Alright nerds, this is your (completely benevolent) advice giver, Lucifer. You can call me Luci if you want. I hear you're in need of some advice?
I have ears everywhere, do not doubt my information gathering skills or the magnificent power of any of my five senses. And while we're at it, I also see everything so don't even think you're being sneaky behind my back. I'm omniscient.
Anyways, let's move on to what you actually wanted help with. I know you guys have a lot of problems because you're apparently not supernatural beings like myself (and I hear there's a ghost flitting aimlessly about as well) who can just magically fix these things or instinctually know what to do about them. I guess if you did I'd be out of a job. Or, at least this one. Since I don't have all the time in the world though, we'll take this at a case by case scenario. The topic for this issue is
I'm new to this site, and nervous! Eep! How do I make some friends?
Well, friend (or should I say acquaintance?), I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is you're never going to have any friends. Ever. The people on this site are horrible and they all suck. You don't want to be their friend anyways. The good news is, that was a complete lie!
I can't imagine you're completely
new or you wouldn't have found the Tribune (tucked away as it is in the creative arts section really, we should move it, don't you think?) so I'm assuming you've already made an introduction thread? If you haven't you probably should since it's a great way to let people know how awesome you are (or not awesome, I don't know your life though let's be real here, you're probably pretty cool.) Plus, the people that post in your intro threads? They're usually pretty great people and they'll be your friend if you ask nicely. Yes, even the mods!
That's a good place to start, but if welcome threads aren't really your thing, there are definitely other ways. One of the more obvious ones is to join a RP that looks interesting! (How to join a RP is for another week though, so we wont go through that this time.) You'll likely become close with the people in it regardless, talking in the OOC, but they'd make great friends too. Plus, if you ever run out of conversational topics you can just talk about your RP so there's that. (Really, who wants to talk about the weather? It's the internet, nobody cares about the weather unless it's going to mess with the internet connection.)
If you're not too sure about that, and you'd like to wait awhile before joining a RP, then there's also Downtown! It's a great section for basically nonsense to go. You're likely to find outgoing people who will hang out with you just for funsies. You'll also find some people who are just bat-shit crazy, if that's your thing. Honestly, this site has such a varied amount of people you're likely to find someone
you like downtown.
There are other ways to make friends on this site, sure, but those are the easiest ways. I suppose you could just randomly VM people with cool usernames but that might also backfire. I PM'ed this guy named God once and he never responded so now I've got daddy issues. As if I didn't already have them before you know, Lucifer and all.
So, anyways, I hoped that helped. If I didn't then it totally wasn't my fault because I tried and that's what matters. Oh, and I guess I'll be your friend too. Just ask. See ya later, nerds.
Aries: March 21-April 19
Monthly Horoscopes: March
This month is going to be one to remember. With spring in the air, keep your eyes around the corner, focused on what is coming in the future. There will be decisions this month that will change the course of your life. Remember that with each up there is always a down.
Taurus: April 20-May 20
Someone new is going to come into your life this month, though it may not be obvious. Pay attention for that special someone that is "right under your nose". There is more to this person than what the eye can see.
Gemini: May 21-June 20
Changing weather will also bring hardships as the planets do not line in your favor. Keep to the course that you dream of, though these coming weeks will stress your goals. Keep pushing forward and you will outlast the storm to come.
Cancer: June 21-July 22
Patience will be a lesson in your future. The days will seem to slow down this month as seemingly random and meaningless events pass by as you look forward to something bigger. Everything means something and time will pass regardless; patience will open a new look on life for you.
Leo: July 23-Aug 22
There is will an opportunity this month that you will not want to miss. It may seem small at the moment, but take a chance and give this possibility a chance. The outcomes could surprise you.
Virgo: Aug 23-Sept 22
Taking time this month to reconnect to nature is exactly what you need. As the days pass, make sure to take a few minutes to appreciate the trees and stop and feel the wind. Animals will be your most comforting companions during this coming time.
Libra: Sept 23- Oct 22
A few people will stand out to you in special ways this coming month. Consider what this may mean, and use this time to cherish and tell those who care about you the most how you feel for them. They will be more open to understanding, and will need your support as well.
Scorpio:Oct 23-Nov 21
You will feel a few changes to your behavior and attitude this month. It is a opportunity for you to shape yourself into the person you've been dreaming about being. Go with the changes; make an effort to be more spontaneous and creative in your daily life.
Sagittarius:Nov 22-Dec 21
Love is in the air. Wear a smile wherever you may go this month, but do not go out of your way to impress. The person you are will shine around the corner to a special someone.
Capricorn is Dec 22-Jan 19
Be careful of your temper this coming month. The situations that normally get your steam boiling will intensify this month, though it will not be your fault. Practice staying calm and focused these next few weeks. Think before you speak.
Aquarius: Jan 20-Feb 18
You will be busier this month than you have been in a very long time. The key to getting through this stressful time is to prepare yourself. It is a good time to organize your life and priorities, which will find a way of surfacing in the moment of need.
Pisces: Feb 19-March 20
As the cold air fades, your mind will be packed of new ideas and dreams. This will motivate you through your daily activities, but do not lose sight of the coming future! Share your thoughts with someone close to you to let some of these joys and dreams out.
It's that time of year again, Folks! And what better way to celebrate our roughest, toughest event of the year than with a bloodthirsty bout of ....
Yep, that's right - and there's rep in it for those three members with the stones to make their way through this gut-wrenching game! Just PM your answers to Guinevere
Eli's Cooking Corner!
As February fades, so does the Valentines romance that was a candlelit home cooked meal for that special someone, or a gourmet meal to celebrate Single's Day. The weather is kicking back into that beautiful Spring we know and love, but in the rush of work and school (did someone say mid-terms?) and spring break for some, the romance of cooking can be lost. So for this month and my first ever Eli's cooking corner, I'm going to do a three course meal perfect for not only getting back into that "bikini shape" (you're already beautiful!) or that "beach bod" look (Gentleman of RPA, you are handsome too!), but for lighting the fire for your relationship, cooking for a new spark, or just a special relaxing day for yourself. Simple enough for even the newest Kitchen-newbie to make! Add candles and a favorite drink, and you are all set.
For the First Course, Creamy Cucumber Dill Toasties.
Now, this is one of my personal favorites. Easy to make and store, and perfect for nibbling on over a glass of wine or a favorite TV show while you cook. Simple, light, and just enough flavor to make this simple recipe stand out as your special meal starts.
What You Will Need:
1 package of softened cream cheese. (Softened means left in room temperature for a while, or microwaved for about 30 seconds max. Should be easy to stir.)
1 package of Italian-Style Dressing/Seasoning Mix
1/2 Cup Mayonnaise
1 French Baguette (this is a type of break; ask your local grocery baker.) cut into 1 to 1 1/2 inch circles. (I prefer to remove crust as well.)
1 cucumber, thinly sliced. (A cheese cutter, the wire type, works well here.)
2 teaspoons dry dill weed.
How do I make this delicious delicacy, Eli?
In a medium bowl, mix together cream cheese, dressing mix and mayonnaise, until thoroughly mixed.
Spread a thin layer of the cream cheese mixture on a slice of bread, and top with a slice of cucumber. Sprinkle with dill. Repeat with remaining ingredients.
What you should end up with:
Now for the Dinner, Fettuccine Alfredo!
I'm all for pasta when it comes to easy meals. Pasta dishes are so easy to dress up and really make fancy, while being relatively simple. Plus, there isn't much clean up, and no need to spend extra time making sides. Now that those little tastes of cucumber wonders has got you wanting the next part of your awesome dinner, onto my next dish. White sauces, in my opinion, can be a light and wonderful meal. Paired with some nice amounts of green with just the perfect amount of cheese? Even better.
What Do I Need?
1 tbsp. olive oil
2 tsp. salt for cooking the pasta, plus 1/4 tsp. for the sauce
2 tbsp. butter
1 or 2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 cup chicken broth
1 lb. asparagus, upper half of spears only, cut into 1-inch pieces
1 small zucchini or summer squash, cubed (or sliced like to previous cucumber to keep with a theme.)
1/2 cup finely diced carrot
1/2 cup diced red or yellow bell pepper
3/4 cup heavy cream
3/4 lb. fettucine
1 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
2 tbsp. chopped fresh parsley
Directions?! That's a big list!
In a large pot, bring 4 to 5 quarts of water (this is the amount of cups suggested on pasta box. Just use the amount you would to make pasta as normal.) to a boil and add 1 tablespoon of olive oil and 2 teaspoons of salt to the water.
Meanwhile, in an large pan with large edges, medium size, melt the butter over low heat. Stir in the garlic and warm gently for 1 minute. Add the broth, vegetables, and 1/4 teaspoon of salt. Bring the mixture to a simmer. (This means lightly sizzling, about medium for my stove.)
Cover the pan and continue to simmer the vegetables undisturbed for 3 minutes. Then stir in the cream. Remove the pan from the heat and leave it covered. Add more salt to taste, if needed.
Once the water has reached a boil, gradually add the fettucine to it. Cook the pasta according to the package directions, then drain.
Quickly bring the vegetables back to a simmer and add the drained pasta. Continue to simmer the mixture over medium-low heat for 3 to 4 minutes while carefully tossing the noodles up from the bottom of the pan with tongs or two forks. (aka: don't stop stirring!)
Remove the pan from the heat and sprinkle in half of the Parmesan cheese. Toss once more. Serve at once, using the parsley and remaining cheese for garnish. Makes 4 to 5 servings.
hint: placing pan in 350F oven after adding cheese for about 3-5 minutes adds a nice golden look and baked warmth. Watch for burning.
Your lovely result:
Could it get better?! Time for dessert: Banana's in Caramel Sauce over Ice Cream!
If you aren't drooling now, don't worry. I'm drooling enough for the both of us. This is the icing on the cake; but, without the cake. A simple, beautiful, banana and vanilla ice cream, done up enough to satisfy even the most picky dessert eater (is that a thing?). Take your time with this one. You're going to want to savor this piece of art!
Forget waiting! Tell me what I Need now, Eli!
1/2 cup butter
vanilla or coconut ice cream
1 cup superfine sugar (also called confectioners sugar)
1 and 1/4 cups heavy whipping cream
4 bananas, peeled and halved length wise.
"Can't you cook it for me now so I can just eat?" No. Cook it yourself!
Melt butter in a large, heavy skillet over medium heat. Stir in sugar and cook, stirring, until sugar is melted and light brown. Slowly stir in the cream (mixture will bubble up). Never, ever stop stirring. You need to make sure to be scrapping the bottom.
Let mixture boil 1 minute, then reduce heat to low. Place the bananas in the pan and cook until heated through, about 2 minutes. Serve hot over ice cream. You can cut bananas into smaller pieces if you like!
Hint: is also a great topper for those special mornings over pancakes!
Sadly, that's all for the first edition of Eli's Cooking Corner!
If you have a suggestion or end up cooking the above recipes, please message me and your creation will be featured in the next Eli's Corner! Having cooking trouble? Can't get cakes to rise or burn everything you touch? Happy to help. Just sent Elizabeth16 a PM!