The Appalling Strangeness of the Mercy of God [M - Hannelorian x DuchessLivilla]

[Hannelorian]

The doors shut and Arabella breathed free, allowing her posture to relax. It was though a veil had dropped and the Duchess could, for a brief moment, act as herself. Lucy, hearing the sound of the doors appeared to hand the child, Beatrix to her mother whose arms were outstretched and so willing. "Thank you, Lucy." Arabella smiled and moved to sit upon the edge of the bed, just watching her daughter as she rested so peacefully, so quietly. In truth it amazed her. The Duchess had heard the society women discuss their children, and how they all detested how noisy they were, but no, not her Beatrix. Beatrix was a sweet babe, born with her mother's temperament some might dare to say.

"Help me, please." The Duchess requested, standing for a moment, and Lucy quickly understood and went to help the Duchess disrobe until her slip was accessible. Maneuvering herself out of the top half of her slip, a rather loose garment, the Duchess was now able to raise the child to her breast. Arabella was a natural mother, as her child fed she spoke. "I am to be Queen. A blue blooded H.M." The Duchess took her time and enunciated each letter, H followed by M. "Yes your Grace." Lucy replied rather casually.

"You needn't do that... when we are alone you can call me Arabella." The truth was, the Duchess had no friends. Yes, she had friends in the society sense, all of the nobility looked up to her. Even prior to her impending marriage, she was the top of the heap, the woman to be. She had no shortage of ladies who wrote her regularly for advice, who sought to be invited to her parties. Once the former Queen had died, she was as close as it got. Ironic. "I'm going to put my trust in you. You have served me well."

"Yes your Gr... Arabella." A part of it was odd, to hear her name spoken by someone she was not related to. "So many girls dream of being Queen. Not just any Queen, but the Queen of England. And yet... here I am, and it is to be my nightmare." The Duchess laughed lightly, carefully to hold Beatrix steady, and when the time came, delicately re-dressing herself. "Does it have to be?" Lucy asked as she came to kneel before the Duchess, resting comfortably and looking up at this beautiful, yet sad figure before her.

"Aren't you clever?" Arabella asked before laughing and squeezing ever, ever so gently on her daughter. "I'm in my twenties, and I have lost... So young to be so tragic." Arabella, for once had a rather clear view of her situation. "I've spent my life preparing to be this. A Duchess. I was a cruel child, to Alexandra especially. I hurt her every chance I got. I was jealous. So petty, so pathetic." It was an odd but cathartic feeling to simply let it all come out.

"I was the paragon of piety. I followed the laws to the letter, and in that I found great comfort and happiness. I was lucky. I happened to be a woman who fell in love with her husband. So desperately, madly in love. And yet, I was so cruel still, in the name of God, and I was wrong. Alexandra opened my eyes, and all I can see now is regret." Her cheeks flushed, reddened as her eyes welled up, full of tears which then began to fall. "And then God took him from me. He took all of my joy, all of my good. When he took Richard he took my heart. And now... I must plot and scheme.." Lucy, seeing the fragility in the Duchess rose to take Beatrix into her arms and continued to do what she did best which was simply listen. "How do you mean?" The maid asked.

"The King will not tolerate Beatrix. He will seek to kill her quietly, or have her sent to some convent. As though she never existed. She is Richard's daughter. And that she is... all I have left of him. So, to keep her safe, I'll have to give her up. She'll never know that her mother loved her. I don't care if she knows I'm a Queen or a Duchess... I just need her to know she is so very loved."

The Duchess wiped her tears, and smiled softly. "I will take to the gardens. Mustn't go against good advice." The Duchess nodded to Lucy. "Defend my daughter. I'll return soon." Arabella opened the doors to her rooms and stepped out, taking a look at the two guards, one on either side. "Let's go boys." She understood that where she went, they would follow, and rather than fight it, she embraced it for the time.

--

Arthur was waiting as the carriage arrived at Marlborough, at least here he felt at ease and comfort. He smiled brightly as it came down the way.

Alice nodded at the Princess. "None of it is silly. You are no fool. I suppose one day I might understand if I too have the chance to fall in love. I would like that some day. So perhaps you are right and you would be so kind as to help me. I am grateful." Alice concluded as the carriage came to a halt.

[DuchessLivilla]

Alexandra smiled. "I shall do all I can, and more, to see you happily married to a good man, one who deserves you." She winked and patted her hand, "Perhaps you shall be a Duchess! I assure you, it is quite something to suddenly find one's-self being curtised to and called "Your Royal Highness". Especially by those who I once had to bow to; my sister's cronies that were. And, "Her Grace, Alice, Duchess of such and such," has a nice ring to it, I think."

She smiled again and alighted from the carriage, thanking the footman as he helped her out. Unlike many, both Alex and her husband were as liberal with their servants as they were with their views; thanking a servant for their service seemed to them, merely polite and proper. She hastily crossed the gravel to her husband and embraced him.

They had been parted but an hour or two but even so, she had missed him greatly. That, coupled with a visit to the lion's den, as Windsor was, had made the missing all the harder.

"Oh, thank the Lord, you are safe and returned," she whispered softly. "How is Bella? Is she...I cannot say alright, because I fear she shall never be that again, but...is she at least safe?"

[Hannelorian]

Arthur stepped backward as his wife embraced him, stabilizing himself and warmly returning the kindness. The Prince kissed his wife's cheek tenderly and looked out over his house, at least here he could be himself. "Yes, yes quite safe. You needn't worry." Arthur was all smiles when he was with his beloved, he understood this is where he was meant to be.

"Your sister is..." The Prince trailed off as he wished to thoroughly consider how he addressed the matter. "Let us go inside." Arthur positioned himself to take his wife's arm into his own and the two entered the grand dwelling, seeing themselves off to the nearest sitting room, lavishly decorated with notes of silver. "Arabella is doing her best. She's playing along and it seems she knows what must be done." Arthur reached then into his pocket and withdrew the small scrap of paper, handing it to his wife. "She slipped this into my pocket, I haven't read it. But I suspect she intended it for you. There's no doubt, my father is reading all of her correspondence."

Arthur thought for a moment of his wife and his unborn child, the stress that this entire situation was causing. It seemed most unfair. "I hadn't seen her for more than two minutes before my father barged in. He doesn't want her alone, especially not with us. As always, his tongue poured acid when it came to you... Arabella suggests we hold off telling him of your pregnancy for as long as possible to keep you safe."

[DuchessLivilla]

Alexandra read the note as he spoke then handed it over for him to read as well. "I expected nothing less. The man the very bones of me." She laid a hand on her stomach and smiled. She couldn't help it. The thought brought her much joy that she was pregnant. A tiny being, made from part of her and part of her beloved, was safe inside her.

"I think she is probably right," she nodded. "The further along I am, the safer the child is. I have a vague memory of being told, or overhearing talk, that a woman is more likely to lose her child in the early months...Perhaps we should not announce it until the baby moves? The servants should be kept in the dark too, for now. Otherwise someone will say something and it will all be over."

She moved to him once more and rested her head on his shoulder, her fingers locking with his. "I know I should be concerned and worried, and I am, a little but...a baby, Arthur," she smiled and bit her lip. "A little one of our own. A part of me and you. Each time I think of it I smile. Seeing Bella with Beatrix, it made it all so real what is in our future, God willing. I hope," she looked up at him and laughed softly, "I hope he or she looks like you."

Alex ran her fingers through his soft, dark hair and smiled. She knew he was shy about his ears, hating their size. She had tried, several times, to tell him that he was a very tall man! It made sense that his ears and such would be in proportion. He would not have it and kept his hair long, which she loved in any case. "Imagine...a little one, running about here with your ears. It would be so sweet. And," she held up a finger to stop him, knowing what was coming, "do not say 'poor child'! I love you, all of you."

[Hannelorian]

The Prince took the note into his hands and cast his eyes over it, short and sweet, how very much like Arabella. "The child will be lucky, and loved, worshipped and waited on in their own little way." He smiled, feeling his wife's chin upon his shoulder and her delicate hands running through his dark tresses. "I love you in return, as I always will. No matter whose ears our child has, we will rejoice, and we will love." He laughed slightly thinking on it, soon enough it would be real.

"You must take care of yourself - rest like you need to. I know you prefer to keep busy, but it is important for you and baby." Arthur reminded his wife, she had taken on her role with pride and glee. She wrote her letters, she prepared for everything like it was the most important thing, no matter how low the person met was. "You're right, we mustn't say anything to anyone. Keep the circle small. Alice wouldn't dream of it, I know." He turned now to face Alex and wrap his arms around her.

"What do you think Arabella means when she suggests she has a plan?" He asked, biting his lower lip and disappearing into thought.

--

Over the next few days the Duchess endured everything. She had fittings for gowns, she walked the gardens and made small talk. She prayed openly in chapel and was seen by all. This was of paramount importance. The court had to see her, they had to engage with her, touch her in some small way. Arabella had to be seen to be the Queen she was becoming. She was seen without child, she was seen smiling, even laughing. For the first time the Duchess wore bright colours, she excelled in her calling.

Privately the Duchess wept, she spent time with her daughter whenever she could. She endured her dinners with the King and did everything in her power to make him feel loved and appreciated. Sacrifice was key, and the day of her biggest sacrifice was drawing nearer and nearer.

[DuchessLivilla]

"I do not know, truly," she said softly, shaking her head. "But...I know she will do anything to protect the child. The change in her is amazing. I honestly think, if the King came between my sister and Beatrix, she would tear him apart without losing her breath. So unlike so many mother's I know. Society ladies and such. They hand their babies off to nursemaids and nannies, and do not look the way of their children."

She laughed softly, without any mirth, "Even Bella and I spent very little time with our parents. It was Nanny and then our governess who raised us. And cook who slipped us biscuits when no one was looking. We'd be dressed up and taken into the dining room at dinners to be seen, then swept back to the nursery. I really think...If Mama and nanny had been standing side by side, and called us, we would have run to nanny, not her...I...I do not want that for Bella, nor myself, as mothers. But I cannot see a way for Bella to remain with her child, not with the King. It would be too great a risk."

Alex sighed. "I need to speak to her but how? The King will have eyes on us always...but maybe...our maids could speak for us. If the King's eyes are on us, Alice and Lucy might be able to swap letters at court. Then again, we are hardly welcome there just as we please. We have Mass though, the services every sunday. We are bound to attend them with the other nobility."

-

And so, on the next sunday, Alexandra and Arthur departed their little haven, with Alice and the Prince's manservant in toe, to attend Mass in St George's Chapel. This was a prescribed event and even the King would not barr his son and daughter-in-law from it, though he ignored Alex most of the time, or else made cruel comments to his fellows, designed to hurt her.

They had hurt her before she knew she was pregnant. Now, carrying this secret happiness, nothing the King nor his supporters could say would hurt her. She had steeled herself too for Bella having to make or laugh and agree with the same comments. She would not blame her sister, of course, if it happened.

That morning, as she dressed, she had given Alice a letter, short but to the point, to hide in her cuff, and to look for a chance to slip it to Lucy. However, she had also told her maid, and friend, that she was not to take a great risk. If it was impossible, then that was that. The King, she said, was looking for any reason to harm her; and harming her maid would be a good barb for him.

As they approached Windsor, she sighed and rubbed her head. "Ugh, just the sight of this place makes me feel unwell...Then again, I have been feeling queasy most mornings anyway." She smiled and looked down at herself. "Not that I am complaining. I would endure anything for you, little one."

[Hannelorian]

As the Lord's day had arrived, the Duchess was awoken, as she was always with the drawing of the curtains, allowing light to flood to the room in which she slept. The sun's rays catching on golden fixtures, brightening up the darkest of wood finishes. Beatrix, was taken most promptly to her mother for feeding. The Duchess herself would be bathed and dressed for church. It had been decreed, that from this day until the day after her wedding and coronation (very notably on the coming Wednesday) the Duchess would only be wearing white.

The entire thing was a farce, everyone knew that even if Arabella hadn't had a child she was certainly not a virgin. She was married, but perhaps that is what excused the rather gross show of her. But, the Duchess had a plan. Unfortunately there were rather unsavory elements, but it was a plan none-the-less. Much like her sister, Arabella had thought on how the two might communicate, as they would exchange few words beyond the simple hello at arrival.

"Lucy, I shall need your help." Arabella explained quietly and calmly as she was adorned in accessories. The King had been kind by way of gift, and the sudden stream of diamonds that constituted bracelets, necklaces, and even an impressive selection of tiaras for her use after their marriage. "Anything." Lucy responded kindly, quietly as not to disturb Beatrix terribly.

"If I had to guess, Alexandra is being rather smarter, and is likely going to attempt to communicate with me through you and Alice. You must take great care not to be seen." Arabella swallowed hard for a moment and remained in silence for another before speaking. "Should anything happen, you are operating under my instruction and mine alone." Lucy hesitantly nodded, but knew herself to be capable and more than that, willing to endure anything for her mistress.

The Duchess could heard the bells begin to toll, and dutifully she would perform. Unlike the former Queen, who seldom showed her face at services, or if she did remained rather solemn, Arabella was to take a new approach. The Duchess would make a special point to greet each and every congregant as they entered. Arabella would wish them good fortunes, and the mercy of God. She would smile, and do her part. But importantly, she wished to see her sister, even if she could not freely speak. At least not without significant arranging. So the Duchess stood, with a small cadre of servants behind her in greeting.

--

"Are you ready?" Arthur asked as Windsor was upon them, the massive fortress it was, and his father's preferred residence. Though there would be no doubt that the new royal couple would likely take up at Buckingham following the wedding, at least for a time. "I'm sorry you have to endure... but it shall be brief, and come the wedding and coronation they'll be so busy with their guests they will hardly take note of us." Arthur said, almost confidently, perhaps rather to phrase it optimistically. As the carriage drew to a stop, he exited and assisted his wife, the two made their way to the chapel.

[DuchessLivilla]

"That is something, at least," Alex replied, holding his arm tightly, more for sheer comfort than anything else. "My poor sister, I cannot imagine how she is coping with all this. I fear I should have lost my wits in her place."

"Or else thrown myself from the tallest balcony I could find. Anything to avoid being joined to that beast. How on earth he managed to produce Arthur I shall never know. The two could not be more different in personality."

-

Christian came to fetch his wife as the bells began. A swagger in his step. He had had that ever since Richard's death, as if something had been removed and he need not hide his smugness anymore. He beamed at the sight of his bride-to-be, "Ah, my dearest heart," he kissed her cheek, "You look radiant. I do believe this change of place suits you! Suffolk was unhealthy, it is clear. All the best that it is removed. Anyway, none of that," he took her arm and they set off towards the grand and ancient chapel.

"Now, you must take care today. The Princess of Wales shall be in attendance. Do not allow her to try anything, my love. We must be guarded with her, and my poor, blind, fool of a son. If you must speak to her, do not allow her to lead the conversation, stick only to matters of ceremony. You must not allow her to think herself anything above you. You are to be Queen. She shall end her days in the workhouse, or on the gallows. Never forget that. She is a sinful harlot who has bewitched poor Arthur."

As they walked, he suddenly laughed. "Ah! Why did I not think of it before...Princess of Wales...Or rather, Whales! How droll! She is certainly the size of one."

Naturally, this was miles from the truth; Alexandra was in no way fat; in fact, Christian likely had a good 5 stone on the girl! It was merely that she was not the almost emaciated look that was in fashion at court; Alexandra looked like what she was, a girl in good health...And one, the King would learn to his annoyance, in perfect form to have children.

[Hannelorian]

"I only hope I am as good for Windsor, as it has been for me." Arabella remarked as the two walked forward towards the chapel. The Duchess found herself leaning slightly on the King, staying close to him, every action a reminder to him that she returned his affections. Of course, the hardest part was listening to him speak ill of her sister. Words that she too had said not too long ago. Pains of regret were more overwhelming than she had anticipated.

As the two remained within sight of the Chapel the Duchess smiled and looked up, pausing for just a moment in their walk. "I will never forget her sins. I threw myself before you once with the very same concerns you raise now. But I also know that I begged for her to be spared. She is my sister, but you are my husband." The Duchess very purposefully used the present tense. Despite the fact they were not married, she wanted to draw the spiritual connection to the moment. "You are the King, and God's chosen ruler. Your wisdom is my teacher. I will not fall for such silly tricks, from such a silly girl." Arabella seemed sincere, earnest. The Duchess was a good liar, she had been lying her entire life.

The Duchess waited a moment for Christian to begin moving again, as she took most of her queues from him, at least for now. "I wish to greet our guests. I wish them to know me, to see my love for God and my love for you manifest before them. The Kingdom shall know that I am pledged to serve, and to do so is the greatest honor of my life." Arabella knew the words, she felt them. A part of her did long to serve, she wanted to be a good Queen. She would be, in her own way, but Arthur would be a better King than his father, Alexandra a better Queen than her. She would content herself to a life of Royal service with her children.

Arabella's face lit up as the two finally made their way to the Chapel entrance, the people bowing before the King, and their future Queen. The Duchess engaged in conversation, though none of it serious. Arabella inquired after families, she had learned specific details over the years. It would be noted that she cared in the way the previous Queen had not. She knew these people. And she waited, for her sister, for their single moment where they might cross paths.

[DuchessLivilla]

Christian beamed proudly and squeezed her hand. "You shall outshine all, my love, as the sun does the moon. I shall hold you up on a pedestal for all to admire, and aspire to be like. You shall go down in history as one of the great consorts of the age, I assure you.

As they moved down the line of waiting people, beginning with the most junior nobility; second sons and so on, who likely would never have land themselves and bear only Sir titles and such, to the Lords and Ladies and on and on until finally, after much talk of dogs, horses, children and the like...They came face to face with Arthur and his bride.

Much to the King's annoyance -he would have liked to have been able to rebuke his daughter-in-law for a fault- Alexandra and Arthur bowed and curtised to them as they stopped before them at the entrance to the family part of the chapel, with the altar and side on seating.

Of course, technically, Alexandra and the Prince need only bow to the King...Both out-ranked a non-royal Dowager Duchess, but everyone knew, titles aside, Bella was a Queen-in-Waiting and to do otherwise would incur the rather of the King.

The King nodded to Arthur, "Your Highness looks rather pale, I hope you are not ailing? Then again, they do say a happy home is the best remedy for illness...Something to think on, perhaps?" It seemed Christian could not resist, at any chance, a dig at the marriage he had disapproved of. In truth, Arthur looked better than he ever had.

And why shouldn't he? He was happy, beyond happy in fact.

Alexandra, knowing her place, kept her eyes down and made no comment. It wouldn't help anyone. Plus, it also showed respect to her sister, putting her in the higher place and waiting for her to speak, before she did. Not that either could say what they wished to anyway, but still.

Behind each sister stood their maid, praying that when the Royal couple moved on, and everyone else fell into line behind them, the two maids would be side by side...able to, please God, pass their notes.

The King lingered, smirking. He was enjoying this too much to hurry on. "Does Her Grace not look well, Arthur? I should say she outshines all in her radiance. Widowhood becomes her, I think. Then again, perhaps," he beamed and patted her hand, "it is that she has truly found happiness at least, with myself."

Alexandra's knuckles, clutching her jet and pearl rosary, went white from holding herself back. She would find later that the beads had cut into her skin she had held them so tight.

"How can he bear to look at himself in the mirror. How can he speak of a lady her loves like that? He knows what Richard meant to her..."