[M] What Once Was Lost [Namingtoohard & Ashen]

[Ashen]

The way Natalie spoke, the way she displayed her work without arrogant pride nor undeserved modesty, made Luuk appreciate her as an artist even more. She was just honest, a simple woman with amazing talent trying to make a living, and Luuk found himself hanging on her words. He wanted to know more about her parents, about what kind of artists they were, but mostly he wanted to learn more about Natalie, about a woman he knew little about, but a woman who continued to surprise him every time he spoke to her.

And then came her question. Luuk met her eye, an excited sparkle behind his own. "Is that a serious question?" he asked. He motioned towards the table, than to the vase in her hands. "If I can walk out of here with any sort of clue as to how you make things look so beautiful, I'll be happy. Do you mind if I take notes?" He reached into his backpack for a notebook and pen. He was already scratching away at the paper when he spoke again. "I don't mind what you work on. That is, you don't have to finish it today. If there's anything you've been working on already, or some new project you want to start. If you wouldn't mind, I'd love to come back and watch the whole process, if it takes longer than today." He looked up at her again, knowing he was being overeager, but not seeing irritation in Natalie's eyes. "If that's alright?" he added a bit sheepishly, not wanting to offend her, but wanting to watch whatever part of her job she was willing to show.

He noticed how she hadn't answered some of his questions, how she didn't tell him what tools she worked. He figured he would see for himself soon enough, but a quick survey around the room left him clueless. Wasn't that unusual? Wouldn't an artist display her tools, or was Natalie more concerned about keeping her home looking clean for her guest? Luuk wished she hadn't gone through the trouble; a clean house was a house not easy to study. He shook his head, trying to not think of Natalie's home as a thing to be studied. He glanced down at his pad again, at the words he'd written in his notebook: Natalie's art, passion, passed through family, tools--? Was this as close as Luuk would get to having a parent teach him a skill passed down through generations? He scoffed at the idea; Natalie was no mother, was just a friend, and he was getting too far ahead of himself. He looked back at her, smiling. "I'd be delighted to watch, and maybe even help? Don't let me get in the way though."

[Namingtoohard]

"Oh, go ahead and take all the notes you like"

Despite the fact that Luuk hadn't even bothered to wait for an answer, Natalie answered his question with a dismissive wave. Inwardly, however, she found herself amused by the prospect. Just how well would he manage to maintain his composure when she showed him the truth of her craft, and revealed just how she really worked? Would he still be able to think of notes then, or would that notion be thrown entirely out the window in the face of what she was about to show him? Either way, they were about to find out.

"I'm afraid that I only prepared for something small today, but if you're interested enough to come back then maybe we can try something a little more ambitious" Natalie answered. Whilst she spoke, she busied herself rummaging about in the kitchen for a moment, before returning with several objects bundled together in her arms. She waddled over to the table, before setting them out one by one. First came an old ceramic mug, white in colour, with a sizeable chip near the rim. Next came a simple folded napkin, accompanied by both a handful of brushes of different sizes and a jar of what looked to be ink. When everything was arranged to her satisfaction, she helped herself to a seat.

Natalie's movements held an air of ceremony as she removed the lid from the jar, and then picked up her brush. Normally she would have spent several moments examining her object before attempting any sort of magecraft, but this one was relatively simple, and she had prepared in advance to avoid making Luuk wait. Still, as she dipped the brush into the ink, she realised how odd this must look to her guest. Even if he knew little about restoration, bare logic was probably enough to tell him that this wasn't exactly a traditional way to start.

"I like to make sure my hands are steady before I really get started. Its become a tradition of sorts. Indulge me for a moment" she offered. It was true, technically, even if not in the way that her words seemed to imply. Even so, it probably mattered little. She only needed to make it through the next few moments, and then everything would become clear.

She started by inking an open circle on the inside of her palm, as close to a perfect as she could make it. Next came a few simple lines, all bisecting each other at various points. To any other person - Luuk included, if he cared enough to step around behind to try and watch exactly what she was doing - they likely seemed meaningless. Irrelevant, if not outright erratic. To Natalie, however, they meant a great deal. More than simple method, there was a measure of intent to her madness. She'd pause only once during the rather short process to glance up at Luuk again, a simple question slipping from her lips.

"What's your favourite colour, Luuk?"

When Luuk spoke his answer, Natalie would finish off her little art project with one final flick of her wrist, before setting the brush down on the napkin she had prepared. She'd clean it of in just a moment, but for now she didn't want to risk smearing or otherwise ruining the strange ink piece she had just finished drawing on her own hand. She turned her attention back to her guest good and proper now, smiling cheerfully.

"Alright, I'm ready. Now watch closely"

Without any further delay, Natalie reached out and picked up the mug she had presented earlier, holding it so that her palm was pressed flat against the side of the thing. For a moment it would seem as if nothing were happening, before the mug slowly began to change. Black started creeping into its surface, as if the ink from Natalie's palm were bleeding into the mug's ceramic surface somehow. Once it had spread to cover the entire thing, the black would begin to fade, leaving a brilliant silver in its wake. What's more, the chips and cracks that had been visible earlier seemed to have vanished altogether. There were none of the usual marks of repair, without even the slightest cracks visible. It was almost as if the chip had never existed in the first place.

Without any sort of preamble or fanfare, Natalie set the mug down between them. Throughout the entire thing she fought to keep her expression neutral, devoid of any amusement or giddy joy that might suggest she was playing some sort of trick or practical joke on him. Instead, she kept her attention focused on Luuk, watching for any sort of reaction. This would be the telling moment. When she would find out if her gamble had been successful, or she had made some sort of terrible mistake by inviting him here like this.

[Ashen]

Luuk was silent as Natalie retrieved her supplies, absently writing in his notebook. She returned with a chipped mug and... paintbrushes? Luuk looked them over quizzically, but said nothing. He jotted down the differences in the brushes, the color of the paint. Was she intending to paint over the chip? But the mug was white. The paint--was it ink?--was dark. He looked to Natalie, questions burning behind his eyes, but he said nothing. He told himself to not interrupt her work, to watch and learn, but this wasn't making much sense.

Then, she grabbed a brush, and she dipped it in the paint. Luuk looked around at her supplies, searching for some piece of ceramic he must have missed before. Was the paint not paint at all, but glue? That might explain things, but what was she gluing? There were only the brushes here, and the mug, and a napkin. Luuk's pen rested lazily in his hand, his mind too active to take any notes. He listened to her explain, still just as confused. Steady her hand? But then she started painting herself, onto her hand. Bewildered, Luuk watched her, trying to work through what she was doing. Was she just toying with him? Had she invited him to her home just to make a fool of him? He looked to her eyes, to the concentration in her face. It didn't make any sense. He looked back down, at his notebook, and started writing again. Tools -- paintbrushes, ink?, napkin. Paint onto palm for practice? As he looked at his notes, he just grew more confused.

And then her question. "What?" Luuk responded, now more convinced she was just messing with him. "Silver?" he mumbled, confused at its relevance. She set the brush down, and finally she was ready to start. Was she not going to use the brush? Then what was she using? She picked up the mug and just held it, and Luuk was sure she was joking now. Nothing was happening. Luuk was just about to call her out, to ask her why she'd bring him here if she was just going to get his hopes up, but then he noticed it. The paint Natalie had used on her palm crept across the mug, covering every spot and filling in the cracks and chip all on its own. Luuk stared in awe at the performance, his mouth aimlessly opening and closing as if to ask questions his lips could not form. He looked to Natalie, questioning, then looked back to the mug. Then, the ink turned silver, leaving the mug glimmering, spotless, perfect.

In another moment, Natalie placed the mug down. She was acting natural, as if this were something she'd expected to happen. Luuk looked to her hand, to her eyes, searching for any clue, any indication that this was even half as wild as he thought it to be. The pen and notebook fell from Luuk's grasp to the floor, forgotten. He grabbed for the mug before he could think otherwise. He rubbed his hands over the mug, expecting the paint to come off or even smudge, but it was as if the mug wasn't painted at all. The chip had miraculously fixed itself, and Luuk felt at it, wondering if he'd imagined it all along. The mug was flawless, brand new. Luuk stared into the mug, expecting something to happen, but nothing did. Finally, he looked back to Natalie, speaking for the first time since she had begun her craft: "What?"

He motioned towards the mug, trying to form words but tripping over his thoughts. "I don't, you, uh--" He stammered, trying to voice his confusion. "How did you--?" he asked. "I mean, the ink, what is that, and how did you--the chip? The cracks? Is it glue? Is it cement? It's too shiny for cement. How did you--?" He mumbled more incomplete questions before finally setting the mug down again. Looking back at Natalie, he just said, "Huh?"

[Namingtoohard]

Natalie tried her hardest to remain stoic throughout Luuk's understandably surprised reaction, but it seemed that she were fighting a losing battle. Despite her best efforts, the corners of her mouth twitched upwards into something resembling a smile. There was joy in that expression, yes. It went beyond the simple amusement of someone who had tricked a friend, however. There was pride there, too, and perhaps even a hint of excitement. It had been years since she had shared this with someone. Since she had been able to share it with anyone. It felt like a great weight had been lifted off her chest, to finally share her knowledge after all this time.

Rather predictably, Luuk responded with his usual barrage of questions, even if they were a little more confused this time. It seemed that some vestige of his curiosity remained, even when hewas unable to rationalise what he had seen. As per usual, Natalie waited throughout before attempting to answer any of them. In the meantime, she set about using the rag she had selected earlier to clean off her brush, before attempting to wipe away the faded and smeared ink stains that lingered on the inside of her palm. The chances of someone seeing them and questioning her about it was relatively slim, but it was better to avoid taking chances, and they could interfere with future magic if left unattended to, with potentially disastrous results. When she was done, she finally set everything down and folded her hands together on the table in front of her, before turning her attention to Luuk good and proper.

"You wanted to know how I do my work, and now you've seen it for yourself. I call it restoration for the purposes of supporting myself, but you'd probably call it magic" she answered, giving him a wan smile. "I would have told you earlier, but I sincerely doubt you would have believed me, and its not really the sort of thing one shows off in public." She knew better than anyone else just how bad of an idea that was. Mostly because she was the only one who remembered what happened the last time magic became public knowledge.

"Both of your parents were able to do, before they were killed. That was how we originally came to know each other, all those years ago. I dare say that you could too, if you so wished. The ability is usually hereditary, though its not a sure thing. It tends to skip a generation every now and then. Either way, I'd prefer if you kept this to yourself.

Natalie tried to keep her tone casual, but not with total success. There was no denying her excitement, especially considering the possibilities that her words suggested. She didn't notice the slipup that she had made, with the bulk of her focus on how Luuk might react to this news. Learning more seemed like a given, considering his inquisitive nature, but she wouldn't feel totally content until she heard his answer directly.

[Ashen]

There was a smug satisfaction in Natalie's eyes while Luuk stumbled over his words and thoughts, and he couldn't make sense of that, either. It seemed she had invited him here with the sole purpose of making a fool of him, but that wasn't nearly as important to him as what he'd just witnessed. He wanted to know how this magic worked, how he could recreate it later, how she made it seem so flawless.

But then Natalie mentioned one little thing that turned Luuk's jittery eyes, now perfectly focused, to her. "What?" he repeated, now more incredulous. His parents had been able to do this, too? His parents were wizards? Was that what he could call them? He shook his head. This wasn't a video game; magic wasn't real. He turned back down to the mug again. It was the only explanation that made any sense, and he couldn't deny that. He bit his lip, trying to form any words that would lead him to more information, more of an understanding of this confusing phenomenon. But Natalie went on, as if knowing he would not be able to speak. "I dare say that you could too," she said, and suddenly Luuk felt that everything he'd learned about himself since meeting Natalie had been wrong.

A boy with amnesia, without parents, a boy descended from magic-making people; could that have been real? Luuk's gaze fell as he tried to work through his past decade. Had the magic been responsible for his lack of memories before ten? And his parents, had they gone because--wait. "Hold on," he said, bringing his eyes back to Natalie. "Before they were killed?"

She'd slipped it in there, that small detail about his parents. He'd known they were dead, but killed? "Why would anyone kill them?" His voice was quiet, childlike. "What... what did they do? Am... Am I in danger, too?" He looked to his hands, the hands of a man used to writing too many essays, playing too many video games. What else were these hands capable of? He looked to the mug, wondering if he could do something similar. Of course not; he would have figured it out by now. ...Right?

"How... How do I... try?"

[Namingtoohard]

Natalie was so excited by the prospect of having someone to share her secret with that she didn’t realise her mistake until it was too late, and Luuk began to question the exact fate of his parents. Her smile faded as the realisation hit her, smothering her joy like a wave.

Her first instinct was to play it off and try and explain that she had simply been referring to the other driver, but Natalie stopped herself before the words could slip past her lips. She’d spent so much time lying to people, Luuk included, just to get to this point. He deserved a little bit of truth now. Besides, if learning about this was going to put him in danger, then it seemed only right that he know before making his decision.

“The…official story is what I told you before. As far as public record is concerned, the two of them did die in a car accident together” Natalie started, sounding infinitely more hesitant than she had before. This was hardly an easy topic to discuss at the best of times, even for her, and she’d had years to try and process it. “There was a time when our magic was public knowledge. A group of humans turned against us, and started killing practitioners almost indiscriminately. I suspect your parents were caught in the worst of it, and the car crash was a story created to cover up the death of public figures”

Natalie’s voice was quiet as she spoke, barely more than a whisper. This retelling was an incredibly watered-down version of events, but even so, it took just about all Natalie’s control to keep herself calm. Given how hard it had been for Luuk to find out his parents were dead in the first place, she doubted he would take to this news any better. Still, she pushed onwards.

“So, perhaps you can understand why I’ve had to be so…secretive. If there are any other practitioners out there, then they’re still in hiding. As far as I’m aware, I’m the last person actively practicing magic.”

It was at about this point that Natalie realised she had started fidgeting with her tools, and she forced herself to be still, folding her hands together on the table in front of her.

“If you want to learn, then I’m more than willing to teach you. Still, if you agree, then you’ll be accepting similar risks. If you end up getting discovered, it could very well mean deaths for us both.” Natalie added, her gaze fixated on Luuk’s face. She waited a few moments for her words to sink in, before finally continuing. “If you want to forget about this whole thing, I won’t judge you for it. But if you still want to try, then all you need to do is paint a circle onto your hand, and press it into the mug. If you have the ability, we should see the same colour-bleeding effect as before, though it won’t actually change anything.”

With her explanation complete and her conscious satisfied, Natalie pushed the ink pot and brush towards Luuk’s half of the table, enough so that they were well within his reach, before withdrawing her hands. She had said her piece, and now there was nothing for her to do but wait and see what Luuk’s decision would be.

[Ashen]

Luuk was silent as Natalie explained what she'd said, paying attention to everything at once. Her demeanor had changed, as if he wasn't supposed to ask the question he obviously had to ask. Was it such a touchy subject for her? Natalie had known his parents after all; was she still sore about the loss of her friends? Luuk couldn't know the loss she felt, and perhaps he was poking where he shouldn't have been. But he had to know, even if it hurt her, even if it hurt him; he had to know what had happened to the parents he was only just meeting, years after their death.

When she had finished speaking, Luuk remained silent. Humans had turned against his parents... Did that make them not human? Was he human? His gaze dropped to his hands once more, as if some light, some spark would take hold in them, showing him all that did not make sense. His parents were murdered by people who wanted to eradicate magic from the world, who wanted to kill him, too. Did Natalie know where those humans were? Did she live every day in fear? He met her eye again, trying to see the words she wasn't saying. Suddenly, the chatterbox had nothing to say, too lost in his whirring, nonsensical thoughts. He couldn't understand any of this, but suddenly he knew there was a new responsibility on his shoulders, a responsibility to protect himself, and Natalie too.

She spoke again, this time explaining to him how the ability dormant within him should work. He swallowed hard, caught somewhere between disbelief and excitement, shock and horror. "O-oh," he mumbled, watching her push the tools of this craft closer towards him. Luuk hesitated. A part of him wanted to still believe this was a joke, that any second now confetti would fall from the ceiling and Natalie would yell something like, "Fooled ya!" before reality came crashing back down. But a bigger part of him wanted to try, wanted to connect with his parents in this simple but unexplainable way. He picked up the paintbrush, light and foreign in his hand. He juggled it between his right and left, wondering if he should use his dominant hand or the hand Natalie had used, but ultimately deciding it did not matter. He dipped the paintbrush in the ink, watching the thick black liquid drip from the bristles and back into the pot. Was he really about to try this...?

He was too logical for this. Luuk prepared to set the brush down, ready to turn on Natalie. How dare she toy with him about his parents, play with his emotions like this. But a part of him stayed his hand, begged him to continue. Despite his better judgment, he raised the paintbrush to his hand and drew a circle, shaky and sloppy. He then picked up the mug and looked to Natalie, as if asking what he should do next.

Luuk couldn't fathom how much he was taking on. He could be killed for this, he and Natalie both, and the truth of that shook him to his very core. But there was a boyish excitement that remained adamant, a fascination with the occult, a need to know everything about his parents that was humanly possible. If the threat of death came with that, so be it. If he had to fight for the right to survive in a world his parents could not, he didn't know that he was ready for that, but he would die trying to find out.

[Namingtoohard]

To Natalie’s ears, the silence that followed her little speech was almost deafening. The air felt pregnant with tension, both heavy and suffocating, and she spent the entire time turning her own words over in her mind. Could she have explained things in a more logical order? Could she have worded things in a more cohesive way? Her thoughts were a whirling maelstrom of doubts and hindsight, all largely pointless and irrelevant now that her moment had passed.

A part of her wanted to start chatting again. To try and prompt Luuk towards an answer, whether it be a yes or a no. Natalie did her best to suppress the urge, however, fighting to keep her hands still and her expression neutral. She had just dumped a great deal of information on him at once – a great deal of it likely very shocking, if not outright confronting. Confirmation that his parents were dead had already seemed rough on Luuk, and now here she was, suggesting that they had been deliberately murdered. No, she owed him the chance to digest all this and make his own decision, despite how badly her anxiety might be urging her to action.

Her shoulders dropped slightly as Luuk finally set about painting a circle on the palm of his hand – a little bit of tension flooding out of her now that his decision was supposedly made. She would gesture for him to press the circle against the side of the mug, cupping it so that the entire thing was in contact with the ceramic surface. That was it, really – there were no mystic incantations to mutter, spirits to invoke, or anything else of the sort. Now they simply watched, and waited to see if the spell would take.

Provided that her intuition proved correct, and the paint began to bleed into the side of the mug, Natalie would let out a shaky breath. One that she hadn’t even realised she had been holding. With her suspicions confirmed and Luuk supposedly okay with the responsibility he was accepting, she could finally relax a little. All the secrecy, all her work, was finally coming to fruition.

“Well. I suppose that’s it, then. You’re really one of us” Natalie offered, leaning back in her chair. She hadn’t realised just how nervous she had been about the possibility of him walking away until now, when that burden had finally been lifted.

“It feels good to finally have someone I can discuss this sort of thing with. Its been years since I've met anyone who can do the same thing that I can. Even if they only just found out themselves” she added, smiling freely. After a second, it occurred to Natalie that she was probably oversharing a little. She hastily cleared her throat, before quickly trying to push past it with a matter that was probably a little more immediately relevant.

“In any case, I can start teaching you the basics right away, if you would like. But if you’d prefer a little more time to let everything sink in, then I don’t mind waiting. We can always keep today casual, if you’d prefer” she offered, doing her best to sound considerate. Whether or not it was working, however, was another issue entirely.

[Namingtoohard]

Double post. Pls ignore

[Ashen]

Luuk continued to do as he was told, following Natalie's gestures and waiting to see if anything had happened. He was still for several moments, mug in hand, wondering if he was supposed to feel anything. When he didn't, he shifted uncomfortably, as if to tell her it hadn't worked, that he wasn't worthy. Luuk was about to set the mug down when he saw it, the ink gone from his hand, fading into the ceramic Natalie had already colored. He stared hard at his hand, half-wondering if he had written anything at all. He looked back to Natalie blankly, wondering if that was it, if it was over, if he really was one of them.

His thoughts were too mush to make sense of. Natalie's words weren't helping, more information in an already full brain. He hesitated, trying to form the proper questions, but he didn't even know what he wanted to know. She hadn't known another mage in years? Just how rare were they? What would this mean for their future? But he didn't know how to ask any of them, questions fallen like ice, shattering before they passed his lips. "I'm... not sure I can handle the basics right now," he admitted. He looked to the notebook he'd had, the notebook that could not contain what he'd just witnessed, experienced. How could he take notes on what science could not describe?

Luuk looked again to the mug, and then to the ink. "It's just like," he started, but his question fizzled on his tongue. He shook his head, trying to dismiss his incomplete thoughts, but they came back ferociously, demanding answers. Luuk stood suddenly, his chair nearly falling with his abrupt force. "I need time," he said. "This doesn't make sense, it's not real. I mean, it's real. I just. I'm..." Unable to speak, he willed his lips shut. "I sound like an idiot," he announced, then bit his tongue. "Are there sources on this? Can I research it?" But he assumed there wouldn't be, and he waved off his questions before Natalie could answer them. "Never mind," he mumbled. Defeated, he threw his notebook back into his backpack and sighed. What a day.

In his backpack, he remembered, was his history project. He had finished it and wanted to show Natalie, but in light of everything that had occurred, he felt that he was no longer able. With all this new information, he realized now that it was incomplete. How could he write a history paper about his lineage and leave out the fact that they were capable of wonders such that the current world didn't know? Would Dr. V fail him for fabricating such strange tales, or would the tired professor, for some reason that defies logic, believe him in all this madness?

Luuk tucked the project back into its folder. He couldn't show Natalie now, not with the holes now littering his paper. He would fix it, tonight, and bring it back to her tomorrow. "Are you doing anything tomorrow?" he asked. "I want to learn more--I do. I need some time to think, and to write, you know? I... I need some time alone." He motioned to his hands. "With all this."