The Appalling Strangeness of the Mercy of God [M - Hannelorian x DuchessLivilla]

[Hannelorian]

Arabella stayed for a moment at her door, her attention turning to Graves, her faithful shadow. "How long are you on duty tonight, Graves?" The Queen's head cocked to the side for a moment. The young man thought for a moment before he answered. "Only until you are asleep. Or presumed asleep." He responded, his voice was cool and gentle. Over the months the two had come to understand one another, and he would not ask questions, his loyalty was only to his mistress.

"Good." Arabella vanished into her rooms and exhaled deeply, a deep sigh of relief. Emily and Charlotte, two maids rushed in to assist. The Queen had momentarily forgotten that Mercy was on her sister's service until the couple departed. "Quick as you can ladies, please." The two women set to work stripping the Queen of her clothing, something which provided her a great relief. "Should either of you become pregnant, I pray you take to it like Alexandra and not like me." There was a small chuckle that escaped the maid's lips as they continued, now moving on to the Queen's hair.

For a few moments, she contemplated penning a note to the King, perhaps a continued reinforcement of her little charade. Obviously Christian understood bits and pieces, but he could never truly see the whole picture. But she ultimately decided against it, moving to the bed, as she covers were pulled back, allowing her to slide in. It had been warmed for her and she almost melted into it. "I'll find that chair for Bridget tomorrow..."

--

"You must remember that so long as my father sits on the throne, a woman shall inherit nothing. Though at least your sister will be cared for if she managed to predecease him. You on the other hand, well, it's all Little Alec's until something changes." Arthur did not mean to belittle the situation, and it was something he would like to change, but for the moment that issue was non-started. Women were less than nothing in their world. Ridiculous.

Arthur stood up and held a hand out to his wife to help her up. "So, you believe in it all then." Arthur said rather softly, the look of concern on his face to did not disappear as she spoke. "I suppose it's only a few days more, but if it is significant you should tell me now." He didn't want to wait, if it concerned his wife, or their children and the truth was that Alex truly believed, she should not delay, but he would respect his wife's decision. The walls did have ears after all. Most of them anyway.

"Yes, the children most definitely will be hungry and we could use as much rest as they will let us get." Arthur took his wife by the arm once she had stood up and they left the drawing room to retire to their rooms for the night.

[DuchessLivilla]

Alex knew he had ever right to know, and to know now. The children were as much his as hers and what was coming was, in terms of crowns, was his battle not hers in terms of legality; she had no claim and never would. She caught his arm just before he opened the door from the drawing room and said softly, "I will tell you...She would answer but one question so I asked one that would give us the most information. I...I asked would Alexander be King...It would tell me our fates, as much as his I hoped, what will happen when war breaks out..."

She swallowed and held back her emotions once more before saying, "I stopped her before she was finished so I saw only three cards..." She managed a small smile, "He will be a happy little boy, curious and gentle-hearted, like his father," she added, cupping his cheek and smoothing her thumb over his neat beard briefly. "But he will be...sickly and prone to weakness...I...I could not bear to see the rest in case she told me what I feared so I stopped her. To let me still have hope."

The Princess looked down and swallowed again, her tears threatening to spill. Once again she mastered them but the line was getting thinner. "When she came to me here, she told me...A son of mine, ours, shall be King, God help him...But...but that does not mean Alec is lost to us," she added, almost desperately. "He...he might take the cloth or..."

She closed her eyes and bit her lip, "When we are home, we must ask Dr Thomas to look at him," she sought comfort in practicality. What else could she do? She could fall to prayer, but that would come later.

[Hannelorian]

Arthur paused as he wife grabbed a hold of him and then began to tell him of what the gypsy woman had said. He listened with intent and all the while he held on to Alex's hand, and by the end had pulled her into a warm embrace. Alex was talking herself into logic, of what it all might meant for their son, their only son as of this moment. It was rather sweet, the love of a mother was unequalled in this world, and Alexandra loved harder than anyone he had ever known. The thought that she held this secret even for a moment pained him. "You must have been tearing yourself apart after that." Above all, Arthur was proud of his wife, and how well she kept herself together even with such devastating news.

"And so what if Alec is never King?" Arthur smiled, his hands rested on his wife's shoulders, squeezing them most reassuringly. "Alec is loved, by you and me, and all those who will meet him throughout his life. As long as my son is happy, cared for and well loved, that is a good life." The thought of losing one of his firstborn children, any of his future children was heartbreaking, but as only Arthur could, he wanted to focus on the good parts, the parts that would bring them joy, no matter what sorrow would come. "And if he is sickly we will take care of him. We will support him and get him the best care we can find."

Arthur hugged his wife closely before taking a step apart, if only to look deeply into her eyes and smile. "Even in this day and age, it is a sad reality that children die. And no amount of preparation will ever make us ready for that kind of a loss. But if we do everything in our power to make sure Alec is happy, all of our children are happy, then we have done all we can as parents. We will be grateful for the memories, and to have known Alec and his love for his, as well as our love for him. We cannot spend every day wondering if this is the day something horrid will befall him. That distracts from the precious things he will do."

Perhaps now Arthur was speaking for himself, to convince himself this would be less painful than he knew it would. The boy was only days old. Arthur was determined to enjoy every moment of his life, but even now he wondered how short it would be, how much pain might his son endure, he didn't want the boy to suffer at all, ever. "We will have Doctor Thomas meet us at home. Fear not, I shall send for him under some other cover that has nothing to do with the children. And perhaps he can give us answers, but even if he can't... it changes nothing. Alec is our son and we love him, no matter what. We will always be there to support him." Arthur felt a tear falling down his cheek, he sniffled and wiped it away. Even he was not immune to such thoughts or devastation.

[DuchessLivilla]

(Any mistakes are my own...currently working with one eye down!)

The dam inside Alex broke as Arthur held her and she slumped down to her knees, dragging him with her, her skirts pooling about her. For some moments she wept bitterly and freely into her husband's waistcoat. Unable to stop herself nor recover her composure.

Everything he said was true and that made it somehow worse. Children did die, even in the best families...plenty of things could take a child from a family; accidents, childhood ailments and so on but like most people Alexandra had never assumed it would happen to her. It was not arrogance in that moment, it was simply the natural thoughts everyone had...Surely not me? These things happen to others...

Few new mothers looked at their babies and straight away thought of the fact they might lose them sooner rather than later. You thought of their happy futures and the good times...Not what might happen and yet here they were...

Finally, after nearly a full five minutes of sobs, the only noise in the room, as Arthur just stroked her hair and let her weep -perhaps sensing she needed it- Alex let out a shuddering breath and fell silent, her forehead pressed to her husband’s chest so hard that she later found the imprint of one of his buttons upon her forehead for some hours.

“You’re right,” she whispered, pulling back, a weak smile on her face. “So what if he shall die young...He...he shall never be without our love nor care. We shall make sure, however short a time he has, that he never knows any grief or pain, as much as we can. He will...” she swallowed and echoed, unknowingly, the words of Bridget, “He will die loved and that is enough. So many never know such a thing.”

She rose and kissed her husband, her forehead pressed to his briefly as they shared breaths. Then she said softly, “Perhaps it is a punishment upon me...Bridget...she said...she said I was proud, perhaps God has sent us this trial to teach me something. I...” she closed her eyes briefly, “I was so...arrogant when I held them, before the King, knowing I had won...I cannot blame God for having looked down on me then and...And done this.”

[Hannelorian]

To watch his wife fall apart was a difficult thing for Arthur. She was normally so strong and composed. A force to be reckoned with, but here she was vulnerable, open. Showing just how soft she could be, Arthur could only hold her, pulling her close and embracing her as tightly as he could. "God is not punishing you. He isn't punishing us." Arthur shook his head, his words were soft but still stern, for he meant them. "There is nothing to punish us for, my father and what he has done to us is punishment enough on this mortal coil."

"Pride can be a sin, but it isn't always. You're standing up for yourself and for our family. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Children die, and we have no idea how long or short Alec's life will be, and that's alright." Arthur was smiling warmly as he held his wife there. "If you'd like, you can talk to Father Lennox about it. He would tell you the same, God never gives us more than we can handle."

Arthur pulled back for just a moment. "Let us go see the children and go off to bed. It's been a terribly long day."

---

Arabella dreamt of killing the King that night, as she had countless times before. It was always the same. Arabella with her guards in tow, led of course by Graves would push open the doors to the throne room. Her figure was thin, restored after giving birth, she was always dressed in a white gown, as she was on her wedding day, at her coronation. Christian would be standing there, arguing with his advisors, the war was not going well.

Arthur unsurprisingly had rallied the majority of the country and landed nobility to his side. Christian's face red with anger, shouting at the top of his lungs. Yet Arabella was simply smiling as she made her way down the central aisle of the room. When Christian at long last sees her, he screams. "GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!" This was no place for a lady, even if she was the Queen. But Arabella did not turn, no, instead she turned and nodded to Graves. The guard beside him, nodded to her and Arabella withdrew his sword from it's scabbard. Holding the instrument of death in her hand she stood before her husband who held a look of shock in his eyes. His guards paralyzed, unsure of what was happening.

"This one, this one is for me." Arabella said with a kind of glee. "And I wanted you to know that it was I who took your life." And with that she thrust the blade into the King's stomach, pushing it further and further until it appeared on the other side of his body. Christian screams in pain and writhes, he spits blood which stains Arabella's face and the white gown before he collapses to the ground.

Christian's guards draw their blades, only for Arabella's to do the same. The Queen moves to ascend the two smaller steps to the thrones, turning she raises a hand. "No more blood shed." The weapons are returned to their scabbards and Arabella sits upon Christian's throne. "Summon the Prince of Wales at once. Or shall I say, summon the King."

[DuchessLivilla]

Alex smiled gently against his neck as he grew stern. It did not come naturally to him but she loved him all the more for it. He was right, she hoped. Still doubt remained and it would haunt her until she died; was she to blame? Had she been the case of her son's ailment?

"Yes...let's go," she agreed, wiping her tears to make sure she looked respectable for the brief walk. Not that it would matter much she supposed. It was past midnight according to the clock on the mantlepiece; only a skeleton staff would be about.

A few moments later -indeed having met no one save, two of Arthur's men at the door to their rooms- the couple were with said children. Alexandra, despite herself, paused before her son's cradle, staring down at him, her gaze sweeping over the sleeping form, as if to try and see where there may be an issue. She could find none. He looked so...so perfect. She felt the tears threatening her again and closed her eyes quickly, gripping the edge of the cradle so hard her knuckles went white.

"Oh, Ma'am," Mary, who had been dosing in the chair and so deeply she had slept through the quiet entry of the royals, hastily jumped up and curtised. "Forgive me-"

Alex, relieved to have something else to focus on, smiled, "No, no it is fine, Mary. We were later than planned. If you could help me undress, I'll tend to the babies after, then you must go to bed yourself! I am sorry it is like this here, when we are home, it will not be so hard...I hope."

At least she hoped they did not have to take the precaution of always having someone in the room with the babies. Then again...if Alec was to be sickly...maybe...She cast her mind back to her own nursery hen she and Bella were children. Nanny had a room next door, with a door between that was usually left open...Hmm.

Half an hour or so later, Alexandra came back into the room from the dressing room, leaving Mary to retire. She wore her nightgown, her hair plaited into one long plait to keep it out of the way. Arthur too was undressed to his nightshirt and, like her unable to stop himself from making much of their children, was holding little Victoria -wrapped up against any chill- by the window, chatting away to her about what he could see.

The Princess watched him, smiling, her heart feeling as if it would burst from love and delight. She was entirely confident that, no matter what happened, Arthur would never be an 'aristocratic' father to his children; one of those men who saw their children perhaps once a day at dinner, before they were whisked to bed, and often even forget their own children's names, so infrequent did they see them.

No. Arthur would play with them, take an interest, dote on them.

"Do you remember that lady, I forget her name, some months ago at a dinner? She claimed to be a most involved mother to her children and I expressed surprise, given what I had heard of her," Alex said, coming over to pick up Alec and take him to her bed to feed. "I could not help myself and said that I imagined they were starched and ironed to spend an hour with her after supper...And she replied, entirely seriously, that yes, but it was an hour every day."

She shook her head as she settled into bed, Alec resting in her arms. "She was...genuinely convinced that was being involved. Do you think it's us that are strange or them? I find myself wanting to look at the children all the time, do as you have done just now...Dote on them. And yet...our fellows appear to feel no such desire. We are told over and over that we must have children and it's all there is...yet..."

Alex stroked her son's cheek, smiling down at him as he stirred, "Once they are born, it's as if the matter is closed. The child goes to servants and that's it. Duty done. An hour...every day...And that was a lot. If I saw you, little one," she whispered, bending her head to breathe in that new-born smell that was so addictive, "For just an hour a day, I would soon wither away from sadness."

She settled Alec to feeding and resting her head back against the headboard, gazing at her husband, "Do you think you shall enjoy the hunt tomorrow? At least it will be quieter without the court. Promise me you will be careful in the snow though."

[Hannelorian]

"Lady Worthington" Arthur pointed out as he held Vicky gently in his arms, rocking her slightly to lull her off to a sleep. He did indeed remember that conversation, it was hard not to recall such things. "But at the same time, you must consider it from her perspective." Arthur was smiling softly, just watching his daughter as she slept, his voice was soft, low to help ensure she stayed that way. "An hour a day, every single day is quite a lot for women of our age." It was really something of amazement. "Or I should say, aristocratic women of our age." Arthur knew full well that that the mothers of the lower classes were often constantly by their children's side.

"Granted we would not consider it a lot, or even understand such separation from our darlings, but we are a rarity. A special breed in more ways than one." Naturally Arthur had every intention of being there as often as he could for his children and for his wife. Time with them was precious and the highlight of all of his days, every day more so than the last. If Alex didn't understand, he certainly did not, it seemed so natural to want to be with one's family. "To answer your question, I do not think it is us who are the strange ones, however, our world would say the opposite." Arthur set precious Vicky back into her crib and folded his arms.

"I saw my parents perhaps slightly more than most, though they certainly didn't raise me. Mother was too busy drinking herself to death over my father, and well... you know my father." Christian laughed a bit at the thought, it was of course rather self explanatory. "Though I would imagine your parents were a little more involved, though perhaps more so with Arabella." That would track, their father seemed the type who would stop at nothing for his precious daughter.

Arthur's eyes drifted out of the windows and into the night sky. "We will be very careful. I suppose I am looking forward to it. Father has been in a much better mood this season. Perhaps it will continue. Besides, he seemed over the moon with that new rifle Arabella got him."

--

The Queen arose that morning, the maids quietly opening the curtains to let in the light. "Once I'm dressed, you can have the day to yourselves." Arabella knew that tomorrow the staff would largely be off, only those who were in essential roles would continue on with minimal modifications to give them some time to themselves. "Once the boys are off, my sister and I will take our breakfast privately."

Graves was not far behind the maids as they left, his head pointed downward so that he would not catch a glimpse of something he was not meant to see. "Your Majesty, Father Lennox is here to take your confession." Ah yes, Arabella knew she had forgotten something. "Very well. Have him wait my drawing room. I'll attend shortly." Arabella nodded in dismissal.