The Appalling Strangeness of the Mercy of God [M - Hannelorian x DuchessLivilla]

[Hannelorian]

The Priest...Anthony was more logical and indeed more convincing than Arabella may have been prepared for. She could not argue that he was right, regardless of whatever child she or her sister had, war was likely inevitable. A full on conflict, armed to the teeth in which so much life would be lost. Brother against brother. It was a grim thing to consider, but it was worth spending a moment here or there to do so.

How many times in her life had the Queen heard the phrase that God never gives one more than they can handle? Too many to count. How many times had she said that to another? Too many to count. But when Anthony said it, when those words left his lips or something close enough to that effect she could not help but be struck by them, and for once she may have actually believed them. It would have been difficult not to believe Anthony. His words were calm, and he was a man of God. Truly a man of God and that was something that appealed to Arabella.

A genuine piety, the kind Anthony exuded was enough to send a flush through Arabella, it reminded her of Richard for just a moment, and she would quickly need to cast an appropriate though from her mind. He was a priest, and she was married, he was not Richard. He was not her current husband, such things were foolish, and momentary. She believed in him. She believed him.

"Thank you..." Arabella said softly as he transitioned from her situation to that of his upbringing. He was a foundling. He had been raised at the same hospital she had just seen not long ago. He was one of the unfortunate souls to have to suffer at the hands of overseers that did not care for them, but used them as little more than a means to a paycheck from the patrons. "My God." The Queen said as she found herself drawn closer to him, she took several steps forward until she stood before the seated figure. A slender hand raised up and moved slowly closer to him, coming to rest upon his cheek. Her thumb was now stroking his cheek. "To grow up without the love of a mother... and to grow up in a place where the light of God barely shines down..." Perhaps it was her hormones, but tears began to form in the corner of Arabella's eyes.

"I've been there... not long ago. I...was appalled, shocked by what I saw there." Arabella also understood she was crossing yet another line with her hand upon his cheek, but she didn't really care. Priest or not he was a person who deserved comfort and some degree of affection. "But even through the suffering you heard His calling... You have no idea how lucky you are, for just that much." Arabella understood further he was not lucky for his upbringing, but to hear a calling from God was the most magnificent and important honor one could receive.

"You are no longer a prisoner. You are no longer forbidden to ask that which troubles or interests you. If I am not a slave to the will of another, save for God, you are not a slave to those who deny you the quest for knowledge and understanding. I pray you will not keep your voice trapped in your head, not with me." Arabella was on the verge of bawling, but she held back as much as she could, a small smile painted across her face. He shared her feelings of imprisonment of being trapped. For the first time in her life, perhaps, she felt seen and validated. Not as Richard had done, but that seemed like an entirely different life compared to this one.

[DuchessLivilla]

Anthony smiled gently, "You do not need to thank me, Your Majesty. I am your servant, but that aside, I am merely speaking truth, for which no thanks is needed. Still, thank you. I can see that to be honest was a strain for you, and I understand why. I shall cherish it for that sake, and yours."

He jumped a little when she cupped his cheek but made no move to shift away nor remove her hand, likely due to the fact she was the Queen, and to touch her was very nearly a crime. It might well actually be one, with their current King. Christian would see anything like that in it's worst possible light. Best he kept his hands folded on his lap.



"I...Ah...I...Yes," he stutter, swallowing nervously. "Still I...I did know love. Not all the nurses were indifferent to us...some, mere girls themselves, had grown up there...They..." he sighed. "They tried their best but when you have known so little love, it can be hard to give it...I pray for them, daily, and the others still there."

He blushed and smiled at her, meeting her gaze, shyly, but honestly, "Thank you, Majesty. I shall endeavour to speak honestly to you." He glanced at the clock on the mantle and said gently, "Your Majesty, it occurs to me...you might wish to send word to Her Royal Highness, before too long. His Majesty shall be most pleased with the coming news and it will not be long before the whole city knows of it. I...Forgive me, but given what you believe...Perhaps the Princess should like to know the news before it comes to her over lunch with the afternoon press."

-

For the King, entirely unaware of what had transpired in the early hours of the morning, his day began like any other; he rose, washed and dressed, or rather was washed, and was dressed, before he attended chapel alone in his private closest. He then took confession before he made his way to the breakfast room to await his wife.

Christian, at ease as ever, sat, a copy of The Times, in hand, reading when his wife appeared. "Ah, there you are darling," he said, beaming at her. He folded the paper and set it down, snapping his fingers for their tea to be poured. A footman hastened forward to pull out Arabella's chair. "I trust you slept well? I am sorry I could not visit you last night...Business matters detained me in the city," he chuckled, picking up his cup and drinking as the servants starting bustling in with covered dishes of cutlets, potatoes, bacon, eggs, sausages, toast, cold meats, and everything else one could imagine.

Where he had actually been was better left unsaid.

[Hannelorian]

"You're a very smart man Father." Arabella said softly, this time moving her hand away from his face. For a moment she simply stared at it. His skin had been so soft, and she wondered if she should have spared him the affection. No, it was hers to give, and hers alone, so she would do as she damn well pleased. "I will pen a letter for Alexandra." She smiled and took a step back from the priest, her eyes taking a look over the whole of him. Yes, this was a decision she had made and could not retract, though her darkest secret remained hidden for now. She had to trust him, it was her only path forward.

"You may return to bed." It felt odd to dismiss him like she had, but of course that was what was required. No one took their leave of her, save for the King. The rest simply waited until she said something. "Please know, you have brought me great comfort this morning. I shall not forget your kindness." Arabella clasped her hands in front of her and motioned toward the door to the study. "I fear you may have been wasted on the church." It wasn't until after she had said that, did she realize something and wished she could have taken it back. "I mean to say... in another life, you would have made a lady very happy." The Queen bowed her head and took her leave of the room first, turning down the hall toward her bed chamber, hands thrown up in the air she spoke to herself. "For God's sake Arabella the man is a Priest." She swallowed hard, almost embarrassed that for a moment she had felt her heart come aflutter.

By the candle light at her private desk, the one where she did almost all of her correspondence she set pen to paper and began to write her sister.

Dearest Alexandra,

I should hope this finds you well. You will be pleased to know the press from our little tour went over well. Then again, I suppose by now you would have had Arthur read it to you. I do hope that you have the light of true faith and understood the fundamental calling that is our charitable works. It would be best you take much rest in the remaining months of your condition. His Majesty and I would hate for something to happen as a result of carelessness. Be well dear sister, and know that I love you.

Ever in Christ,
Arabella R.

Included in milk, as ever was the message not intended for the prying eye, spare her any accusation, but the true text as it was meant to be.

A,

It filled my heart with such joy to see you. My God you're looking so well. Pregnancy suits you. I only wish it could have been longer. You needn't worry tender heart, I am quite well. In fact, I must be honest, at the urging of Father Lennox, I should confess.

I fear I am with child. I know I am with child. I pray this message finds you before Christian tells the world. As of this writing I haven't even told him yet. But on to happier matters, you will have attended Kent's dinner party when you read this. Oh I do hope it went well. I'm sure Alice looked ever the picture of perfection. Do tell me she and the Duke have a bright future. I love you, with all my heart, whatever I have left of it. Don't find trouble. If you can help it.

Love,
A.

--

Arabella entered the breakfast room, the silk blue of her gown trailed along the floor behind her. For her husband only she wore off the shoulder sleeves, short ones that allowed much of her arms and neckline to run exposed. Her face was bright, hair done up in a neat bun, a small tiara of diamond and sapphire atop her head. No gloves. Arabella had cast them off when it was just her and Christian, as he seemed to enjoy seeing her flesh, but she would don them before leaving the morning meal, along with a long shawl to change for the day. The breakfast as well as evening outfits were for Christian alone.

"Good morning my love. I apologize for running late. Correspondence got the best of me." Arabella was all a bright smile as she strode her way from the beautiful wooden floor onto the ornate rug which silenced her steps. Her hair was pulled out and her tea poured but before any of that, she would walk right up to the man and kiss him upon the lips with all of the passion that screamed desire, even though that was the last thing she had in mind.

"A night away from you only makes my heart grow fonder my darling." Ever the actress she knew what to say and do without fail, and thus she kneeled before her husband, looking up at him, her hand reaching up and out to clasp his and bring it down. He had been detained in the city, it was a wonderful thing for Arabella. Horrid for the woman he spent the night with. If they survived the encounter with her husband, which was not a guarantee, they would soon find themselves upon the pyre at the salvaging. Never to speak of what happened to them. Not a word. But it spared Arabella a single night of torture.

"Graves, make sure the King and I are not disturbed." Arabella called as she knelt, and the faithful shadow that was her man nodded and exited the room sealing the doors behind him.

"I have news." She began, still smiling as she gazed up at him like he was the only man in the world she could see. "God has heard our prayers. I am with child." She wanted to shudder with those words but she refused and held herself together. She thought of Lennox's words, and how they brought her peace. "I am certain of it. Not that there was any bit of doubt. You are after all, the Lord of all men on this earth." Indeed in short order she had become pregnant and this time there was no doubt that he was the father. She was carrying the King's progeny. "We must celebrate." She rose from her position and so deftly moved herself to his lap, her arms moving to wrap around his neck, and tears began to fall. They would appear tears of joy, when in truth they were the tears of a broken heart.