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Thread: Round One [Jester-vs-Bard]-Judge Omac

  1. #11
    Give into Decay...
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    The temple roared itself once more. It had grown tiresome of the battle. The surrounding trees began to wither and die. They dissipated in a matter of seconds, blasting into puffs of smoke and ash. The temple itself began to crack with beams of light which oozed steam and bled with a yellowish orange liquid. The blinding lights now oozed with steam and bled with fire. They attempted to banish away any of the remaining shadows, leaving the warriors alone to fight for their glory. There was a brief moment of silence as neither fighter was allowed to move. Both frozen in the positions they were in before. Not even their weapons would move from the air they previously ripped through. All they could do was watch... and listen.

    We come on down on a mission to save you
    Your footloose town won't even know you're gone
    Our flying boombox was built to take you
    Up to the stars where your groove belongs

    There was a soft voice as the temple itself seemed to bounce according to a beat. Most of the shadows may have vanished, but one remained, as it danced with elegance, to the beat. Maybe, not so elegant. It was quite ridiculous, really. As the beat increased the song began to increase as well. The figure seemed to sit at the top of the temple as it looked up the sky. High above the temple was the light of shining stars, which also pulsed along with the beat, and then began to fall towards them.

    Somebody run and check the radar
    All systems go

    The shining glowing stars fell to the earth in blasts of colors. It wasn't a threat for the Jester or the Bard, but it did shatter against the temple and force more and more cracks to open. Surrounding them was the increasingly catchy song, tempting then to dance along. They may have tried to move. They couldn't even if they wanted to. The temple didn't want them to give it anymore. It had grown bored of it's toys. The figure at the top simply continued to sing, taunting them with it's shallow dancing. It wanted them to know they had no control. They couldn't obey the groove, even if they wanted to.

    Hang on tight, we'll push the speed of light
    Obey the groove tonight, we'll make you move tonight
    Hang on tight, we'll boogie out of sight
    Don't fight it, we're united tonight

    The ground beneath them became painful to touch, as it cracked with what seemed like boiling lava. It's sizzling bubbles popped along with the beat, much like everything else.It rumbled below them like a stomach who raged with starvation. Small cracks through the temple broke apart to pour the hot liquid around them. With it, came the faint smell of burnt toast. It wasn’t lava that had surrounded them, it was all butter. Sizzling hot, sticky, flesh melting butter.

    We cosmonauts are not afraid to shake it
    Drop it like it's hot, no second thoughts

    It refused to touch them, wrapping itself around the temple as it bubbled with anticipation. It simply wanted to observe, much like the shadows, and that’s when it became painfully clear where the warriors really were. The temple, the shadows, the forest, the hellish butter… it was all alive, it was all one. It was united.


    We got our orders and there's no mistakin'
    You're coming with us, so don't resist us

    It all moved in perfect harmony. The main shadow seemed to stand out in the crowd of the few remaining ones, but they all moved to the same design. It shook it's fists, with a twist of it's thighs. It slid through the air mimicking a previous attempt of the Jester. It wanted to move and the more it did the more it started to become less like a shadow. It waved towards them, inviting them to follow, but of course they could not move.

    Somebody oughta take a picture
    For the folks back home

    With a snap of the shadows fingers, the illusions of the Bard's mother and the Jester's family became more solid. They started to move along to the beat. As they started to dance and sing along with the shadow in a much more faint tone, as he followed with repeating the chorus. He danced, he shook his body in a number of inhuman ways. The temple also roared along with them as if the entire area was all part of the never ending song.

    Hang on tight, we'll push the speed of light
    Obey the groove tonight, we'll make you move tonight
    Hang on tight, we'll boogie out of sight
    Don't fight it, we're united tonight

    The lone shadow still danced between them. As it moved, it forced their attention onto it. With each look the figure began to take full form. It now looked like a youthful lad with a dead grey complexion. "Well, well, well... It appears we are at the end of the show. Pity, I was having so much fun. Watching the song and dance, yes yes. Very fun." It spun around and took a bow. "You may call me Kozzar. I am a demon of Decay and I will be your judge. Don't worry, it won't hurt. At least, it wouldn't have..." He looked at them with an innocent blink, his pointed teeth dripping with a black ooze and his eyes beginning to spin around in his head. It was almost like cartoon character. The word pounced alongside Kozzar's dancing as the temple itself seemed to sing words that were difficult to understand.

    Somebody run and check the radar
    All systems go

    He looked at the Bard with a simple humming and then to the Jester with a small kick. "It wouldn't have, if only you had given in." He took a deep breathe and smiled, before finishing up his song.

    Hang on tight, we'll push the speed of light
    Obey the groove tonight, we'll make you move tonight
    Hang on tight, we'll boogie out of sight
    Don't fight it, we're united tonight

    Kozzar roared, as the family members and all the other remaining shadows that had escaped the light was filled with a burning flame. Some of them started to turn to dust. Some of them simply screamed silently. They tried to escape him, they tried to run. Their agony was real. Illusions or not, their pain was real. He sucked in and absorbed them right into his mouth, and finished up his song.

    Hang on tight, we'll push the speed of light
    Obey the groove tonight, we'll make you move tonight
    Hang on tight, we'll boogie out of sight
    Don't fight it, we're united tonight

    Hang on tight, we'll push the speed of light
    Obey the groove tonight, we'll make you move tonight
    Hang on tight, we'll boogie
    Don't fight it, we're united tonight, tonight, tonight
    We are united tonight, tonight, tonight
    We are united

    The music came to a close as the demon looked towards them. He poked at them and simply laughed, his sinister tone echoing around them. "You could have become part of the music, you could have obeyed the groove. Now you will never be free again. One of you will die here." He turned to the Bard, "What are you without your music? Just a scared little girl? Runt of the family, really. You went so far to impress your mother, and where is she now? She's in my tummy, yes yes! Now you know you'll never be a part of the groove, no no. Never be with her again." He then turned to the Jester. "I wanted a show out of you two, and I definitely got that, but now the joke has to end. I know how you die, yes yes! Kozzar knows how everybody died. Yours was very much like what is coming, and you could have escaped it, if you just gave in..." He shrugged it off, "Whatever. Let's finish this."

    Kozzar vanished in a puff of smoke. The arena became almost completely silent. The air became completely still. Not a bubble of the butter or a crack of the temple. There was not a gush of wind or the pull of temptation. There was only the breathing. Perhaps, it was theirs, and perhaps it was that of the arena itself… but there was no escape. The temple was breaking apart at the seams. The butter surrounded them as it awaited an action. The warriors could have taken high ground if all the trees hadn't melted to ash, the ash blinding the surrounding area so that only the glowing temple and the warriors remained. With that, they could move again... whatever action had proceeded them was once again in motion as if nothing had happened at all.

    -
    ----------------------------

    Each player gets one final post.


    The seals have been broken...
    The Purgament has begun...
    The Piper's out of the basement...
    The Dead have started to boogie...
    Decay is Coming

    Spoiler: The winner is... 

  2. #12
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    *Is this woman insane?* Bri thought as the whip extended over the whirling shield of chain in front of her, aiming the blades down her chest. She gave the woman some acknowledgement of ingenuity and creativity, but with the blade so close she could see her own face looking back, it was a simple idea of moving her chain just enough to strike the whip and save her flesh.

    Or it would have, if not a deep rumbling from behind froze her in spot. Literally.

    Bri felt a cold shiver run through her mind as the world stopped save the growl of the temple behind her. She could only watch at the mist and trees were washed away in light, their only remains the fluttering cloud of ash. The hiss of steam as liquid poured from the temple, pouring from the cracks that eminsted light, flames dancing upon them as it flowed down the temple walls.

    *What is going on here?*

    Bri was given little thought as both music and song began to play from nowhere and everywhere at once starting soft from the temple. Only one shadow remained, dancing along with the tune with grace and elegance. She hated to admit that it danced even smoother than she could hold, it's weightless body making a mockery of dance. She could only track it with her eyes, her vision glued to it despite her mind running over what in the world was going on here. The few glimpses of her opponent revealed that she was not alone in this.

    The world seemed to be breaking down as stars shimmered in the skies, falling upon the ground in brilliant rainbow hues that forced more light from the temple, much like sparks of a forge from impure metals breaking apart in the heat. The bizarre song continued as heat rose from the temple grounds, the stone almost searing her flesh as more ooze bubble up to the surface, the pop and sizzle a symphonic addition to the song that played above. Even if she wanted to cry out in pain, to seek some relief from the flames that scorched her feet. Only one small part of her mind addressed the ridiculous situation with one question.

    *Why do I smell butter?*

    The butter surrounded them, encircling them in a golden light as it covered the ground. From the dancing shadow, the glowing bubbling butter, and the light pouring from the temple made her realize one thing. Everything was alive, and it was all tied together in one. From the strange skeletons and familiar shadows, to now the bubbling butter and glowing temple. All following along with the shadow that seemed to be the head of it all. Which then it turned to face them, and she could finally see it's face. A young lad, not even upon the age of manhood, but with the greyed skin of the deceased. She could only stare upon the strange being before he spoke, making her mind shiver at the insanity behind it all.

    Kozzar applauded them, thanking them both for their entertainment with them. A demon by his own words, and the one who brought them this place. He was a demon of decay, and the one who brought him here as their judge. He insulted them upon their unwillingness to give in, to let the temple win and have the shadows claim them. The song played on even more as Kozzar drew the shadows into him. It was almost haunting as the shadow of her mother was consumed by the demon, a silent scream in her mouth before vanishing into the demon.

    Finally the music came to an end, the world silent as the demon looked to them. Bri began then planning her move, trying to will her body to move as the demon poked at them, upset at them not giving in. That they would never be free again, and one would die here. Kozzar turned to Bri, questioning what she was without her music. Calling her a scared little girl, the run of the family. That she had tried so hard to impress her mother, who was supposedly now a part of his tummy. Finally he turned to the jester, letting her know that while it had enjoyed their show, it was time for the joke to come to an end.

    Bri couldn't help but burn inside, wanting nothing more than to rush the demon, to gut him with her bare hands. She never got a chance before the demon disappeared in a puff of smoke, letting the world go silent and giving her a few moments to think, still trying to will the muscles in her legs to move. All the while fuming under the surface.

    *Like hell I'm dancing to the beat of a damnable temple of some bizarre demon. I'm a dwarven bard, and I move to my own beat.* Bri thought, only for a thought to burn through her mind, steeling her ideas and banishing away the insanity of the moment. She was a bard, the sword wasn't her true weapon. It was her instrument and her words. No force on the lands or heavens could ever change that, and it was about time to show these fools who they dared insult.

    It was time for her song. The one seared into her flesh, built up over the ages of practice and tempering. It was a crowning moment, the one time she outshone her mother when it came to song. Why not have it be the perfect song for the end of this show. With a mental smile she relaxed the muscles that would send her sailing forward away from harm's reach. Instead, she began to prepare another set of muscles, so when freedom returned to her limbs, she could begin.

    Having tensed her muscles, the second she could move again, it took all her mind to not smack herself in the chest. Bri let out a smile as she grabbed the spot between the chains, feeling metal bite into the sides of her hands as the spinning chain wrapped around it. A small chuckle grew in her throat as she fixed a fiery stare upon her opponent, an almost manic glee shining beneath the surface.

    "Seems whatever bizarre spirit wants a show. So it's time to give you my all, and the song I made mine." Bri spoke with joy, pulling the whip fight to her, shivering some as the blood dropped from her hand, mixing with the sweat that ran along her skin. She could feel her heart hammering in her chest, the sickly sweet scent of sweat and blood mixing with the melted butter, an oddly comforting mix of scents. With her free hand. She pulled the blade free from the stone behind her, listening to the gasp of steel being freed from the stone.

    She took in a deep breath, tasting the buttery air on her tongue.

    "On a cold winter morning
    In the time before the light
    In flames of deaths eternal reign
    We ride towards the fight."

    "When the darkness has fallen down
    And the times are tough alright
    The sound of evil laughter falls
    Around the world tonight."

    The song wasn't made by her, nor was it one that she had a hand in making. It had one importance to her, one that stuck with her heart strong and true. It was the first song she had sung on her own, and one that she spent days working out the moves and song with her brusk voice to make it match the pace and tempo. It nearly drove her mad, the hours spent perfecting the song and dance, remembering her body as it protested just existing as she rested, the blood drawn from pressing to hard upon the strings of her violin. The number of bows she had broken just from how demanding the song was. How many times she had flubbed a single note with an odd twist on her dance.

    "Fighting hard, fighting on for the steel
    Through the wastelands evermore
    The scattered souls will feel the hell
    Bodies wasted on the shores."

    "On the blackest plains in Hell's domain
    We watch them go on
    Through the fire and pain and once again we know."

    Bri began to dance then, shifting from the right and left in a simple two step, twirling her left and right in a circle, listening to the chain and metal sing in a cacophonic mixture to her ears. It reminded her of the nights where the song had invaded her dreams, worry of missing the notes bringing jeers and laughter as she faltered. Even awake it followed her, working her fingers to the bone just to master this song. Time when she was up until the break of dawn practicing this song. Exhaustion had gnawed at her, the intense tempo and beat somewhat similar to this bizarre place. A gutteral drive to prove herself victorious, whether in this supposed battle to the death, or the crippling trial that was making one's own name, to come out of the curtails of her mother.

    "So now we fly ever free
    We're free before the thunderstorm
    On towards the wilderness
    Our quest carries on."

    "Far beyond the sundown
    Far beyond the moonlight
    Deep inside our hearts our hearts and all our souls."

    Bri moved then from her two step, leaping forward on her right foot, throwing the chain and whip far to her right as she did, not daring cry out as the blade tore the flesh of her hand. She could taste the blood as she landed on the ball of her foot, pushing off again to her left with a small hop, moving fiercely like fire. She began to weave around them, her body flowing like molten steel as she closed in, the glimmering lake of butter reminding her of the swarthy golden men standing in front of her, all of them pounding their fists on the tables. They beat like drums for her, pouring on the beat as she danced and sang, pouring her soul into that song, knowing that it was the start of her legacy there.

    "So far away we wait for the day
    For the lives all so wasted and gone
    We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days

    Finally Bri moved in, closing the distance with another jump, covering the distance as she pulled her blade into her side, turning her body again to give more oomph into the lunge. Far be it that she wanted to kill this woman. While the jester had frustrated her, even tried to insult her with the attempt of breaking the strap of her violin case, it didn't warrant death. Despite that, she knew that the strange deity would allow them to so easily pass without bloodshed of some sort. With that thought hanging overhead, she knew she had to give her all into this fight. Never did she want to take this woman down, but she would be damned if she didn't fight for everything she was worth and more.

    "Through the fire and flames we carry on!"

    Bri sung her heart out at that moment, having closed as much distance as possible. Planting her feet firm she finally reacted. Her muscles unfurled like a tensed spring, lashing out in two swift strikes aimed at the woman's chest, willing the blade to pierce her opponents heart. To let the searing heat of her soul burn itself upon the mind of her opponent.

    "Even Dreams, can be a nightmare"
    Spoiler: Click it, I dare ya! 




  3. #13
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    Risus

    Amidst her attack, Risus was struck with an instinctive, cold chill right before being frozen solid in place. For a moment, she was confused. Her face, unable to move or show the emotion, ached sorely before her attention was stolen by the temple behind her opponent. It roared, shined, and oozed a liquid, all of which gave her bad vibes. Then, a soft voice began to sing as the temple bounced along to the beat. If Risus could, she'd blink her eyes multiple times to make sure she wasn't seeing things. She couldn't even cock her head to the side in wonder. Despite not being able to move one bit, the question marks were almost visible above her head. What the hell is this temple on? she wondered. Whatever it was, she wanted to stay far, far away from it.

    As though echoing her thoughts, even stars fell from the sky, hitting the temple like an audience pelting a bad performer with whatever they could get their hands on. Risus couldn't blame the heavens. The performance left a lot to be desired. For starters, it wasn't really enjoyable for its captive audience since they were literally captives. A good performance not only drew in its audience, but also engaged them. If she could she would give them an A for effort, that is until she saw the horrible flame consuming her parents. Her eyes focused solely on them as she witnessed the agony they went through. Her frozen face displayed no change in emotion, but her eyes burned with a blazing fury. If she could, she would attempt to shred the entity apart until not an inch of flesh remained intact. Instead, she was powerless with no control. All she could do was wish that looks could kill. As if that wasn’t enough, the entity jabbed at her one more time. He said the joke was at its end, but the final joke was on him as everything eventually dies. Even he would perish one day.

    Finally, the music came to an end, and movement finally returned to them. Her opponent, seemingly filled with madness, grabbed her chain and let it wrap around her hand. It would only take but a tug for Risus to slice it into pieces, like bread to accompany the smell of burning butter. But Risus was done with this farce, and as soon as her opponent threw her chain sword aside, she retracted it into a sword with a snap. Jabbing it at her opponent, she lashed it into a chain sword while retreating. Although her opponent underestimated how fast she could retract it, she had no doubts the dwarf would be better than her in close combat. Yet this strike was different from all her others. This one showed all her training and experience accumulated into one unique technique. This technique was efficient at leaving many small cuts and personified the death of a thousand cuts. Despite this, she used it with the sole purpose of blocking her opponent and creating distance.

    “I appreciate the beautiful songs, but that Kozzar was right. The curtains must close on this farce. For our encore, I suggest we call that Kozzar down to see if he can truly end us in a just joust!” She turned her head towards the temple, raising her voice.

    “Zugabe! Zugabe! Kozzar! Zugabe!”




    **Zugabe! - Encore!
    Roll for ability - (1d20)[1]

    By mystyc

    Spoiler: My Current RP Personality 

  4. #14
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    The Results


    Alright, guys! I want to start out by saying that I enjoyed this battle from start to finish. Even through delays this battle never lost its momentum. There is more good I can say about it then the bad. Sadly, it’s my job to focus on the bad. The way I did this is a kept to the scale I was given which means being a bit strict in terms of what qualifies as bad, average, and good. There is no 2.3. I also judged Koti first, prior to Rayfire’s final post, and didn’t count up the numbers until now… which means this will be a surprise for both of us.

    I want to touch on something that specifically that effects both of you. The rock scene with the swinging chains in between round three and four was a bit confusing. It confused me, and it looked like you both confused each other. I could understand what was happening, I just felt like that full scene was a bit jarring. You may or may not agree with me. So love me or hate me, here is my thoughts including the score…

    Also full musical numbers is completely impractical but you loved it, your characters loved it, I loved it, and the other judges loved it. So I won’t take anything out from that haha.

    Koti

    Bard

    Writing Style: 8
    -Ideas: 3
    -Flow: 3
    -Conventions: 2

    Effectiveness of Combat: 8
    -Character Consistency: 3
    -Ingenuity: 2
    -Interaction: 3

    Control of the Field: 6
    -Environmental Awareness: 3
    -Strategic Awareness: 2
    -Control of the Fight: 1

    Total: 22

    Important notes:

    You were very consistent with your role. I felt sucked in from the start. You have a talent for keeping a reader captivated. I was impressed with how you utilized your character's past and the emotions that went along with it. The way you both played off your characters was so fun to watch. It will definitely have a lasting impression.

    I noticed as the battle went on you were making more grammatical errors. Some were silly such as “dead!y.” I wasn’t given the impression that you didn’t know about these errors. You seem quite in tune with it. Instead some of these errors felt silly to make, almost rushed. My judge posts were quite rushed as well. You seemed to hold up well despite that, but I feel like you would do a lot better moving forward if you allowed yourself to slow and breathe. You had time, at one point even asked for an extension, but you always posted within the first day rather then utilizing your three days. You’re a great writer, my only advice is that you slow down a bit.

    I only gave you a one when it came to control of the fight. Rayfire took the trees early on, and never felt like he was at the disadvantage. With my scale a 1, 2, or 3 there isn’t a lot of wiggle room there. It seemed like you were trapped, playing to his moves where you mostly dodged and attempted to retaliate instead of taking control of the arena. As for strategic awareness, you dodged attacks easier then I’d expect? There was an attack headed your way from the trees that you simply dodged, with little explanation of how. This is post #7 for clarification. I also felt like the the rock you used in post #9 felt a little easy, though entertaining. I am impressed with how you used the scenery though, using the chains from the skeletons is exactly what I was hoping someone would do. What I’m saying is, I felt like you did really well to defend yourself and attack, but Rayfire held the upper hand through most of it.

    Overall you did really well. I’m impressed and thankful I was able to judge this fight. I only think that you should slow down a bit in the future. You have the talent, there is no need to rush it.

    Rayfire

    Jester

    Writing Style: 5
    -Ideas: 2
    -Flow: 2
    -Conventions: 1

    Effectiveness of Combat: 8
    -Character Consistency: 3
    -Ingenuity: 2
    -Interaction: 3

    Control of the Field: 8
    -Environmental Awareness: 3
    -Strategic Awareness: 2
    -Control of the Fight: 3

    Total: 21

    Important notes:

    Your grammar remained decent throughout your posts. It could have been better, it was okay, but the problem came with round 4. There was quite a bit more of errors. I also felt like your wording was a bit more flowery in that post. I liked the internal dialogue. I didn’t necessarily like the descriptions. That sounds harsher then it is, there is a few specific lines that felt like a bit much in comparison to your previous writing style and I marked off for the inconsistency. This was after the nine day break between extensions, so I can only assume it came from that. I don't know what happened during those nine days if it was personal, a lack of time, or simply writers block, but it seemed to take a hit to your writing.

    For the most part your flow was well thought out and enjoyable, but there was a few actions that were difficult to understand not just by me, but seemingly by Koti as well based on his responses. I talked about this already so moving on.

    I felt you played your character very well. At first, I was off put by the way the Jester reacted to the shadows, but I soon realized it was exactly how the character should react. Life is a big joke. Especially in the worst of circumstances. There is some specific lines I adored. If there is anything you have going for you, it’s character personality. Some of your music choices were also assuming. Overall I felt the action and personality to never quiver in it's consistency despite our delays.

    Taking to the trees was a smart move. From the introduction of the fight, you were in control. Your character abilities are most useful from a distance, so when you got in closer you seemingly lost that advantage. Regardless of the roll you made in your final post. That attack is better from a far. Despite that, you still seemed to have the Bard pinned down, playing in to your tricks. With well thought intentions and fun characterization I’m excited to see what you do next. Sadly, it won’t be in round 2.

    Conclusion

    Koti is our winner. This was fun. Thank you.


    The seals have been broken...
    The Purgament has begun...
    The Piper's out of the basement...
    The Dead have started to boogie...
    Decay is Coming

    Spoiler: The winner is... 

  5. #15
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    Okay, review process, I submit myself as the first judge.

    I think your main issue, for both of you, that you don't truly interact with each other or the hurdle placed before you. I believe there was so much you could have made out of this, but it was kinda lost in the fight.

    Regardless, both of you are very skilled writers and I enjoyed the read, it was a blast as you both nailed the chars perfectly.

    Now for the scores!



    Rayfire

    writing Style: 9
    -Ideas 3
    -Flow 3
    -Conventions 3

    Effectiveness of Combat: 7
    -Character Consistency 3
    -Ingenuity 2
    -Interaction 2

    Control of the Field: 6
    -Environmental Awareness 3
    -Strategic Awareness 2
    -Control of the Fight 1

    Score: 22



    Koti

    1= Bad
    2= Average
    3= Good.

    Writing Style: 9
    -Ideas 3
    -Flow 3
    -Conventions 3

    Effectiveness of Combat: 7
    -Character Consistency 3
    -Ingenuity 2
    -Interaction 2

    Control of the Field: 5
    -Environmental Awareness 2
    -Strategic Awareness 2
    -Control of the Fight 1

    Score: 21

    To me the battle was VERY close, and I think you both could have react more to what was around you.
    On my judging Ray wins, and we now wait on the final judge to chime in.

  6. #16
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    Review Process--second judge.

    To start I would like to say that both of you had a really good feel for your characters. You stayed in form throughout the posts and both had a lot of interesting ideas. You also had a good grip of the environment and the changes that Omac threw at you.

    The biggest problem I had was understanding the attacks and the reactions to them. I do not think either of you were playing off the other very well and it made it difficult to follow. There were also numerous grammar mistakes, some of which I believe could have been caught with a spell-check program.

    ************************

    Koti:

    Writing Style: (7)
    -Ideas--3
    -Flow --2
    -Conventions--2

    Effectiveness of Combat: (7)
    -Character Consistency--3
    -Ingenuity--2
    -Interaction--2

    Control of the Field: (7)
    -Environmental Awareness--3
    -Strategic Awareness--2
    -Control of the Fight--2

    Total: 21

    Important notes:

    I truly enjoyed reading your posts! They were a lot of fun and unique to your character. The use of singing to help calm your Bard's nerves was true to her form (although it did get to be a bit much in your later posts). The biggest issues I had with your posts were the numerous misspellings and ease of escaping injury. There was also some confusion as to your attacks against Rayfire, as they were a bit vague.


    **********************************************

    Rayfire:

    Writing Style: (7)
    -Ideas--3
    -Flow--2
    -Conventions--2

    Effectiveness of Combat: (7)
    -Character Consistency--3
    -Ingenuity--2
    -Interaction--2

    Control of the Field: (6)
    -Environmental Awareness--3
    -Strategic Awareness--2
    -Control of the Fight--1

    Total: 20

    Important notes:


    You are a talented writer and it was a joy to read your posts! The carefree way your Jester reacted to the threats was true to her character and made for an interesting read. The main issue I had with your posts was your failure to use the die roll to gauge your whip attacks. This would have been helpful for Koti, as he did not have a way to determine the accuracy of your attacks. You also switched tenses in a few posts (grammatically this was more common for you than misspellings). Your attacks were also a bit confusing, which had been mentioned previously.

    **************************



    This was a very difficult fight to judge. You are both very good writers and your posts were equally enjoyable. As I had to judge this on more than just the entertainment value, a lot of time and effort went into the assessment.


    The results of the tally move Koti to the next round.

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