Thinking about a few things:
1) It's an emotional a moment on an emotional day. So what she's thinking and feeling in the moment isn't necessarily a fair portrayal, at all. However, that doesn't mean she can't take a step back and come to her senses when she's had time to process everything she is feeling. She's upset. She's just opened herself up, and Corwin hasn't acknowledged anything to her, and won't look at her. Sure he has his own reasons, but she feels a bit off but can soften in time.
2) I am more than happy to edit, just let me know where abouts.
3) Obviously interject anything you want to in your own response, it can totally be open ended like that. Between the two of us we create a completed scene.
I am flexible here! Just say the word!
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