Broforce: Attack of the Hoes from Outer Space IC (M)

[Cfavano]

Rated M for scenes of graphic violence, some adult themes, and a crap ton of Bro-mazingness



New New York Ciity, the United States of 'Murrica, 8:00 AM, Monday, April 3rd, 20XX, 5 years after the institution of world peace by the Broforce.

The shining metropolis of New New York. The crime rate is own to .1%, thanks mostly to the Broforce policing the world alongside the new Earth Defense Force, a United Nations coalition force that actually gets shit done. Usually. Well, SOMETIMES. It usually falls to the bros to take out the really bad guys, and the EDF usually just clean up afterwards.

Speaking of the Bros, why don't we visit them? Crossing over the New New York skyline, we come to the Bro-dome, a 200 story high golden tower of epic-ness that literally is like the Earth Fist-Bumping God. Going in through the front Doors, we see the atrium, where, in the middle of a the high-roofed room, is an olympic swimming pool-sized fountain of jelly wherein genetically-engineered supermodels in unrealistically skimpy string Bikinis frolic and wrestle and play for the visitors to watch.

Going past this is the shopping center, where the Populace can wander through a 20 floor supermall, where they could buy possibly any kind of bro-related item, from spent shell casings, to used uniforms, t all other kinds of official merch. In this mall is also the Food court of bro-ness, where one can find any kind of food a Mro or Fembro could want, and they are also frequently seen there eating, and hounded for autographs. You got Pizza, Tacos, Chimichangas, a Biergarten with over 2000 kinds of Draft Beer, including Bro-Brew, which is the only kind of alcoholic beverage that is actually capable of overpowering a Bro's super-powerful metabolism, and actually get them blitzed, and more.

Above the Mall is the private areas of the bros. It includes lounges, private rooms, communal showers (for the bros, regardless of Gender, all bathe together, such is their bond of trust), and while there is flirting between the genders, they all trust each other with their lives and would never cross or harm (seriously, or on purpose) each other. There are also many game rooms with every board, video, arcade, and cabinet game imaginable. Including Skeeball. There are also 20 floors dedicated to their own version of 'The Danger Room'. Above that is a fully-equipped gym with an olympic-sized swimming pool, a sauna, a steam room, and every piece of exercise equipment ever known to man.

Now, let's zoom in on out friends, the Bros.

Ash sits on a bench reading the newspaper and curling a 400 pound dumbbell with his fleshy hand. "Same old, same old. The news is never interesting anymore." A buxom attendant feeds him a slice of Pizza while stroking his black hair. He sighs.

[Dire Hoef]

Bros Before Hoes

Leon was quietly playing some hoops knocking out three's one after thee other. It was rather simple to hit such a point, but it came with a price. As a Bro Leon realized that he wanted to protect the world and entrust his life into his fellow Bros. But that came with a price. Leon finished up his three pointer session and returned to the lounge area and moved towards the work-out room where he was going to test more of his strength. Leon stepped into the room and took of his shirt and swung fists at the punching bag nearby. The fist that he threw were generally loud and window shattering, but since he was inside, he wasn't going to use his full strength. He swung his left foot doing a round-house kick, kicking the punching bag off the rack for the seventh time today. Leon cracked his knuckles as he put another one there and threw the old one away.

Leon then returned to the lounge area once more without his shirt and moved towards the swimming area knowing he decided it was time for a dip. Leon undressed and put on some swimming trunks, and with this dived in like it was nothing and swam laps around for the rest of his time knowing he wasn't getting tired at all.

[LittleLionFire]

A lithe figure had already been swimming in the pool, when they were interrupted by a quiet splash, signaling someone else dicing in to use the water. The woman surfaced, and hung onto the rope deviding her lane from the other lane. Her cat green eyes were slighlty covered by her wet hair. The usual fire like red had been toned darker by the water, making it look more like the dark russet that covered metal if left out too long. The natural waves were weighed down, hugging her skin, tickling her shoulders. Droplets of water glistened off of her body. She was wearing a modest black one piece, but it did show her curves. She had her unique weapon still on, the wrist band having been modified to be waterproof.

Natasha Romanoff studied Leon, his hair darkening as well as he went past, fully emersong himself in the pool, coming up for hreaths and diving down again. She studied his build, he was musculare. They all were, really. But she was the one who tended to be mistaken for just a loose woman flaunting her stuff, as he strength was not physically shown well. She was also the shortest, standing at a perfect eight feet.

She directed her thoughts back to Leon, and decided that she was a bit bored. She ducked down, pushing off from the bottom of the floor, tackling the man. Her arms came around his neck, tightening, legs closing around his waist, heels diging into his diaphram. Her eyes narrowed in concentration, hands pressing on his windpipe.

To intruders it would look like she was trying to kill him. But she was only using a tenth of her strength. For any Bro of Fembro, that was really strong. But it was not the strongest any of them could have gone. Leon could easily make his way out of her grasp.

Whay Natasha was doing was her usual greeting, testing out her companions. Of course, she did not call any of them friends but two. Dante, and Leon.

She concentrated once again on keeping Leon under water while holding on with hands and feet.

[Dire Hoef]

The Struggle

Leon was suddenly strangled by one of the Fembros he had only regonise on a daily basis. Leon smirked knowing there was some strength to this woman, but the strength she was pulling was rather hard to get out of. He sunk low into the water pulling her down with him and with this Leon landed onto the bottom of the swimming-pool floor and with this landed his feet upon the floor itself and seconds later transfered his energy into his legs and leaped upwards spirting out the water like a dolphine and with this knowing the Fembro would be dazed by this Leon shifted position to break the grip and so wrapped the Fembro around waist with his arms and came down like a cannon ball. He broke away before contact with the water and with this landed on the side of the pool sliding to stop. Leon stood with his arms crossed knowing that was clear violation of Bro Law. He shook his head sighing.

[Duke]

"...That is why I, Matt Hazard, always choose," Matt Hazard flexed his muscles and posed dramatically with an energy drink in his right hand next to his face as a camera zoomed in on him "Eagle Fire Energy!" Matt took the can and began chugging it before cruhing the can on the head of a dummy that was made to look like Osama Bin Laden, then turned around and punched right through another dummy that represented Adolf Hitler. "Eagle Fire, not for weaklings!" He shouted before posing in another muscle flexing stance.

"Cut!" a voiced yelled from behind the camera. "That's a Wrap!"

"Finally," Matt took a deep breath, looking out to the spectators that stared back at him in awe on the top floor of the mall. "Let's see, you, you, and you," he pointed out three different, busty women. "Come with me."

He led the three "ladies" to an elevator and took them up to one of the Bro common rooms. This one was currently empty but lit up upon his entrance. He picked up a remote control and aimed it to an enormous stereo. Immediately the speakers started thumping out a heavy electronic beat. "Dance," he instructed the three girls before sitting down in a recliner to watch. He snapped his fingers and out of the floor rose a cooler full of Bro-Brew. He cracked open a bottle and sat back in his chair, enjoying his "show" as the ladies gradually danced closer to him, then all over him.

[Oren]

"GET BACK HERE!"

Vi, the Piltover Enforcer, smashed her way through wall after wall, her Hextech Gauntlets spitting steam as they went to work. Ahead of her she heard the ever taunting, maniactic laugh of her nemesis echo towards her as she continued to smash her way through the National Bank of Piltover.

"Heeheeheehee, catch me if you can, LOSER!"

Vi's nostril's flared as she powered up her guantlets and punched with both of them, breaking down the doors to the bank's vault. She ran inside, searching wildly for the villainous girl that had put her on this chase. Jinx's voice echoed through the vault, taunting Vi.

"Silly Vi, you'll never catch me like that. Shame that our fun had to come to an end, and a rather EXPLOSIVE one at that! HAHAHAHA!"

Realizing she had been lead into a trap, Vi ran for the vault door and leaped out right as a small *ding* was heard, quickly followed by the roar and heat from the explosives Jinx had planted. Vi raised her gauntlets to cover her face from the blast, but it never came. Shortly before the wave of fire hit her the scene melted away to from a large steel room. A monotone woman's voice echoed through-out the room.

"Simulation terminated. Now returning to stasis."

With a growl Vi stomped out of her Danger Room and into her bedroom, furious at herself for even letting a virtual Jinx get the best of her. She slammed her right gauntlet into a wall creating a massive hole to her bathroom. Anger vented she sighed and sat down, twisting the dials on the gauntlets so they fell off of her arms and onto the ground with a heavy thud. She flipped her purple hair back out of her eyes, stripped out of her armour and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around herself and headed to the showers. She needed to cool of from training, otherwise the next person she saw might be forced to deal with a broken nose.

[LittleLionFire]

Natasha was stunned, and sensing no clear threat, just lay, floating, eyes closed, mouth curled in a smirk. She opened one eye, lazily opening the other to look at Leon, with a playful lidded gaze. She was not one for rules, only following those that made sense for that situation. Plus, she had 'attacked' Leon before, it was nothing new. She swam to the edge, hefting herself up and over, easily coming to stand on the edge. She then went to the towel rack and chose a random one, discovering it was a spiderman towel. She scoffed, but used it to dry her hair as much as she could, running it around her body to gathe all the water she could. She stood up straight, balled the towel into her hands and tossed it into the laundry basket for the dirty towels. She then put her hands on her hips, and cocked her head at Leon, the smirk still on her face.

"Quick thinking. As expected of you. What were you up to before you came here?"

[Thelonewanderer]

(Samus Aran)

Walking up to the Danger Room, Samus wanted to get some work in. After the Bro-Force had finished up cleaning the crime of the world, she had nothing to do but train. After all, she was pulled her without her gunship, and had nothing else to do. Plus, she seemed so much stronger, it was worth staying if it meant she could pulverize her enemies with just the Power Beam, and Missiles. No more hunting through ruins to find suit upgrades.

Walking into the DR, Samus saw a fellow Fembro walking out, seemingly pissed. Must of had a bad session. the former bounty huntress thought to herself as she walked into the Danger Room. As she walked in, the room turned from the gray box it was to a familiar environment.

The rain was coming down on her visor, and the lock to the impact crater was finally cracked. Before she could even get a chance to go down and fight whatever was down there, Samus's archenemy made an appearance. Ridley, commander of the Space Pirate Force, and the killer of her parents.

Narrowing her eyes, Samus took aim, and started to light up the space dragon, his screech filling the air and making the huntress smirk. while the space dragon tried to dodge, attack, and even flatten Samus at one point, he was no match for Samus. Her Power Beam, no overpowered to the max, chipped his armor more than even her plasma beam could have, and her missiles were the nail in the coffin, as she blew him to pieces, the body parts falling into the ravine next to the entrance to the impact crater.

The simulation ended, the Impact Crater falling away, back to the plain gray walls of the Danger Room. "I wonder why that booted up when I walked in. I haven't thought about Ridley in months." Samus thought out loud as she walked out, and down to the food court, wanting to get a bite to eat. Some food would do her good.

[Bunnybearbird]

Athena was perched on the top of the building her wings tucked behind her back. She enjoyed the relative silence she got when she sat up here five hundred stories up in the early morning hours. She leaned against the cool metal as the morning rays of the sun beat down on her skin.

When the city started waking up she ran and jumped off the top of the building, spreading her wings in all their glory as she glided down and into a nearby window. She looked and saw that she had landed in a common room with loud music playing. What she saw wasn't the prettiest of sights as she saw three women dancing around a Bro that looked to have been Matt. She saw the empty Bro-Brew bottles and shook her head. She attempted to get out without disturbing his moment and preceded to knock straight into the pinball machine that made far too much noise for its own good.

[Overmorrow]

The opposite wall of the armaments testing room was suddenly engulfed in flames, it's white, blast-proof area completely disappeared for a moment, as the fireball bathed the space in red, yellow, and eventually black heat. After a brief time, the smoke cleared, and the wall was left unscathed, save for the several hundred objects which began to take figure behind the gray screen. Seconds passed. Innumerable silver bolts lay embedded in the impossibly solid titanium-plated walls, their once shimmering metallic surfaces glowed red hot, well above the draper point.
"Penetrated." Blade chuckled, his grin wide as he loosened his grip on the enormous bazooka-like launcher. It's green paint job didn't match his all-black outfit, but it's fuel storage container held more than an automobile's gas tank and it's ludicrous amount of vampire-slaying projectiles succeeded that of his own satisfaction.

The tempering silver stakes reflected in his opaque black sunglasses, and created a dazzling display of radiating dots in randomly scattered locations across the lenses.
"It's lacking something, though..." Blade's tone dropped, as did his grin. The servant seemed concerned with more than simply his by-request-invention. "Needs more...hot. Quadruple nitro-storage, please." And with that, he dumped the weapon from his shoulder and let it fall, before the weapon's expert caught it in both his arms, grunting as the ungodly weight was bestowed upon his aching back.
Blade smiled a gruesome smile, filled with menacing teeth and ferociously long canines.
Crossing his arms, he surveyed the extensive damage with an unhealthy and obsessive amount of interest.