[M] Battle of Ruination Summit

[Tolvo]

They came without warning. The woods of Ruination Summit had always been calm, and rather recently twisted. Great arcane powers focused here and through the forest the magic could be felt. Soldiers noticed their hairs standing on end when they dragged their feet too much. All of their hairs. Yes even those ones. A combined army of the Southern Dominion and Southern Kingdoms, known as the Southern Alliance, set up siege camps throughout the edge of the woods in preparation for an assault. Then they came.

Riding atop thick and beefy horses, wielding chains gripped in thick tough hands popping with veins. The Aqueduct Snakes had arrived to govern these lands. This horse gang was led by none other than Destrin, known as the Rooster Baron among his warriors. it was an in joke they refused to explain to him and to this day no one is quite sure how it started. Anyway, he led the forces wearing his gleaming white armor of the Funzian City-States which he pilfered from the one known mostly as The Bastard.

With him was a cavalry of black leather wearing ruffians with styled hair or shaved heads. They dressed to impress with brigandines coated in rivets and studs. Each had an individualized outfit but they kept the basics similar, always black and always cool looking. When they came some soldiers already got their gold out but were glad to see they weren't actually being robbed.

Destrin was in charge of this excursion, the nobles, princes, and lords left the glory to him. Leading the Dominion forces was none other than Governor Firdaus of Koshamadid. He was as mighty as he was strong, and big too. Don't forget he's huge. Inside of a tend he stood with other leaders of the operation, Grecious, the Knight Captain, Jogarl with his arm in a makeshift cast. They stood around a map with a big arrow written on it pointing West that said "Fuck these guys." This was as far as their battle plan had gotten to this point.

Outside the Aqueduct Snakes started rounds of dice poker and got to talking up their exploits despite this being their first true battle as a unit. Demons had gathered in their own area where they were biting on trees of the woods trying to gain the energy. Nearby was a contingent of cataphracts that Firdaus had brought with him. They were fine looking cavalry indeed.

[Eddren]

Destrin grinned from atop his black steed, looking at the army before him. It would've been enough, if Destrin had the patience to wait all damned year for the demons to starve. If they could starve. For all Destrin knew, demons ate magic. So he needed something a little more...Unhinged to take down the Demons. Not quite as crazy as his last stunt, but something that would push the envelope enough to get them in. Something like...Combining modern technology with demonic strength. The General nodded to himself. The Traitor Legion would play a key role in the battle to come.

And of course, Destrin's Horse Gang would govern the shit out of this battle. He surveyed them. It occurred to him that he could combine horses with one of his favorite weapons, the rifle, later...But that'd be an 'after we've kicked these assholes out of my new keep' sort of thing. He grinned as he entered the tent, "Ah believe it's about time we got this keep under control." He looked over to the Governor, "Ah see tha Mighty King an' Sovereign didn't see fit ta join us. Not even tha Prince. Eh. Well. More fer us, ah guess."

He looked over to Grecious, "Oi, Grecious, what's tha status o' tha Demon Traitors in tha keep?" Destrin didn't mention that the Western Empire was already with the Demon Forces. They'd discussed it already. That was water under the bridge...Grecious had decided to work with a commander who was willing to acknowledge he wasn't the only fuckin' Genius in the room. "An' about 'ow long d'ya think they could fight, afore they would start runnin' away again?"

Then Destrin looked over at Jogarl, "An' Jogarl. Yer always a fan o' fightin' tha biggest, ugliest asshole on tha block. Which one o' those Demons is tha toughest o' tha bunch?" Finally, he looked over to the Knight Captain, "An' about 'ow long d'ya think it'd take ya ta close distance, if ya were keepin' well outta tha range o' those missiles?"

[Tolvo]

The Governor laughed heartily at Destrin's remarks. "Yes they are dealing with the matters rulers must, but I managed to be here. They should get their fish in a row if they wish to wage war. Commanders such as yourself are useful, but what is an army without their leader present? Demoralized is what." He pointed a thick finger at Destrin. "I guarantee my warriors are prepared to fight to the death, for they know I'll be watching and they know I'll be fighting shoulder to shoulder with them."

Grecious looked over some papers and put down a list of names that looked like they were out of a children's book. Mork, Gork, Pork, Dork, Fork, Snork, Bork, Cork, and that was just all of the Orks. "There aren't as many traitors this time around. Apparently the Dark Host who rules over the keep is highly paranoid. And demons are not the best at subtlety as we already know. He's killed some of our spies and forced many to fight for him anyway. What we do have though are a few turned mages willing to fight for us for 'ultimate power.' They'll probably die during the battle so we shouldn't have to worry about bringing them ultimate power."

Jogarl spoke rather calmly while spilling his tankard on his feet. "The toughest assholes, they're tough I tell ya. That Kane, Dark Host they call him. He's the head of warlocks, sorcerers, and magical type fuckers in Destruin. They say he could rival the Demon Emperor Baigujing, whoever the fuck that is. But I made a list of who to target." He slid a sheet of paper across the table. Grecious seemed thankful. "Why Jogarl this is the clearest you've ever been I'm glad you-" His voice trailed off as he looked at the paper which was full of drawings of buttholes rated from "Dang Nasty" to "Shame To Their Mothers."

The Knight Captain drew a line in front of the keep with his fingers. "If anything enters this killing field we can handle it. The Destruin don't have much at a range that can punch though armor leaving our cavalry relatively safe from them. The main worry comes from the Dark Host himself. Our scouts witnessed him throwing giant fireballs from his keep onto the forest, he was burning away the tree lines giving us less cover. I've never gone up against a powerful mage before, I don't know quite how to counter that."

[Eddren]

Destrin nodded. So their traitors weren't exactly plentiful this time around. Ah, well. Can't expect too much. Still, they were those mage-types...Destrin grinned. That might be a plan all on its' own. "Alright. 'Ave those mages at tha ready. Ah want 'em ta cause a ruckus once tha battering rams 'ave reached tha main gate. Draw attention to tha walls East o' tha Gates."

Destrin went ahead and regarded the rest of the map for a long while. "Ah want our best marksmen--Those Mercenary Arbalests, if ya 'ave any available--Coverin' tha front section. Keepin' basically anyone there from returnin' fire on our batterin' ram. Ah want tha regular Cavalry split inta three groups, one posted at each o' tha cardinal directions. That's ta keep 'em from knowin' exactly what we're up to. Assigned with tha Cavalry, ah want two platoons o' Bill Militia." He then pointed to the northern wall, the one opposite the gate, "Ah want all tha Demons gathered up 'ere, hidden in tha tents. Ah want 'em ta be carrying cannons. Tha cannon crew'll be hidden with two squads o' Sword Militia, one fer each Cannon. Tha Aqueduct Snakes'll be up North as well. Wit' any luck, tha enemy'll 'tink we put 'em all up there 'cause they're less disciplined than an ordinary knight. In addition, each o' tha Cardinal Directions, save tha Southern, will 'ave a company o' Militia Arbalests, save fer tha North, where we'll 'ave another company hidden."

He then drew a line from the south up north. "Tha bulk o' our forces'll strike from tha front. Some o' 'em'll try an' set up siege ladders, but ah want a large, spread out formation--Squads should be at least five yards from each-other. Keeps tha Dark Whatever from bein' able ta burn all o' our men in one go. An' they should go in waves. While they're approachin', we should pick off any Demons try'na stop their advance."

He now brought his finger to the northern face, "An' once tha enemy 'as dedicated their forces ta tha front, ah'll 'ave tha Traitor Demons from tha last battle lug those cannons up to tha rear walls. Swordsmen squads'll surround 'em, o' course, an' cannon crews'll stick ta the back. Once they're well in range, we'll bombard a single point 'till we can get a squad at a time in. Then ah'll advance wit' tha Aqueduct Snakes an' get ta tha inside. With fast riding an' range, ah hope ta keep tha Dark Asshole from firin' on us wit' those big fireballs. Tha rest o' tha soldiers'll follow up. Then tha sides'll close in an' start try'na get siege ladders up. Cavalry'll relocate to tha Northern Face if tha Gates 'aven't given in by now and enter." He looked around, "Any questions?"

[Tolvo]

The knight captain nodded. "One simple question, what will you be doing? Some other daring maneuver or are you actually going to just stand back and command?" Jogarl belched very loudly then opened his mouth and paused. "I forgot what I was gonna say!" Grecious tapped his hands on the table and didn't seem to have any questions. The Governor looked over the map. "These are some good tactics, we'll support where we can. Our archers are more accurate, no offense, so we can help protect the battering rams. Our elite cavalry should maybe lead the charge through the gates too. Otherwise we'll be mostly in reserve and work on reinforcing when your soldiers get injured or tired to replace them."

[Eddren]

Destrin nodded. Fair question--He had a reputation for charging in to do the absurd, after all. "A lil' o' column A, a lil' o' column B. Ah'm gunna oversee tha siege from afar. Ah could probably take out tha Dark Shitstain right quick, if ah used tha Destruin Mages as a cover, but then they'd be dead when we tried ta charge, an ah imagine they'd take out fewer men that way. So, ah'll wait 'till we've breached tha normal way, an' then ah'll make a beeline for tha Dark Dicklord. Try an' take 'im out afore 'e can respond." He shrugged, "Hopefully, anyhow."

He did nod to the Governor, "None taken. Ah love rifles more'n most commanders, but bows 'ave their tactical uses, an' we've 'ad hundreds o' years ta make 'em most accurate. This is one o' tha situations where some archers do best in." He nodded to the rest of it, "An' yer Cavalry's not only welcome ta' lead, but ah hadn't thought o' it--If they lead tha charge'n tha Destruin shouldn't expect a shot up tha ass so much. They'll 'ave ta dedicate more ta tha front."

[Tolvo]

Everyone got to work preparing. They set up their battle lines in the woods outside of the sight of the keep while from the top of it fire burned away at the edges of the forest. The heat was starting to get to some as they wiped sweat from their brows. Destrin's forces positioned themselves as planned alongside the Dominion warriors that had come to aid them. Then the battle began.

Along the Southern wall archers began to pepper the walls with arrow fire while battering rams and ladders moved forwards. Scant archers returned fire but by the combination of arbalests and desert archers there was simply too many volleys to come back from. A group of gargoyles came from within the keep and started flying towards the arbalests and archers to handle them. Griffins flew through the skies circling the keep and diving at whatever neared. Along the North walls trolls had gathered and were throwing stones down at the demons pushing the payload of cannons with sword militia guarding them.

The cavalry spread out and didn't stay in one spot for long as smaller fireballs flew wherever they went trying to destroy them. Atop the keep was a tiny figure barely visible at a distance. This was the Dark Host. A great green image of fire showed over the battlefield of him. He was very goblinoid and impish. His nose was short, he had tiny sharp teeth, he had tiny ears and little eyes. His voice boomed over the battlefield while the image spat fire at the archers. "Doom! Doom comes to all who dare face the Dark Host, Kane! Kane the Second Great Destroyer!"

[Eddren]

Destrin watched as the Gargoyles flew, but simply shrugged. A lot of the militia they brought would have spears--They were easily crafted, after all--And it's not like the Arbalests couldn't point up and shoot at the Gargoyles. Still, the trolls were a problem. He needed to get ride of them. He gestured to his musket militiamen, "Oi! See those trolls over there? Nasty fellas, eh? Unload on 'em. Volley after volley. Keep firin' 'till they don't throw any more rocks. Keep suppressin' shit like that, an' when we breach, make yer way ta tha openin'.

He'd move up to the head of his Horse Gang, then, and called out in response to Kane, "Oi! Look at this, tha fuckin' Rat-Destroyer! 'E's 'ere ta take our grain an' steal our cheese! Who tha fuck is this joke o' a General? 'E probably couldn't fight 'is way outta tha fuck-dungeon 'e was born in! Who tha fuck let 'im on tha battlefield! Does Destruin know what a fuckin' General is? An' ah'd like ya ta all notice, 'e's sittin' there, wastin' 'is magic, try'na fuckin' scare us with his fuckin' too-small-for-'is-body face, when 'e can't even fuckin' throw 'is fireballs straight enough ta hit tha flies on our horses' asses!"

[Tolvo]

The gargoyles swooped down crashing into the archers and arbalists. When they landed they crushed the humans underfoot and lanced them while arrows and quarrels bounced off of their bodies. A portion of the cavalry rushed to defend their fellow soldiers but upon seeing the coming charge the gargoyles took off back into the skies. They were a nuisance on the battlefield that would need to be caught to get rid of them.

Arquebusiers gathered at Destrin's command and positioned themselves within firing distance of the walls. They lined up and opened fire on the trolls who ducked for cover. Some of them fell from the wall and those struck were wounded or killed. They retreated from that position back along the outer portions of the towers at each corner. Tainted archers rushed into the previous position of the trolls and ran along the walls while firing wide volleys back on the Southern Kingdom gunners.

Cannons opened fire on the walls now while demons and others stood guard over them. The engineers got to work loading and preparing the cannons for another barrage. This keep's walls were not very thick and were already beginning to crack. From the top of the keep came a great wyrm being ridden by the Dark Host. He clung to its back and threw great balls of fire down at the cannons, some of which exploded on contact killing their crew. Despite this the Aqueduct Snakes raised their weapons and cheered. "Aqueduct Snakes Govern yeah!"

[Eddren]

"Keep fuckin' poundin' that wall! Tha first crew ta crack open that wall gets drinks on me--An' that extends ta tha soldiers guardin' 'em! AND tha Demons, too! All o' ya! If yer tha platoon that takes that wall down, Good Ol' Destrin'll be buyin' ya as many drinks as ya want fer a week!" He grinned as he saw their defenses topple. Ultimately, he couldn't help the frontal assault much--Destrin was simply too far away, and the Governor was on that side. He'd have to find some way to manage. Destrin had left the majority of their elite conventional units on the front for a reason--He'd very much expected it'd be an uphill battle.

But that wasn't the big problem before him now. That'd be the big-ass Wyrm that was riding toward them. Would it still be a horse gang, if we weren't all ridin' horses...? Nah. That's stupid. Like ah'd ride a fuckin' wyrm inta battle. Still, he had to get rid of it. Destrin pointed to the Wyrm, "Oi! Rifles on tha flyin' fuck wit tha flashy, stupid, inefficient magic! Fuckin' show 'im why tha Southern Kingdoms uses real weapons, not fuckin' pretend shite from some fairy-tail!" Even as he said this, he used Spectral Duplication to create replacement cannons, then motioned to them. "Somebody get ta manning those cannons an' keep firin' on tha walls!"