Four individuals sat around a table in a vaguely decorated small conference room, with white walls, white carpeting, and even white ceiling. The four people were unassuming and average looking people, but in reality they were far from it. Little did these four know, they would save the world from the greatest threat it would ever face. Or... they would simply die trying.
As the four individuals contemplated their surroundings, a tall man entered the room and took his place at a tv screen on the wall. The man was of african descent, and looked to be in his 50s, with his graying black hair. He wore a dark trench coat and an eyepatch on each eye. Over the eyepatches were a sweet pair of shades, and he wore cool leather boots. "I'm sure you guys are wondering why I gathered you here today," The man said, facing the wall before an assistant entered the room and turned him around to face the four people around the table.
"Well, as you might have heard by now," the man continued, "A brand new supervillain recently captured all the superheroes in the world and trapped them in a stasis cube. I know you guys aren't exactly super, but you're all we've got left, so we need you to save the world. Unfortunately we know nothing about this villain other than they go by the name of Doctor Evil."
The old man took out a remote from one of his pockets and pressed a button, turning on the tv behind him. On the big screen a picture was revealed of the four people at the table, The North Face, The Archosaur, The Sleeper, and Captain Awesome, badly photoshopped in a team pose in front of the statue of liberty, with the words "Doctor Evil" menacingly written in comic sans on the left of the image. At the top of the image, in big bold letters, were the words "The League of Extraordinarily Useless Heroes".
The man smiled proudly at the image he could not see, hoping his four new heroes enjoyed the masterpiece he personally made with the help of his assistant. "Now," the man spoke up again, with extreme authority, "I have a battle plan set up for you to take down Doctor Evil, and it's very important you follow it to the letter." He cleared his throat and made a serious look on his face. "First, you are going to need to-" but he was cut off by the wall behind him blowing up, followed by a half-dozen evil looking robots flying in the room, clearly looking for a fight.
The old man performed a three-sixty degree spin as he whipped out two pistols from his coat and began shooting in the general direction of the robots. After a full minute of shooting, the robots all collapsed to the ground in defeat, but so did the man. He called the four heroes to his side, and after a moment of coughing, he spoke to them dearly, "You... must defeat... Doctor Evil..." And then he drifted away as he breathed his last breath.
"Looks like its entirely up to you guys to save the world," the old mans assistant spoke somberly. "The old man chose you. I don't know why, but he did. Don't screw this up." The assistant began walking away from the heroes, muttering a simple "Shit, we're all gonna die."