a few steps they’d want to take in the near future.

She placed the dressing she had picked up earlier over Luuk’s wound, and began wrapping the clean bandage around his shoulder and back under his arm awkwardly with her free hand, trying her best to keep as much pressure on the cut as possible. Things began to run a little more smoothly when the bandage was tight enough to hold the dressing in place itself, and Natalie was able to bend both her hands to the task. After just a few more moments of work, the dressing was secure, and she’d tie the bandage off before tucking the knot back underneath. It wasn’t pretty, but it would do for now.

“Alright, you’re good to go.” Natalie stepped away from Luuk and the chair as she announced that her work was complete. “Pass me the phone, if you haven’t found a place yet. I can keep looking while you start to pack. Just let me know if you need a hand grabbing anything.”

[Ashen]

Luuk was surprised at Natalie's efficiency at all this. She was quick and thorough with dealing with his wound, and she was outwardly calm and ready to pick up and move, even this quickly. He wondered if that was because of the years she had on him, the life experience that he had yet to gain, or if she was used to this because of who she was, who she wasn't allowed to be. He tried to swallow the thoughts, not wanting to think of what she had gone through and, by extension, what he might have to get used to. Instead he focused on anything else, on the sting of liquid entering his wound, of the dozens of lodgings on his screen he was tasked with scrolling through.

A small nod was the only indication he gave that he had heard her. Luuk narrowed his search according to Natalie's specifications. Luckily, Gloucester was a big enough city that stores and banks populated every street corner, so as long as they didn't stray too far, public transportation would be easy and they'd be able to find a convenient place. He found a few places not far from bus or train stations, then thumbed through the online reviews of each as Natalie finished dressing his back. When she was done, he handed the phone back to her to look over the list, much smaller than before.

Now that he wasn't in danger of bleeding on everything, Luuk retrieved a clean polo shirt from his closet and threw it on. He shoved the bloodied one into the trash, then buried it under papers and wrappers already there. He spilled the contents of his backpack onto his bed, then refilled it with what he considered his essentials: his wallet and identification, important documents, his laptop, chargers, and a safe full of "rainy day" cash that he tapped into far too frequently. Next he packed toiletries, clothes, tools. He pulled a duffel bag from his closet and filled that too. By the time he finished, his room was still half-furnished. He was leaving so much behind, but he knew bringing too much would be an inconvenience, and he could come back for the rest later. Or, he hoped.

Everything packed, Luuk took his phone back from Natalie and booked a room at the motel they'd chosen. He only informed Natalie afterwards, not wanting her to fight over finances at the moment. "I booked three nights," he informed her. "We can extend our stay later, but I thought keeping it short for now would be smarter, at least until we have a more solid plan, and while we're still..." On the run, his brain supplied, but he didn't want to say the words, as if doing so would make them more real. He shook his head. Luuk went to the trashcan and tied off the bag. "I'll be right back," he said, and he disappeared down the hall.

He was careful to keep the blood hidden as he took out the trash. It was a short walk outside and to the dumpsters, but paranoia followed him the entire way. What would he say if someone found him? Just act normal, he reminded himself. You live here. Lived here. With the trash discarded, he took out his phone, and he opened to a new text message. He and Frankie had never been friends, but Luuk felt he owed it to the kid to tell him that he was disappearing, and to not worry about him. But shaking fingers hovered over the keyboard, and he found himself at a loss for words. Frankie would ask why, why Luuk was leaving and why he was leaving his things, and Luuk didn't have an answer to that that would make sense. Maybe it was better to not involve him at all, he thought, and though he knew it was better this way, guilt snaked up his throat as he put his phone away and returned to his room.

He didn't acknowledge Natalie, only took up his bags and headed back out, locking the door behind him. To get to their motel, they would need to take a train and walk for several blocks. His Maps app told him they'd arrive in half an hour, thirty whole minutes of panic and paranoia. What if they saw that man again, the man who had threatened them? How many of his allies stalked the streets, looking for them? Luuk tried not to think about it. He looked back to make sure Natalie was following him, and he made his way back to the same station they'd come from.

While waiting for the train to arrive, Luuk shifted awkwardly. "Natalie--" he started, but he didn't know how to continue, how to form the questions he was dying to ask. Was it stupid of him to pick up and follow this woman this quickly? No, Luuk decided, the threat was real, had been waved in his face; he needed to leave. He turned back to Natalie, and a sole question slipped past his lips: "Who are​ you?"

[Namingtoohard]

Natalie was quick to accept the phone when Luuk handed it to her. She’d help herself to a seat on the far end of his bed and begin flicking through the options that remained, determined to make a decision before Luuk had finished packing. The woman had no real skill with technology, but things seemed a little bit more manageable now that Luuk had narrowed down their options so much, and Natalie continued to work diligently, progressing through them at her own pace. The mage would pause only occasionally, glancing across at Luuk as he packed, like a worried mother making sure her child wasn’t forgetting anything important, just in case.

Once Luuk was done, she was quick to hand back his phone, and nodded in simple agreement when he finished booking the hotel they had settled on. Given that she had been forced to leave her wallet behind, she would have needed him to pay for everything regardless, at least until she could find a way to safely get access to her accounts again. His initiative saved her the embarrassment of having to ask, though – a small blessing she was inwardly grateful for. She’d be sure to offer him at least half the cost in repayment later, once she was back on her feet.

When Luuk announced that he was going to take out the trash, Natalie tried to suppress her anxiety at the thought of letting him go out there alone. What if their survival had already been discovered, and he was cornered without her around? But…no. They’d never get anywhere if she couldn’t trust Luuk to look after himself, especially on the most frivolous of errands. Instead, Natalie busied herself by checking the contents of her precious little wooden chest. Careful of the damaged hinge, she lifted the lid and looked over the contents, searching them for any obvious damage. Once she was satisfied that the interior was more or less intact, she closed it again. As soon as Luuk returned, she tucked the box under one arm, and fell into step behind him when he scooped up his bags and made to leave.

Another short walk back to the train station, entirely different and similar to the one before, somehow. Natalie stayed silent as they slipped through the turnstiles and made their way down to the appropriate platform, with a few minutes to spare. She stood there patiently, trapped in her own head, until Luuk posed his question.

Natalie hadn’t been doing much, but even so, it was enough to make her pause. His wording was vague, and yet she knew exactly what he really meant. Who was she, to think so quickly when confronted with an armed gunman? To seem so calm and methodical when thinking about what they had to do next? To clean and bandage a wound without flinching? Even when one discounted her magic, there were still unanswered questions, and Luuk was much too intelligent to go for long without piecing things together. Truth be told, Natalie wasn’t totally sure herself. Beyond that, she didn’t want to lie to him again, but didn’t feel particularly ready to speak on the truth. Given this morning’s events, a lot of old wounds were suddenly feeling fresh again, and she was already having a difficult enough time forgiving herself. To invite his judgement now seemed akin to inviting self-destruction.

Natalie was silent for a long time as she considered how best to answer his question. When she finally started to form the words, she’d glance up and down the platform, as if trying to make sure they were alone – or at least beyond earshot.

“I’m just…Let’s just say that I have experience with this sort of thing, okay?.” Natalie’s voice was soft, barely more than a whisper, and she subconsciously hugged her box closer to her. “This isn’t the first time I’ve messed up and had to start over.”

It felt like a lame explanation, even to her own ears. She was still trying to come up with more to add when the train finally arrived, pulling up alongside the platform. Natalie stayed back as the doors slid open and a small handful of people stepped off, before moving to take their place. This train proved to be less crowded than the previous one, if only slightly, and she was able to claim a seat a little further down the carriage, with one open next to her for Luuk, if he felt so inclined. Her weight shifted slightly as the train lurched into motion again, carrying them towards their destination, but she was quick to settled back into her seat.

“Remember what I told you about your parents? Well, I went through something similar back then. I survived, even if they…” Natalie’s voice trailed off, and she immediately regretted her choice of words. Regretted that she had reminded Luuk of what had happened to his birth parents, especially at a time like this. It was difficult, trying to speak in such vague terms whilst there were other people around. But she knew Luuk was intelligent enough to grasp her meaning, and hopefully that would be enough. For the time being, at the very least.

[Ashen]

Luuk could only watch her, unflinching, as Natalie considered his question. It shouldn't have been difficult to answer, yet she looked pained, as if his words had brought with them more than she was presently willing to face. He forced his gaze away from her, to give her the privacy to answer his question without him scrutinizing her expression. She was going through this too, Luuk reminded himself. She had been the initial target, and she was being uprooted, chased, and terrified too. He could at least afford her a few moments to compose herself.

When she did reply, he was left with no answers, only confirmations to the things he had already assumed to be true. A frown settled on his lips. He wondered if he could get her to talk more, to give him the answers he had asked for, the ones he needed. For a moment, his gaze flickered to her box, the one that had seemed so important. He thought to ask her of its contents. Would it hold the clues she seemed so unwilling to give? Would he have to pry the answers from this witch himself? But a part of him stalled, felt like he was invading her privacy in even thinking to ask about the box. He bit his lip, weighing his choices.

Before he could decide, he turned his head to watch a train screech to a stop before him. Though he was grateful to have his choice made for him, he hesitated. There was still so much else he wanted to ask, but he did not want to seem odd, or predatory, in this public space. He did not want to overwhelm his only ally. But doubts settled in his mind, invasive. Natalie boarded the train, but Luuk lingered on the platform, watching her search for a seat. He'd been so sure, before, about blindly following her, changing his entire life and jumping into the unknown, kissing safety goodbye for a chance to follow this ability that she claimed his parents had known. He'd always been hasty, a trait he'd been teased for before, but now, as he sat with Natalie's unsatisfactory answer, as trauma blurred his judgment, he wondered who his enemies really were.

He stepped onto the train, and he followed Natalie to a pair of seats onboard. He sat beside her, gaze unfocused. Could he press the issue now? He reevaluated her answer, her actions through all of this. So deep in thought, it took him a moment to realize when she started talking again. He looked up at the mention of his parents, and his eyes darkened. They had died. They had died while Natalie had lived. Subconsciously, his fingers tightened around the straps of one of his bags. Had she... used them? No, Luuk told himself, Natalie wouldn't do that. The guilt she'd shown when first telling him about their deaths, that had been genuine, hadn't it? Or had she been responsible for their deaths, and she was now leading him to the same fate?

A cough escaped his throat. Luuk shook his head. Such viscous thoughts; where were these even coming from? In his emotional turmoil, was he just looking for someone to take the blame of his situation? Or was he onto something, and Natalie was... Well, he didn't know who she was. How could he trust her after all?

Luuk said nothing for the duration of the train ride, and during their walk to the hotel, he was too distracted with his paranoia to say much. They reached the hotel and got a pair of keys from check-in, then went up to their room and eagerly closed the door behind them. Finally, out of the public eye, Luuk was alone to his thoughts and the one responsible for all of them. He tossed his bags onto one of the beds in the room and sat beside them. The room was a small thing, with not much of a view, and a little TV that might have been older than he was. It wasn't an ideal place to live, but on short notice, if would serve their purpose. Absently, he wondered how long they would be here, but that thought was drowned out by the millions of others.

He turned his attention back to Natalie. His eyes were closed over, and his mouth was pulled tight. He worried his bottom lip before finally speaking. "Look." His voice was quiet, pained. "I appreciate all you've done, and all you've been doing, to teach me our power, and to reconnect me with who my parents were. But I have to know: Why did you do this? If you knew the danger, if you knew that all this would happen, why did you reach out to me at all?" His gaze faltered to the rug of their room. He had a million guesses, but he needed to hear from her, even if he wasn't sure she would have a satisfying answer. "Did you do this to my mum and dad, too?" He voice was quieter now, and bringing his gaze back to her seemed labored. "Is that how they died?"

[Namingtoohard]

The muted clanking of the train carriage as it glided over the tracks. The occasional, robotic announcement crackling over the speakers, announcing the various stops they would make. Footsteps, idle conversation, and the occasional cough or sneeze. Such normal sounds, all of them. Too much so, for a day that had taken almost everything from Natalie. And yet, they were nowhere near as deafening as the silence that lingered between her and Luuk. The older woman felt like she should have been grateful for the chance to compose herself, but in reality, she couldn’t help but feel chastised by the lingering quiet. His unwillingness, or inability, to speak or ask anything further.

By the time they arrived at their destination station, Natalie felt like she couldn’t escape the train’s interior fast enough. She followed a few steps behind Luuk for the entirety of their short walk to the motel. Even from the outside, she thought it looked average at best, tio put things kindly. It struck her as the type of place that would have small rooms, uncomfortable beds, and dirty bathrooms – unpleasant in every regard except price. A motel that would appeal only to backpackers, tourists, and the desperate. Hopefully her former employers wouldn’t think to look for her here.

They signed in quickly, without any sort of ceremony or small talk – a fact Natalie couldn’t help but feel grateful for. She followed Luuk towards their numbered door, and quickly found herself encapsulated in a room every bit as old and dingy as she had imagined. It didn’t matter, though. So long as the place served its purpose, she could put up with a little discomfort.

When Luuk claimed the first bed for himself, Natalie walked around it, moving towards the second. She had no bags of her own to take care of, given that all of her personal belongings were now effectively abandoned. Instead, she eyed the small, wooden nightstand that sat between the two single beds. A small lamp sat atop it, but Natalie paid that no mind. Instead, she pulled open the first drawer and placed her own little wooden box inside, before sliding it shut again. It was a paltry defence at best, she knew – anyone who searched their rooms would find it immediately, with no resistance. She felt a little better now that it was locked away out of immediate sight, though, and not having to carry it around anymore was a welcome bonus.

It was about that time that Luuk finally spoke. More questions, directly related to those that he had posed earlier. Ones that Natalie felt entirely unprepared for, if not outright incapable of answering right now. She forced a wan smile and seated herself on her own bed, opposite of him, determined to try. Even so, she couldn’t help but hesitate, just briefly. Her answer would require an admission that she certainly didn’t want to make, but…well, what choice did she have? She owed Luuk this much, at the very least.

“I guess I was just…tired of being alone. Tired and…afraid. Afraid of being the last person who would ever practice our craft, without anyone to share my accomplishments with, or pass my experience on to.” The words seemed to tear at Natalie’s throat as she spoke them. A verbal reminder of something she had always known, deep down inside, but tried to avoid admitting to herself. Speaking the words made her fears feel more real, somehow. More tangible. “Sitting here, now, I know it was a poor decision. A moment of weakness, and I’ve destroyed the entire life you used to have. I won’t blame you if you hate me for it.”

As Natalie’s words faded into silence, she wasn’t at all surprised to realise she could feel her eyes watering. She raised one of her hands to her face and rubbed at them idly for a moment, one after the other, as if trying to banish the tears before they could spill over. Of course, the gesture itself was likely just as telling as any actual tears would have been. There was no hiding some things, it seemed – a fact she was learning here and now, much too late. The hardest part was still to come, too.

“Your parents were accomplished mages before I ever met them, Luuk. I didn’t drag them into this. But…” Natalie paused. How could she possibly explain this without incriminating herself? Did she even deserve to walk out of this blameless? The answer was quick in coming. No. Definitely not.

“I wasn’t there when your father died. I didn’t find out it had happened until after the fact. But your mother…I watched it happen, Luuk.” Natalie’s voice dropped to a whisper as she spoke those final words. The tears finally began to spill over, sliding down her cheeks silently, despite her earlier efforts. “The man who killed her…it was so quick, so unexpected, I didn’t realise what was happening until it was already too late. Our positions very easily could have been reversed, but…well, here we are. I often wish they had been.”

[Ashen]

He didn't take note of her reaction to this room, nor her movement in it, except for the box she tucked away into the drawer by her bed. Luuk only watched Natalie as she finally answered the questions that had been on his mind this whole time. As she spoke, he realized all she had wanted was... a son. Luuk turned away, chewing the thought. She had wanted someone to know, to grow close to, someone to trust, and someone to whom she could pass on her skills, this magic. She hadn't mentioned any children of her own, or a family at all, so he had been an opportunity for her. Luuk was no child, and he would never get those years back, years with his real parents learning about the things Natalie sought to teach him. But hadn't he wanted that, too? Hadn't he longed for those moments of encouragement, of instruction, of reprimand, or love, that Natalie was offering him? Luuk could criticize her poor judgment, the weight of the choices she'd made that had brought them here, but he could not bring himself to hate her.

She confirmed that his parents' deaths were not her fault, and at that, Luuk let out a breath. At least he could take solace in that. However, the single syllable that slipped behind her words, that but halted his relief. Again he felt dread creep upon him, guessing at what she was about to say. He turned back to her, contemplating her next words. Did he want to know? He had to know; he deserved to know whom he was trusting with his life.

As she explained, Luuk imagined his mother, confused, helpless, falling to her death in front of a friend, a friend that might have died in her place. Natalie mentioned a man, a murderer; could that have been the same man who had run them out of Natalie's home? Or were multiple people after them, ready to dispose of anyone capable of their forbidden art? And why? Luuk wondered what his mother had had that Natalie hadn't, why she had died and Natalie was still here.

He didn't know when Natalie started crying, but when Luuk did notice, guilt bit at him, settling in his chest. Maybe he shouldn't have asked. He was forcing her to relive this traumatic experience, and on a day already full of changes and fear. But he had deserved this answer, even if it hurt her, especially if it hurt her. He cast a glance around the room and, finding no tissue box, got up and walked to the bathroom. He reappeared a moment later with a handful of toilet paper, which he wordlessly offered to Natalie. He sat back down in his bed and, while she wiped at her tears, tried to wrangle his thoughts into something that made sense.

He was silent for several minutes. The thought that Natalie could have done something to save his mother crossed his mind only briefly, but he quickly dismissed it. "It's not your fault," he finally said. Seeing how this ate at her, even after so much time... He couldn't help but feel sorry for her. He hesitated. "If it's as you say, then you couldn't have done anything. It's not your fault. I'm... glad she had a familiar face, in her last moments." He brought his eyes up to her. "I think she'd... thank you. For telling me about her, and Dad. And for bringing me here, despite everything." He hesitated. With so much to say, where could he start? There was still so much to know, but as he watched Natalie's tears spill from her eyes, he thought perhaps now was not the time.

Luuk straightened. He looked to the window of their room. "Do you want... food?" he suggested. He had no appetite, and he was sure Natalie wouldn't either, but eating would do them some good, he figured, and it would give them time to compose themselves. "We can order something small," he added. "Do you like... wings? I think I saw a pizza place close by." He grabbed for his phone, already searching for an online menu for every take-out restaurant nearby.

He was no good at comforting people. His foster mother had often ordered food when he was down, and he hoped the same strategy would work now with Natalie. There was still much to discuss, but those things could wait, if for a little while. He glanced back to her, wishing he could help. "I don't hate you," he added quietly. "I'm angry, that you'd drag me through this without telling me of the dangers, but I... I get it. Being so alone, and so lonely, just wishing you could have anyone to share yourself with." He straightened, shaking his head. In her position, would he have done the same? He couldn't know. He couldn't blame her. Turning back to his phone, he murmured an apology, for all that he had caused.

[Namingtoohard]

The few brief minutes that followed the end of her explanation were some of the longest that Natalie had ever lived, rivalled only by the very night they were discussing. Even now, so many years on, she could remember the evening they were speaking about with perfect clarity. The images in her mind were more vivid than Natalie would ever have hoped, or have wanted. A pool of blood, spreading outwards slowly. The ringing in her ears. Her hands, usually so steady, shaking uncontrollably. The surprise, anger, despair, and fury, all knotted together so tightly within her chest that she had felt as if she were going to choke. Images and impressions circled through her mind as if it were a broken record, stuck on repeat. In a way, it had been, ever since that night.

Would he hate her? She wondered. It would only be fair, after everything she had put – was putting – him through. In that moment, her brain seemed convinced that was the only possible outcome. Natalie wouldn’t blame him, of course. She had said as much just a few moments earlier, and she had meant it. Beyond that, would it even matter? How would the weight of his scorn compare to all the guilt and self-loathing that she had nurtured over the past two decades? Natalie didn’t know, but she was convinced that she was about to find out.

She made no move to stop Luuk when he rose, and posed no questions about where he was going, or what he intended to do. Natalie scarcely seemed to notice at all, truth be told. If he wanted some time to himself, who was she to deny him? When he returned, toilet paper in hand, it took a moment for her mind to realise what he intended. She reached out and took the makeshift tissues wordlessly, surprised by small yet kind gesture. The tears refused to stop coming, but Natalie tried to wipe them away regardless, whilst she listened to his answer.

It was…more than she had expected, and certainly more than she would ever have dared to hope for. A small nod was the only answer Natalie trusted herself to give, since her voice seemed likely to betray her.

Luuk’s sudden offer of food was met with a weak laugh. One that seemed to come out of nowhere, slipping out between individual sobs. Even so, Natalie felt better for it. She sniffed idly as she considered the prospect, an equally weak smile flickering across her features. The flow of tears finally seemed to slow now, at long last.

“Sure. I had a few more things I wanted to get done today, but I guess they’ll have to wait. I guess now isn’t really the time” she answered. Her voice still seemed a little shaky, even to her own ears, but there was nothing she could do about it right now Much like her companion, Natalie wasn’t feeling particularly hungry at the moment. Still, if he wanted to get food, she was hardly going to refuse. Besides, even if she didn’t feel like eating, it would still probably do her some good. Even so, she’d hesitate at the words that followed. How could she possibly respond to that? What could she say that would possibly do her thoughts justice? In the end, she whispered the only two that sprang to mind. “Thank you.”

Natalie would excuse herself after that. She’d rise and make her way over to the bathroom, before pulling the door shut behind her, leaving Luuk alone to make their order. A glance in the mirror was enough to confirm how terrible she looked, with red eyes and splotchy cheeks. She’d turn on the sink’s faucet and then cup her hands beneath the running water, before splashing it over her face briefly. After a few repetitions, she both looked and felt a little more put-together. Even beyond that, cold water and some time alone had given her a chance to compose herself. There were a few other things she wanted to express to Luuk that she hadn’t had the presence of mind to mention before.

Natalie would step out of the bathroom a few minutes later, both looking and feeling considerably better. As soon as she was certain Luuk was off the phone, she’d be quick to offer up what she had neglected to mention before.

“If you really want to hear it, then I’ll sit down and tell you the full story sometime, once all this is over. Just…not yet. It’s a little too close to home right now for my tastes, and you need to learn more about our magic before you’ll be able to understand everything that took place that night.”

[Ashen]

Natalie's laughter burst out of nowhere, almost pathetic in the way it rolled out of her, unprompted, yet unmistakably beautiful in its own right. It brought a smile to Luuk's lips. Though this wasn't the response he'd been expecting, nor the one that made any sense, he was glad to see her smiling regardless, no matter how weakly. He simply nodded his agreement at her words--whatever plans he'd had for the day were surely moot now as well, and picking up the pieces of the life he'd had only hours ago could wait until they were calmer and fuller. He offered her another smile at her thanks, and as she went to the bathroom to clean herself up, he dialed the number of the restaurant he'd chosen.

From the sounds of the many voices buzzing from the other line, the pizza place was quite busy at this hour. While Luuk was put on hold, he wondered how thinly he would have to spread his savings account, how long before he would be able to apply for the jobs he'd studied for. How careful would he have to be, going forward, and for how long? His incessant thoughts threatened to overwhelm him, so he shook his head and tried to concentrate on the food he'd chosen. Once he'd placed the order, he hung up and took a shaky breath. Luuk felt the need to check his balances from his phone. He would be fine for a bit, at least, but what then?

It was then that Natalie returned from the bathroom to interrupt his paranoia. Though she looked somewhat calmer, her eyes were still red, and her cheeks held remnants of their earlier streams. He didn't dare comment, instead turning his attention back to his phone, but when she spoke, he met her eye. "Of course," was his automatic reply, but his emotions burned fiercely. He would try to be understanding of her trauma, of the sensitive subjects she needed to avoid to protect herself, but a part of him, a childish part of him wanted his answers, and he didn't like being made to wait for them. He swallowed the anger that bubbled in him and nodded. "Take all the time you need."

After a moment of composing himself, Luuk shoved his phone into his pocket and rose. "I'm going to pick up the food," he announced. "I... thought that was better than having it delivered," he added. He wondered if his caution was just paranoia, or if Natalie would take solace in his foresight. He hated all the doubts now he had, all the second-guessing he was doing about the most mundane things. "I think I should go alone," he continued. Whoever was looking for Natalie knew her, but only one person had seen him, so he thought this safer. The restaurant wasn't far; he would be alright, he assured himself. "I won't be long." And once he was sure Natalie would be okay--as okay as she could be--he set off to retrieve their order.

He returned several minutes later with a box in one hand and a plastic bag strung around the other wrist. He nodded a greeting towards Natalie, then, finding no good place to put the food, balanced the box on the end of the nightstand. "Pepperoni calzone, barbecue wings, soda..." He motioned to each item as he named it, then offered Natalie the plastic utensils from the bag. "I... forgot the plates," he realized awkwardly. He held the box out to her instead, a makeshift plate, and hoped it was enough.

And in the messiness of their meal, in the awkward and informal scene of the greasy calzone, the bubbling soda, the kick of the wings contained in the foreign room, Luuk could almost convince himself this was just a family vacation, a pitstop on some road trip he was having, not the waiting room of their persecution, the rest of their lives in hiding--or perhaps the unwillingness to hide. The future, though different than how it had looked before, was just as limitless.

Though the adrenaline had died down, he could not deny the many doubts still weaving through his mind, nor the many questions he still held without any answers. But Luuk knew better than to try to learn more now. He had to wait, to see how things would unfold now, and to play by ear. Things would become clear in time, he reminded himself. All he could do now was protect himself, and Natalie, and learn more about the strange art he was being hunted for.

[Namingtoohard]

Luuk’s patience and understanding were both appreciated, irrespective of how genuine they might have been. A big part of Natalie wanted to give him the answers he sought, but she simply didn’t feel capable of reliving those memories right now. Especially not after the emotional rollercoaster that today had been. Instead, it became just another topic on the growing list of things she would need to show or explain to him eventually. For now, that promise of eventual closure would have to be enough. Hopefully they’d both survive long enough to see it become a reality.

The talk of Luuk going to pick up the food they had ordered alone was enough to make Natalie hesitate. Would they have been better off getting it delivered? Would a delivery person knowing where they were staying be less risky than having to go out there and show their faces? If there was a risk to be taken, shouldn’t she be the one who take the chance, instead of risking the life of someone younger, someone who was an innocent third party to all this? The questions came quick and unbridled before Natalie took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. They were going to need to put themselves out there eventually, and as dangers went, this was a very small one. Luuk was technically an adult grown, and she couldn’t protect him forever.

“The store is just around the corner, right? Take all the time you need” Natalie answered, after a too-long pause. She did her best to sound calm and unbothered by the prospect, with moderate success. Once Luuk had slipped from the room, she would lock the door behind him quickly, before helping herself to a seat atop her bed. She knew he’d probably only be gone for a couple of minutes, but even so, Natalie was glad for another little moment of privacy. Seeking a distraction, she turned her attention to their surroundings, and began pondering what she could possibly do to make them a little more…bearable.

By the time Luuk returned, Natalie was feeling better still. She’d managed to avoid worrying over him the entire time he was gone, by some small miracle. What’s more, whilst she hadn’t thought herself hungry when they had ordered, the mere smell of the food he was carrying was enough to make her stomach growl. She accepted the makeshift plate Luuk offered her with a weak chuckle, and was quick to suggest that Luuk use a napkin as a temporary replacement, if the store had been generous enough to give him any.

Their meal passed without any real discussion of consequence. The silence was marred mostly by the inevitable rearranging of ‘plates’ and bags that occurred every time Natalie reached out to help herself to a little more calzone, or another wing. The food had the strange sort of greasiness that only cheap fast food ever seemed to achieve – the type that made it extremely satisfying to eat, but left you regretting your decisions just ten minutes or so after you were finished. The hallmark of a traditional budget holiday, in Natalie’s opinion. Once the two of them were done, she’d lean back and try to relax for a moment, before finally speaking up.

“Not bad, all things considered” she’d offer idly. Another dash of normality, injected into a situation such as theirs, hardly struck her as a bad thing. Unfortunately, it wasn’t long before she would relent, and instead turn her attention to matters at hand. “We should probably wake up early tomorrow and try to catch the news. See if there’s anything about what happened at my apartment on there. We might learn something new.”

Whilst she spoke, Natalie rose from her seat, having spied something that had given her an idea. With deft fingers, she plucked a stray pen from the surface of their nightstand. She stepped over towards their room’s front door as she pulled the cap off, before testing it on the back of her arm. She hated working with pens, given how inconsistent the ink flow could be, but in a situation like this, it would suffice…or so she thought. Her dislike quickly proved justified. A scowl flickered across Natalie’s features, and her movements became the quick scratching of someone desperately trying to get a pen to work.

“Damn thing. Motel can’t even give us a pen that works” she muttered softly, almost to herself, before throwing a glance back in Luuk’s direction. “I’d wanted to make this place a little more secure, but I guess it’ll have to wait until tomorrow, after I’ve had the chance to do some shopping.”

[Ashen]

The calm of their quiet meal was a welcome reprieve after the long day they’d had, and Luuk was able to dismiss thoughts of their new reality for more idle, complacent ones of their food. The wings were too mild, the soda too flat, the calzone too greasy; for a moment, he could convince himself he was at a fast food restaurant on campus, eating the food prepared for students pushing through just one more test, one more paper, students just like him. It he let himself, he could almost believe nothing had changed at all.

Once they finished with their meal, Luuk began clearing their trash into the bag he’d brought the food in. He raised a brow at Natalie’s suggestion to wake up early and check the news. Such a statement reminded him of their age gap, and he chuckled lightly. “Or we can check the internet,” he suggested instead, already abandoning the trash bag to grab his phone. He navigated to his browser, but he hesitated, fingers lingering nervously over the on-screen keyboard. Would their pursuers be able to track his IP address, track his tracking them? Now he was definitely being paranoid, he thought as he opened a tab in incognito mode.

He browsed three different news sources, and there was nothing out of the ordinary on any of them. A robbery here, an inspiring story there; there was nothing about Natalie’s apartment, nor about the man who had tried to shoot them. He closed out all the tabs, double-checked he had closed them, then put his phone back in his pocket. He’d check again come morning, but he wasn’t sure if no news was good news or not.

When he looked up, he saw Natalie fiddling with a pen at the door. “Oh,” Luuk mumbled, looking around the room for where he had placed his things. “You should have just asked. I’ve got loads of pens. Perks of being a student.” He paused, then corrected, “Perks of having been a student.” Luuk approached his bags and spent a couple minutes digging around the bottom of one. After an apology for how long he’d taken, he pulled out the writing implement and uncapped it, then ran it over his hand to ensure it worked. Satisfied, he held it out to Natalie.

As she took it, Luuk shifted awkwardly. He watched her for a moment, waiting to see what she would do, what circles she would ink into her skin. Ever curious, he cocked his head, and he asked, “What are you going to do?” He drew closer, and his voice grew lower. “Are you going to reinforce the door? The lock?” A nervous gaze swept the room, settling at the window, shut and covered. His new hesitance gave way to his need for knowledge, his desire to perfect what he knew he could do. “If you can rewrite locks, that could be useful during… this.” After thinking on it a moment, he asked, “Can you show me how?”

[Namingtoohard]

More than happy to gloss over her old-fashioned ways of thinking, Natalie waited patiently for Luuk to produce another pen. She took the moment to replace the cap on the one she was holding and toss it into the bin casually. That seemed the only appropriate place for it, useless as it had proven. The older woman accepted the new one with a nod of appreciation, before quickly testing it on her own skin, despite the fact that Luuk had done the same thing just a few moments earlier. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust his judgement, but…well, a craftsman never trusted other people with their tools. Whilst the lines were still thin and the ink flowed less consistently than she would have liked, it would serve its purpose for now.

“I can do all of those things.” Natalie’s response to her apprentice’s questions were simple, and she offered them without looking up from her palm. She would pause only when Luuk asked if she could show him, hesitating for just a moment, with the pen hovering a few centimetres above the surface of her skin. After a moment of silent internal debate, Natalie would nod, before walking over to the bed to take a seat next to him.

“We’ll start with reinforcing the door, I think. We probably can’t change much about the door itself without our work being visible from the outside, which would be a dead giveaway. But if we lengthen the screws that are holding the hinges in place, it’ll be much harder for someone to break the door down with brute force.” Natalie started with a simple explanation, whilst she was finishing off the circle that would serve as the base of her spell. The more technical details would follow soon after – she’d take thing slowly, and explain the rationale behind each line she added.

As was the case with most of her instruction. Natalie wasn’t content to simply explain. She did the first set of hinges herself, before passing the pen to Luuk, and instructing him to do the second. He was more likely to remember the details that way, or so she thought. Of course, she’d stay close by to offer assistance – this was no trial by fire, and she was happy to walk him through the process as slowly as necessary.

Once she was confident Luuk’s own spell was satisfactory, Natalie would send him off to use it, before making a quick trip to the bathroom. She’d take a brief moment to wash her hands clean of the ink she had used for their first change, before moving to retake her seat on the edge of the bed. Next, she decided, they’d focus on rewriting the existing locks. That seemed easier than trying to add entirely new ones to the door, and would provide her with a small opportunity to test Luuk’s creativity a little.

“We’ll rewrite the locks next. This time, though, I’m not going to spoon-feed you the answer. Or not the first part, at least. Tell me – what change would you make to the lock’s personal history to get the result we’re after?”

Natalie already had a response in mind, of course. Personally, she would have rewritten the object’s personal history to say that the previous visitor had snapped the key off inside the lock, forcing the owner to change the internal mechanism before he could rent the room out again. She’d be curious to see if Luuk came up with a similar answer, or imagined something else entirely. Either way, this was a skill he’d need to practice if he ever wanted to work this magic on his own.

[Ashen]

While Natalie explained the reasoning behind the magic she was using to reinforce the door, Luuk found himself subconsciously moving towards his backpack, wanting to grab a notebook and fill the pages with more notes that only he would be able to make sense of. But he stopped himself, figuring such a distraction would take away from the task at hand. While a valuable teaching moment for sure, their current task was far too important to risk him messing up just because he wanted to memorize Natalie’s words later. Their very lives depending on him getting this right.

He raised a brow at the offered pen, but he obliged, doing as Natalie had done to alter the second hinge as well. Luuk made the familiar shape in his hand, and he filled it with the lines his mentor had. He checked with her to make sure his work was accurate, then he changed the other hinge just as Natalie had the first. Impressed with himself, he sat to admire his work while Natalie cleaned off her hands.

She returned from the bathroom with more ideas, more ways to protect themselves, more things Luuk itched to write down. But Natalie didn’t take the pen back from his hands; instead, she turned to him with a new task. She wanted him to come up with a way to change the locks. The question took him by surprise, but Luuk quickly shook that off and started thinking of the best options he had. This was a new test, and as always, he wanted to impress his teacher.

Luuk turned his attention to the door, to the keyhole, then fished his room key out of his pocket. He traced its design with his finger, then felt over the hole in the door. He was silent all the while, different ideas flashing through his mind, and he wanted to determine which would keep them safest. Finally, after several minutes of his wordless pondering, Luuk met Natalie’s gaze again. “We change the type of lock,” he announced, words bordering on unconfident. He motioned towards the keyhole. “A combination lock would be too obvious from the outside, of course, and just changing the pins inside this one would be too easy. Plus the master key downstairs might be able to bypass that anyway. So…” He looked at the key in his hand again. “A warded lock,” he said, his voice finding confidence as he put more faith in his answer. “They were common up until thieves started carrying around skeleton keys, in the Middle Ages, but because they’re not popular anymore, I doubt anyone around here would have skeleton keys. Besides, it would look the same on the outside, so who knows how long it would take anyone to even notice anything had been changed anyway?”

The cogs in his brain turning, Luuk spent several more minutes mumbling to himself about the benefits of the now-archaic lock design. Realizing he was rambling, he looked back to his mentor, his cheeks coloring. “Oh, sorry,” he mumbled, “I just mean… What if we change the lock from the inside, so that it looks a bit like a maze? Warded locks were used centuries ago, and they could get really complex depending on how skilled your metalworker was, since you had to shape the metal in such a way that only a specific key would be able to fit in and not hit any of the blocks—the wards—inside. But with magic, we could make something like that, and no one would even notice anything was different until they tried to unlock the door.”

Before she could comment on his ramblings, Luuk grabbed a notebook from his backpack and opened to one of the few yet unmarked pages. He spent a few moments drawing the inside of a warded lock, showing the maze-like intricacies that a modern key would crash against. “So we change the lock to something like this, and we’re safe even from the master key downstairs, since that thing is made for a completely different kind of lock.” He offered the drawing to her. “We’ll have to change our keys, too, but they’d be the only ones able to open the door.”

Glancing down at his key again, he wondered if he was ready for such precise work. He was still new, his magic still inexperienced; would he be able to create something so refined? Casting aside his doubts, Luuk drew a new circle onto his hand, then chose the markings for it. As he did, he explained aloud why he chose what he did, giving Natalie a chance to interject if she thought of any improvements. He quickly realized the complexity of his ideas, and before long his circle was a mess of intersecting lines and shapes that he could no longer make sense of. He excused himself to wash them off, just to start again. Even if he was happy his history studies were coming in handy here, he did wish he didn’t jump to something so difficult. With his second circle slightly better than his first, and his left hand hurting from all the careful drawing, Luuk offered his hand to Natalie so that she could check his work. Once she was satisfied, he’d try to change the lock, hoping it worked. Already tired, he realized he hadn’t even started on the keys yet.

[Namingtoohard]

Now that she had given her young student his first real task, Natalie was content to sit back and try to relax. For the time being, at the very least. She made no attempt to interrupt Luuk’s contemplative silence, perfectly happy to wait and see where his thoughts – and her teachings – led him. without any sort of external help. Natalie tried to maintain the same detached air of a teacher observing an exam, but her success was limited. There was no hiding the small, amused smile that turned up the corners of her mouth as he fished the key from his pocket, and ran his fingers over the lock itself.

Luuk’s first answer was the conclusion she had hoped he would draw, more or less. She couldn’t help but feel a hint of satisfaction at that. There was something gratifying about seeing a student absorb your words, and extract some sort of tangible benefit from them. The second answer he gave, however, was a little more surprising. Luuk dismissed the answer she had been expecting, and opted for something even more complex instead. The boy made a very good point, actually – she hadn’t considered the possibility of a master key bypassing any of the more subtle changes she had planned. Natalie tried to keep her expression under control, lest she give things away too readily. That little spark of extra creativity was a promising sign, however, and she found herself eager to see where his current line of reasoning led them.

When Luuk plucked a notebook from his bad and started to draw, Natalie let her curiosity get the better of her. She rose from her perch and moved as if to join him, so that she might cast a wandering eye over his designs. When it was offered to her, she took it readily, and spent a moment examining Luuk’s design. Truth be told, she didn’t know a great deal about warding locks. Not the full intricacies of how the internal mechanism worked, at the very least. But between Luuk’s rambling and the quick drawing he had presented her with, Natalie found the idea novel. Her mind raced as she tried to come up with the sigil he might use. She had a few ideas, but wouldn’t know for certain until she tested them herself…or watched Luuk do it. Now she had more than one reason to hope that his plan worked.

When Luuk began to work in earnest, Natalie lent him the benefit of her experience. She cast an eye over the designs as he worked, and found his choices rather similar to one of the possibilities she had found herself considering. When he was finished, Natalie thought herself as confident as she could be in an untested design.

“…I think that should do it. Go ahead and give it a try” Natalie offered, gesturing towards the door with one hand. She’d retreat to her previous spot atop one of the beds and settle back into her impromptu seat to watch, quite eager to see how this little experiment of his turned out. They had it close enough to avoid any real disasters, she thought, so there seemed little harm in letting him test out his creation.

When his attempt proved successful, just a few moments later, Natalie was nothing short of delighted. For just a moment, she was able to forget the bleak realities of their current situation, and made no attempt to hide it. The teacher let out a delighted giggle and clapped her hands once, before leaving them clasped together. It wasn’t every day that she got to learn a new trick, experienced as she was. Even more than that, it really did speak to the promise Luuk was showing. That alone wasn’t enough to justify her decision in endangering him, Natalie knew, but at least he would be able to make good use of his gift. It would be just a moment before she moved on to more tangible, more direct methods of praise.

“Oh, well done, Luuk! I’m rather impressed. If I’m being totally honest, I had only expected you to change the brand of lock, so that the old key no longer fit. You’ve gone well and truly beyond what I had imagined. We’ll make a master out of you yet!”

After a moment, Natalie would finally lower her hands. She seemed to relax a little, but the twinkle in her eyes lingered. She’d let the silence stretch again, giving them both a moment to take in Luuk’s new success, before she’d finally move on. His work wasn’t done yet, after all.

“Perhaps we shouldn’t celebrate too soon. You still need to make a key that matches your fancy new lock. It won’t do us any good if we’re trapped in here and need to change it back to get out, right? Still, after what you just managed, I don’t imagine it’ll be too difficult.”

She could have offered to do it herself, of course, but why deprive her student of another chance to practice? Besides, given that her knowledge of warded locks was much more dubious, Natalie wasn’t entirely confident that she could make a matching key. Better to leave this task to the expert, relatively speaking.

[Ashen]

Luuk was warmed by Natalie’s words, and even if he was quickly growing tired from all the brainstorming and drawing, he was filled with a new energy to continue impressing his mentor. Her words sent a pale blush rising to his cheeks, and he turned away to conceal it. He couldn’t hide his smile, however, shy and almost boyish but filled with pride. If Natalie believed he could be a master… Was she just saying that? Luuk exercised the thought anyway. The grad student-turned-mage, rewriting the histories he’d spent so long chasing. He wondered then if his parents would have been proud of him.

He turned back to Natalie when she reminded him there was still more to do. He retrieved his key to the room and stared at it, building up the courage to attempt the next part of his transformation. The lock had been hard enough, with its countless possibilities, but now he had to replicate the wards he’d created perfectly. Even the smallest error in design would keep the key from turning and unlocking the door. He excused himself again to wash the ink from his hands, and when he returned, he was mumbling about how red his hands were. His skin was agitated, and he figured it couldn’t take many more mistakes, so unless he wanted to admit to Natalie he couldn’t do this, he had to get it right.

The new circle was similar to the last, though smaller, and again Luuk dictated what he was doing and why. He was more cautious this time, working slower to mark his lines and measure his angles. When he finished the new design, he showed it to his teacher before setting it into the key. The ridges twisted into a new pattern, a maze of Luuk’s making, and he could only hope it matched the one already in the lock. The test was waiting for him.

“Now we should see how I did,” he said, voice wavering on unconfident again. “Please… Let me in if I fail.” He took the new key and left the room, letting the door close softly behind him. Luuk scanned the hall to ensure no one was watching, then tried the newly formed key into his lock. It caught in the wards, but jiggling it a bit caused the key to turn and the door to open. He let himself back in the room with a wide smile. “I did it,” he breathed, looking down at the key in his hands. Luuk beamed, but his expression fell when he realized they both had keys to the room. He accepted Natalie’s key and, hand sore already, he made the right circle and changed her key too. After they tested that, they could be confident they had a pair of working keys, the only two that could open their door.

Now they could celebrate. “Did you see that?” he said, motioning towards the key in his hands. “I feel like I’m creating my own language or something. It’s crazy. Things are still weird, but they’re starting to make sense.” He met her eye, and for a moment he shied under her gaze. Natalie looked motherly, had that gleam in her expression as if she was truly proud. Luuk had seen that gleam before, had known it well during his studies from his favorite teacher. “You remind me of one of my history professors,” he said with a laugh. “Dr. V. He always believed in me, you know? But he was a man of science. He and I got into tons of arguments about the validity of different cultures’ spiritual and religious customs… I wonder what he would think of all this.” Luuk dismissed the thought with a wave. “That’s not so important now,” he said, more to himself than to Natalie. “I think we should be safe for now.”

He plopped down onto his bed and rested his head on the pillow. The exhaustion was starting to claim him, but an anxious part of him wanted to stay up, wanted to make sure nothing would happen to them. He didn’t know which side would win out. There were still so many questions he had for Natalie, but now wasn’t the time. Tomorrow, he decided. Tomorrow they could come up with a game plan, and he could find out more about what was going on. “Get some rest,” he suggested, voice a sleepy pitch. It was early yet, but time hardly seemed to matter anymore. They needed to be rested, in case someone found them, in case they had to think quickly, in case they needed to find a way to survive.

[Namingtoohard]

Just like the first time, Natalie was patient as her student ran through the motions again, moving off to wash his hands. She knew the struggles of their craft better than anyone else alive, and was pointedly aware that Luuk was technically still a novice, even if his rapidly-growing skill suggested otherwise. He showed a great deal of promise, but experience mattered just as much as talent, by all counts. That was half the reason she was having him practice now, whilst they had the opportunity. The other half? Well…after the events of that day, she thought they could both use a little bit of a distraction.

Natalie watched on and listened in with the same casual focus as Luuk began constructing his second sigil of the evening. She felt a little less useful this time, however. Her lack of knowledge surrounding warded locks in general, and the shape of the wards Luuk had already made, meant that she could really only offer technical expertise. Still, she was confident that he would succeed. In Natalie’s opinion, this would be the easier of his two tasks tonight, and he had managed the first without any real difficulty.

When Luuk eventually declared himself finished, Natalie nodded in agreement with his proposed plan. The idea of leaving him trapped outside was amusing enough to make her chuckle, but she never would have followed through with it. In another time, perhaps. Given their current circumstances, however, she wouldn’t dream of leaving him locked outside, just in case. She stayed put as Luuk let himself out, and pulled the door closed behind him. She waited with baited breath to see if her student would be able to let himself back in, or if she would need to go and rescue him. And when he succeeded, her excitement almost rivalled his own.

“I saw” Natalie offered in answer to Luuk’s outpouring; a lacklustre response, perhaps, but she wanted to let him enjoy his moment of triumph. Despite her short words, however, there was no mistaking the glimmer of pride in Natalie’s eyes. It had lingered after his first success, and only grown in strength now, after the second. Seeing her student grow brought about a sense of satisfaction stronger than she had expected. Was this how her teachers had felt, every time she had mastered a new skill? Perhaps, in another time, she might have become one of them herself. What a novel thought.

Once his excitement faded, their discussion turned to more practical matters again. Luuk’s suggestion that they get some rest was well-timed, but Natalie still had a little more work to do first. “We still have to sort out the windows, but I’ll do that myself. You’ve impressed me enough for one night, and I feel the need to practice a little bit too, now” she answered, smiling toothily. “You go ahead and start winding down if you like. I’ll join you in just a moment.”

Moving with the calm grace lent by clear purpose, Natalie claimed the pen for herself, and quickly set to work. It wasn’t long before she’d finished constructing her own circle, and she applied it to the window’s frame with the same no-nonsense approach. When she stepped away, the window bore not just its original key-lock, but a more traditional latch. The sort that could only be opened from the inside. That done, she’d set about getting ready for bed herself. A quick trip to the bathroom left her with clean hands again, and she’d quickly flick off the lights as she passed. From there, it was a simple matter of finding her bed in the dark and crawling into it. Easier said than done in an unfamiliar room, but by no means difficult.

Natalie slept poorly that night. A fact that was altogether unsurprising, considering the events of the previous day, and her own personal history of bad dreams. She woke with a start and bolted upright quickly, before finally remembering where they were, and why. A quick glance at the curtains was enough for her to tell that the sun was only just starting to peek over the horizon, and had only just begun to beat back the night’s chill darkness. A similar look across at the other bed revealed a mostly shapeless form buried under the covers, suggesting that Luuk was still asleep.

Not wanting to wake him, Natalie did her best to be quiet as she rose. Fully aware that she wouldn’t be getting any more sleep before it was time to be about their business, she decided to leave Luuk with some peace and quiet, and seek out breakfast instead. Without bothering to change, she claimed her key and slipped out of the room without bothering to change.

She’d return a little bit later, with a steaming hot cup of coffee in each hand, and a small paper bag tucked under one arm. Natalie would push the door open with her hip and peer inside, trying to gauge whether or not her young charge was still asleep.

[Ashen]

Even with Natalie’s permission to get ready for bed and leave the windows to her, Luuk couldn’t sit by idly. He sat in bed but kept an eye on what she was doing, watching from a distance as she crafted her circle, silently guessing at the lines she used. He’d done a lot today, but he didn’t have the luxury of laziness anymore. The more he learned, and the quicker, the better. The more chances he had to save them, if it came down to that, much as he hoped it didn’t. Once Natalie finished, he could breathe a little easier knowing they were protected in the anonymity of their room.

Luuk debated washing the rest of the ink from his hands and arms, but after all the scrubbing earlier, he thought it better to give his skin a rest and try to get it all off tomorrow. He picked up one of the bags he’d brought and sifted through the various pockets before realizing he’d forgotten to bring a toothbrush. It was such a trivial thing, but it served as a stark reminder of the danger they were in, the life they now had. He plopped down on his bed, and, thoughts still racing, he closed his eyes and tried to shut out the rest of the world.

He had little success. As much as Luuk tried, he couldn’t silence his thoughts, and as he lay there, he figured sleep had abandoned him for the night. He was drowning in all his doubts, the uncertainty about the future. He wanted nothing more than to will it all away, convince himself he had some test to study for, some project to do, and that he’d march right back to campus for another semester, another year, not a child but certainly not yet an adult, and especially not a fugitive. But that life was gone, and now, he was trusting his life to the stranger who had endangered him, who had promised him a world of knowledge he’d never known. He was a fool for following her, absolutely, but what did that matter now? Now he had to deal with the consequences of his curiosity, deal with the people who wanted him dead, and learn more about the magic that had always been within him.

He eventually did sleep, but his dreams were no more peaceful than his conscious thoughts. Faces flashed through his mind: his foster parents, his roommate, his friends, his professors; all the people he may never see again. They surrounded him, each wielding a gun like the man from before, each smiling a wide, Cheshire smile. Try as he might have, there was nothing Luuk could do to get his body to move.

He woke with a start, eyes wildly scanning the room in search of even a drop of familiarity. Natalie was missing, and immediately he thought the worst. They had found her, in the middle of the night, and not wanting to endanger Luuk further, she had left silently and alone. Luuk shook his head, scolding himself. She wouldn’t just leave him like that, not without warning, and besides, he doubted he would have been able to sleep through such a thing anyway. But the paranoia settled in his throat, and he grabbed for his phone to search the site of every local news company for her name, just in case.

Though Natalie wasn’t gone long, the minutes stretched towards eternity. When the doorknob began to turn, Luuk looked up, panic settling across his face. It was one of them, one of the people who wanted him dead; what could he do? He had his shoddy magic, but where had he left his pen? Did he have a blade of some sort? There was the plastic fork from last night’s supper still in the trash, greasy and hard to use; would that work? But when he saw Natalie enter the room, his thoughts faded, and he let out a breath. He could have laughed at himself under different circumstances. “Hi,” he mumbled, trying to work the worry out of his voice. Noticing the things in her hands, he got up to help her. He set the cupholder on the nightstand between their beds. “Is this for me?” he asked, pointing to one of the two cups. “You didn’t have to. Thank you.”

Heart still hammering over the scare, Luuk took one of the coffee cups and let it settle between his hands, warming his palms. Natalie had just gone out for breakfast? There was no harm in that, of course, and it wasn’t his place to scold her, but a part of him thought of the dangers, the people who could have seen her, who could have followed her back to this room… You’re being paranoid, Luuk told himself, trying hard to dismiss the thoughts. Besides, you need to eat.

The coffee was hot down his throat, but it was a welcome warmth. “Have you been awake long?” he asked, trying to make small talk to distract himself from his thoughts. After the exhaustion of yesterday, he imagined they would have both fallen asleep instantly, but maybe Natalie had had trouble sleeping as well. “I didn’t see anything on the news,” he said, motioning to his phone. Though it was still early. There was plenty of time for people to find out about them, and then what? Luuk shook his head, willing the negativity away. “What’s in the bag?”

[Namingtoohard]

Natalie did her best to stay quiet as she peered into their room, but her efforts were quickly proven redundant. Luuk’s voice greeted her almost immediately, rendering any attempts at stealth pointless. A part of her was relieved – not because she was concerned that something had happened to him during her absence, but because it meant she wouldn’t have to tiptoe about and risk waking him. Without any further pomp, Natalie pushed her way into the room with her hip, before nudging the door closed behind her. Once she heard the latch click into place, Natalie took a few steps towards Luuk's bed. She quickly passed the cupholder off into his hands when he met her halfway, grateful for the assistance.

“I wasn’t sure how you normally like your coffee, so I just got you a cappuccino. Hope that’s alright. There’s some sugar packets there too, if you need them” Natalie offered idly, by the way of an answer. Naturally, she had ordered an espresso for herself, given how poorly she had slept. Now that her hands were free, she made the short journey back towards the closed door, and quickly slipped the lock into place; something she’d been unable to do the first time. An unspoken reminder of the danger they were currently in, albeit a subtle one.

With the most pressing matters taken care of, Natalie helped herself to a seat atop her own bed, still messy from the previous night, and set about nursing her own coffee. She’d help herself to that delightful first sip, already anticipating the blissful moment when the caffeine would first kick in, and begin to lift the veil of drowsiness from her mind. They had a lot to do today, but Natalie wasn’t willing to start until she was feeling at least partially awake. Her next answer didn’t come until she had lowered her cup again, albeit temporarily.

“Breakfast. I already ate mine outside.” Natalie’s answer was accompanied by a casual toss of the brown paper bag, which sent it sailing over the small gap between their beds, to land amongst Luuk's tangled sheets. When her student looked inside, he’d find a single ham and cheese croissant, still warm, and a handful of napkins. It was a pitiful meal, all things considered, but it was the best Natalie had been able to manage with the loose change she’d had on hand. They’d start eating a little better once she got access to her accounts again, fate permitting. Today’s first real order of business.

“I’ve been up for…longer than I care to admit. Last night was rough” Natalie admitted, after a moment of silence, and another sip of coffee. She didn’t dwell on the thought for long, though. Instead, she decided to rush ahead, and on to matters that she deemed more important. Hopefully Luuk would consider their current circumstances and the events of the previous day to be explanation enough, and wouldn’t push for too much more information. She wasn't sure how much more she was ready to admit, much less how much he was read to hear.

“As soon as I’m done with my coffee, I’m going to head to the bank. See if I can’t convince some clueless teller that I lost my purse, and get access to my accounts again. After that, it’ll be time for some shopping. I’ll try and get my hands on some of the essentials we were forced to leave behind” Natalie offered. A summary of her plans for the day…or the earlier parts of it, at the very least. Yet another sip of coffee followed, before she’d continue. “You’re free to tag along, if you like, but it probably won’t be the most exciting trip.”

[Ashen]

The breakfast was graciously accepted with an enthusiastic thank-you as Luuk grabbed the wrapped sandwich from the bag. Grease had leaked through the wrapped to coat his fingers, and he absently dabbed at it with a napkin. What was an unhealthy and undesirable meal to Natalie was a normal breakfast to the former university student, and even if he didn’t feel very up to eating, he was happy to have something in his stomach.

She didn’t seem very happy, and he couldn’t blame her. Though he appreciated the honesty of her answer, Luuk frowned at the implication that she had slept just as poorly as he had, or worse. A part of him wanted to ask if she wanted to talk about it, but he had a feeling it wouldn’t help, that it would make her uncomfortable like all the other things they still had to talk about, and besides, what good would her sharing her worries be if they only made his worse? So he sat awkwardly wondering what he should do, what he could say, to make things the smallest bit better. When he came up with nothing, he remained silent, idly picking at his croissant.

Talk of leaving their room made him no more comfortable. Luuk shifted, wondering if it was safe to go to the bank, and when it would be safe to return to Natalie’s place so that she didn’t have to pretend to be someone she was not. She was much more collected about the idea, but then, she had done this before, had likely had to lie to a lot of people… The thought unnerved him, and he tried to dismiss it. At least having access to her bank accounts would help them to survive, or at the very least live on more than greasy fast food. He considered going with her, then remembered the man who had threatened them, who would be looking for them both. Besides, he tried to reason with himself, Natalie would have a better chance convincing people she was down on her luck if she went in by herself, right? “I think I should stay here,” he said, “you know, take care of a few things.” Even as he spoke, he was trying to reason with himself that he would be safe alone, too.

When he finished his breakfast, Luuk wiped his fingers with his remaining napkins and glanced at his phone. He had several missed notifications, including messages and calls from people he wasn’t allowed to tell the truth. One message, from his roommate, asked after his whereabouts, and though Luuk appreciated the first year’s concern, he resented the student’s inopportune timing in taking an interest in his schedule. He had a missed call and a voicemail from his mother, which gave him pause. Karen rarely called him, and seeing her name on his screen sent a new wave of panic crashing through his body.

He looked up then, finding Natalie with his gaze, and coughed awkwardly. “Right,” he mumbled, “I’m going to take a shower. You don’t have to wait for me.” After he’d thrown out the now-empty bag and coffee cup, he selected an outfit for himself from the bag he’d brought. He was careful to pick something simple, dark; even if he was being paranoid, adhering to the strange fashion rules his anxiety supplied at least made him feel better. Then, with a nod goodbye to Natalie, he stepped into the bathroom.

The water never did get hot. He knew he wasn’t staying in a fancy hotel, but still, the lack of a common commodity irked him. Eventually the water settled at a lukewarm temperature, and he let it wash over his skin. The motel-provided soap was small and smelled of nothing, and Luuk found himself missing the cheap soap he’d always bought, with the light scent he’d never quite noticed before now. He finished his shower and emerged from the bathroom to find Natalie gone. Luuk dressed quickly, then looked at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He looked as exhausted as he felt, dark rings settled around his eyes deeper than they’d ever been, even after the many late-night study sessions he’d had. He suddenly resented the pale color of his hair, too blonde to camouflage well, but he soon ridiculed himself at the thought. He wasn’t a spy; he didn’t need to blend in with his surroundings as if he were in some strange espionage movie. Still, the thought wavered, and he wondered if his sticking out would be the difference between life and death.

It took several minutes for Luuk to find the confidence to leave the room. He reached for the doorknob and, deciding against it, sat back down on his bed and again scrolled through the notifications on his phone. He listened to the voicemail his mother left him. She had only been calling about a question regarding his graduation, but the worry was clear in her voice as she asked Luuk why he hadn’t picked up, if everything was okay, and to call us when you get the chance. We love you. He couldn’t dream of telling her the truth, of making that concern worse. Though it ached to do so, Luuk dismissed the voicemail and cleared out the rest of his notifications. Heart heavy, he finally left the room, not at all ready to face the world again.

Luuk hadn’t set out with a destination in mind, and he didn’t even know why he was leaving the safety of his room, but a part of him needed to be free, to convince himself that he was not already confined in a cell of his own making. The train was filled with strangers turned criminals, and as the elderly woman reached into her purse for a tissue, Luuk braced himself for the gunshots. He was suspicious of everyone now, even the familiar man at the train station who greeted him and knew him by name. Once off the train, he quickly made his way through campus, to his dorms, where he lingered outside his door, listening for any sound of his roommate. Finding none, he let himself in and, overwhelmed to be faced with the life he could no longer have, he collapsed on the floor.

He left his dorm with a bag thrown over his shoulder and tried to convince himself he did not look like he was looting his own room. On the way back through campus, he heard a familiar voice call out to him. He turned to find his history professor, coffee cup in hand and brow arched.

“Are you alright, Luuk?” Dr. Vetere often knew what was bothering Luuk before he did, but the former student now did not know how to answer.

“I’m just getting things ready to go,” Luuk supplied, a forced smile across his lips.

Dr. Vetere glanced towards where Luuk was headed. “Your mother isn’t helping you move out?”

Luuk shifted. “I’m going somewhere else for a little bit. Staying with a friend. Trying to take what I can by foot, you know?”

The answer didn’t seem to satisfy the professor, but he nodded anyway. “Well, I’ll see you at graduation, Luuk.”

“Yes,” Luuk said all too quickly, and he continued away, trying to hide the drumming in his chest.

He arrived back at the motel without incident, and he stocked the bathroom with his soaps, grasping for whatever normalcy he could get. He set a box of crackers between his bed and Natalie’s, the only snacks he had had in his dorm that were not stale. Finally, as he sat back down on his bed, he realized with dread that he had not yet heard from Natalie, and he sent her a text to make sure nothing had happened. That she was still alive. Completely forgetting she did not even have her phone.

[Namingtoohard]

Natalie nodded her mute agreement when Luuk decided he would stay behind. She wasn’t entirely sure what other business he had to attend to, but quickly decided against prying. Despite the fact that Luuk was her student, despite the burden of responsibility she felt, despite her need to keep him safe, he was technically an adult, and entitled to his own privacy. Natalie’s manipulation had gotten him into this mess; she owed him a great deal more than a little bit of freedom. A part of her wanted to stay close, so that she would be close enough to help if something else went wrong, but…well, she couldn’t really guarantee that where she was going was any safer, either.

“Alright. I guess I’ll see you later this afternoon, then.” Without any further ado, Natalie slipped out the door and was gone, into the biting wind beyond. While she walked out towards the street, she made a point of tapping all her pockets idly, as if to check she had all the necessities with her. It was only after confirming she still had her key that Natalie remembered that she had lost both her phone and wallet in the incident at her apartment, and hunting down replacements was one of her main priorities today. Feeling slightly foolish, she shoved her hands into her pockets and made her way out into the street beyond.

Her trip towards the nearest bank was short, but uncomfortable. The fading morning chill had been replaced by an uncomfortably sharp breeze, which seemed to cut through her limited wardrobe with little effort. The morning sun provided little in the way of relief, and left Natalie shivering rather quickly. Even so, that was only the lesser part of her discomfort. The empty streets left Natalie feeling rather exposed, and she was unable to shake the feeling that she were being watched. She suspected that it was just the overzealous imagination of an anxious mind, but that knowledge did little to soothe her concerns. At least the cold gave her an excuse to keep her head down, and avoid meeting anyone’s eye.

The bank, when she finally arrived, felt like an oasis in the middle of a frozen desert. As soon as Natalie stepped through the automatic door out front, she was enveloped by warmth. The bland two-tone carpet and beige walls were a lesson in conformity, and she couldn’t hear anything louder than the clacking of keyboards and the muted whispers of private conversation. It was almost entirely empty, aside from the staff, and seemed to radiate tranquillity. Natalie allowed herself a moment to catch her breath, before finally approaching the nearest free teller.

What happened next was, without a doubt, one of the quietest arguments Natalie had ever experienced in her life. Their discussion started off civil, but things quickly escalated when the lady behind the desk kept trying to insist she was unable to help unless Natalie was able to produce her I.D or bank card. Natalie lost track of how many times she had to repeat the fact she had lost both her wallet and phone, and couldn’t go and get a replacement license without withdrawing money first. The teller’s tone was never anything less than polite, but her pointed gaze and forced smile made it clear how annoying Natalie’s repeated insistence was becoming. Natalie, by contrast, kept her voice low, if only to avoid drawing attention, but made no attempt to hide her growing displeasure.

The issue was resolved only when the teller was fed up enough to pass the issue on to her manager. After a little more debate, he reluctantly accepted the slew of private details Natalie offered up as proof that her story was genuine, and reluctantly issued her with a replacement. It had been close to an hour by the time Natalie was finally able to leave the bank behind, but she could take some small solace in the fact that she had overcome the day’s first real hurdle.

At this point, Natalie’s real concern was if the people hunting them would be able to track her now. She didn’t know how far their operational reach extended. Would they be able to access transaction history, or pull the security footage from the cameras of the various places she visited? It sounded like a stretch, but if it were possible, those sorts of records would make it easy for them to find her again. Every purchase she made would be like an arrow on their map, pointing directly to her. It was a worrying concept, but Natalie quickly pushed the thought from her mind. They didn’t really have any other choices – neither of them could go without food, or clothes, and they’d need a great deal more help than that if they were to find a way out of this mess. She’d simply have to take the risk and hope for the best…or that they would be able to overcome the consequences, when they did come.

Natalie made her way to the nearest phone store next. Now that she had money, the next transaction would hopefully go a lot smoother. It wasn’t long until she walked back out again with a cheap burner phone, complete with prepaid sim card. She went for the essentials next – some groceries, writing tools that they could use for their magic, and a few changes of clothes for herself. She briefly contemplated buying some for Luuk too, but quickly dismissed the thought. He’d managed to bring a few sets from his dorm, surely, and she could only make a rough guess as to his sizes.

It was only later that evening, after Natalie had bought everything she had been able to think of, that she finally headed for home. The going was slower this time, now that she was carrying several very full shopping bags. Even so, she couldn’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction. She had managed to get everything she had wanted, and nothing had gone wrong. Not so far, at the very least. So long as Luuk was okay, then she’d consider the day well-spent. Even the wind was unable to dampen her good mood. Perhaps things weren’t as bad as-

Is he following me?

The thought struck Natalie like a thunderbolt, when she was just around the corner from their motel. Yes, now that she thought about it, she was almost certain that she had glimpsed the same man wandering around in her general vicinity several times today. Was he one of them? Was she leading him back to Luuk right now? The mere suggestion was enough to make her break out in a cold sweat. She kept walking, trying to act natural, whilst her mind scrambled for a solution. Or, at the very least, a way to confirm her suspicions. On little more than a whim, she decided to keep walking straight past their motel. Several tense seconds and metres later, she decided to do a lap of the block, and circle back around the way she had come. That way, the man wouldn’t have any justifiable reason to follow her. If he kept tailing her then, she’d know something was up.

She turned the first corner, and resisted the urge to look back over her shoulder. She turned the second, and finally risked a glance. She caught sight of the man, wandering down the sidewalk, staring at his phone. He had headphones in, and didn’t raise his eyes, but that all could be part of his cover. She turned the third, and…he kept walking straight. The man looked up just long enough to make sure that there were no cars coming and crossed the road, his path finally taking him in another direction. Natalie did her best to avoid staring as she watched him go, and was finally able to relax once he was out of sight. She let out a tense breath, before a chuckle slipped from her lips. A laugh of relief, and gentle self-mockery. Chiding herself for being so jumpy, she finally turned around and headed back to the motel good and proper.

Getting in the front door proved a slight challenge, with her hands full with the bags. Natalie was forced to set them down for a moment, so that she could spend a moment rummaging through her now-full pockets. Once she’d managed to unlock the door, she tucked the key away, pushed it open, and moved to reclaim her bags. Only then, once she turned around and stepped over the threshold, did she catch sight of Luuk. A smile flickered over her face at the sight.

“I think I got everything we needed” she offered by the way of greeting. Natalie was, of course, totally oblivious to the fact that he had been waiting, and she had never gotten his text. She took a few steps over towards the bed and dumped her shopping bags down atop it, before taking a moment to shake her arms out. “I got everything I could think of, at the very least. Come, have a look. Maybe you’ll remember something I forgot.”

[Ashen]

The minutes ticked by ever so slowly, and Luuk struggled to focus on anything other than Natalie’s silence. He kept watching his phone, waiting for her name to poop up on his screen. As a distraction, he tried scrolling through social media, viewing all the updates on people he could not yet reach out to. Some of his classmates were already posting graduation photos taken around campus, early to avoid the traffic of the rest of their class. Seeing all the smiling faces and graduation caps sent a sadness clutching to his chest. His graduation, his accolades; would they matter now? How long would they spend here? Long enough to become someone new? Luuk tried to think of the overwhelming list of things he would have to say goodbye to if he had to adopt a new identity, and when his hands started trembling, he tossed his phone away from him on the bed. Then, remembering Natalie, he reached for it again to check if she had responded.

He got up to start pacing. “Well,” he said to himself, hating the silence permeating the room, “you could practice your magic. Make yourself useful.” He found a rock playlist online to drown out his frantic thoughts, and he retrieved the pen he and Natalie had used the day before. Then, Luuk spent several minutes drawing different circles onto his arm before realizing he needed something to change, an object for his magic to act on. He looked around the room for something simple enough that he could change without Natalie’s help when he heard the lock in the door shift.

Luuk was alert in an instant, pen extended in front of him as if it were a weapon, watching to see who came through the door. When he saw Natalie, his whole body visibly relaxed. She had come with bags, and he started towards the door to help her. “Why didn’t you reply?” he said, accusatory without meaning to be, but one look in her eye reminded him of yesterday, of what had happened, of how she’d had to leave her phone at home. She had never even gotten his text. All his worrying, his paranoia at what had happened to her; Luuk could have laughed at himself if he felt up to laughing. He shook his head dismissively and mumbled a simple, “Never mind.”

She had brought many things, and Luuk wondered how she was able to carry it all without falling over. Curious, he peered into one and found some shirts, likely in Natalie’s size. In the frenzy of the past twenty-four hours, it hadn’t even occurred to him that Natalie had nothing else to wear, while he had a whole bag full of clothes he could have shared. He suddenly felt bad at not offering her at least a hoodie to sleep in. She had also bought food, things easy enough to make without a full kitchen. Luuk wanted to repay her, to cover half the expenses he was making, but he didn’t know how to offer, and he knew she would say no anyway. So he swallowed the thought, brought her new clothes over to her bad, and remarked, “Looks like you were able to get your bank stuff settled. Good. I think… I think you got plenty, yeah. Thank you.”

His attention was pulled to the plastic bag sitting by his bed, the one he’d brought from his dorm, and Luuk hesitated. “I went back,” he admitted quietly, intentionally vague even though he knew Natalie would know what he meant. “I… hated this place’s soap, so I went and got my own. I didn’t stay long. No one saw me.” He hesitated. “Except for one of my professors, the one I told you about? He seemed concerned, but I… I couldn’t tell him anything.” Luuk didn’t know why he wanted to tell her that, but he felt it important enough to mention. Looking back over the room, with all its new contents, it was starting to feel more real. They really were preparing to spend a long while here. Luuk swallowed the complaints he had, shook his head clear, and turned his attention back to Natalie. “So,” he said, “can I help you unpack?”

[Namingtoohard]

Once Luuk confirmed that she hadn’t forgotten anything blatantly obvious, Natalie finally felt as if she were able to relax. After the ‘close encounter’ she had just experienced, the teacher didn’t particularly feel like making a second trip to the shops to pick up anything she had forgotten. Quite the opposite, really. Natalie felt as if her nerves had been scraped raw by her own paranoia, and even the knowledge that it had been a false alarm wasn’t quite enough to soothe her. Not completely. Nothing delighted her more than the idea of a quiet night in, passed without any further incidents. A single glance at Luuk – at the circles he had painted on his arm – seemed to suggest that he felt the same way, and she was rather looking forward to joining him in practicing.

With the matter settled, Natalie quickly set about sorting through her bag’s contents. She made a show of putting away everything she could, in the few places that their sparse rooms allowed. She tucked clothes into the wardrobe and pens into the bedsides tables, moving with the steady efficiency of somebody with nothing better to do. Her work came to a halt only when Luuk spoke up next, causing the woman to hesitate. She…wasn’t sure how she felt about the idea of a return trip, honestly. If their aggressors knew they had escaped, they were probably watching Luuk’s rooms to see if he returned. Was there a chance he had led them back here, in much the same way she had feared doing just a few moments ago? After a few seconds, however, she quickly decided against voicing such thoughts. They had no way of knowing regardless, and there was no point stressing him out about something neither of them could change. She’d just have to count the blessings they did have, and hope for the best.

“As long as you didn’t let anything important slip, then I guess there’s no point worrying. Now, why don’t you see if you can’t find some place to put these box meals?”

The rest of that night was entirely uneventful, thankfully, as were the next couple of days. It wasn’t long before Natalie felt like the two of them had gotten used to living together, and had fallen into a rhythm of sorts. An informal routine that lent their unfortunate situation an unexpected feeling of consistency and normalcy. One that felt totally at odds with their current situation whenever she stopped to consider it. Natalie began to feel comfortable there, almost, in that cheap little motel room.

Still, Natalie knew that staying put for much longer wasn’t a good idea. The two of them would be safer if they kept moving around, even if she wasn’t certain where else they would go just yet. Another shabby motel on the other side of town, if worse came to worse, and they didn’t come up with a better plan beforehand. And so, it was with a measure of reluctance that she informed both Luuk and the motel’s owner that the next night here would be their last.

The two of them were up bright and early the next day. Not by choice, but so that they had time to eat breakfast and pack before the motel’s outrageously early check-out time. Natalie knew that sort of thing was the industry standard, but that knowledge did little to flush the grit from her eyes, or wash the heaviness from her limbs. Even so, as best as she could tell, they were ready to go. She’d double-checked that they had packed everything they would need, and that they’d transformed all of the room’s locks back into their original forms. There was nothing left to hint at their passing, aside from their names in the ledger.

With approximately ten minutes left until they had to vacate the room, Natalie sat atop her now-former bed, with her packed bag sitting next to her. Her hands fiddled with her burner phone idly whilst she stared off into space, contemplating – and dreading -the one task she was yet to complete. One that she should have done days ago, but had kept putting off. Natalie had tried to justify the delay with excuses about how it was safer this way, left until the last possible moment before they left this room behind forever. Now there was nothing holding her back, and still she hesitated. There was no more excuses she could use to justify her fear. Her only remaining option was to confront it.

She took a deep breath, as if to steady herself, and hit the dial button.

Natalie listened to the phone ring for several long seconds. The longer it went on, the more she began to hope that the other person wasn’t going to answer. Her hopes were dashed at the very last moment, just before the call timed out. The ringing ceased, and was quickly replaced with the same distorted voice that she had come to dread.

“Natalie. I was wondering if we’d be hearing from you any time soon.” Both strange and familiar at once, the scrambled tone never ceased to make the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. Natalie suddenly found that her mouth was incredibly dry, and she had to force herself to swallow before she spoke.

“You were the one who sent them after me, then.”

“Who else?” The voice sounded amused, somehow, despite the strange disguising effects. When she failed to answer, it continued. “We had an arrangement. You broke it. Did you really think there wouldn’t be consequences?”

“Frankly, I didn’t expect you to notice.”

“How much more insolent you’ve become, now that the gloves are off.” A pause. “We’re prepared to offer you a deal, Natalie. Turn yourself over to us, and we’ll let your new apprentice live. He can serve as your replacement. Continue your work, with the same restrictions.

That caught Natalie slightly off-guard, and she hesitated briefly as she considered the offer. If she had a chance to give Luuk his life back, then didn’t she owe him that much? She’d be able to repay her debt to him, and receive fair penance for the atrocities she had committed, in one fell swoop. Even so, a part of her mind protested. Luuk wasn’t ready for that sort of work yet, and hopefully never would be. It wouldn’t be fair for her to condemn him to a life working to fix her mistakes. Besides, how did she know that these people would keep their word? Either way, she needed to buy herself some time to think.

“He’s not ready to work on his own.”

“He’s a smart guy. He’ll figure it out. Or you can keep trying to teach him, I suppose, and pray that you both live that long.”

“I…I’ll think about it.”

“When you decide to do the smart thing, you know how to get in touch.”

The line went dead, and Natalie let the phone fall away from her ear. That…hadn’t gone anything like she’d been expecting, and now she had a great deal to think about. At least the call had served its purpose, and confirmed some of her suspicions. She’d sort the rest our later, once she had more time to think. For now, they had to get going. She rose to her feet and tossed the burner phone into the waste basket, before shouldering her bag. Without any further ado, Natalie slipped from the room, locked the door behind her, and started making her way to reception.

[Ashen]

Admittedly, living with Natalie had been weird. It reminded him of living with his mother, though in much more cramped quarters, and Luuk often felt that he was in the way of her living her life. They had quickly fallen into a routine, and though the tension in their room was always high, Luuk had learned to ignore it, at least for the most part. He made very few trips outside, and instead he spent most of his time practicing his magic, or reading, or even doodling in the blank spaces of his notebook. He found he no longer had the attention span for things he used to do: his video games made him jumpy, his shows made him antsy, and even browsing social media left him with a deep sense of dread. He had had to silence his phone, opting to stay ignorant of the people concerned about him. He didn’t know what to say to them, or when he would get a chance to explain, and he thought for now it was better that everyone be left in the dark.

When Natalie announced to him that they’d have to move again, Luuk accepted the news in silence. Again he had to pack up his life and pretend he had never been here at all. He hoped this would not become a part of their routine, but he couldn’t cope. They were wanted, and they were safe nowhere. As Luuk packed, he considered the possibility of their enemies finding them while they were moving, but he tried to swallow the thought. Worry about unlikely scenarios would only make him more paranoid, more obvious to any onlookers. He shoved his thoughts to the back of his mind.

On the morning of their move, Luuk and Natalie woke up all too early to be out by the time they were expected to be. Luuk tried hard to wash the bags from under his eyes, then glanced around the room they were leaving. Their magic had already been undone, their bags packed. He tossed a bag over his shoulder, juggled others between his hands, and with everything set, he shuffled down to reception. Even though he’d triple checked that they’d left nothing, he let Natalie investigate for herself.

While waiting for her, he finally dared to check his phone. He hadn’t turned it on since charging it last night, in case anything happened he told himself. Familiar logos flashed across his screen upon startup, and when thy fell away, he flinched at the notifications pouring in. His inboxes were brimming with new emails, texts, missed calls, and voicemails. For the first time in his life, he was popular, and he might have laughed if the notifications weren’t overwhelming him. He cleared away what notifications he could, sifted through the news—a habit he had picked up over these last few days—and, when he was starting to wonder what was taking Natalie so long, he looked up to find her walking towards him, finally ready to go.

She had yet to tell him the truth about all this. Luuk had been waiting for it, waiting to return to the conversation they had abandoned that day, but Natalie hadn’t breached the subject, and he didn’t dare put her on the spot again. He felt like a dog being dragged around, obedient but not understanding. He knew Natalie was just as stressed as he was, and adding to that would only bring them both closer to cracking under the pressure. But his heart ached with the loss of his life, his freedom, and the start of this new path he did not understand. Maybe, he hoped, in their next motel, in their next room, Natalie would be comfortable enough to offer an explanation.

They made their journey quietly, Luuk’s thoughts too much of a whirlwind to have a proper conversation. He was wary of all the people they passed on the way to their new place, and he resented himself for it. They arrived at their motel, checked in, and went up to their room to put their bags down. Luuk took both keys and instantly got to work changing the locks. This, too, would be part of their routine, but as he set the new wards, he hoped he would not have to do this again.

Once the room was reinforced with the power of their joint magic, Luuk fell into one of the beds. He had been eerily quiet today, too lost in thoughts he did not know how to express. He dared a glance towards Natalie, trying to determine how she was handling their move, but her expression gave little away. He hesitated, then asked, voice small, “Can you teach me magic I can use as a weapon?” He looked to the door, as if someone in the hall outside would be able to overhear his whispers. “Just… you know, in case. I wouldn’t have to use it, of course, because we’re safe here.” Hs confidence wavered; he didn’t believe what he was saying. “I’d just like to know how to defend us, if we needed it.”

He knew he still had a lot to learn. Though he had had little else to do these past days but practice, he knew Natalie held years, decades of experience over him, and he wanted to learn as much as he could from her while he was still able. He didn’t know when he would have to use it against someone, but the idea wasn’t as farfetched as it once had been. He even wondered if perhaps he’d have to use his magic against his teacher, though guilt clutched his throat at the thought. His gaze fell to the floor. “We can do it later,” he suggested, realizing he should have given her some time to wind down. He had plenty to put away in the meantime, though his hands instead reached for his backpack, for the notebooks tucked away, eager to keep practicing.

[Namingtoohard]

With no better ideas, it wasn’t long before the two of them decided to just head to another motel for the time being. The second trip passed in similar fashion to the first. The whir of the ticket machines and platform safety announcements. The clanking and rumbling of train carriages, and the murmur of gentle conversation. Subtle glances at strangers and the shuffling of feet. The conductor’s voice, scrambled beyond comprehension by terrible speakers, and the screech of breaks. Anxiety, tension, awkwardness and fear. Natalie could only pray that neither of them had cause to get used to these trips any time soon. That they came up with a solution sometime soon.

Checking in at the motel went much more smoothly this time, now that Natalie had access to her own savings again. The proceedings felt like a formality, almost, and it wasn’t long before Natalie and Luuk slipped into their room, keys in hand. Their new accommodations felt depressingly similar to the previous ones. Oh, the styles were different, certainly, but that was about all that had changed. The layout was in that same, familiar pattern that all bottom-rung motels seemed to share. Natalie took one glance around the room and immediately suspected that she knew exactly where everything was kept, even without looking. Still, there was nothing to be done about it. She dumped her bag, dug out a marker, and quickly set about helping Luuk fortify their room, in much the same manner as before.

Once they had finished preparing, Natalie disappeared into the bathroom for a brief moment, just to wash the ink off her hands. Not one to remain idle for long, she set about unpacking almost immediately after she returned. At least, until Luuk broke his uncharacteristic silence, and asked his next question. She froze, a folded jacket still cupped in her hands. She stayed silent, her gaze distant, as Luuk continued to speak, and she considered how best to respond.

She absolutely despised the idea of their magic turned towards such dark purposes. That this force they commanded, so often used for creation and rebirth, might instead be twisted towards destruction and death. Such spells did exist, of course- she had used one herself recently, to get them out of trouble when they were attacked at her old apartment. Even so, she was loathe to share them with her student. And yet, Luuk’s request wasn’t entirely unreasonable, considering their current circumstances. If such a spell could protect him, help keep him safe, then…well, maybe teaching them to him was another thing she owed him. Another step towards redemption. No matter how it hurt her.

As he pondered her options, Natalie’s mind inevitably drifted towards the gun. Metal forged by more traditional means, but with the same deadly purpose. A method of defense that wasn’t a perversion of their art. It was tucked away into the bottom of her bag, with the magazine removed and the safety on. It would be a simple thing, to take it out and hand it over. Perhaps she could convince him that was enough. But…no. No. She had seen the way Luuk had reacted to it before, and such a weapon was terrible enough in its own right.

When she had decided on her answer, Natalie slowly set down the jacket she was holding, before turning to face Luuk properly. She fought hard to keep her expression neutral, her tone casual. Anything to convince him – and herself – that this was just another lesson, the same as any other.

“Our magic is too situational for one or two spells to provide you with all the solutions you could want. But…I can give you the pieces. So that you can try and cobble something together yourself, should the need arise. Maybe a few common examples.” The words felt thick and heavy on her tongue, but there was no going back now. She turned back towards her bag, and reached for the same marker that she had used to help redesign their old bedroom locks, just a few moments earlier. “Get your notebook.” Only when the two of them were seated, poised over an open page, would she begin in earnest.

“You probably won’t be able to test a lot of these things out now. Not without drawing a whole lot of attention, and destroying our brand new rooms. So you’ll have to make do with the theory for now. Ready?” Once she had Luuk’s confirmation, Natalie would put pen to paper, and begin their lesson in earnest.

After drawing out several blank circles on one page, she’d show him a handful of new markings he could use. Lines that could sharpen an edge, or create one. Lines that would let him break whatever he touched, provided it was made of wood, or metal, or stone. She’d even show him a few useful ways to combine the two, that could prove helpful in common situations. Ways to collapse a floor, or a wall, like she had done at her old apartment. A full sigil he could use to shatter a window, and leave himself with at least one piece of glass that could function as a makeshift knife.

There were darker spells than those, of course. Natalie knew of ways to rend flesh and splinter bones. With a mere brush of her hand and enough ill intent, she could cripple, kill, or even break minds. Forbidden things. Spells that she would only ever use as a last resort, and had gladly buried in the back of her mind for the past ten years. Even now, she shuddered to think of them. Those she would not teach. Not yet, and hopefully not ever. That was where she drew the line. Luuk would have to make do with more mundane methods.

Once she’d laid out her examples, she’d pass Luuk the pen, straighten up in her seat, and ask him to copy them onto the next page.

She’d sit back and watch as Luuk worked. Every stroke of his pen felt like he were driving a stake closer to her heart. Each completed tragedy felt like it were tearing free another piece of her soul. But even so, Natalie tried to find solace in the fact that this knowledge might help keep her young student safe. Tried to justify this choice to herself.

After watching Luuk work in silence for a moment, Natalie would clear her throat. She didn’t want to distract him while he was still processing this new lesson, but her conscience demanded that she speak. “I know it probably goes without saying, but I feel the need to make it clear anyway. These techniques are only ever to be used for self-defense. If I ever find out you’ve used them for anything else…” Natalie’s voice trailed off, and the teacher realised she didn’t know how to finish that sentence. How would she ever punish him, if she found he had done something so ghastly? Would she even be able to? Natalie had to suppress a shiver, and quickly shoved the thought aside. “I’m not saying you would. I wouldn’t have taught you them if I thought there was a risk of that. But for the sake of my own conscience…” she started, before trailing off again. God, she was making such a mess of this, wasn’t she? Hopefully she’d said enough for Luuk to understand what she was getting at.

[Ashen]

Natalie was silent for a long moment, and Luuk would have wondered if she’d even heard him if not for the way she paused. Her fingers hovered over the clothes she had been putting away, interrupted, and though she betrayed little with her expression, Luuk immediately regretted asking. It wasn’t his place to ask to learn such violent things. Isn’t that why his parents were dead? The misuse of magic, and the fear it had caused amongst the rest of the world? If he inappropriately applied the skills he had been taught, just who might he anger? His thoughts flashed back to Natalie’s home, to that man, the one who haunted his dreams. No, he thought, trying to shake the thought. He wouldn’t dare misuse what he knew, but he wanted—needed—to know how to protect himself. For his own peace of mind.

After a minute, to his surprise, Natalie humored him. Luuk was quick to follow her orders, ready to draw the new circles she’d teach. He watched the new markered shapes take form, committing them to memory. Their magic was not meant to be destructive, true, but he listened to her talk about the ways it could be, and he wondered how she knew so much. The curious part of Luuk wanted to know everything there was to know, but a terrified side of him feared what his teacher had experience with. To distract himself, he tried to think of new ways to apply the forms she was teaching, and as different scenarios played through his mind, he thought of ways to solve them. His eyes slowly studied the room, trying to find anything he could fashion into a weapon. The feel of the gun in his hands, sleek and cold, drifted back to his mind, and he visibly flinched. He had never thought of himself as a violent person; if the need arose, would he even be able to act with this new knowledge?

With the explanation finished, Luuk copied the circles into his notebook, taking extra care to be accurate with each mark etched into the perimeter. Afterwards, he committed them to memory, all while Natalie’s gaze remained, unflinching, on him.

He had heard it. The way her voice was too unnaturally level, or the way she looked to him more than during other lessons. Natalie did not want to be teaching him this, and guilt crawled up his skin at the realization. Was it that she didn’t trust him with this knowledge? No, he thought, he had given Natalie no reason to distrust him. Whatever reasons, he knew he would be extra careful with these. He didn’t want to disappoint his teacher, and more importantly, he didn’t want to anger the same murderers that she had.

Natalie spoke again, and Luuk turned to her, a brow arched. Was she… threatening him? He waited for her to finish her statement, waited for the punishment that would await him if ever he acted out of turn, but her warning never came, and Luuk turned away. Did she really think him capable of misusing something that had caused so much damage already? She had taken away from him everything he’d known; what more did she have with which to threaten him?

Luuk was quiet for a long while, contemplative, unsure of what he could say. “Yeah,” he finally settled on, not much a response. He looked at his notebook, at the notes he’d scribbled beneath the new circles. “You don’t have to worry about me,” he added tentatively. “I wouldn’t ever do anything like…” But the words trailed, and the rest of his sentence never came out. Wasn’t that why he’d asked her? To use what she’d teach? As much as he didn’t want to know these spells, he knew the choice was no longer his. And now, he could rest a bit safer knowing next time, he wouldn’t be so helpless.

He got up suddenly, snapping his book shut and setting it back into his backpack. Silent, he emptied the contents of his other bags onto his bed and began sorting what he needed to. He needed something mindless, repetitive, something like refolding his barely-folded clothes and putting things away. But before he got far, he looked back to Natalie. “Thank you,” he said, failing to meet her gaze. “For teaching me. I know you didn’t want to, and I get it. I’m not going to disappoint you.” Luuk then returned to his new task, hoping soon he could forget about the weight of his new abilities.

[Namingtoohard]

Luuk’s attempts at reassurance were halting and awkward, but Natalie knew that she was in no position to judge. She was nothing if not self-aware, and her own roughshod attempt at intimidation had been just as bad, if not worse. The topic of violence was always going to be a difficult one, but even so, Natalie couldn’t help but feel as if she’d failed as a teacher, somehow. That she should have kept them out of this situation to begin with, or taken the time to come up with a better way to explain, instead of just offering up the knowledge as soon as he had asked. Even now, she felt like she should say something more. Something to make things better, and help dispel the growing tension.

If such words existed, however, they didn’t come to Natalie then. Feeling the weight of her failures more keenly than ever, Natalie decided that they probably both needed some time to think. She certainly did, at the very least, and Luuk didn’t seem inclined to interrupt. Instead of speaking up, she turned her attention back to her own unpacking, and resumed her work in silence. She let her body move on autopilot, her hands folding and sorting clothes autonomously, whilst her mind wandered further afield, treading darker pastures.

It wasn’t long before Natalie decided that she couldn’t take it any longer, that she needed a moment to herself. She dug through her bag idly for a moment, and seized the small bag of toiletries that lay within. “I’ll be right back” she offered, perhaps unnecessarily, before slipping into the bathroom, and closing the door behind her.

It only took Natalie a few moments to unpack the scarce few toiletries she had. Her toothbrush and toothpaste, dental floss, and a small bar of soap. She hadn’t bothered with shampoo and conditioner – even cheap motels like this tended to supply their own. The same could be said of the soap, of course, but she had her preferences. Once she’d finish laying everything out, Natalie would turn on the sink faucet. She’d cup her hands beneath the running water, enjoying the cool feel for a moment, until it began to overflow. She’d lean down and splash it against her face, before glancing up at her own reflection in the mirror.

The face that gazed back at her was different to the one she remembered. They’d only been on the run for a short time, but already, the stress brought about by the constant, looming danger was beginning to take its toll. Growing dark rings and bags marked her eyes, and her cheeks already seemed leaner. It wasn’t so pronounced that a stranger might have noticed, but to Natalie, the difference was obvious. She wasn’t a young adult anymore – a fact she often forgot, until moments like this reminded her. How long could she live like this, really? They needed to do something. Something more than running and hiding. Something proactive. But what? The same question had plagued her for the past week, and still, she was no closer to an answer. She had one idea, but…it was risky.

After a moment, Natalie finally turned the faucet off again, before reaching for one of the towels that hung nearby. Once she’d dried her face, she would finally open the bathroom door again, her expression set into a look of grim determination. Her gaze found Luuk immediately, and she quickly stepped towards him.

“We need to talk, Luuk.” Not the most auspicious start, but Natalie was beyond the point of caring. She strolled over to her bed and helped herself to a seat atop it, facing her companion. The teacher felt the urge to fidget, or keep packing – anything to keep her hands occupied – but she suppressed the urge. Hopefully this discussion would go a little better than the last one.

“We need to think about what we’re going to do moving forward. Staying alive is all well and good, but it can’t be our only plan for the long-term. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I can live the rest of my life like this.” Natalie would let out a soft sigh, her gaze drifting off to the side for one moment, as she contemplated her options. “I do have one idea, but…it’d be dangerous. So if you have any suggestions, now’s the time.”

[Ashen]

When Natalie excused herself to the bathroom, Luuk replied with a small nod, wondering why she had felt the need to announce it. Had he done something to make her uncomfortable? The tension from their newest lesson was heavy in the air; she’d likely just needed to get away, and that was the only place she had that was not outside the safety of their shared space. The hotel room was about the same size as their last one, but somehow, it felt much smaller.

Luuk kept his hands busy. He tucked unevenly-folded clothes into drawers, slipped emergency pens into the nightstand, and, when his fingers began to tremble, he decided to take a break. He shoved his bags to the floor next to his bed and hopped onto the covers. These sheets were itchy, but he didn’t think he’d be able to rest much, anyway. He thumbed through various webpages on his phone, dismissed some more messages, and absently clicked through the mobile games he did not have the focus for. When that failed, he pulled his notebook from out of his backpack and looked over the new designs he’d learned.

The water in the bathroom was still running. Occasionally Luuk looked up at the door, waiting for it to open. Natalie had been in there a while, running the faucet, and he wanted to make sure she was okay. When she did finally come out, she looked all too exhausted, despite the care she’d taken to remove the signs of it from her face. Luuk wondered if he looked the same. He ran a hand over his face and flinched at the stubble growing in. Living like this, some of his former routines just hadn’t been important enough to keep. He would fix that later, he told himself, whenever later came.

His mentor drew his full attention, and Luuk sat up, watching her with unwavering interest. From her tone, he assumed it wasn’t a good conversation they were about to have, but then again, the discussions they had were rarely positive anymore. Luuk looked down at the notes in his book, then to the door and windows they had barricaded. Had his magic been wrong? Was he about to be reprimanded? No, Natalie looked far too drained to bother with a scolding like that. He obediently turned his body towards her bed, notebook in his lap as he crossed his legs, and nodded. “Of course.”

She… was right. As much as Luuk was in denial about their living situation, about their immediate future, there was little chance either of them could last very long like this. Eventually, their funds would run out, or they’d go insane first, and there was no way they could live their lives in a meaningful way from here. But the threats lingered at the corners of his mind, thoughts of what would happen if he dared to venture where he was not wanted. How could they ever survive the anxiety that came with being anywhere but here?

Natalie wanted suggestions, but there was too much Luuk did not know, too much he could not predict. He shook his head, biting his tongue, but after a moment, he spoke anyway. “What did you do last time?” There had been a last time; perhaps there had been last times. Natalie knew how to handle this… didn’t she? Wasn’t that why they were living in cheap motels, altering the doors and windows to put at rest their paranoia, waiting like sitting ducks before the anxiety forced them to move again?

He shifted, straightening his back, and his book fell out of his lap and onto the floor. Still, his gaze remained unflinching on her. “We could try to go back to our lives,” he suggested. “Maybe they forgot about us.” But he couldn’t convince himself, and his words sounded awkward and unfit in his mouth. Besides, Luuk didn’t have a life to return to. His semester had concluded: his studies were over, his dorm room was emptied, and he had nowhere else to go. Swallowing that thought, he cleared his throat. “Or we could move somewhere else. I hear Italy is great this time of year.” There wasn’t even the hint of a smile following his joke, and he turned away to avoid acknowledging that. This wasn’t the time for dumb suggestions, but he had nothing else to offer.

Without looking up to meet her eye, Luuk mumbled, “What’s more dangerous than this?”

[Namingtoohard]

The first question was one that, in hindsight, Natalie should have expected. Maybe if she’d given this a little more thought, she would have been prepared. Had a proper answer ready. As it was, the question brought several memories bubbling to the surface, unbidden. She remembered Luuk’s mother, looking just as desperate and afraid as Natalie had felt. She remembered the two of them sneaking through the shadows together, committing one atrocity after the other, all in the name of survival. She remembered their desperate pleas, the dark bargain that they had made. She remembered the way Luuk’s mother had looked after their aggressors had broken their deal, and shot her without warning. All relevant, but all things she dared not mention. They were things she had never wanted to think again, let alone speak about. Especially to Tess’s son. But what was she supposed to say in their place?

Natalie was so absorbed by her thoughts that it took her several moments to realise that she had been staring off into space, and remember Luuk was still in the room with her. Still waiting for an actual answer. She threw a glance at her young student, still at a loss as to how she was supposed to explain. So Natalie opened her mouth, and hoped that the words that spilled out would be good enough. That she’d find the answer somewhere along the way.

“Last time, your mother and I approached the people who were hunting us, and hoped they’d be merciful. I don’t need to remind you how well that turned out.” As soon as the words had left her mouth, Natalie flinched inwardly. Even to her own ears, they sounded much too callous. Too detached from the reality of that night. But it was as close as her mind would allow her to get right now, apparently. She didn’t think she was ready to explain just yet, and even if she had been, Luuk needed to know a little more about their magic before he could understand the full scope of what she and Tess had done. Unsure, she decided to just rush ahead, and hope that would suffice. The talk of Italy was enough to get a dry chuckle out of her, at the very least.

“If they were capable of forgetting, they wouldn’t have been keeping such a close eye on me, after how long it’s been. We genuinely could try to free the country, but…we don’t know how far the power these people have extends. At the end of the day, that’s really the crux of the issue. If we had more information, we could try and plan around their capabilities, but…” Natalie trailed off, before giving something akin to a helpless shrug. Speculation would get them nowhere. If it would, Natalie would have come up with an answer already. She’d certainly spent enough time overthinking throughout the last week.

“The only other idea I can think of is to use myself as bait.” Despite her earlier attempts at self-control, Natalie wasn’t able to stop herself from fidgeting now. She tapped the fingers of her hand against her thigh rhythmically as she spoke; a subtle hint as to her nervousness. “We know that they’ll send someone after us if they figure out where we are. So I intentionally put myself in the spotlight. We plan things out in advance and make sure that when they come, we’re ready for it. We try and get the drop on whoever they send, and see if we can’t find something out in the process.”

It was a dangerous idea, but every option they had felt dangerous to Natalie at the moment. Still, the two of them were capable mages, with magic that rewarded planning and creativity. Surely, given enough time, they could come up with a plan that their mysterious hunters wouldn’t be able to see coming. It was that, or…well, keep living like this. Or they could go back to Luuk’s plan. The thought was enough to coax a wan smile from her lips.

“It’s either that, or we actually try and flee the country, and hope they don’t react quickly enough to stop us. Either way, we’d be rolling the dice.”

[Ashen]

The cold tone of Natalie’s blunt reply snapped Luuk to attention, and any other stupid questions he might have had died in his throat. Her answer was the reminder he didn’t need that his life was in danger, that he was only a few wrong steps away from formally meeting his parents. He shuddered and turned away from her. Luuk couldn’t blame Natalie for her insensitive response—she had lived through it, after all, and held all the scars for it he did not—he only regretted asking, regretted not thinking just a little bit about the answers he probably could have figured out on his own.

The longer Natalie spoke, the more Luuk regretted speaking. His lighthearted though idiotic words were too full of hope, ill-fit for their situation. He nodded softly as she refuted him. They needed information. Already his mind began its wandering, thinking of all the ways they could find out more about their pursuers. It was difficult to know how much he didn’t know, and Luuk had the feeling Natalie was still not telling him some things, but he didn’t feel like now was a time for any more questions. Instead, he tried to come up with his own methods, but he was only drawing blanks.

When she voiced her own suggestion, Luuk turned sharply to face her, his eyes clouding over in disbelief. “No,” came his immediate reply, but he let her speak. From the way her body slightly shook, she seemed just as against this idea as he was. Was there really no other way? Natalie didn’t need to mention the risks of this new plan; he was all too aware of how things could go wrong. He hadn’t been there when his mother died, but the same scenario played out in his head, this time with Natalie, over and over. He wondered how he could take on after her, how he, inexperienced as he was, could get on as the last living mage, and a new fear tangled in his throat. He shook his head and took a few moments to catch his breath. No, he wouldn’t think of that. Things wouldn’t come to that.

Besides, even if her idea of using herself as bait was outrageous in every way, she did have a point. They were running out of ideas, and maybe a little danger would be worth it to get them out of here, get their lives back, to not be controlled by villains who wanted them dead. He tried not to think of how crazy it all sounded, how agreeing would feel a lot like volunteering her life for his safety. Again Luuk shook his thoughts, forcefully, and tried to refocus.

He was quiet for several minutes, thinking. Finally, he said, “Okay.” Luuk shifted, his legs moving to dangle over the edge of the bed, and he straightened, nodding slightly. “We will put you in the spotlight to lure out the people we want information from. Okay.” He brought his gaze to her. “We should do it in a public place, an event of some sort, with a lot of people. That way, our… the people after us, they’d be less hasty to attack if they’d be caught, right? And we’ll have a trap in place, a magic trap, still invisible to the people not looking for it, and we’ll capture them, to question them, just to learn some new things, but how would we get them to talk—” His mind wandered to the newest magic he’d learned, and he visibly flinched before continuing. “—and once we have information, we can decide from there where we go, and how we can move forward. Nothing bad will happen to either of us.”

It was clear he was going over the plan more for his own benefit than for Natalie’s. He watched her face, waiting to see her reaction, waiting for her to tell him she’d been joking, but she didn’t. He swallowed, hard. “Okay,” he said for the third time. “When… should we do it?”

[Namingtoohard]

Luuk’s first response struck Natalie as the sensible one. The idea she had proposed was truly dangerous, all things considered. Their opponents had weapons that could kill instantly, from a large distance, whilst she and Luuk needed to touch things to affect them. They didn’t know how many enemies there would be, or what they would look like. Catching a target was always more difficult than killing one, too. No matter how extensive their planning, there was no way that the two of them would be able to cover every eventually. One of war’s oldest adages was that no strategy ever survived contact with the enemy, and for good reason. Her suggestion was something that only the truly insane or truly desperate would ever consider. In that moment, though, Natalie wasn’t sure which of those two categories fit her better. She was just ready for this endless purgatory to stop. One way or another.

Luuk’s acceptance was enough. Natalie dipped her head slightly for a moment, a shaky breath slipping past her lips, before she’d gather her resolve and give him a determined nod. Their path was set now, and she had no intentions of changing it. The two of them might second-guess themselves as the big moment drew closer, but here and now, she felt committed.

Her expression grew focused as she listened to Luuk’s suggestions, one after the other. The idea of doing things in a public place was…interesting. A possibility she hadn’t considered. Minimizing the odds that their opponents would attack out of the blue with lethal force was an appealing prospect, though using their magic without attracting attention would become much more difficult. The other obvious problem that sprang to mind was the possibility of any civilians getting caught in the crossfire. Hopefully everything would go according to plan, but in the case it didn’t, Natalie wasn’t entirely sure she was willing to tolerate the possibility of collateral damage. Not where innocents were involved. Was there some way they could get the best of both worlds?

“The university” Natalie offered by the way of reply, after several moments of consideration. The longer she considered the idea, the more logical it seemed. “We know the building is monitored, so we can be sure the people looking for us will take notice. If you have some sort of electronic ID card you can use, too, then all the better. We know there will be witnesses around, depending on the exact day and time we choose to do things. And you know the layout, so we’ll have a good picture of the building’s layout to base our trap on. It ticks all of the boxes.”

Natalie’s first few words came out slowly, but the more she spoke, the faster she seemed to move. It was as if the gears of her mind were finally coming unstuck, finally beginning to turn again, now that she had a specific problem she could focus on. At long last, she could do something useful, instead of just hiding in the dark and waiting. Wondering when their enemies would come kick down the door, and finish what they had started, all those years ago. If they were truly going to make this gamble, go all in, then she would invest as much time and energy as she was able, so that they had the greatest chance of success possible.

No longer able to contain herself, Natalie would rise to her feet, and begin pacing the length of their room. She looked down at the floor in front of her feet, but her expression was far from despondent. It was focused, concentrated, as she continued to walk back and forth on a loop.

“We don’t have to rush into things, but there’s no reason to delay, either. We do things as soon as we’re confident we’ve prepared as much as we possibly can. Until then, we spend our mornings continuing your lessons, and our evenings working on the plan.” She’d pause her pacing just long enough to throw a glance in Luuk’s direction. “I hope you’re ready to knuckle down and study like it’s finals season.” A hint of a smile flickered across her face, before another idea seemed to strike Natalie. She’d walk back over to the beds and seize Luuk’s notebook, before flicking to an open page. She’d thrust both it and her marker at the poor boy expectantly.

“Do you think you could draw me a rough map of the university? I know it’s probably too big to do the entire thing, but the more detailed, the better. Just focus on any areas that might be useful to us.”

[Ashen]

The university… Yes, Luuk figured, that made sense. The campus was huge, with people all over at all times of day, even at night. Summer classes would be starting soon, so by the time they were ready to move, professors and students alike would be shuffling around, grinding out class plans and study sessions, eager to keep up with the hastened pace of the half-term. Luuk didn’t know if his ID would still work—he wasn’t technically a student anymore—but it was worth a shot. Before they were ready, he would make sure to visit campus, try to get into the library, the cafeteria, see where his ID could still take him. All the while, maybe he could convince himself that his old life hadn’t changed after all.

Plus, he knew the grounds well. Gloucestershire’s campus had been his home, his world, for the past six years. He would know, even during the summer, which buildings were occupied when, which rooms were hubs, where they could most efficiently plan their attack. As Natalie spoke of the benefits, Luuk thought of the many more she couldn’t know, and he nodded along, eager to formulate the specifics of the operation.

Even though Natalie assured there was no rush, the pressure was building within him to move, as if waiting too long might get them both killed. When they were both ready was a phrase without meaning, an impossibility, but still, Luuk did not protest. Arguing with her wouldn’t get them anywhere, and it would be a waste of time they could use preparing. Her joke got a soft smile out of him, at least, and he nodded. “I thought I’d be done with those when I graduated,” he mused, a soft chuckle following. This would be different, would be more important, and Luuk did not intend to let his teacher down.

His gaze followed her to where he’d left his notebook, and he regarded her with a raised brow. “Oh,” he said, when she made her intentions clear. “Of course.” He took the book from her, then hesitated. “Actually, I think I can do you one better.” Luuk rummaged through one of his bags by the bed and sifted through papers in various folders. Some were very old, their age showing in the tears and scuffs in them, and some were being held together entirely by tape. He grabbed for one of the worse ones and finally seemed to find what he was looking for within it. “Surprised all these papers survived,” Luuk admitted as he handed one to Natalie. On it was a map of his campus, given to him during his orientation ages ago, which he had used to find his classes for his first couple terms. He glanced at it in her hands, then frowned and took it back. “Hold on.”

Luuk set the old map at the top of his notebook as he started to draw a replica of it on the lined paper. As he did, he mumbled to himself about a building being torn down, a new one replacing it. It didn’t take long, and soon, he was looking over his new, hand-drawn map, trying to think if he’d forgotten anything. “This is more accurate,” he said, ripping the page out of his book and handing it to Natalie. “Can’t believe it’s been six years…” He shook the thought, then started pointing to things on the map. “The buildings surrounding the square here are going to be the most crowded, obviously, but there’s also this one…” His finger trailed across the ink to land on a building a little distance away from the others. “This one has a lot of important classes in it too, and since it’s further from the center than the others, it might be a good option. It still sees traffic, but it’s not so crowded that anyone would… would…”

He hadn’t wanted to consider it, anyone else getting caught up in their issues. What if the people chasing them didn’t care about the audience at all? Would anyone else get hurt? How would Luuk live with himself knowing other people were traumatized because of him? He considered telling Natalie no, to look for somewhere that wasn’t the university, somewhere quiet where no one would watch them die, but he bit his tongue. If he let his anxiety spiral, he and Natalie would be stuck in this life, unable to move on. He had to believe nothing bad would happen. He had to trust in them.

After clearing his throat, Luuk spent another several minutes giving Natalie some tips about different routes through campus and buildings they could use, even jotting a few notes in the white space around his drawing. “The police station is here,” he said, circling part of the building that housed the officers who often did more meddling than protecting. “We’ll want to consider the distance between there and the location we choose. They might be able to help us, if things go wrong.” Or they’d just make things worse, he thought, but he hoped it wouldn’t come to finding out.

When finally Luuk finished discussing the map, he set his pen aside and sighed. Even if they had some direction now, it was still all too much, and he was overwhelmed with the possibilities of all that could go wrong. He turned back to Natalie, trying to figure out how she was feeling about all this. “It’s been… a long day,” he said, even if it was far from over. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to lay down.” He retrieved his laptop and sat with it in his lap, cringing as the notifications of ignored messages and alerts filled the room. Luuk took his time addressing them, even if he couldn’t much respond to them. Then, when things had calmed down a bit, he glanced over at Natalie.

She had been his only companion for a while now, but he’d felt that there was so much he could not share with her, so much she was not sharing with him. He needed other outlets, other people to talk to who didn’t understand and didn’t have to. His fingers lingered over his keyboard, itching to click an old friend’s username, or another, until finally, Luuk settled on one person to contact. He typed in the email address of his old professor, wrapped his message in apologies, and in a few minutes, his note was heading towards its destination, to the inbox of the man who had much more to do with this than Luuk could know.

After a minute, he set his laptop beside him. “Would you want to… watch a movie together?” he asked Natalie. “If I don’t find a distraction, I think I might burst.” They could continue their routine tomorrow, after they’d both rested. Right now, some relaxation was far more important to ensure they were even sane enough to go through with their plan.

[Namingtoohard]

The promise of ‘something even better’ was more than enough to pique Natalie’s curiosity. Did Luuk have access to some sort of official map or floor plan? That would be an incredible stroke of luck. She didn’t think it beyond the realms of possibility, and that sort of information, that level of detail, would be an incredible boon when it came to planning their operation. Her mind raced as it weighed the odds, and considered what that knowledge might allow them to do. Even so, Natalie did her best to appear patient. She resisted the urge to bombard Luuk with further questions, so that he might continue his search uninterrupted. She could hold her tongue for a few moments, let her questions stew, if it meant he’d finish up sooner.

The piece of paper that Luuk handed over was more or less what Natalie had been hoping for. A single glance was enough to determine its purpose – a map of the campus intended for new students. She didn’t get a chance to take in much more, however, before he quickly pulled it away again. As soon as Luuk began to draw, Natalie found herself thankful for the interruption. Her sense of excitement only seemed to multiply as she watched him work, using the existing map to create a new, more up-to-date one. Yes, this was working out better than she had dared to hope. His personal experience was more valuable than any old map could ever be, and she planned on making full use of it.

When Luuk was done with his new creation, Natalie accepted the new map immediately. Her student was saddled with her absolute, undivided attention as he began talking her through specific details. Pointing out buildings that might be good choices for them, and other points of interest. Her mind devoured all this new information, ravenous. Eager. The police station in particular was something Natalie had failed to consider, but now that Luuk pointed it out to her, it definitely seemed like something worth factoring in. Yes, this was exactly what she needed, and Luuk’s personal experience was already proving its worth.

“Hm? Oh, sure. Take all the time you need. I’ll try and be quiet for you.”

Determined to make good on her promise, and give Luuk what little privacy she could besides, Natalie was quick to turn away. There was only so far she could go, with both of them stuck within such confined quarters, but she was eager to comply. She stepped out from between the beds and headed towards the far side of the room. Natalie helped herself to a seat atop the only frees-standing chair that furnished their current rooms, orienting herself so she was facing away from her companion. The best she could do, short of sequestering herself away in the bathroom for the duration. With her map in hand, she did her best to tune out everything else, and began thinking through a few preliminary ideas.

Natalie ignored the tapping of keys that came from behind her, opting to focus on her work instead. She’d turn her attention back to Luuk only when he spoke next, inviting her attention again. Natalie would twist in her seat without rising, throwing an arm over the back of the chair and turning her head to face her young student. The suggestion that they watch a movie, however, was enough to make her hesitate. Now that the two of them had a definite goal, a problem she could actively work towards solving, Natalie wanted nothing more than to knuckle down and work through it. To finally do something proactive, after so long spent moving around and hiding. That said…perhaps the time off would do her good. One afternoon wasn’t going to make much of a difference, in the grand scheme of things, right? Besides, she’d be more effective when well-rested. That was what Natalie told herself, at the very least.

“Sure. Maybe we can order some takeout too. Make a real occasion of it.” Natalie would smile as she rose from her chair, and move back towards the beds. She’d scoop the TV remote up off the nightstand, and quickly switch the dated television on. Navigating the menus took her a few moments, but before long, she’d managed to bring up a catalogue of pay-per-view movies. She’d spend a few moments scrolling through them slowly, before throwing another glance towards Luuk.

“What sort of movies do you normally watch? Horror? Thrillers?” The mundane nature of the question struck Natalie. How strange, for them to be stuck together like this, and not know such basic things about each other. In any case, she was quick to re-evaluate. “Actually, on second thought, I’ve been tense enough lately. Let’s keep it light and breezy instead.” A few more clicks, and she’d flick through the menus for comedies, romances, and a few other more cheerful genres. “Let me know if anything catches your eye.”

[Ashen]

As Natalie sifted through the channels on the TV in their room, Luuk could only watch with a bemused smirk on his face and a chuckle under his breath. Sometimes she really did show her age, especially where technology was concerned. He let her surf while he pulled up his collection of streaming services on his laptop. If he could untangle the chords he’d thrown into his bag, he could connect his laptop to the TV, and they would have a much better variety of things to watch—and all without requiring extra payment. Finally, when her surfing had slowed down and she looked to him for input on what they’d watch, Luuk motioned towards the screen where a list of “family-friendly classics” was on display.

It took them longer to sort the wires in his backpack than it did to pick a film and get the computer hooked up to the old TV. Only once the movie was ready to go did he remember to call for food. He let Natalie pick the place this time, and when it was ready, he made the walk to get it, convincing himself that that was safer than giving their address to a stranger. When he returned, they settled down with their food and turned their attention to the TV, eager to set the day’s problems aside for ninety minutes to enjoy some mindless entertainment.

Their movie would prove to be a mediocre one all around, from the plot filled with holes to the bad acting and the stereotypical romance tropes, but when Luuk turned to Natalie to make fun of it, he saw her enjoying it perhaps too much. He laughed softly to himself, for a moment forgetting their place in the hotel room and enjoying her enjoyment. He didn’t remember dozing off, but he woke up somewhere at the end of the movie, when the two main characters were rambling awkwardly about spending the rest of their lives together. A loud yawn escaped him, and he shot Natalie an apologetic glance, but she barely seemed to notice. Sitting up, Luuk watched the last few minutes, barely containing his eye rolls.

The film had been a good distraction, but with it finished, silence settled back over the room. Luuk’s mind again wandered to campus, to their plans, and a chill ran down his spine. When his phone lit up with a notification, he jumped at the surprise of it. It was an email from his professor, an invitation for coffee tomorrow. Luuk had seemed concerning, Dr. V had written, and he just wanted to talk. To help. There would be nothing wrong with that. Luuk turned to Natalie, as if to ask permission, but she didn’t seem concerned with what he was doing. He typed up a response, a promise to meet his professor at one of the coffee shops on campus in the morning, then silenced his phone and shoved it under his pillow.

For the rest of the day, Luuk could focus on little. He could rarely focus on anything for long, but this was worse, was an inability to do anything for more than a few minutes. He tried to study, to play video games, to browse YouTube, but nothing kept him interested. Finally, he had to resign himself to the fact that he’d only be able to think of their plans, so he pulled out a notebook and started making notes for himself. With any luck, they would think through this all soon, and they’d get this over with before he could drive himself mad.

By the time they were ready for sleep, Luuk had filled several pages of his notebook with various scribbles and ideas. He suddenly looked up and seemed confused at how much time had passed, how dark it had gotten. He put his notebook away for now, telling himself he would show it to Natalie tomorrow; showing her now would only tempt her to stay up and read it, to lose the sleep she likely needed as badly as he did. Luuk got ready for bed, and though his mind was too overactive for rest, his body fell into sleep as soon as his head hit his pillow.

[Namingtoohard]

Once upon a time, Natalie might have been embarrassed by such an obvious display of technical ineptitude. Now, she was just glad that she had someone else around who could handle that sort of thing on her behalf, without being overly judgemental. The news that Luuk’s method was free was enough for it to earn her support, to say nothing of the video quality, or selection. When the two of them had decided on a film, she was quick to settle atop her bed, ready for it to begin.

Natalie wasn’t the sort of person to watch movies. She had always found them too…passive for her liking. She usually preferred things that involved a little more engagement, be it physical or mental. This time, however, she found herself welcoming the break, despite herself. Welcoming the chance to switch her brain off, and relax. Despite it’s flaws, she found herself genuinely enjoying the film. She had accepted a long time ago that she’d never have a family of her own. That she had, in a fashion, chosen her work over her social life. It had been a conscious choice. One that she’d made willingly, and didn’t usually regret. But now, watching films like this…well, it was nice to catch a glimpse of the other side, sometimes. Imagine what might have been.

When the credits began to roll, Natalie kept staring at the screen idly, whilst her thoughts wandered further afield. It took her several long moments to realise that the show was over, and the screen was once again showing the menu. She blinked a few times, coming out of her trance slowly. She’d take a moment to stretch, a yawn slipping from her lips, before her gaze wandered back over to her map. A part of Natalie wanted to get straight back to work, but…well, she wasn’t sure how much she trusted her tired self. As eager as she was, getting their plan right seemed more important than finishing it quickly. With a measure of reluctance, she accepted that she had best wait.

The rest of the evening was passed doing small things. Trivial tasks designed more to keep her busy than really accomplish anything meaningful. When bed time finally came, Natalie counted it a blessing. She crawled beneath the covers early, determined to make sure she was as well-rested as possible for the next day. Sleep, however, wasn’t inclined to cooperate. Natalie lay there for what felt like hours, awake with thoughts of what was to come, and the movie, until she finally drifted off.

The next morning started the same way so many others had – with a trip for coffee. After a quick shower and a change of clothes, Natalie made the long walk across the street to a nearby coffee shop. She returned with their customary order, sipping from her own mug idly whilst she walked. As the caffeine slowly forced the rest of her brain to wake up, Natalie found herself wondering when going outside had become such a casual affair. When they’d first gone into hiding, she’d barely been able to walk a few metres without glancing over her shoulder. Now, after so long without another incident, strolling down the sidewalk and through a crowd almost felt normal again. In some ways, it was a welcome relief. In others…well, perhaps it were more dangerous this way, if adjusting meant that she couldn’t help but let her guard down.

Slightly troubled by the realisation, Natalie found that she was more eager than ever to get back to work. Now that she was well-rested, and had coffee, she felt as ready as she were over going to be. It was time to begin working on their plan in earnest. Much like yesterday, she found that she was actually looking forward to it. As if this were a puzzle she were doing for fun, not because their lives depended on it. Such was her thought process as she let herself back into the room. She placed Luuk’s coffee down on his bedside table, before once again seating herself at her desk. She set her cup down after another quick sip, picked up her pen, began leafing through her meager collection of references, and turned her attention to the task at hand.

[Ashen]

When Luuk awoke, Natalie was gone. That wasn’t such an unusual thing these days, however, and he assumed she had just gone to get breakfast or run a quick errand. To get ready for his day, Luuk pulled some clothes on and brushed his teeth. As he looked at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, he realized he hadn’t quite told his roommate where he was going. Would she take issue with him meeting up with someone like this? Yes, he thought, and he wondered if hiding that fact from her would be a good idea. He didn’t want to jeopardize their mission, and he knew the dangers of talking too much to too many people, but this was just one man, just his trusted professor, and he needed to get things off his chest somehow, to someone who wouldn’t get more stressed out about what he had to say. After mulling over his options for a few more minutes, Luuk agreed that not telling Natalie he was meeting someone would be the better option for both of them.

Natalie returned to their room only a few minutes later, and Luuk greeted her with the usual good mornings and questions about her sleep. He then hesitated, realizing he was dressed for what would seem to her like no reason. As he sipped the coffee she brought him, he shifted. “I wanted to go out today,” he said quietly. “For… coffee.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the smartest thing to say when he had a cup of joe already in his hands. As that dawned on him, he swore under his breath and shook his head. “I’ll need the extra caffeine. Didn’t sleep too well last night, because of…” Truthfully, he hadn’t slept very well since they’d first gone into hiding, but the thoughts of their new plan—what he hoped would be their final plan—hadn’t helped. “And…” he added, “I need to get out of this room.” That, also, was not a lie.

With his awkward song and dance complete, Luuk finished the coffee Natalie had brought and got set to head out. He bid Natalie farewell and started back towards campus, all the while hoping she wouldn’t be too mad at him for the obvious half-truths he’d left her with.

Dr. Vetere was already at the café by the time Luuk arrived, so the former student ordered a coffee for himself and plopped down across from him. He greeted him with a nod and, never one for small talk, spent several minutes asking after graduation and the final grades. After, a silence settled over the two, only broken by a concerned-sounding professor.

“Luuk.” Dr. V’s expression was characteristically cold, but there was a concern behind those dark eyes reserved for only his star pupil. “You’ve changed in these past few weeks, and truthfully, I’ve been concerned about you. Is there anything you’d like to talk about?”

Luuk sighed. He knew he couldn’t say much, but the stress of his situation weighed heavily on him, and it didn’t take much for him to open up. “I’ve been staying with a friend,” he told Dr. V, cautiously at first. “She’s been down on her luck lately, and I’ve been trying to help out, but I’m not sure if I even can, or if I just make things harder on her. There are so many things it feels like she’s not telling me, and this affects both of us now, so it’s… It’s been hard on us both, is all.”

Dr. V listened carefully as he sipped at his black coffee. “It sounds like your friend is taking advantage of your kindness,” he commented.

“Natalie wouldn’t do that,” Luuk answered automatically, and he believed it. “She’s a good person. I might not have known her long, but I know that much. She holds a lot of regret, but she’s trying to make things right.”

“Natalie,” Dr. V repeated. “She must be very important to you if you’re willing to put up with so much, especially so soon after meeting her.”

Luuk considered that. “She is important to me,” he agreed. “She was a friend of my parents’, so in a way, she’s all I have left of them. I believe in what she’s trying to do, and it’s my duty to help her.”
Dr. V considered something. “She was the one who helped you with your project,” he guessed. “Your report was a very interesting read, by the way, Luuk. I wanted to ask you more about the religion your parents followed.”

Luuk sat up a bit straighter. He had the sense to not elaborate on that. “I’m not very comfortable discussing that right now.” He hated the way his professor regarded him with a pang of disappointment. He hated holding himself back from someone who wanted to learn about his magic. Luuk wondered, sometime in the distant future, if he might be able to trust Dr. V with the truth about his abilities.

“Forgive me,” Dr. V said. “I don’t mean to pry.” He bit into the pastry that had otherwise remained untouched on his side of the table. “At any rate, I do hope you and Natalie can figure out a solution to the things you’re going through.”

“Oh, we will!” Luuk said, a smile slipping onto his lips. “We’re developing a plan, actually, and once we get everything figured out, we won’t have to deal with this bad luck anymore, and we’ll go back to our normal lives. Or, well, I don’t have one to return to now that school’s over, but… I’ll find something new.”

Dr. V nodded. “You’re always welcome back here,” he said. “I could use a brilliant and passionate student to help me with my research, especially one with a work ethic such as yours.” He leaned forward, eyes shining behind the frames of his glasses. “Don’t worry, Luuk. You’re a bright kid, and we’ll get you where you need to be. Remember, I am here for you.”


---


On the way back to the inn, Luuk couldn’t believe how much better he was already feeling. His conversation with Dr. V had been short, but it had been nice to talk with someone, even if it hadn’t been as freely as he would have liked. Dr. V’s faith in him motivated him, and when this was over—when he and Natalie were safe, and when they could go back to their lives—Luuk thought he’d like to have another conversation with his professor, a long one over a nice dinner, where they’d talk about everything that had happened. Would Dr. V even believe him? Luuk wanted to think so, and he found himself looking forward to that talk.

Back at the inn, the dread began to set in again. It had only been a few hours, but he wondered about Natalie, if she’d made any progress on their plan. Without the distraction of his trip to the café, he knew his focus would return to it, too. But he could do this, he reminded himself. He had to polish up this plan, then execute it, and then he and Natalie would be safe. And maybe, after all this blew over, Natalie would continue to teach him, and Luuk could learn more and more about his magic. Maybe someday, he might even become as good a mage as her.

[Namingtoohard]

Once Luuk was gone, Natalie did her best to shove any lingering concerns over his slightly awkward, abrupt departure to the back of her mind. Her maternal instincts still insisted that he were her responsibility, and that she needed to make sure he was safe, but Natalie did her best to ignore them. The rational part of her brain was able to recognise that Luuk was his own person, and an adult besides. He was able to make his own choices, and it wasn’t her place to try and restrict his personal freedoms any more than their situation already had. At the end of the day, she simply had to trust in him, trust that she’d taught him enough, and hope that they’d see each other again soon.

With that matter settled, in a sense, Natalie quickly turned her attention to the scattered drawing and lists that were spread out across the desk before her. She had plenty of references, a wealth of personal knowledge, fresh coffee, and now, some quiet time alone to think. Everything that she could have possibly asked or hoped for. It was time to start working on this problem in earnest. With nothing else to distract her, Natalie picked up her pen, and began to think.

She hit her first road block immediately. Their overall goal was obvious, but what would be the best way to reach it? Were they supposed to find some way to get their attacker thrown in jail, without raising questions about the existence of magic? Could they really justify killing, even after everything that had happened? Or would Natalie have to do something she’d sworn she would never do again, and use her magic on them directly? Gripped within the cold claws of choice paralysis, Natalie found herself hesitating. She began to tap her pen against the desk’s wooden surface. Then she began to rock her chair. Then she got up, and began to pace the length of their empty room, over and over again.

Natalie couldn’t help but feel she were wasting too much time mulling over their options, without making any actual, tangible progress. Her thought process kept leading her around and around in circles, just as her pacing was wearing out the same stretch of carpet. Finally, she slowed, and came to a halt. Natalie knew the answer. She had for a while, she suspected, and had just refused to accept it. Had wanted to find an alternative. In a way, it was poetic, she supposed. For this would end the same way it had started. If breaking her promise would save them, then she’d do it. Natalie suspected that this burden would be a little easier to carry, anyway. That’s what she told herself, at the very least.

At long last, she seated herself at the table again, tried to take another sip from her now-empty coffee cup, and began to work in earnest. When Luuk finally returned home, she didn’t pause to ask him about where he had been, or what he had been doing. She simply invited him to come and join her, and began to explain the basis of her idea.

It soon became clear that getting started had been the hardest part. Now that she had a semblance of direction, the rest suddenly felt much more manageable, and Natalie tackled the work without pause. The days passed in a blur, each one almost indistinguishable from the next. If asked, Natalie wouldn’t have been able to tell Luuk how many times she had slept, or when her last meal had been. Her work consumed her, in a way few things had. In a way she hadn’t felt since the last time a big magical project had truly challenged her. She accepted Luuk’s help, worked with him when he was willing, and pushed on alone when he wasn’t. Treated all the different problems and possibilities like puzzles, breaking them down into small pieces that she could tackle one at a time. Fitted them together, one after another…until, suddenly, there was nothing more to do.

Eventually, Natalie solved one problem and tried to turn her mind to the next, only to find that there wasn’t one. She sat in her chair for a moment, frozen. It felt wrong, not to be working, after so long. Yet, it seemed as if there was nothing more to do. She double-checked. Went over the plan a second time, to make sure all their solutions worked out, and that she hadn’t missed anything. Then she did it a third time, just to be sure. Then, she spoke.

“Hey Luuk, do you have a second? Let’s go over this together, make sure we haven’t missed anything.”

In the end, it would take them a few more days to iron out all the details. Improve on a few of their current ideas further, wrinkle out a few flaws, and cover a few possibilities they realised they had missed. Then, at long last, they were ready.

~~

Gloucestershire’s famous university. Natalie had driven past the grounds dozens of times in her life, but never before had she actually walked through it. Now, for the first time, she strolled the lengthy, winding paths between the buildings. With her hands tucked deep into the pockets of her sweater, stuffed amongst all the markers she had brought, the mage did her best to appear casual. She recognised each of the individual buildings from the maps Luuk had drawn her, but she allowed her partner to lead the way regardless, whilst she pretended to take in the sights, and admire the architecture. With every step they took, anticipation seemed to fill her. Her breath might have fogged in the air in front of her, but Natalie knew it wasn’t just the early morning cold that had her feeling awake on this particular morning.

“Shall we go over the plan one more time? Just to make sure.” Natalie asked the question softly, despite the healthy distance they were maintaining from everyone else. She half expected Luuk to groan or roll his eyes at the suggestion. They’d been over the plan so many times that Natalie herself felt as if it were burned into the insides of her eyelids. That she’d be able to remember it perfectly, several years for now…provided they survived today. She thought they would, but….well, better safe than sorry, right?

[Ashen]

After all their planning, things were finally beginning to fall into place. It was D-Day, H-120 minutes. As a student of history, Luuk knew more about the World Wars than anyone should have ever wanted. He’d never cared for them himself, never found joy in studying them like most of his peers had, but like the rest of his class, he’d still had all of his numbers memories. 6 June, 1944. The plans that had taken a year to finalize were put into action. One hundred and fifty thousand soldiers were dropped onto foreign soil to invade their enemies and hopefully turn the war. Somewhere around five thousand men had lost their lives in such an invasion.

Luuk and Natalie hadn’t had a year. They’d had barely a few weeks, and with their irrational emotions interfering so much in their preparations, it didn’t even seem like they’d had that. More than usual, Luuk found himself unable to remember details they’d gone over too many times and unable to focus when Natalie rehashed them. His notes spun around on the pages of his notebook, illegible. He’d always had a learning disability—or several, according to the very tired doctors who’d handed him diagnoses like candy as a teenager—but this was too important to mess up, and his frustration only made things worse. He should have remembered, especially after Natalie repeated the details dozens of times, but it was as if his mind didn’t want to go through with this. As if his own fear was sabotaging their plans. On the day that would change their lives, he felt unprepared for the biggest test of his life.

They had no army; it was just the two of them, and whatever wayward student got locked in the crosshairs of their battle. They had staked out campus for days now, checking in at different times to determine that this early in the morning was when it was least busy, when most students were only just getting ready for their classes or stealing the last moments of sleep they could afford. Just two people. Their numbers did not inspire confidence, not when they didn’t know how many people they’d be up against. Natalie hadn’t yet called her keeper, but part of their plan was that she demand he come alone. A man willing to chase them down at gunpoint—or at least send someone else to do that for him—her keeper didn’t seem like the most honest of men, even if he agreed to meet up with them in the first place.

The death count remained to be seen. That historical day so many decades ago was regarded as a success in all history books on this side of the war. Luuk had always wondered that about wars. Words like victory and success were thrown around as absolutes, justified by body counts higher than the enemy’s, or properties stolen, or rights earned. But what victory could the dead cherish? If he and Natalie succeeded today, how many mistakes would count against their victory? How many mistakes would outweigh their winnings?

This wasn’t war. Luuk knew that. Whether they won or lost, people likely would not write about them in history books. They’d headline the newspapers at most, two tragic losses of life, gone for no reason. No one would know of their struggle. No one would believe them. After all, there were no history books on magic. With a mirthless chuckle, Luuk wondered, if he did survive this, if he might write the first.

They arrived to campus two hours before the scheduled confrontation. They had checked and rechecked and triple checked their notes, and they were as prepared as they would ever be. As they made their way down the footpath, the morning breeze guided them to the building they had chosen on the edge of campus. For the next hour, they would use their magic to lock the doors and windows, ensuring there would be no escape for whoever entered. With any luck, as predicted, it would only be Natalie’s keeper, and only when they were ready for him.

Natalie broke the silence by asking to go over their plan again, and Luuk hesitated, worrying his bottom lip. “I don’t—” he started, but his nerves stole his voice, and he had to swallow the bile already racing up his throat. Would he be able to pull this off if he could hardly breathe? He straightened and mentally went over the details, the probabilities they’d calculated, and he tried to speak again. “Is it safe to?” he whispered, glancing around them. “Here?” They were surrounded by grass, trees, the morning birds; there were no people around yet.

But Luuk shook his head at his own question. “Right. Here’s the building. We go in, and we lock things up, make sure he can’t— so he won’t—“ Luuk swallowed hard. If he stopped to think about it, he would panic about how badly his hands were shaking, how frazzled he looked. If things went awry, they would be murdering someone today. Even if that meant their freedom, Luuk could never count that as a victory.

Cut it out, he told himself. Worrying now would only lead to mistakes, and despite how his veins were ablaze with anxiety, he knew he had to calm down. “You’ll call him,” he continued after drawing a breath. “Tell him to meet you here. Alone. In the meantime, we'll mark ourselves, with magic, for when he comes. In case. And then we wait.” And hope no one else came in and got themselves killed— No, it wasn’t worth the thought. They had already worked through what would happen then, which lives they’d have to bargain for their own. Luuk didn’t want to consider it again. “We’ll talk,” he went on, then corrected himself. “You’ll talk. I’ll use magic to get rid of the doors and windows entirely, temporarily, until we’re… done. You’ll get the information we’re after, and then you’ll… use the mark. To get rid of his memories. Painless. He won’t remember we even exist, so he won’t want to… to kill us… then.”

It was easy, in words. Natalie had taught him how to erase someone’s memories, a skill she hadn’t wanted to pass on, a skill that was beyond what we was capable of just yet. He remembered what she’d said, what she’d taught, and he’d practiced the sigils, even if he hadn’t dared try to perform the dark magic himself. If anything happened to Natalie, it would fall on him— No, he told himself. No, nothing would happen to Natalie. They couldn’t fail.

Luuk took another breath. There was so much he was leaving out, but his thoughts whirred too loudly for him to focus. He removed a crumbled piece of paper from his pocket, a list for himself, written in a code he had created. Reminders. What to do. The order to do it in. When he couldn’t trust his own mind, he needed backup plans, and this was the best he could manage. He skimmed his notes and muttered a “Yeah” to himself. “That’s the gist of it. We should start on the locks now. We don’t have much time before you need to call him.”

[Namingtoohard]

A big part of the reason Natalie had wanted to go over the plan was that she found the repetition soothing. Every successful recital made it feel like they really were prepared for what they would have to face today. That it was nothing they couldn’t handle. It helped build up her confidence, and ease the tension that had crept into her shoulders over the past couple of weeks. As Luuk stuttered and mumbled his way through another rendition, however, Natalie found herself wondering. She could hardly blame him for being nervous, and he made it through the plan despite her concerns. That wasn’t the issue. Rather, she was surprised that she felt as calm as she did. Maybe it was because she had already lived through this nightmare once. Or maybe it was because she was ready for this to be over, regardless of the outcome.

“Right.” Natalie’s confirmation was brief, and served as approval and agreement both. With nothing else for it, she abandoned pretence and began to pick up the pace a little, striding towards the building they had chosen for their plan. On the outside, it looked the same as all the others they’d passed today – or rather, it was different, but in a way that matched. Natalie didn’t have to look for an entrance; she knew enough from the maps they’d devoted hours to studying. She cut a path straight for the front door and quickly made her way inside, trusting Luuk to follow.

The foyer looked more or less like Natalie had expected. An open space, decorated in a manner best referred to as ‘sensible.’ Aside from the walkways and doors leading to different classrooms, there wasn’t much of note. A few tables and chairs were scattered about, tucked into corners where they wouldn’t impede students hurrying between classes. The walls were lined with scenic photographs, nonsensical artwork, informational posters, and the occasional flyer, spaced out by a handful of potted plants. As Natalie took it in, she couldn’t help but take note of a few scattered students who were already passing through, despite the early hour. Their presence was concerning, but not unexpected. After a few moments, Natalie would throw a sideways glance at her companion, and suggest that the two of them find an empty classroom somewhere to prepare.

Once the two of them found their haven, Natalie was sure to lock the door behind them, and pull the blind down over the window. After that, she made her way over to the nearest desk, and began emptying her pockets. Dozens of markers spilled out across it, all of them different types and styles and sizes. Many of them rolled away from her, drawing precariously close to the edges, but Natalie paid them no mind. She’d packed almost as many as she could carry, just to make sure that they didn’t have to worry about a lack of materials. There were only two things she kept tucked away for the moment – her phone, and her trump card, taken from the small jewellery box she’d carted around this entire time. One would come into play later. The other…well, hopefully not at all.

With an air of ceremony, Natalie slipped off her jacket, and draped it over the back of a nearby chair. Rolled up the sleeves of the shirt she wore beneath, and dropped into the same seat. Reached out, selected a marker from the stack, popped the cap off, and got to work.

She’d begin to inscribe the sigils on her arms, one after another. Apparently her years of practice had served her well – even now, in a situation such as this, a few breaths was all it took to dampen her nerves and steady her hands. She started with the most basic of runes. Those that would allow them to lock and unlock all the doors and windows as necessary. Once Natalie was done with those, she moved on to a few of the more complex ones. Niche sigils that didn’t have a specific place in her plan, but might be useful regardless, if things went off the rails. Then, at long last, she turned her attention to the centrepiece. She began to paint the one sigil she’d swore she would never use again. One that would allow her to erase the memories of whoever she touched.

This one was much more complex than the rest. Whilst most sigils used just a single circle, this one used five. They were layered over each other, the edges interlocking like some sort of bizarre Venn Diagram. Several of the guiding lines she painted passed through all of them, intersecting and splitting at different points. Natalie put this one in the palm of her right hand, having intentionally saved that spot for this purpose. A place where she had enough space to work, and it would be easy to use. It wasn’t the most complex thing she’d ever crafted, but it was close. Easily the most advanced thing she’d shown Luuk thus far. When she was done, Natalie let out a shaky breath, and set her marker down with a soft clack.

“Alright. I think I’m done.” Natalie took a brief moment to cast a wandering eye over her work, double-checking it for potential flaws. After touching up a few of the edges briefly, she’d turn her attention to Luuk good and proper. “How are you going? I think we’ve moved past the need for me to examine every sigil you make, but if you want me to double-check this one time, for a bit of added safety…well, just let me know.”

Once they were both satisfied, Natalie could find no more reason to delay.. She’d reach into her pocket, and withdraw her phone. Careful to avoid smudging any of the fresh sigils, she’d turn her gaze to Luuk once more. She’d meet his eyes, just for a moment, before giving him a single, resolute nod. Mustering up her resolve, she hit the call button and lifted the phone to her ear, before she could delay it any longer. With baited breath, she listened to it ring for one moment…then two…then three…and then the person at the other end of the line answered. Before she could speak, she was greeted by the same, distorted voice that was always on the other end.

“Natalie. What a pleasant surprise.” Even now, the sound of it was enough to send shivers down her spine.

“I’m tired of this. I want to meet.”

“You broke the rules, Natalie. You know what that means. That’s why you’ve been hiding all this time, isn’t it?”

“It’s not just about me anymore.” The words didn’t come out as strongly as she’d wanted. When had her throat gotten so dry?

“Gotten attached to the boy, have you? How quaint. You were the one who got him involved in all of this.” The words stung, because they were true.

“Gloucestershire university. Luzerne Hall.” She paused briefly to glance at her watch. “An hour and a half from now.” For a long moment, there was silence. Doubt began to creep into Natalie’s mind. Had she ruined their chances by pressing too hard? Then, at last, the other voice spoke.

“…Very well.”

Before she had the chance to speak again, the line went dead. Natalie lowered the phone slowly ,before tucking it into her pocket, and directing her attention back towards Luuk.

“There’s no turning back now. We’re officially on the clock.” Moving with a new sense of urgency, Natalie would take a moment to shove a few of the markers back into her pockets, just in case. “We’ll head out in different directions, so we can cover as much ground as possible. Loop our way around until we both meet back in the foyer. Sound good?”

[Ashen]

Drawing decorated circles into his skin was a kind of therapy at this point. Every mark had particular rules, lines he had to make, lengths he had to meet, etches he had to include, and it all came together to create perfect sigils that would do specific things. Luuk had practiced these marks enough times to no longer need help, and he didn’t have to second-guess his handiwork. All he had to do was make the marks, one by one: a sign for the doors, one for the windows, one to make a weapon out of the things around him—only in case, of course. The five-circle sigil was last, the one he hadn’t intended to use and the one Natalie had hoped he wouldn’t need either. This one wasn’t practiced, but he’d brought notes with him on how to make it, and he followed them closely. Finally done with all of his marks, he showed his work to Natalie, feeling slightly better now that his mind had had something to focus on. When she approved of his signs with a nod, they moved right on.

Then came time for Natalie’s dreaded phone call. As she dialed the number she must have had memorized by now, Luuk moved towards the windows in the room to get started. While she spoke to their attacker, he was going to reinforce the windows to make them impossible to break through and escape from. However, Luuk found himself pausing to listen to the conversation taking place behind him instead. He could barely make out the voice on the other end of the line, muffled and quiet as it was, but for some reason, it sounded oddly familiar to him. If he could just place that voice, maybe he’d know what to expect, and he would be able to warn Natalie. He turned to look at her, and he saw her nerves finally start to get to her. This man had kept her chained for so long that the mere sound of his voice did this to her… Luuk’s hands balled to fists. Anxious as he was about this plan, he wanted nothing more than for this to be over.

By the time he realized he wasn’t working on the windows anymore, Natalie’s call was over. Luuk shifted, embarrassed to have gotten so distracted, and he turned his attention back to what he was doing. Now, they only had a limited amount of time to get all their preparations ready for their confrontation in an hour and a half. Just an hour and a half to prepare for what would probably be the worst day of his life.

The two split up and went through the motions of their plan. Despite the nerves shaking his hands, Luuk got through everything he needed to, thankful to turn his focus onto something tangible. He applied his magic to all of the exits and double-checked for people wandering the halls, people who might interfere. He spotted an old art professor in one of the classrooms on the second floor, an elderly woman who had always been far too chatty, and he all but leapt out of the hallway to avoid being seen by her. Any other time, he would have loved to stay and chat, but he didn’t have the time, and besides, he didn’t know where to begin. He wanted to tell her to leave, to get to the other side of campus, or better yet, to find a way to use his magic to move her across the country, far away from here where she couldn’t get hurt, couldn’t ask questions. Luuk swallowed the impossibility and snuck around her, eager to finish preparing and head back to Natalie.

Luuk easily lost track of time, so he was surprised when he checked his phone and saw that he had only a few minutes before Natalie’s keeper was supposed to arrive. He made his way back to their rendezvous point, a classroom near the front—and currently only unlocked—entrance of the building. Natalie was already waiting there, an odd calm evening her features. He wished he could mimic her composure, stop himself from shaking. This close to their meeting, Luuk was surprised at how much better he felt, but still he dreaded what would happen, who they would meet when the time came. He took in a deep breath, settled next to Natalie, and turned his gaze to the front door. “Now, we wait,” he said quietly.

All the scenarios they had planned for seemed unlikely now that he was actually here. He didn’t know how this would go down, but there was no turning back now. In just a few minutes, whatever happened, their lives would be forever changed. All Luuk could think was how desperately he wanted it all to be over.

And finally, at the exact moment Natalie had specified, the door opened. They both turned sharply and braced themselves for who would walk into the building. They’d prepared for an army, for weapons, for whatever they’d be up against, but they hadn’t prepared for this. Standing in the lobby across from them was a middle-aged balding man with dark, bespectacled eyes and what Luuk had always considered a kind, caring smile. This was the man Luuk had trusted most over these past six years, the last man Luuk could have suspected to be here.

“Dr. V?” Luuk started towards the door, panic spilling across his face. The professor wasn’t supposed to be here; their assailant was going to be here any moment, and Luuk couldn’t predict what would happen to Dr. V once he arrived. Luuk didn’t even know what the man was doing here; he taught in a different hall, and his first class wasn’t for another couple hours, and… Luuk saw the smirk crawl across his professor’s face. The voice on the phone.

Dr. V glanced at Natalie before turning his attention fully to Luuk. “My favorite student,” he greeted. “You’ve been a great help in all of this, haven’t you?”

Luuk took a subconscious step away from Dr. V. Disbelief clouded his eyes. “I—I don’t understand.”

The old professor smiled. “For someone with grades as impressive as yours, Luuk, you certainly are clueless. I had my suspicions, of course, but your paper about your parents confirmed exactly what you are. I never suspected you would lead me straight to Natalie, too. I was happy to get rid of one mage, but you made it so easy to find you both.” He turned to Natalie. “Did you really think I didn’t know where you were when you had such a loose-lipped rat living with you?”

“H-hey!” Luuk shouted, startled. He was trying to piece things together, trying to work out what Dr. V was saying. He had always trusted Dr. V. Could that trust have put both him and Natalie in danger? No, this couldn’t have been happening.

Dr. V regarded Luuk again with a disinterested sigh. “I should have done this a long time ago,” he admitted. “You mages are nothing but trouble for the rest of us, and I should have squashed you all when I had the chance.” He sighed again. “No matter. This will go on no longer.”

In the next moment, Dr. V pulled a revolver from his pocket to point straight at Natalie’s head.

[Namingtoohard]

When Luuk headed off in one direction, Natalie made good on her earlier suggestion and quickly set out in the other. She power-walked down the hallway, determined to toe the line between haste and discretion as much as possible. Every time she passed a doorway, she stopped to try the handle quickly. Those that were already locked, Natalie left alone. Whenever one yielded to her touch, however, Natalie quickly slipped inside, and set about locking it down. She sealed and reinforced all the windows, just as they had planned, and even went so far as to test each one before moving on.

Natalie encountered a few bathrooms and lecture halls, but most of the rooms she came upon were classrooms. Whilst she had passed a few stragglers, these were all empty, much to her relief. If she had stumbled upon any students who had taken it upon themselves to squeeze in a little bit of early morning study, Natalie had no idea what she would’ve done. She didn’t want to leave any openings, but she wasn’t sure what she could say that would make them leave without sounding suspicious. If an unfortunate encounter led to a student asking questions, or reporting her to faculty, then their entire plan might go up in smoke.

It wasn’t long before Natalie found a semblance of rhythm within her work, and began to calm a little. The phone call with her ‘parole officer’ had rattled her more than she ever would’ve admitted to Luuk, and the chance to focus on her craft without company or distractions provided welcome relief. The clear sense of purpose provided by their goal and the familiar motions she used helped the mage steady herself, despite their looming confrontation. Helped her find the peace of mind and level-headedness that she would require if they were going to survive this encounter. There was a decent chance any sort of calm would evaporate as soon as she came face-to-face with their assailant, admittedly, but…well, Natalie thought it better to come in prepared, just in case her nerves didn’t fail her.

When Natalie finally made it back to the entrance hall, the first thing she did was look around for Luuk. It didn’t take long for her to establish that she was the first person to return to their designated meeting point. No matter. He was probably still working. There was every chance that he had gotten stuck with a bigger area to cover, or her experience had allowed her to work faster, or he had gotten held up by someone. There was no cause for concern yet. For the first time since they’d left the classroom, Natalie dared to reach for her phone, so that she might check the time. The white numbers displayed along the top of the screen informed her that they still had twelve minutes or so before the big moment. With nothing better to do, she picked a vacant section of the room with a good view of the front door, and settled down to wait.

As the minutes crawled by, and Luuk failed to reappear, Natalie had to squash the lingering doubt that something had gone wrong. She began to review their plan over and over in her head, just to avoid thinking about the possibility that something had happened to Luuk. When he did arrive, she greeted him with a small smile and a solemn nod. Another quick glance at her phone suggested that they only had a few minutes to go. Natalie was surprised at how calmly her mind accepted that fact. It was like getting a needle as a little kid, she supposed – the wait had been worse than the moment itself. Now, the front door swung open, officially bringing the hard part to an end. The time had come, and this would all come to an end. One way or another.

The moment she saw their assailant, all of Natalie’s composure fled. She turned to face the open door, just in time to freeze when she saw who it was that had entered. She knew that face. It had been several long years since their last meeting, and he’d aged considerably in that time, but that didn’t change facts. The curve of his nose and the line of his jaw were exactly the same. As were those dark little eyes, tucked away behind a set of spectacles that did nothing to disguise the condescension and hatred that lurked within. The mere sight of him, the sound of his voice, was enough to drag up an overwhelming number of unpleasant memories within Natalie’s mind. She could hear him talking, could hear Luuk answering. Knew that she needed to pay attention. All of a sudden, though, it sounded as if their voices were coming from very far away.

The small snippets that her mind acknowledged were enough for the last few puzzle pieces to click into place. History had a funny way of repeating itself, and now, after so long, they’d come full circle. The same circumstances. The same crimes. The same three people, standing on the same sides…almost. Luuk’s mother was gone, but here he stood, filling her shoes. The most fitting stand-in the universe could have provided, and he was probably the only one who didn’t know it. She needed to tell him. She owed him that much. Just in case things turned out the same way they had last time. She hoped they didn’t.

No. She’d make sure they didn’t.

“Luuk.” Natalie called his name, instead of paying any real attention to the bile that Dr. V was spewing. She mustered up her resolve, even as he produced a gun, and pointed it directly at her head. Natalie’s eyes never left the barrel, even as her hands clenched into fists by her sides. She couldn’t be sure this was a good idea, given how volatile their situation, but the words slipped out before she could stop them. “He’s the one who shot your mother.”

With that off her chest, Natalie could finally focus on the more imminent problem. Whilst Luuk was busy digesting this new information, she tried to come up with a way out of this situation. They hadn’t planned for such a terrible start, so it was time for her to improvise. Her eyes searched the room, looking for anything that could be of use. Any sort of sudden movement on her part would probably just startle Dr. V into pulling the trigger, but…well, if she just waited and did nothing, he was certain to pull it eventually. Perhaps he’d been working remotely for so long that he was out of practice, or maybe she could move so suddenly that it would throw off his aim. It wasn’t a gamble that Natalie particularly wanted to take. The odds seemed incredibly low, and the stakes incredibly high, but…well, a slim chance was better than none at all.

Without any sort of warning, Natalie lunged to her left. Away from Luuk, and towards something that she’d spotted before – a fire alarm, mounted to the near wall innocently. The sound of the gun going off was unbearably loud indoors, but Natalie didn’t feel any sudden, sharp pain; an absence she could only take to mean that her gamble had paid off. She pulled the lever down hard, and the reaction was immediate. An alarm that echoed throughout the entire building, warning everyone to evacuate. With any luck, any remaining innocents who were still in the building would be making their way here, towards the exit. By leaving, they’d get themselves out of the line of fire…and just as importantly, Dr. V would be expected to join them. He’d had to hide his gun away, leave alongside them, or risk being outed.

Without waiting to see what course of action he’d decide to take, Natalie reversed directions, sprinting back towards Luuk as quickly as she could move. “Go!” She’d scream the word at the top of her lungs, just as she gave him a powerful shove in the direction of the nearest door; the closest thing they could use to break line of sight. Hopefully that would be enough to get him moving, no matter how shell-shocked he was feeling. Hopefully they’d be able to get away before Dr. V. squeezed off another, better-aimed shot. She hated this, hated risking so much on chance, but Natalie had stacked the deck as much as she was able. She’d just have to hope that it was enough.

[Ashen]

Despite the severity of the situation, Luuk could no longer pay any attention to Natalie. His focus was on the man in front of him, the man who had been his mentor—no, closer to a father—for the past six years. How many hours had Luuk spent in his professor’s office, talking about everything under the sun? How many things had Dr. V helped him with, school-related and otherwise? With the exception of his foster parents, Dr. V had been the person Luuk trusted most. He had intended to keep up with him, reach out regularly for years, for decades, sharing stories over cups of coffee or rants about some history channel’s inaccurate portrayal of some war, or some philosophical ramble inspired by an overheard conversation, anything at all. Luuk had wanted Dr. V to remain a friend for life. But now, as Luuk stood before the older man, the student could feel nothing but the sting of betrayal.

His name was a command in Natalie’s mouth, and though he did not turn to face her, he grew still, listening to her. What she was saying… Could it have been true? Could Dr. V really have been the reason his own mother was dead? He looked back to Dr. V, who only responded to Natalie’s accusation with a sick smile. His gun was still pointed at her, and he looked at Luuk, as if daring him to retaliate. If Luuk’s mother had died in a situation like this, then the chances of him following her footsteps were all too likely now. Isn’t that what he’d always dreamt of? Being close to her? Making her proud? …Avenging her?

Anger burned within Luuk’s veins. He had had no memories before the age of fifteen. His entire childhood, and the parents who had ensured he’d been brought up well, had been taken from him by this man. The man who had pretended to like him. The man who had used him. The man who intended to kill him and Natalie both. The man who would pay for what he’d done.

Unlike the last time he’d had a gun in his face, Luuk wasn’t afraid anymore. His terror had turned to rage, and he stepped towards Dr. V with a strange calm. Common sense abandoned him; he wanted nothing more than to take out his frustrations on this villain regardless of the consequences. If he had to take a bullet to avenge his mother, he was willing to do so. Luckily, Natalie was smarter—and faster. The shot Dr. V fired echoed through the tall building, but the sound was quickly overpowered by the fire alarm. The shrill screams of the old bells would summon any teachers or custodians unfortunate enough to be in the building. Natalie was trying to get them out of danger, but this was not the plan. If they evacuated, they would be spared the gunshots, but Dr. V would escape, and this game would continue. No. Luuk couldn’t accept that.

Dr. V was trapped, and he knew it. In just a few moments, people would join them in this lobby, and they would catch him with a gun. If he didn’t bail now, he’d be in trouble, but he needed to put an end to this before Natalie and her pet caused more problems for him. He swore, anger flashing across his expression. His gaze fell to the stairwell as he tried to determine how much time he had. He was distracted. It was the perfect time to act.

But Natalie had other plans. Her scream told Luuk to move, to get free, but his feet remained firmly planted on the floor, even as she tried to push him. “No,” he said, quiet voice not at all audible over the alarm. They had Dr. V where they needed him, and they’d had a plan that involved staying here. The threat of a gun shouldn’t have changed that. If Luuk’s mother had been willing to die for this, then…then Luuk was, too. He owed it to her.

Stubborn, Luuk charged towards Dr. V, who turned his gun towards the erratic student. The second bullet was drowned out by the fire alarm, and it lodged itself in the wall behind Luuk, a miss. Luuk took the opportunity to throw Dr. V against the wall, where he struggled for the man’s gun. Dr. V refused to yield, however, and he kicked at Luuk. When the student staggered back, Dr. V took aim again.

“…Thomas?”

They both looked towards the stairwell, where little Dr. Hansen was standing, clutching the rail. The art professor had wandered down to heed the fire alarm, but now, her eyes grew wide, and she located the gun in her fellow professor’s hands. Luuk wanted to call out to her, tell her to leave before Dr. V turned his sights to her, but his voice was lost somewhere in his throat. Maybe this was a good thing. If they made it out alive, then maybe Dr. Hansen could vouch for them. It was unlikely, but it was the only saving grace he could find in this impossible situation.

With his attention on Dr. Hansen, Luuk was suddenly thrown to the floor, and in the next second, Dr. V was on top of him, pinning him. “That’s enough,” he growled, voice dripping with desperation. A criminal red-handed, he saw no need to hold back, now. “All you’ve ever done is gotten in my way,” he continued, pointing his gun straight at Luuk’s chest. “Stop getting in my way.”

Luuk swallowed. Trapped, this was how he would die. If he had just followed Natalie outside, he could have escaped this. No, he thought, there was no use thinking of that now. Maybe Natalie could use this opportunity to act. With Dr. V so focused on him, maybe Dr. Hansen could call for help, or maybe Natalie could skip the conversation and go directly to the last step of their plan: wiping the professor’s memories of all things magic. In Dr. V’s single-sighted rage, maybe Luuk and Natalie could finally put the battle against their kind to an end.

[Namingtoohard]

The resistance Luuk offered was entirely unexpected. Natalie had planned on her shove sending her young ward stumbling ahead. Planned on her momentum carrying them both through the next few steps, until Luuk caught on and began to run. She had been hoping that the two of them would be able to get around the corner, find some relative safety, and reassess the situation. Figure out a way to flip the script on Thomas Vetere, and carry out their original plan. Even if they couldn’t come up with an appropriate solution, and had to settle for escape, they had shifted the odds in their favour today. Now they knew the identity of the person hunting them, and could plan accordingly. Get the drop on him, for once, instead of hiding and waiting. As long as they survived, they could consider today a victory, regardless of the outcome.

Instead, Natalie did the physical equivalent of running into a brick wall. Given the way Luuk had planted his feet, she practically bounced off him, her momentum cut short when he refused to yield. Had their situation been any less dire, she might have been amused by her own failure. By her tendency to think of Luuk as a child under her protection instead of a grown adult, every bit her equal, despite what her eyes were telling her. Despite the obvious reality. Under the current circumstances, however, she could do nothing but worry at what this delay would mean for them, and scramble for another idea.

She was forced to watch as Luuk finally began to move, but he didn’t run away, towards safety, as she might have hoped. Instead, he sprinted towards their aggressor, and the deadly piece of metal in his hand. Natalie opened her mouth, felt a scream rip itself free from her throat. The sound was lost, however, drowned out by the continuous ringing of the fire alarm’s bells. She saw the gun in his hand jump, heard the bang over the alarm, and flinched. Braced herself for the pain that would inevitably follow – be it the physical agony of a wound, or the mental anguish of watching Luuk die, and knowing that she had caused it.

When neither happened, Natalie’s relief was palpable, but it soon proved short-lived. After that, everything seemed to happen at once. Luuk pinned the professor to the wall, only to get kicked back before he could wrest away control of the weapon. Another teacher stumbled into the room, but her arrival proved more detrimental than helpful, distracting Luuk without deterring Dr. V. Luuk was thrown to the ground, pinned beneath their adversary, who pointed the gun at him, and growled a few words Natalie was unable to hear. The last was the thing that finally spurred Natalie back into motion. She couldn’t afford to watch, shell-shocked, whilst Luuk risked his life. She had to do something to help. Now.

Natalie broke out into another sprint, charging directly at the two entangled fighters. Apparently the sound of the fire alarm was enough to mask her footsteps, or Dr. V simply didn’t care, because he kept his attention focused on Luuk, instead of pointing the gun at her. In the few seconds she took to cross the room, Natalie considered her options. She could try and wipe Dr. V’s memory now, but if the spell took more than half a second to take hold, then he could still pull the trigger. She couldn’t risk that. She could try and throw him off, but that had the same problem. No. She had to grab his arm, try and wrestle the gun away, just like Luuk had been trying to do earlier. His long sleeves meant that she couldn’t wipe his memory at the same time, and there was a chance she’d ruin the sigil on her hand, but that wouldn’t matter if she lost Luuk now. She had to risk it. They’d just have to deal with the consequences later.

Natalie hit Vetere from the side, throwing the entirety of her body’s weight against his, whilst both of her hands reached for the gun. Despite her momentum, she didn’t have enough force to throw him to the ground, like she might have wanted. It was enough to throw him off balance, but no more. Both of her hands closed around his arm – one around his wrist, and the other around his forearm. She pushed hard, trying to turn the gun away from Luuk, just in time for it to go off again. This close, the sound of it discharging was deafening, but that was the least of her concerns. Thankfully, he missed again. The bullet buried itself in the floor, just a hair’s breadth away from Luuk’s chest.

Spurred on by this minor success, Natalie redoubled her efforts to twist the gun away. Slowly, inch by inch, the barrel moved further and further from Luuk. Had her hearing not been compromised, Natalie might have heard the professor growl in frustration. Before he could wrest full control from him, though, he retaliated in violent fashion. Vetere lashed out with his other arm, driving his elbow into the side of Natalie’s face. Her head snapped back and her vision exploded into stars, pain radiating outwards from the point of impact. Natalie recoiled on instinct, grip slipping momentarily, but she quickly rebelled against the instinct, and struggled to reassert control.

A flurry of movement, caught out of the corner of her eye, let Natalie know that Dr. Hansen had fled. She couldn’t be sure if the woman had fled out of fear or was going to find help, and which side she was planning on assisting. It didn’t matter. Natalie wasn’t willing to trust the outcome to her, even if she was trying to help them. She was more glad that the woman was out of harm’s way. Hopefully the rest of the building was empty, and nobody else would show up to take her place, despite the alarm.

While she continued to struggle against Vetere, Natalie threw a glance down towards Luuk, trying to assess what sort of state he was in, and what he was trying to do. The way Natalie saw it, the fact that there were two of them was one of their biggest advantages right now. If she could keep Dr. V from pointing the gun at either of them, then maybe Luuk could find a way to capitalize on their situation. They couldn’t speak any plans out loud without giving them away, but if she could pick up more subtle clues, then that’d be enough. All she needed to do was get a rough idea of what Luuk intended, and then she’d figure out a way to help. Maybe a coordinated effort would be enough for the two of them to throw the professor off him, since Natalie hadn’t been strong enough to do it alone.

[Ashen]

Time moved at a snail’s pace, yet all at once, and as Natalie fought with Dr. V, Luuk found himself momentarily paralyzed, trying to reassess the situation. The gunshots that kept popping off around him terrified him, but his adrenaline was louder than his fear, and his need for justice, for safety, for his life to be his own spurred him. Dr. V was faltering. Luuk could see it in the erratic ways he moved, how he hit Natalie and scrambled for his gun. The older man hadn’t been expecting this meeting to be so complicated, and Luuk was determined to not stop fighting until he and Natalie had what they had come for.

It was difficult watching the professor attack Natalie, and Luuk cringed at the sight of blood staining her skin. His own body was alight with bruises he could not yet feel, but if he didn’t keep pushing himself, it wouldn’t matter how wounded they were. Repeatedly charging at Dr. V wasn’t working, and the plan they had prepared was in shatters. Luuk tried to plan amid the deafening screeches of the alarm and the murderous man moving beside him. They needed to wipe Dr. V’s memories; Natalie and Luuk had agreed it was the only way to get out of this, the only way to not live the rest of their lives in fear, controlled by someone else. But how were they going to get close enough to Dr. V without him turning his gun to them? Dr. V knew how their magic worked; distracted as he was, he would not let them get close enough to touch him. They had to keep trying to get the gun away from him, to immobilize him somehow…

Luuk noticed the radiator near where Dr. V was standing, and he formed another plan. He wasn’t trying to kill him, exactly, but a head wound like that would at least stop him from fighting back so hard, and it would let them get close to him so they could get this over with. So Luuk charged into his professor, aiming for the radiator behind them, hoping to get Dr. V to fall onto the metal. But Dr. V had seen it coming, even with his attention on Natalie, and he tossed Luuk away before he made contact, as if he were nothing but an overeager puppy. He pointed his gun at him again, and his lips moved, but Luuk couldn’t hear him over the alarm and the drumming pain in his own skull. Luuk got up quickly, and he moved again to throw Dr. V against the radiator, but once again he was thrown away. He looked to Natalie, who was also trying and failing to get Dr. V to move.

He longed to communicate with her. The fact that they were paired was their greatest advantage, and if they could just come up with a quick new plan together, Luuk was sure they could finish this. Dr. V wouldn’t be able to hold them back forever, and if they kept trying—

The sound of the pistol smacking against Natalie’s temple startled Luuk, who immediately reached out to grab her, but he stopped himself. Dr. V was focused on her, yelling at her, as her eyes drifted shut and she fought to remain conscious. The blood already leaking from the side of her head scared him, but Luuk couldn’t focus on that now. Whatever damage Dr. V had already done would be worse if he didn’t use this opportunity to do something.

Luuk glanced at his hands, at the mark peeking from his sleeve, the one he’d been careful to not smear. It had been a safety net, something they hadn’t intended to use, or he hadn’t, not really. He’d assumed Natalie would be the one to do it. She’d done it before, and she had years—decades—of experience he didn’t. What if he messed this up? But with Natalie barely responsive, there was no time for doubt. It was on him now to use this mark, their magic, to erase mages from Dr. V’s memories, to ensure they would not be persecuted like this again. It was a long road ahead of them, and Luuk didn’t quite know what it would look like, but the first step was this leap, and ready or not, it fell on him to make it.

With Dr. V still turned to Natalie, Luuk crept up behind him, and he pretended for his own sake to not notice that the gun was pointed at Natalie’s head. He grabbed Dr. V’s arm, and ignoring the gun in the other hand now pointed at him, he wrestled the man. He firmly wrapped his fingers around Dr. V’s wrist, struggling to keep hold as the man desperately tried to scramble away. If Luuk could just keep contact long enough, this would be over.

Each carefully-inked line of the mark unwove itself to reach towards Dr. V’s skin, sinking into his pores to rewrite the history of a human being. Luuk imagined the man’s life unraveling before his eyes, but he tried not to think of the consequences of their meddling. Dr. V was trying to kill them, had kept them caged like animals for a decade; he was undeserving of their pity. Luuk opened his eyes to meet Dr. V’s dark gaze behind his fogged frames. He’d stopped fighting, and he resigned himself to Luuk’s touch. Luuk didn’t notice his free arm wrap around his back, didn’t notice the gun until it was pressed against his shirt.

This shot was much louder than the fire alarm, and it distorted Luuk’s vision in a kaleidoscope of red and black. His grip on Dr. V loosened as he slumped to the floor, twitching. The world was getting much harder to make sense of, and Luuk struggled to remember where he was, where he was going. The constant blearing of the alarm grounded him, but he could still feel himself drifting. He couldn’t move, but he squinted to locate Dr. V. The professor stood here, dazed, studying his arm as if seeing it for the first time. The hatred had faded from his eyes, and he looked…innocent. Had it worked? Had Luuk’s magic actually worked? If only he’d been a bit quicker, had hesitated just a second less, he might have survived to enjoy the pride of his accomplishment.

His body was turning to cement, too heavy for him to lift, and he felt the thick liquid crawl up his back through his shirt. Ignoring the pain, Luuk located Natalie, who looked like she was coming to. If she would be alright, then their plight wouldn’t have been for nothing. His sacrifice wouldn’t have been for nothing. Luuk smiled. He could live with—die with—that satisfaction.

He was quickly bleeding out. The bullet had entered through his back to come out below his shoulder, and his blood was already pooling around him, spreading out to drench the floor of the hall. Dr. Hansen was on her way back with help, and an ambulance had already been called, but she would be too late. Luuk needed help now, within these next few seconds, from a trained surgeon who could stop the bleeding. There was only one person in the world who could help him now, and as she shook the unconsciousness from her bones, his chances grew ever slimmer.

[Namingtoohard]

Natalie never saw the strike from the pistol coming. Not truly. The professor changed tactics and swung it at her head so suddenly that she didn’t realise what was happening until it was too late. Instinct alone urged her to pull back, to try and twist out of the way, but it wasn’t enough. The cold steel of the gun’s handle struck Natalie’s temple with enough sheer force to make her head snap back again. It was enough to make her release her grip on Dr. V unwillingly, and stumble back a few small steps.

Oddly enough, Natalie didn’t feel any pain at first. In fact, she didn’t realise that she’d been hit at all. She was too preoccupied with the way her hearing seemed to fade, and her vision started to swim. It exploded into a random assortment of shapes and colours, only loosely related to what she was actually seeing. The strike, delivered to such a sensitive area, had robbed her of the mental acuity necessary to make such an obvious connection. Natalie had no idea that her balance was failing, or that her limbs weren’t responding the way she thought. She had no idea that there was a disconnect between her mind and her body at all. She had no idea that the professor was yelling at her, or pointing the gun at her properly now.

Natalie didn’t realise any of these things until several moments later, when her brain finished rebooting, and her awareness finally started to return. When the sound of the fire alarm began to start up again, and the strange shapes she was seeing began to form recognisable objects again. The pain was quick to follow, sharp and bright. Debilitating in its intensity. Against her own better judgement, Natalie raised a hand to her temple. The slightest brush of her fingers made the pain intensify so much it felt like her head was splitting open, and she wasn’t surprised at all when her hand came away bloody. Only afterwards did she remember Luuk, and the professor. Remember the imminent danger they were in. Even so, it took her much too long to muster up the willpower necessary to bury the pain. To shove it to the back of her mind, and focus on her surroundings again.

The first thing her gaze settled on was the professor. Dr. V stood just a few paces away, not far from where they’d been struggling earlier. His expression was free of the malice and condescension that Natalie had come to expect. Gone was the naked hatred that had haunted her for years, replaced by empty confusion. It was a look Natalie was uncomfortably familiar with. The expression of someone who had just had their memories wiped, and hadn’t been given any replacements. The fact that Dr. V had dropped his gun and wasn’t making any effort to retrieve it seemed to confirm her growing suspicions. Hope blossomed inside her, unfurling like a flower. Luuk had done it, somehow.

Luuk. As soon as his name passed through her mind, Natalie’s priorities shifted. Her growing relief was smothered by the urgent, almost frantic need to find him. It didn’t take her long. Natalie turned, and there he was, lying on the floor nearby. She rushed over as fast as her body would carry her. Fell to her knees alongside his prone form, paying no mind to the blood, and the stains it would leave. The expression on his face was oddly serene, but there was no mistaking the growing pool of red, or the ragged hole the bullet had left. Natalie didn’t need to look to know it was bad, but she did anyway, and the sight was enough to make her breath catch in her throat.

No. No. She couldn’t lose Luuk. Not now. Not so close to the end. He had just managed to win them their freedom singlehandedly, and this was his reward? That wasn’t fair. It hadn’t been fair to Tess, and it wasn’t fair to him. She had to do something. Think of a solution. There was nobody else around except Dr. V, and he wasn’t going to be helping anyone, so it had to be her. What could she do? First Aid wouldn’t be enough, but she couldn’t use her magic to heal him. Better mages than she had tried, back when magic had still been commonplace, but the human body was simply too complex. It was infinitely easier to break it than to fix it.

Natalie realised that she was starting to panic, and forced herself to take a deep breath. Luuk didn’t have much time, but she wouldn’t be able to help him at all if she lost control. Once she’d forced herself to adopt a semblance of calm, she began to think through her options. The university was bound to have a first aid kit nearby – they were required to keep one on the premises by law – but she had no idea where it was. She stuffed her hand into her pockets, began rifling through the abundance of markers in search of her phone, when her fingers found something else. Her last contingency plan. The final ace up her sleeve, taken from the little wooden box that she’d been protecting all this time.

The answer came to Natalie suddenly. Realisation struck like lightning. There was a way she could use magic to save him. She couldn’t use it to heal him, but she could give herself the skills necessary to tend to his wounds. She had everything she needed within easy reach, and it would only take a few seconds of preparation. The personal cost would be extreme, but it didn’t compare to Luuk’s life. It was an afterthought, a bridge she’d cross when she got to it. If Luuk survived, then Natalie would be perfectly happy to deal with the consequences. If not…well, at least she could rest easy, knowing that she’d done all she could.

Feeling oddly at peace now that she had made her decision, Natalie withdrew her final trump card from her pocket. At a glance, it didn’t look like anything special – a lump of clay roughly the same size and shape as a cork, fired to hold its shape. Up close, however, its true purpose was revealed. Carved into its surface were dozens of sigils, all woven together flawlessly. Most of them were too small to understand without a magnifying glass, but Natalie knew their meanings as well as she knew her own hands. Hardly a surprise, considering that she’d carved them herself. It was the most complex piece of magic she’d ever created. A veritable masterwork, designed with a single purpose in mind – to alter her own personal history. For all their planning, she’d never considered using it like this.

Natalie wasted no time in pulling a pen from her pocket. With the stamp held gently in one hand, she pressed the tip into the clay with the other. A few marks, hastily scratched into its surface, were all she needed. Lines that would change the original purpose of her sigils slightly, and dictate the path that her new past would take. Natalie’s ever-steady hands served her well, and after just a brief moment of inspection, she found herself satisfied. Then she took a deep breath, and rolled up one of her sleeves. Before she could start to hesitate, second-guess her chosen course or her work, she jammed the stamp into her arm.

Visually, the effect was similar to what Luuk had done to the professor a few moments ago. The marks began to unwind themselves into Natalie’s skin, but she didn’t notice. Her attention was focused inwards, and the experience proved to be a strange one. She could feel the new memories forming in her mind. They unfurled one after another, as if she were living an entire second life in an instant. As if she’d already lived this life, and simply forgotten about it before now. Most of the new memories were clearly incompatible with her old ones, but Natalie still felt like they belonged to her. The logical part of her mind knew that these new memories were fake, that she’d just implanted them into herself, but the rest of her insisted they were real.

Within these new memories, Natalie found a life in which she’d been born without magical powers. A life in which she’d gone to medical school instead of studying magic. She could recall the knowledge from her lessons, from her time spent working at the hospital, as easily as breathing. Knowledge that she could use to save Luuk. As soon as the disorientation began to fade, she turned her attention to him good and proper, and put it to work.

The blood is pooling beneath him, which suggests an exit wound. The trauma is to his chest, so there’s a big risk of internal organ damage, too. Nothing I can do about that now. The wound might be seal-sucking, so I’ll have to be careful. The last thing he needs is a collapsed lung on top of everything else.

Natalie’s mind rattled off the details and reminded her of important steps almost automatically. Her hands had lost the practiced stillness of a master craftsman, but now she moved with the calm precision of a medical expert, driven by a lifetime of muscle memory. Without missing a beat, she stripped off her jumper and used it to put pressure on the wound, and used the sleeves to bind it as best she could. It was sloppy, but the best she was going to manage without access to proper medical supplies.

Another presence tickled Natalie’s awareness while she was working. She looked up to see that an elderly lady and a young male student had arrived. They both hovered nearby, looking on with horrified expressions. Had the fire alarm brought them here? Had they really only been fighting for a few minutes? Stop. That wasn’t important right now. Natalie quickly called out towards them, ordered the elderly lady to call an ambulance, and the student to bring her the first aid kit. She wasn’t sure if it was the commanding tone of her voice or just the human instinct to help urging them on, but both hurried to obey.

Once they were off, Natalie turned her attention back to her student. He was pale, but that was only to be expected, with so much blood loss. Determined to get him in the recovery position and start tending to the wound on his back, she began repositioning one of his legs and both of his arms. At the same time, she began to speak. Natalie doubted he was responsive, but a little reassurance cost her nothing.

“Can you still hear me, Luuk? You’re going to be just fine. You’re in good hands, and I’ve seen people walk away from worse.” Any other time, that claim would’ve made Natalie pause. She had never actually seen anything of the sort – it was her new memories, still playing havoc with her mind. Against her own better judgement, she embraced the sensation. The skills this mental disparity offered were the only thing keeping Luuk alive right now, and she still had more work to do. She’d worry about the ramifications later, along with everything else, once he was stable.

When the student arrived with the first aid kit, Natalie asked him to set it down alongside her and unroll it. Without missing a beat, she ordered him to help roll Luuk onto his side, and then reached for her new supplies. While her co-opted assistant tried to put pressure on Luuk’s wounds, she set about using the bandages and dressings to patch up the exit wound on his back. When she was done with that, she set about replacing her bloodstained jumper with a proper dressing, too. Her hands were coated Luuk’s blood, wet and sticky enough to hamper her, but Natalie worked tirelessly, until she had done all that she could. Even then, there was no rest. She began a secondary assessment, methodically searching for any less-obvious injuries he might have that she could treat.

When the police cars and ambulances finally got close enough for their sirens to cut through constant buzz of the fire alarms, Natalie felt nothing but relief.

[Ashen]

The first thing Luuk felt when he woke up was an ungodly cold. Bumps spread across his skin like a rumbling herd, and the thin sheet over his body wasn’t doing much to stop them. If he dared to open his eyes, he was sure he would be able to see his breath wisp around him. The next thing Luuk felt once he’d acknowledged the cold was the excruciating pain. His chest erupted in an agonizing sensation that blinded him, and he was sure he’d been ripped open and left to bleed out. He twisted in his bed, trying and failing to soothe the anger in his body. The third thing Luuk felt as he wrestled with his sanity was confusion. Why was he in a bed at all, and where was he, and why was he alive?

Luuk shot up, and the frantic action sent new, sharp pains coursing through his blood. He nearly tore out his own IV with the sudden movement, and that caused him to look to the tubes coming out of his skin. They led to an empty sac by his bed, which was suspended by a machine beeping steadily. He was in a hospital. His painkillers had worn off, because he could hardly hear himself over the burning beats of his own heart. With consciousness only dull white noise to the booming of his pain, Luuk blindly reached for something, anything, a remote, a button, to call a nurse to his side.

When they arrived at his room, they regarded him with cautious grey eyes. “You’re awake,” they breathed, their voice light with their relief. “Oh,” they said, looking beside Luuk to his emptied bag. “Let’s get you something for that pain.” The nurse was quick to replace his drip, and they spoke with him all the while. They were too soft-spoken—or he was in too much pain—for him to hear them, but he appreciated having someone with him while his body trembled. They promised him they would be back soon, and then they left, and Luuk was alone again to try and figure out what had happened.

Within just a few minutes, the pain was easing up, and Luuk could think far more clearly. He remembered what had happened, how he and Natalie had met with her keeper, with his professor, and how he had held them both at gunpoint. How Luuk had been forced to wipe his memories, but not before Dr. V had shot him. The pain that came over him then, and the peace—it should have been fatal. It was fatal. So why was he here now? Luuk couldn’t have gotten to the hospital before he bled out, even if Dr. Hansen had called for an ambulance. He cursed himself for passing out when he had, for not remembering more. Luuk had spent his whole adolescence and adulthood failing to remember, and this was another grievance, another thing that stoked the anger within him. He needed to know what happened.

He needed to talk with Natalie.

When the nurse arrived with a doctor by their side, Luuk was ready with an onslaught of questions. The medical professionals refused to give him answers until after they’d conducted their tests and confirmed his condition was stable, and then they told him what they felt he should know. Natalie was fine; she was here at the hospital too, being looked over by another doctor and being asked questions, endless questions, about what had happened, about the criminal who’d threatened them, about how she’d saved his life with only the shoddy tools available to her and a lifetime of medical know-how—

Luuk’s brows creased, and he stared quizzically at the nurse who’d been speaking. Natalie was a doctor? She had never mentioned anything of the sort. Was that the excuse she was telling people so that she didn’t yet have to disclose her magic? Had she healed him with her magic? Luuk didn’t know how such a thing was possible. His mind reeled with possibilities, but the blooming migraine that his racing thoughts formed sent him back to his pillow, flinching. There was no point in guessing. He’d need to talk directly with Natalie to find out what had happened.

But before he could do that, he had questions of his own to answer. After the doctor and nurse left the room, Luuk was visited by a couple of police officers. They wanted to hear his account of what had happened back in Luzerne Hall, but Luuk explained that his memory was too spotty, and that he was presently too groggy, so they determined Luuk wasn’t going to be much help in their case. With promises to return later, the officers left the room.

Luuk didn’t know how to get a hold of Natalie. He didn’t know where his phone was, or where anything was; he’d been stripped of his bloody clothes and put into this thin hospital gown that left him shivering. He found a blanket in the corner of the room and wrapped himself in it, then tried to untangle the IV from his arm. He was fine, he told himself, and he was eager to find Natalie. Waiting around in this room without answers would hurt far more than any amount of walking around in his state, so bundled in his blanket and shaking, he left his room in search of his teacher.

He didn’t get far. A couple of nurses stopped him and ignored his pleas to let him go, returning him to his bed and reconnecting him to the machines. They would get Natalie for him, they promised, and so he waited, trying not to work himself up too much, and dying to know how she had saved his life.

[Namingtoohard]

Muffled footsteps and the gentle murmur of quiet conversation was all the warning Luuk got before the nurse made her reappearance. They peered into the room through the narrow vertical window set into the door, their gaze quickly settling upon him. Once they'd confirmed that he hadn’t slipped back into unconsciousness whilst they'd been gone, the nurse reached for the handle. They pushed the door open wide, revealing more of the hallway beyond. There, standing just a few paces behind them, was Natalie.

Luuk’s mentor was dressed in a thin hospital gown, identical to his own in every regard but the size. As if that wasn’t enough to make her status as a patient clear, there was a thin, plastic medical bracelet wrapped around her left wrist. A single glance at her face was enough to deduce the nature of her ailment, too. A good portion of the skin on her face had turned various shades of red and purple, starting around her cheekbone and climbing up towards her temple. The splotchy mess looked less like one giant bruise and more like a handful of smaller ones, so close together that the edges had started to blur. A handful of parting gifts, left behind by Dr. Vetere in his final lucid moments.

When Natalie saw Luuk lying there, tucked into one of the hospital’s beds, something inside her seemed to break. “Thank goodness you’re okay.” Her voice cracked when she spoke, even as her eyes started to water. She rushed through the open doorway, brushing past the nurse as if they no longer existed in her hurry to read Luuk’s bedside. She stopped herself just moments before she got close enough to try embrace Luuk, when common sense finally prevailed. After all they’d been through, the last thing she wanted was for her enthusiasm to make him pop a stitch.

As she looked Luuk over, a checklist sprang to the front of Natalie’s mind unbidden. A list of things that that she should be doing, like checking his IV, or his heart monitor. Questions that she was supposed to ask. Possible complications and preventative measures. More medical knowledge that Natalie hadn’t earned, courtesy of her new memories. She did the best to ignore it. Shoved the knowledge far down, into the deepest recesses of her mind, and forced herself to focus on what was really important.

“I’m so sorry that I didn’t come and visit you sooner. I tried to, but the doctors insisted on putting me through everything from SCAT5 to a CT. I tried to tell them I was fine, but they-“ It wasn’t long before Natalie realised she was babbling about things Luuk probably didn’t care about, and cut herself off. In addition to the jargon that inadvertently crept into her speech, her new medical knowledge also pointed out that they’d only been acting in her best interests, but Natalie had chosen to ignore that little tidbit of information. Just like she was ignoring the nurse’s eyes, which she could feel drilling into her from the other side of the room. She stood there awkwardly for a moment, her hand fidgeting idly, before she finally turned her attention back to the nurse properly.

“Can you please give us a moment?” The nurse seemed to hesitate, much to Natalie’s displeasure, but only for a moment. She held the their gaze until they nodded their assent.

“I’ll be waiting just outside the door if you need me.” With those parting words, the nurse slipped from the room, pulling the door shut behind them. Natalie’s attention lingered there for just a moment longer, before a sigh slipped from her lips. Before she could stop herself, the former mage collapsed into the plain, plastic visitor’s chair that sat alongside Luuk’s bed. She’d take in the sight of him for a moment as she tried to gather herself, collect her thoughts, until she finally trusted herself enough to speak.

“How are you feeling?”

This time her voice was softer. Gentle. They weren’t quite the right words, the ones Natalie felt like she desperately needed to say, but they were closer than her first attempt had been. They felt like the proper ones for this situation, at least, and that was a good start. Besides, while the nurses had assured her that Luuk would be fine, and she could see him awake in his bed, another part of Natalie needed to hear it from his own lips. Hear him say anything that suggested he would be alright. Only then would she be able to breathe again, and consider what came next.

A part of her knew that he was probably extremely confused right now. Practically bursting at the seams with questions, if past experiences were anything to judge by. Natalie was determined to give them to him, too, no matter how long it took. She owed him that much, at the very least. It seemed better to let him pick where he wanted to start, though, instead of just launching into an explanation. A part of her couldn’t help but feel amused by the notion. Even now, she was filling him in. That was an aspect of their relationship that never seemed to change. That small amusement helped keep her mood up slightly, whilst she waited for his answer.

[Ashen]

It felt like an entire eternity had passed before a nurse finally returned to Luuk’s room, and when they did, Luuk was sitting up immediately and looking behind them. Sure enough, they had brought Natalie with them, though she looked much different than the last time Luuk had seen her. Her face, once a canvas of warm hues, was a sickly shade, and where her skin wasn’t pallid it was alive with bursts or red and purple. He wanted to reach out and move her hair away from her bruises, but he thought better of it, not wanting to accidentally hurt her. Her pale hospital gown seemed to swallow her, making her appear too small, and when she spoke, her strained, pained voice broke his heart.

Luuk shifted when she started coming towards him, as if to make room for her on the bed, but Natalie seemed to decide against it, and instead she took up residence in the chair across from him. He noticed the tears in her eyes, and he wondered, if their roles had been reversed, how much differently this would have played out. If Natalie would have been dead because of him. He swallowed the thought. The important thing was that they were both here. Alive. That Dr. V had been taken care of, and that they were safe. Still, that didn’t quell the burning questions he still had for her.

He reached for her hand, but the sudden action tugged at his IVs, and he winced at the pinch against his skin. Shaking it off, Luuk turned to Natalie and listened to her. She wasn’t making much sense; she was talking as if she were a doctor. Like someone who had always been a doctor. It felt weird, coming from her, but Luuk thought back to what the nurse had told him. Natalie had saved him because of a background in medicine. He just couldn’t understand why it had never come up before. Back in their first motel room, after their altercation with one of Dr. V’s goons, Natalie had patched up the wound in his back without too much issue. Even then, he could tell that wasn’t her first time treating a wound, but she didn’t move with the practiced grace of a medical professional. Maybe that was unfair; after all, she’d just had her apartment blown up and was running for her life. Anyone would be frazzled because of that. Luuk tried to think of any other time Natalie’s background might have come up, but no matter how hard he focused on their past conversations, he couldn’t think of a single time when she’d mentioned her work.

His mind was still reeling, and he was groggy from the medicine he was on, so he didn’t know how to form his questions. He also didn’t know how to ask about their magic with the nurse still in the room, so he was thankful when Natalie politely asked them to go away. Finally alone, Luuk let out a sigh. His mind was trying to piece together this puzzle alone while battling a migraine, and it wasn’t working. Her question, however, pulled him out of his own head. “I’m fine,” he replied automatically, but he hesitated. There was no need to lie anymore. “It hurts like a bitch,” he amended, a small smile coming over his lips. “The painkillers are helping, but my head’s still pounding, and my chest…” His fingers fluttered to his heart, to where his bandages bulged the most under his gown. Luuk shook his head and turned his attention back to Natalie.

“How are you?” he asked. He wondered if he looked just as bad as she did. They’d been in a life-threatening battle, after all, and the reality of that was creeping in slowly. He didn’t want to think about it. His gaze trailed to her arms, to the plastic bracelet around her wrist. To her bare arms. Luuk cocked his head, then looked at his own arms. A lot of his markings had been rubbed away, likely during whatever procedures the doctors had run once he’d arrived at the hospital, but he could still make out the faint outlines of his etchings, his symbols, the marks he had made to perform his magic. The same marks that should have been on Natalie’s arms, too. Yet, as if by magic, they had been unwritten, and Luuk sat there staring for several long moments. Had she scrubbed the marks away to hide them from the doctors? Luuk hadn’t been a mage for very long, but he’d been practicing magic long enough to know that those lines wouldn’t have come out that easily. Natalie had used permanent marker, hadn’t she…?

Luuk sat up straighter, his questions multiplying within him. He felt ready to burst from the pressure of them, so before Natalie could even answer his last question, he blurted, “What happened?” He motioned towards his arms, his chest, all around them, as his confusion burned in his gaze. “I remember using magic to wipe Dr. V’s memories, but after that… He shot me, Natalie. I should be dead. How… how did you save me?” His eyes were trained on hers as his thoughts poured out. “Why did the nurse tell me you were a doctor? And now you’re talking like one, but that’s never come up before, and it seems a weird thing to keep from me—doesn’t it?—and I thought we’d trusted each other, because I gave up my life to be here with you, and…” Luuk’s voice trailed, and he turned away, focusing on the patterned tiles on the floor.

It wasn’t fair of him to overwhelm her like this, and his cheeks warmed with his embarrassment. He’d always been a curious, overeager thing, but now wasn’t the time, and he knew. He tried to shift gears, thinking instead about what would happen now. If Dr. V really was taken care of, were his goons still out there? Were they still in danger? Would they still have to live in hiding? No, Luuk refused to go back to such a life, but what did that leave for the two of them? He wondered if magic could be brought to more people. Surely there were more like him, mages who had forgotten their birthright, mages they could visit and learn from and teach. How would the world react to them?

Luuk hesitated, then decided on one more question to ask: “What’s going to happen now?”

[Namingtoohard]

The way that Luuk backpedaled over his answer was enough to earn a half-hearted chuckle from Natalie, despite…well, everything. Their current circumstances, and their respective conditions. Painkillers were wonderful things. Natalie knew that both from recent first-hand experience, and her newfound medical knowledge. They didn’t work miracles, though, and Luuk trying to claim that he felt so well after such a serious incident definitely stretched the limits of her imagination. Besides, there was no shame in admitting you felt a little worse for wear after surviving such a severe injury. When he returned the question, Natalie didn’t have to think about her answer for long.

“Well, I don’t think I’ll be attending any parties any time soon.” As she spoke, Natalie raised a hand to the bruises on her face, as if to drive home the point. She brushed her fingers against the tender skin there and winced at the spike of pain that her body offered in response, predictable as it was. “It stings like hell, but I don’t thing I can complain too much. Out of the three of us, I definitely got off lightest. I don’t want to think about how much worse it might’ve been if you hadn’t saved the day.”

Once Luuk began to bombard her with questions, Natalie waited for him to finish patiently, a small smile flickering across her features. She had known this moment was coming, that it had only been a matter of time until he’d be unable to contain himself any longer. The situation held an air of familiarity, even if the rest of their circumstances had changed, and Natalie welcomed it. She responded in her usual manner, content to let him finish, and then answer all of his queries at once. When he asked how she had managed to save him, though, a hint of sadness crept into her expression. Not because of the question itself, but because answering it would require her to admit something she’d been desperately trying to forget. She’d do it anyway, of course. She was done lying to Luuk for her own benefit.

When the last of the questions had flowed out, and Luuk had relapsed back into silence, Natalie found herself pondering the best way to explain. She wanted Luuk to understand what she had done to herself, but some of the specifics were technical. Complicated, beyond what she’d taught him so far. Once it became apparent that there was no real way to soften the blow, Natalie decided that the direct approach was best. They could worry about the details later.

“I wasn’t a doctor when we walked into the university, Luuk, but I am now. After Dr. V shot you, I used magic to rewrite my own history. Gave myself the medical expertise I needed to save you, at the cost of my magic.”

There. She’d said it. Finally admitted to the loss that she’d been trying so hard to bury. The knowledge that she’d never work her craft again was more painful than her physical wounds could ever hope to be. The magic’s absence was a gaping void in her chest, one that Natalie suspected she’d never manage to fill. The irony was that it was some of the best work she’d ever done, too. She’d taken an incredibly complex sigil, altered while under duress, without the proper tools, and it had worked flawlessly. Back in the olden days, such a feat would’ve branded her one of the all-time greats. Now, she couldn’t even muster up the willpower to brag about it.

Luuk would have more questions, Natalie knew. He’d want to know how, or why, or figure out some other angle to take. Even knowing that, she pushed onwards, and started to answer his other queries. A way of distancing herself from the topic, if only momentarily.

“As for what happens now…well, that’s up to the cops, I suppose. They told me that they have Dr. V in custody, but he’s claiming that he doesn’t remember his own name, much less the incident itself. They’ve concluded that he must’ve banged his head when you tackled him, causing some sort of memory loss. Naturally, I didn’t feel the need to correct them.” Natalie leaned back in her seat a little as she spoke, fingers laced together in her lap. This part was easier to talk about, at the very least. “I don’t know if they intend to prosecute, or if they’ll end up putting him in some sort of specialised care. Frankly, I’m not sure it matters. Either way, he won’t have to worry about him ever again.”

Then, despite everything, Natalie smiled. It looked a little shaky, but there was no doubting its authenticity. “Our plan worked, Luuk. Not in the way we intended, maybe, but we got our wish. We can both go home again. Go back to our lives. The nightmare is finally over. We’re free.” The tears finally started to spill over then, leaving two wet trails down both of Natalie’s cheeks. She tried to wipe them away with the back of her hand, but there was no stopping them now. Truth be told, she wasn’t entirely sure if they were tears of mourning, or of celebration. It didn’t matter. After everything they’d been through in the past few hours, the past few weeks, she could forgive herself for getting a little bit emotional. Just this once.

[Ashen]

No sooner had Natalie finished her explanation for why things were so weird lately did Luuk’s brain instantly reject her words. Magic can’t do that, he wanted to say, but he stopped himself to wonder why he thought that. Why couldn’t it? And besides, what other explanation was there for why he was even still alive? It Natalie had somehow used her own magic to make herself a trained doctor with a lifetime of medical knowledge, than what the nurse had told him earlier would make sense. The idea that their magic could even do such a thing brought up countless possibilities, all exciting in their own right. But… Luuk looked back at his hands and the pale marks stretching up his arms. If Natalie had rewritten her own magic… He turned to her, his brows creasing. If Natalie didn’t have her magic anymore, then what did that leave for her? For him? For the future of all mages?

Luuk turned away, a million new things racing through his mind. He thought back to the first time he’d visited Natalie in her apartment, her vast collection of antiques, of projects that she had worked on with her magic. From that alone, Luuk knew her magic was important to her, but there was so much more to it than that. It was in the way she had looked at him the first time, so long ago, when she’d shown him that mug that she’d fixed and recolored right before his eyes. It was in the subsequent times when her magic had worked exactly how she’d wanted it to, and the self-satisfied grin she always wore after a session of practice. It was in the pride she felt for her student whenever he got his magic right—or, mostly right—and the hope she’d held for a future filled with more little successes. It was clear from watching her; magic had been central to Natalie’s life, even after she had lost everything because of it. And she had given it all up—just to save him.

He didn’t know how to feel. Undoubtedly, the spell Natalie had used to do this must have been one of the most complicated ones in existence, with lots of room for error, yet they were both here, alive. Luuk wanted to congratulate her on that and ask her another batch of ceaseless questions about how it had worked, how she’d made it, if she could teach him. If he’d ever be ready. If she even remembered how to do it, now. The grief that came with that last realization settled in his chest, heavier than he felt able to carry. It soon gave way to anger, to rage at Natalie for having taken away something so important to her, to their kind. All of Luuk’s dreams about returning magic to the world unthreatened, idle as they may have been, were slashed as he realized he no longer had his teacher. Natalie could have replaced him, could have found other mages to teach and to guide, and she could have brought their craft back to the world. Now, alone, what could Luuk do?

Talk of Dr. V barely met his ears, so lost Luuk was in his own emotions. Suddenly, the future didn’t seem to matter much at all to him. Natalie wanted to celebrate it, their freedom to return to their lives, but what did Luuk have to return to? He had earned his degree, and his dorm had been given to someone else. His life had revolved around his campus, around his professors and his classes and his countless hours in front of his computer, and now, he had nowhere to go. He had secrets he didn’t know what to do with. Natalie wanted to return to her old life, but he didn’t understand how she couldn’t see that everything in front of them was brand new. Luuk wanted to hate her, and to hate this new burden she had given to him.

But when he looked up again to meet her eye, his face softened, and he stopped clenching his jaw. Natalie was crying. Her life for far too long had been framed by a man so willing to hurt her, and it was over. Luuk was no one to take this joy from her, and if she could find happiness in her sacrifice…then he would too.

Luuk sat up, ignoring how his body protested. “I don’t know what to say,” he admitted, and for another couple minutes, he sat there unable to form the right words. Natalie had saved his life, and regardless of what would happen to magic now, it was only possible because of her sacrifice. “Thank you,” he said quietly, realizing it was the first thing he should have said. “I wouldn’t be here without you.” But he wasn’t just referring to her giving up her magic. If Natalie had never reached out to him, never told him about his parents, about their shared ability…where would he be now? Aimlessly searching for people he would never find? Just as directionless as he’d felt every day since he’d lost all his memories?

These past weeks had been hellish for him, and Luuk was sure the therapy he would need to process them would never begin to heal the wounds now open. But because of this time with Natalie, he knew who he was. He was a mage, and his parents’ son, and his teacher’s student, and he wouldn’t have been any of that without her help.

“Maybe,” he went on quietly, still contemplating his words. “Someday, when I’m not so bad at this magic thing, and after I’ve had lots of practice—practice that isn’t life or death, hopefully; that’d be nice—maybe then I could even…teach you.” It was an amusing thought after everything, and Luuk didn’t even know if it would work, but now that he was here, the last mage on earth, he refused to let things remain that way. His ability—Natalie’s ability, the ability of his parents and all who had died with them—would not die with him. They had earned their victory, and Luuk intended for that to mean something. “I’ll write down everything you told me,” he went on, his voice growing more confident as his ideas solidified in his mind. “I’ll write a whole book, of things you passed down to me and things I figured out on my own. Here—I need to start now, before I forget the things you’ve taught.” He looked around for something to write on, and when he found a pad and pen sitting on a bedside table, he hastily grabbed for them. Luuk quickly started jotting things down as he tried to remember back to the first time Natalie had shown him her magic.

He looked up suddenly when he realized he was, as always, getting ahead of himself. He stopped writing mid-word and hesitated. “I’m not sure what the future holds now either,” he said quietly, gaze still on the beginning of his new notes. “I’m excited to stop hiding. And with your help, Natalie, as much as you can offer… I would like to do something for the rest of us. For all mages, past and present and future. I don’t know what that means yet, and maybe you can help me figure it out, but after all this? I can’t imagine myself doing anything but.”

[Namingtoohard]

Several minutes slipped away before Natalie finally managed to regain a small fragment of her usual composure, and stem the flow of tears. She cast a wandering eye around the room, and it wasn’t long before her gaze settled on a box of tissues, conveniently placed atop a small side table. She’d suspected there would be one nearby – they were practically a staple in hospitals, where grieving family and friends were commonplace. Natalie leaned forward in her chair and stretched a hand out towards it, desperately trying to reach without getting out of her chair. She plucked a few from it and quickly set about wiping her face and nose, before crumpling them into balls and setting them aside. Her eyes were still red and puffy, but it was definitely a step in the right direction.

Luuk’s first admission, and the thanks he offered, were both accepted with a grateful bob of Natalie’s head. Her first instinct was to brush off such gratitude, but she trust herself to speak just yet, and trying to downplay her involvement felt dishonest. There was no denying the fact that Luuk would’ve died without her intervention, or understating the sacrifice she had made, and they both knew it. Trying to shy away from either of those facts would be nothing short of foolish.

The suggestion that he would teach her, at some point in the distant future, was enough to earn a wry chuckle from Natalie. She didn’t really like the idea of ceding her position as Luuk’s mentor, but it was a little too late for that particular objection. The idea of their roles being reversed, comparatively, was definitely amusing. Natalie couldn’t help but wonder how his teaching style might differ from her own. She wasn’t entirely sure if the changes she’d made would ever let her learn magic again, but there was no reason to spoil the fantasy with that little detail right now. Either way, Natalie certainly hoped that Luuk became skilled enough to accept students of his own one day. Even if she wasn’t among them, she could find comfort in knowing that their craft would still be passed on to the next generation.

Another laugh slipped from her lips when Luuk began scrambling for pen and paper, in an effort to start scribbling down her teachings. Even now, hospitalized by his injuries, he was just as overeager as ever. Natalie reached a hand out towards him, intending to try and calm him, before he popped a stitch or ripped out his drip, but thankfully he stopped before her intervention proved necessary.

“I appreciate the sentiment, Luuk, but there’s no need to rush. We’ve been on the run for weeks now. If you still remember everything I’ve taught you, then I doubt you’re going to forget it before tomorrow. Besides, you still have all your old notes to fall back on.” Natalie voiced her objections in what she hoped was a calming voice, despite the fact that she’d been crying just a few moments ago. Once she heard Luuk’s next offer, though, Natalie smiled. There was no amusement behind it this time, wry or otherwise. Just genuine happiness, born from witnessing such kindness, and the promise of a better future. As she considered the possibilities, the beginnings of an idea took root in Natalie’s mind. She wasn’t entirely sure her plan would work yet, or how they’d accomplish it, but if Luuk wanted a way to help…well, Natalie thought she knew the perfect starting point.

“I think I might have an idea already. I’m not entirely sure it will work, and you’ll probably need a great deal more practice before you’re ready to try it, but…well, it’s something we can work towards.” As soon as she finished speaking, another idea occurred to Natalie. Her gaze drifted away from Luuk, then. She laced her fingers together, chewed the inside of her cheek, before finally deciding that there was no keeping it to herself anymore. “I’d…I want to tell you what really happened to your mother on the night she died, too. The full story, this time, as soon as we’re both ready for it. Tess deserves that much. You both do.”

Natalie’s musings were interrupted by a burst of sound and a flurry of movement, directly outside the door to Luuk’s room. Her gaze flickered towards it, just in time to see several incomprehensive shapes moving back and forth on the other side of the window. The words were muffled, but Natalie thought she caught a few. The rough shape of them, at the very least. Enough to give her a sneaking suspicion as to what was going on out there, and what was about to happen next. She turned her attention back to Luuk, the corners of her mouth turning upwards a fraction.

“I suspect all of that will have to wait, though. From the sounds of it, I’m guessing that the hospital let your foster family know you’ve woken up. I’d say you’re about to get another visitor.”

The last thing Natalie wanted right now was more misplaced gratitude, or to intrude on such a private moment. Given that there was only one door, though, there was no real way for her to slip away unnoticed now. She’d just have to make her excuses as soon as possible, and give them the privacy they deserved.

~~~

The house that sat before Natalie was entirely unremarkable. Short and squat, one couldn’t call it a marvel of modern engineering by any stretch of the imagination. The paint was weather-worn, and had started to peel in multiple places. The wooden balcony had been sturdy once, Natalie imagined, but now the wooden boards were starting to rot. The gravel path leading to the front door was infringed upon by several plants, as if the overgrown garden were trying to reclaim the lost space. The waist-high metal gate that marked the entrance creaked as Natalie leaned against it, earning an irritated scowl. As a whole, the place looked exactly the same as it had every other time Natalie had come to visit.

”It only took me a few months to tear my entire life apart, and put it back together again. A few weeks for Luuk to be well enough to come and meet me. But after ten straight years, this place looks the exact same. It doesn’t feel fair, somehow.”

Natalie had dressed warmly today, but her thick clothes did little to hide how much better she was looking. The bruises covering her face had vanished, and she’d begun to put on weight again. Gone were the sunken cheeks, and the bags under her eyes, now that the stress of their time on the run had begun to fade. She was still trying to find a proper job for herself, was still living in temporary housing, but it was a start. The road to recovery was a long one, and Natalie was ultimately pleased with her progress so far.

Natalie let out a soft sigh, before she pulled her gaze away from the overrun building. She turned her back to it, and reached into one of her pockets. The screen of her phone showed that she hadn’t gotten another text from Luuk yet, and that there were just a few minutes left until the meeting time they’d agreed upon. Hopefully no news was good news, and the lack of updates or apologies meant that he’d be here within the next few minutes.

[Ashen]

In all the excitement of everything that had happened to them, Luuk had almost forgotten about the secrets Natalie still had. At the mention of his mother and what had happened when she’d died, Luuk arched a brow and leaned towards Natalie curiously. For so long, Luuk had done everything he could think to to find out what had happened to his parents and why he couldn’t remember them, and finally, his answers were within his grasp, readily offered. A small part of him wondered if he was ready for this, but his doubts quickly fell away. He’d spent too long hoping and dreaming of this day, and he would never be more ready. He couldn’t wait to hear Natalie out.

But he would have to. His gaze was pulled to the hallway at the same time Natalie’s was, and he shifted awkwardly, suddenly more uncomfortable than he’d been since he’d arrived at the hospital. He wanted to hear what Natalie had to say, but he owed a lot of people answers of his own. Two of those people, led by his nurse, found their way to the door of his room, and they lingered in the threshold, disbelief and relief mixing in their eyes. It hadn’t been that long since Luuk had seen them, or it hadn’t felt like it, but his foster parents looked different from how he remembered. They both wore so many new wrinkles, and Luuk wondered if he had been the one to etch them across their faces. They watched each other for what felt like minutes, until Luuk awkwardly broke the silence with a, “Hi.”

Tears bubbled at his foster mother’s eyes. She looked ready to collapse, so her husband held onto her, steadying her. They walked towards Luuk’s bedside, barely noticing Natalie sitting beside him. “Luuk,” his mother breathed, the tears finally beginning to fall. “Where have you been?”

“You’ve made Karen into a worried mess, boy,” his foster father scolded with a stern look. After a moment, though, his frustrated façade cracked, and he reached out to touch Luuk’s shoulder. In a much softer voice, he asked, “How are you feeling?”

Luuk looked between his foster family and his former teacher. They deserved to know what had happened to him, starting from the day Natalie had reached out to him. And, if he really was going to make magic public knowledge again, his foster family was the perfect place to start. “Karen, Anthony,” he said, “I have some things to tell you.”


~~~

Luuk woke with a start, and in his effort to quickly get out of bed, he smacked his forehead against his nightstand. He swore under his breath as he felt the welt already forming. After shaking the pain, he looked around for his phone, which he found on the edge of his bed. The numbers at the top of his screen confirmed that he’d overslept, again. He was doing a lot of that lately. Karen assured him that his body needed the rest, and that he should get it while he could, but Luuk wondered if he was just being lazy. Normally, oversleeping didn’t bother him too much, but he’d had plans today. He was supposed to meet with Natalie.

Luuk quickly threw on the clothes closest to him, then went to the bathroom to hastily brush his teeth and wash his face. Though the bags under his eyes were starting to feel like a permanent feature, he otherwise was looking a lot better. His chest still hurt, often, and he got headaches much more often than he ever had before, but the color had returned to his face, and he’d started putting on some of the weight he’d lost. He was getting by.

Downstairs, he spotted Karen getting ready for work. “Oh, Luuk,” she said when she’d noticed him. “I was going to wake you, but you seemed so peaceful.” She looked him over with a frown. “You’re going to meet with that Natalie girl today, aren’t you? It’s chilly out. Why don’t you put on a sweater?”

He nodded his acknowledgement. “I’ll be okay,” he said while he grabbed a granola bar from the pantry. He wished her a good day and then finished his breakfast all too quickly.

Moving back into his foster family’s home had been weird. Luuk had imagined, after university, he would have his own place, and his own job. He would have been lying if he’d said he wasn’t disappointed by this turn of events. But Karen and Anthony both had assured him he had a place here, as long as he needed it, and he tried not to beat himself up too much over it.

They were fostering a new kid now, a preteen girl with an eye for art and a curiosity that rivaled Luuk’s own. He didn’t know her very well yet, but he was trying to change that, and he wondered if she might make a good student. One day, he would show her his magic, once he was practiced enough, and he would invite her to study it with him. He didn’t know how magic worked, or if anyone could pick it up, but he wanted to teach as many people as he could regardless. He was as excited at the idea as he was terrified that he would mess things up.

He hoped, with Natalie’s help, he could prevent that. She had arranged this meeting so that she could finally tell him what had happened to his mother, and what had happened to all mages. She’d sent him an address, and when Luuk had searched it online, it had just looked like an ordinary house. He trusted Natalie, though, and he was dying to know what she would say. His mind kept supplying guesses about what had happened, and the excitement at finding out kept him practically bouncing on his feet. As soon as he was finished with his breakfast, he started out the door.

Karen had been right, of course. He had not dressed warmly enough for this day, and the breeze left him shaking. It was the middle of summer, but the weather was acting more like autumn, and at this rate, there was no way he wouldn’t get sick. Luuk shook his head, refusing to go back and change. He’d left Natalie waiting long enough, and he was too excited to turn back.

The bus was also behind schedule, and as Luuk braced himself against the ceaseless breezes as he waited at his stop, he checked his phone. He sent Natalie a texted apology and a promise to be there as soon as he could be. He also noticed a message from Frankie. The two had been texting a lot lately. Luuk still wasn’t sure they would ever be friends, but the concern the first-year—the second-year now, Luuk supposed—had shown for him was endearing. Another potential student of his, Frankie was easy to convince and eager to find out about Luuk’s absence. For now, his text detailed all of Frankie’s complaints about the manager at his new job. Luuk chuckled softly and put his phone away.

After his bus ride, Luuk navigated the streets via GPS, and in about fifteen minutes later than expected, he arrived at the address Natalie had sent him. Just as his online searches had shown him, there was a house here, run-down and quaint. He couldn’t guess why Natalie had chosen this spot to meet. He saw her waiting outside and jogged the rest of the way to her. “Sorry I’m late,” he said, his way of saying hello. “I must have turned my alarm off in my sleep, and the bus took forever today, and—” Luuk stopped himself. He hadn’t seen Natalie since that day in the hospital, and he wasn’t even asking after her.

Her bruises had disappeared, and her face was looking much healthier. She almost looked like she had when they’d first met, or… No, she was smiling now even more than then. Luuk knew things hadn’t been easy for her. Everything she had known before had been given up for him, and she didn’t even have a place to call her own anymore. But Luuk was trying to stay hopeful, and he wanted to help her how he could. “You look good,” he commented awkwardly. “How are things going with you?” He turned towards the house again, and as always, unable to stay on a single topic for more than a second, he asked, “Why’d you ask me to meet you here?”

[Namingtoohard]

As if on cue, Natalie’s phone vibrated once, just a few moments after she’d put it away again. When she pulled it back out, she found the screen illuminated by a single text from Luuk. The preview alone was enough to confirm the very thing that she’d just been wondering. Natalie found herself entirely unbothered by the news that he was running late, despite the autumn wind, and the slicing cold it brought. After everything the two of them had been through together, a little bit of waiting barely registered as an inconvenience. Given his recent injuries, she’d prefer Luuk take his time anyway, and there was plenty she could think over in the meantime.

When Luuk finally made his appearance, with an entire litany of explanations at the ready, Natalie couldn’t help but smile. Partially because of how typical her student’s greeting was, and partially because of how much better he was looking. The bags under his eyes and the careful way he moved suggested that he hadn’t recovered quite as quickly as she had, but that was only natural. His injuries had been much more severe than hers, after all. Just seeing him up and moving, well enough to travel on his own, was enough to do her a world of good.

“You don’t look so bad yourself, all things considered. It’s good to see you, Luuk.” With both of her hands stuffed deep into her pockets, this time for warmth, Natalie turned her attention back to the house at the same time he did. When he asked both of his questions, she hesitated briefly, uncertain. Natalie had big news that she’d wanted to share with him, but she’d planned on waiting until later, lest it eclipse the purpose of their visit. She’d always tried to answer his questions in order, though, so why change that now? Acting on impulse, she just decided to just spit it out.

“I think I’ve finally found a place to rent long-term. We haven’t signed the paperwork yet, but I’m optimistic. It’s not my old apartment, but…well, you know.” Natalie punctuated her answer with a casual shrug. As fantastic as that news was, that wasn’t the thing she’d been excited to share. “Job hunting has been a little more difficult. Turns out getting a job in the medical field is hard when you don’t have any official credentials to back up your skills. I’ve…actually been thinking of going back to school. Trying to find an accelerated course that will let me get my food in the door as a nurse, or a paramedic. The student fees will be a pain in the ass while I don’t have a job, but if I need a diploma to get said job…well, I guess I’ve gotta start somewhere, right?”

It would be a dramatic change from her life before, but that was inevitable, after she’d bargained away her magic. Natalie had been pondering the idea for a while now, and the longer she sat on it, the more confident she became that it was the right move. She’d lacked a true sense of purpose for years, and was certain that she’d find one here. It was a way that she could help atone for her sins, spend her days rebuilding lives instead of erasing them. The idea of devoting so many years of her life to studying was a little daunting, given how much older she was than most regular students, but Natalie was trying her hardest to squash that fear.

She’d just have to hope that none of her new professors tried to kill her.

While Luuk digested this new information, Natalie let her gaze sweep the house again, whilst she pondered the best way to answer his second question. It felt like there were a few different topics that they needed to discuss, but all of them seemed to feed back into each other. To explain any of them properly, he needed to know about the others first, which left her with something of a dilemma. Which starting point would make things easiest on Luuk? While she tried to figure that out, Natalie decided to start by offering him the simplest answer she could. Maybe, if she were lucky, she’d figure things out along the way.

“We’re here because this place is important to your mother’s story. Indirectly, anyway. It’s less about the building itself, and more about the people who live here.” Now that she’d started, the words began to flow out easier than she’d expected. They tugged Natalie along, pulling on her like an ocean current. Her hand seemed to move of its own accord, reaching for her pocket. From it, she withdrew the seal that she’d used to alter her own personal history a few weeks back, during their final confrontation with Dr. V.

Roughly the size and shape of a cork, the small piece of fired clay still bore all the same markings it had back then. Dozens of interlocking sigils, most so small that you’d need a magnifying glass to read them properly, and a few hasty alterations made with a permanent marker. It was inert now…or rather, Natalie was. The stamp was designed for her personal history, so it would only work for her. With her magic gone, it held no more value than the knowledge Luuk might gain from studying it, and could be handled freely. Natalie offered it to him with a casual gesture, so that he might take a closer look.

“Before I can tell you everything that happened on the night your mother died, I need to explain how I changed my own memories that day, at the university.” Once Luuk had taken the seal from her, Natalie would give him a few moments to inspect it. She leaned against the gate idly while she waited, letting him appreciate the craftsmanship, draw whatever conclusions he could, before she pressed onward. “That little piece there is called a soul stamp. During the golden days, successfully creating a working one is how you proved yourself an official master. They’re designed to alter the creator’s personal history with a level of precision you could never replicate on a stranger, so they only work for the maker. Everyone's lives are different, so you couldn't just copy another person's designs. They’re meant to be a test of both technical skill and self-awareness.”

At this point, Natalie would finally turn her attention away from the house. She’d throw a sideways glance at her former student, expression shrewd. “More to the point, soul stamps were the only time it was acceptable to use magic on a person. Trying to alter anyone other than yourself, mentally or physically, was extremely taboo.” Natalie’s words were punctuated by the sound of a single car zooming past, adding an extra layer to the wind, but she continued unperturbed. “There was a time when people tried to perfect the art of healing with magic, but the human body proved too complex. More often than not, they ended up doing more harm than good, so eventually the practice was banned entirely. As for the mental aspect…well, like I said, it’s much easier to break another person’s mind than change it. After what happened with Dr. V, I imagine that I don’t need to explain why that was outlawed.”

At this point, Natalie finally let herself take a deep breath. There was still a great deal more for her to explain, of course – she hadn’t even started telling Luuk what had happened to his mother, after all. Not really. Knowing her former student, though, he’d have questions. A veritable barrage of them, if past experiences were anything to judge by. Better to let him voice them now, and get them off his chest, before they got into the more emotionally stressful topics. Before they were buried, and his curiosity forgotten, eclipsed by the horrors she’d seen – and inflicted – on that day.

What would Luuk think of them, when he learned of the things they had done? Would he still want to know her? Would he still regard his departed mother with the same unconditional fondness he did now? Would he still want to practice magic at all? The possibilities scared Natalie, but there was no turning back now. Telling their story would be like ripping open all her old scars, but she’d already committed to this path. A part of her needed to share this story, just as much as Luuk needed to hear it. Hoped that airing out these old wounds would let them heal properly this time. So despite her personal reservations, Natalie knew that she was just a few moments from finding out.

[Ashen]

Luuk’s entire face lit up at the news that Natalie had found a new place to stay. He grabbed her hands in a friendly gesture, offering her a proud smile. “I’m so happy for you,” he said. He couldn’t wait to see the place and how Natalie would decorate it. Luuk wondered if Natalie would return to her artistic hobbies, albeit in a more traditional way now, and if she would fill this new place with all the sorts of vintage furniture she had had in her old apartment. But she was probably still figuring out the details, and Luuk didn’t want to overwhelm her with more things to add to her to-do list. Even so, he couldn’t stop himself from daydreaming about it, sharing tea and magic lessons with his teacher surrounded by furniture she had designed herself. Maybe he could help. Luuk was determined to fill Natalie’s new place with magic in whatever ways she let him.

Her suggestion of going back to school similarly filled him with a rush of excitement and a new hope for the future. Luuk was already trying to remember the names of the professors in the nursing department, anything he had heard about them, and the couple he had met himself. He would tell Natalie everything he knew about them eventually. Of course, it didn’t occur to him that Natalie might go somewhere that wasn’t his Gloucestershire University, and Luuk was far too excited about having a reason to return to campus. Maybe he’d get to say goodbye to his professors for real this time. Maybe, eventually, they would hire him as a magic professor. Luuk figured he had a few decades before he got to that point, but the idea was still an amusing one. He thought of all the pointers he could give Natalie about the university application process, but for now, he knew, they had other things to discuss. He turned back to the house they were in front of, wondering if either of Natalie’s bits of good news had anything to do with it.

The idea of people living in this house got Luuk even more curious. Did Natalie know these people? Had his mother? So lost in his own guesses, he at first didn’t notice Natalie pulling something from her pocket. When he did, he listened to her explanation of this thing—this seal—while turning it over slowly in his hands. This had been Natalie’s proof of her mastery of magic. He almost felt wrong touching it; it must have been incredibly special to Natalie, and he couldn’t imagine how long she had spent working on it. He wondered if his mother had made one, and what it might have looked like. Would he ever get a chance to make his own? That idea was alluring, if not altogether terrifying. Just looking at Natalie’s soul stamp, he doubted he would ever be skilled enough to create one like it, especially now that he was without a teacher. But Luuk kept his doubts to himself and instead let Natalie talk about the magic she remembered.

When Natalie paused, Luuk looked up from the stamp. She was undoubtedly waiting for him to ask his usual plethora of questions—and he had many of them. But Luuk stalled, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip. He had a bad feeling about where Natalie was going with all this. Outlawing human magic made sense to him, and even now, the thought of Dr. V so confused about his own identity filled him with guilt. He didn’t regret what they had done; Luuk believed their self-defense was justified after all. But if Natalie was bringing this up now, after promising to tell him about his mother… The bad feeling grew, clutching at his throat.

Luuk looked back at the house. For the umpteenth time in his life, he tried to imagine what kind of people his parents had been. If they were the type of people to consider performing such a taboo. He didn’t know why else Natalie would talk about this now. Regardless of whatever sick things his parents might have done, Luuk was sure they must have had their reasons. That was what he was telling himself. And if his parents had done things wrong, he had a chance to do things right, to learn more and more, and to try to make up for the mistakes they had made.

Tentatively facing his teacher again, Luuk hesitated. Of all the questions he had, he knew most of them could wait until much later. No matter what he wanted to believe about his mother, he wanted to know the truth most of all. So Luuk braced himself, drawing in a deep breath, and he warily asked, “What… What did my mum do?”

[Namingtoohard]

Natalie endured the silence that followed her explanation with good-natured patience, more than happy to give Luuk all the time he needed to process this new information. The former teacher was pointedly aware that they were discussing things beyond Luuk’s current skill level, and that some of the concepts they were discussing could be difficult to wrap your head around, even for those well prepared. Under normal circumstances, she wouldn’t have spoken to him about soul stamps for another several months yet. And that was to say nothing of the more morally dubious topics she’d addressed, and all the implications that accompanied them.

When Luuk finally spoke, and just prompted her to go on, Natalie was momentarily stunned. She paused with her mouth open, just for a moment, before remembering herself. She’d anticipated plenty of different questions, prepared answers to them in advance, but this was one possibility she hadn’t expected. It felt like proof of how important this information was to Luuk, and if that were the case, then Natalie saw no reason to deprive him any longer.

“It’s not just what your mother did, but what the two of us did together.” Natalie fidgeted for a moment, visibly uncomfortable. Uncertain, even. These things had happened more than ten years ago, and Natalie hadn’t breathed a word of them to anyone since. It felt wrong to speak of it now, after so long. She’d promised Luuk that she would tell him, though, and Natalie planned to keep her word. There was no turning back now, no matter how painful ripping open these old wounds proved to be.

“Back when we first met, I told you about the time a group of humans started hunting down mages. Do you remember?” She’d wait patiently until Luuk nodded a confirmation, before pressing onwards. “After they killed your father, Tess and I were both terrified that we’d be next, so we put our heads together and came up with a plan. We approached the people who were coming after us, and offered them a compromise of sorts. A way they could get rid of the mages without further bloodshed.”

Unable to look at Luuk any longer, Natalie averted her gaze again. While her head was turned towards the building in front of them, the look in her eyes was distant, unfocused. “We told them that we’d use our power to wipe all knowledge of magic from the mind of every person who had ever used it. That we’d break our biggest taboo in a way that would ensure nobody else practiced magic ever again. Then, we’d devote the rest of our lives to monitoring these people, to making sure magic never returned, if only they’d spare us. They agreed.”

At this point, Natalie let out a soft sigh. Her shoulders drooped a little, disappointment etched into every line of her being. “I know how it sounds. Back then, we told ourselves that we were doing it for everyone’s sake. That a life without magic was better than a premature death. The lesser of two evils and all that. Now, though, think I can finally admit that was just to soothe our guilty consciences. An empty justification we used to make ourselves feel better. I just didn’t want to die. Your mother, on the other hand…we never spoke about it, but I suspect that she was worried about you. That she didn’t want to leave you an orphan.” Natalie punctuated her words with a sideways glance towards Luuk, before she’d turn away again.

“We did our work well. Too well. In less than a month, we tracked down and every living person who practiced magic, barring ourselves, and wiped their memories. Afterwards, we created new lives for them. Set them up in little makeshift families, and gave them fake memories to fill in the gaps. Then, when we were done, we arranged a meeting with the people we were working for.”

At this point, Natalie shook her head slightly, deriding her past self for her foolishness. She suspected that, by this point, Luuk had figured out where this was going. Now that she’d started, though, the former teacher found it impossible to stop. “We met them in a small park, late at night. Neutral ground, where nobody would be watching. When we arrived, we reported on our progress. Told them that we’d finished our initial work, so there was no need for any more bloodshed. That we’d do as promised, and monitor them for the rest of our lives, to make sure our magic never failed, and theirs never returned. Since we’d kept our word, we expected them to keep theirs, too. Like fools.”

Even now, so many years later, Natalie could remember that night with perfect clarity. The way a young Dr. V had nodded his satisfaction at their report. The way Tess had turned to leave, only for the professor to reach into his coat, and pull out a gun. She remembered screaming a warning, but too late. Then her ears had started ringing, and the smell of blood had filled the air. There was no point burdening Luuk with any specifics, though. Nor was there any way to soften the blow, really. So, she just came out and said it.

“As soon as your mother turned her back, Vetere pulled out a gun and shot her. When I tried to help, he turned the gun on me, and demanded I stop. He told me that monitoring the others was a one-person job, so our deal wasn’t fulfilled while there were two of us alive. That I was the lucky one. Natalie practically spat the word, before she finally fell silent.

That was that, then. Natalie felt like there was more to say, but she wasn’t sure what, so she opted to remain silent. Gave Luuk time to digest this new information, again. What would he think of her, now he knew the greater extent of her failings? Would this new information change how he viewed the mother he’d spent his entire life missing? Would he damn them for their actions, call them misguided, or think them justified? All burning questions that Natalie wanted the answers to, but didn’t dare ask. So instead, she waited. Again.

There was still the topic of the house before them that had to be addressed. The reason they were here, and her idea for how Luuk could help. But that would have to wait. Hopefully Luuk would still want to talk to her afterwards. Long enough to hear her out, at least.

[Ashen]

As Natalie continued with her explanation of what had happened in the past, Luuk’s mind tried to piece together all the information she was giving him and jump at its own conclusions. He had assumed that their enemies—Dr. V, and whomever he’d been working with over a decade ago—had succeeded in killing every mage but Natalie, but that didn’t explain why he could do what he could, or why he didn’t remember any of it. He was surprised to hear his mother and Natalie had come up with a plan together to stop the genocide of their people. They had wanted to kill magic, not mages, an unfortunate obligation to sparing their kind.

Luuk recalled Dr. V’s confusion when he had taken his memories. He once again thought of the life the man would live now, missing chunks of his own past. Luuk knew what that was like. He thought of Natalie, who now lived with memories that weren’t hers and a fleeting sense of her own identity. Luuk couldn’t imagine what it must have been like for all mages to lose themselves like that, to the great taboo of human magic—but then, of course he could. He had been one of those mages. Luuk turned away, his pale eyes darkening as his brow creased. The reason he couldn’t remember anything about his family, his magic, or himself was because his mother had taken all that away. To protect him, he reminded himself. To spare him from the same senseless death his father had faced.

Pain spread from his chest, deep and inconsolable, and Luuk couldn’t exactly place where it was coming from. He wanted to be thankful for his mother—she’d saved him, after all—but he was angry at her for taking herself away from him. For forcing Luuk to grow up without her, without memory of her, without knowing anything about who he once had been. If his mother had spared him her magic, he surely would have died. It was dumb, to wish for such an outcome. But the boy who had grown up without his mother longed for it, for the feel of his mother’s embrace being the last memory he would ever know.

He imagined his mother. Luuk imagined the woman he’d spent his whole remembered life dreaming about, the one with his pale eyes, or his sandy hair, or his awkward smile. He imagined her arm wrapped around his body, her hand brushing his cheek, her traitorous tears landing on the crown of his head. The touch of her fingers was all it had taken to sever their magical bond, to alter both their lives forever.

Luuk wondered what he had been like. A child of fifteen, had he been embarrassed to be so close to his mum? Had he tried to push away, not knowing it would be the last of her hugs he’d ever receive? Had she trusted him to the truth then, shared with him the pain of being apart, and maybe even the promise of re-teaching him everything she was taking away? But she’d never gotten that chance. And even if she knew it was a lie, Luuk wished he could hear that promise again. He would cherish it now, hold it close to his heart, and he would never forget it.

He turned his attention back to Natalie, trying to keep up with her confessions. His mind, ever overactive, was focused on too many things, too many truths revealed by Natalie’s revelation. Most powerful of his emotions was anger, which surprised him. He was angry at his mother, angry at Natalie, both for having taken everything from him. He was angry at the world, for cursing his people and for leading to their extinction. He was angry at having had to grow up not knowing about the sacrifices made to keep him alive.

Natalie explained what had happened to her mother and just how senseless her death had been. He couldn’t blame Natalie for what had happened. They had been betrayed, and it was just chance that left Natalie alive and not Luuk’s mother. He knew Natalie’s pain was greater than his, and he couldn’t imagine the darkness in her heart after everything that had happened. They had both lost families, friends, their identities, but Natalie had had to live with the weight of what once she’d lost, the guilt of her failed attempts to spare her brethren, while Luuk had forgotten it all, damned to live in search of a truth he never would have found alone. His pain paled in comparison to all that Natalie had witnessed, all she had done, and he turned away, embarrassed to have been mad at her at all. Natalie had done what she thought had been best. Luuk wondered if he would have done any differently.

He realized, then, that Natalie had been checking in with the victims of her magic for years. The constant reminders, the constant guilt, and the threat of Dr. V’s power preventing even a single day off. She had lived these last ten years tortured and afraid, and Luuk realized she was stronger than he could ever be.

And he wondered, when Natalie had reached out to him so long ago now, when she had sent him that email and agreed to meet him at that coffee shop, had she done so in an attempt to right what she had wronged? Or had she just been lonely, in need of someone with whom she could share the burden of her past? Whatever reason she had found him, Luuk couldn’t blame her. And…he was glad she’d taught him, despite all the things they’d had to face, despite all the painful truths Luuk had needed to learn.

Luuk turned his attention back to her, struggling to find the right words to say. He was filled with warring emotions—with resentment and anger and relief and gratitude and horror and sorrow—but there would be time later to process all of those. There would be time to address all of the things he could not yet describe, time to find help in coming to terms with the years he couldn’t remember, the past months he thought he would never survive. But for now, he and Natalie were here, alive, and it was thanks to her sacrifices and the sacrifice the other mages had made. He did not intend to waste them.

He nodded awkwardly, talking with his hands even before his mouth started moving. “Thank you,” he told her quietly. “For telling me all this. I know it probably wasn’t easy to.” He hesitated. “And thank you for…for doing this, too. All the sacrifices you’ve made to protect people. You have a good heart, Natalie. I know you probably haven’t spoken about this with anyone, and I’m honored, but I also want to tell you… It wasn’t your fault. You were betrayed, and Dr. V… He deserves worse than he got, for putting you through this.”

Luuk was no good at making people feel better, and he could feel his cheeks warm with his attempt. He didn’t know what else to say, or how to assure Natalie. But he could show her. With enough time, he was sure he could show her that her sacrifices had been worth it. If he had to single-handedly bring magic back to the world, to keep alive the art his ancestors had perfected, then somehow, he would do it.

Which brought him back to the only thing Natalie had yet to address. Luuk looked at the house they’d been standing in front of. Natalie had sad it belonged to people his mother had known. He wondered if they, too, had forgotten about her, and about their connection to her. Had they been mages, once, too? Luuk put things together himself, and he turned to Natalie, confusion spelt across his face. She didn’t want him to undo the magic she and his mother had done so long ago, did she? But he wasn’t skilled enough for that. He shook his head, trying to not jump to conclusions like he so often did. “So this house,” he said slowly, urging Natalie to go on.

[Namingtoohard]

Luuk’s eventual answer meant a great deal to Natalie, and not just because of the thanks and praise that he offered. It was the unspoken forgiveness that his words implied that made it feel like a great weight had been lifted from her chest. Natalie knew full well that his approval wasn’t enough to absolve her of all mistakes. That he didn’t speak for all the people that she had ever wronged. That forgiveness was something Natalie needed to find for herself. Rather, it was his willingness to move forward that she appreciated most. The revelation that, knowing everything she’d done, he still didn’t think her a monster. That he still wanted to speak with her, work with her, in spite of all her mistakes. That’s what mattered most to Natalie, and her relief was palpable.

“I’m glad you think so, Luuk. I feel like a good number of people would disagree, and I was worried that you would too. More worried than I’d like to admit, honestly.” A wry smile flickered across Natalie’s features while she spoke, vanishing just as quickly as it appeared. She looked set to say more, but Luuk’s former teacher hesitated, just for a moment, when he tried to direct her attention towards the house. They’d both said their piece; perhaps she should just leave it at that, and take the easy out that he’d offered her. Now that Natalie had finally opened up, though, she found it difficult to stop. Luuk had given her his forgiveness, and now his teacher felt like she needed him to understand just how grateful she was for it. Just how grateful she was for him.

“Before we get to the house, there’s one more thing I need to get off my chest, Luuk.” Natalie would clear her throat noisily before she continued, using the brief respite to help collect her thoughts. “There was a moment, before we met, when I considered sending myself down the same path as all the other mages. The guilt was so overwhelming, I almost used my soul stamp to remove my own magic and memories, just to be free of it. Then I told myself that if I was really so far gone, then I had nothing to lose by reaching out to you. I just want you to know that, standing here now, I’m very glad I did.”

When Natalie spoke those last few words, she threw another sideways glance towards Luuk. Offered him a shaky smile. Her thanks didn’t feel anywhere near as direct or eloquent as his had been, but he was smart. Luuk’s former teacher was sure that he’d understand. Now that was over, Natalie finally turned her attention to the last topic she’d wanted to cover today. The focus of Luuk’s most recent question, before she’d gone off on another tangent. The house that sat before them, and the reason that she’d chosen to have them meet here today.

“Now, the house. The people who lived here used to be mages, before your mother and I tampered with their minds. I’ve been coming to check on them regularly for years, but their memories have never shown any signs of returning. I always thought it was impossible…until I altered my own past.” At this point, Natalie finally straightened up. She stopped leaning on the fence and turned to face Luuk properly. When next she spoke, her voice was little more than a conspiratorial whisper, but a glimmer of excitement danced just behind her eyes. One that hadn’t been there a few moments earlier.

“We could never rebuild their memories from scratch, but after experiencing it myself, I realised that we don’t need to. All you have to do is remove the changes that your mother and I made, and everything else will come back to them.” Natalie was practically trembling with excitement, she realised, but there was no turning back now. “Back at the hospital, you told me that you wanted to help. Do something for all mages. Past, present, and future. Well, this is how, Luuk. You help by giving them back the magic that your mother and I stole from them.”

It was a lot to ask, Natalie knew. She’d just told Luuk that using magic on other people was taboo, after all, and with her own magic gone, he’d have to do all the real work. Beyond that, he’d still need a lot more practice before he’d be ready for a task this complex, and there were a lot of individual people whose memories they’d have to restore. Then they’d still need to explain everything that had happened to those poor individuals. Natalie would have to beg for their forgiveness. They’d need to try and help them adjust. After everything that had happened, though, Natalie couldn’t imagine doing anything else.

[Ashen]

Luuk was eager to find out why Natalie had brought him to this house, but when she delayed them with another confession, he turned to her with a new interest in his eyes. He was surprised to hear her reasons for contacting him, and after he took a moment to process them, he hesitated. Natalie had been relying on him, in a way, to show her that keeping her magic was still worth it. The realization dizzied him. If he had failed her—if he had deleted her email before ever responding, or if he had run away when she introduced him to their strange once-shared ability—what would have happened to Natalie? To all mages? Would magic have been erased from the world entirely?

Knowing that he had had that much power over the magic in the world was staggering, but he tried to swallow the thought. Everything had worked out in the end, hadn’t it? They were both still here, still alive, despite all of the things that had tried to ensure the opposite. Without trying, without even knowing, Luuk had somehow convinced Natalie that her magic was worth keeping. There was an irony in that. But Luuk was glad to have his teacher with him, even if she couldn’t perform the magic she wanted to. …Yet.

Ideas blossoming, Luuk looked back towards the house, his hands absently turning over the soul stamp he was still holding. The people living here could have been his aunts and uncles, his cousins, neighbors he was supposed to grow up with. But they had been changed—their lives had been stolen, had been spared. He wanted to meet them as much as he didn’t. What if they didn’t take well to the stranger going off about something they didn’t remember existing? What if they feared his magic? Natalie had been meeting with them regularly for years, but they didn’t know Luuk, didn’t know anything about magic, and Luuk had no idea how they would react to all of it. Would they, like Natalie feared, resent her for what she’d done? How would Luuk help people as stubborn as that?

Natalie continued, and the hint of her suggestion fell from her lips. She had brought Luuk here to introduce him to these people, to this family and many more. But there was more to it. She wanted to use magic to change them again. No—she wanted Luuk to change them.

Protests formed on his lips before he even had the chance to think them through. Luuk had been practicing magic for a few months; before that, he hadn’t even known it had existed at all. When Natalie and his mother had changed these people, they’d had their whole lifetimes up to that point of magical knowledge to work with. Luuk could never compare to that. He remembered what she had said about magic before all this, about performing magic on people, manipulating them, and the effects that that had had. Luuk didn’t want to do that. He didn’t want to chance that, because if he ruined things, he would never be able to live with himself. Dr. V had been different, had been a monster—these were innocent people he could be fracturing.

Luuk grew silent, his gaze faraway, as he struggled to comprehend what Natalie meant. She wanted him to—not perform magic on people, no. Instead, he would perform magic on the magic already in place. The magic barring them from the locked memories of their own lives. That was different, Luuk had to admit, but it sounded so complicated that he didn’t know how he would ever manage it. But Natalie was right; he had said he wanted to help all mages, and he still wanted that with all his heart. What better way to do that then to return what once was lost?

The soul stamp in his hands captured his attention again. There were so many lines, so many intersecting patterns and shapes, that he was sure it would take an entire semester just to memorize all the lines, let alone understand them. But…he had the time. And he had Natalie. Even if she couldn’t explain what her magic had once meant, not yet, she was there to encourage him, and to bring him to the people he should have known, and to let them encourage him. It was a huge undertaking, one that would require many years of patience, tireless studying, of determination, but it would be worth it. It would be worth it to live in a world his parents would have been proud of, where mages were safe, and celebrated, and alive.

After wordlessly asking Natalie’s permission, Luuk pocketed the soul stamp. Then, he turned once more to face the quaint house. Inside was just one family he would be working to save from the blank slate of their memories, but it was a start. For now, he wanted to meet the people his mother had known and reintroduce them to the world he was determined to bring back to them. He offered a nervous smile to Natalie. There was a lot of work ahead of them both, but for now, they only had to take the first steps.

And so, with a nod towards each other, they walked towards the front door together.