[M] War and Peace ~ Breggo and Hannelorian [IC]

[Breggo13]

Julius didn’t move, watching her move but not willing to trust himself to remain away. As she described her version of close, he involuntarily pictured it and then his mind drew how it would look when she experienced her first climax, her first release, his name on her lips. It was certainly a captivating image and, by that virtue alone, dangerous. As much as his body craved hers, Julius Carleone was not willing to neither wed nor duel - both were tediously boring and required too much effort. And so, he allowed only his eyes to feast on the vision her body was. He didn’t move to hold her when she pressed up against him, her scent hitting him in an overpowering way nor did he kiss her back when her lips found his.

“Perhaps its better you never find out - I’d hate to ruin your husband’s bed for you before the poor chap even had a chance,” Julius responded with a smirk but the humour didn’t fully reach his eyes, not the same way as before. The hell had just happened? Did he really allow this girl to ruin her life - in the old fashioned way at least - without even trying to stop her? And what if any of his friends found out? How soon would Liam demand satisfaction in the form of his blood? At least hopefully only his blood, Julius prayed. And more daunting, how quickly would he be tied to matrimony if Lady Margot found out? Shaking his head, he turned away as Nora disappeared into the servant’s corridor.

With the thrill of the game ruined thanks to Westley’s rather ridiculous timing, the cold reality was setting in. Pacing towards the privy where the cold shower stood in the corner, away from the bath in the adjacent dressing room, Julius shed the towel, stepping to stand under the numbing coldness, the desire slowly seeping out of his body. The damage was already done - the small drops of blood proved what he had wondered from the begining and there was no going back. The only question now was - how was he to move forward? For him, the whole encounter was spontaneous fun, a crazy screw-the-consequences conquest of a woman who was strong, bold and alluring. For her, however, what was it? A way to catch a husband or a means for attention? A guarantee that Liam was never able to marry her off or a gamble that he would marry her off sooner to the first old geezer who’d come along? And what exactly was Julius most unnerved by?

“Que sera, sera,” he murmured, pushing away all the thoughts and stepping out of the water. No point in trying to overanalyze the future - he would be fine. After all, Radisson was forgiven and even Westley made peace with Marcus. Well, almost. In any case, he doubted Nora was willing to marry after a single night - if she did, she wouldn’t have argued so feverishly with her mother in the library. Thus, as long as no one found out, it would be his dirty little secret. And Julius was rather good at keeping secrets.

The breakfast room was nearly full by the time Julius arrived, freshly washed and dressed in clean clothes, looking charming and impeccable as usual. At the table, he could see Radisson and Westley speaking about something, the blonde still followed by a dark cloud but none of them could begrudge their friend his downcast, angry deposition. Emeric was picking at his food, looking rather pensive, propping his chin on his hand in thought. Darius sat beside him with a huge pile of fluffy pancakes, slowly buttering the top one, a similarly impressive mountain of ham, bacon and eggs in a second plate beside him.

“Did we not feed you properly in the capital, Dari?” Julius chuckled, making the younger man blush slightly. Stepping so that he was leaning over his friend’s shoulder, the Islander took a strong whiff before sneakily stealing a piece of crispy bacon. As Darius threw his head up in protest, Julius danced away, wagging his prize in the air. “Didn’t your mother tell you sharing is caring or some sort of lesson?”

“She told me to choose better friends,” the Vale responded with a roll of his eyes. Radisson and Westley both laughed and Emeric only shook his head.

“Oh come now, what’s the fun in that?” Julius asked smugly. “It was certainly share and share alike at home.”

“The same way you like to share your women?” Emeric asked innocently, Darius choking on his juice he had taken a sip off. Patting the youngest man, the Islander wiggled his eyebrows.

“I am never against sharing - problem is my women, the poor dears, are permanently turned off other men after spending a night with me.”

“Cocky much?” Radisson scoffed as Julius took a bite of the bacon, his eyes twinking with amusement.

“Just facts, Radi old boy, just facts.”

[Hannelorian]

Nora continued her tradition of taking her meals in private, seeing little need to surround herself with the men of the flight and the excess bravado they exuded at practically all times. It was rather exhausting, and after her previous activities it seemed wisest to keep her distance for the time being. Lady Margot ate quickly, her mind awash with concerns though she remained present and smiling, enjoying the simple fact that her house was full for the first time in what felt like ages. It was good to have her son home, no matter how long or short their time would be together. Valadis was a cold place, a place she detested going though she would if ever asked.

George sat beside her intended, chipping away at a much smaller stack of pancakes, her eyes glancing around the room as each of the boys seemed to settle in and eventually Beatrix and the two young boys made their way to the table, the Dowager Duchess sitting beside George offering a faint trace of a smile. She had arrived just in time to hear Julius banter about his women, triggering an eye roll from Beatrix. "Oh dear Julius, you might wish to be more polite at the table lest I spoil your little secret hmm?" Beatrix spoke audibly and clearly, and while she did in fact, not know what had just occurred with Nora, she had the kernel of information from Saskia in the back of her mind. Lady Margot seemed so preoccupied the comment passed her by.

"You are in the presence of ladies, and you should act like a gentleman." She chided the man and sighed deeply. George perking up and laughing at the situation, severely out of the loop on a great many things as it would turn out. "Is the Empress not joining us this morning? Or Lord Rhydderch?" George asked rather innocently enough. The question prompted Beatrix to exchange a glance with Lady Margot. The two of them silently determining what if anything should be said in the presence of others.

"Her Majesty is resting." Beatrix put it simply and gave no further detail than that. Lady Margot would offer slightly more insight into the situation. "The Empress and the Duke had much to discuss regarding the response to the latest attack. I imagine rest is not something she's prioritized." Lady Margot looked down at her empty plate and left well enough alone. George for the moment seemed displeased with the answers she had been given, and very gracefully give Beatrix a swift kick to the shin causing the woman to whimper in pain and cast a glare at George who was never one to be subtle.

"Raddison and I have decided to move up the wedding... as soon as Sas.. the Empress will allow us." George finally spoke the words and turned to Raddison leaning a head on his shoulder briefly. "And of course, Lady Margot, it is your house after all." Her glance then shifted to the woman who seemed rather content with the notion. "This hasn't been my house since the Empress showed up at my doorstep." Lady Margot was genuinely amused, but Saskia did have a way of taking command of just about everything. "We would be happy to play host to the both of you." Lady Margot offered. Even though a wedding seemed to be what landed them in this situation, this one seemed like it would be a happier occasion.

"It is for the best, I think." George conceded to the simple fact that Saskia had been correct. "Shall we take a walk Lady Eaves?" George inquired and Beatrix nodded her head. The two women rising from the table and ready to depart the men. "Don't let Westley get into trouble boys." George called behind her as the two ladies walked out of the room. "Are you going to keep lying?" George finally asked when the two were relatively alone save for a passing servant or two.

"How do you know I'm lying?" Beatrix countered with something of a shrug.

"Because I've spent enough time with you to know when you're lying." George retorted with something of a sneer. "Now are you going to say or do I need to march myself up to Saskia's room?" George stopped moving when the two were far away enough, her hand moving to grab Beatrix's arm and pulled her into conversation. "You don't want to do that." Beatrix sighed heavily and wrested her arm free, continuing to walk leaving George to follow.

"Is she not my mistress too? My friend?" George was practically pleading with Beatrix to know what was happening.

Beatrix sighed one last time, heavily and turned to face the Princess. "Saskia miscarried in the night. Liam is with her now. She's asleep and probably doesn't know what's happened." Beatrix spoke almost impossibly quietly, bringing herself physically closer to George to ensure she was heard, and most importantly that no one else did. George's eyes widened as she gripped Beatrix's arm once more, as though in disbelief. "Celebrimbor be damned... as if she needed something else." George instinctively pressed her free hand to her stomach, grateful in a selfish way that it hadn't happened to her.

Sometime that afternoon Nora found her way to the Empress' rooms carrying a tray of food, slowly opening the door and slipping in she scanned the room for Liam. "Mom told me what happened." Nora said softly as she looked over to the bed to see Saskia straining in what looked like a bad dream. "Food's for you." She added placing the tray down on a nearby wooden table. "Are... you alright? You've been through a lot. I'm surprised you're here and not one of the girls... oh and don't worry no one has said anything to the men. Unless Emeric's said something by now." Nora puttered across the room, moving to sit in the same chair Beatrix had once rested in, her eyes falling upon her brother, worried about the look on his face. For all their differences, they were still family and always would be.

[Breggo13]

“One, threatening blackmail at the breakfast table is certainly not a lady-like thing to do, Bea darlin’,” Julius raised his free hand in the air with a finger. Slowly the second rose to match it, his face illuminated with wild bemusement. “Second, it sets a rather fowl tone for so early in the morning, don’t you think? And third, what kind of example are you setting for young boys? That they should be afraid to be confident? Shy away from life?”

“Shall I fetch you a shovel?” Emeric asked innocently, green eyes wide with concern. “Or would you prefer a ladder to climb back out of this hole you’re digging?”

“If you desire to stand up, can you fetch me some of the pancakes?” the Islander laughed, dodging as the redhead man threw a strip of bacon at him, the meat instantly disappearing as a hound, silently stalking the party licked it up, scuttling away. Laughing, Julius bit into his own snack, leaving the bacon sticking out of his mouth before turning to the breakfast selection. The moment of quiet allowed him a second to steady his breathe - what was Beatrix talking about just then? Which of his secrets was the woman referring to? He had often heard Marcus preach that it was better to keep friends close and enemies closer however, Julius preferred to keep enemies as far away as possible. More like out of sight, out of mind.

“A winter wedding? Are you sure George?” he asked with a quick of an eyebrow, sliding into a chair deliberately across from Lady Margot, shooting the older dowager his best smile. As much as he wanted everything out of sight, there was certainly no harm in trying to establish some connection with the woman who may - assuming he was still breathing when it happened - become his mother in law. The blonde woman only shook her head, giving a curt twitch of the lips in return. If he had ever wondered where Liam had gotten his ice-cold control, Julius was clearly seeing the family resemblance now.

“I had a winter wedding, Julius,” the dowager responded cooly before turning to the engaged couple with a much softer demeanor. “I would never have dared do so in Valadis - too muddy and wet for such an affair but my husband - may Calembribor warm his soul - was willing to have it here, in his family home. He had the whole garden decorated with small lights that seemed to twinkle like stars and there were great fires for those who wanted to enjoy the northern lights. We opened the doors in the ballroom so that the dancers didn’t sweat and the mulled wine kept us going for the whole night.”

“I remember,” Margot smiled softly, her eyes becoming distant, “I was so nervous that day that I could barely eat anything even though I felt rather faint. My mother was more nervous than I, afraid that something would go wrong but Noah and I were in such love, not even dragon fire could keep us apart. Well, he felt how nervous I must have been as he sent Freed who was just a boy at the time with my favorite sweets and mulled wine, much to my mother’s chagrin. He asked the kitchen staff to spin sugar to look like little butterflies and flowers.”

“He was a romantic,” Julius’ own expression softened to genuine contentment, none of his typical bravado. Around the table, the men nodded along.

“Well, all that to say I understand true love, Earl,” Margot snapped back, carefully dabbing the corners of her mouth with a napkin before standing up. “And I understand lust - believe me when I say, it takes a very strong person to step away and do the right thing.”

“Perhaps we can walk the gardens?” Radisson turned to George who only patted his arm, her eyes presently focused on Beatrix. Frowning for a second, the man sighed and nodded, returning to his food. Soon, leaving the two young boys under Darius’ care, the woman departed, leaving the breakfast room once again a rather fine brotherhood.

“What is going on?” Radisson was the first to speak, assuming the leadership position by virtue of their informal hierarchy. “Emeric, what happened?”

“How would I know?” the redhead blinked in confusion but his methodical, nervous pushing of food around his plate gave away his true thoughts. The four remaining flight members exchanged glances before Julius cleared his throat.
“You do realize at least one of us will find out the truth sooner rather than later?” he offered, his voice more serious than teasing. “Radi has George and Nora will certainly know soon.”

“I didn’t realize you were close with Liam’s sister,” Westley’s mocking tone was hard to miss. Shooting his friend an eyeroll, the Islander continued.

“Aren’t we bound to know what is happening in the realm so that we can protect it?”

“This is not my secret to tell,” Emeric sighed, before pushing his plate away. “I am bound by the healer’s oath and for all that, I am honour bound to protect the trust of those under my care. I’m going for a walk.”

“Em--” Julius started but Radisson cut him off.

“Let him be, Jules - he’s right. It’s unfair for us to press him for information that is not his to share,” running a hand through his hair, the eldest knight looked around. “Who said we were here on holiday, lads? Let’s get to business.”

---

Liam didn’t know how much time passed - it was hard to tell with the room in darkness and his mind galloping miles a minute. His neck was sore and his back protested every movement in the chair as he tried to focus on something, anything but the fact that he was feeling rather helpless on many, many levels. As the hours stretched by like molasses, Liam found himself wondering where his loyalty lay - was it with Alistair, Asterious or himself? And every time he was close to a decision, his own mind reeled him back into chaos, offering new ideas and protests.

And when his mind wasn’t constantly flickering between this rather unexpected existential crisis, he wondered where Marcus was. Even in Valadis, as they escaped, Liam instinctively knew that the older Vale would disappear to grieve - Liam didn’t approve the relationship nor the way it came about, knowing the rift it caused between his friends and yet, he could imagine what Marcus was going through. In some ways, he wondered if the rogue was enjoying his sudden loss of burdens - away from pressure with his dragon and no responsibilities, it could be intoxicating. Even if Liam needed Marcus’ help now, he was not yet worried about his friend’s absence. It would only worry him once a week went by at least.

Somehow, he ended up in a fitful sleep on the chair, startled awake by Nora’s entrance with food. Yawning and stretching with a painful groan, he nodded as his sister seated herself across from him, her expression surprisingly serious. For a second, Liam could have sworn there was something different about the young woman but with a blink, it was gone. Running a hand through his hair, he cleared his dry throat.

“It didn’t seem right to leave her and lady Eaves thought it best if I was the one to break the news to her,” Liam sighed, looking at Saskia’s fitful sleep. “Frankly, I’m not sure if it will be a relief for her to hear such a thing from me. I wish…I wish Alistair was here in my stead. It’s his right.”

“I’m sorry, I must be talking nonsense,” the man gave an exhausted smile. “Hope the guests aren’t too trying - I should be with them but…” He gestured to Saskia.

[Hannelorian]

"You can't say anything..." Beatrix asked of George quietly, her eyes jumping about, looking around as though someone could appear at any moment. "I probably... shouldn't have." Beatrix didn't feel she had the right to spread the news, but it seemed that the Empress' other lady-in-waiting should know the truth. "Here I am chiding some... boy about keeping his mouth shut and I can barely silence my own." Beatrix sighed, her arms folded before her.

"Speaking of the boys, you need to be easier on them." George was beginning to realize her place as one intended to be the wife of a Knight, a rider of dragons. "They have been through an enormous amount, they have suffered losses and now Marcus can't even bring himself to come back, not yet anyway." George had the greatest sympathy in her heart for all of them, each of them no matter what their deeds or petty squabbles. Though perhaps she would think somewhat differently of Julius if she had known the truth. "We all need to be kind and warm. Patient." George wrapped her arms around Beatrix and forced the woman into a hug. Beatrix reluctantly hugging George back.

"You're right..." Beatrix could almost feel herself welling up with emotion as she had no choice but to acknowledge that she had been wrong. They needed something she had not been able to give them. "I'll work on it, George." Beatrix sniffled and pulled herself away from the woman's embrace. "I should relieve Darius of the boys..." Beatrix had failed to consider something basic, she had failed to see and understand pain in others, she had failed to acknowledge that they too had suffered and were still suffering. They weren't quite the same, no matter how jovial they seemed to force themselves to be.

---

"But Alistair isn't able to." Nora was unclear on the Emperor's condition, no one would give her a straight answer and any attempt to gain entry to his room was met with outright refusal. Even from the servant's corridors. She had to be content with the fact that she would not be allowed to know, likely because of the very woman in the bed a few feet away from her. But even Nora wasn't without a heart. "And do you really want Lady Eaves to be the one to deliver you the worst news of your life? She's not exactly... warm and fuzzy." Nora commented rather intentionally, having been at the biting end of the woman's sense of morality and decorum.

"As for the guests. They aren't really your guests, Liam." Nora just watched him, he was exhausted and the hits never seemed to stop coming as he was seemingly saddled with ever more responsibility, things to worry about. "They're hers, and it's her house for the time being." The young woman nodded over to sleeping Empress who was almost inaudibly murmuring something. "And the men on the grounds are your family." Nora was attempted to remind Liam of who he was, and what this all really meant. "They're worried, grieving, even if they don't show it."

"But mother has it all in hand. Truth be told, I think she's absolutely delighted to have a full house. Even if it means a half dozen dragons are going to tear up the winter lawns." A small chuckled escaped her, but it was true, Lady Margot seemed to come to life having people to care for, worry over. "She's in her element. You know how she gets, buzzing and attentive. It keeps her from worrying about you too much. You know she does... constantly when you're at the front, or even just in Valadis. And... she likes the Empress." Nora looked at the woman and couldn't see what the fuss was about, she seemed rather ordinary, unremarkable.

"She said she was expecting to get screamed at for her rather blatant discard of the protocols or whatever.... but no, she says Saskia is kind, sweet, spirited. Which she must be to make you a Duke of all things." Nora again chuckled and shrugged her shoulders. "I think everyone will understand... that you aren't there. Liam, I don't think you realize... how important you are. But they do, and they understand." Nora doubted Liam really gave himself praise he deserved, or even accepted compliments from others. "You do need to take care of yourself, however. You look like shit." Nora never was once to mince words.

"Like a dog whose been left out in the rain and the mud and the cold... and hasn't sleep for... weeks or something." Nora rose from her chair and moved to stand behind her brother, leaning down to give him a good sniff. "You smell alright though. At least no foul odor shall kill our gracious ruler." Nora moved to the door and rested a hand on the knob, turning to open it. "Eat." She commanded before she left.

---

It was early in the evening when Saskia began to stretch and strain, her arms rising up above the blankets to pull them down. Her body ached, she felt uncomfortable and like she had lost a lot of time. As her eyes opened she looked above her, the canopy of the bed was still the same. She was in her room, the air was warm. What had she remembered? Intense pain... falling to the floor. But when Saskia looked around her, pushing herself up in the bed, everything was clean. It was just like she had left it all. Scanning across the room. Her eyes fell upon Liam in a chair who seemed lost in thought. Why was he here?

"Liam?" Saskia asked, her throat dry, her voice ever so slightly cracked. "Alistair?" Saskia couldn't fathom after the conversation they had earlier, why he would be in her room unless something had happened to Alistair.

[Breggo13]

Liam only shook his head in Nora’s direction, absently picking at the food before setting it aside and ordering Freed to bring him a bottle of diluted wine. Somehow, the butler tactically disregarded his request, bringing a drink strong and potent. As Liam’s eyebrow rose in a question, the man shot him an innocent look worthy of the best actors in Valadis before disappearing into the castle. His castle, Liam scoffed stubbornly though it was the nerves and exhaustion showing face - he knew the rules of nobility but it had never felt like royalty truly took over. Whenever Carina visited with Sebastian in tow, she was coming home to her father’s and brother’s estate, never as an empress but as an aunt. The late emperor Henry never bothered to come and with Alistair, they were all simply dragon knights, not royalty. The concept was as foreign as it should have been natural.

The second half of the bottle only fueled darker thoughts still, amplifying Liam’s concerns. There was fear for Marcus - the rogue was nowhere to be seen and while he would need time, Liam needed him here and functioning. There was Westley who seemed to have shed his innocence all at once and gained a darkness that rivaled Marcus’. It was so unnerving, Liam wondered how he could shake the blonde to come back to his old self. It would take time but time was a luxury he wasn't sure they had. There was Darius who lost his father and his brother, there was Emeric who he kept pushing to his limits. There was Julius who was a closed book and impossible to understand the impact the recent events had on him. Radisson was trying to take off some of the responsibility but he had a family to protect now as well and soon, his loyalty would be tested and divided. And Alistair…

He should have asked Beatrix to spell him so that he could go and sit beside his friend. Chuckling darkly, Liam lifted the bottle to his lips, scowling when he found it empty. It seemed that the great general of Asterious was reduced to playing bedside nurse to the crown, waiting and hoping that both the imperial majesties awoken from their ailments. And, Calembribor be willing, awoken in their right minds. Looking at Saskia’s form, the blonde tilted his head, pale gaze tracing her features. She was young and troubled, tossing under whatever plagued her mind. What a burden for someone so young. A burden but…could it be a blessing in disguise?

Liam didn’t have much time to think on it as Saskia tossed a bit more before sitting up, her eyes a bit foggy and unfocused as she frowned. Her gaze finally landed on him and the frown of her forehead deepened. As she called his name, followed by that of her husband, he shook his head, standing to walk to the water decanter and pour her a glass of clear liquid, bringing it gently to her lips.

“Alistair hasn’t changed - he’s still the same,” Liam watched her drink the glass before slowly removing it, fiddling with it in his hands as he lowered to sit on the edge of the bed. With a heavy sigh, he turned to her, his lips twitching slightly in a smile. “I’m glad you’re awake - I was afraid we could have lost you too. There was….some risk. How are you feeling?”

[Hannelorian]

Saskia didn't know what happened to her, and she didn't want to ask. Here she lay, just another broken thing to add to the pile of broken things. She had no desire to be a further burden to Liam, or anyone. That seemed terribly unfair. Perhaps she had done Liam a great disservice by placing so much upon him, so much responsibility and also the tremendous weight of her feelings toward him. He seemed so tired.

And then there was Alistair, no change wasn't the best news, but it wasn't bad news either. It means he certainly hadn't deteriorated. That was something. "I am feeling..." What was Saskia feeling. "Fine. No worse for wear." That was a lie, and Saskia smiled brightly, as brightly as she could despite the fact that her body felt awful. She refused to put more upon Liam, not now. "I appreciate you staying here with me, but... surely there must be a better use of your time." The Empress nodded her head and pulled herself up a little further. She felt weak, tired. "Lord knows you've been through enough. There are others who can care for me should I require it."

Saskia remained in her position, a part of her longed to get out of the bed but she knew she likely wouldn't make it far, not without a little more rest. Of course she never even imagined the fact that there could be worse news that awaited her. Something Liam was waiting to tell her. Something that likely should have been left to Beatrix, but Beatrix was weaker than she let on. Better someone else risk destroying the Empress than herself.

It was of course during moments like these that Saskia missed her home, not Valadis, but Argent. She could hide in her rooms for days and no one would bat an eye. If she felt ill she could simply heal and recover in private. But here, here she put everyone out of sorts at all times. Her presence was more than a simple inconvenience it meant people having to rearrange their entire lives to accommodate her.

[Breggo13]

“No worse for wear?” Liam repeated with slight disbelief, taking the glass back to the stand and trying to compose his thoughts and feelings. That was typical Saskia, putting up a front before them all even as she probably sensed something. Not consciously but people always knew when they were missing a part of themselves. He had seen it with soldiers time and time again. Running a hand through his hair and not yet daring to face her, the man rested his hands on the smooth cool surface of the stand, his hair flopping down into his eyes. “Do you remember anything at all?”

Shaking his head, he slowly turned to her, not daring to approach, his eyes emotionless. “Saskia, you lost….you lost the child. I’m sorry.”

As the words left his lips, he felt a small part of himself break, watching Saskia’s reaction. In a strange way, he held himself responsible for the loss. He should have been more careful with her, he should have done more. He should have been there for her, consequences be damned. And yet, he couldn’t get himself to move towards her, only his expression crumbling to echo her pain.

[Hannelorian]

“Saskia, you lost….you lost the child. I’m sorry.”

The words hit Saskia like a wave breaking upon the shore. They were violent words, unpleasant words, true words, wicked words, incomprehensible words, words that carried with them more meaning than anything else Saskia had heard in her entire life, no matter how short it had been thus far. The crushing weight of them fell down upon her, shattering her in an instant. A hand shot out from beneath the bed clothing to cover her mouth. Her heart rate kept climbing, she could feel the rush of her own blood, her ears getting hot, her eyes welling up.

The memory returned, something she must have blocked out, a feeling of intense pain that awoke her from her sleep, climbing out of bed to seek help and then nothingness. Nothing until she had awoken just a few minutes ago. The Empress felt herself breaking, this time truly breaking, she had failed. She remained silent and still for a few moments, her hand slowly lowering away from her mouth, it trembled terribly as she withdrew it. "I... see..." Two words, two small words that eeked out of her as though she were a mouse. A hard swallow followed and then several more moments of uncomfortable silence.

"I... didn't want to believe it..." Saskia pushed the bed clothing aside and moved to stand beside the bed, her hand clutching at the wooden frame to steady herself as her breathing grew heavier and ragged. Saskia had known something was wrong, she knew, she knew, but she refused to believe, she refused to acknowledge it until it was presented to her plainly and directly, in a way that she could no longer run from it. The look on her face was one of pain, absolute and unending anguish. "You..."

Saskia stopped short... she had no idea what she could say, or do... everything was raw, her nerves felt like they were set ablaze. "Should go..." Saskia struggled to take a step forward, falling to her knees, finally at least giving herself permission to let the flood gates open and let the deluge of tears fall. The tears were followed by an unnerving, guttural scream.

[Breggo13]

Liam rarely felt helpless - even in the most trying situations, even when it appeared that he and his men were facing certain death, the man always seemed to have steel resolve and determination. It was what made him a trusted leader, a favorite of the people. He never allowed helplessness to define him no matter how desperate the situation was. However, helpless was exactly how he felt as he watched the young woman he so greatly cared about deal with the loss of her child. His heart seemed to have been crushed alongside hers, stopping him from breathing. It was as though his ribs had been broken, puncturing his insides, a feeling he had experienced before.

What could he do in this situation to make it better? Was there anything he could do? Liam wanted to hold the girl close, to comfort her but they were no longer in the comfort of the first night where decorum could be forgotten. They were in the middle of re establishing trust, of raising those around them - people could walk in any minute. Besides, what could any man do in such a situation, one that was so exclusively feminine? And even as Saskia mourned the loss of the child, he could see that she mourned something much deeper - the loss of her strength, her position and her power. She was supposed to be perfect, the perfect empress who quickly and easily produced the heir to the Empire and then went on to have a spare or two. The loss of the child was not what the young woman had in mind.

Finally forcing his own body to move, he swallowed hard, his eyes growing with compassion. Stepping to the door, he quickly asked the first page he saw to find Beatrix and Georgiana before closing the door and slowly approaching the young woman. Gingerly, he wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her back as she wept into his shirt, drenching it with tears and gasping for air, for understanding.

“It’s alright,” Liam whispered, his voice catching slightly. “You will be alright. You will survive this as you do everything. You will rise from these ashes stronger. That is who you are - you are Saskia, the bravest young woman I had the privilege to meet, one that does not let anything hold her down. One that is full of power even when she doesn’t what she wields. You are precious, little one, and you will always be.”

The man continued in this way, speaking softly until there was a knock and the two ladies came in with worries on their faces. Meeting their eyes, Liam gently disentangled himself from the Empress, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead before allowing Beatrix and Georgiana to take over.

As the door closed behind him, Liam slid down the wall, covering his eyes with his hand. Tears, angry and bewildering, dampened his skin even as he tried to contain them. The cathedral attack, Quinn, Alistair, Saskia - it was all too much. He was just a man, one who was suddenly responsible for more than he bargained. One that seemed to finally understand Alistair’s constant struggle with the weight and pressure of the crown. However, unlike Alistair, he had no one to back him. He was the leader, the one even the Emperor looked up to and now, he had the girl he was falling in love with to protect. Why did Calembribor decide his fate to be so twisted when he fought all his life to do what was right and true?

“Liam?” Lady Margot’s voice brought out a shaky breath from him, the man swallowing before wiping his eyes. “Darling, are you alright? Why are you on the floor?”

“Nothing to worry about, mother,” Liam stood up slowly, like an old man before giving his mother a worn out smile. “It has simply been a stressful few days.”

“I’d say,” the woman pursed her lips, a clear sign she was not convinced of what her son was saying. “I wanted to ensure that the young empress was alright. She needs all the support we can give right now, the poor dear. I know the fear and pain and….and shame.”

“She’s strong mother,” Liam glanced at the door leading to Saskia’s room. “Much stronger than she realizes.”

“And so are you,” Margot smiled tenderly, reaching to cup the man’s rough chin. “Though you do need a shave. Go, I will fetch for you if you are needed. You have faced many trials, my boy, that I cannot help but worry about your soul and your heart.”

“My heart?” Liam scoffed. “You forget that mine has been turned to ice years ago.”
“I do not pretend to understand what goes on between you young people these days but,” Margot bit her lip as though deciding whether to continue. “Whatever this girl’s virtues, she has one that I will forever be grateful for. She has started to thaw that ice inside you - she has given me a chance to have my darling little boy back.”

[Hannelorian]

Saskia could have melted into Liam, she held onto him tightly, her tears constant and flowing like a river. Her hands almost clawing at him, trying to pull him in, his words were gentle, though she didn't hear most of them. Too focused was she on this outpouring of sorrow. She was grateful that he hadn't heeded her words, that he hadn't just left her there to suffer in solitude. This was a pain that Saskia had never felt before, a kind of horrific loss. A piece not only of her, but of Alistair too was now gone forever, never to exist as the child should have.

The gentle sensation of Liam's lips on her forehead as he created space, allowing George and Beatrix to swoop in and pick up where Liam had left off. But they could not fill the void that had been created, in truth, no one could, but still, her heart longed for Liam to be there again, to be the one just to hold her. "You poor thing..." Beatrix uttered softly as her arms immediately wrapped around the Empress, with the arms of George following shortly after. The three girls huddled on the floor, cradling the mess that was the Empress. "It's going to be alright." George whispered as she leaned in. Her heart breaking for her friend, unable to imagine what pain she must be feeling, especially given that she herself was pregnant, her child was hanging on.

Beatrix was not an inherently warm person, even when it came to her own son. For the first time, perhaps ever, she had no idea what to do, or how to help Saskia through this. She could only do her best, which she felt was likely not good enough. The inability to help pained her more than anything in this moment. "You don't have to cry, it'll be alright my dear one." Beatrix reached out to stroke the Empresses' cheek warmly, not noticing that Lady Margot had slipped into the room to see to the Empress as well. Though she was relieved to see that her friends had already been summoned. This was a woman's place after all.

"Let her cry." Margot gently corrected as she stepped further into the room, her presence looming above the huddled mess. "Just let it all out." Margot understood that there was no soothing this. This was a pain that Saskia had to work through, and it would take her time. But if she was as strong as her son had suggested she was, she would be just fine at the end of it. Margot moved across the room with all the grace of a woman in her position, and snatched something quickly off of the vanity table in the corner of the room before moving and kneeling down to sit behind the Empress. "A little room ladies." Margot asked as Beatrix and George separated themselves just a bit.

The unseen object that Margot produced was a gold handled hair brush, and slowly but surely the older woman began to brush Saskia's hair as her sobs reduced in volume just a bit. Her eyes red from the continued deluge of tears. "That's it little one, keep going." Margot looked toward Beatrix and nodded, Beatrix seemingly understanding the meaning sat up and disappeared for a few moments only to turn with a cool wash cloth to wipe Saskia's face. "Sometimes, a girl just needs an old crone like myself to be her mother." Margot felt deeply saddened for the young woman. Her own mother had died, her mother-in-law was family, yes, but similarly to Beatrix, was not known for her warmth and compassion.

"What can we do?" George asked, her eyes desperate to find something, anything that might ease Saskia's suffering. Margot seemed to be the only one who really knew what to do. It was a stark reminder that despite what each of these women had been through, they were still young adults, they hadn't the experience Margot carried with her. "All you can do is be here and give her time." Margot's voice was soft. "Your presence alone is a comfort."

Saskia seemed to be in a daze, a perpetual fog that she could not navigate. Whispering over and over again how sorry she was, how this had been her fault, all of it. Just an endless stream of apologizes muffled by her own tears which were slowing down as time went on. All of the women doing their best just to be present in the moment. "Hush now, there's no need for apologies." Margot repeated softly every so often, Saskia leaning back into her, almost snaking herself around the woman after a time. Beatrix and George took turns bringing her water, and the cool cloth to soothe those aching and red eyes.

While the three women comforted the Empress, life continued throughout the estate. Nora found herself, purposely flitting in and out of rooms that were occupied by the assorted Knights. She was kind to most, brought food and other supplies. Made sure Emeric finally got the sleep he needed. Checking in to see if Darius was coping with the absence of his brother and loss of his father. But mostly, Nora made sure that she made an appearance or two in a room with Julius, never saying anything of course, but simply making herself known. To be seen and for her presence to be felt and be unsettling, unnerving.