[M] Sniped Through the Heart (Iwazuma x Hannelorian)

[Iwazuma]

Regina waited patiently with her slop for Anke to arrive, more than content to wait for her company before engaging in breakfast. It was rude to eat without everyone being there, after all. Her mother had taught her that. Wait, what? Regina clamped onto the errant thought and refused to simply let it pass. Her mother? Regina strained, trying to come up with more. She had taught her politeness at the dinner table? Regina squeezed her eyes shut, trying to come up with more, but eventually sighed and shook her head. It was no use. Forcing the memories was only going to make it all the harder to actually have them come to her. She had come up with a tiny bit. That in and of itself was good. But for now, Anke was in front of her, and that was what was important.

Regina blinked at Anke's insistence that the past was the past. Maybe she couldn't change anything, but to simply forget and move on felt irrational at best. She'd clung to every failure in years past, using them as fuel to her fire for improvement. Not that her failures were many-in fact, prior to this year, she could count on less than one hand the number of critical mistakes she'd made. So much had changed with Anke's arrival. She wondered if somehow, that had been planned. At the very least, Anke seemed to acknowledge her need to do better, so Regina kept her gaze firmly fixed on Anke as she spoke. She had to...trust her. Regina cocked her head. Bad news...about Osnen? Regina wondered if she meant with regards to her loyalty. Regina had to trust her, believe her. She closed her eyes, taking a bite of slop as she tried to consider the meaning behind it. Trust that Osnen...wasn't right for her?

Regina opened her eyes again. It didn't feel right. Of course it didn't feel right. How could it? To show disloyalty to the people who saved her life was akin to sacrilege. But if it was for Anke, to show her they could be strong together... "...okay." Regina ceded with a quiet expression. "I'll try my best." Regina nodded once, knowing full well such a commitment would be a difficult endeavor. Luckily, Anke gave her a much easier task, one that had her cheeks colored pink at the implication. "Okay." This 'okay' was much less heavy, one that sounded more hopeful and light. Regina went at her slop again quietly, thinking about what the day ought to entail. Shooting...still didn't feel right. She needed to wash the bad taste of the missed shots out of her head, and the range was only going to compound that issue. She could force the training tomorrow, but today she'd get nothing done, of that she was certain.

"For today, I was thinking we could simply do some cardio. A 5k wouldn't be a bad use of time." Regina figured a run with Anke would be pleasurable enough for both of them, as well as a good use of time to train her stamina. It had been a while since she did some running outside of the gym, and the weather looked pleasant, the dust levels from the Badlands seemingly kept to a minimum for the day. "After that, an afternoon of relaxing while we get the paperwork for your transfer." That likely meant a session of cleaning her guns, which by now was therapeutic to Regina. A nice bit of a change of pace. To her, a run and maintenance was the example of a do-nothing day, a day where Regina was 'lazy'. "Unless you had any ideas?" Regina didn't want to command the conversation nor their plans, knowing full well Anke often had ideas that she couldn't possibly come up with.

[Hannelorian]

"Cardio?" Anke asked with a sigh. "You want me to run a casual 5k?" Anke's idea of a relaxing day did not include running. But if it was something that would make Regina happy, Anke would do it. Running was something that required effort, but also left too much time to think. Her mind would feel clear, able to dwell perhaps for a little too long on uncomfortable subjects. Or her mind would run wild with thoughts on the mysterious operation that had been recorded on the check from last night's dinner. But nothing could be done, so what good would it do to dwell on these things? Anke wanted anything but that.

"Ugh... well... okay." Anke eventually would give in and agree to go on the run. A 5k wasn't the worst thing in the world, Anke could do this. Especially for Regina. "The badlands eh?" A part of Anke enjoyed how barren the badlands were, how the dust clouds settled and stormed in alternating cycles. It was a delicate little dance that happened each and every day. It was comforting in a sense, the routine of it all.

"I'm not sure, but I got to choose dinner last night so you can choose an activity. Or simply nothing but rest if you prefer." Anke knew that Regina had been struggling, and perhaps letting her choose her own destiny for the day would be something of a comfort. She had already endured the quote, unquote failure of the mission, there had been spending the night in Anke's bunk with all of her comrades. That seemed like enough of a sacrifice, and Anke felt the need to ask for nothing more. "I just want to spend time with you." That was her one and only request, simple enough as it was.

[Iwazuma]

Regina, after watching Anke carefully, had come to a determination that she was about to make a critical mistake if she proceeded with her plan. "Do you...not like running?" Regina asked inquisitively, evidently concerned with Anke's well-being and preferences as she set her spoon down in her slop. She didn't want a repeat of the last couple times. There'd been too much stress, too many hiccups. Why couldn't they just do something together that was fun? Regina folded her arms, staring down at her slop for a moment. Regina liked runs. Running was a good way for her to completely empty her head, focusing on nothing but the ground in front of her and the rhythmic motion of her legs. She could zone out and watch an hour pass before she began to tire out, if she paced herself well enough. But Anke was clearly...not necessarily unhappy or stressed, but clearly not particularly pleased with the prospect. Even if she was agreeing to it, it was clearly not excited. Regina wasn't about that.

"W-we don't have to if you don't want to." Regina quickly backtracked, thinking to herself what might be more appropriate to both of them. Other training routines she could use..."We could..." Why was she blanking on this? So many options were ahead of her. But they'd spent a fair bit of time at the gym, the range and the gallery seemed like terrible ideas at the time, and clearly Anke didn't really want to go running outside of pleasing Regina, so..."Er..." Regina bit her lip, staring down at her slop as she felt herself slowly locking up, her burgeoning emotions melting away to the robotic calculator she often became during times of intense focus...or constantly before she'd met Anke. She let her thoughts whir, focusing entirely on what would make them both happy and also be effective training. Something that would be effective, efficient. Just under new parameters.

"Hrrrr...." Regina was thinking like a machine, trying to calculate the best possible course of action for them. "Mmm...unless you want to go to the Warzone..." The Warzone was an in-compound battleground area designed to help soldiers practice their field awareness and active shooting. It had. However, a few years before her arrival, someone had had the brilliant idea to have a paintball match in there, and ever since the tradition stuck. The Warzone had an average of two matches a day and many took the games as seriously, if not more, as their real mission work. Regina typically avoided the Warzone for a few reasons, but she was willing to sacrifice whatever she needed for Anke to be happy. Anke was insisting she just wanted to spend time with her, but to Regina that simply wasn't enough. She wanted to do something Anke would enjoy. "I am having trouble coming up with training options I feel you would be comfortable doing with me. How do you train normally?" Regina finally decided to ask the question, her arms still folded as she regarded her girlfriend inquisitively. "I do not wish this to be entirely about me. I would prefer if you were happy."

[Hannelorian]

"I shoot. I work out." Anke answered the question rather simply, her training routine was not nearly as intense as Regina's and for all she knew that was part of the reason why she would never catch up to Regina's records. She worked hard, trained hard, but no matter what it would never be enough. Though Anke had to suppose that she was contented enough however with the work she did. She had achieved awards enough. "Perhaps you take a break just for a day, give yourself time to recover from yesterday." Anke was a bit lost for words or ideas. Everything had been swirling around in her head and it all seemed so far...

"Warzone no thanks. I feel like the last thing we need is to gather and play wargames and just... wipe the floor with some poor unsuspecting normies." Anke rolled her eyes. It was ultra competitive, and while Anke no doubt knew the two of them would excel, they would trample anyone who dared oppose them. But that was not what was on her mind, not on this day. "How do you feel... about bowling?" Anke had never been bowling. Not even a single time, but she had known there was an ally on the base, and that it was something that might be intriguing.

"You could say it's practice for your hand eye coordination or some such if you insist on viewing everything as a training exercise." Anke was rather pleased with herself for that comment. It was something that could be fun, could be amusing. A pleasant distraction that would keep them locked in one another. They could focus on some friendly competition, or... something that would help them connect. Maybe it would truly be good for them. Or perhaps it would simply be something like a band-aid, just a temporary cover up over what would be a larger problem. But for the time being none of it mattered.

"Or we could just sit in bed all day..." Anke sighed, lost in a day dream of what could one day be. Mornings where they wake up together, enjoy a coffee and do something normal like read a paper or an old fashioned book. Something that seemed like a life of simplicity and ease, something so far away from what they had both been so accustomed to. So entrenched in.

[Iwazuma]

Regina truly seemed baffled by Anke's nonchalant response to how she trained. Just...shoot and work out. Regina had been working a very strict regimen for years to train herself to be the best of the best. Anke nearly caught up with her without seeming to put serious thought about it. If she had truly applied herself and worked to the levels Regina had, would Anke have caught her? And just how deep might the gap have been? Such thoughts were unsettling. Regina bit her lip, thinking of an alternate universe where Anke did try to maximize her potential. The thought was staggering, to say the least. Regina wanted to think about anything but the idea of being second fiddle. So instead, she cocked her head at Anke's next suggestion. "A...break."

Regina didn't really gel too well with breaks. She knew rest was necessary for muscle growth, but she figured sleep was usually enough for that. But with Anke suggesting it, and the events that transpired...she just didn't know. Regina stared down at her slop, taking another bite and remaining silent as she spoke about how Warzone would simply be too easy for them. Though Regina wanted to speak up and correct her, she simply kept quiet. The one time Regina had played in a Warzone round, every single other person had chased her down. While Regina was the best of the best, even she would stand no shot against an entire Osnen squadron hunting her. Her presence tended to spark fear in others, and the chance to take out the Terminator clearly hadn't been lost on them.

Bowling, though..."Mmm..." Regina had never been to the bowling alley on the compound. She'd never really considered it any more than a leisure activity, and certainly not an exercise or sport. She hummed softly to herself, thinking about the possibility. Anke wanted to try it, and she insisted it could be an exercise. Regina figured that sounded like a longshot from Anke at best. But her last suggestion...sit in bed. Regina was about to dismiss that outright, but Regina heard the wistful sigh and the faraway look in Anke's eyes as she spoke. Regina quickly calculated in her head that this was what Anke really wanted. She didn't know how to place it, but she had a distinct feeling Anke wanted a day off.

Regina took one more bite of her slop and rose to her feet, picking up the tray and setting it in the disposal area. "Okay." Regina spoke quietly and automatically, walking around to Anke's side. "Bowling sounds like an evening activity. We can go out and do that then. Until then..." Regina closed her eyes, feeling a strange weight on her as she prepared to voice her mind. Something that Anke wanted, instead of her..."We can go back to bed. Take one of the 'breaks' you mentioned." Regina held out her human hand, offering it to Anke curiously, wondering if this was appropriate, what girlfriends did for each other. "Maybe...you can teach me more about..." Regina looked away, a hint of apprehension in her voice. "Being human."

[Hannelorian]

"Really?" Anke asked almost skeptical, but without so much as a moment's hesitation she took Regina's hand into her own and held it there between them for a moment before moving to walk alongside her, the two slowly making their way back to Regina's room. A room that in due time might just as well become her own. Though how the two would actually do when living together remained to be seen. Right now Anke could come and go as she pleased, it was her choice to spend her nights there, but now... now it would not be a choice beside the singular choice of moving in. Then it was simply life.

When the two arrived Anke immediately removed her shoes and moved to lay down on the bed. She exhaled deeply and looked at the ceiling for a moment. "I know doing... nothing isn't your thing." Anke said rather appreciatively. "But this isn't exactly nothing... it's rest and reflection. It's a time for us to connect on a deeper level." Anke wasn't entirely sure what she wanted to say, or what she even meant. Yes, working out and maintaining the strict training regime that was prescribed to them was important... but so was a sense of self. Anke had relished in the small action of even holding hands. It was effortless and felt natural, like it was supposed to happen.

"You need to be more comfortable with me." Anke raised herself to a seated position and then a standing one. Without so much another thought she slowly began to remove her clothing until there was nothing left on her frame. She stood there with every last scar, every last imperfection. In the light there was nothing hidden, nothing left to the imagination. "And that starts by getting to know me." Anke stepped forward slightly until she could wrap her arms around Regina and draw her in closer, close enough now to press her lips to that of her girlfriend's and do so like she meant it. Like she had an addiction, a powerful craving for Regina.

When their lips had parted Anke smiled. "Touch me. Feel my skin... ask me about scars... birth marks... be comfortable feeling me... learn my body like you would your own." Anke was being forward, but she didn't want to push too hard. Anke enjoyed physical contact, the warmth of someone's flesh upon her own. She wanted Regina to some day be more open to intimacy, to genuine connection but small steps at first. The tiniest of steps that would eventually lead to something amazing and worth pursuing. "Or just lay with me. Tell me things... about your thoughts, your views on the world... anything." Anke spoke softly as she held Regina there, lost in the moment.

[Iwazuma]

Regina wasn't sure why, but watching Anke's reaction to her desire to return to her room felt...weirdly good. There was a warmth in her chest that only compounded when Anke squeezed her hand and held it close before walking with her back to her room. The genuine surprise on her face was expected, but...not awful. Regina remained silent as the two took their time walking back, watching her asymmetrical footfalls and wondering just how she'd managed to find herself in this situation. Not that it was a bad situation...just one that Regina wondered how she got to. She glanced over to Anke, and felt her face heating up; she quickly cast her eyes back to the floor, finding it difficult to maintain eye contact. She shivered slightly as she let the both of them in her room, then watched as Anke got comfortable on her bed. The sight was...lightening. That was the best way she could put it. It was a sight she wanted to watch as long as she could...Anke happy. Happiness was an emotion she didn't comprehend...but she felt that Anke was happy. At least a little.

Anke was right; nothing really wasn't her thing, not in the slightest. Any time spent resting could be spent training, studying, simulating. Perhaps rest was something she needed to do more of; she often felt far more exhausted than she had any business being. She simply felt restless doing nothing at all, like she could be doing something more productive to Osnen if not herself. But Anke wanted to rest...and reflect. Connect. Regina often wondered just what that meant, forming a connection between people. She understood people who dated often had that, but how did it work? Was it something like a way for them to communicate? Or simply...understand? Regina wasn't about to say no to Anke. It just meant she'd have to put in the effort, even if the effort was currently directionless. Certainly a challenge.

Regina raised an eyebrow at the note that she needed to be more comfortable with Anke. She let Anke in her room, be close together, work together...there was comfort there on a level far beyond any other soldier in the compound. That raised eyebrow turned to two and a blink of surprise as Anke quickly stripped herself of her clothing, leaving her naked on her bed. Getting to know her...Regina could feel the heat return as she said nothing, but it seemed Anke was prepared for that. She was close in a moment, and then their lips met. Regina's eyes instinctively closed, letting Anke guide the moment between them. After a shy moment, Regina let what little instinct she had for the situation take over, and began to gently return the kiss, tying to follow Anke's movements and react accordingly. In the back of her head, she was surprised she had any response at all...but the rest of her brain didn't respond, lost in the moment with her girlfriend. Anke's lips were soft, experienced, gently guiding Regina along a path she didn't know how to take herself...

And then it was gone, leaving Regina flushed in the face and staring at a smiling Anke, who was insisting that she touch her, get to know her by any means she could. Regina was sluggish to respond, still getting used to the wave of heat and...something else. Like a gentle, but burning something. Desire? It was like she wanted Anke. Wanted to be close to her. Just...wanted her near. Regina moved to lay down on the bed with Anke, watching her with an air of nervousness. She obeyed Anke's command, letting her right hand gently wander across Anke's body, pausing here and there at roughness on her otherwise smooth skin. Scars, signs of the past...things Regina feared. "Your scars..." Regina shivered thinking about them. "You are...stronger than I am." Regina couldn't show hers. Her weakness. Her imperfections. She'd asked for thoughts, too..."I don't...understand most emotions. It's like...I cannot place the word for how I am feeling most of the time. I'm not used to not having to ignore them and block them out." Regina found the words coming easier then she expected while her fingertips continued to trace slowly, gently. "There are only a few I understand since...since I was told it's okay." A small sigh. "I...I think I understand fear. And I feel fear...a lot." Regina buried her head in Anke's shoulder, pausing a moment to place a small kiss on the flesh she found there. Anke was strong. Something to cling to. "Afraid what will happen if I do fail again. Happen to me, to you..." Regina sighed, trying to keep herself composed. Her hand drifted higher, skirting politely and nervously around the swell of her breasts to rest on her chest. She could feel the gentle heartbeat of her girlfriend beneath her hand...

[Hannelorian]

The feeling of Regina's fingers against her naked flesh was almost intoxicating. Anke could feel her breath quicken as the delicate tips roamed about her body. Feeling the rough patterns of scars, and the smoothness that otherwise surrounded them. Anke would move to rest her hand atop of Regina's and gently guide it back over the areas she had quickly skirted, over her breasts and finally to rest back above her heart. "Stronger is a relative term." Anke did not consider herself stronger than Regina. They were simply put, different. "We are... strong in different ways." Anke's voice was soft but not quite a whisper, only loud enough for Regina to hear, even though they were alone.

"I am proud of my scars..." Anke confessed. "They are signs of everything I survived to get to where I am... nothing stopped me. Not even you." She was serious on that last part, she still bore the scars of the surgery that saved her life after Regina had shot her. There was no going back and undoing that, but now all it was... was a scar. A simple reminder of what had happened, what she had lost. And in time it would continue to fade. "You survived so much... so much worse than what I had..." Anke felt her hand slide across the bed and arch upward, to run her fingers through Regina's hair.

"That is something to be proud of... not ashamed... yeah, they had to replace parts of you... but you lived. How many people could possibly say the same?" None, it was none, because anyone else they had tried it with had died. Or at least this is what Anke believed to be true. If there were other successes, they hadn't seen them. They hadn't been allowed to leave whatever lab they were in... maybe because it was garish, or maybe because despite the successes the experiments needed to be put out of their misery.

"You know that many people have difficulty processing their emotions. Understanding them... knowing what they mean and how to deal with them." Of course Anke knew that Regina had more difficulty than the others, but perhaps it would be nice to know she wasn't so entirely alone. "Eventually you'll learn what they are called... and in the mean time you can try to describe it, and we'll... figure it out. Together." Anke breathed in deeply and smiled softly. Leaning toward Regina's head against her shoulder to kiss the top of it ever so gently.

"Fear is an easy to understand... it's so big... so consuming... but you can name it." Anke too was afraid of many things, some of them the same as Regina. "Fear is normal.... healthy to a degree." All emotions by and large were things to be discussed, things to be accepted, and were normal. "You just have to control it... and push it down before you let it stop you from doing the things you would like to. The things you long to do... you have the right to live your life, Regina." Anke said softly. "You don't need an invitation."

[Iwazuma]

Regina knew when to keep quiet, and after her latest admission, she figured it was best if she let Anke fill the void between them for a moment. Regina shivered as Anke guided her hand over areas she felt awkward touching, closing her eyes as she simply let the moment happen. She was supposed to be used to touching her girlfriend...it was all Anke wanted. To touch and to be touch. To give and be given affection. Regina tried to her best, but felt her breath catching in her throat as she did so. It still felt forbidden, for whatever reason or another. She knew what the other soldiers did in the barracks, but for some reason Regina always felt like that was something simply not meant for her. Truly, she didn't understand. It was a mystery to her why she felt she had to be...different. She always felt such distractions were unbecoming of a soldier.

Yet here she was, with the other most fearsome sniper in Osnen, holding her close like she might vanish were she to let go.

Regina sighed to herself as she tried to focus on Anke's words. Scars...to be proud of? Regina wasn't sure how Anke managed that. "I...survived..." She couldn't dispute that one. She was still here. She'd fought through the collapse of a building and an explosion that had taken out her entire family long enough to be rescued and repaired. She still soldiered on in spite of it, fought every day when others would be content to simply let go. Regina couldn't argue that fact. But her scars still felt a reminder of those times when she'd failed, when she wasn't strong enough to get out unscathed. A crack in the armor of the perfect soldier. Regina still couldn't get past that fact. But Anke kept wanting to see beyond, to see as much of Regina as she could...

Hearing Anke speak of fear brought another shiver to Regina. Discussing it so openly left he feeling more than a tiny bit nervous and confused. How Anke managed to control her own fear...Regina didn't understand. Control was something she'd had in her life for what felt like forever. She'd focused so much on simply destroying what emotions she had, and through that gained a stranglehold on her life. But now that these emotions ran free, she wasn't sure how to keep them wrangled. When a pang of fear ran through her, it felt crippling and consuming. But if Anke wanted to know it all, know everything...the right to live her life. She knew her canned response was that her life was Osnen's, that her entire existence was to serve, but Anke would get annoyed if she gave that again...so she said nothing on that matter. Her life to live...

After a moment of tense silence, Regina shifted beneath Anke, giving herself a little bit of space. She shrugged out of the one-armed combat jacket she'd been wearing, leaving just her undershirt. Regina took a long, deep breath. "You...wanted to...see." This was what controlling her fear meant, right? Regina reached to her shirt, lifting it up partway, enough for Anke to see her skin beneath the fabric. Her hand trembled as she revealed the heavily scarred left side of her body. Where metal met flesh, the nearby skin was rough and uneven with scars that varied in length from small incisions to one long mark that ran the entire length of her side, disappearing under the rest of her shirt to end somewhere above her left breast. Regina's eyes squeezed shut and she looked away, shame washing over her as she revealed one of her darkest kept secrets to the woman before her. Her pain, her reminder of imperfection. That no matter what, she would always be reminded of what once was.

[Hannelorian]

Anke didn't understand what was happening. Or rather, she could not believe what was happening. Regina was doing something unexpected. Anke knew deeply well how painful this was for Regina, and how much she disliked her scars, her synthetic parts. It was like a shock set over her, a brief moment where she had no idea what to do or how to respond to this situation. But that washed away rather quickly as Anke cast her eyes down to Regina's exposed torso. It was beautiful. Anke's face visibly softened.

Instinctively she reached a hand out and gently rested it on the exposed skin and metal, fingers ever so delicately tracing along some of the scar tissue. Indeed, there was no one in the world like Regina, and for the life of her Anke couldn't understand how she would or could be ashamed of these marks, of the metal that preserved her. She got to live and be here for Anke because of Osnen did. Osnen saved her. And now Anke could enjoy her. Perhaps that was the only good thing Osnen had done in recent past. "I hope I'm not hurting you." Anke said softly as she cast her eyes up, noticing that Regina was looking away.

"Regina..." Anke's hands left her torso and moved upward to her cheeks to turn her head back to face her. "Look at me Regina." Anke did not command, but her tone was slightly more forceful than it had been. "Thank you... for showing me. For allowing yourself to be vulnerable." Anke could not begin to fathom just how difficult this had been for Regina, how painful. "I think you're beautiful. No scars or metal would change that. You are incredible just the way you are." Anke smiled brightly hoping that Regina would open her eyes and look at her and see her face and know that her words were true.

"You don't have to be afraid to show me." Anke added. "I'm not going to judge you, or think poorly of you... I know you lost so very much... but this too is part of who you are." Anke wished she had the right words, the perfect words to make Regina understand how she felt, but she didn't. Anke didn't truly know what to say or how to best say it. She didn't know what the answers were. All she knew is that right here and now she was bursting with pride for Regina's courage, her bravery in this moment, and so grateful that she would take this enormous step forward in their relationship.