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Thread: Star Wars: Bureaucrats [Hannelorian x Kach] OOC

  1. #71
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    Thinking about a few things:

    1) It's an emotional a moment on an emotional day. So what she's thinking and feeling in the moment isn't necessarily a fair portrayal, at all. However, that doesn't mean she can't take a step back and come to her senses when she's had time to process everything she is feeling. She's upset. She's just opened herself up, and Corwin hasn't acknowledged anything to her, and won't look at her. Sure he has his own reasons, but she feels a bit off but can soften in time.

    2) I am more than happy to edit, just let me know where abouts.

    3) Obviously interject anything you want to in your own response, it can totally be open ended like that. Between the two of us we create a completed scene.

    I am flexible here! Just say the word!
    Thanks to Hayabusa/Ryoku for the set.

  2. #72
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    1) Understood, I get that.

    3) Woot! Woot!

    Let me know what you think of that.
    I wanted to try and capture Corwin's emotional reaction to her expressed feelings without it feeling like a 'romantic' scene if that makes sense. I don't know if I quite did that.
    The final battle,
    Pain, suffering; overcome,
    by the united.


  3. #73
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    Hallo! I think you did an excellent job at showing a softer, more emotional side of Corwin. It definitely reads as one human showing compassion for another, rather than a romantic tableau.

    Instead of editing my previous post, I'm just going to re-write the post, which will encapsulate your added scene. I'll soften up the beginning tones a bit.

    And then you can post after progressing to events and the like.
    Thanks to Hayabusa/Ryoku for the set.

  4. #74
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    Sorry for the long wait. Working on getting that reply back to you.
    The final battle,
    Pain, suffering; overcome,
    by the united.


  5. #75
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    No need for apologies Kach! All is well, and I look forward to your reply! I hope my re-write worked for you.
    Thanks to Hayabusa/Ryoku for the set.

  6. #76
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    Kept it a bit short in case you want to have some dialog before we dive into the hive. Feel free to ask the Sergeant any questions.
    The final battle,
    Pain, suffering; overcome,
    by the united.


  7. #77
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    I am so sorry that took forever to reply. I was out of town at a conference for most of this past week so I had no time. Hopefully it's sufficient!
    Thanks to Hayabusa/Ryoku for the set.

  8. #78
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    Looks good!
    I kinda went over board with name dropping. Sorry?

    And sorry for the long wait, been crazy.

    I made this to try and keep a running record of the now bloated cast. :P Not sure if there is a better place to put it.

    https://role-player.net/forum/entry.php?b=19275

    Time for some grillin!
    The final battle,
    Pain, suffering; overcome,
    by the united.


  9. #79
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    No worries, it was a good post. The dramatis personae isn't a bad idea!
    Thanks to Hayabusa/Ryoku for the set.

  10. #80
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    Ah! I am so slow!

    Reply made! Thanks for your patience. I am working to keep that quality up.

    Here is what I am thinking from here, let me know your thoughts.

    They head back to the Barracks cause there is nothing for them to do and they are waiting anyway.
    Corwin can get cleaned up and we can do some character building/background reveals.
    One of them can come to the other's room? We can get some personal life glimpses
    Then the report comes in that the compound is secure and the C.O. is on the way back. And they can accompany Agent Cross to pick up Syko.
    The final battle,
    Pain, suffering; overcome,
    by the united.


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