The Appalling Strangeness of the Mercy of God [M - Hannelorian x DuchessLivilla]

[Hannelorian]

For the first time in their adult lives the two sisters sat side by side with their walls down. There was no yelling, no belittling, no violent outbursts. The truth of it all was almost too much for the Duchess to handle. It was in this moment she truly understood just how much the maids and other servants talked to her about. It was something she had always known but never wished to accept. "Why did I resent you?" The wasn't the right question, rather, why does she still resent her sister. "You got to have the easy life." Arabella was not intent on changing the mood now, but rather it was time for the two to come to terms. "All of the pressure was on me as the elder daughter." Arabella smiled softly, unsure how to respond to her own emotions. "Everything Father wanted rested on my shoulders and it hurt. I loved Father, I still love him... but he was a man almost as impossible to please as I. But you were always there... threatening to take everything that Father had trained me for." Arabella was a viciously jealous woman, she had to be the best one, the only one.

This kind of intimacy simply didn't exist in their world. People did not express their feelings. They simply put up with them and put up with the world around them. Or... they would be crushed by it. "Very well, I will let the Marquess down gently. Richard too, will understand. You can choose who you wish to marry." Arabella, in some small part, suspected that she would come to regret this, but in her position at the moment, declining the request was not an option. A part of her was proud her sister had become so bold. Maybe she had learned something from the Duchess after all. "But you would really never see me again?" Arabella was torn, a part of her delighted in the notion that she could be free of her sister forever. A part of her though, could not stand the thought of losing her last living relation. The two girls would always be linked to one another.

"Alice and John... who would have thought?" Arabella shook her head, momentarily switching to the lighter topic. "I would not obligated either of them to wed at all, let alone to each other. Their station does not concern me, though I would like John to be happy." The Duchess was correct, they were lowly servants, they were free to do as they pleased so long as they did not bring disgrace to their house, and lived in God's image. It was also notable that she only wished for John's happiness, implying as ever that while Alice was a nice girl, she didn't much care for what happened to her. "I very much think she would be pleased to go with you when the time comes." Who wouldn't be? I mean Arabella was many things but delusional was not one of them.

"As for me... God will punish me. I live with no notion that I will not be made to pay severely for my sins. In life and in death he will punish me, as I will punish myself." Arabella honestly was not bothered by this anymore, she would not torture herself beyond what was necessary for her part in the downfall of Hetty, she would feel her guilt as long as it lasted, and she would note it and appreciate it. Arabella did, however, fear the wrath of God. But what was done was done and could not be anything more than it is right now. Her time would come, and she would face her judgment, for that is simply what they must do. She would naturally make efforts to atone for her sins through ardent prayer.

"Richard..." Alice mouthed almost silently as her sister turned her attention to what was the single most painful matter in her life. She could feel the heat in her cheeks and her eyes welling up, ready to burst forth at any moment. Not in dire hysterics as she had been the few days prior, but silent tears of sadness. "You must think me a fool..." Arabella confided, though what she was being told just now was new. She hadn't wished to consider that her husband was the problem and not her. God punished her for her wickedness. "I know..." She was coming to realize for the very first time, that perhaps she had been too hard on herself. "But you see..."

Arabella was uncertain if she should share this next part with her own sister, but as the two had finally started to get on ever so slightly. "I asked him to leave me... To ask the King for an annulment... or a divorce." An annulment would be preferable, though they were seldom given. It would forgive her and restore her, though more often than not society would condemn them, divorce was not pretty especially for those at the top. She would lose everything and become nothing more than a servant to a worthier family. "I told him that God had cursed me... I bring nothing but shame. Even if it is he who cannot... It is always going to be my failure." It was a raw moment of absolute agony for the Duchess. "I would rather he be happy, and do what it takes to carry on his family line. Between our childlessness and my little... outburst... The shame alone would crush the family." This was something she was not proud of, but that was her love for Richard. She would sacrifice anything and everything for him. "It would... decrease your marriage prospects... but you would finally be free from this, from me." Arabella now had tears streaming down her face. Why was she suddenly so open?

Arabella, had this been a normal day, would have slapped her own sister, crushing her for the very things she brought up. It would be unspeakable, but they were speaking about it. "I know about the child... I keep myself informed... the woman is.. unhinged and a mother." The words, a mother, they almost made Arabella sick. The one thing she needed to be, but could not. "Richard, as you might imagine refused my offer." It was clear he loved her, if nothing else he deeply loved his wife and his God. Despite what he had said about them falling together, she had no real way to know if he would ever risk defying an order from the King or not. Either way they had all departed from their roles.

"I cannot conceive, not in my current state... It is many months in between my bleeding." Arabella had nothing left to hide. "I've known that for a long time. So I've been letting myself die." Arabella knew that starvation, rather than a healthy act was incredibly destructive, but having years of no luck had often considered if she died that would be the best for all those involved. Her husband would be free to remarry, her sister would be free of the Duchess. Arabella smiled as she felt the touch of her sister. Of a family member she had once loved so dearly, had been so close to. "Give me children, or else I die." Arabella repeated. She had no express desire to end her life, she was not miserable save for the pain of her lack of children.

Admittedly the Duchess never considered the Alexandra was this concerned for her. "I suspect you didn't need my answer... Alice must have told you." The Duchess was content to allow Alexandra handle what had become her maid in any way she saw fit. In truth... it was almost heart warming, almost. "I pray to God you have children quickly... that you may meet an end different to my own." Arabella had almost accepted her fate as sealed. "Who? Who could I possibly trust to do such a thing?" It was interesting that Arabella had not declined such an idea, but rather explored it. "God knows the King has tried enough times but... I couldn't." The King was a noble man, a god fearing man, just one who didn't think the law applied to him in the same way it applied to everyone else.

Alice, meanwhile had found none other than Mrs. Lyle herself in the hall, with a glass to the door to her very room where the two ladies sat. "They aren't even yelling!" Mrs. Lyle spoke though in a very hushed tone. "What could they be discussing?" She wondered. The Houekeeper, though a loyal dog to the Duchess, often liked to stick her nose in where it did not belong. This was one such occasion given all that occurred in the house in recent weeks.

"Stop that!" Alice had to lower her voice as she started a bit too loud. "Just wait for the maids to discuss it later, like a normal gossip won't you?" There was a decent chance that Alexandra would tell her some of what was discussed. Though she wouldn't spread it. The Duchess wasn't saying much of anything these days while on her politeness campaign. Perhaps that was all for the best.

[DuchessLivilla]

Alexandra did not embrace her sister, as she might have done when faced with someone in tears; she sensed, she was sure correctly, that Arabella could not have born that…It would have been admitting her weakness. It was better to leave it be. She let her talk, let her vent, and empty herself of all that had been within her, and sat quietly, just stroking her bare hand as she spoke.

She glanced up at the door when she heard a muffled noise. It would not do to have eves-droppers at this time, not with a matter so weighty. She gently released her sister’s hand and rose, crossing to the door, her steps silent and graceful. She opened the door, so quickly that Mrs Lyle nearly fell into her. The housekeeper gasped and stepped back, hastily curtsying. She did not attempt to lie, there would be no point.

“Mrs Lyle,” Alexandra said, her voice cool and dripping with authority, “Excuse yourself, at once. You are rather too old to be listening at doors. I am sure the Duchess would agree. Now be about your work and we shall say no more.”

“Y-yes, Ladyship,” she stammered and hastily hurried away. Alice, shielded from view by the door and therefore from Arabella’s sight, received nothing but a brief glance from Alexandra before the door was closed. It seemed she did not wish to get her own maid in trouble.

She returned and sat down, re-taking Arabella’s hand, and smiling gently. “She can have heard nothing of note, sister, but it would not do for her to hear anymore…”

At the question of who, she looked down, her gaze settling on the patterned carpet as she considered. “No, I…I would not recommend the King. He is always open about his affairs, too open. Many a good woman has been ruined by him, and he might say it was passion, but I am unconvinced he did not force himself on them…either physically or by threats of taking their husband’s positions from then. No. And say it all went to plan, he might and could legally, claim the child and ruin all.”

She chewed her lip as she thought. “It must be someone low-born, who can be trusted or made to keep silent. A nobleman has too much to gain from such a tale…A servant, who would believe him anyway? Everyone would assume it was a fantasy…And forgive me sister, but the Duke cannot afford to ask questions.”

She smiled gently, “But before any of this…You must decide if you wish to live or not. You are killing yourself, slowly but surely. Soon you will have gone too far to recover. You are all I have left in this world, Bella. For all our disagreements and differences in character, you are my sister. I do not want to have to stand at a graveside and watch them bury you.”

Or be expected to wed your husband afterwards to make good the loss!

[Hannelorian]

Alice's eyes grew wide when the doors to the room had opened. She had heard Mrs. Lyle mentioned, but not her own name which she felt a welcome relief wash over her. At least today she would be spared a good bit of well... the Duchess and all that upsetting her entailed. At least, so it normally would. Alice too, after the door had closed made herself scarce, scurrying away to prepare the tea that been requested for her Ladyship's return to her own chambers. For a few moments Alice did wonder what was happening behind those doors. The quiet Mrs. Lyle had noticed was something of a rarity when it came to the sisters. Even in her short time at the house she had taken note of this.

"Was that Lyle?" The Duchess rolled her eyes amidst her own tears. "If she wasn't so bloody good at her job..." Arabella did not bother to finish her sentence. She was unsurprised by the old Housekeeper's activity. The whole house knew how she loved a good bit of dirt and gossip. "And even if any of that is true." Arabella began, in a most serious tone. "You must never speak of His Majesty like that..." Arabella, the believer she was understood that the King was chosen by God to rule as his divine representative on earth. To speak against him would be entirely blasphemous. "Please. For your own safety." The elder sister was not threatening the younger, simply reminding her that there were few crimes more dangerous. This was something of an automatic response, something she said without really thinking about it. She had long had to remind a good few people that this was the one rule that should not be broken.

"Very well, you shall not be rid of me entirely it would seem." Arabella had chosen to help herself for a change, though this would be a risky move. She supposed that there was risk either way. "I know you love me. Thank you for coming to meet me... I can't ask you not to talk to Alice, but I can ask you to please take care in what you tell her." Arabella knew they all talked, mostly about her, or the Duke or some combination there of. The Duchess smiled softly and wiped her eyes which had finally stopped tearing. "Let us try to regain what we once had." Arabella spoke softly, though truthfully she feared the two would never have a serious relationship, that in the end it would all back to the cruelty and harsh words.

The Duchess was unsure of what and how she felt. Her sister asking her to break the law to save her own life. Perhaps she was right and it was time for something a little more dramatic. The party would not be far away, and that was to be her first priority. There was always time to lure a servant to her bed. But not enough time to prepare for the Prince of Wales. The future King was coming and there was no stopping it.

Alice all the while patiently awaited the return of her new mistress.

[DuchessLivilla]

“Of course,” she nodded. “I shall say nothing, and I am sure Lyle shall not say anything either, whatever she may or may not have heard. She would cut off her own arm if you asked her.”

Alexandra smiled, “Think of the party and all that comes with it. You cannot act yet in any case, until your strength is recovered. This is not something to be rushed into; or we are all doomed. You and me both.” She didn’t need to voice it; if Arabella was caught plotting or heaven forbid, actually going through with adultery, and Alexandra had helped her or encouraged it, both would find themselves standing before the crowd on a salvaging day. “Speaking of, do you need anything help? I know I do not have your skills in being a hostess but if I can, I would like to be of assistance to you. You don’t need to tell me now, just know I am here if you need me.”

She rose and bent down to kiss her sister’s cheek gently before she took her leave. As she walked back to her room the conversation played over and over in her mind. She was, to put it bluntly, rather shocked her sister was considering it…It spoke to her desperation that was for sure. Adultery was a crime, and more importantly to a pious and true believer…A grievous sin for a woman. But what choice did she have?

Give me children or else I die.

She was in danger of death, one way or another, if she failed or was caught. Better to risk it and have the chance at success, Alex supposed. She wondered what she would do in the same situation. It was hard to know for sure, and easy to say ‘Oh I would do such and such’ now, when there was little threat to one’s life.

Alexandra opened the door to her room and glanced at Alice, “How much did you hear? Or did Lyle say anything?” She asked, closing the door as she spoke. She pulled off her gloves and left them on her bed before coming and sitting down, taking the tea-cup Alice offered.

[Hannelorian]

"I am so sorry." Alice took something of an informal tone but was genuinely apologetic over the whole incident. "I heard nothing I swear, your Ladyship." It was after all the truth, she had heard nothing. "I simply stopped to tell Mrs. Lyle to get back to work." The was certainly a fear in Alice's eyes, while she understood on a fundamental level that Alexandra was not the Duchess, it had been many months under a different mistress. "I have no idea what Lyle overheard... though I except it wasn't much. She just kept complaining about how it was too quiet." Alice had officially volunteered all of the information in her possession regarding the nosy Housekeeper, one who she also reported to in some way, shape, or form.

In the two days that had passed between that fateful discussion and the morning of the party there were some changes. The Duchess had begun to eat what was considered a normal amount, as opposed to typically meager rations. The Duke joined her in this pursuit, accepting that this was necessary to ensure she produced a healthy heir. Further, the Duke while somewhat dismayed at Arabella's decision to allow Alexandra to choose her own husband, accepts this reality and understands why this was how it had to be. Even he noted that it seems like she had indeed learned something from all of her years under the Duchess' care. He had however, discussed with his wife the new found danger (for Arabella's pride) that the attendance of the Prince of Wales might bring. Though he expected the young Prince much to sensible to make such a mistake.

As the day broke, not one but two ladies maids entered the Duchess room and drew the curtains opened. The girls were Henrietta and Maria, respectively, both young though with a fair amount of experience. Given the nature of the day, Mrs. Lyle though the extra assistance to the Duchess would be welcomed. The great house was anything but calm this morning. Every hallway, every gallery, every sitting room, drawing room, was in a state of disarray as final cleaning and polishing was conducted. Furniture was moved, carpets changed, the sound of footsteps echoing as every servant on the estate was set to work. The temperature below stairs was rising as the kitchens roared into life working double duty.

The Duchess found herself sitting up in bed and sighing softly as she waited for one or either girl to get her up. Arabella stared off toward the corner of the room, a full length mirror angled toward her. With her left hand she pinched the back of the white fabric that was her night gown, a bland, shapeless garment that was less than ideal but not entirely without its merit. At least the fabric was soft. She pulled fabric tight against her, looking at her frame in the reflection. It would take time, but at least she was eating. A part of Arabella didn't really recognize herself. "Good morning ladies." Arabella called, her tone soft, kind. Though that would change after the party, or after her sister finally left her home.

"Blessed day your Grace." The two called in perfect unison as they began to attend to her, taking her wash to and prepare for the whole ordeal that was the day. Of course then she would need to dress, but not dress for the party but rather simply walking around the house fixing, adjusting, checking for dust. There was nothing more stressful than a royal visit. "Would one of you take another servant and find John. Please tell him that his Grace is to be left to sleep in this morning. I don't want him wandering when the house is in such a state. At least until the rugs are all back..." The Duke was one for order, and there was something ironic in the way the house had to be undone to be properly cleaned and put back together. "Thank you." Arabella followed with and began to prepare.

[DuchessLivilla]

Alexandra had not been asked for her advice or help in planning; she had not expected to be really and would have been more shocked if Bella had come to her with a question. Much like the thought of an embrace when she was crying, it would have been one step too far for her to come to her sister and ask. Not that she needed help. Even Alex could admit her sister was unmatched in her skill at planning events and playing the hostess. It was an inbuilt gift. In another world, a freer one, one that sprang from the book she had poured over, Arabella could have achieved great renown as a social hostess, perhaps with a manor and money, a dead or absent husband, throwing parties and balls for the great and good…And enjoying life.

“Enjoying life,” Alexandra whispered softly, into the dark of her bedroom as she lay on her side, waiting for Alice to come. That was almost a joke and she laughed quietly. Enjoying life. Her newfound freedom, short lived as it would be, aside, life for ladies of their rank was not to be enjoyed anymore than it was for maids and serving girls. It was all about, dim stirrings of lessons coming back to her, and she remembered the exact phrase, written on every book in the schoolroom at home, “God, Family, Duty And The King.”

It was rather like ancient Rome and the cry of, “For The Senate and The People of Rome.” Though less diplomatic. Alexandra sat up and pushed her hair back from her neck with a sigh, her mind pondering Rome and its leadership. It was rather like the world they now lived in, with the council and the King taking the place of the Senate and Emperor. Had not King Christian made himself almost Christ like in images and the hearts of his people? They prayed to God, yes, but the King was always in their minds. He could order anything to be done, and it would be. Without thought. He was also, in private of course, as decadent as any Emperor apparently.

Something came to her mind then and she almost looked around, as if someone would overhear her thoughts. “Yes, and Rome fell…” She flushed and swallowed, the idea thrilling and yet terrifying. She might not have been overly pious or devout, but even she was stunned and a little scared of such thoughts. It was the fear of the unknown. She knew Britain had once been very different and freedom had been a known and common thing but…if the King died, and his regime fell, what on earth would come from the ashes?

Men like the Duke and his fellows would be in charge. Would they be worse? She doubted they would be any better from what she had seen. All loved power more than anything else. “What about the Prince? No one knows much about him…Maybe he would be a good ruler? Or maybe he would be worse too, having been raised by a man who believed he was almost Christ on earth, how could that not go to one’s head?”

Alex bit her lip. “Well, I suppose I shall see tonight, then again…probably not. For all Bella’s talk and fine words, I imagine I shall spend it as I do every party. In the corner, alone and ignored, maybe being allowed to dance once, with an approved widower who is old enough to be my great-grandfather and who looks quite dead.”

At least this time she would be in a beautiful gown that suited her so she would not have to stand the cold, cruel and judging eyes of the other ladies on her, mocking her just out of reach for being dressed in an old, out of fashion and or garish gown that made her look as if she was a mad, spinster aunt, from a bygone age, let out of the madhouse for a night.

Then again, likely they, Arabella’s friends, would all look on her with mockery anyway. She could have been in a gown fit for the Queen, and still been mocked. Old habits, as they say, die hard.

How would the male guests look at her?

Alex flushed at that and rubbed her neck distractedly. How indeed. She was not used to male attention in any way, shape, or form. She had never known many men personally; it was not the way in society, for one, and she had had no chance either, even if it had been allowed. What of her marriage? This party was a gift for her in that regard, she would have many men to chose from but…how did one chose? She had demanded of her sister that she had the choice but thinking on it now, she had no idea how to!

What had mother always told then? The golden rule, for ladies of their rank, was to never marry a second son if the first was unmarried. Easy enough, she’d been made to study the other worthy families so would know who was worth it and who wasn’t…Next, money and a title. She did not wish to be so shallow but given her own rank, she had little choice in that. So, firstborn son, title and wealthy…

What else? She supposed she should find them handsome and like them, but then again, how many noble marriages had that? Most found a vague respect and tolerance if they were lucky. Love, even liking, was rare. Despite herself and having seen the pain it caused, she wanted what Arabella and the Duke had. They loved one another, to their very bones. She wanted that. She didn’t expect it, nor even dared to hope she might get it, but she wanted it anyway.

Alexandra sat crossed legged on her bed, like a child and thought about what men she found attractive. She often watched at parties and had seen a few she found appealing. She had never spoken to any of them, but she had looked. There was no crime in that…was there? She bit her lip again and thought about it. It was often hard to know what a crime was and what wasn’t. And if it wasn’t a crime, was it a sin? Maybe.

The men she watched were always tall, normally with dark hair like her own and it was often longer or else slicked back, and they almost always sported dapper beards or what would one day be called designer stubble, that gave them a rather rugged looked. She had never much cared for the overly styled man, with his hair curled and his face smooth like a boy. Well, dressed, of course, then again, when had she ever seen a man at a ball not well dress? Arabella wouldn’t have let him in, even if he was a Duke, if he came looking scruffy. And, she blushed, she had always loved seeing men with their ceremonial swords on their belts. It gave them an air of authority and strength.

She blushed again and rose, walking over in the dark -she knew her room perfectly- to the curtains. She opened them a little, to let in the weak morning light, before hastily splashing her face with the water left in the jug on her nightstand. It was cool and, she hoped, took the colour from her cheeks. Alice and her had become friends, of a sort, but still, she did not want to be seen blushing like a harlot over such silly dreams.

It did not, for once, occurred to her, despite her perfect memory, that the prince matched almost exactly to her ‘ideal’ man. And even if it had come to her…She was not vain, or perhaps confident enough, to think he would ever notice her. This was not a fairy story.

As she was drying her face a knock came at the door. She smiled, “Come in Alice.”

-

Mrs Lyle, accompanied by Maria, sought out John in the silver room where he was, once again, polishing. He seemed to take pleasure in the task and was vigil about making sure the Master's silver gleamed. He looked up and nodded to Mrs Lyle.

"John, the Duchess asks that you delay waking his Grace until the halls and such are put to right. You know he dislikes the upheaval."

"Of course," John nodded again. "Thank you, Mrs Lyle. I shall let him sleep an extra hour or so, but I cannot delay too long. He spoke yesterday of having much to do."

Lyle smiled kindly, "I understand. Maria," she glanced to the maid, "Return and tell Her Grace that, so she is kept aware. I shall go and see how preparations are coming. As long as the way to his library and study are all done, he may work in peace."

[Hannelorian]

Alice was giddy, practically vibrating with excitement at the thought of the day. The work be damned. Serving at the pleasure of the rich and noble was her life, but here it was, her first real party. The who's who of the nobility would be present. The closest thing they had to celebrities would be here in this very house this evening. It was all too much for the young girl to take in. Never in her years had she imagined she would be present for such a thing. The events of the morning prior to knocking on Alexandra's door had seemed nothing but a blur.

"Blessed day Lady A." She called somewhat playfully upon being granted entry. Alice made her way silently across the carpets to the curtains which she tore opened in a flurry of excitement. With the room now bathed in light, she turned to face her ladyship. Despite her attempts at cooling her cheeks the blush had prevailed. "Someone is excited I see." Alice had taken to the relaxed etiquette when with the Lady Alexandra in private. There was a wide grin spread across her face. "Me too." She confided rather light heartedly. "Word has it that even her Grace is in a good mood." The idea of the Duchess being happy upon waking was something of a small miracle. Alice had now grown accustomed to knocking on Alexandra's door when she had already awoken. There was no fear, not tip-toeing.

"Just think of it Lady A, by the end of the night you could be betrothed to the Prince of Wales." Not a single part of Alice was joking, this was the faith she placed not in god but in Alexandra. The kindest mistress she had ever known. "They say no better looking man has walked the earth since the Black Prince." Never mind the fact the man had died hundreds of years earlier having let one and all down by dying before taking the throne. "Imagine Her Grace's face if he asks you to dance!" Alice understood she was walking a thin line with her commentary, but had enough trust in Alexandra that she might get away with it.

"He'll say something like how he'd never seen a rarer beauty on all God's green earth. How he couldn't take his eyes off you since the moment he arrived!" It was though Alice were living vicariously through Alexandra, though she remained quite sincere. "Alexandra, Princess of Wales has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?" Alice was relentless in her optimism. "This is it. This is your night, I'm certain of it." Smiling wildly the maid approached. "What shall we do, there is still time before the evening begins."

About an hour passed since Maria, on the orders of Lyle had kept the Duchess updated. The elegant woman had been dressed for the morning by Henrietta. Arabella now walked the halls with the two ladies maids' in tow. Just as John was about to enter the Duke's chambers she raised a silken gloved hand. "No, no, thank you John." She called essentially stopping the man from waking his own master. Approaching the heavy set of ornate wooden double doors, the Duchess looked genuinely pleased. "Allow me to wake his Grace." The Duchess rested her hand on the door knob. "Besides, you have much work to do. It would be a pity if my sister were the only one coupled by the end of the night. You have much work to do young man." The Duchess smiled with abandoned and opened the door, entering the room and sealing the doors behind her. The two ladies maids, Henrietta and Maria stood snickering lightly to one another as the Duchess made her comments. "Off you go." Henrietta chided waving a hand in the air, dismissing him as though she were the Duchess. "He'll call when he's ready." Maria added in laughing lightly.

The Duchess navigated her husband's rooms in the dark with ease. Bringing herself alongside the man in his bed, she kissed his cheek. "Good morning darling, it's only me I'm afraid." This was an unusual event as the Duchess generally allowed John or another footman rouse the Duke. "The way to your study is clear, but do let me finish the rest of the house." This was more her word of warning, as she always gave before every social function they hosted. "I've had your uniform pressed, the medals and orders are set out for you. Sword as well, full dress." The Duchess had made sure that every one of her husband's needs had been attended to. It was a red letter day after all.

[DuchessLivilla]

Alexandra smiled at her maid and sat down for her to comb out her hair. She watched herself in the mirror of her dressing table and saw, as Alice had said, the blush still present. She let the girl chatter on, aware it was cathartic for her to speak her mind here, in the only room in the house she could actual be almost herself.

At the mention of the Prince of Wales though she blushed and looked at her in the mirror. “Alice!” She half cried, half whispered, “Do not talk nonsense.” She laughed, unable to stop herself, “The Prince…The Prince is not going to marry the likes of me. It would be like a Duchess marrying a servant. That is how different we are. It is not done. I imagine his marriage is already arranged, or at least being planned. He will likely marry a German Princess…Papa always said the German duchies and Principalities are the ‘stud-farms of Europe’.”

She smiled to herself. He might have been overly favourable to her sister, but she had fond memories of her father. A font of information on every topic, he would often speak openly, not seeming to mind that his daughters were there and could listen in. Maybe he thought they would not remember.

“Or else he will marry a Russian Grand Duchess,” she added softly. “What a prize that would be. I’ve seen portraits of the Romanov family and all their daughters and granddaughters are very beautiful. Arabella nearly fainted when she saw the jewels the ladies wore in their portraits! Diamond necklaces, rings, bracelets, hair pins, combs, and earrings, as well as jewelled tiaras and such. Even our Queen does not have such gems.”

Alexandra sighed and rested her chin on her hand as Alice brushed and set her curls. There would be more of this later but for now, her hair only had to be neat and tidy. Later it would be styled and pinned, and heaven knows what else. Bella hadn’t given orders yet, but she suspected they would be coming. Maybe she should ask her advice…it might put her sister in a good mood to be able to dictate to her. If she said that she was unsure what was in fashion and did not want to embarrass the Duke…Yes, that might be worth it.

She would send Lyle or a footman though, not Alice, with the message. She was not making that mistake again!

“Alexandra, Princess of Wales,” she whispered then laughed along with Alice. It was rather like being with a sister. Or a friend. Something she had never had as a grown woman. She giggled again and shook her head, “Don’t encourage me, Alice. It’s a silly dream. All little girl’s dream of being a Princess one day, I am sure you did too, but it will never happen. The Prince could have any woman he chooses the world over, he will not and should not pick me. I am beneath him in every regard and hardly a fitting bride for the next King of England.”

Still, now it had been said allowed, she could not shake the image of the Prince. His portrait, along with the King’s, hung in the Duke’s study and she had, once or twice, glanced at it. Now, thinking about it…He matched almost to the letter the type of man she often watched at parties and balls. Tall, darkly handsome with black hair and dark, expressive eyes…

Alexandra laughed again, feeling rather giggly and silly all of a sudden. Was this what it was like to find oneself on the precipice of marriage? She thought back to her sister. She had not been very pleased at first when she was told she was to marry the Duke. But love had come. It would not be something to ask her though.

“I think we should ask Mrs Lyle to fetch the list of the men who shall be at the party, along with the nobility book…That way I can go over who is coming and their names, titles and appearances so I can narrow down the choices. I want to be prepared. The Duchess has given me leave to choose my husband and I want to make sure I make the right choice; I shall not get another attempt at this. If I pick wrongly, I am trapped as surely as if I had married the Marquess!”

-

The Duke blinked his eyes open and met the gaze of his beloved wife, standing over him. “Ah…Dearest, what a nice surprise. For a brief moment I though John had taken leave of his senses and come to me in a gown!” He sat up, chuckling to himself, and taking her hand. “My dear, you look well today…I am so pleased. This is your night! You shall shine like the very sun, I am sure. Do not tell me the colour of your gown, I want to be surprised. No woman shall outdo you; I have every faith in you.”

He stretched and rose from the bed in his nightshirt and pulled on his robe as he did so. “Ah, good, good,” he nodded. “I’ll change later. The uniform looks well but it is rather uncomfortable to work in!" He laughed. Richard was in a fine mood. The Prince was coming, he would be wined and dined and charmed, and the Duke’s future would be assured. All would be well.

Alexandra would find some foolish man to marry her and be out of his hair. Likely it would be a poor match, for both of them, and neither would be happy, but damn her, it was her life to ruin. “I trust your sister is ready for tonight. I would like her matched and gone within three months. Two, if possible. Of course, we must follow form. We cannot accept a proposal tonight, it would be too rushed and hasty, and I must make a show of considering it, along with her dowry and such. But if we have an idea from tonight who is prepared to take her.”

He snorted, “And who, poor devil, she has picked. She shall choose badly. Girls her age always do. None know what is good for them. Had she left it to you, she would have had a fine match in Edward and a man who could curb her. Well,” he chuckled, “We have given her the rope, let us hope she hangs herself and we can be as shocked as anyone.”

[Hannelorian]

The wife, as her husband rose, tied the robe he donned into place and smiled. Her arms wrapping around him she pulled herself close, close enough to lean her head on his chest. The Duke was a good deal taller than she. "I wish I had your assurance my love." Arabella held nothing, hid nothing from the only person she truly loved. She did not love parts of him, or aspects of his personality. The Duchess loved the Duke in his entirety, in her eyes he could do no wrong. Even if he had accepted her offer and cast her aside, she would have done so gladly because it had been his wish. "Alexandra is still a problem. A rather confident problem." Arabella sighed and lifted her head to gaze into her husband's eyes.

"We must accept the reality, that even if the chances are slim, she still yet may impress His Royal Highness, and if she does... we're all in trouble." The idea that her own sister could marry above her was a nightmare. The idea that her sister could turn the royal family away from the influence and advice of the Duke was equally nightmarish. Arabella did not want to think it. "I pray he has his father's good sense, but he..." Arabella recalled the Prince's last visit some years ago. "He's a foolish boy. He has his head in the clouds. There is no fear of God in him." Arabella, normally, would not speak ill of the royal family, but with the two of them alone, she felt safety, the only time she ever felt truly safe.

"For all of her faults, Alexandra is not stupid. She is also determined to break me I know it. She wants us to suffer for some perceived slight we've committed against her." Arabella sighed, sliding her hands down her husbands arms and letting her fingertips embrace his. "I have done all I can to train her. Her fate is now in God's hands... and we shall have to suffer the consequences no matter what they be." The Duchess took a step back and let go of her husband's hands. "I have much to attend to... I just wanted to be the one to wake you." She smiled and made her way toward the door. "I can assure you that John is not in a gown... I will send him in. Would you put a little bug in his ear about his own prospects?" The Duchess asked as she made her exit, the two ladies maids having waited for her to emerge.

Alice meanwhile just listened to Alexandra, she had grown rather comfortable in her position and admittedly hadn't given too much thought to her own fate. She talked of royalty and jewels, of a life she really could not understand. Even now as she attended to the wealthiest of the wealthy, she didn't understand their society or their rules. What was the point? The end game? What did any of them actually do? None of it really made sense, but they were God's chosen, and she was chosen to serve them, and would do so simply because it was her duty. "I think the King should want him to marry an English girl, no?" Alice really didn't have a clue of what she was saying, but it seemed fitting.

"Is it not the goal to promote the virtues and riches of our own society? Of how Godly we are as English folk?" Alice hadn't the opportunity to get much more out before the sound of knocking at the door. The maid turned her attention to it and moved to answer. "I'll see to that." The young maid opened the door and quickly curtsied upon seeing who it was, the Duchess had arrived and like a hurricane it was often best to simply get out of the way. "Blessed day your Grace." The maid quickly moved herself out of the way to allow entry for the Duchess.

The Duchess smiled at Alice and stepped inside, she was squarely in her sister's territory now and as always, she was mindful to watch her tongue and curb her usual behavior. "Alex. Today's the first day of the rest of your life." Arabella was smiling as she stood across from Alexandra, casting her eyes to the dress as it sat snuggly on the form. "A beautiful choice." Even the Duchess could not disagree, the dress Alexandra had made for her was stunning. There was a quiet elegance to it. They were sisters, they were opposites, they were enemies as well as friends. There was hardly a word that did not describe their relationship, save for loving or perhaps kind.

"Are you ready?" Arabella asked quite genuinely. "What can I do to prepare you? To help?" The Duchess looked toward the clock, there was plenty of time to spare. If it was one thing Lyle was good at, it was making sure the whole house was ready for a party of the sort the ducal couple would throw. She was old hat at this.

[DuchessLivilla]

Alexandra smiled at her sister as she entered and rose, pulling her dressing robe around her as she did so. She glanced at the dress, laid out and waiting for this afternoon when it came time to dress. It really was stunning. She had never had such a gown in her life. “Oh,” she waved her hand, bare as she was not yet dressed for the day, “I had thought to send Sutton to Lyle, to ask for a list of male guests and the books of nobility. I want to make sure I chose well, for the family as well as myself, and it is best to be prepared. I would welcome any advice you have though.”

She glanced to Alice and smiled, “Sutton, could you go and ask Mrs Lyle for those? And perhaps some tea?” She looked at her sister again and gestured, “Shall we sit? I am sure you have much to do today, and it might be the only rest you get!”

The sisters sat opposite one another, before the unlit fire; Alex in her nightgown and robe, her hair brushed but aside from that, she was hardly ready to receive visitors in her room…Still, female family and servants did not count. What she wore today hardly mattered anyway; she would put on one of her day dresses and be done with it.

Tonight, was key. For all of them, she supposed.

“I think I am ready,” she smiled. “The gown is lovely and needs only to be put on. I would be grateful for any advice on hairstyles, I do not wish to clash with you, sister. It is your night. And, as I said, any thoughts on potentials for my hand.”

She stayed silent on the conversation she and Alice had been having. That was a silly dream. Alexandra had no delusions on that score; the Prince was here for business, and perhaps a little pleasure in the dancing, but he would marry some great Lady, a Princess or Grand Duchess, not an English Lady. It was not done.

And Alexandra would be no man’s mistress, Prince or not. She knew what happened to Ladies who made that fatal error. Yes, they received wealth and attention and jewels and the like…for a time. Only for a time. Until the man’s attention turned, and he looked elsewhere, then you put aside; either into a madhouse, convent or found guilty of a crime or some such. Even if you survived all that, your reputation was ruined, you would never marry, and if you had bastards by the man, they would be swiftly removed and adopted.

No.

That was something she would not do.

For all those reasons…And that it would please her sister too much to see her ruin herself.