Perhaps, Sam considered, he should not have asked such an invasive question. He was being insensitive, and it was in no way fair to Genevieve to bring up such dark memories when she only meant to go for a pleasant walk around town. Sam considered apologizing, but it was too late; he didn’t want to interrupt her now for fear of making things even worse. So he let her speak about the man she had loved, lamenting the solitude Genevieve now felt and the cruel circumstances that had taken her husband from her. The more she spoke, the more Sam wanted to reach out and comfort her, but he didn’t have anything to give. As an angel, he’d been especially bad at empathy—and how could anyone blame him? Angels didn’t feel things like humans did—and now, as a man, he was at a loss about things to say to make the situation better.
Genevieve’s husband had been…murdered. That part was difficult for Sam to hear for a variety of reasons, and he startled at the fear that rippled from his chest. Genevieve had spent all morning assuring him of the kindness of her neighbors, and Sam had believed in their trustworthy nature. But her husband had been killed for his trust, so how could Sam be kind to anyone now? He turned away, considering that. If he found himself in a similar situation, how would he react? Sam didn’t want to distrust everyone around him, but he didn’t want to get killed for his naivety either. He’d spent so long as an angel, fearless; would that make him an easy target? Luckily, angels had plenty of god-given gifts that he could use to—oh. Sam was simply a man, equipped only with his two fists and a penchant for finding trouble wherever he went. Maybe he wasn’t cut out for a place like this after all.
But when Sam turned back towards Genevieve, the thought evaporated, and he felt silly for thinking it. Here was someone who had experienced such terrible, senseless loss, but still found the strength to be a good person. She was kind enough to share her home, her time, her stories with a complete and frankly suspicious stranger. Sam wanted to be more like her, kind despite his surroundings, and true to himself despite his circumstances. But first, he still needed to find out what kind of man he was.
Before he had a chance to respond to Genevieve, or try—and likely fail—to comfort her, she was starting away from him. He watched her for a moment, shocked that he’d already messed up this, too. Now, he was sure he should have kept his stupid mouth shut. “Genevieve,” he softly called after her. “I…” What? What could he say to excuse his tactless curiosity? Even as she had cried to him, his thoughts had gone not to comforting her but to his own safety. Sam cursed himself. If he wanted to pass as a man—a respectable man—he really needed to get better at considering other people.
When he caught up to her, he grabbed her hand and forced her attention to him. “Genevieve,” he said again, “I’m sorry for bring it up. It was careless of me.” He tried on a sympathetic smile. “If you don’t want to talk about it, I promise to never bring it up again.” His gaze flicked towards the house they were standing in front of now. Evidently, their walk was about to be cut short. Sam cursed his clumsiness, his bad luck, and for a moment, he wondered if she would be better off if he left now and never disrupted her life again.
The thought was immature, and Sam quickly wrote it off. After all, where would he be without Genevieve? He smiled again. “Why don’t you take it easy for the rest of the day? I can cook us some dinner later if you don’t mind showing me where some things are. I can even garden for you.” Did he know enough about plants to offer that? Sam shrugged. How hard could it be? “And,” he added, “thank you. For telling me what happened.” He let go of her hand, suddenly feeling very awkward for having taken it. He looked towards the house again. “Do you have tea? Would you like me to start the water?”
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