Gold Match: RedKayne vs Low Budget Man (Judges: G, Kris, Karma)

[Kris]

LBM

Writing Style: 8.4
Artistry and Complexity: 2.8
Personally I wouldn't have repeated the word "Puppet" a lot. I felt like it was a good way to show how much of product it was, but I think it also made the text somewhat tedious; I mean I totally saw it in terms of machine, moving and calculating as such, but I would personally tell you to avoid using it that much in the future because it felt like the post was lingering around it. Then again, maybe I am wrong and this is a good way to bring forth the idea of how he works and thinks. Anyway it was clear enough and I liked how the battle analysis has turned out to be. Right from the first post the vibes felt wonderful.
Fluidity and Clarity: 3
Conventions: 2.6
I feel like a lot of sentence could have been written better.


Effectiveness of Combat: 8
Character Consistency: 3
Ingenuity: 3
I loved the use of the body parts in the second post.
Choreography: 2
(It was suppose to be 3, but I'm removing a point in this section because I felt not once that the number of actions done were kinda pushing the line, despite the fact they were wonderful and cool)


Control of the Field: 8.5
Environmental Awareness: 3
Strategic Awareness: 3
Control of the Fight: 2.5
I felt like this been played equally for both of you.

Total: 24.9

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RedK

Writing Style: 8.6
Artistry and Complexity: 2.6
The first post brought again the inner world of Elena. I'd say it is her strongest part, and I keep saying so, but this time it felt like it was pushed back a little. She had few more chances to bring forth this pain, that I felt could be felt more drastically in the second post. I feel like we always talk about her PSTD but never really touching it, and it's a shame.
I wanted to get more into her inner world, aside of flashbacks (which was done greatly in the 3rd post, I just wanted to see more of that in the second).
Fluidity and Clarity: 3
Conventions: 3


Effectiveness of Combat: 8.6
Character Consistency: 2.8
I felt like I wanted to get more out of her inner world.
Ingenuity: 3
Choreography: 2.8


Control of the Field: 8.1
Environmental Awareness: 2.6
Strategic Awareness: 3
Control of the Fight: 2.5
I felt like this been played equally for both of you.

Total: 25.3


The winner: Red


Wonderful fight you both.


Waiting on G to put the final scores up.

[G]

Writing Style:

Artistry and Complexity (creativity/originality, risky techniques and intricate details that enrich the post, unusual structuring and changing styles) :

Right from the first post, both combatants did a wonderful job of painting us a vivid picture of their surroundings - so much so that I really wished I hadn't been eating the first time I read it. (Depictions of desicated corpses and a mouthful of cereal do not a good mix make.) They were truly in the belly of the beast - and neither let us forget it.

LBM: 3.00
RedKayne: 3.00

Fluidity and Clarity (Ease of following the action of the post, and smoothness in reading and understanding it) :

Again, I feel both of you did a wonderful job of this, describing in detail both your characters actions and the thought processes that led them to act in the way they did. It didn't feel rushed, or like you tried to put too much into each post. Also, while there was plenty of aside and inner monologue, neither of you put so much in that it distracted too much from the battle itself.

LBM: 3.00
RedKayne: 3.00

Conventions (grammar/spelling/punctuation)

Apart from a few minor errors, there were no significant mistakes in L-B's posts. Redkayne had a tendency to switch between past and present tense in his posts, which didn't effect understanding but did upset the flow of them somewhat in my opinion.

LBM: 3.00
RedKayne: 2.75


Effectiveness of Combat:

Character Consistency (How well do the actions of the character in the post reflect or fit who/what they are, their capabilities, and their limitations?)

L-B Man did a great job in expressing Puppet's personality through his posts - his indifference to the death and ruin around him (except to inspire disdain for the fragility of 'organics,') his certainty of victory, his assessment of injury in terms of what repairs needed to be made, rather than focus on the pain or wounds themselves. In opposition, Redkayne's portrayal of Elena's humanity, and the flaws and strengths they provided was wonderful, and the two in tandem made it an excellent battle to read. The contrast of the inhuman, and the all-too human warriors was a constant and interesting theme.

LBM: 3.00
RedKayne: 3.00

Ingenuity (How well does the character handle situations in original, interesting, yet effective ways? Does the player simply repeat the same actions and put little thought in their moves, or do they provide interesting responses to the situations they’re in?)

L-B Man certainly had some interesting tactics, though I, like Karma felt that he pushed the two-move limitation on a few of his posts, and have marked him down here accordingly. Both used interesting methods to approach their attacks, with L-B Man taking the lead for ingenuity.

LBM: 2.75
RedKayne: 2.5

Choreography (How well does the character/player interact with the other player’s character? Is it like a battle dance? Or two rubber chickens banging their heads together?)

This was an area in which you both excelled. I don't have many notes to offer here, other than wow! And well done. I did feel that the holy fire was avoided a bit too easily by LBM, and that he was a little unclear in how the burning corpses provided him a shield from the... burning corpses.

LBM: 2.75
RedKayne: 3.00

Control of the Field:

Environmental Awareness (How well do you roleplay awareness to the surrounding environmental conditions with your character, taking into account how they affect your character, positively and negatively?)

L-B Man used the environment well right from the beginning, utilizing the corpses as both means of distraction and mode of transport (though I'm not sure how well a corpse would work as oars in reality.) There wasn't a single post from him where the environment did not play a part.

Redkayne, as well, painted a realistic picture of Elena's reaction to her surroundings - her human senses so overwhelmed that she had to remove her helmet (therefore weakening her defence in those crucial first moments) to vomit. Redkayne's portrayal of her fear and disgust, and Puppet's recognition and utilizing of this were both executed excellently.

LBM: 3.00
RedKayne: 2.75

Strategic Awareness (How well do you play off your character’s abilities, strengths and weaknesses in each situation/round? Are you aware of the ways that the environment and your opponent’s actions can affect your character? Are you able to anticipate and turn these to your advantage or minimize the damage to your own character effectively?)

I felt both portrayed this well, particularly toward the end of the battle. However, Puppet's focus was more on his opponents weaknesses than his own, though this is partly justified by his arrogant nature. Elena was very aware of the surrroundings effect on her, and how her own weaknesses might be triggered. In the end, she turned this to her advantage.

LBM: 2.5
RedKayne: 3.00


Control of the Fight (Did you maintain control of the situation? Was your opponent on their heels scrambling to meet your attacks, or were you on yours? If you were not in control for most of the fight, was there an impressive “turn” in the direction of the combat; did you turn the tables on your opponent in a decisive manner through surprise or cleverness?

This was one section where I felt LB Man was quite clearly ahead - from the first post to the last, there were few moments where he wasn't leading the attack. While Redkayne had Elena respond quickly and ingeniously to these attacks, a lot of what we saw from her was reactive.

LBM: 3.00
RedKayne: 2.00

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Totals:

LBM: 25
Redkayne: 25

I.. sort of feel like I'm copping out, now that I've added these up. Honestly though, I can't in good conscience subtract any points from either of you in any section. This battle was incredibly well fought on either side, so much so that without intending to, you have both received from me an even score. You both wrote an amazing fight, and it was a pleasure to read, and painful to judge.

Teamed with the other judges results, we have our winner!

The Rumble Champion 2016 is REDKAYNE!!!

[Kris]

The waves roared and gushed under the burden of the struggling colossus. The storms raged outside just as was the fight within the belly of the leviathan.

And the pain was hard to bear. Like a womb bursting as the water breaks so did the whale tossed itself against the horrible foams of the dark sea.

It was a frightening sight. The whale couldn't handle the burning within... the terrible aching...

There was a loud cry, shriek of pain that was so majestic one may confuse it with a mermaid song from the depths.

And once the struggle ceased, stream cascades directly on top of the whale, throwing the stranger that dared to penetrate its body without being dissolve alive.

Once the being was out, she floated on the water and the sea calmed as the whale submerged, keeping one of the two fighters as a nutrition.

Hanging between water and water, the small girl was tossed across the sea, barely able to keep her head above. The sky then cleared and, like a scene from a famous paint, the sun crawled out of the gray clouds and shone brightly over, lingering in red and yellow.

And as the warm ray of light touched her body she disappeared, leaving a trail of a genesis world of nothingness behind.

She was alive and safe somewhere.

For now.

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Congratulation Red for winning.

Badges will be given shortly.