A Need for Luxuries - Rant

[Mr.Cynic]

I don't know how many of you guys know my life and I am not here to fully diclose and unload. But I just need to vent somewhere because I am just tired of this opinion that poor people don't deserve luxuries.

I have been homeless for about 2 years. I am episodically homeless, so I move from place to place to place to place. Having temporary living arrangements that work for the time being, but then of course something usually comes up and I have to go.

I have spent the 2 years, trying to gain qualification for SSI. And I finally gained qualification for vocational rehabilitation, to perhaps find a job. Except that it denies or completely ignores the fact my struggle with traditional work in the first place. And I finally have some kind of Mentorship Living Assistance program.

And I am on long term medicaid, which might be gutted if the current political environment stays as toxic as it is. But I digress.

Despite being able to pay for food on food stamps. Despite being able to go to therapy and get the things I need. It's all I get. Just the bare bone basic things I need. Food, shelter.

I haven't had the luxury of a new game in 3 years.

I haven't had the luxury of seeing a movie in 2 years.

I haven't had the luxury of just getting myself something I want for 2 years as well.

And I am slowly, starting to feel. A little unhappy. That I don't even get the luxury to splurge on something I want. I know the age old saying, you can shit in one hand and want in the other. Which will get filled faster.

But when you live 2 years castrated from even the option to splurge a little, to "pamper" oneself. You start to feel like your missing something in your life.

And there's this notion that I don't deserve these things. Because I am poor. Or that I don't earn my money. But I have a disability. I am not sure what people......want me to do. Continued to live life at the basic level of life.

I want to have fun too. I want ways to relax too. I want ways to enjoy life as well. I go hiking and see the world and take photographs. But sometimes, I want to also turn around and get myself a game or a new movie or a new CD from time to time. I wish sometimes people recognize how lonely and bare bones this kind of life can be sometimes.

Sorry had to unload

[Crazywolf]

I understand what you mean. Without money to go out and do stuff it must be hard to find means of entertainment that are not monotonous.

I also think the catch with being poor in a rich country is that people have materialism in front of them the whole time - for instance most of television these days is about showing people things or lifestyles they can't afford.

[Mr.Cynic]

I understand what you mean. Without money to go out and do stuff it must be hard to find means of entertainment that are not monotonous.

I also think the catch with being poor in a rich country is that people have materialism in front of them the whole time - for instance most of television these days is about showing people things or lifestyles they can't afford.

I just want the ability to have the ability to be materialistic from time to time. Instead of being cursed for doing so. Like I am a not allowed the luxury of a once in a while thing because I am poor.