[M] What Once Was Lost [Namingtoohard & Ashen]

[Namingtoohard]

Natalie was quick to accept the phone when Luuk handed it to her. She’d help herself to a seat on the far end of his bed and begin flicking through the options that remained, determined to make a decision before Luuk had finished packing. The woman had no real skill with technology, but things seemed a little bit more manageable now that Luuk had narrowed down their options so much, and Natalie continued to work diligently, progressing through them at her own pace. The mage would pause only occasionally, glancing across at Luuk as he packed, like a worried mother making sure her child wasn’t forgetting anything important, just in case.

Once Luuk was done, she was quick to hand back his phone, and nodded in simple agreement when he finished booking the hotel they had settled on. Given that she had been forced to leave her wallet behind, she would have needed him to pay for everything regardless, at least until she could find a way to safely get access to her accounts again. His initiative saved her the embarrassment of having to ask, though – a small blessing she was inwardly grateful for. She’d be sure to offer him at least half the cost in repayment later, once she was back on her feet.

When Luuk announced that he was going to take out the trash, Natalie tried to suppress her anxiety at the thought of letting him go out there alone. What if their survival had already been discovered, and he was cornered without her around? But…no. They’d never get anywhere if she couldn’t trust Luuk to look after himself, especially on the most frivolous of errands. Instead, Natalie busied herself by checking the contents of her precious little wooden chest. Careful of the damaged hinge, she lifted the lid and looked over the contents, searching them for any obvious damage. Once she was satisfied that the interior was more or less intact, she closed it again. As soon as Luuk returned, she tucked the box under one arm, and fell into step behind him when he scooped up his bags and made to leave.

Another short walk back to the train station, entirely different and similar to the one before, somehow. Natalie stayed silent as they slipped through the turnstiles and made their way down to the appropriate platform, with a few minutes to spare. She stood there patiently, trapped in her own head, until Luuk posed his question.

Natalie hadn’t been doing much, but even so, it was enough to make her pause. His wording was vague, and yet she knew exactly what he really meant. Who was she, to think so quickly when confronted with an armed gunman? To seem so calm and methodical when thinking about what they had to do next? To clean and bandage a wound without flinching? Even when one discounted her magic, there were still unanswered questions, and Luuk was much too intelligent to go for long without piecing things together. Truth be told, Natalie wasn’t totally sure herself. Beyond that, she didn’t want to lie to him again, but didn’t feel particularly ready to speak on the truth. Given this morning’s events, a lot of old wounds were suddenly feeling fresh again, and she was already having a difficult enough time forgiving herself. To invite his judgement now seemed akin to inviting self-destruction.

Natalie was silent for a long time as she considered how best to answer his question. When she finally started to form the words, she’d glance up and down the platform, as if trying to make sure they were alone – or at least beyond earshot.

“I’m just…Let’s just say that I have experience with this sort of thing, okay?.” Natalie’s voice was soft, barely more than a whisper, and she subconsciously hugged her box closer to her. “This isn’t the first time I’ve messed up and had to start over.”

It felt like a lame explanation, even to her own ears. She was still trying to come up with more to add when the train finally arrived, pulling up alongside the platform. Natalie stayed back as the doors slid open and a small handful of people stepped off, before moving to take their place. This train proved to be less crowded than the previous one, if only slightly, and she was able to claim a seat a little further down the carriage, with one open next to her for Luuk, if he felt so inclined. Her weight shifted slightly as the train lurched into motion again, carrying them towards their destination, but she was quick to settled back into her seat.

“Remember what I told you about your parents? Well, I went through something similar back then. I survived, even if they…” Natalie’s voice trailed off, and she immediately regretted her choice of words. Regretted that she had reminded Luuk of what had happened to his birth parents, especially at a time like this. It was difficult, trying to speak in such vague terms whilst there were other people around. But she knew Luuk was intelligent enough to grasp her meaning, and hopefully that would be enough. For the time being, at the very least.

[Ashen]

Luuk could only watch her, unflinching, as Natalie considered his question. It shouldn't have been difficult to answer, yet she looked pained, as if his words had brought with them more than she was presently willing to face. He forced his gaze away from her, to give her the privacy to answer his question without him scrutinizing her expression. She was going through this too, Luuk reminded himself. She had been the initial target, and she was being uprooted, chased, and terrified too. He could at least afford her a few moments to compose herself.

When she did reply, he was left with no answers, only confirmations to the things he had already assumed to be true. A frown settled on his lips. He wondered if he could get her to talk more, to give him the answers he had asked for, the ones he needed. For a moment, his gaze flickered to her box, the one that had seemed so important. He thought to ask her of its contents. Would it hold the clues she seemed so unwilling to give? Would he have to pry the answers from this witch himself? But a part of him stalled, felt like he was invading her privacy in even thinking to ask about the box. He bit his lip, weighing his choices.

Before he could decide, he turned his head to watch a train screech to a stop before him. Though he was grateful to have his choice made for him, he hesitated. There was still so much else he wanted to ask, but he did not want to seem odd, or predatory, in this public space. He did not want to overwhelm his only ally. But doubts settled in his mind, invasive. Natalie boarded the train, but Luuk lingered on the platform, watching her search for a seat. He'd been so sure, before, about blindly following her, changing his entire life and jumping into the unknown, kissing safety goodbye for a chance to follow this ability that she claimed his parents had known. He'd always been hasty, a trait he'd been teased for before, but now, as he sat with Natalie's unsatisfactory answer, as trauma blurred his judgment, he wondered who his enemies really were.

He stepped onto the train, and he followed Natalie to a pair of seats onboard. He sat beside her, gaze unfocused. Could he press the issue now? He reevaluated her answer, her actions through all of this. So deep in thought, it took him a moment to realize when she started talking again. He looked up at the mention of his parents, and his eyes darkened. They had died. They had died while Natalie had lived. Subconsciously, his fingers tightened around the straps of one of his bags. Had she... used them? No, Luuk told himself, Natalie wouldn't do that. The guilt she'd shown when first telling him about their deaths, that had been genuine, hadn't it? Or had she been responsible for their deaths, and she was now leading him to the same fate?

A cough escaped his throat. Luuk shook his head. Such viscous thoughts; where were these even coming from? In his emotional turmoil, was he just looking for someone to take the blame of his situation? Or was he onto something, and Natalie was... Well, he didn't know who she was. How could he trust her after all?

Luuk said nothing for the duration of the train ride, and during their walk to the hotel, he was too distracted with his paranoia to say much. They reached the hotel and got a pair of keys from check-in, then went up to their room and eagerly closed the door behind them. Finally, out of the public eye, Luuk was alone to his thoughts and the one responsible for all of them. He tossed his bags onto one of the beds in the room and sat beside them. The room was a small thing, with not much of a view, and a little TV that might have been older than he was. It wasn't an ideal place to live, but on short notice, if would serve their purpose. Absently, he wondered how long they would be here, but that thought was drowned out by the millions of others.

He turned his attention back to Natalie. His eyes were closed over, and his mouth was pulled tight. He worried his bottom lip before finally speaking. "Look." His voice was quiet, pained. "I appreciate all you've done, and all you've been doing, to teach me our power, and to reconnect me with who my parents were. But I have to know: Why did you do this? If you knew the danger, if you knew that all this would happen, why did you reach out to me at all?" His gaze faltered to the rug of their room. He had a million guesses, but he needed to hear from her, even if he wasn't sure she would have a satisfying answer. "Did you do this to my mum and dad, too?" He voice was quieter now, and bringing his gaze back to her seemed labored. "Is that how they died?"

[Namingtoohard]

The muted clanking of the train carriage as it glided over the tracks. The occasional, robotic announcement crackling over the speakers, announcing the various stops they would make. Footsteps, idle conversation, and the occasional cough or sneeze. Such normal sounds, all of them. Too much so, for a day that had taken almost everything from Natalie. And yet, they were nowhere near as deafening as the silence that lingered between her and Luuk. The older woman felt like she should have been grateful for the chance to compose herself, but in reality, she couldn’t help but feel chastised by the lingering quiet. His unwillingness, or inability, to speak or ask anything further.

By the time they arrived at their destination station, Natalie felt like she couldn’t escape the train’s interior fast enough. She followed a few steps behind Luuk for the entirety of their short walk to the motel. Even from the outside, she thought it looked average at best, tio put things kindly. It struck her as the type of place that would have small rooms, uncomfortable beds, and dirty bathrooms – unpleasant in every regard except price. A motel that would appeal only to backpackers, tourists, and the desperate. Hopefully her former employers wouldn’t think to look for her here.

They signed in quickly, without any sort of ceremony or small talk – a fact Natalie couldn’t help but feel grateful for. She followed Luuk towards their numbered door, and quickly found herself encapsulated in a room every bit as old and dingy as she had imagined. It didn’t matter, though. So long as the place served its purpose, she could put up with a little discomfort.

When Luuk claimed the first bed for himself, Natalie walked around it, moving towards the second. She had no bags of her own to take care of, given that all of her personal belongings were now effectively abandoned. Instead, she eyed the small, wooden nightstand that sat between the two single beds. A small lamp sat atop it, but Natalie paid that no mind. Instead, she pulled open the first drawer and placed her own little wooden box inside, before sliding it shut again. It was a paltry defence at best, she knew – anyone who searched their rooms would find it immediately, with no resistance. She felt a little better now that it was locked away out of immediate sight, though, and not having to carry it around anymore was a welcome bonus.

It was about that time that Luuk finally spoke. More questions, directly related to those that he had posed earlier. Ones that Natalie felt entirely unprepared for, if not outright incapable of answering right now. She forced a wan smile and seated herself on her own bed, opposite of him, determined to try. Even so, she couldn’t help but hesitate, just briefly. Her answer would require an admission that she certainly didn’t want to make, but…well, what choice did she have? She owed Luuk this much, at the very least.

“I guess I was just…tired of being alone. Tired and…afraid. Afraid of being the last person who would ever practice our craft, without anyone to share my accomplishments with, or pass my experience on to.” The words seemed to tear at Natalie’s throat as she spoke them. A verbal reminder of something she had always known, deep down inside, but tried to avoid admitting to herself. Speaking the words made her fears feel more real, somehow. More tangible. “Sitting here, now, I know it was a poor decision. A moment of weakness, and I’ve destroyed the entire life you used to have. I won’t blame you if you hate me for it.”

As Natalie’s words faded into silence, she wasn’t at all surprised to realise she could feel her eyes watering. She raised one of her hands to her face and rubbed at them idly for a moment, one after the other, as if trying to banish the tears before they could spill over. Of course, the gesture itself was likely just as telling as any actual tears would have been. There was no hiding some things, it seemed – a fact she was learning here and now, much too late. The hardest part was still to come, too.

“Your parents were accomplished mages before I ever met them, Luuk. I didn’t drag them into this. But…” Natalie paused. How could she possibly explain this without incriminating herself? Did she even deserve to walk out of this blameless? The answer was quick in coming. No. Definitely not.

“I wasn’t there when your father died. I didn’t find out it had happened until after the fact. But your mother…I watched it happen, Luuk.” Natalie’s voice dropped to a whisper as she spoke those final words. The tears finally began to spill over, sliding down her cheeks silently, despite her earlier efforts. “The man who killed her…it was so quick, so unexpected, I didn’t realise what was happening until it was already too late. Our positions very easily could have been reversed, but…well, here we are. I often wish they had been.”

[Ashen]

He didn't take note of her reaction to this room, nor her movement in it, except for the box she tucked away into the drawer by her bed. Luuk only watched Natalie as she finally answered the questions that had been on his mind this whole time. As she spoke, he realized all she had wanted was... a son. Luuk turned away, chewing the thought. She had wanted someone to know, to grow close to, someone to trust, and someone to whom she could pass on her skills, this magic. She hadn't mentioned any children of her own, or a family at all, so he had been an opportunity for her. Luuk was no child, and he would never get those years back, years with his real parents learning about the things Natalie sought to teach him. But hadn't he wanted that, too? Hadn't he longed for those moments of encouragement, of instruction, of reprimand, or love, that Natalie was offering him? Luuk could criticize her poor judgment, the weight of the choices she'd made that had brought them here, but he could not bring himself to hate her.

She confirmed that his parents' deaths were not her fault, and at that, Luuk let out a breath. At least he could take solace in that. However, the single syllable that slipped behind her words, that but halted his relief. Again he felt dread creep upon him, guessing at what she was about to say. He turned back to her, contemplating her next words. Did he want to know? He had to know; he deserved to know whom he was trusting with his life.

As she explained, Luuk imagined his mother, confused, helpless, falling to her death in front of a friend, a friend that might have died in her place. Natalie mentioned a man, a murderer; could that have been the same man who had run them out of Natalie's home? Or were multiple people after them, ready to dispose of anyone capable of their forbidden art? And why? Luuk wondered what his mother had had that Natalie hadn't, why she had died and Natalie was still here.

He didn't know when Natalie started crying, but when Luuk did notice, guilt bit at him, settling in his chest. Maybe he shouldn't have asked. He was forcing her to relive this traumatic experience, and on a day already full of changes and fear. But he had deserved this answer, even if it hurt her, especially if it hurt her. He cast a glance around the room and, finding no tissue box, got up and walked to the bathroom. He reappeared a moment later with a handful of toilet paper, which he wordlessly offered to Natalie. He sat back down in his bed and, while she wiped at her tears, tried to wrangle his thoughts into something that made sense.

He was silent for several minutes. The thought that Natalie could have done something to save his mother crossed his mind only briefly, but he quickly dismissed it. "It's not your fault," he finally said. Seeing how this ate at her, even after so much time... He couldn't help but feel sorry for her. He hesitated. "If it's as you say, then you couldn't have done anything. It's not your fault. I'm... glad she had a familiar face, in her last moments." He brought his eyes up to her. "I think she'd... thank you. For telling me about her, and Dad. And for bringing me here, despite everything." He hesitated. With so much to say, where could he start? There was still so much to know, but as he watched Natalie's tears spill from her eyes, he thought perhaps now was not the time.

Luuk straightened. He looked to the window of their room. "Do you want... food?" he suggested. He had no appetite, and he was sure Natalie wouldn't either, but eating would do them some good, he figured, and it would give them time to compose themselves. "We can order something small," he added. "Do you like... wings? I think I saw a pizza place close by." He grabbed for his phone, already searching for an online menu for every take-out restaurant nearby.

He was no good at comforting people. His foster mother had often ordered food when he was down, and he hoped the same strategy would work now with Natalie. There was still much to discuss, but those things could wait, if for a little while. He glanced back to her, wishing he could help. "I don't hate you," he added quietly. "I'm angry, that you'd drag me through this without telling me of the dangers, but I... I get it. Being so alone, and so lonely, just wishing you could have anyone to share yourself with." He straightened, shaking his head. In her position, would he have done the same? He couldn't know. He couldn't blame her. Turning back to his phone, he murmured an apology, for all that he had caused.

[Namingtoohard]

The few brief minutes that followed the end of her explanation were some of the longest that Natalie had ever lived, rivalled only by the very night they were discussing. Even now, so many years on, she could remember the evening they were speaking about with perfect clarity. The images in her mind were more vivid than Natalie would ever have hoped, or have wanted. A pool of blood, spreading outwards slowly. The ringing in her ears. Her hands, usually so steady, shaking uncontrollably. The surprise, anger, despair, and fury, all knotted together so tightly within her chest that she had felt as if she were going to choke. Images and impressions circled through her mind as if it were a broken record, stuck on repeat. In a way, it had been, ever since that night.

Would he hate her? She wondered. It would only be fair, after everything she had put – was putting – him through. In that moment, her brain seemed convinced that was the only possible outcome. Natalie wouldn’t blame him, of course. She had said as much just a few moments earlier, and she had meant it. Beyond that, would it even matter? How would the weight of his scorn compare to all the guilt and self-loathing that she had nurtured over the past two decades? Natalie didn’t know, but she was convinced that she was about to find out.

She made no move to stop Luuk when he rose, and posed no questions about where he was going, or what he intended to do. Natalie scarcely seemed to notice at all, truth be told. If he wanted some time to himself, who was she to deny him? When he returned, toilet paper in hand, it took a moment for her mind to realise what he intended. She reached out and took the makeshift tissues wordlessly, surprised by small yet kind gesture. The tears refused to stop coming, but Natalie tried to wipe them away regardless, whilst she listened to his answer.

It was…more than she had expected, and certainly more than she would ever have dared to hope for. A small nod was the only answer Natalie trusted herself to give, since her voice seemed likely to betray her.

Luuk’s sudden offer of food was met with a weak laugh. One that seemed to come out of nowhere, slipping out between individual sobs. Even so, Natalie felt better for it. She sniffed idly as she considered the prospect, an equally weak smile flickering across her features. The flow of tears finally seemed to slow now, at long last.

“Sure. I had a few more things I wanted to get done today, but I guess they’ll have to wait. I guess now isn’t really the time” she answered. Her voice still seemed a little shaky, even to her own ears, but there was nothing she could do about it right now Much like her companion, Natalie wasn’t feeling particularly hungry at the moment. Still, if he wanted to get food, she was hardly going to refuse. Besides, even if she didn’t feel like eating, it would still probably do her some good. Even so, she’d hesitate at the words that followed. How could she possibly respond to that? What could she say that would possibly do her thoughts justice? In the end, she whispered the only two that sprang to mind. “Thank you.”

Natalie would excuse herself after that. She’d rise and make her way over to the bathroom, before pulling the door shut behind her, leaving Luuk alone to make their order. A glance in the mirror was enough to confirm how terrible she looked, with red eyes and splotchy cheeks. She’d turn on the sink’s faucet and then cup her hands beneath the running water, before splashing it over her face briefly. After a few repetitions, she both looked and felt a little more put-together. Even beyond that, cold water and some time alone had given her a chance to compose herself. There were a few other things she wanted to express to Luuk that she hadn’t had the presence of mind to mention before.

Natalie would step out of the bathroom a few minutes later, both looking and feeling considerably better. As soon as she was certain Luuk was off the phone, she’d be quick to offer up what she had neglected to mention before.

“If you really want to hear it, then I’ll sit down and tell you the full story sometime, once all this is over. Just…not yet. It’s a little too close to home right now for my tastes, and you need to learn more about our magic before you’ll be able to understand everything that took place that night.”

[Ashen]

Natalie's laughter burst out of nowhere, almost pathetic in the way it rolled out of her, unprompted, yet unmistakably beautiful in its own right. It brought a smile to Luuk's lips. Though this wasn't the response he'd been expecting, nor the one that made any sense, he was glad to see her smiling regardless, no matter how weakly. He simply nodded his agreement at her words--whatever plans he'd had for the day were surely moot now as well, and picking up the pieces of the life he'd had only hours ago could wait until they were calmer and fuller. He offered her another smile at her thanks, and as she went to the bathroom to clean herself up, he dialed the number of the restaurant he'd chosen.

From the sounds of the many voices buzzing from the other line, the pizza place was quite busy at this hour. While Luuk was put on hold, he wondered how thinly he would have to spread his savings account, how long before he would be able to apply for the jobs he'd studied for. How careful would he have to be, going forward, and for how long? His incessant thoughts threatened to overwhelm him, so he shook his head and tried to concentrate on the food he'd chosen. Once he'd placed the order, he hung up and took a shaky breath. Luuk felt the need to check his balances from his phone. He would be fine for a bit, at least, but what then?

It was then that Natalie returned from the bathroom to interrupt his paranoia. Though she looked somewhat calmer, her eyes were still red, and her cheeks held remnants of their earlier streams. He didn't dare comment, instead turning his attention back to his phone, but when she spoke, he met her eye. "Of course," was his automatic reply, but his emotions burned fiercely. He would try to be understanding of her trauma, of the sensitive subjects she needed to avoid to protect herself, but a part of him, a childish part of him wanted his answers, and he didn't like being made to wait for them. He swallowed the anger that bubbled in him and nodded. "Take all the time you need."

After a moment of composing himself, Luuk shoved his phone into his pocket and rose. "I'm going to pick up the food," he announced. "I... thought that was better than having it delivered," he added. He wondered if his caution was just paranoia, or if Natalie would take solace in his foresight. He hated all the doubts now he had, all the second-guessing he was doing about the most mundane things. "I think I should go alone," he continued. Whoever was looking for Natalie knew her, but only one person had seen him, so he thought this safer. The restaurant wasn't far; he would be alright, he assured himself. "I won't be long." And once he was sure Natalie would be okay--as okay as she could be--he set off to retrieve their order.

He returned several minutes later with a box in one hand and a plastic bag strung around the other wrist. He nodded a greeting towards Natalie, then, finding no good place to put the food, balanced the box on the end of the nightstand. "Pepperoni calzone, barbecue wings, soda..." He motioned to each item as he named it, then offered Natalie the plastic utensils from the bag. "I... forgot the plates," he realized awkwardly. He held the box out to her instead, a makeshift plate, and hoped it was enough.

And in the messiness of their meal, in the awkward and informal scene of the greasy calzone, the bubbling soda, the kick of the wings contained in the foreign room, Luuk could almost convince himself this was just a family vacation, a pitstop on some road trip he was having, not the waiting room of their persecution, the rest of their lives in hiding--or perhaps the unwillingness to hide. The future, though different than how it had looked before, was just as limitless.

Though the adrenaline had died down, he could not deny the many doubts still weaving through his mind, nor the many questions he still held without any answers. But Luuk knew better than to try to learn more now. He had to wait, to see how things would unfold now, and to play by ear. Things would become clear in time, he reminded himself. All he could do now was protect himself, and Natalie, and learn more about the strange art he was being hunted for.

[Namingtoohard]

Luuk’s patience and understanding were both appreciated, irrespective of how genuine they might have been. A big part of Natalie wanted to give him the answers he sought, but she simply didn’t feel capable of reliving those memories right now. Especially not after the emotional rollercoaster that today had been. Instead, it became just another topic on the growing list of things she would need to show or explain to him eventually. For now, that promise of eventual closure would have to be enough. Hopefully they’d both survive long enough to see it become a reality.

The talk of Luuk going to pick up the food they had ordered alone was enough to make Natalie hesitate. Would they have been better off getting it delivered? Would a delivery person knowing where they were staying be less risky than having to go out there and show their faces? If there was a risk to be taken, shouldn’t she be the one who take the chance, instead of risking the life of someone younger, someone who was an innocent third party to all this? The questions came quick and unbridled before Natalie took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. They were going to need to put themselves out there eventually, and as dangers went, this was a very small one. Luuk was technically an adult grown, and she couldn’t protect him forever.

“The store is just around the corner, right? Take all the time you need” Natalie answered, after a too-long pause. She did her best to sound calm and unbothered by the prospect, with moderate success. Once Luuk had slipped from the room, she would lock the door behind him quickly, before helping herself to a seat atop her bed. She knew he’d probably only be gone for a couple of minutes, but even so, Natalie was glad for another little moment of privacy. Seeking a distraction, she turned her attention to their surroundings, and began pondering what she could possibly do to make them a little more…bearable.

By the time Luuk returned, Natalie was feeling better still. She’d managed to avoid worrying over him the entire time he was gone, by some small miracle. What’s more, whilst she hadn’t thought herself hungry when they had ordered, the mere smell of the food he was carrying was enough to make her stomach growl. She accepted the makeshift plate Luuk offered her with a weak chuckle, and was quick to suggest that Luuk use a napkin as a temporary replacement, if the store had been generous enough to give him any.

Their meal passed without any real discussion of consequence. The silence was marred mostly by the inevitable rearranging of ‘plates’ and bags that occurred every time Natalie reached out to help herself to a little more calzone, or another wing. The food had the strange sort of greasiness that only cheap fast food ever seemed to achieve – the type that made it extremely satisfying to eat, but left you regretting your decisions just ten minutes or so after you were finished. The hallmark of a traditional budget holiday, in Natalie’s opinion. Once the two of them were done, she’d lean back and try to relax for a moment, before finally speaking up.

“Not bad, all things considered” she’d offer idly. Another dash of normality, injected into a situation such as theirs, hardly struck her as a bad thing. Unfortunately, it wasn’t long before she would relent, and instead turn her attention to matters at hand. “We should probably wake up early tomorrow and try to catch the news. See if there’s anything about what happened at my apartment on there. We might learn something new.”

Whilst she spoke, Natalie rose from her seat, having spied something that had given her an idea. With deft fingers, she plucked a stray pen from the surface of their nightstand. She stepped over towards their room’s front door as she pulled the cap off, before testing it on the back of her arm. She hated working with pens, given how inconsistent the ink flow could be, but in a situation like this, it would suffice…or so she thought. Her dislike quickly proved justified. A scowl flickered across Natalie’s features, and her movements became the quick scratching of someone desperately trying to get a pen to work.

“Damn thing. Motel can’t even give us a pen that works” she muttered softly, almost to herself, before throwing a glance back in Luuk’s direction. “I’d wanted to make this place a little more secure, but I guess it’ll have to wait until tomorrow, after I’ve had the chance to do some shopping.”

[Ashen]

The calm of their quiet meal was a welcome reprieve after the long day they’d had, and Luuk was able to dismiss thoughts of their new reality for more idle, complacent ones of their food. The wings were too mild, the soda too flat, the calzone too greasy; for a moment, he could convince himself he was at a fast food restaurant on campus, eating the food prepared for students pushing through just one more test, one more paper, students just like him. It he let himself, he could almost believe nothing had changed at all.

Once they finished with their meal, Luuk began clearing their trash into the bag he’d brought the food in. He raised a brow at Natalie’s suggestion to wake up early and check the news. Such a statement reminded him of their age gap, and he chuckled lightly. “Or we can check the internet,” he suggested instead, already abandoning the trash bag to grab his phone. He navigated to his browser, but he hesitated, fingers lingering nervously over the on-screen keyboard. Would their pursuers be able to track his IP address, track his tracking them? Now he was definitely being paranoid, he thought as he opened a tab in incognito mode.

He browsed three different news sources, and there was nothing out of the ordinary on any of them. A robbery here, an inspiring story there; there was nothing about Natalie’s apartment, nor about the man who had tried to shoot them. He closed out all the tabs, double-checked he had closed them, then put his phone back in his pocket. He’d check again come morning, but he wasn’t sure if no news was good news or not.

When he looked up, he saw Natalie fiddling with a pen at the door. “Oh,” Luuk mumbled, looking around the room for where he had placed his things. “You should have just asked. I’ve got loads of pens. Perks of being a student.” He paused, then corrected, “Perks of having been a student.” Luuk approached his bags and spent a couple minutes digging around the bottom of one. After an apology for how long he’d taken, he pulled out the writing implement and uncapped it, then ran it over his hand to ensure it worked. Satisfied, he held it out to Natalie.

As she took it, Luuk shifted awkwardly. He watched her for a moment, waiting to see what she would do, what circles she would ink into her skin. Ever curious, he cocked his head, and he asked, “What are you going to do?” He drew closer, and his voice grew lower. “Are you going to reinforce the door? The lock?” A nervous gaze swept the room, settling at the window, shut and covered. His new hesitance gave way to his need for knowledge, his desire to perfect what he knew he could do. “If you can rewrite locks, that could be useful during… this.” After thinking on it a moment, he asked, “Can you show me how?”

[Namingtoohard]

More than happy to gloss over her old-fashioned ways of thinking, Natalie waited patiently for Luuk to produce another pen. She took the moment to replace the cap on the one she was holding and toss it into the bin casually. That seemed the only appropriate place for it, useless as it had proven. The older woman accepted the new one with a nod of appreciation, before quickly testing it on her own skin, despite the fact that Luuk had done the same thing just a few moments earlier. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust his judgement, but…well, a craftsman never trusted other people with their tools. Whilst the lines were still thin and the ink flowed less consistently than she would have liked, it would serve its purpose for now.

“I can do all of those things.” Natalie’s response to her apprentice’s questions were simple, and she offered them without looking up from her palm. She would pause only when Luuk asked if she could show him, hesitating for just a moment, with the pen hovering a few centimetres above the surface of her skin. After a moment of silent internal debate, Natalie would nod, before walking over to the bed to take a seat next to him.

“We’ll start with reinforcing the door, I think. We probably can’t change much about the door itself without our work being visible from the outside, which would be a dead giveaway. But if we lengthen the screws that are holding the hinges in place, it’ll be much harder for someone to break the door down with brute force.” Natalie started with a simple explanation, whilst she was finishing off the circle that would serve as the base of her spell. The more technical details would follow soon after – she’d take thing slowly, and explain the rationale behind each line she added.

As was the case with most of her instruction. Natalie wasn’t content to simply explain. She did the first set of hinges herself, before passing the pen to Luuk, and instructing him to do the second. He was more likely to remember the details that way, or so she thought. Of course, she’d stay close by to offer assistance – this was no trial by fire, and she was happy to walk him through the process as slowly as necessary.

Once she was confident Luuk’s own spell was satisfactory, Natalie would send him off to use it, before making a quick trip to the bathroom. She’d take a brief moment to wash her hands clean of the ink she had used for their first change, before moving to retake her seat on the edge of the bed. Next, she decided, they’d focus on rewriting the existing locks. That seemed easier than trying to add entirely new ones to the door, and would provide her with a small opportunity to test Luuk’s creativity a little.

“We’ll rewrite the locks next. This time, though, I’m not going to spoon-feed you the answer. Or not the first part, at least. Tell me – what change would you make to the lock’s personal history to get the result we’re after?”

Natalie already had a response in mind, of course. Personally, she would have rewritten the object’s personal history to say that the previous visitor had snapped the key off inside the lock, forcing the owner to change the internal mechanism before he could rent the room out again. She’d be curious to see if Luuk came up with a similar answer, or imagined something else entirely. Either way, this was a skill he’d need to practice if he ever wanted to work this magic on his own.

[Ashen]

While Natalie explained the reasoning behind the magic she was using to reinforce the door, Luuk found himself subconsciously moving towards his backpack, wanting to grab a notebook and fill the pages with more notes that only he would be able to make sense of. But he stopped himself, figuring such a distraction would take away from the task at hand. While a valuable teaching moment for sure, their current task was far too important to risk him messing up just because he wanted to memorize Natalie’s words later. Their very lives depending on him getting this right.

He raised a brow at the offered pen, but he obliged, doing as Natalie had done to alter the second hinge as well. Luuk made the familiar shape in his hand, and he filled it with the lines his mentor had. He checked with her to make sure his work was accurate, then he changed the other hinge just as Natalie had the first. Impressed with himself, he sat to admire his work while Natalie cleaned off her hands.

She returned from the bathroom with more ideas, more ways to protect themselves, more things Luuk itched to write down. But Natalie didn’t take the pen back from his hands; instead, she turned to him with a new task. She wanted him to come up with a way to change the locks. The question took him by surprise, but Luuk quickly shook that off and started thinking of the best options he had. This was a new test, and as always, he wanted to impress his teacher.

Luuk turned his attention to the door, to the keyhole, then fished his room key out of his pocket. He traced its design with his finger, then felt over the hole in the door. He was silent all the while, different ideas flashing through his mind, and he wanted to determine which would keep them safest. Finally, after several minutes of his wordless pondering, Luuk met Natalie’s gaze again. “We change the type of lock,” he announced, words bordering on unconfident. He motioned towards the keyhole. “A combination lock would be too obvious from the outside, of course, and just changing the pins inside this one would be too easy. Plus the master key downstairs might be able to bypass that anyway. So…” He looked at the key in his hand again. “A warded lock,” he said, his voice finding confidence as he put more faith in his answer. “They were common up until thieves started carrying around skeleton keys, in the Middle Ages, but because they’re not popular anymore, I doubt anyone around here would have skeleton keys. Besides, it would look the same on the outside, so who knows how long it would take anyone to even notice anything had been changed anyway?”

The cogs in his brain turning, Luuk spent several more minutes mumbling to himself about the benefits of the now-archaic lock design. Realizing he was rambling, he looked back to his mentor, his cheeks coloring. “Oh, sorry,” he mumbled, “I just mean… What if we change the lock from the inside, so that it looks a bit like a maze? Warded locks were used centuries ago, and they could get really complex depending on how skilled your metalworker was, since you had to shape the metal in such a way that only a specific key would be able to fit in and not hit any of the blocks—the wards—inside. But with magic, we could make something like that, and no one would even notice anything was different until they tried to unlock the door.”

Before she could comment on his ramblings, Luuk grabbed a notebook from his backpack and opened to one of the few yet unmarked pages. He spent a few moments drawing the inside of a warded lock, showing the maze-like intricacies that a modern key would crash against. “So we change the lock to something like this, and we’re safe even from the master key downstairs, since that thing is made for a completely different kind of lock.” He offered the drawing to her. “We’ll have to change our keys, too, but they’d be the only ones able to open the door.”

Glancing down at his key again, he wondered if he was ready for such precise work. He was still new, his magic still inexperienced; would he be able to create something so refined? Casting aside his doubts, Luuk drew a new circle onto his hand, then chose the markings for it. As he did, he explained aloud why he chose what he did, giving Natalie a chance to interject if she thought of any improvements. He quickly realized the complexity of his ideas, and before long his circle was a mess of intersecting lines and shapes that he could no longer make sense of. He excused himself to wash them off, just to start again. Even if he was happy his history studies were coming in handy here, he did wish he didn’t jump to something so difficult. With his second circle slightly better than his first, and his left hand hurting from all the careful drawing, Luuk offered his hand to Natalie so that she could check his work. Once she was satisfied, he’d try to change the lock, hoping it worked. Already tired, he realized he hadn’t even started on the keys yet.