Saccharine Fire - A Poetry Thread

[Kiki]

The Second Suspension

The night I've alluded to has since faded, my sweetheart.
And I’ve felt the rush of air between.

I smashed the stars
To rim your glass with pop rocks
Sizzled effervescence on your tongue. It was all I could do.

Hope is now a lifestyle, a baseline of our truth.

Sliced to the heart of my volition.

The silence is loud but I’m starting to take comfort in its consistency.
My ears ring with the emptiness, but a ring is still a ringing.
Somewhere on the other edge of this alienating void
There’s you.

Sunflowers are used to the sun, you see. And with your brilliance receding away,
I find things to be harder to cultivate on my own.

Not so much a hurricane now, for my skies have calmed.

Three small words are the crown jewels
And they’re under lock and key.

[Kiki]

I stare in dismay
At yet another piece of news.
I won’t get into the argument of the thing.
I don’t need to.

Lives were lost. Why are we arguing?
People are dead. What’s there to discuss?
It seems so obvious to me.
I cringe with disgust.

My heart cries out quietly every time I hear this happen.
But my brow furrows, ready to push back against it.

Racial wallpaper, and when you walk by it,
Drive by it
Day in and day out.
Maybe we forget about it.
But I don’t. They don’t. We shouldn’t.

No justice is unjust and we treat people as others
Lesser
The thems.

There is a billboard in Boston
That counts the number of people dying from guns post Newtown.
I watched it tick up nine lives yesterday
And I burst into tears. It gets me so down.

But this is where the fight begins.
Where does it end? Will it ever?
Can people like me make a change in the face of such evil, senseless violence?
It sometimes seems like a fruitless endeavor.

But that's the point
And that's why I, we, push back.
You can't call this anything but racist, terrible, and tragic.
It's in America, but still a terrorist attack.

[Kiki]

Deliverance

The wind whistles in the little crack
left between window and frame
it's irritating, yes
but liberating just the same

We're going so fast now
down this highway of ours
been discussing the meaning of life
of the passing of hours

And our debates are punctuated
with girlish, trill belting of songs
and I feel free and ready for anything
another road trip, more time to be strong

You've told me for a while now
that I would be okay
but I never felt it solidly
until we left today

And you smile over at me when I say
"I think I can do this, for real"
and with eyes set on the horizon before us, you say,
"Then we're moving, it's a deal."

[Kiki]

Enter Fall’s Chill

How’d I never think it could lead to this
To you?;
The rolling waves, the cloudy vapor
Where ships fought in the blue?

Dancing across the moor.
There was a chill to that day
Your eyes a lake, so serene
The moon at play

Indigo kaleidoscope
Obelisk of dreams
Tantalizing rectifying
Splitting at the seams

Teal entropy
Feathered texture in my hair
Dreams of princely smiles
A cerulean stare

Lapis patterned
Light checkered across the face
The blinds are shuttered away from us
There’s darkness in this place

Serene entity
Like ghosts we sail across the dock
Wet feet are silent here
Doors are passed through, no reason to knock

Kerosene electricity
Set this whole damn thing aflame
And when we’re old and dead and tired
There’ll be no one else to blame.

[Kiki]

Terror Management Theory (TMT)

As I write you
(For absolutely everything now is meant for you)
My inked hands, the smudged words
Punctured by tears, drip-drops across the page I bend over
I cry silently as I know
The eyes I have since yearned to see
Will be my last memory.

For if I die here
Your face will float across my scared darted gaze
As the ocean takes me
And delivers me to the place where I cannot leave you.

I have imagined my grave before
I have visited them in jest
A lone tunnel sepulcher, a watery tomb
I have foreseen my end countless times.

Never has such a gaze
One as deep as the oceans that will take my last breath,
Gripped my heart in a hold
That feels like strangulation, suffocation, while I still move.

I told you.
I'm drowning.

[Kiki]

Quiescence

The darkness is slumbering.

Most people say
As they lay
Heartbroken on their bed
"I wish I had never known them,
I wish they hadn't hurt me"
And beg for the feeling
To be over, out of their head

But in the rigorous journey
Maybe something of a story
Of loving you -
Truly loving you -
Giving in to all of myself, terrified
Of empty-handedness, of vulnerability
Being truly lost

I have hoped still that you
[A curious turn to be true]
Will take over me.
Invade me.
Pierce my heart directly, bull's eye.
And leave the biggest hole in me, a cavity
Break me

So that I will remember you
As you want to be remembered.

Like a vacant, dilapilated building
Rusted pipes, fallen ceiling
Old and patted with dust
I want your presence to echo off my emptiness should you leave.
[I want to be forgotten, so in me you won't be.]
I need to feel the hollowness of the soul
That is, and was, before, and after, you.

I want there to be a branding.
A tattoo.
A legacy in my heart.

I want to find myself in being obliterated by you.

The slumber of darkness.

[Kiki]

Interjection

I'm saying goodbye to you
silently
and I'm so sorry.
I'm standing here with you, your heartbeat
in my ears.
I've been saying goodbye for months.

It's a slow torturous process
and I can feel every tear
as our lives diverge away from
one
another.
Leaving wounded hearts open
to
the

air.

And while I am remorseful
Feeling saddened when you cry
It's hard to hide my bitterness
The resentment hidden in
goodbye.

[Kiki]

Take Five

Today I sat on a bench
Overlooking the water
And I allowed myself
just
f i v e
minutes.
Just five.
For my heart to crack open
To splinter, collapse on itself

Just five -
For I knew that any longer,
And I wouldn't come back from it.

The heartbreak, it was real, but controlled
Like the timed demolition of an old skyscraper,
Bending and breaking
Smashing to the ground
In an accordion-like bend

I let myself be angry
I let myself cry frustrated tears
Longed for you, yearned and wished
Staring at my hands, wanting yours
Feeling my heart emptying out.

And the f i v e minutes passed easily.
Softened by the sound of the sloshing waves.
Quickly.

I sniffled, and brushed my bruised self off
And continued, got up, down the path
Waiting for my depleted self
To be once again fully invigorated by you.

[Kiki]

Valiant Disambiguation

Cosmic collision
Maybe it's kismet or fate or karma
I know it's love.

Illuminated from the Inside Out -
I hear your Name on the wind, Of The Wind -
A gentle echo of my desire.

My sunshine.

Eclectic mixture of beauty and broken
Alchemical blend of darkness and light

An infectual nothing.
I am glowing pink
From the warmth of your desire.

We accept that which we think we deserve;
And I struggle so hard with you.
For you came out of nowhere,
And now you are everything.

I'd do unspeakable things for you.

In this moment
I'd fork over the moon
Just to have the sun that's trapped within your eyes.

I'd give the universe,
to savor the flavor
of your mouth.

I love you.

[Kiki]

Attraversiamo

Silver fish scripture
Ghetto ass spitting
The sound of water rushing
Cannot be heard over
the sound of the rushing
My heart, my heart.

I'm waiting.

All of the nights
Filled up with lights
The sun's sinking
And I'm waiting.

The book I'm holding, dear
The secrets harbored, fear
The glass in low light
The moans in the twilight.

My retinas are burning
Searing with memories.

And I'm still waiting.

It's not a sad fact,
Just an admission on my part,
So I watch the water ripple and rave
Watch love sweep up in a wave.

The lights flicker on
My liquored soul is shushed
The demons are quiet for now in the moment.
Still I wait.

And then there you are.
And it's like summer.
Summer, summer, summer.
Fractals of light caught in my eyes.
I've been slumbering.
Caught in a dreamless sleep before you arrived.

The water shifts, shifts behind us
I can hardly hear it now.
It's not silent in this urban wasteland,
But all I hear is rain.
Rain, rain, rain.
Raining in the summer.

We embrace here, in the semi dusk
My hair all a mess
Your taste already in my mouth in anticipation.

I'm waiting.