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Thread: [M] What Once Was Lost [Namingtoohard & Ashen]

  1. #111
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    With no better ideas, it wasn’t long before the two of them decided to just head to another motel for the time being. The second trip passed in similar fashion to the first. The whir of the ticket machines and platform safety announcements. The clanking and rumbling of train carriages, and the murmur of gentle conversation. Subtle glances at strangers and the shuffling of feet. The conductor’s voice, scrambled beyond comprehension by terrible speakers, and the screech of breaks. Anxiety, tension, awkwardness and fear. Natalie could only pray that neither of them had cause to get used to these trips any time soon. That they came up with a solution sometime soon.

    Checking in at the motel went much more smoothly this time, now that Natalie had access to her own savings again. The proceedings felt like a formality, almost, and it wasn’t long before Natalie and Luuk slipped into their room, keys in hand. Their new accommodations felt depressingly similar to the previous ones. Oh, the styles were different, certainly, but that was about all that had changed. The layout was in that same, familiar pattern that all bottom-rung motels seemed to share. Natalie took one glance around the room and immediately suspected that she knew exactly where everything was kept, even without looking. Still, there was nothing to be done about it. She dumped her bag, dug out a marker, and quickly set about helping Luuk fortify their room, in much the same manner as before.

    Once they had finished preparing, Natalie disappeared into the bathroom for a brief moment, just to wash the ink off her hands. Not one to remain idle for long, she set about unpacking almost immediately after she returned. At least, until Luuk broke his uncharacteristic silence, and asked his next question. She froze, a folded jacket still cupped in her hands. She stayed silent, her gaze distant, as Luuk continued to speak, and she considered how best to respond.

    She absolutely despised the idea of their magic turned towards such dark purposes. That this force they commanded, so often used for creation and rebirth, might instead be twisted towards destruction and death. Such spells did exist, of course- she had used one herself recently, to get them out of trouble when they were attacked at her old apartment. Even so, she was loathe to share them with her student. And yet, Luuk’s request wasn’t entirely unreasonable, considering their current circumstances. If such a spell could protect him, help keep him safe, then…well, maybe teaching them to him was another thing she owed him. Another step towards redemption. No matter how it hurt her.

    As he pondered her options, Natalie’s mind inevitably drifted towards the gun. Metal forged by more traditional means, but with the same deadly purpose. A method of defense that wasn’t a perversion of their art. It was tucked away into the bottom of her bag, with the magazine removed and the safety on. It would be a simple thing, to take it out and hand it over. Perhaps she could convince him that was enough. But…no. No. She had seen the way Luuk had reacted to it before, and such a weapon was terrible enough in its own right.

    When she had decided on her answer, Natalie slowly set down the jacket she was holding, before turning to face Luuk properly. She fought hard to keep her expression neutral, her tone casual. Anything to convince him – and herself – that this was just another lesson, the same as any other.

    “Our magic is too situational for one or two spells to provide you with all the solutions you could want. But…I can give you the pieces. So that you can try and cobble something together yourself, should the need arise. Maybe a few common examples.” The words felt thick and heavy on her tongue, but there was no going back now. She turned back towards her bag, and reached for the same marker that she had used to help redesign their old bedroom locks, just a few moments earlier. “Get your notebook.” Only when the two of them were seated, poised over an open page, would she begin in earnest.

    “You probably won’t be able to test a lot of these things out now. Not without drawing a whole lot of attention, and destroying our brand new rooms. So you’ll have to make do with the theory for now. Ready?” Once she had Luuk’s confirmation, Natalie would put pen to paper, and begin their lesson in earnest.

    After drawing out several blank circles on one page, she’d show him a handful of new markings he could use. Lines that could sharpen an edge, or create one. Lines that would let him break whatever he touched, provided it was made of wood, or metal, or stone. She’d even show him a few useful ways to combine the two, that could prove helpful in common situations. Ways to collapse a floor, or a wall, like she had done at her old apartment. A full sigil he could use to shatter a window, and leave himself with at least one piece of glass that could function as a makeshift knife.

    There were darker spells than those, of course. Natalie knew of ways to rend flesh and splinter bones. With a mere brush of her hand and enough ill intent, she could cripple, kill, or even break minds. Forbidden things. Spells that she would only ever use as a last resort, and had gladly buried in the back of her mind for the past ten years. Even now, she shuddered to think of them. Those she would not teach. Not yet, and hopefully not ever. That was where she drew the line. Luuk would have to make do with more mundane methods.

    Once she’d laid out her examples, she’d pass Luuk the pen, straighten up in her seat, and ask him to copy them onto the next page.

    She’d sit back and watch as Luuk worked. Every stroke of his pen felt like he were driving a stake closer to her heart. Each completed tragedy felt like it were tearing free another piece of her soul. But even so, Natalie tried to find solace in the fact that this knowledge might help keep her young student safe. Tried to justify this choice to herself.

    After watching Luuk work in silence for a moment, Natalie would clear her throat. She didn’t want to distract him while he was still processing this new lesson, but her conscience demanded that she speak. “I know it probably goes without saying, but I feel the need to make it clear anyway. These techniques are only ever to be used for self-defense. If I ever find out you’ve used them for anything else…” Natalie’s voice trailed off, and the teacher realised she didn’t know how to finish that sentence. How would she ever punish him, if she found he had done something so ghastly? Would she even be able to? Natalie had to suppress a shiver, and quickly shoved the thought aside. “I’m not saying you would. I wouldn’t have taught you them if I thought there was a risk of that. But for the sake of my own conscience…” she started, before trailing off again. God, she was making such a mess of this, wasn’t she? Hopefully she’d said enough for Luuk to understand what she was getting at.

  2. #112
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    Natalie was silent for a long moment, and Luuk would have wondered if she’d even heard him if not for the way she paused. Her fingers hovered over the clothes she had been putting away, interrupted, and though she betrayed little with her expression, Luuk immediately regretted asking. It wasn’t his place to ask to learn such violent things. Isn’t that why his parents were dead? The misuse of magic, and the fear it had caused amongst the rest of the world? If he inappropriately applied the skills he had been taught, just who might he anger? His thoughts flashed back to Natalie’s home, to that man, the one who haunted his dreams. No, he thought, trying to shake the thought. He wouldn’t dare misuse what he knew, but he wanted—needed—to know how to protect himself. For his own peace of mind.

    After a minute, to his surprise, Natalie humored him. Luuk was quick to follow her orders, ready to draw the new circles she’d teach. He watched the new markered shapes take form, committing them to memory. Their magic was not meant to be destructive, true, but he listened to her talk about the ways it could be, and he wondered how she knew so much. The curious part of Luuk wanted to know everything there was to know, but a terrified side of him feared what his teacher had experience with. To distract himself, he tried to think of new ways to apply the forms she was teaching, and as different scenarios played through his mind, he thought of ways to solve them. His eyes slowly studied the room, trying to find anything he could fashion into a weapon. The feel of the gun in his hands, sleek and cold, drifted back to his mind, and he visibly flinched. He had never thought of himself as a violent person; if the need arose, would he even be able to act with this new knowledge?

    With the explanation finished, Luuk copied the circles into his notebook, taking extra care to be accurate with each mark etched into the perimeter. Afterwards, he committed them to memory, all while Natalie’s gaze remained, unflinching, on him.

    He had heard it. The way her voice was too unnaturally level, or the way she looked to him more than during other lessons. Natalie did not want to be teaching him this, and guilt crawled up his skin at the realization. Was it that she didn’t trust him with this knowledge? No, he thought, he had given Natalie no reason to distrust him. Whatever reasons, he knew he would be extra careful with these. He didn’t want to disappoint his teacher, and more importantly, he didn’t want to anger the same murderers that she had.

    Natalie spoke again, and Luuk turned to her, a brow arched. Was she… threatening him? He waited for her to finish her statement, waited for the punishment that would await him if ever he acted out of turn, but her warning never came, and Luuk turned away. Did she really think him capable of misusing something that had caused so much damage already? She had taken away from him everything he’d known; what more did she have with which to threaten him?

    Luuk was quiet for a long while, contemplative, unsure of what he could say. “Yeah,” he finally settled on, not much a response. He looked at his notebook, at the notes he’d scribbled beneath the new circles. “You don’t have to worry about me,” he added tentatively. “I wouldn’t ever do anything like…” But the words trailed, and the rest of his sentence never came out. Wasn’t that why he’d asked her? To use what she’d teach? As much as he didn’t want to know these spells, he knew the choice was no longer his. And now, he could rest a bit safer knowing next time, he wouldn’t be so helpless.

    He got up suddenly, snapping his book shut and setting it back into his backpack. Silent, he emptied the contents of his other bags onto his bed and began sorting what he needed to. He needed something mindless, repetitive, something like refolding his barely-folded clothes and putting things away. But before he got far, he looked back to Natalie. “Thank you,” he said, failing to meet her gaze. “For teaching me. I know you didn’t want to, and I get it. I’m not going to disappoint you.” Luuk then returned to his new task, hoping soon he could forget about the weight of his new abilities.
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  3. #113
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    Luuk’s attempts at reassurance were halting and awkward, but Natalie knew that she was in no position to judge. She was nothing if not self-aware, and her own roughshod attempt at intimidation had been just as bad, if not worse. The topic of violence was always going to be a difficult one, but even so, Natalie couldn’t help but feel as if she’d failed as a teacher, somehow. That she should have kept them out of this situation to begin with, or taken the time to come up with a better way to explain, instead of just offering up the knowledge as soon as he had asked. Even now, she felt like she should say something more. Something to make things better, and help dispel the growing tension.

    If such words existed, however, they didn’t come to Natalie then. Feeling the weight of her failures more keenly than ever, Natalie decided that they probably both needed some time to think. She certainly did, at the very least, and Luuk didn’t seem inclined to interrupt. Instead of speaking up, she turned her attention back to her own unpacking, and resumed her work in silence. She let her body move on autopilot, her hands folding and sorting clothes autonomously, whilst her mind wandered further afield, treading darker pastures.

    It wasn’t long before Natalie decided that she couldn’t take it any longer, that she needed a moment to herself. She dug through her bag idly for a moment, and seized the small bag of toiletries that lay within. “I’ll be right back” she offered, perhaps unnecessarily, before slipping into the bathroom, and closing the door behind her.

    It only took Natalie a few moments to unpack the scarce few toiletries she had. Her toothbrush and toothpaste, dental floss, and a small bar of soap. She hadn’t bothered with shampoo and conditioner – even cheap motels like this tended to supply their own. The same could be said of the soap, of course, but she had her preferences. Once she’d finish laying everything out, Natalie would turn on the sink faucet. She’d cup her hands beneath the running water, enjoying the cool feel for a moment, until it began to overflow. She’d lean down and splash it against her face, before glancing up at her own reflection in the mirror.

    The face that gazed back at her was different to the one she remembered. They’d only been on the run for a short time, but already, the stress brought about by the constant, looming danger was beginning to take its toll. Growing dark rings and bags marked her eyes, and her cheeks already seemed leaner. It wasn’t so pronounced that a stranger might have noticed, but to Natalie, the difference was obvious. She wasn’t a young adult anymore – a fact she often forgot, until moments like this reminded her. How long could she live like this, really? They needed to do something. Something more than running and hiding. Something proactive. But what? The same question had plagued her for the past week, and still, she was no closer to an answer. She had one idea, but…it was risky.

    After a moment, Natalie finally turned the faucet off again, before reaching for one of the towels that hung nearby. Once she’d dried her face, she would finally open the bathroom door again, her expression set into a look of grim determination. Her gaze found Luuk immediately, and she quickly stepped towards him.

    “We need to talk, Luuk.” Not the most auspicious start, but Natalie was beyond the point of caring. She strolled over to her bed and helped herself to a seat atop it, facing her companion. The teacher felt the urge to fidget, or keep packing – anything to keep her hands occupied – but she suppressed the urge. Hopefully this discussion would go a little better than the last one.

    “We need to think about what we’re going to do moving forward. Staying alive is all well and good, but it can’t be our only plan for the long-term. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I can live the rest of my life like this.” Natalie would let out a soft sigh, her gaze drifting off to the side for one moment, as she contemplated her options. “I do have one idea, but…it’d be dangerous. So if you have any suggestions, now’s the time.”

  4. #114
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    When Natalie excused herself to the bathroom, Luuk replied with a small nod, wondering why she had felt the need to announce it. Had he done something to make her uncomfortable? The tension from their newest lesson was heavy in the air; she’d likely just needed to get away, and that was the only place she had that was not outside the safety of their shared space. The hotel room was about the same size as their last one, but somehow, it felt much smaller.

    Luuk kept his hands busy. He tucked unevenly-folded clothes into drawers, slipped emergency pens into the nightstand, and, when his fingers began to tremble, he decided to take a break. He shoved his bags to the floor next to his bed and hopped onto the covers. These sheets were itchy, but he didn’t think he’d be able to rest much, anyway. He thumbed through various webpages on his phone, dismissed some more messages, and absently clicked through the mobile games he did not have the focus for. When that failed, he pulled his notebook from out of his backpack and looked over the new designs he’d learned.

    The water in the bathroom was still running. Occasionally Luuk looked up at the door, waiting for it to open. Natalie had been in there a while, running the faucet, and he wanted to make sure she was okay. When she did finally come out, she looked all too exhausted, despite the care she’d taken to remove the signs of it from her face. Luuk wondered if he looked the same. He ran a hand over his face and flinched at the stubble growing in. Living like this, some of his former routines just hadn’t been important enough to keep. He would fix that later, he told himself, whenever later came.

    His mentor drew his full attention, and Luuk sat up, watching her with unwavering interest. From her tone, he assumed it wasn’t a good conversation they were about to have, but then again, the discussions they had were rarely positive anymore. Luuk looked down at the notes in his book, then to the door and windows they had barricaded. Had his magic been wrong? Was he about to be reprimanded? No, Natalie looked far too drained to bother with a scolding like that. He obediently turned his body towards her bed, notebook in his lap as he crossed his legs, and nodded. “Of course.”

    She… was right. As much as Luuk was in denial about their living situation, about their immediate future, there was little chance either of them could last very long like this. Eventually, their funds would run out, or they’d go insane first, and there was no way they could live their lives in a meaningful way from here. But the threats lingered at the corners of his mind, thoughts of what would happen if he dared to venture where he was not wanted. How could they ever survive the anxiety that came with being anywhere but here?

    Natalie wanted suggestions, but there was too much Luuk did not know, too much he could not predict. He shook his head, biting his tongue, but after a moment, he spoke anyway. “What did you do last time?” There had been a last time; perhaps there had been last times. Natalie knew how to handle this… didn’t she? Wasn’t that why they were living in cheap motels, altering the doors and windows to put at rest their paranoia, waiting like sitting ducks before the anxiety forced them to move again?

    He shifted, straightening his back, and his book fell out of his lap and onto the floor. Still, his gaze remained unflinching on her. “We could try to go back to our lives,” he suggested. “Maybe they forgot about us.” But he couldn’t convince himself, and his words sounded awkward and unfit in his mouth. Besides, Luuk didn’t have a life to return to. His semester had concluded: his studies were over, his dorm room was emptied, and he had nowhere else to go. Swallowing that thought, he cleared his throat. “Or we could move somewhere else. I hear Italy is great this time of year.” There wasn’t even the hint of a smile following his joke, and he turned away to avoid acknowledging that. This wasn’t the time for dumb suggestions, but he had nothing else to offer.

    Without looking up to meet her eye, Luuk mumbled, “What’s more dangerous than this?”
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  5. #115
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    The first question was one that, in hindsight, Natalie should have expected. Maybe if she’d given this a little more thought, she would have been prepared. Had a proper answer ready. As it was, the question brought several memories bubbling to the surface, unbidden. She remembered Luuk’s mother, looking just as desperate and afraid as Natalie had felt. She remembered the two of them sneaking through the shadows together, committing one atrocity after the other, all in the name of survival. She remembered their desperate pleas, the dark bargain that they had made. She remembered the way Luuk’s mother had looked after their aggressors had broken their deal, and shot her without warning. All relevant, but all things she dared not mention. They were things she had never wanted to think again, let alone speak about. Especially to Tess’s son. But what was she supposed to say in their place?

    Natalie was so absorbed by her thoughts that it took her several moments to realise that she had been staring off into space, and remember Luuk was still in the room with her. Still waiting for an actual answer. She threw a glance at her young student, still at a loss as to how she was supposed to explain. So Natalie opened her mouth, and hoped that the words that spilled out would be good enough. That she’d find the answer somewhere along the way.

    “Last time, your mother and I approached the people who were hunting us, and hoped they’d be merciful. I don’t need to remind you how well that turned out.” As soon as the words had left her mouth, Natalie flinched inwardly. Even to her own ears, they sounded much too callous. Too detached from the reality of that night. But it was as close as her mind would allow her to get right now, apparently. She didn’t think she was ready to explain just yet, and even if she had been, Luuk needed to know a little more about their magic before he could understand the full scope of what she and Tess had done. Unsure, she decided to just rush ahead, and hope that would suffice. The talk of Italy was enough to get a dry chuckle out of her, at the very least.

    “If they were capable of forgetting, they wouldn’t have been keeping such a close eye on me, after how long it’s been. We genuinely could try to free the country, but…we don’t know how far the power these people have extends. At the end of the day, that’s really the crux of the issue. If we had more information, we could try and plan around their capabilities, but…” Natalie trailed off, before giving something akin to a helpless shrug. Speculation would get them nowhere. If it would, Natalie would have come up with an answer already. She’d certainly spent enough time overthinking throughout the last week.

    “The only other idea I can think of is to use myself as bait.” Despite her earlier attempts at self-control, Natalie wasn’t able to stop herself from fidgeting now. She tapped the fingers of her hand against her thigh rhythmically as she spoke; a subtle hint as to her nervousness. “We know that they’ll send someone after us if they figure out where we are. So I intentionally put myself in the spotlight. We plan things out in advance and make sure that when they come, we’re ready for it. We try and get the drop on whoever they send, and see if we can’t find something out in the process.”

    It was a dangerous idea, but every option they had felt dangerous to Natalie at the moment. Still, the two of them were capable mages, with magic that rewarded planning and creativity. Surely, given enough time, they could come up with a plan that their mysterious hunters wouldn’t be able to see coming. It was that, or…well, keep living like this. Or they could go back to Luuk’s plan. The thought was enough to coax a wan smile from her lips.

    “It’s either that, or we actually try and flee the country, and hope they don’t react quickly enough to stop us. Either way, we’d be rolling the dice.”

  6. #116
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    The cold tone of Natalie’s blunt reply snapped Luuk to attention, and any other stupid questions he might have had died in his throat. Her answer was the reminder he didn’t need that his life was in danger, that he was only a few wrong steps away from formally meeting his parents. He shuddered and turned away from her. Luuk couldn’t blame Natalie for her insensitive response—she had lived through it, after all, and held all the scars for it he did not—he only regretted asking, regretted not thinking just a little bit about the answers he probably could have figured out on his own.

    The longer Natalie spoke, the more Luuk regretted speaking. His lighthearted though idiotic words were too full of hope, ill-fit for their situation. He nodded softly as she refuted him. They needed information. Already his mind began its wandering, thinking of all the ways they could find out more about their pursuers. It was difficult to know how much he didn’t know, and Luuk had the feeling Natalie was still not telling him some things, but he didn’t feel like now was a time for any more questions. Instead, he tried to come up with his own methods, but he was only drawing blanks.

    When she voiced her own suggestion, Luuk turned sharply to face her, his eyes clouding over in disbelief. “No,” came his immediate reply, but he let her speak. From the way her body slightly shook, she seemed just as against this idea as he was. Was there really no other way? Natalie didn’t need to mention the risks of this new plan; he was all too aware of how things could go wrong. He hadn’t been there when his mother died, but the same scenario played out in his head, this time with Natalie, over and over. He wondered how he could take on after her, how he, inexperienced as he was, could get on as the last living mage, and a new fear tangled in his throat. He shook his head and took a few moments to catch his breath. No, he wouldn’t think of that. Things wouldn’t come to that.

    Besides, even if her idea of using herself as bait was outrageous in every way, she did have a point. They were running out of ideas, and maybe a little danger would be worth it to get them out of here, get their lives back, to not be controlled by villains who wanted them dead. He tried not to think of how crazy it all sounded, how agreeing would feel a lot like volunteering her life for his safety. Again Luuk shook his thoughts, forcefully, and tried to refocus.

    He was quiet for several minutes, thinking. Finally, he said, “Okay.” Luuk shifted, his legs moving to dangle over the edge of the bed, and he straightened, nodding slightly. “We will put you in the spotlight to lure out the people we want information from. Okay.” He brought his gaze to her. “We should do it in a public place, an event of some sort, with a lot of people. That way, our… the people after us, they’d be less hasty to attack if they’d be caught, right? And we’ll have a trap in place, a magic trap, still invisible to the people not looking for it, and we’ll capture them, to question them, just to learn some new things, but how would we get them to talk—” His mind wandered to the newest magic he’d learned, and he visibly flinched before continuing. “—and once we have information, we can decide from there where we go, and how we can move forward. Nothing bad will happen to either of us.”

    It was clear he was going over the plan more for his own benefit than for Natalie’s. He watched her face, waiting to see her reaction, waiting for her to tell him she’d been joking, but she didn’t. He swallowed, hard. “Okay,” he said for the third time. “When… should we do it?”
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  7. #117
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    Luuk’s first response struck Natalie as the sensible one. The idea she had proposed was truly dangerous, all things considered. Their opponents had weapons that could kill instantly, from a large distance, whilst she and Luuk needed to touch things to affect them. They didn’t know how many enemies there would be, or what they would look like. Catching a target was always more difficult than killing one, too. No matter how extensive their planning, there was no way that the two of them would be able to cover every eventually. One of war’s oldest adages was that no strategy ever survived contact with the enemy, and for good reason. Her suggestion was something that only the truly insane or truly desperate would ever consider. In that moment, though, Natalie wasn’t sure which of those two categories fit her better. She was just ready for this endless purgatory to stop. One way or another.

    Luuk’s acceptance was enough. Natalie dipped her head slightly for a moment, a shaky breath slipping past her lips, before she’d gather her resolve and give him a determined nod. Their path was set now, and she had no intentions of changing it. The two of them might second-guess themselves as the big moment drew closer, but here and now, she felt committed.

    Her expression grew focused as she listened to Luuk’s suggestions, one after the other. The idea of doing things in a public place was…interesting. A possibility she hadn’t considered. Minimizing the odds that their opponents would attack out of the blue with lethal force was an appealing prospect, though using their magic without attracting attention would become much more difficult. The other obvious problem that sprang to mind was the possibility of any civilians getting caught in the crossfire. Hopefully everything would go according to plan, but in the case it didn’t, Natalie wasn’t entirely sure she was willing to tolerate the possibility of collateral damage. Not where innocents were involved. Was there some way they could get the best of both worlds?

    “The university” Natalie offered by the way of reply, after several moments of consideration. The longer she considered the idea, the more logical it seemed. “We know the building is monitored, so we can be sure the people looking for us will take notice. If you have some sort of electronic ID card you can use, too, then all the better. We know there will be witnesses around, depending on the exact day and time we choose to do things. And you know the layout, so we’ll have a good picture of the building’s layout to base our trap on. It ticks all of the boxes.”

    Natalie’s first few words came out slowly, but the more she spoke, the faster she seemed to move. It was as if the gears of her mind were finally coming unstuck, finally beginning to turn again, now that she had a specific problem she could focus on. At long last, she could do something useful, instead of just hiding in the dark and waiting. Wondering when their enemies would come kick down the door, and finish what they had started, all those years ago. If they were truly going to make this gamble, go all in, then she would invest as much time and energy as she was able, so that they had the greatest chance of success possible.

    No longer able to contain herself, Natalie would rise to her feet, and begin pacing the length of their room. She looked down at the floor in front of her feet, but her expression was far from despondent. It was focused, concentrated, as she continued to walk back and forth on a loop.

    “We don’t have to rush into things, but there’s no reason to delay, either. We do things as soon as we’re confident we’ve prepared as much as we possibly can. Until then, we spend our mornings continuing your lessons, and our evenings working on the plan.” She’d pause her pacing just long enough to throw a glance in Luuk’s direction. “I hope you’re ready to knuckle down and study like it’s finals season.” A hint of a smile flickered across her face, before another idea seemed to strike Natalie. She’d walk back over to the beds and seize Luuk’s notebook, before flicking to an open page. She’d thrust both it and her marker at the poor boy expectantly.

    “Do you think you could draw me a rough map of the university? I know it’s probably too big to do the entire thing, but the more detailed, the better. Just focus on any areas that might be useful to us.”

  8. #118
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    The university… Yes, Luuk figured, that made sense. The campus was huge, with people all over at all times of day, even at night. Summer classes would be starting soon, so by the time they were ready to move, professors and students alike would be shuffling around, grinding out class plans and study sessions, eager to keep up with the hastened pace of the half-term. Luuk didn’t know if his ID would still work—he wasn’t technically a student anymore—but it was worth a shot. Before they were ready, he would make sure to visit campus, try to get into the library, the cafeteria, see where his ID could still take him. All the while, maybe he could convince himself that his old life hadn’t changed after all.

    Plus, he knew the grounds well. Gloucestershire’s campus had been his home, his world, for the past six years. He would know, even during the summer, which buildings were occupied when, which rooms were hubs, where they could most efficiently plan their attack. As Natalie spoke of the benefits, Luuk thought of the many more she couldn’t know, and he nodded along, eager to formulate the specifics of the operation.

    Even though Natalie assured there was no rush, the pressure was building within him to move, as if waiting too long might get them both killed. When they were both ready was a phrase without meaning, an impossibility, but still, Luuk did not protest. Arguing with her wouldn’t get them anywhere, and it would be a waste of time they could use preparing. Her joke got a soft smile out of him, at least, and he nodded. “I thought I’d be done with those when I graduated,” he mused, a soft chuckle following. This would be different, would be more important, and Luuk did not intend to let his teacher down.

    His gaze followed her to where he’d left his notebook, and he regarded her with a raised brow. “Oh,” he said, when she made her intentions clear. “Of course.” He took the book from her, then hesitated. “Actually, I think I can do you one better.” Luuk rummaged through one of his bags by the bed and sifted through papers in various folders. Some were very old, their age showing in the tears and scuffs in them, and some were being held together entirely by tape. He grabbed for one of the worse ones and finally seemed to find what he was looking for within it. “Surprised all these papers survived,” Luuk admitted as he handed one to Natalie. On it was a map of his campus, given to him during his orientation ages ago, which he had used to find his classes for his first couple terms. He glanced at it in her hands, then frowned and took it back. “Hold on.”

    Luuk set the old map at the top of his notebook as he started to draw a replica of it on the lined paper. As he did, he mumbled to himself about a building being torn down, a new one replacing it. It didn’t take long, and soon, he was looking over his new, hand-drawn map, trying to think if he’d forgotten anything. “This is more accurate,” he said, ripping the page out of his book and handing it to Natalie. “Can’t believe it’s been six years…” He shook the thought, then started pointing to things on the map. “The buildings surrounding the square here are going to be the most crowded, obviously, but there’s also this one…” His finger trailed across the ink to land on a building a little distance away from the others. “This one has a lot of important classes in it too, and since it’s further from the center than the others, it might be a good option. It still sees traffic, but it’s not so crowded that anyone would… would…”

    He hadn’t wanted to consider it, anyone else getting caught up in their issues. What if the people chasing them didn’t care about the audience at all? Would anyone else get hurt? How would Luuk live with himself knowing other people were traumatized because of him? He considered telling Natalie no, to look for somewhere that wasn’t the university, somewhere quiet where no one would watch them die, but he bit his tongue. If he let his anxiety spiral, he and Natalie would be stuck in this life, unable to move on. He had to believe nothing bad would happen. He had to trust in them.

    After clearing his throat, Luuk spent another several minutes giving Natalie some tips about different routes through campus and buildings they could use, even jotting a few notes in the white space around his drawing. “The police station is here,” he said, circling part of the building that housed the officers who often did more meddling than protecting. “We’ll want to consider the distance between there and the location we choose. They might be able to help us, if things go wrong.” Or they’d just make things worse, he thought, but he hoped it wouldn’t come to finding out.

    When finally Luuk finished discussing the map, he set his pen aside and sighed. Even if they had some direction now, it was still all too much, and he was overwhelmed with the possibilities of all that could go wrong. He turned back to Natalie, trying to figure out how she was feeling about all this. “It’s been… a long day,” he said, even if it was far from over. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to lay down.” He retrieved his laptop and sat with it in his lap, cringing as the notifications of ignored messages and alerts filled the room. Luuk took his time addressing them, even if he couldn’t much respond to them. Then, when things had calmed down a bit, he glanced over at Natalie.

    She had been his only companion for a while now, but he’d felt that there was so much he could not share with her, so much she was not sharing with him. He needed other outlets, other people to talk to who didn’t understand and didn’t have to. His fingers lingered over his keyboard, itching to click an old friend’s username, or another, until finally, Luuk settled on one person to contact. He typed in the email address of his old professor, wrapped his message in apologies, and in a few minutes, his note was heading towards its destination, to the inbox of the man who had much more to do with this than Luuk could know.

    After a minute, he set his laptop beside him. “Would you want to… watch a movie together?” he asked Natalie. “If I don’t find a distraction, I think I might burst.” They could continue their routine tomorrow, after they’d both rested. Right now, some relaxation was far more important to ensure they were even sane enough to go through with their plan.
    Thanks to Craze for the beautiful Bravely set!

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  9. #119
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    The promise of ‘something even better’ was more than enough to pique Natalie’s curiosity. Did Luuk have access to some sort of official map or floor plan? That would be an incredible stroke of luck. She didn’t think it beyond the realms of possibility, and that sort of information, that level of detail, would be an incredible boon when it came to planning their operation. Her mind raced as it weighed the odds, and considered what that knowledge might allow them to do. Even so, Natalie did her best to appear patient. She resisted the urge to bombard Luuk with further questions, so that he might continue his search uninterrupted. She could hold her tongue for a few moments, let her questions stew, if it meant he’d finish up sooner.

    The piece of paper that Luuk handed over was more or less what Natalie had been hoping for. A single glance was enough to determine its purpose – a map of the campus intended for new students. She didn’t get a chance to take in much more, however, before he quickly pulled it away again. As soon as Luuk began to draw, Natalie found herself thankful for the interruption. Her sense of excitement only seemed to multiply as she watched him work, using the existing map to create a new, more up-to-date one. Yes, this was working out better than she had dared to hope. His personal experience was more valuable than any old map could ever be, and she planned on making full use of it.

    When Luuk was done with his new creation, Natalie accepted the new map immediately. Her student was saddled with her absolute, undivided attention as he began talking her through specific details. Pointing out buildings that might be good choices for them, and other points of interest. Her mind devoured all this new information, ravenous. Eager. The police station in particular was something Natalie had failed to consider, but now that Luuk pointed it out to her, it definitely seemed like something worth factoring in. Yes, this was exactly what she needed, and Luuk’s personal experience was already proving its worth.

    “Hm? Oh, sure. Take all the time you need. I’ll try and be quiet for you.”

    Determined to make good on her promise, and give Luuk what little privacy she could besides, Natalie was quick to turn away. There was only so far she could go, with both of them stuck within such confined quarters, but she was eager to comply. She stepped out from between the beds and headed towards the far side of the room. Natalie helped herself to a seat atop the only frees-standing chair that furnished their current rooms, orienting herself so she was facing away from her companion. The best she could do, short of sequestering herself away in the bathroom for the duration. With her map in hand, she did her best to tune out everything else, and began thinking through a few preliminary ideas.

    Natalie ignored the tapping of keys that came from behind her, opting to focus on her work instead. She’d turn her attention back to Luuk only when he spoke next, inviting her attention again. Natalie would twist in her seat without rising, throwing an arm over the back of the chair and turning her head to face her young student. The suggestion that they watch a movie, however, was enough to make her hesitate. Now that the two of them had a definite goal, a problem she could actively work towards solving, Natalie wanted nothing more than to knuckle down and work through it. To finally do something proactive, after so long spent moving around and hiding. That said…perhaps the time off would do her good. One afternoon wasn’t going to make much of a difference, in the grand scheme of things, right? Besides, she’d be more effective when well-rested. That was what Natalie told herself, at the very least.

    “Sure. Maybe we can order some takeout too. Make a real occasion of it.” Natalie would smile as she rose from her chair, and move back towards the beds. She’d scoop the TV remote up off the nightstand, and quickly switch the dated television on. Navigating the menus took her a few moments, but before long, she’d managed to bring up a catalogue of pay-per-view movies. She’d spend a few moments scrolling through them slowly, before throwing another glance towards Luuk.

    “What sort of movies do you normally watch? Horror? Thrillers?” The mundane nature of the question struck Natalie. How strange, for them to be stuck together like this, and not know such basic things about each other. In any case, she was quick to re-evaluate. “Actually, on second thought, I’ve been tense enough lately. Let’s keep it light and breezy instead.” A few more clicks, and she’d flick through the menus for comedies, romances, and a few other more cheerful genres. “Let me know if anything catches your eye.”

  10. #120
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    As Natalie sifted through the channels on the TV in their room, Luuk could only watch with a bemused smirk on his face and a chuckle under his breath. Sometimes she really did show her age, especially where technology was concerned. He let her surf while he pulled up his collection of streaming services on his laptop. If he could untangle the chords he’d thrown into his bag, he could connect his laptop to the TV, and they would have a much better variety of things to watch—and all without requiring extra payment. Finally, when her surfing had slowed down and she looked to him for input on what they’d watch, Luuk motioned towards the screen where a list of “family-friendly classics” was on display.

    It took them longer to sort the wires in his backpack than it did to pick a film and get the computer hooked up to the old TV. Only once the movie was ready to go did he remember to call for food. He let Natalie pick the place this time, and when it was ready, he made the walk to get it, convincing himself that that was safer than giving their address to a stranger. When he returned, they settled down with their food and turned their attention to the TV, eager to set the day’s problems aside for ninety minutes to enjoy some mindless entertainment.

    Their movie would prove to be a mediocre one all around, from the plot filled with holes to the bad acting and the stereotypical romance tropes, but when Luuk turned to Natalie to make fun of it, he saw her enjoying it perhaps too much. He laughed softly to himself, for a moment forgetting their place in the hotel room and enjoying her enjoyment. He didn’t remember dozing off, but he woke up somewhere at the end of the movie, when the two main characters were rambling awkwardly about spending the rest of their lives together. A loud yawn escaped him, and he shot Natalie an apologetic glance, but she barely seemed to notice. Sitting up, Luuk watched the last few minutes, barely containing his eye rolls.

    The film had been a good distraction, but with it finished, silence settled back over the room. Luuk’s mind again wandered to campus, to their plans, and a chill ran down his spine. When his phone lit up with a notification, he jumped at the surprise of it. It was an email from his professor, an invitation for coffee tomorrow. Luuk had seemed concerning, Dr. V had written, and he just wanted to talk. To help. There would be nothing wrong with that. Luuk turned to Natalie, as if to ask permission, but she didn’t seem concerned with what he was doing. He typed up a response, a promise to meet his professor at one of the coffee shops on campus in the morning, then silenced his phone and shoved it under his pillow.

    For the rest of the day, Luuk could focus on little. He could rarely focus on anything for long, but this was worse, was an inability to do anything for more than a few minutes. He tried to study, to play video games, to browse YouTube, but nothing kept him interested. Finally, he had to resign himself to the fact that he’d only be able to think of their plans, so he pulled out a notebook and started making notes for himself. With any luck, they would think through this all soon, and they’d get this over with before he could drive himself mad.

    By the time they were ready for sleep, Luuk had filled several pages of his notebook with various scribbles and ideas. He suddenly looked up and seemed confused at how much time had passed, how dark it had gotten. He put his notebook away for now, telling himself he would show it to Natalie tomorrow; showing her now would only tempt her to stay up and read it, to lose the sleep she likely needed as badly as he did. Luuk got ready for bed, and though his mind was too overactive for rest, his body fell into sleep as soon as his head hit his pillow.
    Thanks to Craze for the beautiful Bravely set!

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