The Appalling Strangeness of the Mercy of God [M - Hannelorian x DuchessLivilla]

[Hannelorian]

Now this something new. New meant something scary. The King's cruelty was expected, it was dangerous. But it was almost predictable. What would make him angry, what would make him throw things, that could be expected. Kindness, now that was something novel. When he was so openly glowing, so kind and giving, generous even. Arabella hung on to the man's arm, she smiled and nodded. Did as she was expected to do without a single fault or flaw. Though a part of her welcomed the praise. Even if he had solicited it from others for her. Arabella knew that she had done a spectacular job. She did in fact deserve this praise he was heaping on her.

What was wrong with enjoying it? What was wrong with being proud of the work she had done? The work that so many of the household staff he done? It was something she felt strongly about and for a moment... Arabella was on top of the world though, even if she as she did so she was waiting for the fall. "A dozen would be a blessing!" The Queen responded enthusiastically. Of course she would prefer them to be Anthony's and depending on whether or not or how soon Christian took up with her again she would have to take certain steps... to give her future children a chance at a proper father. "If my predecessors could do it, so can I. I will have as many children as the lord allows me." In truth, Arabella would be content with this was her last child.

The Queen did not enjoy pregnancy the way her sister had. She had not faired as triumphantly during the birth as her sister had. And while Arabella loved her daughter more than anything, and was certain she would feel the same for her son, she would just as soon be done with it all. Though... if Anthony did want a child of his own, she would give that to him without question. Arabella would do anything for him. From the corner of her eye she could see him watching her sister, and her sister clearly catching on.

It was of course rather convenient that at the moment the King had touched her, the babe within kicked. Either in acknowledgment or rejection of its father. In a few weeks she would be done with this part, and move on to the part she could not play with Beatrix, the role of a mother. Arabella would care for her child with every fiber in her being. There was no question of it at all. But what was this mood? Where did it come from? The Queen had unconsciously wrapped an arm around the King, holding herself to him, she looked up at the man and smiled ever so brightly, leaning upward now to return the affection with a kiss upon his cheek.

"I must admit we might need a bigger nursery." Arabella laughed turning into her husband rested her other hand upon his chest. The two looked like they loved each other. They sounded like they loved each other. By all accounts these two should have loved one another, but it wasn't meant to be. Arabella if she had known that truly he could not love her, she would begin to fear for her life. Even if he didn't take her life, he could just as easily send her to be alongside Elizabeth. That was a terrible thought.

Arthur took a step back and drew his wife with him. His voice was hushed and concerned, but to anyone who was watching them he was full of smiles and beamed brightly. He could speak with a smile no matter how grave or terrifying the subject matter at hand. "Something feels wrong. He's never that happy, especially not at these things." Arthur said as she wrapped his arms around Alex, mimicking a bit of a slow dance just the two of them. "I should go check on the children." Arthur was beginning to wonder... had he done something to his men? Had the King kidnapped his children? He wanted to know, he was... so afraid and there was no rationale behind it, no reason to any of it.

[DuchessLivilla]

That thought had not occurred to Alexandra; she did not doubt that her father-in-law, for whatever reason, doted on his grandchildren, Vicky, anyway. But now Arthur had said it aloud, she felt a jolt of fear that perhaps something had happened. Had they been foolish to think all was well and had been taken in? Were, even now, her children being removed from the room to be held for ransom to their parents good behaviour?

Still smiling, but with a touch of fear in her eyes she nodded to her husband and squeezed his hand briefly as they 'danced'. "Yes, go check," she added, glancing about to check but no one, not even Father Lennox, was looking at them just now, such was the King's display of affection for the Queen. "No one will notice just now."

She parted from her husband and watched him slip from the room -no one, indeed, noticed- before she fell into an easy conversation with two ladies about how stunning the décor was. All the while though she had one half of her attention on the King. It was most alarming to see him act as he was. There was something desperate about it. A desire to be the life and soul without really meaning it. It was deeply concerning to watch...

Alex watched her sister too, knowing full well that Bella, as attuned, if not more so, than her, would be on edge for this sudden change in behaviour. The King was a weathervane on which everyone made their choices, and this was a new variable that had to be worked out quickly!

The King, meanwhile, was entirely oblivious to the fact that at least three people were unnerved by him -though that was pretty standard for himself, and men of is ilk. It did not cross their minds people might be on edge around them- and chuckled. "Can you imagine? A dozen. In times gone by that would have been no matter of talk; how many of our passed Queens bore ten or more without any issue...Sadly, things have changed, and even the most pious of ladies might be denied such." He sighed, shaking his head. "The sins of the people are reflected upon their betters but we can hope the Lord overlooks such and grants my dear darling her dues," he kissed Bella's cheek again with a smile.

It was entirely clear that he believed this nonsense, as many of his fellows did too. The idea that a sinful common people had somehow blighted the wombs of great ladies who should have, by God's will, born numerous children. No one, not even learned doctors, knew what was causing the drop in birth rates that had been steadily declining for the last hundred or so years, but it was unlikely to be a common population 'sinning'.

Some had put forward that it was the great amount of factories and industries that were springing up, or perhaps the high speed of trains now affected ladies constitutions? Outbreaks of disease too, had perhaps caused the issue. No one knew for sure. Nor did anyone know why some women had no problems conceiving, and others, such as Bella before finally she was blessed, had years of marriage with no result.

Naturally, given the way of society, it was only women -poor and rich alike- who were blamed. Only women could be fruitful or barren...Never a man. It could and would never be his fault. Even if, in cases like Richard, Duke of Suffolk, a man had had several wives...none of whom conceived with him and yet his second wife had born a bastard child in the madhouse with no complications nor trouble.

"Still," Christian carried on, "You never know," he beamed. "We might break the mould, as it were. I can see it now...My beloved Queen, seated with our many children around her." He smiled again. "Now, dearest, show me around. I am eager to see your work. The corridors look splendid, I must say."

[Hannelorian]

"I can only pray to lead such a sinless existence. Though it is God's mercy that now I am allowed to carry His Majesty's son." Arabella played the part of a doting wife well. She was warm and hung on Christian's arm like she belonged there. When Elizabeth was not drunk during her latter years as Queen, she was perceived as frigid, cold, loveless, except when it came to Arthur. Though Arthur had been a rather handsome and precocious child, or so Arabella had always been told. Arabella for the longest time had blamed herself for the inability to conceive during her marriage to Richard. And now when the King used his words, they were weapons against her, even if he had not intended them to be as such. Arabella was a sinner, a sinner of the highest order. She had murdered essentially, she had lied, stole, cheated on both of her husbands. She was cruel and at times utterly merciless. God would not look kindly upon her.

"Thank you. Everything I do, I do for you and our God. Let our home be a reflection of His divine glory and grace." This was in fact, something Arabella believed in. Her decoration was an act of devotion to him, to show her thanks and gratitude for their Lord and all he had offered her. She wished for the world to see what she had done and see nothing other than a pious woman. A carefully constructed shell and image. To the people of the Kingdom she was just that, a pious woman, God fearing, a warm figure who revered her King and God above. Arabella would be everything she was not to the people of the realm. And they would look up to her, they would love her, no matter their thoughts of the King. Arabella was love and light.

"I would be delighted." She responded kindly as she led the King out of the room for the time being, where they could be alone and ostensibly take in the decorations. If anything it should have been a small relief for Christian, to be away from the madding crowd at least for a few moments. "A few moments of calm." She said softly, her eyes looking up at him. "You are certainly in a the holiday spirit today darling." There was nothing joking or sarcastic about her comments, though as with everything his good attitude would be underlined with a healthy dose of fear. "I would do it you know... give you as many children as God would allow me."

--

Arthur quietly slipped out and made his way down the corridors, retracting his exact steps he had taken to get here back to the apartments where his children lay. Outside the door Arthur stopped before the guards, his own men. "Any unexpected visitors?" He asked rather coolly, there was something of antsy look on his face. He was anxious and worried though in reality he had no reason to be.

"No your Royal Highness. Only the maid, Mercy was it? To change the bed linen and check on the children. Both are sleeping rather soundly." Inside there was of course Mercy, and a nanny who had been approved of by Alexandra to mind the children while the Royal couple was away. "Very well." Arthur said as he entered the rooms and made a line straight to his children. He looked upon them, leaned and kissed their heads. They were cooing and breathing softly. In and out of that infant sleep. He breathed a deep sigh of relief. "They're alright. Everything is fine. They're both perfectly well."

Arthur was met was a profound relief as she slowly exited the rooms quietly as he could to return to his wife. Once he had he slipped right beside her as though he had never been gone. "All is well." Arthur could not wait for the holidays to pass so he could get the two babes home where he knew it was safe, where he would not need worry about his father or anyone else for that matter. His house, all of his own people. He wrapped an arm around Alex and pulled her in closely. "The King and Queen have left us?" He asked curiously.

[DuchessLivilla]

The Princess breathed a sigh of relief when told all pertaining to the children was well. "Thank God," she whispered, closing her eyes briefly in a silent prayer of thanks. "I did not really think he would harm them but still...It is rather like being in a pit of snakes. You never know which might strike you." She glanced up and nodded at his question.

"Yes, he expressed a desire to see the decorations. I don't know whether he meant her to show him around the room here or elsewhere but Bella took him out. God rest her soul in that task!" It occurred to her then, without any pleasure in it, that the task of hostess now fell to her as the most senior -in rank anyway- lady here. She would much rather have had her sister remain and play that role just now but duty called.

Alex put on her 'mask' and smiled that society approved smile. "My Lords, ladies and gentleman, while our dear Queen shows the King around her handiwork, let us all be merry and bright, as the season demands. I am, most regrettably, unable to dance currently but I implore you," she chuckled, "to enjoy yourselves in my stead." She clapped her hands and the band began to play the start of a waltz.

She and Arthur would, in the King and Queen's absence -and had Bella, in her condition, been allowed to dance herself- have had the first dance but as she could not and Arthur had no desire to dance with anyone else, the most senior Duchess and her husband took to the floor first. Within a minute there were dozens of couples dancing, and the others were eating, drinking and enjoying themselves.

Alex and the Prince made tedious and inane conversation with the guests as they moved about the room; most avoided the topic of the two children, still unsure about it all and what they were supposed to say, but a few -more brave- offered congratulations and advice and such. Several ladies, older ones, with less to prove, talked of their own memories of this new-born stage and told the new parents to cherish it...it would soon be over!

"Of course," one old countess added, with a chuckle, "You'll have so many nannies and maids that you need not pay much mind to them! I remember my mother-in-law telling me that I was too fond of my children..." She laughed again. "I saw them for an hour, every day after tea and before I dressed for dinner or a ball. It was a little much. I think if I had my time again, I would not see them so often."

The Princess blinked at this and shared at glance with her husband. "Oh..." she laughed, a little unsure, "I had thought to see them far more than that! I remember those 'meetings' with mama and papa as a child and I have no intention of subjecting my little ones to it." She looked at Arthur, knowing and trusting he felt the same. Neither had any desire to re-enact the past! Their children would never look at them as distance and unknown figures, to be feared and respected, not loved cherished.

The countess chuckled, "Oh, dear Princess, we all thought that! I assure you, when the novelty has worn off...You will be happy to leave them to the nannies." She smiled, as if this was perfectly normal -which Alex knew it was- and moved off.

"Never," Alexandra said softly, shaking her head. "Even if I have a dozen, like that foolish woman told Bella, I shall never hand them off to nannies as if they do not matter."

--

As they left the room and Bella spoke, the King gave a soft, dry chuckle, without much mirth. He patted her hand, "Oh I know you would, if such was required. I do believe you would do anything if I asked or God inspired it. But," he paused, gazing at the garlands over the pictures as they strolled, "You need not concern yourself with it. If you give me a son, a healthy one, you can focus on him and that will be enough. I shall not ask anymore of you...If the child is a daughter, I shall know God has made his decision. We shall not try again. And I shall love her. Princess Victoria showed me that."

He chuckled again. "Love...Such a funny thing. Truly. I understand it now. When two people are in love, you can see it in their eyes. The way they look at one another, how they stare, their eyes full of admiration for each other. Their eyes...they smile, even though nothing is said. You can see this invisible thread connecting them. How powerful it must be. I thought..."

The King trailed off. This melancholy, almost amused, almost awed Christian was a new beast entirely and it was, as Alex had said, concerning. Anger, passionate, cruel etc one knew how to deal with. This...smiling, head shaking, baffled side to the King was...Something.

"Ah," he shook his head. "Never mind it. I am growing maudlin in my grey hairs. Now I am a grandfather," he laughed softly. "Truly, Arabella, you have outdone yourself. Thank you. You have made the season a fine one." He patted her hand. "A shame we cannot dance, that gown is made for it, but in a few months we shall have a fine ball to celebrate our own arrival."

In truth, the King, unlike his son and daughter-in-law, had never been much of a dancer nor had any love for it as a pastime. But he knew his wife liked it and so, wishing to please her, he expressed a desire to do it. He had to, he felt now, try. Now he knew the truth. He had to try. She deserved that, at least.

"I wonder why I never felt that with Elizabeth...She was weak, perhaps."

[Hannelorian]

Arabella was in complete and utter shock as Christian spoke to her. This was a man that had changed, he had some sort of revelation. He spoke of love and what he would or would not ask from her. "Christian..." her voice was low as she stood before him, her hands moving to rest on his shoulders as she pulled herself closer. "What about what I want?" The Queen was dumbfounded and unable to figure out how she could or should respond. "I want children. If we have a son, I want a daughter. I want more than this." Arabella looked into his eyes and saw something so different waiting for her there and peering back. "And of course I would dote on our son. I will dote on our son. I will care for him and nurture him."

She didn't know if she should be relieved or concerned. Should she be relieved that he was coming to these revelations? That he would leave her alone? Or would that make her feel even more endanger. "If God wills me a daughter... you will love her." Arabella reinforced his statement, but at the same time she felt her heart break, she had one daughter he could never have loved. "I've see the way you looked at Vicky... I think you realized something there." The Queen felt a tear run down her cheek.

"You said you weren't capable of love... and now you know that you are. You felt it... you felt the tug of your heart strings. And now above all you know for certain that you do not love me." Arabella forced something of a smile on her face though she wasn't happy, she was... conflicted. "You here... you are my husband. You don't need to love me. I don't need love to do my job as your Queen or as a mother to our child. But please know..." Arabella swallowed hard on her own words. "That changes nothing for me. I am here to do as you command, to serve you as my husband, as my King. I have the strength to do what needs to be done. I will never stray from my path."

Arabella struggled for breath for a moment, and surprisingly found herself wrapping her arms around Christian, just holding him there as he came to his truth. "I'm glad you found what love is. I truly am." She rested her chin on his chest and smiled up brightly at him. She was genuinely happy for him in that moment. Everyone should know what love is, what love could be. And now their roles were clear. "I wanted Christmas to be special. For me, for you, for those darling children. They won't remember it... but we will. I don't need a dance when I have your gratitude and appreciation... though I do have a surprise for you."

Arabella winked and parted herself from her husband. "The Princess Victoria will be playing a part in our little nativity tableau. I think you'll find it rather enjoyable." The Queen composed herself and took his arm back in hers and they would ultimately re-enter the festivities.

--

"I think you will find that Alexandra has many ideas that some might consider novel." Arthur contributed to the conversation with the Countess. "Though they aren't exactly novel are they? People all over this country, the world, raise their children themselves. Care for them, feed them, bathe them, discipline them. Why should we be exempt from such things? Are we all so busy we cannot devote a little time and energy to those of our own blood? Those who we gave life to? It would seem to me to be a rather basic thing. An obvious thing."

Arthur looked at his wife with a broad smile. There wasn't anything he would not do for Alex, nothing at all. And if she wanted to spend her life, as did he, in service to their children there should be nothing to stop them. No, they should both be heartened, and encouraged to know that they would shape their children's futures.