Well, that's all she wrote for 2016, folks! It's been touted as a terrible year, and while we have had some lows, I think we can all agree that at least here on RPA, it's been a year of highs as well! The Tribune staff would like to dedicate this issue to a wander through the highlights of the last year.
But first! We'd like to wish you a wonderful holiday - Merry Christmas - Happy Hannukah - Joyous Kwanzaa - however you celebrate, we hope you had a lovely time with friends and family, and are feeling as pumped as we are for another year of awesome on RPA! And to start us off in the holiday spirit, here's the featured writing piece - written by Kris
for our 12 days of RPA
12 Days of RPA
The clock clicked with horrible beating sound, each heralds the coming hour of darkness. It was terrible. More of the upcoming, the idea of what was coming and waiting for it was unbearable. The seconds were minutes and moments and hours. It couldn't have been prolonged much longer. Soon. Soon it was happening as the darkness was approaching. Beads of sweat pour down my nape with anticipation of the coming horror that was lurking 2 minutes to seven. I felt my body shivering as the hour of encounter was drawing nearer and nearer. Part of me wanted to escape, but I knew deep inside it was futile, as I knew there was no getting away.
Not from her.
At least the door opened.
It was G, "DEADLINE!", she said and I screamed in horror.
There was an action melody out of nowhere and I found myself jumping from my chair as I flipped up the office. It's been in here, in the possessions of the RPA admins for ages, but none knew it as best as myself or Gabe.
As G approach, holding so many papers and choirs I quickly sneaked near a wall and climbed up, watching the painting of old admins, that have been here since the departure from the land of Iwaku many years ago. There was a bottle of rum at the upper floor, a token from a misdeed that caused one of the old admins to changed his user name to WTTR.
I ran quickly to the door and locked myself in a room, arming myself, "YOU ARE NOT MAKING ME WORK G!", I screamed.
"But Kris", called G in her childish voice. I peeked only a little to see that her form changed into that of a young girl, "What is it?", I asked from behind the door.
G climbed the stairs, "You don't understand, this time, we have get the tribune ready on time!".
Curious I opened the door a little, watching the form of Tiny G holding into a new musical tool, "Why?", I asked.
She handed to me a small letter that smelled like roses. I moved my eyes over the lines carefully, "A love letter?", I asked slowly, "But from who?"
"I don't know! But he sounds really cute!".
I read the letter again, "We must finish in time, and only then he shall appear?"
This sure sounded serious. But knowing how our everyday life is going to be, we knew there was no way to finish the tribune on time and G may lost a very important romantic partner.
Walking back and forth in the room as G held the letter close to her heart I was storming ideas. And then it hit me. I grabbed her hand as we both reach for the basement. This place was huge, no wonder I loved this office so much.
"This place looks creepy", she said as she gazed around.
"A lot of lost artifacts are ended up being here!", I said, and after searching for few minutes I called out, "There it is". It was a small machine, a very very old smart phone.
"What is that?", she asked, "And how can this help us?"
"Oh! this is a time machine, we can use it to go to the future and get the finish product and go back in time and use it!".
"Kris this is great! you are so smart!"
"I know!", I said with a smile.
I felt the heat striking my nape and the sweat running down my shirt. The situation was… rather dreadful.
"This was a bad idea!", G said to me with anger.
We both struggle with our ties as the rope hanged around our necks. We were on a small stage in front of a crowd, everyone wearing strange cloths. We seemed to have hit some kind of a western setting, and before us was a man with a strange star. Probably the sheriff.
"It was not a bad idea, but it seems we were pushed too far in time and space", I said.
"Any last words?", asked the man, resting his hands on his belt.
"We shot no deputy!", I screamed.
He hit the switch and felt ourselves fall, as the rope tighten around our necks.
I felt the air departing my body. The music became oh so dramatic. I never thought it will be this cheesy to die. And just as the crowd looked at us with hatred in their eyes, and as much as we kept saying that we know nothing and we didn't do anything, we were still forced into the gallows.
We cried and tried to free ourselves, and as I struggled I felt something dropped from my pocket pants down on the ground. I heard weird clicking sound and it was then that my legs gave in.
Just before the rope snapped mine and G's snake a flash of light surrounded us and we both were gone from the scene. Luckily the thing that fall was the time machine and it clicked to transfer us from there.
The only question was...
"Kris!", asked G, "You okay?"
I barely got up my head when I realized how hurt it was. Time traveling wasn't much fun, "Where are we?"
We both looked up and saw a lot of electrical cords and broken islands floating in space.
"You don't think we are in...?", G started to ask.
"I fear we may be indeed", I answered grimly.
The server move. We moved back in time right back to when we transformed the server to VB 4. So much bodies and lost posts. The office was ruined, but the foundations were still there.
"Dreadful!", I said, "And we better get out of here, because--- oh no!".
Voices coming around us in the form of typhoon. The move as began, and as I dread, if we stayed here much longer, it meant that we will be lost in it forever.
"Just use the time machine!", G cried as we started to run.
"I can't, it was left behind. It only sent us here as it broke to pieces back in the old western world, which I believe was the old downtown area".
"Damn it! Who can save us then!"
"I looked ahead, maybe, maybe this white knight?", I asked pointed ahead.
For a moment there was a image of a white knight but it was quickly replaced with metalic looking warrior riding on a orc.
"IMP!", we both cried.
"Yo!", he said while waving his long hair.
"Get us out of here!", we screamed.
"Ah, you people don't understand the beauty of destruction."
"If we stay here longer, you till will disappear", I said.
He seemed to be lost for a moment in his thoughts, "Good point". He took out a big axe and started to hit something.
We both looked in wonder.
"What are you doing?", G asked. She turned around only to see the tornado getting closer and closer, "OMG! WE NEED TO RUN!".
"Just a little bit more", he hit the axe with more might and boom- There was a crack in the sky, "Perfect!", he whistled to his orc who grabbed both me and G and as Imp jumped into the hole, the orc followed. The crack in the sky closed after, leaving the typhoon behind to run its havoc.
"There they are!", cried the sheriff.
"Oh no!", said G as the orc slowly put her down, "We are back here!".
"Here?", asked Imp, and both him and orc scratched their heads (the orc had no idea why though, he just copied his master).
"Yeah, it all started with us wanting to get the tribune on time, but we ended up following here with the old time machine created by Gabe, and now we are blamed for a murder".
The sheriff nodded, "Of course it has to be you!".
"Why?", asked Imp.
"Because... because...", the sheriff seems lost for words. He then run off crying to a near and fancy house.
"What was that all about?", asked G as she laughed.
The town people looked confused.
"There, there", came a familiar voice and out of the house stepped out Karma, wearing a tight and sexy cowgirl outfit, "Why are you crying my little sexy sheriff", she petted his head as she leaned him against her very exposed chest.
"Karma?", we all asked surprised, "What are you doing here?"
"Well", Karma said slowly, "I was finding myself somewhere lost in the sci-fi section of RPA, and without knowing what's happening, I happen to get into a room with a lot of strange machines!".
"How did you get there?", I asked.
"I dunno, I just followed the signs. I don't even remember why".
"Go on", said Imp.
Karma nodded, "The next thing I did was pressing some buttons because somehow the door closed behind me"
"And you weren't bothered by it?!", I asked, shocked.
"Well.. no... Should I have?", Karma said with horror upon her face.
"No, no", I said sarcastically, "Go on, please".
"The next thing that happened", Karma said, "A portal opened, I recognized the place right away. Or at least I thought I did! It looked like downtown... but so much different... like it was some years back!".
"And you decided to jump in?", Imp asked, somewhat excited about finding new discovery.
"Well, no", Karma said slowly, "Someone pushed me in"
"And so!", Karma described as she sobbed, and everyone shed a tear, "I fall down, down the rabbit hole, and soon ended up in old downtown. The men took pity of me and soon made me their mayor".
"How does that even work?", I asked.
"I dunno.. but they were so hot! I couldn't say no!".
"Okay guys, focus, focus, we are losing it here!", G said.
"What do you mean?", Imp asked.
I clapped my hands; "Of course", I passed the mysterious letter that G got, "So you see, in order for G to meet her lover".
"We gotta finish the tribune in time!", Karma said excited, "Well, I go and get kicks and work on graphics right away!"
Imp smiled, "Well the jokes ain't going to be written by themselves, I'll go grab Nazzy!", Imp pushed up his pants and started working as well.
"I'll contact the group. TheBarbarian, Denraven, Notty and Dnafein. Together with my drawing, we can get one epic Tribune just before the holidays!", I said.
G seemed pleased
And so we worked, and worked. And just before the deadline (27/12) we had the issue ready and printed.
Excited everyone raised a glass and they all seemed pleased.
"So", I said slowly, "Now all we have to do is wait for the man to show up".
"He won't come!", G said and lowered her gaze.
"Oh, please, of course he will come, what man would pass a chance with you!", said Kicks.
"He won't come", G said with a low voice and we all looked at her with sadness in our eyes.
"Why?", Imp asked.
"Because…", G started to speak.
"Because…", G said slowly with a grin on her lips, "I faked it all!".
Everyone gasped in horror. I was unable to react. My worst nightmare was coming true. I felt my reality shifting further and further from me. She used us, knowing each and everyone one of our weaknesses.
By creating the letter G made a false sense of heroism in me, and the whole romantic lead was getting me hooked, as she planned. Knowing that Imp was an explorer, she let him know about the rift in time, and maybe pushed him into the zone, along with Karma… who I guessed she didn't work that hard to get her lost, but enough to keep her stay in a city full of sexy cowboys and Christmas parody songs about noodles.
But why, why?
I looked in horror at the time.
DEADLINE *thunder sound effect*
She got us wrapped on her little finger to get the tribune done in time. How wicked of her. I felt my power of motivation sleeping away from me as I crouched on the ground defeated by the admin G.
And once the drama and horror was gone, because I kept true to the theme so far, I can only say that once the Tribune was out, we all got to relax and enjoy the holiday while appreciating what we were giving to RPA for the holidays. It was then that we all raised a glass and wished each other a Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukah and good year while sitting beside a tree made of paper (old tribune articles) lighting the beautiful candles of the Menorah with oil.