The Appalling Strangeness of the Mercy of God [M - Hannelorian x DuchessLivilla]

[Hannelorian]

Occasionally, the Queen had to admit to herself that was terrible. Arabella had met the young maid, a girl known as Mercy. A rather fitting name that given her upbringing was enough to make one roll their eyes. Though for the life of her, she could not place her, or recall the girl's face. Indeed in the early months of her marriage Christian had his way mucking about with her staff, changing maids left and right. It was a small part of how he controlled his wife, and how he made sure that those who served her were loyal to her yes, but moreover that they were loyal to him. Of course the others were then baffled when the Queen inquired as to someone who came from such a place as the Foundling Hospital, but they were not exactly in a position to challenge the request.

Of course this girl, the lowest of the low, the most junior maid in her cadre would have no real sense of why she was suddenly plucked from obscurity to serve the Queen on her own, with no support, no one more senior to turn to. When Arabella finally entered the room, with Alice in tow, she took a good luck at the girl before saying anything, she noted the deep curtsy, something she had most assuredly practiced. Though Arabella immediately noted the stiffness and rigidity in how the girl bended. This could simply be because the girl was nervous, new, afraid, or in part a long symptom of improper development due to a lack of nutrition. Arabella's heart broke ever so faintly recalling what she had seen.

"Enough, enough." Arabella lifted her hands in a rising motion, this being her instruction. "Lady Dennington." Arabella turned to Alice for a moment. "I'd like to introduce you to Mercy Little, one of the junior maids in my service." This step was unusual, as maids, particularly of the junior variety typically went unacknowledged, let alone introduced to a lady, and certainly not by the Queen. "Mercy Little, please meet Lady Dennington, Alice."

Alice bowed her head slightly in acknowledgment. "Pleased to meet you Ms. Little. It must be quite an honor, to serve the Queen at such a young age." Of course the Queen was Arabella, so sure, it may have been an honor, but as Alice knew from personal experience, it could be it's own special form of hell on earth. But it was not her place to say or even think such things at this time.

"Once you've selected, you're free to return to Alexandra, I'm sure she'll be missing you." Arabella smiled for a moment as she spoke, and allowed it fade. "Now, of course I should think the Lady takes after the Princess, so we'll want to keep to something in the blue family. Blues have always been so well suited to Alex." The lack of formality the Queen suddenly found herself espousing would either be refreshing or terrifying.

"Yes, you're quite right. I'm not sure how she does it, but really she makes it all look so effortless, as do you, your Majesty." Alice replied, approaching the tables before her so brilliantly set with fabrics. Alice raised her hand lightly, lowering them to the fabric, looking at Arabella for permission to touch them. "Yes, yes, go ahead. Mercy, darling, if you would be so kind as choose a few to your liking, options for Lady Alice. You needn't be shy." This was Arabella's way of giving the girl permission as well, likely having never touched silk before. At least Alice had in the garments of the two Royal women she had been allowed to wear.

---

Arthur was not so easily convinced, though he appreciated his wife's warm words greatly. "If you insist you are safe, I shall defer to you, my darling." Arthur nodded with a furrowed brow, biting his lower lip as though he was still terribly uncertain. "To not let her bother me is easier said than done. For it is not me she bothers, it is you and our child. I have a duty protect the both of you, the Queen be damned." Indeed in his mind she surely must be damned by this point, no matter how pious a life she professed to live or how reformed she would seem to be.

Letting his hand rest on his wife's stomach he closed his eyes and smiled. The world faded away and for a moment so did his worries, no matter how fleeting this was something he could think of and warmly reflect upon no matter what might come their way. "It seems hard to imagine, an infants ward with ne'ry a sound... that feels most unnatural." Children cried, they laughed, they played. Even he knew that to be the normal order of things, and could not imagine such a profound and truly devastating silence. One would have to be inhuman not to feel that, he suspected.

"And to drug them too? I suppose that is the only way you could silence so great many a child." Arthur shook his head, and while he knew that his own children would be spared such a place, and such methods... he could not help but ache as a father to be, and understood it would be equally devastating if not more so to his pregnant wife. "Well, if there is one compliment to pay your sister, if she wants to get something done, she will... and her as a mother... well, I'm sure even she has the same feeling as you. To be in such a place must have been hell. I apologize you had to see it, but better you know and learn of the world, and of your people now than to be unpleasantly surprised later." Arthur reckoned.

[DuchessLivilla]

Alexandra smiled gently and stroked his hand with hers. "I, of course, will defer to you, as I am sure she will, if you wish to insist. I shall leave right now with you, whatever be damned, but I would like to stay, if you can calm your mind to it. But I will also worry if I think you are returning home to pace and grow more and more concerned. So if you go, please, go and find something to occupy you and keep your mind busy."

"I'm not sure what we are doing tomorrow...I think Madam Bertin is coming to see Alice for some fittings. And no doubt more visits. I think I did hear Bella mention she wished to take in the ballet or opera, so perhaps that in the evening."

The Princess sighed at the talk of the children. "Yes. It...It broke my heart, to see them like that. Bella and Alice went to them and coddled them and such but I could not bring myself to do it. I feared, if I picked one up, I should not have been able to set the little wrech down again, knowing what I was condemning him or her to there." She looked down at their hands over her stomach and shook her head.

"All I could think of was our little one, and how much life is just chance...This baby shall, God willing, be born healthy and alive to two parents who shall love and cherish him or her with all our hearts. But with just the flip of a coin, this child might have been lying in those cold, desolate cots, it's future uncertain...It's survival even, uncertain."

-

Mercy blushed and stood when the Queen bid her, then hastily dropped another curtsy to Alice. She was stunned to have been spoken to, let alone introduced! No one of 'quality' had even glanced at her so far, let alone spoken to her, unless it was in a general way of giving an order. "My Lady," she whispered to Alice before rising and moving out of the way so they could see the fabrics laid out. "It's more than an honour, Lady Dennington. It's my purpose and deepest wish to serve and be of service."

She lingered as they started to look over the fabrics then blinked when the Queen told her to join in, and not only that, but to express a view on choices. She glanced at her, as if checking she had not misheard. Mercy was fortunate that she had not been long in the service of the Queen, nor had she been there at Suffolk; she had, not yet anyway, heard the tales of Arabella's cruelty and games...And so, was not as unsure in doing what she was told, in case it was some cruel jest.

After the brief pause, to check, she crept forward and stared, lips parted in wonder, at all the colours and patterns. She didn't dare touch, even though Alice did, and despite the fact her hands were spotless; she couldn't bring herself to. Such things were not for the likes of her! And yet her eyes raked over the designs like a greedy child before a bakery.

How on earth did ladies choose from such a selection? And how did they know what would suit?

She glanced once again at the Queen and Lady Dennington. Both women wore colours and patterns that highlighted their natural colouring and suited them perfectly.

Hmm, blue, the Queen had said...And ladies liked flowers, she had been told. The Queen, after all, had one lady in waiting whose only job was to see to it that her apartments had fresh flowers every day in numerous pots and vases. Mercy looked over the various shades of blue, glancing at Alice once or twice as she did, as if trying to gauge what might suit. She reasoned, with how pretty the Lady was and how good her skin and complexion was, she could likely bear any shade well!

Still...She bit her lip and gently touched a lovely deep deal colour fabric sample, with details picked out in gold threads. It was not quite blue, but it was different, and Mercy thought that a Lady should not copy another...If the Princess liked blues, then perhaps her friend might like something similar, to compliment, not match. Then again, what did she know? Still, she blushed and said, "This one is very pretty, Your Majesty."

[Hannelorian]

Arabella turned her head slightly when Mercy spoke. There was a kind of trepidation in her voice, the kind that Arabella was ever so used to. Even as a Duchess, servants would often tremble before her, her own because of her reputation and of course her actions. The servants of others, once more because of her reputation. Arabella was the gang leader, and was someone to be feared, respected, but mostly feared. It was the kind of tone from Mercy that once made Arabella smile, assured of the gravity of her presence. "Let's see it then." She commented almost off hand as the Queen approached the girl and the bolt of fabric she referenced.

Arabella smiled, her fingertips now landing on the delicate silks, fingertips tracing the gold inlay. "What a magnificent choice. Don't you agree Alice?" As Alice turned her attentions toward Mercy, the Queen had scooped the fabric into her hands and draped it carefully over Mercy's front. "Cerulean. An absolutely marvel of a colour." Arabella spoke softly. Alice smiled widely herself and nodded. Alice of course, had not known where Mercy had come from, or why she was here. But this was not her place to speculate. "It's stunning. I should rather think Madame Bertin could work miracles with such an astounding piece of cloth."

Arabella then removed the sample and placed it back onto the table. "Very well then, certainly our front runner." Arabella nodded and waved a hand. "Off with you for the evening then. Get some rest, tomorrow shall be a big day for you. I'll send tea for you. Oh and please, ask the Princess to stop by my apartments before she turns in for the evening." Alice nodded her head. "Of course your Majesty." And carefully moved to exit the room, making her way through the corridors, getting lost only for a small bit on her way back to the Princess.

"Now Mercy, come, come take a seat, please." Arabella motioned toward a small golden coloured divan, the kind people would rather look at than sat on at risk of damaging it. "There are some questions I have for you. I hope you won't mind indulging me. And please, when it is just the two of us, I would rather you call me Arabella. I think we should both feel more at home with first names." The Queen was smiling, her tone was soft, genuine. There was no trick here, only a desire to know more about the awful place she now would make her mission to shut down, reform, to claim as her own.

---

"No, no, you must stay. Make yourself at home here. I shall do my level best to put aside my doubt and trust in you and your savvy. After all, you've never led me wrong. Not for anything." Arthur smiled brightly, his teeth showing and eyes narrowing. There was a genuine kind of elation that came with simply being beside his beloved. The feeling of his arms around her, the gentle way he fingertips stroked the backs of his hands. There was no place more comforting.

"You mustn't feel poorly, because you did not rush to cradle the children." Arthur bit his lip for a moment as he pondered his next turn of phrase. "You're about to be a mother yourself, and surely such sights are horrific. You have failed no one, and if what you say is true, soon enough those children will have better survival odds than ever. Arabella has done what you are about to, her rush to them is a remnant of that... we mustn't her pain." Even when he spoke the words aloud, it reminded him that Arabella too was suffering, and that she would do anything to have just a modicum of control over her own life. In many ways, she lacked the freedom Alexandra had.

Within a few minutes of this interaction a small knock on the door, followed by the sound of it opening. "Your Royal Highnesses." Alice curtsied deeply, smiling and returning to a stand she sealed the door behind her.

"Perfect timing Alice, I was just about to take my leave." Arthur looked into his wife's eyes and placed another delicate kiss upon her lips. "Take care of our girl, won't you Alice?"

"I have no greater purpose." Alice found herself having borrowed language from Mercy, perhaps they weren't so different after all. "Her Majesty wishes to see Alexandra in her apartments before bed. I dare say some of the fabric I've seen tonight... well it's fit for the Queen herself." Alice chuckled softly and made herself scarce to give the couple a few moments to part.

[DuchessLivilla]

Mercy blushed when the Queen praised her choice and smiled shyly as it was discussed. She knew little of fashions nor the cuts of gowns but she was delighted to hear that she had, by accident, picked something that had pleased Her Majesty! After all, was not that her entire role in life now? If she could please the Queen, she might, one day, after many years service, be helped into finding a suitable match for herself with say, a footman or valet, and then to marry and have a family of her own.

She moved away a little while the Queen spoke to the Lady then blinked when she was, once again addressed. Suddenly she was being invited to sit with Her Majesty, and, even more confusingly, to call her by her name! Calling the monarch by their first name was reserved for their spouse and very close family -with permission!- and Mercy swallowed. She wasn't sure she could bring herself to do it, even if it was an order.

The Queen was quite wrong in thinking she would be more comfortable with informality. Mercy had grown up, if it were possible, in a place where rules and formality were more strictly enforced than even the court! She herself had only been referred to as 'Little' by everyone bar a few friends, and certainly no one in authority had called her by her name. Like many from the foundling hospital, suddenly unleashed onto the world, she rather clung to the rules and strict guidelines she had grown up knowing, as the only thing she had.

She swallowed. "Um...Your Majesty...I...I don't think I can do that. I...It would be disrespectful to call you as such."

-

Alexandra sighed and embraced her husband. For all she was happy to remain and have some time with her sister, she also hated to be parted from Arthur, even for just a few hours, and now it seemed it would be days. They had hardly been apart since they had married and she did not relish the idea of it. "I love you," she whispered, just as Alice opened the door.

She smiled and pulled back a little. "Ah, Alice, I wondered what had happened when Bella swept you off..." She didn't add that both she and Arthur had been concerned, and still were to a degree. "Oh?" She glanced at the window and chuckled softly, "Early hours they keep here at the palace, I suppose. I must get used to doing as I am told once again," Alex winked at her husband then returned his kiss, her hand over his heart.

"Be safe, my love. It will not be long until we're together again."

[Hannelorian]

Arabella smiled at Mercy's polite refusal. She supposed that she understood, a girl coming from so regimented a background might cling to rules for comfort. And, the Queen supposed Mercy did not know her, nor would she have way of sensing or gaming out what Arabella was up to. She was rather pure like that, something which at one time might have been a great source of amusement. "Of course, I mean not to ask anything which you might not deliver." The smile still pervaded her face as she watched Mercy in all of her movements. The girl had perfect posture, absolutely perfect, better than many of her own court ladies. She imagined it was something rather caned into her over the years.

"We shall adhere firmly to rules, your Majesty will do just fine. I'd settle for a 'ma'am' after the first go." Arabella seemed rather relaxed as she was seated. Her posture too, was without fail perfect. She did not lean back into the settee but rather sat with a back firmly upright, legs crossed at the ankles beneath her skirts. "I can only guess what you've heard of me, from the servants, of course. Whether it is the few of the Suffolk set who came with me, or those who have long served His Majesty." With gloved hands rested comfortably in her lap, Arabella hardly seemed to move, like she was a porcelain figurine set in a curio cabinet. "I suppose I may as well inform you that the rumours are likely all true." The Queen at least, had a realistic view of herself, and would spend no further time in efforts to diffuse gossip below stairs. None of it really mattered now as the King was aware of her deeds, and her misdeeds.

"I'm notoriously difficult to please. I can, at times, be rather rude, or curt. One in the same, really." Arabella did not waver in her convictions. "I tend to expect perfection in any and everything. Above all, I expect devotion to God above. No act in His service will go without some form of reward." Reward, of course, could mean punishment if certain actions were perceived in just so certain a way. "Don't let any of this scare you from your duty. That is not my intention. Rather, I like to set realistic expectations. All of this is to say that I am not without kindness. Something I have come to learn you are direly in need of."

The Queen sighed, and for a moment she let her mask fall, just a moment. "As you are, no doubt aware, The Princess of Wales and I embarked upon a couple of days charity work in London. As part of this, well, we were taken to the most miserable place. To say that my heart was broken would be a tremendous understatement." Arabella continued on, her voice trembling ever so delicately. "This coming from a woman who has lost both a husband, and a daughter. I am well familiar with the pain of true heartbreak." The Queen paused, as though forcing herself to stop a tear or two from falling with the sheer strength of her own will.

"Of course, I was lucky. I had the King to save me, as an Angel surely sent by God." Arabella could have thrown up at such a sentiment, but this was not the time to share her true feelings on that matter. "When the Princess and I were girls, our parents would often go to great lengths to remind us of the importance of good deeds, and proper lady like behavior. They instilled in a us a sense of appreciation for the less fortunate, and of the gravity of giving back."

The Queen smiled and shook her head. "They were saints for putting up with us, mostly me. The Princess, well, she was always on good behavior." Another slight laugh. "One time they took us to the Foundling Hospital. I suspect mostly as a lesson to me. Behave little girl or you'll end up one of them."

"We took it as seriously as plague. I don't think we could truly understand then exactly what we saw. Certainly there only things you can truly appreciate with age and experience. So at the behest of one of my husband's most trusted advisors, I returned to visit. My late mother-in-law was a significant patron of the Foundling Hospital. I never had the pleasure of meeting Queen Eleanor. But I'm told she was quite the force." Arabella paused for a moment, watching Mercy's responses, understanding that perhaps this was gravely uncomfortable.

"I've never been so horrified in my entire life. I have seen great acts of cruelty. I have committed great acts of cruelty. But this was beyond the pale." Arabella stood. "The abject horror of the treatment of those children, the neglect, the malnutrition, the beatings, the drugged infants a hall of absolute silence... Never in my life have I felt the absence of God as I felt there. And for that, I owe you an apology, Mercy."

Largely Arabella was unshakeable, she could remain a stone, but now she was trembling, and moved to the point where an outpouring of emotion, reserved, but outpouring for someone such as herself. "In time, I would be obliged if you will tell me of your upbringing. I understand that must be difficult, in fact, you must now be entirely uncomfortable. I apologize for that as well..."

--

"Nothing sinister." Alice commented rather cooly. "Her Majesty had me looking at fabrics ahead of tomorrow's meeting with Bertin." Alice's mind had wandered back to the variety of silks and threads she had seen, the vivid colours and patterns. All of that still rather amazed her. How the wealthy could have such things brought to them at a moment's notice. To have something of that, to call her own, now that was a life changing experience in and of itself.

Arthur had left, making himself scarce, a carriage allegedly carrying him had departed from the grounds of Buckingham Palace, but who was to say he was actually aboard such a thing? Surely his own staff at Marlborough House followed their orders and would say nothing of the sort. For anyone who was concerned, the Prince arrived safely at home that evening.

[DuchessLivilla]

Alexandra blinked at Alice's rather cool tone in her reply. That was unexpected. She bid her husband goodbye and watched him go then glanced at Alice again, unsure now what to say. She could not help but find herself wondering what Bella had said to her friend and if the young lady had been swayed by something. That might have been paranoia but still.

One could hardly blame her. She had few allies and here she was in the nest of vipers that was the court. Alice suddenly being cool was a concern. Alex, for something to do, started gathering up the cards on the table, even if it was supposedly beneath her. Finally though, she couldn't bear it and asked, softly, sounding suddenly rather young, "Alice...I...I hope I have not upset you? And if I have, I am very sorry for it."

It was truly something to hear a great Lady, the Princess of Wales herself, asking if she had upset her maid! Anyone listening would have laughed themselves hoarse, but naturally, to Alex, such things did not matter. She loved and valued Alice as a friend, and if she had done something to cause her to cool towards her, she wanted to know so she could make amends!

-

Mercy listened and swallowed a few times, looking anywhere but at the Queen as she spoke. The very mention of the place made her nervous, as if, in a second, she might be sent back there, and who knew what would happen then! Still, in the way many of those who had been greatly abused, the young girl, without any emotion, as if she was describing the weather, said softly, "Yes, Ma'am...I...I was once one of those babies, I am told. I...I was admitted as a newborn, my mother was a maid and found herself in trouble after the Master's son...well...I...I'm not sure what but it resulted in trouble. I only know because one of the girls who was a nurse when I came, is now a teacher there and remembered me. I was sent to the country to a foster family..."

Here, she smiled and a little colour came to her cheeks. It was clear that had been a happy time. "My foster mother took in three of us, under five. I was just a baby but she also had two boys, one with a weak leg and one with a bad chest. Oh, it was so beautiful there. A little cottage, with her and papa, and the boys and her children. We played in the woods, and the rivers and..."

She sighed. "And she never told us. Not...not even at the last moment. I'd noticed, of course, that John and Michael had gone, one after the other but I believed her when she said they'd be back. Then one evening, we have chicken, which was rare, papa had killed it specially. And the next morning, I had cream in my porridge and a little sugar and she tells me we are going on a trip. I hated the train, it was so loud and the city was dirty and noisy and crowded. Suddenly we are before the gates of the founding hospital. I had no memory of it, of course, and then...one moment I am holding my mother's hand and the next she is gone and I am being taken down a corridor by a nurse, calling for her. I was five years old, that month, in fact. And...that's when I learnt she wasn't my mother, and my siblings weren't my siblings and that I was a bastard and the hospital was now my home."

Mercy swallowed again and glanced at the Queen, unsure how honest she could be. The Lady had seemed genuine in her horror so she supposed it did not matter if she told all. "My clothes, the ones I knew, were taken away, along with my rag doll, and I was dressed in stiff, grey clothes, and boots that cut my feet. My hair was cut short, in case of lice, and covered with a cap. Then came lessons. I couldn't sew yet so was set to holding spools for the girls who could or fetching new needles and such. Meals were taken in a huge room, with benches. All girls together, from little ones like me to the big girls. An hour a day we were allowed to play outside, and there's a big wall that separates the boy's ward. I kept hanging about near it, in hopes of hearing my brother's voices but the nurse saw and made me stop."

At night, no matter how cold it is, we have to undress to our nightgowns and get into bed in just them, no socks, nothing extra. We sleep in rows, with maybe fifty girls of about the same ages, so five to seven etc in together. The same thing...day in, day out, only tiny changes as you learn more and start new lessons. Chores too. Punishments. Chapel each morning. Christmas, things changed a little...We'd all receive an orange and a penny. Of course, we could not spend it on anything. When I left, I had 1 shilling, and 4 pence saved, from all those pennies. It..."

Here she paused again, unsure. She bit her lip. "It was taken when I arrived here, Ma'am, to be put towards my uniform."

[Hannelorian]

"Upset me?" Alice blinked a couple of times, taking a moment to ponder her own tone and the way she had responded to the Princess. "Not at all." Alice's tone had notably warmed up as she looked at the Princess with a smile upon her face. "I think I was just lost in thought." Alice attempted to explain, but she struggled slightly with thinking of the proper words. The young woman, a maid by any standard took a seat and sighed. "I think I feel guilty?" Alice questioned not only her choice of words, but her feelings as well.

"They say when one survives some great tragedy, but others have perished. Others who it seems so cruel that life, that God would take them in such a way... the survivors feel guilt and wonder why they were chosen to be spared." Alice of course meant not to put herself directly in this comparison. "It's something like that... I feel guilty sitting here in a palace, looking at such incredible fabric. Fabric that was chosen for me, to be made into a grand ball gown or something for me..." Alice seemed to trail off for a moment.

"But I'm just a maid." Alice smirked for a moment having been brought crashing down to reality. "Something so indulgent, but there are children so unloved, so suffering, quite literally dying, and I'm looking at fabric." It all seemed somewhat preposterous really. Why should she have escaped such fate? "The audacity of such... I was barely better off than those children, I didn't have much but at least I had love... and what now? I'm suddenly vaulted into a life of such luxury over what... random coincidence? I just happened to be in the right place at the right time? Kind? Isn't kindness the most basic thing we can be? Is it not what God commands of us? Should we be so rewarded for simply doing the least to fulfil out duties as servants of the Lord?"

Alice looked up toward the ceiling, it was ornate, elaborate, beautiful patterns carved into the wood, so delicately painted into impressive gold hues. "Do not mistake me, I am grateful for every opportunity you've afforded me, but I can't help but wonder if I'm truly deserving of such treatment. Perhaps I am better off simply knowing and respecting my station as a maid. And not trying to be something I am not, which is a lady. Perhaps I should simply be sent off to another family."

Of course, Alice did not want this, but here, today she couldn't help but cradle her guilt, to cradle the joy she held in her advantages and ask God why. Why her? Common sense would tell her to be glad for it all, to never question it, to simply take from the rich for they had too much and she had so little. What would be the harm in helping herself? They were born into this world and she was not, she was an outsider. "Everyone shows you kindness and generosity. Even those who talk about you behind your back. Even those that stare, when push comes to shove you are the Princess of Wales. Before that you were a Lady, sister to the Duchess of Suffolk. I mean, we are obliged to serve, we are obliged to be kind, no matter how we feel, how much we resent everything that we are forced to serve for our own survival... I do not believe you can truly imagine what it is to be one of us. You were never going to want for anything, the Queen... for all her sick and twisted games she came to defend you did she not? She begged for your marriage, did she not? She's all talk. She wouldn't put you out, not like that. Or maybe she hasn't had the real chance yet, who am I to say? But you don't know what it's like to push off scraps of food so your siblings can eat. That is my world, that is who I am. Women like me don't become women like you. We marry, we have children, and our children serve your children and your grand children."

Alice stood up once more and shook her head. "I am a play thing. I am something to be decorated and adorned. I am to be play with until you grow tired. Until the Queen grows bored of her little amusements and games. I put my humanity aside because I have no choice. If I don't do this, if I don't send money home, my family starves, and I shall starve too. I could die tomorrow and no one would bat an eye because I'm just a servant. My heart aches for those children, but not just as they are now... but for what I know they will become. Are the ones who survivor truly the lucky ones?"

Alice moved toward the door of the chambers, almost in tears but not quite. "If you will excuse me, your Highness. I must change into my uniform, and with your permission I shall go down for the evening and send up one of the others to attend to you." Alice, in her own act of defiance did not wait for permission, she simply turned the handle, open the door and stepped through, allowing the guard to seal it behind her. Perhaps she had sealed her fate with that, perhaps she hadn't. Either way Alice was determined to think a little harder about her own life.

--

All the while, Arabella simply sat and listened to Mercy. She felt not need nor compulsion to interject. She listened with open ears, open heart and kind eyes. The changes in Mercy's voice were clear, despair from childhood, a surprising light at those days spent in happiness in the country with other children, siblings. That part was easy to listen to, easy to focus on, happy stories, or happier ones at least. But even in that there was darkness, intense darkness that threatened to envelope all of the light.

"It's funny, or perhaps rather sad... that we still can refer to a woman getting pregnant as being in trouble. But I suppose that's really the truth of it in our day and age. Your mother was in trouble... and had precious few options available to her." The Queen shook her head. The story she was hearing, or rather had heard was one like so many she had heard before. Men did as they pleased and women and their children were forced to suffer the consequences of those actions.

The Queen did not smile, but her eyes never left Mercy, not at all while she spoke, and even after she had finished. The story was still compelling, and it strengthened her resolve to put an end to such practices. She would start with the Foundling Home, but she was determined not to stop there. Christian would, continue to her indulge her, especially during a pregnancy if she was so lucky. "You've been through a lot for a girl so young. 16 years you've lived but an eternity you have suffered."

Arabella could not help but to sigh. "I will ensure that your money is returned, and your uniforms are paid for." That was the least she could do, though it seemed like this would not be enough, nothing could be. "I've always heard of how children are treated in such places... but to see it, to be confronted by reality is something entirely different. You've done remarkably well for yourself, and you should seek to use the opportunity of your employment to begin to discover who you are independent of such an upbringing."

Folding her hands together she looked down at the fabrics. "You're afraid to touch these kinds of things... you shouldn't be. These are just things, just materials. They don't mean anything. You are the thing who means most. Don't forget that." Arabella stared out toward the windows for a moment as the sky grew ever darker. "I'll put to an end to it. I must put an end to it."

[DuchessLivilla]

Alexandra, had she had the chance to reply, doubted she could have thought of what to say that would have helped. She stood, a little stunned, as Alice unburdened herself. Each sentence felt like a dagger in her heart. Each word made her realise, more and more, how foolish she and the Queen had been. Alice was right. How could they know suffering? For all they were prisoners...they were prisoners in a gilded cage. Some things would and could never touch them. Even as women, they had power that a girl like Alice could not dream of.

She swallowed as her one friend, or so she had hoped, vanished without waiting for a reply. Maybe she had been in a fool in that too; she and Alice were so different...How on earth could they be true friends with such a gap between them? The Princess had thought it all so easy and fun; they would make the maid a Lady and give her all she could dream of..and it had never once occurred to her that Alice might be struggling. That was privilege for you.

"God forgive me," she thought as she sat down on the nearest chaise, staring down, dejectedly, at her gloved hands. She had been so stupid. So selfish. God, she had been everything she hated. Every spoilt, silly Lady who thought of nothing but herself, and she had not even noticed! It was so ingrained in her type and rank she had been blind even to herself! She had thought she was doing Alice a kindness, and yes, she was, in a way, but who did she think she was in that regard? Alice had not asked for it. She had assumed, as had Bella, without a second though, that the girl wanted this...

"We may as well have said 'how on earth could she be happy, so low as she is' and then took it upon ourselves, like a game, to improve her circumstances." She bit her lip and closed her eyes. In doing so, she had thought to help and make a friend...and now she saw she had likely alienated that friend and cost herself the friendship she had so valued.

Suddenly, with a cry, she tore them off and threw them to the carpet. It did not settle her pain, which felt as if her heart was breaking, along with anger, at herself, at their world, at everything. She snatched up an abandoned poetry book and hurled it at the door with all her might.

It struck, with a loud thump and broke apart, falling in two pieces to the floor. The image, like two sides of a heart fluttering down, made her burst into tears. She held her head in her hands and sat forward, letting her emotions flow freely.

She did not hear, in fact, when the door opened an one of the guard's peaked in, concerned at the noise. He glanced down at the torn book, then at the weeping Princess and put two and two together. Then, like a good servant, he closed the door and resumed his post; he had, of course, seen nothing.

-

Mercy blushed and smiled shyly. "You need not concern yourself with my wages, Ma'am...I...I have never been to a shop in all my life, and I'd not know what to do with money anyway! Please, put it towards your charity works! I want to help, if I can...I...as you say, I know what it is like."

The young maid glanced again at the fabrics and bit her lip. Shyly, and as if she was about to touch a sleeping cat, she reached out and let one finger trail over the heavy brocade nearest her. She gasped softly. The feel of it, all those textures, the details and stitching, it was so vibrant and beautiful. "To work with such fabrics, Ma'am, what a gift that is..." she said softly, almost to herself. "To create beautiful clothes, almost art in themselves. These are not just things. They shall, I am sure, endure. After all," she blushed and glanced at the portraits upon the walls, some of many decades before, "These portraits and their occupants and outfits are still on show, even if the sewer's name is lost to time."

[Hannelorian]

"Clothes don't make the man." Arabella said, smiling at this point rather softly, the corners of her mouth ever so barely upturned to form the desired shape. "Or woman, for that matter." As always such quotes were always in reference to men, it was as though women did not exist or were some sort of creatures rather than persons unto themselves. "The Priests tell us, that our actions upon this earth determine who we truly are, and what our place is in heaven." For a moment Arabella walked along the edge of the room, stopping before a portrait of a man, his hand resting on an ivory handled cane. He wore a dark suit, hair perfectly quaffed, his expression somewhat of a mystery. "Isn't that something? We live our entire lives preparing for our death." The Queen stared at the portrait for a moment longer before turning away.

"Creation is our ultimate gift. It is what makes us superior." Arabella took a turn for the more serious. "Take a look at this portrait here, dear Mercy." Arabella raised a gloved hand to rest on the edge of the golden frame. "Do you know who this is?" Arabella expected the answer to be 'no.' "I wouldn't expect you to. He's my grandfather on my mother's side." A brief sigh as Arabella quickly looked upon him once more. "He was called Archibald, a miserable old man. Though he had an incredible fondness for Alexandra in his dying days. She looked so much like our mother, he couldn't keep his head straight." Toward the end Archibald had virtually no idea who Arabella was, let alone her mother. "When you look at him, you wouldn't know. You can't see struggle. That's not how the artist painted him."

Arabella moved to step aside to allow Mercy to look at the man. "I chose this painting. In fact, I chose every single painting in this Palace. I know them all, backwards and forwards." Arabella was not here bragging but rather seeking to make a point. "But at Windsor?" She began. "I can only point out a few and tell you who is portrayed. King Charles I of course, he's practically everywhere, nearly in every hallway. In most bedrooms too." Arabella rolled her eyes emitting a slight chuckle. "My father-in-law, my mother-in-law, sure... easily recognizable when you grow up studying and lionizing such figures."

"But most are completely unknown to me. I like to play a little game, where I go around and create names and lavish backstories for them. But few exist to remember them, we only know what an artist has chosen to show us. That is the power of creation." The Queen returned to her seat, and classic position her hands once more folded in her lap. "Do not crave the feeling of high quality fabric, that will bring you no reward in the end. But if it pleases you, do not fear it." This was Arabella's way of granting her continued permission to touch. "The portraits are for nothing, if not for the women who birthed those figures. And the strangers who raised them."

Looking up again out from the grand windows, like the entire world was before her. "This is our power. We cannot create life, without a man, certainly. But is we who carry it, and we who care for it. Never forget that you wield great power, no matter what anyone tells you." A final sigh before Arabella rose one last time.

"I've had you added to my regular service. You'll be among my regular cadre. I should tell you now... that may see some things." Arabella clutched lightly at her arm, deep bruises hidden by the length of her glove. "You'll pay them no mind. You'll be reminded that even though I live in a gilded house, it is little more than a gilded cage." Another smirk before Arabella made her way toward the door. "Walk with me." Arabella commanded, though softly, and made her way out of the room and toward her apartments. "I expect the Princess to visit me shortly." Of course Arabella had no earthly idea what had transpired between her sister and Alice.

Alice who remained now comfortable in her uniform in the small chapel used solely by the staff of the great house, on her knees praying before God and all that was holy for some degree of direction.

[DuchessLivilla]

Mercy was a little lost as Arabella spoke. Not because the Queen had not been clear, merely because it was a lot coming at her all at once and she was not used to being spoken to as...well, an actual person! Still, she listened closely and tried to retain all she heard, nodding when expected to and looking at the portraits shown.

She hurried after the Queen as she left the room, glancing back briefly at the bolts of cloth. She felt a deep and sudden longing to be a seamstress or some such; whatever the Queen had said, to sew and create such beautiful gowns...Would that not be a great purpose in life? Still, Her Majesty was right, of course. She had been given a chance here, as a maid, and should not waste it on silly dreams. She had not been apprenticed to a seamstress; she would be a maid, and that was that.

And, maybe one day, a wife and mother.

"Yes, of course, Ma'am," she said as she fell into step behind her. "I...I was told that when I came here. A...a good servant sees and hears all, and yet nothing," she said, blushing. She wondered how that was possible. Surely if one saw something...what had the Queen said? Unpleasant, then surely one must say or do something?

Mercy swallowed. It would be a challenge, from God, and like all such, she had to overcome it. Still, this was a happy day! She had, by some chance, become maid to the Queen! Such was a gift indeed! "Ma'am? Do you need anything prepared for Her Highness's visit? Um, tea, perhaps?"

She glanced at the windows of the corridors as they walked; it was growing dark already. How quickly the day had gone. Is that what ladies did at night? Take tea? She wasn't sure but it seemed a safe bet.