New Skies New Home [IC-M] ~REBOOTED~

[Yggdrasil_Hugger]

He followed, deep in thought. Claria had seemed... reluctant to agree, not to mention basically saying 'k' after he asked her to be his bonded. He didn't think she was all that ready for anything, much less mating and children. Though, she was straightforward, and e admired her for that, and she hadn't said anything of that sort. So, she was reluctant, but not overly against him. But, it's not like they had any choice. They had to mate, or they would be killed. And though be being bonded and having children were not necessarily linked, Shin thought they should go hand in hand. He didn't like the prospect of impregnating some random woman, then disappearing. He wanted to be there for his children, and he wanted a mother that also did. Which brought him to an earlier comment she had made. Even if they didn't love each other, they would love their children together.

[Lumi]

Alaura's brow furrowed in worry at the far off look in his eyes. Had she perhaps said something or insinuated something unpleasant? Lifting Ginny from her lap and setting her on the ground she stood up and approached him. "Nikkolai...?" He seemed to come back from whatever he had been thinking, but his mood had dropped considerably. She frowned softly at his tone, picking up his sadness. Out of the corner of her eyes she noticed Shin and Claria approach and nodded in their general direction, she heard Claria, but she didn't hear what she said before they wandered off towards the lake.

She worried about Nikkolai deeply, of course they were open and honest with each other, but sometimes she felt as if her bonded wasn't as open as she wished. She understood that he had more of past then she did so it may be harder to be an 'open book' to a new relationship, but she couldn't help but feel a little useless. She wanted him to be able to talk to her and she would hold him and listen and provide him with all the comfort he could want. At his request the brunette nodded and kissed his cheek softly, before walking off to the caves.

[AxelVanDeriz]

Nikkolai went to show Shin the fishing hut he'd made with the help of a few others. Offering it as a sort of peace offering, further explaining they didn't need to be fighting as long as they had other needs that were more important.

Later that evening, at fireside, when everyone had gathered, he started with "I'm sure some of you still question my motives, because of that, I will give you... a vivid picture of my own past, hopefully what I tell you will help you better understand that I am not your enemy..." and then, in staggering detail, he began to tell the story of his last mate, his last clutch of children. How they met their end through the hands of poachers, and how he only had a scar to remind himself of that day. Lifting his shirt to expose his left side, you could see the darker flesh of scar tissue, a nasty looking scar that looked to be a nastier wound at one point, from something double headed stabbed in, quickly cauterized the wound, and yanked out again.

[Yggdrasil_Hugger]

Shin was incredibly grateful for the fishing hut and agreed with Nikkolai. They didn't need to fight anymore, not when they had more important things to do. But that didn't mean Shin fell right into Nikkolai's arms. He was still suspicious of Nikkolai, and it would take time for him to trust the Draconian.
At the campfire later, he listened intently to Nikkolai's story and examined the wound as scrutinously as possible. Afterward, he stared into the flames for a moment. It was playing odd tricks with his night vision, changing and shifting brightly. He shook his head, then turned to Claria.
"I'm going to fish for a while. I will see you later." He took a torch, and made his way to the fishing hut. He tied the torch upright to the dock poles, and lowered himself into the water. After a few minutes, dark shapes drifted around near the light. Using his magari yari, he speared them and placed them in a basket.
He had a lot of feelings, and needed time to process them. He stabbed a fish. What was he going to do about Claria? Stab. And what about children? Stab. Could he handle being a father? Stab. That brought him to Nikkolai's children. Why had he told everyone that, in such detail? Stab. What was stopping poachers from coming here? Stab. Could he protect the group, if he couldn't protect his mate and children? Stab. Could Shin protect his mate and children? Stab. Which brought him back to Claria and children. He liked her, but he could tell she wasn't... not excited, but... dammit, what was the word? Up for. She wasn't up for children and a mate. Stab. Could they work things out? Stab. If they didn't, what would happen? Stab. What if they had children, then split up? Stab. Who would get the children? STAB. Would she take the children from him? STAB. What would happen if their children died? STAB. Could he move on from that? STAB. Could anyone? STAB! He looked down, realizing he was covered in sweat. He had gathered a large pile of fish. Drifting downstream was the remains of a fish. It had been completely split in half. He was breathing hard. He couldn't tell how long he had been doing this for, but he could tell it was a rather long time. The torch had long since burned out.
He sighed, and removed his magari yari, then his shirt and pants. He slipped underwater, his gills soaring in ectasy. It had been a long time since had used them. His eyes edged everything in silver, in laser focus. The water cooled his body, and his mind. His thoughts grew calmer, sleeker, blue-er, if that made any sense. He couldn't tell. He kicked off from where he was, and glided through the water. He was calm. He was happy. He was peaceful. Before he knew it, his body had changed, and he was a sleek blue dragon.
He laughed silently. Maybe... maybe he could just stay down here. Maybe... leave all of it behind. Live alone, as a dragon, wild, free, powerful. He rather wanted to, but a thought snagged persistantly at his mind. Claria. He couldn't leave her, could he?

[Lumi]

From her position beside Nikkolai, Alaura listened to his story. She knew something had been bothering him for some time, and to find out it was a memory as horrifying as this brought unshed tears to her eyes. At the end of his recalling she wiped her eyes of the few tears that had escaped, she felt...well sad. Nobody deserves to be alone- and to have their loved ones torn from them so abruptly and in such a gruesome way- it's no wonder Nikkolai had been so closed off. The atmosphere around the campfire was tense and quite a couple of people nodded in Nikkolai's direction, some offered their condolences, while others returned to their own dens.

Everyone had their own way with dealing with things and that made Alaura wonder what her bonded had been doing this whole time to cope. She wanted to comfort him, so she herself stood up and held his hand. Whatever kind of support she could give she would.

[Kortaga]

Claria had been surprised when Nikkolai presented Shin with his own little fishing hut. It had amenities and everything. She had thanked Nikkolai for the gift and thought that even Shin was happy. Skeptical as he was towards Nikkolai even he could not be mad about this. If Claria was correct by what she knew no one else had their own private building for what they did. It must be Nikkolai trying to show him favoritism. Nikkolai handled people very well, he seemed to know how to get to almost everyone in the tribe. The fact that Shin and quite a few others had been close to rebellion was a worrisome time. It may come up again in the future but as Nikko had been saying, the girl would soon be in their time and with that came settling things down and getting everyone ready for children. Claria still felt uncomfortable about the whole thing but thankfully after the fish hut she was able to curl up and sleep most of the rest of the day away.

Something she had not expected was seeing Shin when she woke up. Without words she could tell that he had been watching her sleep, not in a weird way but in a protective way. When she was vulnerable he was making sure she was fine. It was weird…unsettling in a way and yet…it relaxed her. She never slept well and usually woke up from a bizarre dream.

As the campfire was made Nikkoi retold the story retold the story of what happened to him and it cause Claria a few questions…do not get her wrong, she did feel bad for him. Nothing will ever replace that type of loss. She just, felt like there were too many unknowns. Would poachers as they were called come here? Were they just being used as cattle by the pin heads? How could she get strong enough to stop what happened to Nikkolai to herself? Only one way really…

Shin mentioned that he would see her later and left. She had stayed by his side most of the day now like the other females did and it annoyed her to a degree. She was better than acting how they did but yet, now that she knew what Shin and her were trying to accomplish…she wanted to figure him out and make things work. She needed to take a risk with her heart…she would be the problem here not Shin.

She got up and in the night decided that she herself would go to their training fields. She hoped that Alaura could tend to Nikko and Borris and Gretchen were doing well. She picked up her stone blade and started to swing it in her forms she was used to. She needed to advance this stance and really make herself stronger. She was the night shift anyway so she needed to keep watch with the others. Swinging her blade she felt herself talking with…someone in her head.

“Thinking of opening your heart to someone…you are fool. Look what happened to a superior dragon! You can’t even transform yet due to how cold and emotionless you are. Might as well save yourself and never worry about another being. Am I right Clair?”
Swing her sword and in their part strike she flowed with blade through the air. The weight of the blade was really the problem right now and she was compensating with the months’ worth of strength she built up with the builders.

“I don’t want to be like that…I want to have a family…I want to be happy.”
“What…you think that fake happiness between two people will fill some void? You have no void Clair you are solid Ice. You are right now what they need. Pure strength. You need to be able to cut down any danger…even the ones in this very camp…”
“There are no dangers in this camp…only the beast outside and the pinheads above…”
“If Shin had revolted…would you have tried to strike down everyone who joined him? Wouldn’t you have done it in their sleep? For the Clan right? Not because…you secretly…want…”

Claria whipped her sword and stabbed it into the ground. “SHUT UP!” She felt herself breathing heavily…and she was certainly not performing night guard duties anymore. She placed a hand on her chest and tried taking in deep breaths. Was this…a panic attack? She never panicked…her heartbeat was getting worse…she sat on the ground and clenched her fist.

“If you stopped resisting…you would calm down…fufufu”
“Enough me…just enough…” it came out as a soft wine of defeat...

She was slowly…very slowly catching back up. She was safe…everyone was fine…she would make a real relationship work. She thought about some of the early chemistry between her and Nikko and felt her heart pang...would Shin lose interest too? He could find another girl right? They made sure they had plenty of girls to boys to populate a lot. Some guys were going to have two girls right? Gods…why was she here.

For the first time since the first night she came here…she felt tears begin to flow and she started to cry. Just a soft pretty cry that she meant to put away eventually when she needed to face the world again…

She would try her best to not give into these thought…she didn’t want to be alone…

"You can't have what they have...little Clair..."

[Yggdrasil_Hugger]

Shin sighed, and a cascade of bubbles ascended, him with them after a moment. He surfaced and looked at the stars. Tiny pinpricks of light, extending as far as he could see. He stared into the cosmos, and thought, Wherever we come from, it's out there. He wondered if his family missed him. He couldn't picture their faces, but he felt a warm glow that came with what he imagined a family. His body shrank, and he returned to human form. He sat there, treading water for a moment, and a single tear rolled down his face. He turned and swam to the dock, and pulled himself from the water. He pulled on his short, pants, and placed the magari yari in its sleeve. His thoughts were clearer and calmer. He wondered if being near the water, or in it rather, helped his mind. He grabbed the basket of fish, and walked to camp. A faint sound came in on the wind, and his ears twitched. He placed the basket down, and walked toward the sound. He pulled out his magari yari, and walked forward quietly. He came through the bushes to find Claria crying. He put the magari yari back in its sleeve, and rushed forward. He placed a hand on her shoulder. He didn't know what the say, or what happened. What he did know, however, is that he needed to calm her down. "Shh, shh-shhh shh... It's okay." he whispered.

[Kortaga]

Claria had been so caught up into herself that she did not even hear the sounds of someone coming up to her. She had slowed down her crying but still she knew she looked like a wreak. When she felt the firm hand press down onto her shoulder she glared up as if the seven hells were about to embrace whomever dared touch her. So much fury packed from her heart to her fist that she felt her nails break flesh and a vague blurring of her vision from this emotion, or just her tears. The only thing that suddenly cut this vengeance out of her was a very soft and calming noise.

"Shh, shh-shhh shh... It's okay."

She felt all this pent up aggression just drop into the pit of her stomach and there was no room for anything else. She felt her release back out what she had eaten. One and done thankfully but the acidic taste made her clench her sides. She was disgusted with herself for a number of reasons and thinking on it perhaps too late she tried to collect her hair in one hand. Since when did looking nice come into her mind?

As she tried to bring herself back to normalcy she reach up with her and to place it onto Shins. As she cleared her throat and gave a squeeze to his hand she attempted to sound strong…though more than likely not much considering what happened. “I’ll…collect myself now…thank you.” She would not apologize but she would be damned if she was going to act like a slobbering weak girl in front of him. That is not why he was here…he wanted a strong woman. She made attempted to wipe her face and rearrange her hair but if Shin managed to glance into her eyes the sadness was lingering. It would be a while before her usual confidence clicked back into place and the mask came back. Despite everything she said she did not let go of his hand.

[Yggdrasil_Hugger]

Shin smiled reassuringly. "You're welcome. Now, if you don't mind." He squatted down in front of her. "May I ask why you were crying?" he sounded vaguely worried, as though he was a real person, and not an autonomous machine. His eyes found their way into hers, and he got lost in them. They were beautiful. They were prettier than the stars... or something. He wasn't really good at comparisons, or poetry. Or anything other than being off-putting or fishing.

[AxelVanDeriz]

Nikkolai, still distant, smiled at everyone, thanking them for their heartfelt condolences. And then, as Alaura held his hand, he abruptly pulled her into a heavy hearted hug. It wasn't a tight hug, per se, but it was a sad, strong hug.

After all this he retreated back to his den for the evening.

Borris, knowing Nikkolai just wanted some time to himself, stood guard just outside the mouth of the cave.