[M] The Sword and the Fang [Namingtoohard & Ashen]

[Ashen]

The silence following the book’s reintroduction must have lasted only a few seconds at most, but to Lec, it stretched on long enough for them to worry about what Issa was thinking. Maybe he did think they were weird, or foolish, inappropriate. But then he burst into laughter, and Lec’s brow furrowed. “Hey!” they choked out, but by then they were laughing too. This was ridiculous, but they’d brought the book for him, to create breaks from their travels and to maintain small moments of normalcy in the face of all this stress. They had good intentions, and maybe Issa saw that too.

Though they weren’t as amused as Issa, Lec too laughed harder, spurred by the silliness of the situation, their own wasted anxiety, and Issa’s reaction beside them. When they quieted, they watched him, smiling at his expression, at the sound of his laughter. Joy. In a conversation about everything they were both missing back home, this was a beautiful reminder of what they were fighting for. So distracted by him, it took Lec a few moments to register his answer, and they were surprised at just how much they were looking forward to him agreeing. “Me too,” they said softly as they felt their cheeks warm.

Issa’s jokes reignited their laughter, and Lec waved off his exaggerated thanks. They reminded him of the hat he had stolen for them back on the ship, the one partially crushed in their pack, and pointed out how they weren’t the only one filling their world-saving journey with petty larceny. Their tone too was jovial, and as they filled the evening with their shared laughter, Lec realized just how much they enjoyed Issa’s company. He’d made them laugh like this a few times now since they’d left home, even when it was the last thing they felt like doing. He’d come at a strange time in their life, a miserable time, and as Lec thought about returning to that, their smile faded. At the end of this, they would defeat the dragon, and Lec would return to the inns of Evimaire while Issa went back to his forest. The ability to go back was why they were out here in the first place, but… Why did the thought make them so sad?

They were thankful for Issa’s interruption and the chance to dismiss thoughts of his absence. “It shouldn’t be long now,” they answered, but when their gaze rose to the sky, they faltered. This trip was supposed to take them a couple hours, and they had been keeping time by the movement of the setting sun, but they had lost track of the distance they’d trekked as they had talked and laughed with Issa. Embarrassment poked at their cheeks, and they unrolled their map to check again. There were no landmarks around them, though, and nothing marked on the map between their starting point and destination. “Not long,” they repeated vaguely.

Issa’s suggestion startled them, and Lec looked up from the map with a dismissive chuckle. “Oh, I couldn’t—” they started, but they let themselves consider it. Deflecting was their gut reaction. They still weren’t comfortable around Issa’s other forms, though perhaps less out of fear and more because they didn’t know what to do when he was an animal. Wasn’t it time to take the opportunities to fix that though? Issa had taken on several forms since they’d left Evimaire, and Lec needed to get over themselves. “Are you sure?” they asked, their uncertainty clear in their own voice.

This road was probably a good opportunity: it wasn’t so long that they’d be stuck like this, but it was long enough that they could get a feel for each other and see if this would be an option on longer journeys. Or Lec was rationalizing; they couldn’t tell. They looked at Issa with a new, shy interest. “Okay,” they mumbled. “I don’t know what animal would be most comfortable, but I should warn you that I haven’t ridden a horse in over ten years. Or… any animal, for that matter.” Certainly not an animal who was also a human sometimes. Was this weird, or were they making it weird? “If I do anything wrong, you can just tell me. Or, um, I guess you can’t, so just… bite me?” They were not doing a good job of being normal about this.

Lec turned away, muttering to themselves under their breath, before they turned back to him. “I’m sorry,” they said, “I’ve never ridden someone before. Uh—like this,” they added, their cheeks immediately darkening. “Gods,” they huffed, frustrated at the mess they were making of this conversation. “Yes. Yes, let’s try this. But if it doesn’t feel right, for any reason, we can stop, okay?”

[Namingtoohard]

When Lec asked if he was sure, Issa hesitated. He had certainly thought so. The Lucet never would’ve offered otherwise. But that simple question planted a small seed of doubt in his mind. Made him feel like he needed to reevaluate, just in case. Issa chewed on the inside of his cheek in silence, just for a moment, as he did so. Lec was offering him an easy out, if he wanted it. A few dismissive words, some awkward laughter, and they could both pretend that he’d never suggested it. And yet, when he was done, Issa was surprised to find that his resolve held firm. He met Lec’s eye and confirmed his intentions with a single, stalwart nod.

The human’s tone made it clear that they were struggling with the idea a little, so Issa listened to their concerns in patient silence, whilst considering the best way to soothe their fears. At least, up until the moment Lec suggested he bite them as retribution for any mistakes. Before Issa could stop it, an incredulous chuckle slipped from his lips. “I’m not going to bite you” he assured them. What an absurd thing to have to say. Maybe that was proof as to how strange their circumstances, this whole prophecy and quest, really were.

Before he could interrupt, Lec bumbled onwards, and made things significantly worse. Oblivious as ever, Issa completely missed the innuendo hidden in their words the first time. But when Lec doubled down, an image of what they were implying rose to the front of Issa’s mind, and his cheeks started to burn. He had no choice but to turn his head away, lest he die from embarrassment. He really, really needed to think about something else right now, before his self-control slipped, and he inevitably said something they’d both regret later. When Lec opted to press onwards, pretending nothing had happened, Issa quickly decided to follow their lead. He dragged his attention back to the matter at hand, and the heat filling his face slowly started to dissipate.

“You’re overthinking it” he answered, once he trusted himself to speak again. There was no sense of chastisement to his words – Issa spoke them as a simple statement of fact. “Just because I’m going to look like a horse doesn’t mean I have to behave like one. I can lie down so you can climb on, and again if I need you to get off. You won’t need to worry about me getting spooked and rearing, or drinking contaminated water, or breaking a leg on uneven ground. All you really need to do is hold on…and maybe give me directions if the road splits.”

The thought of Lec burying their hands in his hair quickly threatened to distract Issa again, but he pushed the thought aside before it could take hold. Given the circumstances, he doubted it would be anywhere near as fun as his imagination wanted him to believe. Just like last time, he decided pressing onwards was the best course. “I don’t want to pull anything on our first attempt, so I’ll need to warm up before I can really get moving. Hopefully that’ll give you a chance to find your rhythm. Now, is there anything else you wanted to cover? I won’t be able to answer you once I’m a horse, so if you have any more questions, now’s the time.”

Once Lec was ready, Issa took a moment to glance in both directions. When he was certain that there weren’t any other people around, and that there weren’t any cars coming, he stepped out into the road, where there was a little more space. He took a moment to roll his shoulders and shake out his legs, trying to limber up a little before he took his new shape. Then he turned his attention towards Lec, one last time.

“Just don’t get any funny ideas about our accommodations tonight. If you try and make me sleep outside with the other animals, I really will bite you.” A ghost of a smile flickered over his features, before he finally turned his attention inwards, and began the familiar process of transforming. His form twisted, and a familiar wave of pain washed over him. Then his human body was gone, leaving an inconspicuous black paint horse in its place.

It took Issa a moment to adjust to this new form. He wasn’t used to horses, and the strange way their monocular and binocular vision blended left him feeling particularly disoriented. He blinked rapidly for a few seconds, until his brain adjusted, and his vision settled. Then he tested out his legs and rolled his joints, much like he had in human form. The Lucet even took a moment to crick his neck and swish his new tail. Then, at long last, he was ready. Issa lowered himself down, until his stomach was resting against the pavement. The sensation was incredibly uncomfortable, but he’d deal with it, for Lec’s sake. Then the Lucet turned his head until he could fix a single crimson eye on them, before nickering softly in both invitation and encouragement.

[Ashen]

Something about the directness in Issa’s words rendered Lec silent. They were overthinking, they always were, but they weren’t used to people so openly calling them out on that. They didn’t feel scolded; Issa’s observation was just a simple fact that hung between them. In a way, it was even comforting, as if Issa was trying to tell them they had nothing to worry about. Lec wasn’t sure they could trust him on that—they would always have reason to worry, broken as their brain was—but the assurance did not go unnoticed nor unappreciated.

They didn’t have any questions for him, or couldn’t think of any quickly enough to not make the silence awkward, but they did think it important to establish a kind of signal they could use if they wanted to get off him. Once they’d done that, Lec took a wary step away from Issa and waited for him to do his thing.

It still felt so strange. Lec had watched Issa’s transformations a handful of times now, cringing at the snapping of bones and the stretching of skin. It was a miracle, what Issa could do, and it still hurt to look at. But Lec watched him patiently, wanting to understand. It was a magic not unlike their own, and thus not easily understood by those not raised around it, but that was what made it all the more intriguing. There was beauty in it, and even if Lec had heard stories about these shifts all their life, they were nothing like watching the impossibility of one unfold before their eyes. In just a few moments, Issa was standing there in his new form, ready to get on with their journey.

Lec didn’t know how much control Issa had over his patterns and colors, or if he noticed them at all, but Lec laughed at the fact that he was even a pretty horse. Their smile faded as they started to hesitating, wondering if this really was okay to do. A human riding a Lucet; things like that were unheard of, weren’t they? How weird would it have been to back out now? Very weird, they decided with a shake of their head. They would not sabotage their journey because of their own unresolved issues around Issa and his people’s shifting.

Lec swallowed and approached Issa tentatively, as if he might actually bite them. When he glanced back at them, that dark eye was so much more innerving in the shape of a horse’s, and Lec paused, fear passing over their face. He had assured them that, even in this form, he was still Issa, and Lec trusted Issa, but Lec couldn’t see the man they had gotten to know anymore. They saw instead the creatures in their storybooks, the one that had attacked them all those years ago in a flurry of claws, the blood.

Lec stumbled back, a hand subconsciously flying to their neck, as if they could rip the claws out of them in their memory. They turned away from Issa, embarrassed. He wasn’t like that. He couldn’t be, in this form, and their fears were irrational. But knowing that their emotions were without logic didn’t make them any less sharp, and as Lec approached Issa again, anxiety prickled under their skin, impossible to ignore.

“I’m going to… get on now.” They hated how nervous they sounded, and they hoped horse ears were different, less attuned to the emotions of humans, so they wouldn’t worry Issa too. Lec tried to remember how they had been taught to mount a horse, when they’d been just a child. They settled their hands on the back of Issa’s neck, lifted a leg across his back, and slowly lowered themselves onto him. They immediately felt weird; did Issa really not mind having their weight on him? Having them so close to him like this? If Issa were any other man, Lec would be uncomfortable being in such close proximity. But the thought was moot; Issa wasn’t any other man, and he had assured them already, so Lec tried to swallow their anxiety and get comfortable.

“Okay,” they said, as much to Issa as themselves. When Issa rose, they startled at the sudden motion and clutched to his mane. They quickly apologized, loosened their grip, and took a breath. How was this supposed to go again? They didn’t have reins, didn’t even have a saddle, and they’d certainly never learned to ride bareback. But that was the whole point of this. Issa had called it finding their rhythm. This was an opportunity to understand how they fit together, and they’d never learn anything if Lec kept overthinking it all.

It took a while for the weirdness to go away. Lec found a position that was comfortable, and eventually, the grip on Issa’s mane relaxed, the tension in their shoulders fell, and they could trust Issa to not let them fall. He was a lot quicker to warm up to them than they were, because soon he was darting forward, faster than Lec had expected, and they had to grab him again just to keep on.

It was… fun. Trotting down the empty road, taking in the sights and smells of the forest a little distance away, while the wind blew through their hair; there was an exhilaration that came with traveling this way. Issa was a beautiful creature, his strong legs making the gait smooth and weightless, his mane billowing around him. There were still those eyes, so dark and eerie, but after a while, even the fear of those subsided. Lec wondered why they had never been back to ride a horse, but they then considered that it wasn’t just the ride that they were enjoying now. It was Issa, knowing he trusted them enough to do this. Was it really just the faster travel that had led Issa to the suggestion, or was there something else? Lec stared down at their hands on his neck and wondered how this felt for him.

When a spattering of buildings came into view, Lec was surprised at their own disappointment. They pointed ahead and told Issa where they were headed, and when they were close enough, they hopped off of him when he gave them the opportunity. They were far enough away that no one would see Issa change, but close enough that the rest of the walk wouldn’t be tiring. The ride had saved them a lot of time, judging by the position of the sun, maybe enough time to even explore this new city a little.

Lec took a step, and a dull pain ran up their legs. They were definitely not used to horseback riding, and they cringed. Some rest would do them good. They turned towards Issa. “That went better than I expected,” they admitted. Even if they hadn’t spoken on the ride, and Issa couldn’t have spoken back, they had enjoyed his company. Knowing he was there with them, trapped in this same prophecy with the same grief and fear, made handling Lec’s own emotions a lot more manageable. They couldn’t help but feel that this experience had drawn them closer, but the thought of that left them shaking their head at themselves. They smiled at Issa. “I hope that was okay for you too.”