The long seconds when he didn't speak were agonizing. Mae hated the conflicting opinions in her mind, and she wished Lochan would speak so that they may quiet or she may have another sound to concentrate on. Finally he did, and he seemed gentle, understanding even. The wanderer looked him over. He was trusting her, from the sounds of things. Despite it all, he was still standing by her, ready to take her side. Mae could feel the lump in her throat start to rise, but when she saw him lift an arm, offer a hand to her, Mae fell to her knees.
The tears came all at once, light dewdrops racing down Mae's face. She tried to wipe them, but they were too numerous, and she was uselessly dampening her sleeve. Mae cursed herself for the pathetic outburst, but she couldn't help it. This man, this mere thief who had joined her on a whim, upon finding out she was one and the same as those who had murdered his family; he still wanted to be with her, to support her. She couldn't understand why. Mae wanted to ask him, but the words wouldn't come. Instead she sat, silently sobbing, for a few minutes, until finally the tears died away and she was left alone with her friend.
"I'm sorry," she finally announced. Mae got to her feet, legs wobbly, and avoided eye contact with Lochan. Her eyes were still glossed over, her cheeks damp, and she stood, embarrassed, before him. She cleared her throat. "I've never had someone like you in my life, Lochan," she mumbled. "Anyone else would have left, if not by now, then definitely after that. You're... You're something special, and I'm not certain I deserve you here."
She spent a moment straightening herself. Mae looked out at the field around them. "I don't use it much," she reasoned. "There's too much risk in its backfiring. I've mastered minor spells, like the fire earlier, but I try not to use them much before I hate who they make me into." She tapped her book lightly. "Every spell in the whole world is in here, I'm sure. That's what all those words are, incantations and ingredients. Experienced mages don't quite need those things, especially not for easy spells. There are white magic spells in here too, but I never got the hang of them. I seem to specialize in black magic, but I have a decent grasp of fire and lightning magic, and I've successfully pulled off ice, earth, and wind as well." She turned to him, finally looking at him. "So there I am. Maybe now that I won't have to hide, we can find a use for all that. For now... Maybe we should get going before I have another breakdown."
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