The RPA Tribune! Issue #21: May 2016

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Phew, what a busy month RPApril was! SO busy that no amount of whipping cajoling could get everything done in time for the Tribune - but never fear! May is here! And with it, a brand new issue of your favourite all-things-rpa newspaper! <3




Breaking News!!!

The winners of 2016's RPApril events have been announced! It was HUGE this year, and The Tribune wants to take a moment to say a big congratulations to all the winners, and a huge thankyou to everyone who entered, ran and judged contests. We'll be featuring some of the winning pieces in this issue!

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Don't miss out on congratulating our Member of the Month for May - Rabbit!


So, without further ado, for your reading pleasure; here is this years winner of the coveted Big Boss Story comp award:

Spoiler: By Nori. Rated M for violent and possibly triggering themes. 

Dale Morison had always dreamed of being in the army, ever since he was a little boy. His Papa would tell him and his brother Steve all kinds of stories of his own time spent in the war. Some might say it was wrong to fill a child's mind with such stories, gruesome details not excluded, but Papa was determined to raise them "right" which meant prepping the young boys for the future they were sure to lead. After all, every male Morison had spent some time defending their great country, so it was only expected of the two boys to grow up to be fine young soldiers.

Steve Morison had never yearned to share in that dream. He found his Papa's stories more terrifying than anything, and war sounded like such a violent, terrible thing. He had expressed these opinions once or twice but soon learned that it was simply better to keep his mouth shut; he didn't want to cause his fragile Papa any more pain than necessary, and discovering that one of his two grandsons was a "sissy" was more than a little heartbreaking to the old man.

Over the years, Steve learned to keep his mouth shut about most things. He and his family never saw eye-to-eye, but he never wanted to cause any trouble. On his eighteenth birthday when he was told that he was to enlist in the army, he didn't bat an eyelash. His older brother had already earned so many medals for his service, and now it was time for Sissy Steve to step up to the plate.

Training was a bit of a blur; he remembered being sore and tired all of the time. He was a quick learner, got along well with the other soldiers-in-training, and respected his superiors. He did what was asked of him without complaint, and while he wasn't the best at combat, he followed orders well, the only trait that a soldier really needed when it came to war.

He didn't know what was going to happen to him after the few weeks of training, so he was mildly surprised when he was told that he was going to be sent on a mission down in the Caribbeans along with some other newbies and even some well-respected generals. He was excited at first: he was glad to not be heading to the front lines of the war, and it sounded like a super important mission.

However, once it was explained to him that they were simply going to be investigating a supposedly abandoned enemy fort on one of the smaller islands, he felt a little less special. He supposed every newbie would have to start somewhere, though, and it seemed pretty safe. There probably wasn't going to be a whole lot of fighting if the fort really was abandoned, but if it wasn't... well, he could push past his pacifistic ways long enough to survive, at least.

Even after he arrived and met up with a troop, he felt extremely unprepared and uneducated on what was going to be facing him. Some of the soldiers were nice enough to him, but the two generals frightened him greatly. They were even more stern than the people who had been training him, if that was possible! General Curtis was okay enough to be around, but in the couple of days they spent preparing and making their way towards the (hopefully) empty enemy base, Steve discovered that General Kriton was not a force to be reckoned with and avoided him at all costs.

He made friends with a guy named Rory, a young ginger who planned on getting a teaching degree in science once he was out of the army, and a dude named Harry, a simple man who constantly went on and on about his three little girls back at home. They joked when their superiors weren't around, swapped life stories, sang cheerful (and often inappropriate) songs, and simply had a good time. In those couple of days, Steve felt more at home than he ever had in his life.

However, he was soon reminded that he had a job to do.

After going around the perimeter, they realized that the fort was huge, much larger than had been predicted, and it became obvious that they would have to split off into two groups; one would go in through the back, and the other through the front. Each group, led by the generals, would consist of a total of ten men each.

Steve was a part of group B under General Kriton's reign, but Rory and Harry were with him, so it wasn't all bad. They headed in through the entrance to the building, guns and flashlights in hand. Without power, the place was extremely dark, and even with the flashlights, it was rather difficult to see more than a few meters ahead.

They must have been walking for at least an hour in total silence without once ever running into the other group; perhaps this place was much larger than they had originally thought. Curtis and Kriton would send info over what they found and where they were at over the walkie talkies, but there really wasn't much to share.

The place was indeed abandoned, and it looked like it was left in a hurry: desks in the office-like rooms were left in disarray, some plates of molding food laid on the tables in the mess hall, beds in the dorms area were left unmade. It was all really rather peculiar, leaving anxiety to be high among the newer recruits.

"What would make them want to leave in such a hurry?" Rory wondered aloud to his fellow soldiers just before Kriton's walkie talkie buzzed to life.

"Breaker, breaker, do you copy? Over." The general's voice sounded quite frantic, startling the entire group (excluding Kriton, who was always stone-faced). The leader had to shush his subordinates whispers before he responded.

"Yes, I copy. What's going on? Over," General Kriton replied swiftly with a furrowed brow. Had the A group been met with a complication of some sort? Steve looked over at Harry, who was closest to him, in confusion, but the larger man merely shrugged his shoulders, equally puzzled by the urgent call. The troop waited in silence for some time before the walkie talkie buzzed once more.

"We're down in the basement, where they kept the prison cells. We think there are people down here. Over."

The whispers started up again, louder this time, and Steve was certain that he could feel his heart leap into his throat. "So this place really isn't abandoned?" and "Do you think they're hostile?" and "What if they're aliens?!" were among the few louder murmurs before the general snapped at them, and they immediately shut the fuck up after remembering that this was the army and they needed to stop acting like frightened schoolboys. Once the soldiers were quieted, Kriton replied.

"So you think there are prisoners down there? Do you need back-up? Over."

There wasn't a reply for a solid minute.

"Do you copy? Over."

Two minutes passed.

"We're coming down there. Over."

With that statement, they immediately began making their way down to the basement area. They hadn't been that way easily, but with signs posted on the halls, it wasn't all that hard to locate. The gun Steve was holding shook as he attempted to stop the quivering of his hand, and he was glad that he was not up front or the general would surely have his head for being such a sissy. He glimpsed at the soldiers around him, but while there was a gleam of fright in their eyes, their faces showed only bravery. He tried to put on a brave mask, too, but found that it simply did not suit him.

They made it down to the basement in twenty minutes flat, and during that time, Kriton attempted to get a hold of the other group on multiple occasions but never got a reply. They reached the heavy metal door marked "Prison Cells" and the general paused for a moment to deliver a simple message:

"Have your guns at the ready."

Nothing could have prepare them from the horrors they faced as soon as they moved past that doorway. No one was really sure what exactly attacked them as the darkness made it nearly impossible to see. The things were fast, too, and zipped in between the rays of artificial light before anyone could get a real good look at them. It wasn't until the door slammed shut behind them that they started to shoot.

The anxiety of the group went from about five to ten when they all started shooting at the creatures at once. Screams rung out, piercing over the sound of flesh tearing and bones crunching. Steve felt a hand on his wrist, grabbing and pulling him down the hall. He tried to pull away before realizing that it was only Rory trying to lead him to safety. There were a few others ahead of them, he realized as he ran as fast as his shaking legs would permit, and the creatures, whatever the hell they were, were bounding down the hall after them.

Before he knew it, he was being thrown down on a padded floor. It took a moment for him to adjust and comprehend what was going on around him, but when he heard the slamming and locking of a door close to him, his brain finally started to work.

They were in a padded cell, and after moving his flashlight across the people around him, he noted that there were four other people in the room with him: General Kriton, Rory, Harry, and another guy named Mike. Everyone was breathing heavily and looked absolutely petrified; even Kriton looked a little worse for wear. It was a long while before anyone spoke.

"What the fuck just happened?" Mike asked loudly, forgetting the rule about not cursing in front of superiors. Kriton didn't even scold him for it, though, as there were much more pressing issues at hand.

"They were people, all right," Kriton muttered under his breath, voice barely audible over the sound of the things outside scratching on the impenetrable door, while trying to get his damaged walkie talkie to work, "Wild eyes, foam around the mouth... I think it's rabies."

The room was quiet for a while after that, even the clawing outside began to lessen and then disappeared altogether. Steve, unnerved by the sudden silence, found himself speaking the first thing that came to mind, which was, "Well, is everyone all right?" Affirmatives were given, so they assumed that the only ones who had been injured were those who couldn't make it to the room in time.

Kriton cried out then, and everyone looked over to see why. He had gotten the walkie talkie to work, and turning away from the group, he quickly got a hold of their base, briefing them on the situation before asking for reinforcements. When he announced that help was on the way and would be there in about an hour, everyone cheered.

The moment of victory was broken, however, when Steve looked over at Harry, who was sitting across from the door with his back against the padded wall, and saw that one of the man's hands was covering something just below his ribcage, and he appeared to be in pain. Brow furrowed, Steve prodded him, "Hey, you sure you're okay, Harry?"

All eyes in the room flicked over to the man in question, and Harry in turn suddenly grew extremely apprehensive. "Y-yeah, I'm fine! Just peachy!" Kriton, however, was not buying it.

"Take that off now!" he snapped in his most authoritative tone, gesturing to Harry's uniform top.

"B-but, sir, I-I..."

"That was a direct order, soldier!"

Harry, loyal to his superior to the end, lowered his gaze and slowly removed the layers of his shirt. All flashlights on him, the huge bite on his torso was quite noticeable and grotesque. Rory turned and threw up on the spot, Steve gasped in surprise, Mike moved closer towards the door, and Kriton's gaze hardened. Again, the room was quiet until Kriton gave another order to no one in particular:

"Kill him."

The soldiers' eyes went wide as saucers, and all gazes turned towards the general. Protests were immediately made from all three of them, but Kriton's face was as cold and unfeeling as ever. Five of their soldiers were dead, the entirety of group A was more than likely dead, and now they wanted to kill another one of their soldiers? In a time where they were supposed to be banding together, they were falling apart.

"Pl-please, I want to see my family again," Harry pleaded from his spot on the floor with tears streaming un-soldierly down his face.

"What if they don't have rabies? It was so dark out there, there was no way to tell what they looked like," Rory attempted to rationalize with the general.

"It's not right to kill one of your own. it just ain't right," Mike was murmuring while shaking his head, unable and unwilling to believe what was going on.

"We can wait for the reinforcements. They could help him!" Steve piped in without hesitation, desperate to save the friend he had only just met a few days prior.

Kriton simply shook his head at them. "I'm certain it was rabies," he affirmed, his tone suggesting that there would be no room for argument on this, "and rabies isn't like the cold or the flu; it can not be cured. Putting him down now would only be humane." Silence hung over them again as the weight of the general's words slowly sank in. No one really knew what to say or how to console the weeping man on the floor.

"Maybe," Rory's voice was hardly more than a whispers, so defeated and tired, "maybe the general's right."

Those words hung heavy in everyone's ears, and the injured man started pleading frantically. It all went on deaf ears, though, as they thought over what to do. Someone was going to have to shoot him, but who would be the one brave enough to commit such an atrocity? Before anyone could decide, a shot rang out, startling all present.

Kriton had been shot. It wasn't particularly difficult to figure out who shot him. Everyone, too ashamed to look at him, had turned their gaze and flashlights away from Harry, giving him the perfect opportunity to defend his life. Having been shot square in the neck, Kriton fell to the ground lifeless as everyone cried out in both fear and grief. Rory, Mike, and Steve quickly brought their own guns up, aiming at the murderer.

"Please, Harry, we really don't want to hurt you," Steve tried to reason with his friend, but the man was absolutely hysterical. They tried to move closer towards him, but the madman's grip on the gun only tightened, forcing them back. "Harry," Steve tried again in the calmest voice he could muster, "it's going to be all right. Think of your girls, Harry." This seemed to catch Harry's attention, and the gun lowered slightly. "I bet they want to see you more than anything in the world, and to do that, first you have to give me your gun, okay?"

After a brief moment of hesitation, Harry slowly passed his gun over to Steve, who dropped his flash light so he could grab the weapon. At first, everything seemed like it was going to be okay until another shot rang out.

It was Harry who fell to the ground this time, and panicked eyes flicked over to Mike. "Mike!" Rory snapped, "Steve had it under control!"

"He was still infected!" Mike shouted back to the ginger in defense.

"We had no way of knowing for sure! You just killed an innocent man!"

The two's argument began to escalate to the point of them screaming at the top of their lungs at each other. Steve tried to intervene, but their voices overpowered him. He felt so hopeless when shots fired; who had pulled the trigger first, he didn't know, but that fact of the matter was that he was the only one standing when it was all said and done.

A tremor made its way up his spine as he looked at the bloody mess and dead bodies scattered across the floor. Oh God, oh God, why had this happened? Why did this have to happen to him? His legs gave out from under him as he collapsed onto his knees. He never felt so scared, so alone, and so tainted. The sound of footsteps pounding down the hallway outside, gunshots firing, voices calling out, and someone pounding on the door of the room he was in did not seem to process in his brain.

He could not think about being rescued. He could not think about the dead bodies laying at his feet. He could not think about the disappointment he imagined on his Papa's face.

All he could think about was how incredibly cold his gun was against his temple.

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By NotWhoIWas

Back for another round cause we can't be held down....
ARTIST SPOTLIGHT

Each month we will be featuring several artists in the RPA community! Take a look at the incredible talents these people have!

If you would like to be featured in the RPA Tribune as an artist, please contact me (Notty)

Avi's, Signatures and Sets- Oh my!
Elora's Shop of Goodies
Yippee! It's back up and running again! Go in and check out some of the amazing new sets Elora has been working on, with her newly honed skillz of an artist!

Enchanted Vestments
One of the greatest gals around RPA now does sets- what, what?! That's right! You heard it! Meg has opened up her own shop and has some amazing pieces! Remember that awesome banner we had for a couple weeks?! Yup, that was all her! Go check it out! NOW!

The Parlor
The lovely Karma and Nara have teamed up and what a team they are! These two come up with some absolutely gorgeous sets, and you have to get in to see their work!



Featured Story by Megilwen

Winner of the 'Dark and Stormy Cliche' contest

It was a dark and stormy night...

But it was always that way in her mind, especially now at the end. Dark, stormy, and chaotic. A literal nightmare, all of her own creation now. Ever since the accident, she’d been trapped here. Able to hear and see, unable to move or speak. At first people had been there everyday. Her friends and family more than she’d ever really believe cared. So many people claim to be your friends, only to not really be there when needed. Fake friends or friends she’d thought she’d chased them away long ago with her depression. She was less alone than she’d thought. It was too bad she realized that when it was probably too late.

They came bringing gifts or just to sit. Some holding her hand and just sitting quietly. Others talking to her just keeping her company. Some told funny stories, she suspected that they were more to cheer themselves up then for her. Others cried. Her parents had cried the most. Followed by him. She was surprised when he first came, the day after. She hadn’t expected it. Hadn’t thought he cared. Hadn’t thought anyone had really cared. How she’d wanted to scream, to cry, hands beating at the invisible wall that kept her from being able to respond as he confessed how he’d always loved her. How he wished he hadn’t been so scared to admit it that he’d pushed her away so as not to ruin their friendship. How in the end, even now, he still wished he would have given them a chance. Why had she been so stupid? She’d always swore she wouldn’t do...do what she did. It had felt like she was being crushed by the weight of everything and she’d...well she’d given up. Stupid.

She’d struggled and fought in her mind. Trying to get free. Trying to move, to speak, to do anything to show them that she was still here. Show them she was sorry. That she’d made a mistake. That she wished she’d been stronger and had fought harder. That if she’d spoken the truth to someone instead of bottling it all inside and believing that it was really all her fault. Then maybe, maybe she would have realized just how many people stood by her side. Instead of the accident being what showed her the truth.

As time went on, the visitors grew further and further apart, until she mostly saw just the doctors and the nurses. She could tell just how much people cared just by how quickly they stopped coming. Or maybe they were just quick to give up hope. I’m still here! She’d scream whenever someone came to visit, but she could always tell when this was the last time they’d come. It showed in their eyes. In the way, they spoke to her barely able to actually look at her.

Eventually it was only her parents and him. He still came at least, though he didn’t talk much anymore. It wouldn’t be long before he too stopped coming. She could see the strain in his muscles, in his face. She could read the signs, the same signs in her parent’s faces. They were giving up. And then they did. No one came. She was finally left alone. The self-fulfilling prophecy. She’d always believed she was alone and now she was. Her personal nightmare. She screamed and she cried but there was no one to hear. Please don’t leave me…

Then after months of being left alone, they came back. Her parents came. He came too. However, they were already crying. The doctor came in and moved to stand by the machines. She knew what this mean. The end. NO! I don’t want to go! PLEASE! But they didn’t hear. They never heard. As the machines were turned off and her vision faded to black, she heard one final thing. “We love you.”

She cried in her mind. Struggling to stay, fighting to hold out for just a little longer, as long as she could. However, this time the choice was removed from her hands and as everything ended she had one final thought, I’m sorry….

[G]

My RPA History
by Kris

A history of some of our members' time on the site.

m139:

Happy 2nd-3rd Birthday to me!

Well guys, looks like I've stuck around here for two or three years, depending on how you count it. By date, today ends year three. But by time I've actually used this site- well, let's just say an entire year was a vacation.

And now, my time on RPA in review.

Once upon a time, I decided to role-play on this site called super poke pets. It has since shut down (RIP Shrimpy). Then, I did not RP for about a year, until I decided I desperately needed to procrastinate. So I googled "role-playing sites". This one came up, but I quickly decided against it because of how long it took everyone to respond.

Two days later, still not having found anything worth my time, I came across this site again. And then, I though to myself... maybe?

And so I started registering. I was going to originally have my user name as M, but it just so happened that all the people who had colored names at the time of registration were alphabet letters, so I added the usual digits at the end. And then I kept it.

I remember my first RP, Dragon Rider's Academy. That was a fun RP, school-turned fleeing from evil people. It turned into a sandlot when the GM disappeared, but surprisingly got to an ending. To all the people who helped out in that about year long process, thanks.

I remember when I got my sister Rina to join. I remember proofreading some of her posts, and then starting a roleplay with her: the Battle of the Corn Gods. It was never finished, but it sure was ridiculous in all sorts of ways.

I remember the mafia series. I did not do 1, but as for the rest... Well, let's just say I was killed by mafia in one, lynched in another, and survived in the third. To those who ran them, awesome stuff.

I remember my failure at starting my own original plot. The mechanics were just too complicated. Maybe someday.

And I remember my first RPApril, where I amassed a bunch of badges. In fact, that has always been one of my goals, and was one of the reasons why I joined the rumble, even when only one badge was available (at the start).

The rumble was a fun experience. I honestly though I was going to be out second round.I am grateful for those who put it on and those who fought with me, and put up with my- well, interesting- character.

I remember leaving right before the results were announced and waiting for almost a month without any knowledge of what had happened, and coming back to find a new badge. I remember the first writing prompts shortly after, and trying to come up with little stories for each.

And then I left, for my year break. And then, I came back.

To be honest, the site did have a different feeling from when I left. Different, but not bad. I changed my name for a while, and joined a couple of roleplays, much less than I might have once upon a time. Somethings changed, and it is probably not just the site, but me as well...

And as for now? Now I look back upon the two-three years. I see what has happened is now hardened into a stone not unlike diamond, clearer than it once was, and never able to be changed. It is not without imperfections, yet it is beautiful. When I turn, I see, through the mist, the quivering thing that is the future. Who knows what it shall hold?

And here I am in the present, moving forward, only able to grasp at the wisps of time. But for the present...

Happy 2nd-3rd birthday to me, and happy whatever day it is to you!

---

Crazywolf:

A Brief History of Downtown 2014-2016

Also viewable in creative corner but I thought it'd paste a copy to my blog as well. Gather round ye newbies and listen...

A Brief History of Downtown: 2014-2016

Written by Crazywolf

2014 - Random Fun

Back in 2014 when I first joined the most popular forum games in Downtown were the likes of Guys vs Girls, Members vs Staff, Playing Matchmaker and Rate the Signature all of which are still going strong today, there was also Rate the Avatar which is now defunct. I can't remember exactly when I started posting forum games myself but an early hit was Invent a Title for the Person Above You and another was Battle of the Avatars. Initially Siks didn't seem to be around much but toward the end of the year he was definately the most prolific poster on that section. Meanwhile the popular chat threads of that time were The Rep Machine, Random Facts About Yourself and the Random Thoughts thread. (Personally the first of those three is something I've always disliked both then and now but I'll leave that debate to another time.) Regulars in Thoughts and Facts included the likes of Zulera, Nachthexe, Lestari, MisstheMarx, Serah (queen of cookies and sparkles), P.K. and Kaptain Johnson with the list for Rep Machine being quite similar.

2015 - Year of the family.

The year 2015 saw an influx of new Downtowners such as Meg, Griffin, Gelid Phantom (gone but not forgotten) and Liono as well as a reappearance from Miss Devil who had been on hiatus for the past year or so. Combined to existing members like Siks, P.K. etc. the new arrivals made the game section in that year pretty hot and active. It will probably come over a bit narcissist but games I remember most in this time tend to be ones of my own like King of the Hill and Hurt or Heal: Superhero Edition. Another popular new game however was G's Roll High which is still going today.

In the chat sections things were changing too. It all started when GoldenMyth posted the first ever RPA Family thread. What started out with the question "who are your family on rpa?" soon morphed itself into a form of roleplaying leading to all sorts of random madness. In the early days of the thread there were so many active members that really it's impossible to try and remember or list them all though early names included the likes of Kicks, DC, DR, Van, Meg, Siks, Koti, Minerva (back then known as Hatter or Masque), P.K. and Wolfy. Probably the person who took the roleplaying angle to the furthest extent was a member called DracoDecathalon who was always teleporting off on world-saving quests or trying to draw other family members into his anime-related missions. Over the year the thread ended up getting deleted a couple of times meaning the current thread at the time I write this is actually the third one it's had. Also over time the in-character element steadily died off to the point it became more like a normal chat thread which is how it is now. One knock-on effect when the Family thread started was that some of the previous most popular threads like Random Thoughts and Random Facts went pretty dead.

2015 also saw a revival of the Join A Club section led by Miss Devil with her Ladies Lounge and Devil's Canyon. The Ladies Lounge was a curious entity in the regard it was also open to men and in fact after the first 10 or so pages it felt like there were more men in there than women though I must say I didn't post a lot in there myself. Another well used club-thread was Checkmate run by Hayabusa, Sinderella, Karma, Juicesir and Kiki. I never actually posted in there myself but from the outside it looked like it was the close friends of Haya, Sin et al who most often frequented it.

2016 - The game renaissance?

Early 2016 was when Miss Devil decided to give the game section a renaissance and I think in that time she must have posted about 50 new game threads. Meanwhile her Ladies Lounge got revamped as The Lounge. Early 2016 also saw the Water Wars: Snowball Edition, an epic multiplayer game that ran 24/7. As of right now the Family thread has dropped a long way from it's heyday of activity but as of now it and The Lounge are both still going along. What will the rest of 2016 and future years bring to Downtown? Who knows... but hopefully I shall be around to see it.





by NotWhoIWas

Here we are again, caught up in the business of RPA April, but not too busy to miss out on these great folk! Check out our lovely Member Interviews for the month of April!

First off on our interviews for this month, we have the recent MoTM, Gumbo!

1. What's your favorite book?
I would say...The Giver, by Lois Lowry. I've always loved that book.

2. If you could be any character from a movie, who would you be and why?
Hm....I have no idea.
Maybe Rey from Star Wars the Force Awakens.

3. Shark diving, bungee jumping, or sky diving?
Sky diving probably. I'd hate bungee jumping, and I don't like the ocean.

4. How did you meet your best friend?
I don't remember. I think we met in our scout troop, but I'm not sure. They may have been a friend of a friend.

5. If you were going to the movies alone, what movie would you go see?
Hm...right now? If it's for movies out now I'd go see Hardcore Henry. That movie looks awesome.

6. What is something you've always wanted to try, but have been too scared to?
Act. Being in theater would be cool, but I'm shy and I don't think I'd be very good.

7. What is your favorite season?
The summer is great. You can have ice cream and go into pools without people looking at you oddly.

8. If you could have any animal as a pet, what would it be?
A big dog would be cool. But like, a big fluffy dog that thinks it's a lap dog.

9. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Veronica would be cool. I don't know why.

10. What movie makes you cry every single time you watch it, without fail?
I don't think I've ever cried at a movie, but Avengers Age of Ultron makes me cry tears of disappointment and rage, so I guess that counts.
I hate that movie

Our next member is a newbie, but quickly making their name around RPA- Holden!

1. What's your favorite book?
My favorite book is probably RANT, by Chuck Palahniuk. Same guy who wrote Fight Club, all of his work is golden.

It's really a gift. Plot synopsis is boy with rabies learns how to use wrecking cars to time travel. That was a lotta spoilers. Because none of the book hints to any of that until the last three chapters. Also written entirely in the style of an oral interview? Absolute anomaly, I rate it 20/10.

2. If you could be any character from a movie, who would you be and why?
If I could be any movie character, I think that I would be Henry Hill, from Goodfellas. Movie about a bunch'a mobsters. Very sketch. Really, it's not because he's especially intelligent or talented. Truly, he has absolutely nothing going for him.

But for as long as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.

3. Shark diving, bungee jumping, or sky diving?
Oh my good golly, shark diving. Always shark diving. Because a) the ocean is my absolute favorite thing in the history of ever and b) sharks are probably just really cuddly lovebugs who need more understanding. Do I have any evidence on that statement? No. Am I willing to go find out? Awwww yisssss

4. How did you meet your best friend?
Well, public interview format, this is something of a personal factoid. I'm not entirely sure how we became best friends, it was all very strange and convoluted. In essence, we had both heard of one another through my sister. And in light of her insistence that we get acquainted, we both decided to never, ever meet each other, ever.

Eventually, she pulled the old bait-n'-switch, and took him to my place of employment while I was at work. We were mutually devastated. We then didn't speak to each other for at least a year, whereafter we both started ending up in all the same places and watching movies and generally attempting to one-up one another, and now he's introduced me to this very website. Small world, isn't it?

5. If you were going to the movies alone, what movie would you go see?
Probably something embarrassingly boring, to be honest with you. When I'm alone I watch Blue Planet and no one makes fun of me and I learn about coral reefs and everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.

6. What is something you've always wanted to try, but have been too scared to?
I have always wanted to get into a fistfight. I have no idea why, I really am a pacifist. Like, I wouldn't even fight back??? I think no one ever needs to hurt anyone else, because everyone is doing their best.

But, in that same vein, I really wanna get suckerpunched. One good time, to say I did it.

7. What is your favorite season?
Springtime is my very favorite season. Winter is so long and cold and sad and it gets me sick and snows me into places. Very sad. And then spring arrives!!! And things turn colors and birds come out and life is lovely once again! Bonus: spring thunderstorms. Glorious.

8. If you could have any animal as a pet, what would it be?
I would have a sloth. Sloths are cute. Sloths are precious. In the wild, sloths occasionally mistake their own arms for tree branches and end up falling to their tiny sloth deaths. That's a horrible factoid. They require love and protection, and I will provide it.

9. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
I've always kind of felt like I'd make a nice "Jay Gatsby," or perhaps "Holden McGroin." Never could choose between the two, though.

10. What movie makes you cry every single time you watch it, without fail?
Man, oh man, don't you dare make me watch What's Eating Gilbert Grape? I will cry. I do not cry prettily. I will sob incessantly. I will cry you an actual river. It's too much for me.

Now to hear from a beloved member who's been around the site for a couple years. Don't let the name fool you, it's TheBarbarian

1. What's your favorite book?
This is a complex question. My go to answer is usually "The Name of the Wind" by Patrick Rothfuss however I don't know if that is necessarily true. I guess it depends on what you mean by favorite if it's a single piece of near perfect art (to me) it would be "The Name of the Wind". However if it's something that has the most effect on me as a person it would probably be the Harry Potter series as those books definitely affected my early moral development on a deep personal level. Yet if were talking about something I return to read again and again when I'm feeling down then it would probably be "The Lies of Locke Lamora" or any of the books in the Dresden Files as those are always reads that make me happy. So yea those are my answers I guess.

2. If you could be any character from a movie, who would you be and why?
Probably one of the nameless student extras from Harry Potter. I would never want to be any of the golden trio or even an important side character but being one of the students from Hogwarts I could still do magic and live in the magical world without constantly having to fear for my life or having the whole world rely on me which would be too much pressure. Though if I still had to have all of my memories about the real world then I might choose some film whose world is set in the real world 70s or something and have myself buy some stock in Apple and Microsoft before they're big .

3. Shark diving, bungee jumping, or sky diving?
All three would be cool to do someday. But in the near future sky diving might be in the cards for me anyway so that I guess.

4. How did you meet your best friend?
My mom knew his mom and brought me along to their house one day. I brought along my favorite animal toys and shared them with him. Thus a 15 (and counting) year friendship was born.

5. If you were going to the movies alone, what movie would you go see?

I mostly go to see movies alone. Infact I very rarely go see movies with friends. I've always loved the opportunity to think about and develop opinions about the movie on my own before sharing those with anyone. Anyway a movie I super enjoyed seeing by myself was "The Witch" went to see it twice and the second time I took notes I was so ennured by it.

6. What is something you've always wanted to try, but have been too scared to?
I really don't have anything like this. I mean there are things I have not done yet but nothing I want to do someday am I necessarily afraid of. There are things that I don't want to do that I am afraid of like, I don't know touching snakes or something, but everything I really want to do I do. Fear is the mind killer after all.

7. What is your favorite season?
Autumn for the colors and whether. Summer for the memories. Winter for the art I make. Spring for the art I publish.

8. If you could have any animal as a pet, what would it be?
Ferret. I've always wanted one since I was small. Their super cool animals and so dam cute looking.

9. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
I would never change my name. I was named both for my great grandfather and the Viking explorer Erik the Red which I think is pretty cool already. However if I had to change my name to anything it would probably be something more palatable to English speaking audiences as that might help sell the books I hope to publish someday better. Even then I doubt I would ever do it.

10. What movie makes you cry every single time you watch it, without fail?
Nothing. I mean there are movies that make me sad but I have a hard time crying during them. Plus for me everytime I see a movie it loses some of it's emotional impact so that sort of consistency would be very rare for me. Still "Return of the Kings" ending makes me sad mostly every time as does the ending to the movie "Her". There is a scene in "Inside Out" that's pretty sad that I remember that I wanted to cry at but physically couldn't even though I tried.

Wait, what?! Another new member?! That's right, here is the up and coming, Nephele!

1. What's your favorite book?
I could never choose a single book. :-) I like Shakespeare, Agatha Christie, historical novels, and some fantasy novels (such as Eragon).

2. If you could be any character from a movie, who would you be and why?
If I could be any movie character, I would be The Little Mermaid, Ariel. I admire her amazing singing voice and determination to fulfill her dreams.

3. Shark diving, bungee jumping, or sky diving?
Sky diving, because the total freedom of just hurtling through the sky would be incredible. The view would be pretty spectacular as well.

4. How did you meet your best friend?
I met my best friend online, through a popular reading and writing site. We hit it off immediately and have been close friends ever since.

5. If you were going to the movies alone, what movie would you go see?
I would go see Captain America: Civil War, because I am a huge Captain America fan. I would go see that movie even with others.

6. What is something you've always wanted to try, but have been too scared to?
Falling completely in love with someone, without reservations.

7. What is your favorite season?
Autumn, because that is when my birthday is and I love all the leaves as they change color. In addition, I enjoy the cooler temperatures.

8. If you could have any animal as a pet, what would it be?
I would be boring and still say a dog. I have a toy poodle and she is the sweetest and most adorable thing ever. I wouldn't trade her for the world.

9. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
I would change my name to Nephele.

10. What movie makes you cry every single time you watch it, without fail?
This one is tricky. I'm not a crying person in general, except when I'm beyond upset about usually something personal. Fiction does not always affect me that strongly.

Time to visit an older member here at RPA, our favorite Cyber Knight- Holeypaladin!

1. What's your favorite book?
For a stand alone book, "Ready Player One" is good. As far as series go, "Dresden Files" is absolutely amazing. If you, the reader, haven't read Dresden Files yet... do it! Now!

2. If you could be any character from a movie, who would you be and why?
I guess I'm gonna go with Thor, because he's awesome and because he doesn't have trouble getting dates.

3. Shark diving, bungee jumping, or sky diving?
Haven't done any... but jumping out of an airplane sounds really fun. I'm not a good enough swimmer to swim with sharks, and bungee is basically sky diving lite.

4. How did you meet your best friend?
What best friend? When I meet one, I'll let you know

5. If you were going to the movies alone, what movie would you go see?
Probably the batman vs superman movie or something equally awesome.

6. What is something you've always wanted to try, but have been too scared to?
Asking a girl out on a date count?

7. What is your favorite season?
We don't have seasons where I live. So I guess Winter, since we don't have winter here and snow is cool except it doesn't snow here.

8. If you could have any animal as a pet, what would it be?
I want a caracal. Or a fennec. Or maybe a savannah cat. Google them if you're unfamiliar.

9. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
I'd leave it blank. That way I can go around saying "Hi, my name is ...." and be telling the truth.

10. What movie makes you cry every single time you watch it, without fail?
I don't remember the last time I cried at a movie. This question is hard. Real men aren't supposed to cry... right?

And last, but most certainly not least. The amazing, awesome, glorious... Price!

1. What's your favorite book?
Hmmm....I have so many! Hmmm...The Giver, followed closely by Swiss Family Robinson.

2. If you could be any character from a movie, who would you be and why?
Easy! Mace Windu! I get to be Samuel L Jackson AND have a purple lightsaber!

3. Shark diving, bungee jumping, or sky diving?
Bungee jumping! Preferably over a canyon.

4. How did you meet your best friend?
We met online through RPA!

5. If you were going to the movies alone, what movie would you go see?
If Deadpool is still playing, I would go see that. If not, Jungle Book or Zootopia.

6. What is something you've always wanted to try, but have been too scared to?
Bungee jumping!

7. What is your favorite season?
Baseball season!

8. If you could have any animal as a pet, what would it be?
A wolf!

9. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Michael

10. What movie makes you cry every single time you watch it, without fail?
Bridge to Terabithia

[G]

Unfortunately, there was too much cloud cover to read the signs this month, so in place of the horoscopes, we offer you this;

Here it is! The pixie's wonderful advice for all your advice-needing schtuff!

Important Note: I am not a professional in anything other than computers. So if anyone has issues that require a professional I suggest 911 or setting up an appointment with a doctor, counselor, or the love of your life. However, I am a lady so naturally that makes me right about everything.

On with the questions!

How do you handle the hurt of losing a friend? Not to death or anything, they just seemed to have slipped away from you.

Ah man. I think this is one of the worst feelings in the universe. Losing a friend feels a lot like having lost a part of you that you had given to someone else to begin with. You spend time with them, you stay up with them, you share problems with them, and so on. And then one day they seem to have just slipped away from you, right between your fingers as if you never would have noticed. The worst part of it is the wondering why they had left. And though you may dwell on that question, I suggest not for too long. It's never good to dwell too long on things of the past, especially if someone of the past left you. It hinders your capabilities to think of other things, as well as just moving on with your own life. So while it's okay to mourn and even feel hurt, I would only allot yourself a few days. Don't get bogged down. Because after all, some things just weren't meant to be! Relationships and friendships are a lot alike in that they come in out of your life: some were just lessons, others were meant to be permanent in your life as a blessing. So think of the slipping of your friend as just a lesson learned.

Also, if you start your time of the month in a public place what are some good ways to hide it?

Okay okay. As a lady I know this problem like no other. Oh my gosh. I have some embarrassing stories. Like one time I was wearing white shorts and bam. And then I was like "well fuck". Long story short I found a pair of black leggings in the truck of my car. BWAHAHA. But if you start your time of the month in a public place, I recommend dying on the spot. No? Not good enough? Okay, my bad.
I definitely recommend though:

1. If you have a long sleeved shirt on and something below it, take it off and wrap it around your waist.
2. Get into the nearest store and buy something to cover it. Ex. New clothes.
3. Use your backpack! Drop, drop, drop it low! To cover your behind!
4. Use your purse much like your backpack. Ba-bam!!!
5. Clasp your hands behind your back and act all innocent. Pretty obvious but whatever.

What is the best food to eat when you're craving something but you don't know what?

Actually there is science behind cravings! Such aaaaaaaaaas. Like if you're craving cheese you're probably actually just craving sodium or dairy. So if you are craving something but you don't know exactly what it is, I would totally hit up some water first. Chug a glass of water! And if you still have cravings, start hunting your kitchen or a store. I usually grab for the salty snacks first when I'm craving something but don't know what. Or the sugary snacks. If you're on a strict diet, I recommend peanut butter and celery. But seriously, craving something and not knowing what it is is really irritating. But a glass of water just might be what you're looking for.

[G]

(to be read from right to left)





Congrats to the winners of our easter egg hunt! Only two members successfully found them all;

Kicks and m139!
eds note: (it's been a long day so if you did PM me and I've forgotten please let me know! <3)





by Buttercup

How-To’s for the Basics!

This month, I thought I’d do something a little different. Instead of providing a recipe, I thought I would provide a few tips on how to get some basic stuff done in the kitchen!

Let’s get started-

How to Roast Peppers to Perfection







Roasting peppers is one of my favorite kitchen activities. When I have six or more bell peppers, in addition to a few other peppers (such as Jalapeno or Anaheim peppers) I love to take them to the BBQ pit. Who says a vegan BBQ can’t taste good?! It sure smells delicious, that’s for sure. First thing’s first- gotta get them ready!

You have the option of roasting them whole or in halves, and personally I prefer to roast them in halves to make things easy. Take the core out, de-seed it, and remove the white membrane. Then slice the peppers in half- this is universal for –any- pepper out there.

What to do from here? You can either use a blow torch (a bit more time consuming, though covers surface area easier and more consistently), the stovetop (if you’ve got a gas stove), or a BBQ pit. I like using the pit just because it’s less effort on my part and only involves turning them every so often.

What you want-

Ultimately, this is the one food that encourages you to burn. The skin that is. What you’re looking for is nice black, burnt skin that looks dry and a softened interior of the pepper. Basically at this point the interior would be the side without skin, and you can choose to roast that too- I do for added flavor.
Then, once you’ve got a majority of the skin charred (it doesn’t have to be the entire surface) you simply remove the skin with either your fingers or a butter knife. You don’t have to remove all the skin, just as much of it as you can get and you definitely want to remove the blackened skin.

Simple as that, and roasted bell peppers go lovely with anything- tacos, tomato sauce, mac n cheese (yes, I know I’m weird but it’s true!), and my favorite- salads! So instead of spending $2-$4 on a jar of roasted bell peppers with maybe two or three whole peppers in it, buy your own peppers and roast them yourselves! Trust me- it’s fun and appetizing all the same.

How to De-Seed and De-skin Tomatoes

Alright, I’m sure you can see where I’m going with this- tomato sauce. Yes, it’s easier to make than you think when you have the right ingredients on hand. Roasted peppers add a delicious smoky flavor to any sauce, especially tomato sauce. Preparing the tomatoes is easier than you might think, and there are so many things you can do with them- basically everything I listed with the peppers and then some! (Quit calling me weird for the mac n cheese thing! I even add Ranch to mine!) I prefer to work with Roma tomatoes as they’re smaller and I prefer the flavor. Smaller tomato= smaller core, and therefore less seeds to deal with.

Step One: Take a small knife, anything but a butter knife, and make a little X in the bottom of the tomato where the dot holds it together. Slit the skin halfway up to the sides of the tomato and drop in a pot of boiling water. Do this with about 20 Roma tomatoes to get a good amount of tomatoes for sauce.

Step Two:

Let boil until you see the skins peeling off. You don’t want to cook the tomatoes, but when you see the skins peeling off it’s a good indication they’re ready to come out. I use a slotted spoon (a large one) to fish them out, or a strainer depending on the size of the strainer and the size of the pot. Place them in a large bowl of ice water to stop the cooking process and to cool them down. See how the tomatoes are in the picture? Those aren't quite ready yet, but you can see how the skin is peeling off.

Step Three: Peel the skins off and discard. Take a paring knife and cut the core out. Don’t be afraid to get messy, because it will- take as many of the seeds out as you can, then rinse it to get anymore seeds out.

Step Four: What you do from here is up to you. If you’re using them for a salad, dice them. If you’re using them for sauce- cut them into small pieces. It’s up to you. You can also freeze these babies for future use.

How to Boil an Egg

I know a lot of people can struggle with this. From time to time, even I’ll get a little gray in the center of mine- but alas! That’s okay. The egg is still edible and delicious.

It’s really as easy as choosing however many eggs you want, placing them into a pot filled with water (tip- the hotter the water is, the sooner it’ll boil!), setting the timer for fifteen minutes and shazzam. Take them out, let them cool, tap the larger end against a hard surface and peel. Season as needed or just slice and dice for a salad. I keep mentioning salad, don’t I? >.>

Alright, that’s it for this round of kitchen basics! Hopefully I’ll have a real recipe for you all later, we’ll see

[Kris]

[Crazywolf]

As usual some interesting stuff. I look forward to the next one.