Crystal Cavern: Double Team (P.K. and Omac)

[P.K.]

Oh ya I'm fine. I've just... stressed myself out so myc I broken out on my hands its just not starting to go away. but work is so hectic right now, I'm the only car hop scheduled during my shifts... and for the past 2 days its been 2-3 people there and we've gotten hit hard, So I come home later then I want to, tired and with no energy to get one the things I NEED to get done at home. so I sit down and don't get back up even though I REALLY need to

Idk about switching but I'd love to pick up/start over the DR who RP
My replies might be slow but I will be sure to reply.

[Omac]

We could totally pick up where we left off, if that's what you wanted to do!

Let's just take it slow then. You have your hands full and I need to learn to trust myself as a writer again. Free-writing Omactober has been so amazing because I hit every plot point I wanted to hit so far. I need to do that again. Which will take time, but I don't want to stop my RP's either. So he's just take this a little slow, while continuing both, and working on ourselves. Deal?

[P.K.]

I'm not sure if we want to pick up, or start over. but I'm good with either. if you want to pick up then I can go to an admin to ask for it to be brought back from the recycle when I get back from work?

Deal we might be slow but we arn't gonna give up this rp! I'll do my best not to let it hit Recycle but if it ever dose I'll make sure to bring it back out!

[Omac]

See now I'm getting anxiety over it. I have to find out how to deal with that.

Alright you can message the mods when you're ready. Here's the links A and B.

[P.K.]

deep breaths! and out! you got this!

There they have been brought back!

[Omac]

It's not that kind of panic attack but thanks. It's more like a guilt attack though I'm now realizing it's more-so shame. How do you fight shame?

I see! Okay, I'll need to skim through them before I post. My goal is to do both of them. It should keep me distracted for a bit since there is a Nintendo direct in the morning and I'm really excited followed by my doctors appoitment on the 2nd where I'm really nervous.

[P.K.]

Realizing that you really don't have anything to be ashamed of.

Take your time

[Omac]

I'm not sure that's true. Well, I mean it is, but that doesn't stop it when I believe it's true despite all logic saying I don't. I'm not sure how to turn it off. When I start RPing I think about how many times I abandoned my RP's for the psych hospital. I just imagine pacing outside with that large brick wall, even the other patients thinking I was weird. It's hard. I've spent all of my life thinking I was this crazy, doomed to be timed bomb, lazy, useless person and now I know none of that was my fault. So on a logical level I know I have nothing to be ashamed of and yet on a emotional level I can't fight it.

I will!

[P.K.]

It can be a struggle... I can understand that. and I can't make any claim that it will be easy. but I know that you've got this.

[Omac]

Here's how my brain is going tonight.

I should work on my new free-writing project where I knowingly make mistakes. >>> But I should really get some reading done >>> But my Pokemon Fanfiction is reaching it's season finale >>> but I have to play the game to finish it >>> When's the last time I played Figment >>> Maybe I'll just work on a small project >>> No I need to do my RP's with PK >>> No, I need to read my book before it has to go back in the library >>> No, I should watch that show Golden wanted me to watch >>> No really I should watch Ninja turtles after all I spent on that boxset >>> I should really just work on my free writing project >>> But my RP's should come before random test projects >>>>> Oh crap it's 2:38 AM.

That's over an hour wasted arguing with myself on what I SHOULD do. Never once do I ask what I want to do.