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Thread: The RPA Tribune! Issue #19: February 2016

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    Default The RPA Tribune! Issue #19: February 2016

    Welcome, welcome, one and all! The tribune reporter team are excited to announce that we are back in business! So without further ado, welcome to 2016's first issue of the;

    Breaking News!!!

    There's some exciting stuff going on around the site lately, not the least of which is the (fairly) recently opened Member Events Section, where our members are able to host and participate in their own awards and competitions! There are a ton of events happening right now, from art to shipping, so make sure to check it out!

    There have also been some changes to the layout of the roleplaying sections on RPA, with the abolishment of the mature section in favour of a mature sub-section in each genre. Along with these, we have a brand new section for Horror Roleplays, for those with more gruesome and terrifying tastes. The staff would like to give a quick shout out here to our awesome members for being so accommodating to these changes.

    All in all, a LOT has happened since our last Tribune issue, but never fear! We'll be keeping you updated on a monthly basis from now on. On that note, if anyone is interested in contributing to the reporter team, check out this thread for info.

    And now, on with the issue!

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    This Month In History
    by NotWhoIWas

    February- what!? Since when were you so awesome?!
    Take a look at these incredible (and quite intriguing) facts from the past, about our beloved-chubby-cherub-baby-filled month, February!

    February 1
    On this day in 2003, the space shuttle Columbia broke apart on re-entry into the Earth’s atmosphere, killing all on board.
    February 2
    In 1709, after being marooned on an island for 5 years- British sailor Alexander Selkirk is rescued. This later inspires the story, “Robinson Crusoe”
    February 3
    On this day in 1870, the 15th Amendment was ratified, allowing all citizens- no matter their race, color or previous servitude- the right to vote!
    February 4
    Charles Lindbergh was born on this day in 1902. He was the first person to make a non-stop solo flight from New York to Paris.
    February 5
    To all those who never want to grow up- Walt Disney’s “Peter Pan” opened on this day in New York at the Roxy Theatre in 1953.
    February 6
    On this day, Princess Elizabeth became (well, sort of!) Queen Elizabeth II, as her father, King George VI died- her actual coronation did not take place until June.
    You can’t buy me love, but I do love them!- the Beatles released their US album, Hey Jude on this day in 1970.
    The Great Bambino was born on this day in 1895! (If you don’t know who that is, please put aside your computer and watch “The Sandlot”)
    February 7
    Nope, it isn’t the ghost of Christmas past, but you will find that on this day in 1812, Charles Dickens was born
    February 8
    Mary Stuart, Queen of Scots was beheaded on this day in 1587, after being imprisoned for 19 by Queen Elizabeth I.
    February 9
    In 1945, Iwo Jima was invaded by US troops during WWII
    February 10
    Andrew Becker introduced and demonstrated the first diving suit in 1774.
    February 11
    After serving 27 years of a life sentence, at 71 years old, Nelson Mandela was released from prison in South Africa in 1990. He later went on to become President in 1994. I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. -Nelson Mandela
    February 12
    Ice, ice baby! The first artificial ice rink in North America (Madison Square Garden, New York City) is introduced in 1879
    February 13
    The outlaw himself, Jesse James holds up his first bank in Liberty, Missouri for $15,000 in 1866.
    In 1961, the Soviet Union fires a rocket from Sputnik V to Venus.
    February 14
    All’s fair in love and war? In 1929, seven members of the Bugs Moran gang were killed by members of Al Capone’s mobsters disguised as police officers.
    February 15
    Galileo “the universe doesn’t revolve around you” Galilei was born on this day in 1564.
    February 16
    Do you believe the curse? King Tutankhamen’s tomb was unsealed in Egypt in 1923.
    February 17
    We know you all love that salty snack- sardines are first canned by Julius Wolff-Eastport in 1876
    February 18
    We still miss you, my friend- US Astronomer Clyde Tombaugh discovers Pluto (now My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine….what? What did she serve us?!?!? The world may never know…)
    February 19
    Oh my stars!- Nicholaus Copernicus, considered the father of modern Astronomy, was born on this day in 1473.
    February 20
    Holy grasshoppers! The first Batman and Robin comic strip is published in newspapers in 1944
    IHOP? Nope, that would be IRUN- The first International Pancake race is held in Liberal, KS in 1949.
    February 21
    In 1431, England begins its trial against Joan of Arc.
    I’ve got a bad feeling about this- no, actually, it’s a great feeling! The Special Edition of “Empire Strikes Back” is released on this day in 1997.
    February 22
    80 participants of the bus boycotts gave themselves up for arrest in 1956. Included in those 80 were none other than Martin Luther King Jr and Rosa Parks. Later that year, the Supreme Court would mandate that all buses must be desegregated.
    February 23
    Like I always say, if it’s not Baroque, don’t fix it! George Frederic Handel was born in Germany in 1685.
    What’s the source of the Nile, you say? According to British Explorers in 1863 John Speke and J.A. Grant, it is Lake Victoria in Africa.
    February 24
    Talk about losing track of time- on this day in 1582, Pope Gregory XIII corrected mistakes on the Julian calendar- the very calendar we use today!
    February 25
    Talk to the hand, cause the face ain’t listenin’! Queen Elizabeth I is excommunicated by Pope Pius V in 1570.
    February 26
    The first red and green traffic lights are installed in 1930. (and thank you for creating the most beloved childrens game by introducing those colored lights!)
    February 27
    Live long and prosper: Leonard Nimoy, known widely for his character Spock on “Star Trek”, passes away in 2015.
    Beethoven’s 8th Symphony in F premiers in 1814.
    February 28
    Westminster Abbey opens in 1066.
    The final episode of M*A*S*H airs in 1983, drawing in over 125,000,000 viewers.
    February 29
    The first Grammy Awards were held in 1968!
    Frankly my dear, I don’t give a- what?! On this day in 1940, “Gone With The Wind” wins 8 Oscars.

    Member Interviews

    by NotWhoIWas

    Congratulations! You have wandered into the Member Interviews section!

    -confetti and balloons drop-

    Each issue of the RPA Tribune will feature Member Interviews, done by yours truly!

    What? What does this mean? How do I become a part of this glory?- you may ask yourself..

    Here's how it'll work!

    If you are interested in being interviewed
    -PM me
    -For simplicity's sake, I will interview people as they PM. So, if you are the first person to PM, I'll interview you first, the second will be second, and so on and on!
    -If there is an overwhelming amount of people wishing to be interviewed, then I will spotlight on multiple members (probably no more than 2-3)

    When will I know that I've been chosen?
    -As people start PMing, I'll contact you with the questions for the interview
    -Depending on the number of people that are interested, I'll let you know when you would most likely be spotlighted (so if there are like 50 people interested, it may be a few months before it'll be your turn)
    -If for whatever reason you decide you don't want to be interviewed/will be unavailable to be interviewed after all, just let me know and I'll remove your name from the listing with no hard feelings

    So, that being said- please PM me if you'd like to be interviewed and spotlighted in an issue of the RPA Tribune!

    Who, might you ask are the lucky members being spotlighted this month? Well none other than 5 of our very own, lovely and ever-helpful staff members!

    -Notty clears her throat and settles down with an impending list of very serious and deep questions-

    First up is....Kicks

    1. How long have you been a part of RPA?
    Two Junes ago! So for two and a half years. Though "technically" I've only been an out of the dark member since last year's RPApril.
    2. What is your favorite color?
    3. If you could be any flavor of ice cream, what would it be?
    Vanilla. white like me... but always classy
    4. What is your favorite roleplay that you’ve done?
    I have a lot @_@ but I gotta say "Terror in America" which was one of the parts to a long running series I GM. It was my favorite because that's when all the shit hit the fan and it really kicked off and relationships became so complex. There was a butt-ton of character development.
    5. What’s your favorite movie/tv show?
    That's not a fair question! I HAVE A LOT. But.... mainly... "The Walking Dead". Because zombies... and Daryl... and Rick. He freaking bit out a man's throat! IT WAS AWESOME. The dude was like "imma threaten you and your son" and Rick was like "uh-uh" AND HE BIT OUT THE MAN'S NECK LIKE HE WAS A ZOMBIE. Literally I thought he had turned at that point. Heart stopping and all freaking out like NOOOO NOT RICK. But don't worry, he's okay. He was just having the rumblies that only human flesh could satisfy.
    6. If you could have any animal in the world as a pet, what would it be?
    A Jawa. No? Not an animal? Damn. Okay. Well I'll have to settle for A KITTY CAT. But a cuddly one. Because my cat is sassy.
    7. What’s your greatest fear?
    The dark. Definitely, without a doubt, put it on a cookie worth- THE DARK. Don't like it! Don't like it one bit!
    8. Describe yourself in 5 words.
    A butterscotch pie of awesome.
    9. Your life has just been created into a movie- what is the title and who is playing you?
    "Well, Fuck" starring Laura Vandervoort as me. You're welcome, Canada.
    10. If you could relive one moment of your life, what would it be?
    It's just a small moment, but highly significant to me. And it's nothing spectacular that I would want to relive either. It's not even a pleasant memory or during an exciting time of my life. I would simply want to relive being in the garden of my grandma's house, surrounded by all the roses. White, yellow, red roses. Along the fence, growing in large bushes, against the teal exterior of the home. Walking up and down the cobblestone, praying, crying, and taking in the roses. Feet stepping over an unwound green hose. Nose tingling at the sweet smells of the roses. Fingers wiping and licking away stray hairs that fell in my face. Enraptured by the dark green, overgrown grass. The white, red, and yellow roses. The wheelbarrow full of soil and flowers. The ugly gray of the paved walkway that somehow gently mingled and shone with the rest of the hues of the garden.

    What a great kid! Next up, on our "Meet the Mod Member Month"....Breggo13

    1. How long have you been a part of RPA?
    I have been part of RPA since Eli dragged me almost two years now? But honestly seems more like forever
    2. What is your favorite color?
    Ooofff, that is a hard one. I gotta go with an aquamarine type thing
    3. If you could be any flavor of ice cream, what would it be?
    100% mint chocolate chip! But if I were a gelatto, I'd be mint lime one!
    4. What is your favorite roleplay that you’ve done?
    There were a few. I looooove the one I am in now with a beautiful partner Nymphadora but otherwise "Havanna Nights" with N, "Roses Stable" with Eli and of course "Legends" who was GMed by Eli
    5. What’s your favorite movie/tv show?
    LORD OF THE RINGS!!!! I mean, look at my username
    6. If you could have any animal in the world as a pet, what would it be
    I'd love to have either a dolphin/killer whale but more so, a huge feline like a snow leopard or a panther. ?
    7. What’s your greatest fear?'s a long story
    8. Describe yourself in 5 words.
    What can I possibly say?
    9. Your life has just been created into a movie- what is the title and who is playing you?
    I am playing me and the title.....hum...."Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost"
    10. If you could relive one moment of your life, what would it be?
    This Christmas break - I really enjoyed skiing and meeting a nice guy and just seeing my family.

    Next up on our list of celebrities, none other than....DistortedReality

    1. How long have you been a part of RPA?
    Going to be 4 years here soon
    2. What is your favorite color?
    Blue and or Black
    3. If you could be any flavor of ice cream, what would it be?
    4. What is your favorite roleplay that you’ve done?
    Probably C.O.T(Clubhouse of Toast) Waaay back a little after I joined.
    5. What’s your favorite movie/tv show?
    The old Teen Titans, it's just so good
    6. If you could have any animal in the world as a pet, what would it be?
    a tiger, so I could ride it into battle...or the Dairy Queen
    7. What’s your greatest fear?
    Heights *shiver*
    8. Describe yourself in 5 words.
    That weird guy you know
    9. Your life has just been created into a movie- what is the title and who is playing you?
    I'm bad at titles but whatever it's called I'd probably want Patton Oswald.
    10. If you could relive one moment of your life, what would it be?
    Probably this one convention I went to back in August.

    I mean, really? Can you believe these guys? Fantastic! Up next, the one, the only- hold onto your hats, folks, its .Κάρμα.

    1. How long have you been a part of RPA?
    Just a tiny bit over a year and a half
    2. What is your favorite color?
    Dark purple, or… Maybe green. That’s a hard one as I like lots of colors with other things but not necessarily on their own. Why do you ask me such hard questions?!
    3. If you could be any flavor of ice cream, what would it be?
    Chocolate chip cookie dough. Seems pretty normal and bland, until you bite into that delicious blob of perfection. Then you just want more and more.
    4. What is your favorite roleplay that you’ve done?
    I had a roleplay with Cpt. Vee about a year ago. It was about two bounty hunters who weren’t really all that good at being bounty hunters. It was lots of fun, and full of surprises. Vee is amazing and fun to play with. I also have one right now about a group of teenagers catching magic through some drugs. It’s full of laughs and I have very good partners there as well.
    5. What’s your favorite movie/tv show?
    Those constantly change. I would have to say my favorite movie is maybe Braveheart? I don’t really have total favorites, but I know what is NOT my favorite. I’m not a fan of unrealistic happily ever afters. I really like horror as well, but I’m really picky about it. It either has to be terrible and B grade for me to like it, or it has to be really suspenseful and scary such as The Conjuring and Anabelle. My current TV show obsession is IZombie. I also really love Orange is the New Black.

    6. If you could have any animal in the world as a pet, what would it be
    A dragon. I would ride it here, there, and everywhere. A burn down my foes if need be.?
    7. What’s your greatest fear?
    I’m terribly frightened of the dark. I do not like not being able to see what may be there. I used to sleep with all the lights in my house on, and still panic if I’m alone in the pitch black
    8. Describe yourself in 5 words.
    I am absolutely normal, mostly.
    9. Your life has just been created into a movie- what is the title and who is playing you?
    What Do You Want From Me: A Mothers Tale. The character hiding in the closet eating a candy bar. That’s me.
    10. If you could relive one moment of your life, what would it be?
    The last time I played piano next to my Grandmother, it was right before she passed, and she knew she was dying. She wanted to make the tape of her piano music for us all to have when she was gone. It was a beautiful moment, and I got to be apart of it. I wish I could be there again in that moment of her perfectly peaceful happiness.

    And last, but certainly not least in our line up, is the one, the only....Vanity&Ecstasy

    1. How long have you been a part of RPA?
    Almost 2 years
    2. What is your favorite color?
    3. If you could be any flavor of ice cream, what would it be?
    Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
    4. What is your favorite roleplay that you’ve done?
    You'd have to ask Mad Max/Juicesir for the name, but an old roleplay of his was set up to be one of my favorites.
    5. What’s your favorite movie/tv show?
    Kung Fu Hustle
    6. If you could have any animal in the world as a pet, what would it be?
    7. What’s your greatest fear?
    8. Describe yourself in 5 words.
    More awesome than you know
    9. Your life has just been created into a movie- what is the title and who is playing you?
    "The Hobbyist" Starring Tom Cruise/Brendon Urie (closest actor/singer that look similar to me)
    10. If you could relive one moment of your life, what would it be?
    There's nothing that really stands out. If it were more in the sense of a re-do I'd go back to high school. Otherwise there's nothing I want to relive.

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    The Artist Spotlight
    by NotWhoIWas

    Each month we will be spotlighting different artists here at RPA. So come in, grab a snack, and take a look at what sweet skills these folks have

    *Note: while this is intended to promote our artists, please be sure you are courteous of their work and effort- if you like what they've done, please contact them for permission if you wish to use their work- don't be a stealer!*

    Signature/Avatar Creators
    These lovely folks you can get in contact with to design and create unique and custom signatures and avatars! Check out these members and their amazing work!

    Hayabusa Graphics
    At this lovely, and quite popular shop, you can order images, animated gifs and text pieces. The work done is phenomenal and I am certain that you will love what you get!

    -[Karmic Atelier]-
    Here is another fantastic shop that you can order image links and text, as well as some beautiful graphics. The artist is incredibly friendly and patient- send them a message today!

    Wobs' Graphics Shoppe
    If you are looking for something a little different than our other 2 artists- this is the place. With incredible detail, graphics and use of text, these are off the chain! Take a couple minutes and look through the past sets- they will blow your mind!

    Doodlers, Draw-ers (is that even a word?) and Designers
    The people spotlighted here, are ones who have submitted their own work- whether it's characters they have drawn, or just doodles they do!

    Midori's Doodles
    This member knows where it's at! With several absolutely gorgeous character sketches, you can't help but agree with the others who have checked out their work- they are amazing!

    GothicKDM's work
    While this member may be new, they certainly know their way around a drawing board. (proverbial drawing board, that is!) Their work is breath-taking, and I think you'll agree after checking it out!

    Splat's Doodles
    This member is taking it back old school and showing off their talent with their pencil and paper doodles. (though I would hardly call them doodles!) These are gorgeous and certainly worth taking some time to look through what all they have done!

    by Buttercup

    Once again I am back on the Tribune to bring forth monthly recipes that are sure to warm not only your belly, but your heart. It is my goal to bring you recipes primarily crafted by myself, however... from time to time I do find a good recipe on the Internet that I will test out and bring here. That won't happen often, but I'll let you know when it does. A lot of what I'll try to bring to the table (heh, get it?) is recipes that offer self-sustainability.

    Homemade bread, homemade pasta... homemade stocks. Recipes of that nature have become my favorite as of late, and speaking of... what better way to start this issue than with homemade shrimp stock from scratch?

    Looks good, right? Imagine prepping this for two hours before work, and then...coming home three hours later to your house filled with the aroma of shrimp stock. It's a wonderful feeling, and as long as someone is there to watch the stock while you're gone... it really isn't something high maintenance, and it certainly doesn't take two hours to prepare once you know what you're doing.

    Shrimp stock is one of those recipes that comes from the heart. It does take a bit of time and technique to make the perfect stock, but... the results are very well worth it in the end. Without further notice, here's the recipe:

    In a large pot, add about six cups of water. Chop one cup of carrots (skin does -not- have to be peeled, just washed and chops don't have to be perfectly precise each time), 1/2 cup of onions (can be loosely chopped, just make sure the pieces are big enough to strain), and 1/2 cup of celery- this does need to be prepared and can be the most time consuming part of the recipe.

    Add these ingredients to the pot of water and turn on the heat to medium-high. Add one pound of peeled shrimp shells and if you have them, the heads. Sounds gross but trust me on this- total flavor booster!

    To this, take a cutting of cheesecloth (about a 5x5 portion) and add three bay leaves (whole), a palmful of whole peppercorns, a handful of parsley STEMS (save the parsley tips for your dish, they go fabulously in rice!), and a bit of cilantro stems if desired. Fold it like a burrito starting with the bottom corner over the ingredients- roll once or twice, fold the edges over the sides... and roll. Then, take a piece of chef's string and tie it around both ends, leaving plenty of string to put in the pot and tie on the side for fishing (get it?) later. Make sure and bounce the piece of cheesecloth around in the water in a similar fashion to making tea, to let the flavors absorb.

    Next, add a generous portion of dried basil and paprika to the water itself, as well as a small pinch of saffron. If you wish, you can add fresh basil to the Sachet D'Epices (Spice sachet) to help bring out the flavors even more. Then... add a small amount of white pepper. Maybe a teaspoon and a half at most. If you're a salt person- add salt to flavor. Bring to a boil then reduce the temperature until it simmers.

    Three hours later? Badaboom badabing... your house will smell like a fancy restaurant.

    Strain the mixture, and you can either eat the veggies or toss them... but by this time the flavor will have been absorbed into the stock, so I usually pitch them. Strain twice, once with a regular strainer and then with a fine strainer.

    For storing purposes, store in ice cube trays in the freezer for about 2-3 months. This recipe should fill up three to four ice cube trays and goes wonderfully with any seafood based rice dish.

    Obvious allergens include shellfish, but beyond that use your discretion.

    Well... I hope you enjoy! The prep time shouldn't take more than a half hour if you've already got some shrimp peels sitting aside. The most tedious task is chopping the veggies and peeling the celery. Overall cook time is roughly three hours. This serves quite a bit so don't ask serving sizes!


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    by Kris

    Blame it on RPA
    by G

    It's the month to celebrate lovin', and in the spirit of valentine's, we'd like to wish a happy one to the couples who have earned RPA's 'Blame it on the RP' badge - not only have our members made lifelong friendships in this second home of ours, some of them have found love! This badge is awarded to couples who met on RPA, and were still going strong a year later. Whether they remain a couple or not, they shared some happy, loving memories and we'd like to celebrate them.

    Here are the lovely couples who've earned it:

    Mad Max & Kiki

    P.K. & Masque

    Bee Bear & Jeremor

    AngelicAsylum & Imp

    Calypso & Ilith

    Pip & Awkwardness is Awesome

    Ru & Mr. Scarlet

    Atrum Daemon &
    Earl Greyfox

    Ashen & Drakkonas

    Clumsy Calamity &
    8 Bit Hero

    by Breggo13

    Hey ya'll! You read the title, you know what's up! That's right! The RPA Tribune will now have a monthly "Caption This" contest! *round of thunderous applause and hitting axes against shields*

    The rules are simple - each month, I will provide you with two funny images off the internet. Your job is to come up with a funny comment, caption or speech bubble for one of the two images (or both if you are super inspired). You will have three weeks to submit your caption to any of the Tribune staff members. During the last week, the two funniest captions will be selected by the staff and featured in the next release of the tribune.

    Find a funny image that you think will fit? Feel free to send it my way and who knows - perhaps it will be the next to participate in "Caption This".

    - All RPA rules apply
    - Limit only one submission per picture (max two submissions each month)
    - Be creative! Don't copy memes already made!
    - Have fun!

    Spoiler: Caption 1.1 

    Spoiler: Caption 1.2 

    The Tribune Crossword Puzzle


    • 2. Member with a shakespearean-esque name.
    • 5. A member whose lofty post count has an award in it's honour.
    • 8. A place to relax, play games and socialise
    • 11. Annual writing month on RPA

    • 1. The section for roleplays between only two people
    • 3. A fantasy world where members become adventurers
    • 4. A member renowned for their skill with graphics
    • 6. Winner of 'the Chameleon' award 2015
    • 7. The first month of the year on RPA
    • 9. Annual fighting event on RPA
    • 10. The colour of the names of RPA's administrators

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    The Gamer's Review
    by Kris and DistortedReality

    Hello everyone,
    Kris and DR reporting for duty.

    DR: Going first!
    Game Review: Darkest Dungeon.

    Feel like substituting all that mushy Valentines Day love and affection with some dark HP Lovecraft inspired dungeon crawling? Then do I have a game for you. Darkest Dungeon has been in early access since early 2015 but just now saw a full release here in January of this year. It's a turn based, tactical, RPG with an amazing art style and an even more amazing narrator.

    While 90% of this game is spent in dungeons watching the lives of your heroes hang in the balance, the other 10% is spent in your hometown dubbed "The Hamlet." Here you can spend various currencies to upgrade buildings or relieve your heroes of stress, one of the key components of the game. Each week you will send out a group of 4 people into a dungeon environment where you will attempt to complete an objective as well as gather as much loot as your tiny pockets can hold, and battles are completed in turn based, tactical moves, while also praising RNGesus to hope that your hits land.
    There is a second bar that matters just as much as a character's health bar and it's what I've mentioned before, the stress meter. As your hero's face these horrid nightmarish creatures they will gain it. Enough of it and your character can literally have a heart attack and die. This meter can only be reduced in the hub area "The Hamlet" which is a cool way of making sure you're rotating your teams out.
    Overall it's a game that will punish you. You will experience crushing defeat and victories in the face of certain death. I can't recommend this game enough.
    - Amazing art style and narrator
    - Some awesome game mechanics
    - Nice Variety of classes(14)

    - The upgrading of weapons and armor is a bit linear
    - You can be completely screwed by RNG

    Overall Score: 4/5

    That’s a very decent scoring. Should I get it? Will it make me break the screen of my computer in rage? Will I retire my real life forever!? So much to know!!!

    And it’s time for Retro!

    As some of you may (or may not know) my biggest gaming obsession (Before Mass Effect and The Witcher), is actually a cute JRPG Series called “Breath of Fire”

    As of today (2/9) Capcom (May god avenge them) has finally announced that the the third title remake for the PSP can now be acquired on the American port (Which is kinda sad, considering Europe had it since forever).

    A toast to that

    More info can be obtained at the following link:

    As me and the rest of the BoF fans trying to get the fifth title on another port, we will keep you posted.


    So… a little bird whispered to me that you have finished the witcher. Care to share with the rest of the class? And since it’s the V love month and shit, spill who you romanced? Or did you let Geralt travel all alone with Roach to the sunset?

    It. was. great.

    My cousin and I played through it together using Shareplay on the PS4. Basically we got what we considered the “best/good” ending. Where, Dikstrja rules the north, Ciri becomes a witcher, and Geralt and Yen live off in peace and happiness. Overall it was great. We also did Heart of Stone which was amazing.

    I felt really bad about Dikstrja… I kinda liked him. But Thaler was there from Game 1… so…. In my version Nilfgard established a new north, Ciri was the new empress and of course Geralt ended up with Triss, since I felt the flame there never actually died and he was actually allowed to experience something new.

    New game + with all your might DR!

    Okay so this ends this issue's coverage, check us out next time in our crazy corner of DR and Kris!

    Monthly Horoscopes

    by Breggo13

    February Horoscopes

    Each month, we will give one sign a special in depth explanation! This month is is.......*drumroll*.......PISCES!!!!

    Pisces is the sign of mysticism, mystery and the spiritual unknown. Pisces live in two worlds, the real world and the spiritual or mystical world where they interpret what they see into what they want. They do this to avoid all the realities of pain and suffering in the world. They have extremes of emotions and feel both good and bad intensively. Pisces have formidable intuitive ability. Most Pisces are somehow involved with occult or spiritualism. Pisces are very good at understanding people for they have the ability to delve into the psyche and see behind a person's motivations. Pisces are prone to drug addiction and indulging lifestyles because of their eternal search for themselves and their fear of confrontation and having to change a situation, also they justify drug use by allowing it to get closer with their 'spiritual selves'. Once they aware this is why they are doing it, it will be easier to kick the habit. Pisces are not the pushovers that they may seem, in fact they have strength of character and will stand up for what they believe in and and they can do hard work for something they believe in. They can be very lazy but only in matters that they do not care about. Pisces is the most sensitive of all zodiac signs.

    Curious to learn more??? Check it out below!

    Spoiler: Pisces Explained 
    Spoiler: Pisces Explained 

    Spoiler: Aries (March 21st - April 20th) 

    Spoiler: Taurus (April 21st - May 21st) 

    Spoiler: Gemini (May 22 - June 21) 

    Spoiler: Cancer (June 22 - July 23) 

    Spoiler: Leo (July 24 - August 23) 

    Spoiler: Virgo (August 24 - September 23) 

    Spoiler: Libra (September 24 - October 23) 

    Spoiler: Scorpio (October 24 - November 22) 

    Spoiler: Sagittarius (November 23 - December 22) 

    Spoiler: Capricorn (December 23 - January 20) 

    Spoiler: Aquarius (January 21 - February 19) 

    Spoiler: Pisces (February 20 - March 20) 

    Advice from a Pixie

    Welcome to the RPA Tribune where members are spotlighted for all their hardwork and creativity and- -and that is how you make babies!

    As RPA's Pixie, I naturally have all the wisdom in the world. And I figured I would share that wisdom with the rest of the community! Should a member need advice, they can submit a "Dear Pixie" questionnaire to be spotlighted in RPA's Tribune.

    For the sake of anonymity of the writer, their usernames will not be revealed. They shall not be disclosed!

    Because this is the first issue of the Tribune we have disclosed in... Freaking forever, I had to pull questions in a very ~mysterious~ fashion. But future submissions will come from the questionnaire being filled out and sent into me!

    Below you will find said questionnaire.

    Dear Pixie:

    ~insert question in need of advising here~

    Sign here with any closing signature you want. Some suggestions:

    -Fucking awesome member
    -Confused and lonely sinner
    -Bad ass mother fucker
    -Your mom's best lover
    -Your daddy's favorite kink
    -Your cousin you didn't know was your cousin and made out with behind the bleachers
    -Anxious and worried squirrel

    An example of a submission follows:

    Another example:

    Dear Pixie,

    There's a guy that asked me for my phone number. He wasn't exactly attractive but he had a nice personality and I haven't dated too much. So I was like "sure why not?" Now he's asking me on a date and why I am single. When I told him I just wasn't a fan of serious relationships at such a young age, he seemed really put off. What should I do? Is it wrong to not want a serious relationship? To just have fun?

    ~Single Worrier

    As you can see, you can submit anything in for advising. Unless it's a copy of your "super cool story" that needs editing. I don't do that. That's a no no.

    What are the rules?! HOW TO BECOME FEATURED IN THE TRIBUNE?!

    Mainly, just have common sense. You should be able to not have to ask yourself if it's appropriate to submit. If you ask yourself "is asking about a mole on my hoohoo appropriate?" It's probably not appropriate.

    How to become featured
    Submit a questionnaire. Simple as that.
    Dear Pixie,

    How do I make friends?
    ~Your favorite funny person

    Dear 'Favorite Funny Person'.

    There are many ways to make friends. Some ways include becoming a fireman and setting fire to someone's house. That way when they call the fire department, you come to their rescue and become their friend out of it. But on a more ~serious~ note, the best way to make true friends is to not be an asshole to people. If you're always rude and mean to people, people don't want to be your friend. They see you and go "nah I'd rather not". And if you're not an asshole and still lonely, chances are they're the asshole.

    If none of the above work, go out of your way and talk to people. If you talk to someone, a beautiful friendship can come out of it! Even though people are terrifying, you'll soon discover just how fun they can be.

    Dear Pixie,

    How do you hide a body? How do you get away with murder? How do you get away with a kidnapping? How do you make Meth? How do you program a computer? How do you use programming knowledge to hack stuff? How do you start a relationship? How do you use said relationship to make dem monies?

    ~Psycho's Twin Brother

    Dear 'Psycho's Twin Brother'.

    You have a lot of questions and I feel like I should all answer these in bulletins so that it's easy to follow along with.

    • How do you hide a body? There are many ways to do this. My favorite way is acid. Do not put the body in the bathtub though because that will melt the tub and the floor and you'll be left with a disgusting mess. Instead, hide the body in a plastic bin. Most plastic bins are meant to hold acid and not melt. You can also chop the body into pieces and hide the parts across the country, state, or town. But the best way to hide a body is to just shove them down a manhole and into the sewers. Nobody will look there!
    • How to get away with murder? Become OJ Simpson. If you can't do that, I suggest killing a nobody. If you're target isn't a nobody, then turn them against their friends and families. Once you've successfully done that, kill that bitch and stuff their body into acid or shove it down the sewer. Nobody will ever know the difference!
    • How do you get away with kidnapping? Kidnap a nobody. If you can't do that, write a convincing note in the perspective of the one you want to kidnap. Leave the note where someone can find it and then kidnap that person. Shove that person into a bomb bunker and keep them there. Call them your precious and treat them nicely otherwise they'll turn on you and find a way to escape.
    • How do you program a computer? Install Ubuntu. Log into "gentoo" at startup. Sign into "livecd". Fuck shit up.
    • How do you use programming knowledge to hack stuff? Oh dear psycho's twin brother... First get the skills and then I'll teach you.
    • How do you start a relationship? Grow some balls and ask a girl for her number. Flirt. Flirt successfully. Don't be creepy and say you're looking for a long term relationship. Don't be creepy and say you want a picture of her. Don't be creepy and send a dick-pic. Just be nice. Nice guys do not finish last.
    • How do you use said relationship to make dem monies? Exploit her to become a stripper. Or you become a stripper. If she doesn't have a job, you won't get dem monies. You could get a job. That's a great suggestion! Yes... get a job.

    Dear Pixie,

    How to escape a crazy axe murderer

    ~Psycho's twin brother's next victim

    Dear 'Psycho's twin brother's next victim',

    Be smart. Carry mace.

    Dear Pixie:

    Lately I've been feeling lost and a little isolated. I seem to be missing my friends, alot and my real life is seriously interfering with my fun time on RPA. How can I stop the real world from getting in the way of my kick ass fun?

    Up the creek, missing a paddle

    Dear 'Up the creek, missing a paddle',

    Tell the real world to stfu and smack it in the face with a burrito! Now, the high chances are that that won't work. So you're going to have to really think about this one... By making a schedule. Sounds like you've either got a lot going on at work or there might even be some family stuff in the mix. The important thing to do is take some time for yourself to have some fun. Sure, responsibilities are important too. But so is taking care of yourself and having fun! So plan a schedule! 8-5 is work time. 5-bedtime is your time!

  6. #6
    Month the of Member November
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    Wow some great content guys, nice to see this come back.

    For future editions I have a couple of suggestions. First a contents list in the OP. Second for the Q&A section I think it would be interesting if instead of just people nominating themselves people can nominate other members. I also think it could be could be cool to have a review section for rps that either reach Hall of Fame or reach 12 months.
    Born to be a king & fighting to survive in a world with the darkest powers.

    The Fresh Prince of Britain • RPAs personal wolf fetish • RPA's Wolf Mascot • Crazy the Wolfheart

  7. #7
    My Son; My Sun.
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    Great ideas, Crazywolf!

    Also awesome - in teh horoscopes my first important date is feb 17th - and I'm flying to NZ today!!

  8. #8
    Scintillating Sinner
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    Great job! Glad to have the Tribune back.
    Spoiler: stuffz 

  9. #9
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    Good to see this return!


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