Scribble Stories [M]
The Inane Adventures of Imp and his Angels
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING STORIES INCLUDE HARSH LANGUAGE AND EXTREME VIOLENCE/GORE AND SEXUAL REFERENCES/SCENES.
Welcome to a world of random adventure! In the following stories written by myself and others of the Imp Show Crew(if they want), you will read of the courageous yet dimwitted Imp's daring adventures as he tackles RPA's many members of the Rogues Gallery and day to day problems.
Imp: "The fucking printer won't start! I keep hitting start but nothing lights up."
Sin: "Did you plug it in?"
Imp: >>
Close by his side are his angels who are the bearers of destruction and logic(for Imp's sake).
Alice, CeruleanSin, Edynol, Leoni G, Setsa, and SikstaSlathalin
Ill-advised guest appearances from:
General Koti, TwistedV, Wattz, and more!
Don't expect any exquisite works of literature here as this is directed more towards the silly theatrics and crass commentary on the subjects(spoken mostly by Imp). So please do enjoy!
Also to note, some of these works are a lazy-parody off of movies and TV.
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The Story of a Hero
The story of Imp's return to RPA and the introduction of the Angels.
Chapter 1
Introduction to a Folly
A quaint wooden home peacefully rests upon a beautiful mountainous region which is covered in lush green foliage. Goats wander joyfully, chewing on grass and flowers whilst birds chirp and colorful butterflies add to the rich surroundings. In the backdrop, a chopping sound slowly cuts into the beautiful moment. A military helicopter becomes clear in the distance and quickly approaches with intentions of landing near the cottage.
Within minutes, the raven black helicopter touches down. The once untouched land was now void of active life due to the mechanical disturbance. As the propellers came to a slow spin, the side hatch of the chopper opened, revealing several individuals. A prestigious looking general stepped out along with a well dressed soldier who followed him towards the cottage. The others remained in the chopper due to the low budget of this first chapter.
"So why are we all the way out here, again?" The soldier was distressed from the long trip and hoping the prize was worth it.
"Cause we need the best." The General simply responded, carrying on his way through the grass towards the cottage.
"His profile didn't look that impressive when I looked it over." The General then turned to face his timid partner. "He is not to be underestimated. Trust me."
After fixing his beret, the General knocked on the wooden door until it surprisingly opened on its own. With intentions to investigate, the two military personnel entered cautiously. Scanning the dark home, the General's eyes finally settled upon the corner of what appeared to be the living room. Candles were set around a dark figure in meditation. The candlelight flickered and reflected off the figure's long dirty blonde hair that reached to the lower mid back. It's black shirt and heart-covered boxers were not visible until the eyes of the two visitors adjusted. A surprising sight but at least he wasn't naked.
"Hello there, General." The figure's deep voice cleared the silence.
A smile grew on the General's face and he positively responded. "Good to see you are still among the living, Imp."
"Same could be said about you... Koti." Imp turned to lock eyes with the General accompanied with a smirk. After a quick back-flip, Imp turned completely towards Koti and the two old friends shook hands.
"So How did you find me?" Imp queried, pulling his hand away slowly after the shake. Koti's partner handed over a manilla folder decorated with sticky notes and thick paperwork inside. Koti's face was overcome with a concerned expression as to alert of danger at hand.
"We have our ways. It's the noobs again, Imp. They are on the rise and being lead by some malevolent despot."
Before Koti could continue, Imp stepped in. "Admins and Mods of this place getting rusty or what?"
"No." Koti quickly responded and proceeded to finish. "The Admins can't ban them due to no proof of wrongdoing. You're the only one skilled enough to get behind enemy lines and gather valid evidence of their supposed dark intentions. Since you've been gone for so long, you've been titled as K.I.A for this mission. They don't know you're alive." During his explanation, the general flipped through the folder, presenting images of the Noob Despot and significant noob figures.
"Oh? How did I die?" Imp was more concerned about his own image than the ones he was currently being shown.
"Well, we said you simply died in a fiery explosion." Koti smirked since Imp generally loved explosions. However, Imp wasn't pleased by that story. He was more so hoping to have bled out after killing a billion noobs or after having a heart attack from having an orgy with extremely attractive women and a plethora of highly crafted drugs... with an explosion that followed after. Wanting to carry the conversation on elsewhere, Imp looked to the bright and cheery outside.
"Walk with me, Koti."
The three individuals left to the wondrous nature that awaited them outside.
"These rolling hills and friendly animals are all that matter to me now. Even my art has become a major priority." Imp led the two around the corner of his cottage to display a statue of a man made of cans. However, once they were in full view of it, all they saw was a pile of cans. Some of which were crushed under hungry jaws as bite marks were visible. Looking to the right of the pile stood a goat chewing on a head-shaped can. Due to such a shocking and appalling sight, Imp was overcome with frustration. At the same time, Edynol was eying an empty can of Spam that sat to the side of the mess and proceeded to lick his lips at the thought of eating a portion of spiced ham.
"Fucking goats!" Imp furiously screamed and began chasing after the horrid creature that destroyed his beautiful work in progress. Koti looked to his partner and sighed at Imp's actions as such things were to be expected. Shortly after running back, Imp began chucking the cans at the fleeing goat. The blonde ex-soldier then fell to his knees and screamed at the sky out of the atrocity that took place just now.
Several minutes passed inside the cottage where the three were sipping hot green tea. Upon the table in front of the General and his comrade was quite clean unlike Imp's edge of the table which was littered in sugar wrappers. Imp had a sweet tooth but sometimes it seemed a bit ridiculous as he just brought out a jar filled with granulated sugar. He proceeded to take hefty spoonfuls of it and dump it into his large mug, looking pretty excited over it.
Collecting himself after watching Imp, Koti presented his partner. "This is Edynol." Imp took note of the soldier's long dark hair and a sudden feeling of jealousy overcame him. As Koti continued to introduce Edy, Imp felt his own hair, stretching it out to see it's length in comparison to Edy's. Much like regular men worry themselves with penis size, Imp was more concerned with hair length and softness. As long as he had the longest hair, that is all that mattered and made him feel oddly prideful over such a trivial thing.
"He's the best support you have for this mission, Imp. I suggest you bring him along." Edynol kept quiet among the two conversing veterans. The General continued on as Imp continued to play with his own hair. "He's skilled in every way. I assure you."
"I'll think on that, Koti." Imp's fingers brushed through his long hair while eying Edy in an unsettling manner as if to provoke him. Imp was obviously not maintaining any attention on Koti.
"We can't just fly out here again tomorrow, Imp. We have to know. After all, there is no other way of getting in contact with you other than in person!" Koti quickly pushed his chair back and stood up with palms resting on the table as he leaned over to get Imp's attention. The making of a scene worked as Imp looked up at him with a slight feeling of depression overcoming him.
"I left technology for good. After all the trouble with phones and computers, I'm done with technology altogether. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to watch some Tivo." Koti immediately face-palmed just as Imp left the table.
"Left technology, huh?" Koti proceeded to antagonize the hypocritical Imp. "Listen, dammit! Without you, this whole place will be destroyed!" Koti raised his voice to a frightening high level. Edynol followed behind his General as they moved closer to Imp who was resting on a dark purple couch.
"What now? Do the noobs have some nuclear missile?" Imp looked to Koti with disbelief but soon changed as Koti announced it as a positive.
"Well now, I guess I have no choice then. What seems to be the situation exactly, General?" Imp crossed his arms to the load of dependency bearing down on him.
Edynol quickly stepped up to the plate and announced to Imp "They managed to steal one from the Downtown sector or possibly an outside source such as 4chan."
"I was talking to the General." Imp snarled at Edy, still looking over the soldier's hair length. Imp was sure that he still held the title as having the longest but he hadn't been out in the world recently to check.
"Actually, everything Edy just explained to you is correct." Koti quickly tried to defuse the situation but failed as Imp looked to him, thanking Koti and then rearing his head over to Edy and finishing with "...General." He gave Edy the stink eye but retreated back to keeping his attention on Koti.
"Currently the Despot is seen as a friendly individual in the land but to us he's a menace. He's untouchable."
"Oh, I'll touch him. I'll touch him where ever I want, rookie." Imp's confidence in that sounded rather odd and frightening at the same time to Koti and Edy.
Nervously scratching at his forehead over the situation he was currently in, Koti added to what Edy informed. "Thankfully they have yet to obtain the pass codes but will surely do so in time."
"It is imperative that the Despot does not gain these pass codes." Edy confronted Imp with a warning to keep in mind.
"Oh really? Cause before you said anything, I thought it'd be fine if he got them." Imp rolled his eyes at the rookie(or so he thought Edy to be). Among most of those securing RPA's fate, he found himself to be closest to the top for no valid reason other than his own ego. His marksman skills weren't anything grand nor his melee or skills with disarming explosives. If anything,m he was a Jack of all trades.
"Well, Imp. Are you with us then? If so then we have a set team for you to work with along with the highly skilled Edy here. Hell, you even fought alongside some of them in the past." Koti grabbed Edy by the shoulder and rubbed harshly as a positive gesture he cared for his soldier. Hoping Imp's harmful manner didn't get to Edy.
"Hmm... who?" Imp stopped shuffling through his list of recorded shows and movies on the Tivo.
"You may remember Leoni Green." Koti began going down the list with Imp responding to each name in how he personally remembered them.
"Ah yes. Mean Green, aka, Miss Manly Man. So what?"
"Also there is Siksta."
"You mean the deadly midget? Course I'm 6'5" so everyone is a midget..."
The General shook his head to Imp's unsavory attitude.
"Then there is also Alice."
"The badass you don't fuck with. Damn, she was a good pilot..."
Koti sighed and eased his pressure on Imp as it seemed the only way to get the job done. Allowing Imp to have any sort of freedom was dangerous due to his nihilistic and anarchist nature but it was worth a shot. "Fine then, Let's get on the chopper and you can gather your team once we have made it back to civilization."
"Now you're fuckin' talkin', Koti!" Imp sprung from his couch and faced the General with a large grin.
After gulping down his large mug filled with warm and heavily sweetened tea, Imp gathered what essentials he needed for the trip and was on his way to the chopper. It had been forever since Imp rode on one and feared flashbacks of wars he never partook in would haunt him still. One such war was Vietnam to which he was not even born yet to partake in nor the World Wars.
As the helicopter began to lift off, Imp peered off into the distance. The beauty of the land entrancing him for several minutes until he looked back to his home. To his surprise, a pack of goats were happily chewing away at the mess of cans and carrying them away even. Due to the blades and motor of the chopper being so loud, no one could hear the profanity exiting Imp's mouth...
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Next Chapter
Imp is off to gather his comrades from old after giving Koti the finger as the General offered Edy as a skilled partner for Imp's team. the offer was obviously declined and hilarity ensues...
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